#and I don't remember her having cakey makeup

[arabella-s-arts]

One of the plots in Ugly Betty season 1 is that there is a beautiful black woman better suited for a job than the white guy who only got it because his dad gave it to him, and she is trying to steal the job away from him. And somehow, in all of this, we are supposed to root for the nepotism baby.

[ckret2]

due to stuff involving a goat, the only thing that can save the pines family is sticking bill cipher in a cute dress, doing weird 70's things to his hair, slapping makeup on him, and sending him to flirt with a government agent

and if that ain't a setup for a chapter i don't know what is

anyway here's chapter 86 of this thing.

####

"Something about this is just wrong," Stan said. "It isn't natural."

"Oh, I don't know," Ford said, grinning. "I think it's funny."

Without looking over, trying not to move his lips, Bill said, "I'd like to see you do better."

It was still a few minutes until the Mystery Shack opened for the day, and he and Mabel were sitting in the kitchen, with Bill miserably wearing a mis-buttoned Hawaiian shirt so he wouldn't mess up his makeup when he changed into his flirting uniform. The makeup supplies Pacifica had sent them home with yesterday were spread out on the kitchen table, and they were collaboratively trying to remember how to recreate the look Pacifica had given Bill yesterday. Thus far, they'd managed moisturizer and foundation and were debating the finer points of concealer color theory.

"I didn't say it's bad," said Ford, whose opinions on makeup only fell into three categories: obviously hideous; fine, I guess; and potentially magical sigils for ritual purposes. "It's just bizarre watching you care about it."

Bill mumbled, "I'm blending in with the Nacirema." Ford barked a laugh. (About time somebody got it.)

Stan elbowed Ford. "What's a Nacirema?"

"It's— There's this phenomenon in anthropology— I'll explain it later."

Stan grumbled to himself about the nerds enabling each other, then said, "Hey. When you do the lipstick, don't make it look too good. If it looks too good, he'll assume you're out of his league and get suspicious when you start hitting on him. I never trust attention from a lady whose lipstick isn't at least a little cakey."

Offended, Mabel said, "Grunkle Stan, I'm an artiste! I can't do a bad job on purpose!"

Bill said, "It doesn't matter! Once I get my seduction hat on, he won't even glance at my face." He poked the top hat sitting on the kitchen table.

"Oh, no you don't," Stan said. "Hat's gotta go, it's too tall. Guys hate it when their dates are taller than them."

"What?!" Bill stared at Stan, aghast. "You've gotta be insane! The hat's essential—"

"Hold still!" Mabel poked his neck with the butt of a makeup brush.

He reluctantly gave up and turned to face her again, but not without muttering to himself, "Can't wear a seduction hat, can't stick my hand in a goat's stomach acid, god forbid women do anything."

Last night's hunt for Gompers had been an abysmal failure—Dipper and Mabel had never even glimpsed him. This morning, beneath the banter, there was a somber air in the room; the household was trying not to think about the fact that their collective safety was resting on Bill's ability to seem appealing to a normal man in spite of the fact that they were having a conversation, and he wasn't even able to convincingly pretend he had a plan.

Dipper was trying to get breakfast around Bill and Mabel. Once Mabel had puffed on a layer of setting powder, Bill twisted around to give Dipper an unnecessarily wide smile. "Hey! How do I look?"

He glanced up from pouring a bowl of cereal and grimaced. "Somehow even less like a real human than usual."

Bill laughed. "Yep, it's the lack of pores." He turned away to check his mirror as he applied his mascara.

Mabel said, "He'll look better once we get the lipstick on."

Soos ducked in from the living room. "Hey, uh, guys?" It was clear he'd been as distracted that morning as the rest of them; he'd misbuttoned his suit jacket. "I just saw the government dudes' car again. Like, in the parking lot this time, not lurking down the street."

The energy in the air changed, like a subtle electric current shooting through the room. "Okay, enough gawking at the freak show," Stan said. "Ford?"

"Right!" He grabbed up his coffee mug, re-thought it, and poured the mug back in the coffee pot and picked up the pot instead, then bolted from the kitchen. He returned a moment later with his arms loaded with his journal, several books, and a couple of guns that would definitely be illegal on Earth if Earth had ever heard they existed. "Basement."

Bill turned toward the doorway so fast Mabel almost smeared lipstick across his cheek. Basement? He hoped Ford meant his study. If they went all the way to the basement, and noticed that somebody had been moving around the rubble of the portal...

"Bill!" Mabel said.

"I know, I know." He turned back to her again.

A final line, and Mabel sighed in relief. "Okay, you're good."

Stan rummaged through the fridge for the first thing he could find to sustain himself and Ford for the day. "Hey, demon. Remember everything I taught you."

"Yeah, yeah," Bill sighed. "Don't claim I have a job he can fact-check, don't pretend I make more money than him unless I want him to invite me to a fancy restaurant and pretend he forgot his wallet, if he asks my age I'm fifteen years younger than him, my human family lives across the country, I don't have any sisters that might be prettier, and there's nothing I wanna hear about more than World War 2 battle tactics or vintage car repair or whatever hobby he's picked up to make himself feel more masculine."

"And?" Mabel prompted.

"And my favorite animal is cats, my favorite color is pink, my favorite flavor is chocolate, my favorite film genre is not slapstick snuff, my favorite time to get married is next week, and my favorite body part on a partner is their eyes still inside their sockets, but if I specify the socket part it'll worry him."

"Right! Gold star!" She smacked a sticker onto his shirt.

Stan clapped a hand on his shoulder. "Knock 'im dead," he said. "Not literally. Unless you're sure the other two won't catch you."

"I'll see what I can do," Bill said.

####

The three agents eyed the sign that had been set up outside the Mystery Shack's main door. It said, "Self-guided tour today! $15" and there was a cardboard box taped beneath with a slit cut in the lid.

Agent Dale said, "Do you think that's for us?"

"Probably not," Trigger said uncertainly. "We have a warrant."

"Huh." Dale reread the sign, then tentatively rummaged through his pocket for his wallet and pulled out three fives. Trigger pushed his hand back down.

Soos ran around the side of the shack, breathing heavily. "Oh, wow! What a... totally random coincidence... running into you guys again..." He put his hands on his knees, huffing. "Gimme a sec. I was... running pretty fast... for no reason."

"Mr. Ramirez," Powers said. He held out a search warrant. "We're here to search this building for missing government property."

"Oh, dude, that's crazy," Soos said. "Do you like, have evidence that this property is in the building? Like, I don't know, any kind of... signal that it's giving off, maybe? That confirms it's here?"

Powers turned to Dale. He pulled his tablet out to check. "Uhhh... negative, sir. We're nnnot detecting the signal we picked up yesterday."

Powers frowned. "Hmm."

Trigger said, "Maybe the signal's... on the fritz?"

"Good point," Powers said. "We'd better search anyway. Dale, you start in the museum; Trigger, come with me to the back. I'll interview Mr. Ramirez." He gave Soos a sharp look. "And I hope you'll have more to say today than that you don't know anything."

Soos swallowed hard.

####

From the living room couch, Soos called to Trigger, "Be careful with the stuff in here, okay? This old shack's full of priceless antiques and authentic exotic curios. I glued half of them together myself!"

"So." Powers took a seat in one of the armchairs, opened an unlabeled manila folder and propped it on his knee, and clicked out a retractable pen. "Jesús Ramirez, correct? You prefer 'Soos'?"

"Yep, that's right," Soos said. "When I started school, my cousin Reggie, he'd yell at me across the cafeteria to sit with him, like, 'Jesús!' But some of the kids in my grade thought he was saying, 'hey, Soos!' And it stuck."

Powers nodded slowly. "I... see. And, you're the head of the household."

"Yup! That's me!"

"Property records say that the house is owned by 'Stanford Pines'?"

"Uhhh, yeah," Soos said. "He kinda, stepped down as head of the house, unofficially, and I'm running the house now. Also the business."

"And where is Stanford Pines right now?"

"Oh, he's out." (They had agreed that under no circumstances could the agents talk to Stan, lest something from last summer come up; and they definitely couldn't talk to the real Stanford Pines, whom they already knew as a mysterious superior officer from Washington.)

"When will he be back?"

Soos hesitated. "Ooout of the country. World traveling. Yeah, haha, he's been doing that for the past year with his brother."

Powers flipped a couple pages forward in his file. "His brother Sherman? Who lives in New Jersey?"

"No no, his other brother."

His other brother who died thirty years ago?"

Soos paused. "Uhhh..."

Dale ducked into the living room. "Sirs—I've found something interesting. You have to come see this."

Powers got to his feet, closing his folder and tucking it under his arm. "Excuse me." He followed his agents.

Soos heaved a sigh of relief.

"Wow, Questiony,—you were this close to collapsing like a house of cards."

Bill sauntered down the stairs. He was in a dress covered in yellowy-orangey triangles that managed, for the first time all summer, to reveal that he did in fact have curves, and he'd grabbed a set of green triangular clip-on earrings from Mabel's jewelry. A gold star sticker had been stuck on one of the earrings. Soos thought it was kinda weird to look at him all dressed up, with hair and everything. Bill looked like if Bill had a sister.

"Man," Soos said, slumping back into the couch. "I don't know if I can take another round of that. They're using some kind of government interrogation mind tricks."

"Relax," Bill said. "I'll take it from here."

He shut one eye and shot Soos a pair of finger guns as he backed into the gift shop, and twirled around to go pursue his prey.

####

Dale jogged through the gift shop, nodding to a couple of tourists as he passed—"Morning, ladies"—and ducked through the "employees only" door. A moment later, all three agents jogged into the museum. An older woman asked, "Why are so many handsome men in suits running around?"

As Bill let himself into the gift shop, he said, "Secret government agents! They're here investigating a conspiracy."

"Oh my," the woman gushed. "Isn't that exciting!"

"They'll only be here today! See if you can get their autographs!" Bill leaned on the front counter. "Hey, nice to see you back. You were missed yesterday."

Melody gave him an irritated look from behind the register.

"Surprised you came in, after how you felt yesterday!" In part because Soos was attempting to get as many people away from the shack and out of the danger zone as possible. He'd told Wendy she could take the day off, he'd persuaded Abuelita to go visit Reggie and his wife, and he'd tried to talk the kids into hanging out somewhere else for the day and only relented when they argued that their plucky 13-year-old adventuring expertise could be useful if things took a turn for the worse. Surely, he'd asked his fiancée to stay home too; strange that she hadn't. "Word is you're having trouble sleeping. Bad dreams? If it is, I could help you out. I happen to be an expert on—"

"I don't want your help." Her voice was a lot more venomous than Bill had expected.

He blinked in surprise. He knew she wasn't his biggest fan, but that seemed unnecessarily hostile. "Whoa, just offering! Don't bite my head off. Those don't grow back."

Melody sighed. "Sorry," she said insincerely, looking away from him. "I just... This whole plan bothers me. Flirting with some poor guy just to distract him."

Don't lie to a liar, girl. Something else was bothering her. Still, Bill only said, "Do you have a better plan?"

"Yeah? Just don't do anything suspicious and make sure Gompers stays away from the shack until the agents get bored and leave."

Bill scoffed. "And if they don't get bored?"

"Why wouldn't they?"

"Why would they? This town's got gnomes, fairies, and a crashed spaceship."

"Well—yeah, but, that's not a reason to focus on the shack."

"Never underestimate what the government will chuck tax dollars at without a good reason!"

Melody huffed, "Okay, fine. I still don't like it."

Yeah, Bill bet she didn't. Especially with the Bureau of Covert Investigations here looking for someone dangerous.

Okay—he'd given the eagles enough of a head start for it to look natural when he casually bumped into them. He straightened up, stretched, and sauntered toward the museum's curtain. "I won't ask you to wish me luck—" he lifted one wrist toward Melody and shook the bracelet covered in evil eye beads that Mabel had given him, "—just don't wish me ill." And then he followed the agents into the museum.

####

"Here it is," Dale said, stopping. "What do you make of this?"

He was standing in front of the museum's taxidermy Sascrotch display.

Trigger covered his mouth, trying to hold back a snort of laughter.

Dale grinned. "It's pretty great, right?"

Powers looked the Sascrotch up and down. "I don't get it."

"Heeey, secret agent man!" Bill swept into the museum and leaned against the wall, head propped against his hand, other hand on his cocked hip. "Imagine meeting you three days in a row, what a coincidence! I'm starting to feel like you're following me around."

Powers looked at Bill—and then started a little. (Not used to seeing him with his eyes emphasized properly, no doubt.) His cheeks immediately turned pink. Flustered, he stammered awkwardly for a moment before getting out, "I—I—Pardon me, I can assure you, you're not under investigation—" Dale and Trigger exchanged a glance and tried not to grin.

"Hey, whoa! I didn't mean it in a bad way." He flashed Powers his best smile. (He'd practiced in the mirror. Mabel had given him tips on not making it too wide.) "Say, since I was lucky enough to see you again, I've got a question for you, secret agent man."

"Yes?"

Bill batted his long, gorgeous lashes at Powers. "Do you believe in love at first sight, or am I gonna have to arrange a fourth meeting?"

"Uhh." Powers's already stellar posture somehow found a way to straighten a little bit more. "The first three times were more than sufficient, ma'am."

"Haha, you charmer!" All right, maybe Mabel had had a point about not opening up with a line about eyeballs. Still, this would be a cinch. Bill had been manipulating humans for millennia, and flirting was no different. Slipping into this role felt natural. He was in his element. He was good at this. He'd have this guy eating out of his hand in an hour.

Dale and Trigger looked at each other again, and Dale said, "Sir, maybe Trigger and I should search the house. You can take the museum."

"Maybe you could interview the locals," Trigger threw in, before they beat a hasty retreat.

"Ho—hold on!" Powers said; but his agents had already abandoned him. What terrific wingmen. Not the best agents, maybe.

"Sooo," Bill said, "if you aren't here to see me, what brings you by this old dump of a tourist trap again? It can't be the displays." He tugged out the waistband of Sascrotch's briefs with a finger and let go, letting it snap back against its waist; a small cloud of dust puffed out of the fur. "Still looking for some dangerous character?"

"No, not at the moment. Nothing you need to worry about," Powers said. "We're here looking for some... sensitive objects?"

"Oh? What kind of sensitive objects?" Bill asked. "I've been to this little tourist trap a few times, maybe I can help find 'em?"

"I'm afraid I'm not at liberty to say."

"What, you don't think you can trust me?" Bill batted his lashes. That had been working pretty well for him so far. (The mascara had to be helping. Man, was he glad to have mascara again.)

Powers avoided making eye contact. "I"m sure you're very trustworthy. But—it would be an embarrassment to the bureau, you understand."

"Sure! Sure." Billl's smile wilted slightly. "Well—I'm sure you wouldn't mind if I just watch, would you? I've never seen a real federal investigation in action—seems exciting."

Powers hesitated, his professionalism warring with his very obvious crush. "I... suppose I wouldn't mind." Sure, like he wasn't utterly flattered.

As Powers's inspection took him around the museum and back into the gift shop, he said, "You said your name was Goldie? I don't think I ever got your last name."

Oh he'd better not be planning on a background check. "It's Locke—and yes, I've already heard every comment about it you can imagine."

Powers gave him a quizzical look. "I believe you told us to inform Mr. Gleeful that a 'Mr. Locke' had recommended we purchase a car from him?"

He had said that, hadn't he. If he'd known two days ago he'd have to femme up for this guy... "Sure! I happen to be related to a lot of Mr. Lockes!" Before Powers could pry into this family Bill had just invented, he hurried on: "Say, I never got your name, did I!" Did he? Since he already knew it, he couldn't remember if he'd bothered to ask.

"Of course—I'm Agent Powers."

"Is 'Agent' your first name, handsome?"

Powers flushed a little more, and he mumbled, "Manny."

"Manny Powers?" Bill casually slid between Powers and the vending machine to keep him from looking too close at it. "Like, 'manpower'?"

"Precisely," Powers said. "Obviously, that's... not my real name, just my assigned codename for field assignments."

Bill laughed, "Hey, not bad! 'Manpower,' that's pretty funny."

"Is it?" Powers asked. "Hm. It isn't supposed to be. I'll have to speak with HQ about that."

Bill pressed his lips together. Tell him he's funny, Bill! Guys love it when you tell them how funny they are! Last time hetook advice from a human on anything. He shot an exasperated look toward Melody, who winced in what he hoped was sympathy.

Trigger ducked into the gift shop. "Sir? I think we've found something. Really, this time."

Powers's attention snapped to him. "Show me."

Bill maintained his position until the agents were gone; and then he let out a long, frustrated sigh. He glanced at Melody. "How are we doing?"

She grimaced. "I'd give it... three out of five stars?"

"You're generous, I appreciate that." He nearly rubbed his eyelids in irritation, and only the sight of his red fingernails reminded him of his makeup in time to stop.

In his heart of hearts, Bill felt like he should have already won by now—but then, he'd always hated waiting for things. Usually he could force patience on himself by finding a peephole that would let him see further into the future so he could tell exactly when his latest plan would succeed. In this body, he couldn't see any farther than a few minutes, and he didn't have any eyes he could look through but his own. Like this, he didn't even know whether he'd succeed.

Except of course he would. Of course. He always did. He didn't need to check. He had until the agents left to make some real progress, and that was plenty of time. He'd figure this out.

He almost backed into the living room, remembered at the last second that he didn't want Melody to know about his door ignoring trick, and said flatly, "Door." Melody reluctantly left her station to help open it.

In the living room, Dale was standing on top of the table, which he'd dragged over in front of the TV, and attempting to pry a board out of the ceiling with a crowbar. He asked Soos, "You're sure you don't have a stepladder somewhere?"

"Uh-uh," Soos said. He was hovering in the doorway, wringing his hands together. "It's against the house rules."

"We picked up a faint radio signal," Trigger explained to Powers. "Like from a walkie-talkie with a dying battery, or..."

"Ah-ha!" Dale pulled a gray blocky object out of a space over the ceiling. It appeared to be a radio: it had an antenna, a speaker, a couple of glowing lights flickering on the brink of going out... and a large Bureau of Covert Investigations seal stamped on the front. The eagle peering through the magnifying glass seemed as surprised to see them as they were to see it. "Is... is this one of our transmitters?"

Powers blinked at it in amazement. "What in the Sam Hill is one of our transmitters doing in this building!" He directed the question toward Soos.

Soos flinched. "How should I know, I didn't know this place was bugged! I would've unbugged it if I knew." He paused. "Unless that's a federal crime or something. In which case forget I said that."

"We're the guys that oughta know about it," Dale said, shrugging cluelessly. "Since it's one of ours. Weird."

Powers held his hand out for the transmitter, examined it, and turned it over. On the back a strip of black label-maker tape read, "GOVERNMENT PROPERTY! IF LOST, PLEASE RETURN TO AGENT TRIGGER."

Powers and Dale turned to Trigger.

He looked between them, baffled. "Wh— Well, I didn't put it there! I would've remembered putting it there." He frowned. "I mean... I should remember putting it there."

Powers's lips were pressed so flat together they were almost invisible beneath his mustache. "Well. Obviously, we ought to take it back."

Tentatively, Dale asked, "And... place a new one with a fresh battery, sir?"

Powers's brows drew together in anger. Between gritted teeth, he said, "Not with the civilians listening to you say so..."

Soos was still standing in the doorway, and Dipper and Mabel were peering around him from the staircase. Melody had peeked in nervously from the gift shop. At the callout, the kids and Melody had the grace to withdraw again. But Powers wasn't looking at them. He was glancing sideways toward Bill, standing right by his side—and Bill's wide-eyed gaze never wavered from Powers's face.

This wasn't good—they did not need the agents trying to figure out why they might have left a bug in the shack. Damage control time. "Hey," Bill said. "if you forgot about it completely, must not have picked up anything interesting, right? Otherwise you'da remembered it!"

All three agents' faces immediately darkened and they exchanged meaningful looks. Bill didn't like it when people exchanged meaningful looks he didn't know the meaning of. "Apparently so," Powers muttered.

"I'll just... take this to the car," Trigger said.

Soos backed out of the way to give him room to leave, then trailed after him: "So, are there any other bugs in here we should probably know about...?"

Bill waited until Trigger was already out of the house before he said to Dale, "Hey, does he have the car keys?"

"Oh!" Dale patted his pockets, then hurried out. "Trigger, wait!"

Once his agents were gone, Powers grumbled to himself, "'Place a new one.' What happened to professionalism." He rubbed his forehead. "Find one bug that you mysteriously don't know about, and everyone forgets how to act like government agents..."

He trailed off, giving Bill an uneasy sideways glance. Bill was still staring full force at him. He cleared his throat. "You... have an incredibly penetrating gaze, ma'am."

"Thanks! Keep talking like that and maybe it'll penetrate you," Bill really wanted to say, but didn't; "flirtatious euphemisms that could be about stabbing" and "comments that put the fear of the cruel ever-watching All-Seeing Eye of God in you" were both on Bill's list of banned topics. Instead, he tried, "Thanks! You're incredibly easy to look at!"

"O-oh." Powers adjusted his tie self-consciously. Getting a little hot under the collar, huh. "Am I?"

"You bet! In fact, I was just thinking you really look like dad material."

"That's... kind of you to say," Powers said. "However, I've never liked children."

"Oh." Bill shut his eyes until the urge to turn somebody's bones into thumbtacks subsided. "Sure, that's fine. I can take 'em or leave 'em."

"Sir?" Trigger called from the doorway. "What's our next move?"

"Excuse me." Powers left Bill, heading out to join his agents on the porch.

Bill drifted out to the entryway. Mabel and Dipper were huddled on the stairs. Bill shot Mabel a pained look and hissed, "How could you have steered me so wrong?"

"Sorryyy," she whispered back. "I thought the dad one was a winner!"

"I trusted you, star girl." He slid outside behind Powers just before the door swung shut.

And just before Soos came back in, looking stricken. Dipper asked, "What happened?"

"The agent with the movie star face asked what days the museum's closed," Soos said. "I think they're thinking about searching it more? And, he told me not to leave town? I can't take this, dude." A wild look had entered his eyes. "I'm not cut out for prison. I'm too gentle-hearted!"

"Shhh." Melody took his arm and gently led him away from the door, rubbing his back. "It's gonna be all right, Soos. It sounds like the agents are distracted. Why don't we close the museum early for lunch and try looking for Gompers again, okay? Maybe he's ready to come home. And we can get some fresh air, yeah?"

"Yeah." Soos took a deep breath. "Okay. You're right." He turned toward Dipper and Mabel. "Can you dudes handle the gift shop while we're out?"

"Sure thing, Soos, no problem," Dipper said. "You go ahead."

The twins waited until they heard the sound of the gift shop exit door closing, then Dipper said, "Not it."

"Me neither," Mabel said.

"The gift shop customers can take care of themselves for a few minutes." Dipper opened the back door a crack, and they both crowded against it. Bill—leaning on the wall next to the door with his arms crossed—glanced at the kids through the crack, raised a couple fingers in acknowledgement, and then all three listened to the agents on the porch:

"Well, obviously the flash drive signal wasn't a fluke. They must have hidden it since yesterday."

"We can't leave until we find it and figure out what's happening here." (Bill made a mental note to lord that over Melody later.) "What are our next steps?"

"Should we request more sensitive equipment to scan for electronics? There might be other transmitters in the building with completely dead batteries we're not picking up." (That seemed like a fast way to discover the door hidden behind the vending machine.)

"Maybe we ought to run some more background checks on the rest of the people here. How many of them have we checked out?"

A jolt of fear shot up Bill's spine. And that seemed like a fast way to discover that "Goldie Locke" didn't legally exist. "All right," he muttered through the crack. "I tried this the human way. Now I'm doing it my way."

"Wait," Dipper hissed, "Bill, no! What are you planning?!"

Bill ignored him as he sidled up to Powers. "Not heading out already, are you?"

Powers said, "As soon as Trigger finishes updating HQ." Trigger had walked off the porch and was now making a phone call. Dale surreptitiously scooted to the other end of the porch to give Powers and Bill room to talk.

"Aww, too bad. I was enjoying watching a real investigation at work!"

"Hm. I'm afraid you didn't see us at our most competent," Powers muttered.

"Hey, everyone has an off day or two." Bill leaned closer, just near enough for his bare arm to brush Powers's suit sleeve, and murmured, "And, anyway—not to bad-mouth these rookies, but even on a bad day it's already pretty clear you're the smartest guy in the room. I can only imagine how fascinating it'd be to watch you at work when you're bringing your A game."

Powers cleared his throat, obviously trying not to look flustered. "Well. Yes. We'll no doubt be around a few more days. Perhaps we'll... cross paths again...?"

Not good. Too passive. By now, this sucker was supposed to be falling all over himself to ask out the mysterious blonde. Bill could probably ask him out and it'd go fine—but he wasn't sure how attached this guy was to traditional gender roles, there was a chance it could turn him off.

(That was the excuse he told himself. In truth, part of him was getting mad. He wanted to be the one who was asked out. He should be asked out. He was more than good enough to be asked out, and this over-evolved eukaryote had no right to deny him that.)

He pressed, "Still, I hate to see you go. Three times I've run into you, and I hardly know any more about you than I did on the beach! I get that being mysterious comes with the whole secret agent territory—but I've been going crazy, wondering all night about this handsome stranger in town." He put just the slightest emphasis on all night—and threw in a wink for good measure.

"H... have you?" Powers turned to face Bill fully. "Well... some of my personal information is classified, given the nature of my work, but—what do you want to know?"

"For starters, I think I'm overdue to ask you whether you're single!"

"I—Yes, I am."

"Whaddaya know—something we have in common!" Bill pretended he had to think a moment before saying, "Hmm... Hey, here's another fun little get-to-know-you question: what conspiracy would you most hate to be true?"

(Through the ajar crack in the door, he could hear Mabel loudly whisper, "Bill nooo...")

"That's a fascinating question. I've often wondered it myself." Powers stared off into the distance, stroking his chin thoughtfully. "I suppose... I think I'd most hate to find out the government has tried to brainwash its own citizens. Not just propaganda, mind—that's fine—I mean actual brainwashing."

No way. Bill had to pin his lips between his teeth to keep from bursting out laughing. Somebody had forgotten to tell this guy about MKUltra. Wow. Wow. He worked for the Bureau of Covert Investigations. How did he miss MKUltra. Bill had to grope behind himself for the porch sofa and sit before he lost his balance from fighting not to laugh. When he was sure he could manage a few words without a giggle escaping, he squeaked, "Yeah, that—sounds... pretty bad."

"What about yours?" Powers turned toward Bill.

He had to quickly prop his elbow on the armrest and prop his chin in his hand to hide his mouth, pretending to think. He hoped his amusement wasn't showing elsewhere on his face—human faces had too many muscles to keep track of. "Mm! Hmm." While he was trying to get his laughter under control, Bill tried to pick out one of the countless conspiracies in his repertoire that was obscure enough to be impressive but not obscure enough to be suspicious. (Or "obscure" enough Powers didn't know about it—hello, MKUltra.) "Wow, there's—there's a lot that'd be terrible. But hey, as long as we're talking politics—" (Mabel hissed "Bill NO!") "—I've heard a rumor in the area that there's a secret crazy president that was kicked out and covered up in the history books, ever heard about that one?" That oughta grab his attention.

But to Bill's surprise, Powers frowned thoughtfully and slowly shook his head. "No, it's unfamiliar. It must be a local theory," he said. "If the government were to cover up an entire presidency, I'm sure they would have a pressing reason for it—but I do see how the concept would be alarming."

Bill stared at him. Did this guy not know anything the government was up to?! He should have been going out of his mind trying to figure out how Bill knew about Trembley. Powers wasn't the kind of agent who could tell decent lies. If he did know something, he wouldn't play dumb like that; he'd just tell Bill it was "classified." Did he really not know? But the eagles' search for Trembley's remains should have nothing to do with the memories Ford wiped from the agents' minds.

The Bureau of Covert Investigations was so covert, agents usually weren't even told about other bureau investigations they weren't personally part of. So...

Was the bureau running two investigations in Gravity Falls?

Had Powers not been looped into the Trembley case?

"Uh..." Bill scrambled to think of another conspiracy that might catch Powers's interest. (He and Trigger had mentioned Hangar 618; no wonder they had time to work on cases across the country if they were only handling half the active investigations in Gravity Falls—no, focus, focus.) "How about Big Fashion, have you heard of that one? The theory that the fashion industry's teaming up to take down ways for people to get clothes other than buying new. Thrift shops, fabric stores, sewing pattern companies..."

Powers nodded. "I'm familiar with the theory." (Oh good—Bill would've been embarrassed for him if he hadn't known that one.) "I'm afraid I haven't paid close attention to the evidence for it. I already buy all my clothes new—I don't like the thought of another man's skin cells lingering on the inside of my shirts, it feels unsanitary."

It was no wonder this guy had been assigned to Gravity Falls. Bill doubted he was weird enough to really fit in here—but he was just odd enough to feel the town's pull. "For starters, there's the assassination of the president of Valhalla Sewing Machines a few years ago. Sewing machines are one of Big Fashion's top targets."

"Something definitely happened there," Powers agreed, "but all evidence points to the hit being ordered by Crooner Company over their rival line of sewing machines. They did acquire Valhalla just a few months later."

"And Crooner's been battling the bad PR ever since," Bill said dismissively. "Neither company came out of that mess looking good. It was an obvious false flag operation!"

Powers frowned, and for a moment Bill worried that he'd said too much—that Powers either thought Bill sounded like a crackpot, or thought Bill knew too much for some small town civilian... but he said, approvingly, "You know your stuff."

Jackpot. Time to go in for the kill. "I try to! I'm interested in how the gears of the universe turn. Reality, society, politics, business—what greases those wheels? Who winds the clock? There's a lot going on underneath the surface. And I like to keep my eye on all of it." He lowered his voice. "Actually, I'm glad to see you in town. I've also felt like something's going on under the surface of this town, but..." He left the sentence dangling.

Slowly, Power said, "Something... paranormal, perhaps?"

"Ha! Between the Mystery Shack here and that 'child psychic' in town, that's the reputation Gravity Falls has now," Bill said. "I'm not the kind of gullible dope to get spooked by ghost stories without proof. But—whatever's going on here... it does feel spooky."

Powers nodded slowly. "Whenever I'm in this town, I have the exact same thoughts."

Bill fought to keep the triumph off his face.

####

Dipper whispered, "I can't believe this is working."

He and Mabel were crammed against the door, one on top of each other, listening to Bill say, "This has been a fascinating conversation. I'd love to hear more about your work... wink."

Dipper said, "I can't believe this is working even though he says 'wink' out loud."

Mabels shushed him. "Bill's doing great!"

Powers said, "Unfortunately, I do have to go submit my own report to headquarters. But, I'm free this evening. If you'd like to see a movie, or...?"

Mabel gasped. "Idea!" She tapped on the door's window to catch Bill's attention, and, when he glanced her way, she pointed out toward the clearing beyond the porch.

Bill looked at the clearing and twitched in surprise. Through the crack in the door, Dipper tried to see what Bill was looking at. He couldn't see anything in the clearing.

Bill turned to Powers. "Howsabout dinner? There's a diner in town called Greasy's. I've heard good things about it! For starters, that the food is better than the name."

Dipper hissed between his teeth. "Wait, hold on—he's not allowed to go out, is he?" But Mabel didn't answer; she was sprinting full speed up the stairs.

From the far end of the porch, Dale said, "Oh, Greasy's is terrific, I went there yesterday for lunch. Makes a damn fine cup of coffee. And try the cherry pie."

"Very well," Power said. "When should I...?"

"I'll meet you at the diner. Let's say seven."

When the agents had left, Dipper yanked open the door. "What was that?! Nobody said you could actually leave to go on a date!"

Bill shrugged. "It wasn't my idea, it was your sister's."

"What?" Dipper frowned. "When did she say that?"

"She didn't. She's going to."

Mabel pounded down the stairs, counting the steps under her breath—"twenty-six, twenty-seven, twenty eight"—carrying a neon yellow posterboard folded loosely in half. She ran out the door to the clearing behind the shack, held up the posterboard—she'd written "♡ INVITE HIM TO GREASY'S ♡" in thick black marker—and announced, "Ta-da!"

"You're too late," Dipper said. "Bill already asked Powers and he already left."

Bill said, "I asked him because I saw her telling me to."

Dipper looked between Bill and the poster. "Ohhh. Hang on. This is a future sight thing?"

"Bingo."

"How long should I hold it up?" Mabel called.

"Just give it another ten seconds," Bill said. "That thing's fluorescent, I could probably see it from an hour away."

She bounced on the balls of her feet for a few more seconds, then said, "Okay!" and jogged back to the porch, beaming from ear to ear. "That was so cool."

"Hey, smart girl!" Bill caught Mabel's sleeve before she could run past him. "You know, I've been talking to humans for thousands of years, and you're the first who's ever sent a message backwards in time to me?"

"Really?" Her face lit up. "Shut up! There's no way I'm the first-first!"

"Hand on heart, Shooting Star, no other human's ever tried it," Bill said. "You can't even see the fourth dimension, but you still understand it well enough to send messages through it. I'm genuinely impressed!"

Mabel's delight reached a boiling over point. She cackled in glee, gave Bill a quick hug, and bounded into the living room, crowing, "I'M THE GREATEST!"

Bill watched Mabel zoom into the gift shop, grinning proudly; and then his eyes slid sideways to meet Dipper's. "What's that look for."

Dipper was leveling his best suspicious glare at Bill. "Oh, nothing," he said. "Just thinking about how, the last time I heard you say you were impressed, you were just manipulating me into letting you puppet my body."

"Hmm! Yeah! I did do that!" Bill said. "Did I say I was genuinely impressed?"

Dipper's scowl deepened.

Bill's smirk widened. "C'mon, kid, don't be jealous just because you're not the alpha twin. It'd make your sister feel terrible."

####

"You actually got a date?" Ford asked.

"Sure! As if it's hard!"

Stan smugly held out a hand, palm up. Ford shot him an exasperated look, but sighed, fished around in his pocket, pulled out five large one-dollar coins, and dropped them in Stan's hand.

Bill stared at Ford, brows raised. "I don't know what's more insulting: that you bet against me, or that you've stopped using paper currency." Ford didn't deign to respond.

When they had been absolutely sure the agents were gone—for now—Soos had gone downstairs to let the Stans know the coast was clear; and now the adults were gathered in the living room again to discuss their next moves. Or, rather, Bill's.

Stan said, "So there's still been no sign of Gompers?"

"Nope," Soos said. "He's really run off. Plus, me and Melo—" (at Ford's look, he corrected himself) "—Melody and I drove around earlier looking for him? You know, in case he came out of the woods somewhere? But one of the government guys started following me in a black car? Sooo we had to stop looking, and I guess we're still being watched."

"Which'll make it harder to sneak me out for my date without them noticing I live here," Bill said. Maybe they could sneak him out with the crystal flashlight trick he and Mabel had pulled before, but he'd rather not tell the other Pines how they'd pulled that off in case they ever had to do it again. "We might be able to split 'em up while we outnumber them, but if this goes on for long, they'll bring in reinforcements."

"Ford and I can't help distract them," Stan pointed out. "We've gotta stay inside. And Soos is the only one that can drive Bill to this date. With the kids' help, we've only just got enough people to split the agents up."

Ford muttered, "Meaning there's no one to keep a watch over Bill." He crossed his arms. "Letting Bill flirt with a government agent under our roof is one thing—but I don't like a plan that involves letting Bill out in public and trusting him not to throw us under the bus." (Bill had considered it, but decided it would just cause the government to seize his portal and Mabel to never speak to him again.)

"He wouldn't do that," Soos said hotly—to Bill's surprise. "He already had a chance to run away and he didn't! And if he wanted us to get in trouble, he could have just not helped at all!"

"I..." Ford looked for a moment like he wanted to protest—Bill expected him to protest—but then he grimaced, shut his mouth, and said nothing. There was an even bigger surprise. Bill wasn't actually making progress with Ford, was he? Bill stared at the side of his face, willing him to explain himself; but Ford avoided his gaze.

Stan said, "Listen, I don't like letting him out either, but I don't think we have a choice."

"All right, all right," Ford sighed. "Fine. I don't like it—but unless Gompers shows up in the next few hours, you're still our best hope of getting out of this mess." (Bill decided to pretend that was praise and spent a second basking in it.) "Which means you have to find out everything the agents currently know and suspect, keep them away from anything that could restore their memories, convince them to turn their attention away from our household without the flash drive, andmake sure no one gets arrested. And you've got one date to do it all in."

It was a tall order—but the way Ford said it like a challenge, like he thought maybe Bill couldn't do it, made Bill's blood boil. "Piece of cake! Don't forget it's taken me less time than that to convince you to do a lllot more than that." At Ford's scowl, Bill grinned viciously. "One date's all I need. By the end of the night, I'll have this whole thing figured out." If he said it like he believed it, it was basically true.

####

(The only bits of this that were changed in the wake of TBOB were adding in the discussion about the Seduction Hat; and adding a short section establishing that Powers's team is not involved with the Trembley investigation and briefly mentioning Hangar 618. In the original draft of this chapter, I'd said that a different government department was handling the Trembley case, until TBOB established otherwise. Establishing that Powers's team wasn't on the Trembley case is something that'll be important in future chapters.

From here on out the plot arc speeds up and turns increasingly into some kinda fusion between a spy drama and a reverse heist movie. Looking forward to hearing your thoughts so far and your thoughts on where it's gonna go!)

[retrob0t]

i finally pushed through my fears and watched the first 2 episodes of Ahsoka... I have thoughts™️

LA Ahsoka is still quite flat for me, sadly. Ahsoka use to be my absolute favorite character, and now I barely recognize anything about her that I use to adore. There's small, small bits and pieces here and there, but she feels so boring and emotionless at times. Is there a reason for this? I honestly cannot think of one, especially not after how quippy and sweet she was in Rebels. Not to mention, physically she just defaults to standing with her arms crossed and looking judgey. I'm hoping this can be expanded upon and maybe show us why she's now so different, but I'm nervous that there wont be any, since most of the Mando related shows & such lately has just been so devoid of any actual interesting character work. I'm not asking for much when I say I want character work, I just want her to feel like a character again, if that makes sense. 2. The music was quite good! Nothing wowed me, but I liked it! 3. Another thing that breaks my heart is just how bad Hera looks. Her eyes take me out of nearly every scene she's in. MEW is doing a decent job at Hera, but with how cakey her makeup is mixed with the contacts and rubbery lekku, it's just a bit jarring and depressing. 4. I'm also just not a fan of the makeup/prosthetics for MEW or Dawson, I honestly can't believe this is the best they could do. 5. Sabine being Ahsoka's Padawan is... is just so odd to me. Maybe as it goes on it'll make more sense and they'll tell us why Ahsoka started training her in the first place, but it's not entirely my jam. It doesn't help that I can barely remember a single line of dialogue between them in Rebels, so it feels even more out of place. 6. biggest nitpick in the world but they perfected the visual look of lightsabers in the sequels, I honestly don't understand why they decided to regress here. like legit, the blade doesn't have much energy to it. I know it's such a small thing but like, I just rewatched the sequels and man oh man did those blades look glorious. 7. My last thought because my heart can't take this and I really hate being negative, but thankfully this is like, a half positive: I adore Baylon & Shin and would absolutely read a book about them. No joke, I'm way more interested in them than Ahsoka & the gang, which makes me horrifically depressed, but at least I get some more edgy/mysterious force users to obsess over (as long as they turn out to be interesting in the end, but we only have 8 episodes, which is ALWAYS a perfect amount of time for characters to grow and develop) and they will probably be the main reason I continue to watch, just due to how rad they are. I truly wish I didn't feel so negative about these first 2 episodes, especially since Ahsoka & Hera (and Rebels) has been so precious to me for years. it just feels so blank with the returning gang. I dunno, man. maybe I'll rewatch the episodes soon and I'll probably try and stay up to date, but I'm more nervous then anything...

[makeupstudiopro1]

Achieve Flawless Skin: A Step-by-Step Guide for Using Face Concealer

While the quest for spotless, blemish-free skin has been ongoing for time immemorial, it is in this age of beauty that face concealer is used as the ultimate makeup tool. Be a novice or someone already passionate about makeup, learning to apply concealer will undoubtedly change your life while helping you achieve peak confidence levels. This definitive guide is designed to guide you in getting that sought-after flawless look.

A 3-Step Guide To Achieving A Blemish-Free Look:

Choosing Your Concealer

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Application Techniques

The magic that happens is in the application. While using concealer for face, moisturize before starting the procedure. For under-eye circles causing the problem, use gentle patting from the ring finger outward for the inner corner to create a smooth flow across the skin.

For targeted spots, there are different methods. Tap the concealer directly onto a blemish with a small brush or clean fingertip and blend edges outward. For dark circles, apply an inverted triangle shape to give a lifted, brightened effect. Don't forget to set your concealer with a light dusting of translucent powder for all-day wear.

Achieving Lasting Coverage

Good products alone are not enough to create long-lasting coverage. You also need proper techniques. So, first of all, apply a primer for a smooth base to help your concealer adhere. Layer your concealer gradually, building up where you need it instead of trying to apply a lot all at once. This helps avoid the dreadful cakey look and helps you end up with a more natural finish.

For particularly difficult areas, you may need to color correct prior to placing your concealer. Green over red neutralizes the latter, peach over darker tones on lighter skin types works to cancel those nasty circles, and orange makes a great concealer choice for darker skin tones. 

Makeup Studio Pro - Your Ultimate Concealer Solution

What really distinguishes Makeup Studio Pro is that one can see the quality of product formulation. Our concealers come in the best possible formula. Their application doesn’t look cakey and layers smoothly. For example,  Concealer Pencil is now available in flesh tones. Such an application device can only be applied directly to pinpoint areas needing special attention; this concealing is required where needed for lip line definition or sensitive areas around the eyes. 

Be it a professional makeup artist or someone who is trying to perfect his or her everyday makeup routine, our products offer the versatility and quality needed to achieve flawless results. The Camouflage Stick comes in two standard variations and contains five carefully selected shades. These palettes are game-changers for makeup enthusiasts and professionals. This ends up giving a flawless look.

Conclusion

It's not just about using the right products but understanding what your skin needs and mastering techniques that work for you. Quality products combined with proper application techniques can make anyone achieve a flawless complexion, for example, the Camouflage Stick from Makeup Studio Pro is the best concealer for dry skin. Remember that practice makes perfect, and do not be afraid to experiment with different techniques until you find what works best for you.

FAQs

Q1: How do I prevent my concealer from creasing throughout the day?

By having the right preparation and setting. Good eye cream, thin layers of concealer, and setting with a light translucent powder.

Q2: What is the best way to color-match concealer?

Apply a small amount of concealer to your jawline in natural lighting. A good color will disappear into your skin. For the under-eyes, one shade lighter than your skin tone.

Q3: How often do I need to replace my concealer?

Most concealers need to be replaced every 6-12 months after opening. Check for texture, odor, or color changes as indications it's time to swap out your product.

[yeoobin]

Make Me

You want to go out with your friends but your eight boyfriends don’t agree with your outift choice.

poly!Ateez x fem!reader

Hints of smut!! 

Word count: 2.3K

 Hongjoong and Seonghwa have daddy kinks yolo

Hope you enjoy <3

A brilliant start to the day is what you have had. Getting up after a good night’s rest, breakfast made on the table and you found a note from each of your boyfriends adorning the kitchen counter. Obviously, they had to go to the company to practice at the early hours of the day, so when you found the cute sign of affection from each of them, it made butterflies rage around in your stomach knowing they remembered to wish you a good day. Adding on to that, your friend’s birthday was today and the two of you along with some of your closest friends have been planning to go out to a club and celebrate. It's been a while not seeing them, going out and letting loose was something that you needed. However, you were not expecting your day to get slightly worse as your boyfriends came home early, not that you were upset about them coming home or are ever upset about them being around, it was what the two eldest had to say to you which was bugging you. 

Laying on the white sheets of your bed, which you have barely slept in for a while since being with the boys means sleeping in a different bed every night, usually not your own. You are on the phone to your best friend and talking about what to wear for her birthday party. Knowing you haven’t worn something that shows your body for a while made you really want to let loose. After wearing your boyfriend’s baggy shirts and hoodies for a comedically long amount of time, it's been quite a while since you've even seen the shape of your own body. 

“You remember that cute dress you bought when we were together last year? I think you should wear that, you looked so fucking hot.” the voice of your best friend echoes through your empty room. 

“Good idea! I haven’t even had a chance to wear it yet! Even the boys haven’t seen it yet.” You giggle as you get up and walk towards your closet. Your best friend is one of the very few people who know about the relationship between you and the members of Ateez, and she is one of the most supportive people you've ever met. Therefore, you never feel uncomfortable talking about the life you’re living with the boys. 

“Oh no, they are going to lose their shit, y/n.” She giggles through the phone, causing you to crack up. 

“They won’t be home until around 10 and we leave at 6 so I don't think they will even see it.” You reply to the girl on the other end of the phone. 

“Damn, I can’t believe it's almost 6, we should get ready.” 

“Okay! If I don't make it, it’s because one of the boys is not letting me go.” You joke and the both of you laugh and bid your goodbyes before hanging up the phone. 

You pull the dress out of the closet and giggle at the material, realising there really isn't much material there… 

Shrugging, you throw the dress onto your bed and walk into the bathroom to have a shower. You shave your legs, wash your body, and clean your hair. Wrapping a towel around your wet hair, your naked body walks back into the bedroom and picks up the dress laying on the sheets. Pulling on some cute lacy underwear and a matching bra, you gently pull on the fabric. Once you have successfully put it on you look at yourself in the mirror. 

You had forgotten how much this dress compliments your body. Hugging your curves in all the right places, accentuating the swell of your breasts and ass, you felt hot as fuck. The skirt of the dress stops just under your ass and your long legs are on full display. Smiling at your reflection you kneel down in front of your full-length mirror and start to put on your makeup. It's slightly flashier than your normal makeup up, but not too much that it makes your face look cakey. Finishing your makeup with setting spray, you release your hair from the towel and pull out your hairdryer. You style your hair, so it falls past your shoulders in loose curls, your bangs framing your face. 

Standing up, you take in your final appearance. You haven’t felt this sexy in a while. 

Glancing at your clock rested on the wall, you see it is 5:45. You smile and grab a pair of your favourite heels, before slipping into them and walking downstairs towards the kitchen to get a glass of water before you leave. You’re filling your glass up when all of a sudden you hear the jangling of keys come from the front door. Your head whips towards the entrance to your house and your eyes widen, realising that the boys are home early. Not wanting to spill the water, you turn your concentration back to the glass which you are filling with liquid. 

Upon hearing the door open, the sounds of your boyfriends’ voices break the silence of the house and you feel yourself physically relax. 

“Babe, we are home!” You hear Yunho yell out from the hallway.

“I’m in the kitchen!” You yell back, still focused on your water. Whilst seven of them go to hang their coats and take their shoes off, the youngest of the bunch bounds into the kitchen to find you standing next to the counter looking like an actual goddess.

“Y/n I missed you so much to-” Jongho’s eyes widen and his mouth is hung open as he is caught for words as he takes in your outfit. Looking at him confused, he raises an eyebrow and slinks over to you. 

His strong arms wrap around your waist and his takes in your frame from close up. 

“You look so beautiful baby, why are you dressed like this?” He says, his voice getting slightly deeper. You bring your arms up and rest them around his neck. 

“I’m going out to (best friend’s name)’s birthday party tonight remember?” You say and place a soft kiss on his lips. You are surprised when he pulls you back into the kiss and deepens it by pulling you closer to his body. 

“Look what we have here, Jongho’s getting all the love.” You hear a whiney voice and reluctantly pull away from Jongho’s lips. Peeping over Jongho’s shoulder and see Mingi standing in the door frame with a cute pout and crossed arms. Without looking away from you, Jongho speaks,

“Hyung, look at how our princess is dressed.” He moves his body to show your small frame on display for Mingi to take in. His pout immediately disappears, and a dark expression covers his features as his eyes rack up and down your body, making you feel slightly powerful. He also joins your side and Jongho makes space for Mingi’s large hands to trace up from your hips, to rest on your waist. Before you can pull Mingi into a kiss you hear a loud cough erupt from the open doorway, where Mingi was previously situated. You see the rest of your six boyfriends’ standing there with dark looks also covering their expression. Each of them individually checking you out with either a smirk, their mouth hanging open or an emotionless facial expression. You tilt your head to the side slightly and smile innocently at them. 

“You guys are home early.” You say in a cute voice, a stark difference to the way your body is pressed against Jongho’s and the clothing covering your skin. Or what the clothing isn't covering. 

“W-we came home because we finished everything and didn't have anything else to do,” Yeosang speaks out, stuttering slightly, his cheeks dusted with a light shade of red. 

“That’s good to hear. Well, I have to get going, it’s almost six.” You detach your body from the youngest and reach for your bag rested on the kitchen table. You are stopped abruptly when you find Jongho, Mingi and four others standing in the way of you leaving the kitchen.

“And where you do think you’re going, dressed like that doll?” San speaks up, walking behind you and wrapping his arms around your waist. Wooyoung, Yunho and Yeosang watch as San places light kisses on your neck, making you melt into his touch. 

“I’m going to (best friend’s name)’s birthday party, I told you guys yesterday.” You squeak out as San starts rubbing circles on your hips using his thumb. All six of your boyfriends around you share wide eyed glances and end up looking towards the two eldest who are situated at the kitchen island, silently watching with raised eyebrows. Looking at all of your boyfriends, you realise Hongjoong and Seonghwa share the darkest expressions out of the eight. Hongjoong and Seonghwa share a look that makes shivers go down your spine and directly to your core. They both nod at each other before standing up from their seats. The younger men make way for the older men. When they reach you, you feel utterly intimidated by all of the eight gazes laid on you. 

“I remember you saying you were going out, I don't remember you mentioning this dress, angel.” Seonghwa speaks as his eyes look up and down your body, stopping at the swell of your breasts for a second, before reaching your eyes.

Before you can explain yourself, the leader speaks up.

“You’re not going out in this.” Hongjoong deadpans, making you somewhat annoyed. He hasn’t said anything until now and it just has to be telling you what to do and not do.

“Huh? Why, I look hot?” You retort, slightly pissed.

“That’s exactly why. We don’t want anyone looking at what belongs to us.” Seonghwa replies, his eyebrows furrowing.

“It took me ages to get ready. Please move or I’m going to be late.” You try to move from San’s grasp. Yet his grasp on you tightens and you are unable to move.

“Thanks, San. Leave her to us for now guys. We will call you if we need help.” Hongjoong growls without breaking eye contact with you, making your core heat up slightly. Shaking off the arousal starting to pool in your panties, you focus on getting out of the house to see your friends. One by one the younger men leave. San leaves last with Wooyoung, “you’re with me and Wooyoung later doll, that’s if you can walk after these two are finished with you.” He whispers in your ear, placing one last kiss on your neck before walking towards the living room, where most of the guys are sitting, probably starting to watch a movie.

Your eyes follow San and Wooyoung as they leave. When they are out of sight your gaze travels back to the older males standing with their arms crossed in front of you.

“I don’t understand why I can’t go out. It’s my best friend’s birthday I should be there.” You cross your arms and furrow your eyebrows. Seonghwa lets out a scoff and looks towards Hongjoong who looks just as pissed as him.

“Listen carefully kitten. We don’t want people looking at you. There is too much on display, only we should be able to see this much.” Hongjoong says through gritted teeth.

“It’s not like I’m going out naked, this sounds like a you problem, not a me problem.” You scoff whilst rolling your eyes.

Seonghwa raises an eyebrow at your cockiness before glancing at Hongjoong, who simply nods at the older.

Seonghwa moves towards you and gently grabs your face with one hand and forces you to look at him. Hongjoong makes his way behind you and presses you against him, his arms gripping your hips harshly.

“I don’t remember teaching you to be such a brat, angel.” His voice is just above a whisper, but loud enough for you and Hongjoong to hear it.

“What do you think, Joong? I think she needs to be reminded of where she stands.”

“Hmmm I agree Hwa, she deserves to be punished.”

You are about to retort in disagreement, when Hongjoong’s lips graze your neck, instantly finding your sweet spot. You curse him in your head for knowing your body so well.

“What, were you going to say something?” Seonghwa taunts you and you immediately get ready to counterattack his words.

Hongjoong’s grip on your waist tightens, and the male speaks out, “think about what you are going to say, you don’t want your punishment to be worse now, do you kitten?”

“Now, you can either apologise to your daddies whilst you still have the chance and we will take care of you, or you are going to continue being a brat and disobey us even more?” Hongjoong’s speaks close to you his breath fanning against your neck. Daddy was a reserved name for Hongjoong and Seonghwa, the others don’t dare to try take it from them. They usually go for sir or master or other pet names. Whilst being taken care of by the two sounds like a rather nice option, it has been a while since the two men have been rough with you and you honestly wanted to see how far you could take it. Letting out a small giggle, Seonghwa’s eyes widen. Hongjoong removes himself from behind you and stands next to his teammate looking at you up and down.

“You going to apologise or what?” Seonghwa’s deep voice breaks you from your thoughts.

Making up your mind, you smirk at the two men in front of you.

“Make me.”

 What do you think? Should I make a part 2 ;-;

[trashy-greyjoy]

Sydnee’s Makeup Favorites

Before I list the actual makeup, I have very oily, acne prone skin so some of the stuff I use might not work for people with dry skin, but if I know of any alternatives I’ll try to list them! And these are just the products I personally use, so it doesn't mean they’re the absolute best.

All the products and faves are under the cut. Enjoy!

First, always remember to wash and moisturize your face before you apply anything. Even if you have oily skin (like I do) you still need to moisturize!

Prep

Moisturizer: For dry skin use a cream moisturizer and for oily skin use a gel moisturizer (they dry down matte)

I have oily skin and I use the Urban Decay Rehab Makeup Prep Hot Springs Hydrating Gel ($28)

Rose Water: it helps hydrate and protect the skin as well as minimizes pores.

Thayers and Mario Badescu are two fairly cheap and high quality brands I’ve used. ($11 and $14 respectively)

Primer: I have bigger bores around my nose and textured skin from acne scarring so I like to use a primer before foundation. It also helps my makeup stay on longer and keep see less oily.

Don’t laugh at me but I don't actually use a true “primer”.... I use Monistat Anti Chaffing Gel ($8) before my foundation. I actually heard about this from a drag queen and it’s a pretty popular dupe. It’s sooooo cheap compared to most $30 primers and since it’s designed to go around the thigh/coochie area it’s really sensitive on the skin. Fills my poor and leaves my skin super smooth.

Other decent primers I’ve used are: Smashbox Photo Finish ($36) and NYX Angel Veil ($16) but the NYX one is a little too drying and thick

Face

Foundation: I’ve used A LOT of different foundations to try to find one that works for my skin and my holy grail foundation to end all foundations is...

tarte’s amazonian clay 12-hour foundation ($39) it’s the only foundation i’ve found that lasts through the day without breaking down, covers my acne marks, and doesn't get too cakey. It’s a god send. AND tarte is natural and doesn’t have a lot of chemicals in it’s products and basically its just really good for problematic skin.

during the summer or if I'm just running out somewhere I sometimes just put on some CC cream and I use SUPEREGOOP! CC Cream Daily Correct ($32). CC cream is a really lightweight and sheer cream that color corrects (CC) so it reduces redness and dark marks without being too heavy. 

Concealer: I don't use a lot of concealer just because my foundation is usually full coverage enough to cover most of my marks and dark circles, but recently I did buy a new one and that would be

Kat Von D Lock-It Concealer Cream ($26) KVDB is really great for people who are super duper pale and and all of her face products are SUPER high coverage. So this is a really good product to highlight with.

Setting Powder / Spray: I double set my makeup because, again, I have super oily skin and I also sweat a lot, so I like my makeup to stay where it is.

I set my foundation with powder before I do any contour, blush, or highlight and I use Laura Mercier Translucent Loose Setting Powder ($23 travel size). I just dust some on my t-zone and where I used concealer to prevent creasing. (I buy the travel size and it lasts me soon long)

Then after I have everything except my highlight on, I use a setting spray to keep everything matte and in place and for that I use the Urban Decay De-Slick Oil-Control Setting Spray ($15 again in travel size). 

Contour: It’s so hard to find a cool toned contour shade that works with my pale af skin and isn’t too orange. (If you have lighter skin you want a cool/grey toned brown shade to contour because you’re trying to create extra shadows and shadows aren't warm toned.)

So, I use NYX HD Blush ($7) in the shade Taupe. It’s a blush and not a contour powder, but it’s the perfect cool toned brown for pale skin and it works just he same.

Blush: I have a few blushes that I really like

Milani Baked Blush in Luminoso ($7)

tarte amazonian clay 12-hour blush in the shades paaarty and doll face ($29)

Highlighter: ooooohhhhh boy. I love my highlighter and I have soon many favorites so hold on. I usually use a combo of 2 or more because I can't help it.

Colourpop Super Shock Cheek in Spoon and Glazed ($8) their formula is really creamy so it’s best to apply by dabbing it with your finger. 

Anastasia Beverly Hills Moon Child Glow Kit ($40). This glow kit is my child. It’s basically all cool toned duo chrome highlighters so they look holographic. Its the shit. 

Becca Shimmering Skin Perfector Pressed Highlighter ($38) in the shade Champagne Pop. This color is almost too dark for my white ass skin so I have to be really light handed.

Eyes

Brows: my babies. my prized feature. my one claim to fame. my eyebrows. It took me YEARS to master them the way they are now and I usually wear them one of 2 ways “Instagram/Sculpted” or “bushy/feathered”.  I only use one product for these puppies and that’s 

Anastasia Beverly Hills Dip Brow Pomade ($18) in the color “ash brown” and I apply with the ABH #12 brush. Watch some youtube tutorials, it’s a process. 

*then I carve them out with concealer and a tiny brush underneath and on the edges to clean it up.

Eyeshadow: I don't use eyeshadow primer beforehand, I usually just dab a tiny bit of concealer on the lid and blend it out. But for actual shadows I use a few different products.

Anastasia Beverly Hills Modern Renaissance Palette ($40) this fucking palette. So amazing. The shadows are so soft, and buttery, and bendable. And the colors are fantastic. It’s really worth the money. I use it every day. 

Morphe Single Shadows ($3 a piece) Morphe sells a lot of singles where you can buy an empty magnetic palette and build your own. They’re pretty high quality for the price and easy to customize. Plus, they change shades in and out all the time. I really like the shades: pink moscato, burlesque, weekend, and private agent.

Colourpop Super Shock Shadow ($5) like their highlighter, the shadows are single pots and have a creamy feel to them. Colourpop also recently released powder shadows, but I’ve never tried those. I really love the Super Shocks in the shades: stereo, cheap date, and game face.

Eyeliner: I only use one product for my eyeliner and it’ say absolute holy grail and that is

Kat Von D Tattoo Liner ($20) it’s a liquid liner pen, but instead of a felt tip (which I hate) it’s an actual brush with bristles. It gives such a sharp line and it’s really easy to maneuver. Also, doesn’t budge!

Mascara: I alternate between two different mascaras and those would be

Too Faced Better Than Sex ($23) it lives up to the hype.

tarte gifted amazonian clay smart mascara ($23) i like the bush on this one a lot better, its skinnier and easier to use, and gives a longer, but more natural lash

Lips

This one’s just going to be a list of all my favorite colors so just sit tight. Y'all know I'm a lipstick hoe. 

*All these are matte/semi-matte liquid lips because I overline my top lip and with my mouth shape that only works with super mattes so...

Kat Von D Everlasting Liquid Lip ($20): I love her lipsticks. They are soon matte and stay on for so long, that shit doesn't move. But can be extra drying so moisturize a few minutes before you apply. Color I love to death are...

Lolita: her most popular shade, a chestnut rosey color, great nude for medium skin tones

Nahz Fur Atoo: an ox blood, crimson red

Backstage Bambi: full on neon hot pink

Witches: black 

Colourpop Ultra Matte and Ultra Satin Lips ($6): I really love Colourpop, they’re so cheap and great quality. Damn. I love both the ultra mattes and the ultra satins. The mattes, like KVD are really matte and drying but they stay put. And the satins dry down to the kind of semi-matte of a regular tube lipstick. I’m a hoe for 

Love Bug (Ultra Matte): rich mahogany

Creeper (Ultra Matte): classic, bright red

Femme (Ultra Satin): probably my favorite lip color ever. its a really pretty muted grayish lilac color

Magic Wand (Ultra Satin): light beige nude

Hutch (Ultra Satin): a dark blackened violet

Too Faced Melted Matte Liquified Long Wear Matte Lipstick ($21): I really like this formula a lot. It’s matte and transfer proof, but it doesn't dry down as much as Kat Von D does. It feels almost like a satin lip, but it doesn't transfer or shine. Really comfortable. 

I only own one color and that’s Queen B, but I need to get some more. Granny Panties looks lovely. 

I think that’s it! Basically I love tarte, KVD, and Colourpop way too much. I hope some of you find some new products and favorites from this and that you enjoyed it! I love makeup a lot so I’m glad to share. 

I’m gonna tag a few people that asked me to do this and a few that I think might just be interested in the products: @sassamyblake @starboybellamy @bellsgirl @sapphic-kadena @ravenbellclarke @thelovelylights 

***I only use cruelty free products from company’s that don’t test on animals, so every product on this list is cruelty free to my knowledge at the time of posting.