#and I dislike the name because it's effectively forced onto me not because of anything to do with the name itself

[lilalilan]

Or I guess. I say that I have it easy comparatively, but that's not entirely true. My name has an English equivalent. I'm pretty sure most people think of them as the same, but they're not.

My name is sharp. Quick and sleek. It means innocence and purity (which I love for the irony of it all). My name is not in English.

The English version of my name is slow and clunky and round. It means nothing in and of itself, although it's derived from a different name that doesn't have a meaning to it. Even if English speakers try to say my name correctly, it's too slow, too clunky. I'd rather they call me by the different, similar, English name than butcher my actual one.

It hurts. Assimilation is a violent process when the individual doesn't want to do it, and people attempting to force my name into their version of it hurts. People claiming they know my name when it's never actually, properly left their mouth hurts. It's not my name or my culture, it's your name and your culture that I am forced to accept because you get annoyed when I tell you it's not my name and that you're saying it wrong when you try to say my name.

I hate that I have to speak your language if I want you to understand. Do you understand what it's like to be forced to translate yourself if you want to be understood, but by the fact of translation never being able to actually be understood? Do you understand what it's like to never be able to exist in your entirety around other people? Do you know what it's like to be refused something as basic as your own name, while being told that this bulbous, noxious thing is the same as your name?

[justtryingtobecreative]

Neteyam x Human Reader, Chapter 3

(Tw: Smut, Size kink)

It's a more tame chapter compared to the others, but the others are very very smutty... so there is plenty of smut in here.

First chapter linked at the bottom!

The morning after your evening with Neteyam had been suprisingly calm. You going about your business like usual and actually intending to help around with the last of the preperations. You had awoken right on time, calmly going about your morning ritual.

That is... until you stepped in front of the mirror.

Neteyam had left bruises absolutely everywhere, bright red hickeys scattered all over your neck, hand shaped marks right on your forearms, your knees chaved because of the tile, and then you didn't even mention the now familiar but still painfull ache between your legs.

He had absolutely demolished you, and you had loved every damn second of it.

You placed your hands over your eyes in shame, how in the absolute hell were you going to face him again? After he had seen you that way?

You gathered yourself quickly, grabbing another jacket to cover the marks. You would have to make do with this, even though the weather outside was way to warm for this.

It was time to face the day...

~~~

It didn't take you long to get to the rest of the clan, you meeting up with Kiri, Spider and Lo'ak to help set up the temple for the upcoming visit. Jake had put you and Spider on drape duty, the two of you tasked with gathering all the pretty pieces of cloth available to cover the tree's.

Neteyam had been forced to help Mi'ak with something again at the other side of the clearing, them both seeming to look at different colours of pillows. Although your big blue guy seemed not at all interested in the task, rather in shooting aprehensive glances toward you and the human boy instead. His face screaming 'I dislike Spider'.

You were pulled out of your thoughts when Spider called your name, his hands clutched around a blue cloth as he crouched beside the now smaller pile of drapes.

"Y/n if i sit you on my shoulders, you might be able to reach that branch. Don't you think?" Spider pointed at a nearby tree, right to where an annoyingly empty branch sat that had been taunting the both of you for too long now.

"Ugh you are totally right we need to hang one there to finish it up, but can't we just ask Neteyam to do it?" You asked uncertainly, gesturing toward your big blue guy standing a few feet away.

Spiders eyes widened as he fidgeted with his hands. "No!... i mean. No. We shouldn't bother him!" Spider said a bit too loudly, giving you an awkward smile before quickly glancing behind you.

"Uhm allright then? You sure you can hold me steady?" You asked as a frown appeared on your face. He was really acting strange today, your eyes darted toward where he was looking behind you.

There was nothing there except a locked in conversation Jake and Norm. You turned back to Spider shaking your head, it was probably nothing.

The boy smirked at you as he jokingly flexed his arm muscle. You really tried not to compare the human to his Na'vi counterpart... you kind of did anyway. "Nooo these guns can carry anything!" He said as he walked closer to you turning around so his back was angled toward you. "Now i'm gonna bend down and you have to simply put your legs over my shoulders and around my head! Allright?" He seemed strangely eager, but you again didn't comment.

You nodded, "Oh okay then, i suppose we could just do it ourselves." You relented grabbing the blue cloth and handing it to spider before taking a stand behind him.

You took an uncertain step toward him grasping onto his shoulders, "Your sure right?" You ask softly, letting out a sigh when Spider nodded.

"Okay here i go!" You say as you push yourself upwards on his back.

You jump up to place your legs over his shoulders. Suprisingly landing quite well and somehow keeping the both of you steady. "Holy fuck!" You yelped as he suddenly stood up effectively lifting you off the floor.

"See? I can totally carry you." He exclaimed with  a grin as he casually strolled toward the tree, you did notice him shake a little but didn't comment on it. Rather glad you could spend this fun moment with your friend.

"Fuck yeah! You did great!" You whoop laughing loudly.

Spider laughed as well before slowly falling silent.

"Say Y/n, can i ask you something?"

"Ye sure." You murmur more focussed on the branch.

"Norm told me they do this thing called, 'dating' on earth.. would you maybe want to.."

He was interupted as you let out a swear, almost tumbling off his shoulder. An action that had been quite on purpose, your heart dropping at his sudden question.

You really thought the two of you had agreed to atleast wait till the rest of the kids mated... you were not sure where this sudden question came from. What in the hell were you going to tell him? You really didn't want to hurt your friend.

You quickly directed his attention back to the task at hand.

You stretch your arm out as far as you could go, your fingers just touching the branch, "Shit, i can almost reach it but no way that i'm hanging it from down here,"

"Well maybe you could climb up a bit? Can you reach the branch below that one?" He seemed a bit dejected he didn't get to finish his question, but you didn't comment.

"Hm let's see.., i think i can do that." You reached toward the other branch, pulling yourself up and off Spiders shoulders before clumsily standing up on the branch.

"I'll throw the cloth toward you! Wait up!" Spider yelled as he wrapped the cloth into a ball, easily throwing it toward your form. It bounced off your head before you caught it, your balance thrown off a bit as you tried to regain your footing.

Thankfully you managed to grasp the branch above you to steady yourself. "Sorry!" Spider yelped, you giving him an annoyed glance as you finally wrap the cloth around the branch.

"Okay thank fuck that's over, does it look okay like this?" You ask as you observe the blue cloth among the others.

"I think it looks good!" Spider yelled up sticking up his thumbs.

"Okay I'm going to jump down," you yell as you slowly get down on the branch your fingers grabbing the rough bark as you dangle yourself down.

"Yes, I'll catch you down here!" Spider yelled back, you unable to see him.

"Okay! I'm letting go... now!" You yell as you release yourself from the branch, the feeling of weightlessnes filling your stomach as you fall into Spiders awaiting arms.

You feel him wrap his arms around your hips effectively steadying you, you hovering in his arms. "Wow! Good catch Spider!" You said causing the boy to blush.

He took a step back from the tree to fully let you down, his feet catching on a root. The fall instant as the both of you tumbled down on the hard dirt.

You let out a whimper as you gathered yourself, feeling spider move below you as you had landed right on top of him just seconds before. "I'm so sorry!" You murmer trying to sit up, his arms holding you in place against him.

"Uhm.... Spider? You wanna let go?" You asked confusedly, grabbing his hands on your waist to pull them off.

"Uhm... yes... just a second" He said dazedly turning red as his hands slid down to your hips. He sat up a little, moving his face toward yours. "I still need to ask you my question."

"Come on Spider i really want to get up." It seemed like he didn't hear you, his eyes zeroing in on your lips.

His fingers started digging into your skin.

You averted your head, "Miles! Let. Me. Go!" You finally shouted pushing him away harshly, him landing with his back on the floor as you shuffled to get away from him.

He seemed to gain his bearings quickly, your mind still running eighty miles an hour. It was terrifying to feel he had held you down so easily, even more because he was a friend.

He started crawling toward you, harshly startling you from your thoughts."I'm so sorry Y/n! I did not want to hurt you!" Spider said pleadingly reaching out his hand to grab your hand.

He grabbed your wrist instead, him stopping you as you again tried to leave the situation. He tried to pull you toward him, not stopping his insistant pleading "I need you to listen to me! I really..."

He didn't get a chance to finish his sentence as he was suddenly ripped off of you, him letting out a scream as he harshly landed on the ground.

"What do you think your doing?" Neteyam yelled loudly rising to his full height as he towered over the boy, Spider slowly managing to get to his feet.

"Fuck man! It was nothing, just a misunderstanding." Spider said angrily as he finally got to his feet, instantly trying to push past the tall Na'vi to get to you.

Neteyam placed a finger on the boy's chest, easily pushing him back to where he stood before. "This is my last warning." He gritted out through his teeth as he leaned down toward the boys face, his jaw clenched and an absolute livid look in his eyes as he stared Spider down.

The boy started to push past him again "Come on! Please forgive me Y/n! I didn't mean it like that!" He tried to catch your attention, you yourself trying to ignore him. Neteyam pushed him back with his whole hand now causing Spider to stumble backwards.

"I said. Back. Off." He cornered him against the tree, your big blue guy becoming more agitated by the second as the boy still didn't back down.

"Why are you coming between us? This is between me and her!" Spider yelled harshly hitting his fist on the Na'vi's stomach with all his might, suprisingly catching him offguard with his punch and managing to push him back a few steps.

This opening made a perfect opening for spider to slip through as he stumbled toward you, grasping your arm in a strong grip. His fingers digging into your skin as you tried to pull away, "Y/n come on! You know I didn't mean to hurt you!" He basically shouted in your face cornering you closer against a nearby tree.

"Your hurting my arm!" You whimpered tears appearing in your eyes.

Spider was ripped off you again you letting out a choked gasp, him getting tackled to the ground this time. Neteyam holding him down as he punched him. He was like a wild beast as he threw his fists left and right, his opponent barely able to hit him back at all.

"Hey! Stop! Guys stop!" Jake yelled in a panicked tone as he and Norm sprinted toward the two boys, harshly grabbing Neteyam as they tried to pull him off.

They had a hard time grabbing a hold on him, the eldest son in some kind of trance as the two larger men used all their strenght to pull him off.

Finally they managed to seperate them, Spider sporting a bloody nose and covered in cuts and bruises but somehow still alive. Jake held his son's face in his hands staring him right in the eyes.

"Neteyam, you are allright now." Jake said a bit unsurely as he observed the boys features.

The young Na'vi seemed like he didn't even hear his fathers words, his eyes still wild and darting around looking for something. His breath becoming heavier as his body started to shake. Suddenly his eyes found yours, and you instantly saw a bit of himself return in his eyes.

You took a deep breath, lowering yourself against a tree to gather your thoughts. You kept your mouth shut hardly able to speak at all, instead observing the situation with tired eyes.

Jake glanced behind him following his son's eyes before turning back toward him, "Neteyam?" The father and son lock eyes, "Y/n is safe,"

Neteyam let out a breath, all tension leaving his body as his father released him, patting him on the shoulder. "What happened son?" Jake finally asked, now seeming even more unsure of the situation.

Neteyam balled his fists, taking a deep breath to steady himself. "I was on the other end of the clearing just doing what you told me to do. Just looking at those damn pillows," he grit his teeth.

"I saw Spider helping her reach a high branch, he lost his balance and they fell.... then he" He took a deep breath, his body still shaking in anger. "Then he wouldn't let her go.... and everything just became a blur... i was just so Angry." He looked shaken up by his own actions, the normal Neteyam no where in sight.

Jake nodded in thought, "I understand why you attacked him.. but Spider is a sweet boy, i'm sure he didn't mean it like that" The man spoke matter of fact, as if there was no way at all Spider had done something bad. And there was no way he was going to punish him for it.

Neteyam's neutral look turned into one of disgust as he looked at his father, "You can't just let him get away with this!" His voice picked up volume. A bit of that former wildness returning in his gaze.

"Neteyam. Don't fight me on this." Jake gave his son an authorative look.

A few weeks ago Neteyam would have done exactly as his father said, he would have nodded and would have let it go instantly. Now all that showed in his eyes was deviance. "I'm not letting Spider anywhere near Y/n anymore." The boy said angrily as he walked past his father without a glance back.

"Neteyam! Stay!" Jake ordered, a frustrated edge to his voice as he looked at his normally 'perfect' son. His face was pulled into a frown, it setting into the stone mask you had seen on him countless of times.

The mask that he wore with Neteyam too often, treating his son more like a soldier than his family. He loved him, that was sure. But during the war against the humans Jake had put away a lot of his humanity, now the mask of a commander slipped on too often and too soon.

But as his son walked away from him with such confiction and anger, the man looked lost, empty alone and above all tired.

The younger Na'vi marched over to you with purpose his braids swinging around wildly and his eyes expressionless as he actively ignored his father. "Come on y/n, I'll take you home." He mumbled, sliding his arms under your form to lift you up.

Neteyam didn't spare a glance back, only whistling loudly to call his Ikran. Leaving his father in the dust with not a single second of hesitation.

~~~

It was about fifteen minutes later that you both sat comfortably in your room.

"Are you allright?" You asked softly to Neteyam who sat on your bed next to you, his hand wrapped around your waist. And his huge Na'vi form looking almost silly on your little creaky bed.

His grip was tight and reasuring,

"I think I should ask you that." He just murmured, averting his eyes. Obviously not wanting to talk about the elephant in the room yet.

"Neteyam..." you say softly giving him a knowing look.

He releases a sigh fidgeting in place, the metal springs of the bed squeeking. "Its just.. my dad." He said, a deep sadness reflected in his eyes as he stared off into space.

You layed a hand on his thigh, giving it a soft squeeze, "You don't like dissapointing him." You whisper giving him a sympathetic smile.

Neteyam turns his head toward yours, "No that's not the problem at all." He mumbled, his louder tone suprising you. before his voice grew angrier, more passionate,

"The problem, is that they hold me back every damn step of the way when it comes to you! All i want all i need... All I ache for, Is you.. And they take you away from me so often," His gaze zeroes into yours, his eyes deep and overwhelming as he moves even closer.

His arms wrap around you fully now, him pulling you onto his chest. "And i will not allow them to seperate you from me ever again." He whispered, as he stared intently into your own. His warm hand smoothly sliding under your shirt. You gasp at the feeling, lust seeping into his eyes at your reaction.

He leaned forward placing his mouth on yours in an intense kiss. "I will protect you." He mumbles between kisses, He began to get more intense, his tongue sliding into your mouth without warning. His hands grasping onto your ass as he slid your form back and forth over his waist.

You whine in agreement at the move, arching yourself against him.

You gasp at the sensitivity of your still aching core, placing your hands on his chest to steady yourself. "Neteyam," You moan out his name, letting out a startled gasp as he pushes you backwards on the bed, him hovering over you with his knee keeping your legs apart.

"I'm going to fill you again, and again, and again." He whispered in your ear kissing your neck with every word, your core tightening at his words as he reaches a hand down into your underwear. His rough blue hand rubbing soft circles on your clit, his mouth covering yours again cutting off your startled gasp.

You feel him pull your pants and underwear down in one fluid motion, your shirt following suit as he practically threw your clothes across the room effectively murdering your favourite lamp as it clattered to the floor.

Within seconds you were naked under him, his warm chest on yours as he leaned over you. You moving your hands toward his loincloth without thinking, slowly undoing the knot before sliding it off. His eyes fixed intently on your face as you did so.

You observed his cock with interest, your eyes widening as you were once again suprised at its sheer size. And it's pretty dark blue colour.

Neteyam followed your gaze down, before giving you a fond look, "Yes. take a good look my love, that is going inside you real soon." He smirked as he kissed your neck, you letting out a loud giggle as he pulled your body toward his.

"First I want to do something else." He mumbled Mischieviously, him softly kissing down your stomach.

"Uhm Teyam, where are you going?" You said squirming a bit as he leaves kisses and hickeys all over your skin slowly trailing downward.

"Just trust me.." He mumbled into your lower belly, his lips tickling your skin a little.

"Allright." You said hesitantly, forcibly relaxing your back as you laid back on your soft sheets.

You automatically shut your legs as he got closer to your core, a bit unsure of what he was going to do.

Neteyam lets out a low growl giving you a warning glance, you letting out a shaky breath at his intense gaze before slowly opening your legs for him.

"Good girl." He mumbled as he grasps onto your thighs, pulling you toward his lips in one hard stroke you just barely on the bed his hands holding your ass up as your upper body braced yourself on the bed.

He was on you before you could breathe, his tongue running right over your folds before settling on your clit. He brought your legs upwards and over his shoulders, you letting out a whimper at the sudden move.

The first pang of pleasure hit you hard, you trying to close your legs. "Oh Jesus christ. Neteyam!" You moan out his name, covering your mouth in shame.

He places his arms over your thighs, keeping them firmly apart. His tongue swirling around your entrance this time, it suddenly dipping inside of you.

"Teyam! Oh fuck." You tried and failed keeping your moans and words in, your hand clutched firmly over your mouth as he explored you with his long thick tongue. He suddenly moved upwards again, his mouth firmly over your clit as he sucked harshly.

The sound of his mouth between your legs was obscene, the slurping, moans and squelching echoeing through your room without restraint. Not to mention the creaking of your poor bed, as his large body hung you off the side of the bed. Neteyam moaned deeply into your cunt, it adding to the obscene ambience.

He remained mostly on your clit, sucking and licking at a soft pace. Your cunt clenching everytime his tongue flicks over the sensitive bud.

You felt your stomach start to tighten, the familiar feeling of an orgasm approaching faster than you expected. Your body trying to flee, failing to move even an inch away as Neteyam held your legs down.

"Neteyam, oh fuck!" Your voice was shaky and uncontrolled, him only licking faster at your moans. You let out a shaky sigh as you felt two of his fingers enter you, thrusting them in and out slowly. Only his tongue on your clit picking up pace.

The pressure in your stomach was almost unbearable, your toes curling and your legs starting to shake harshly as you got closer to the edge. Neteyam letting out a groan as your body tensed up one final time, pleasure wafting over you like a blanket.

"Oh god yes!" You moan as you let go, the delicious feeling of your orgasm filling you. Him not stopping until you fully rode out your orgasm with his head between your legs.

Neteyam finally stopped his assault on your cunt lifting up his head to look at you, "Did you like that?" He asked with a smirk on his face, you horrified as you notice your juices tainting his chin and mouth. He brought a hand up to his face wiping his mouth, his ears twitching slightly in excitement. And him spending a bit too long a time on smelling his fingers, all the while humming his satisfaction.

You covered your face in embarrasment, slightly peeking through your fingers. "Jeez Neteyam, yes. Yes i enjoyed it, now please stop sniffing your hand." You mumble softly, you pulling your knees together. His smirk faded away as a hungry look appears on his face instead.

Neteyam climbs up on the bed again, placing his knees on either side of yours as he hovers his blue lean body over yours. Him leaning down breathing into your hair before lifting his head a bit. "I want to feel you like this, for the rest of my life." He whispers as his yellow eyes stare into your own.

You really tried to remind yourself to keep him at a distance, this would likely only bring you heartbreak later. But instead of your brain speaking for you, it was your heart "I would like that too" you finally breath out,

Neteyam's eyes darken at your words, his body instinctively grinding against yours. Setting off all the nerves in your body as his member glides across your sensitive folds. He let out a shaky groan, his eyes scanning your face again.

He layed his body flush against yours, your breasts flattened against his chest as he moved himself closer. "I can feel your hard nipples against me," he murmured without warning, you almost choking on your spit at his words.

"What the fuck Neteyam!" You murmer placing your hand over your eyes.

His large hand wrapped around your arm pulling it away from your face. "You don't hide from me." He mumbled totally ignoring your words, you noticing that familiar feral spark appear in his eyes. You let out another sigh, your body shivering in anticipation.

He reached his arms around your body, cooing in your ear. "I am going to show you, exactly why you are not allowed to hide from me." He smirked at you, you feeling the bed creak at his sudden move.

Before you could prepare yourself you felt his large hands grab around your waist, your stomach fluttering at the warmth of his cock on your back. He lifted you up too easily, him easily placing you just before the edge of the bed.

"What are you..." You begin to ask softly, trying to turn your head to look at the large alien sat behind you. Your ass jiggled a bit at the hard slap delivered to your behind, you letting out a startled moan.

"Shh, look forwards." He murmured,

You instantly did what he asked, your eyes catching on the familiar sight of your closet mirror. "Oh... but why..?" You started, him intrupting your words again this time pulling your body backwards toward him. You shivered as his large hands cupped one of your boobs, his breath hitting your neck.

"Soon you will see exactly who you belong to... exactly who is mating you." Neteyam said as he moved his hand off your breast, not before giving it a squeeze and a slap. It causing tingles to form in your stomach. You let out a startled squeek, he seemed to like that.

He grasps your chin to force you to look forward, you now having no choice but to observe your reflection in detail.

It was indeed an interesting sight, him a huge alien looming over you and you a small human wrapped in his arms. His gaze fixed intently on yours, his yellow eyes deep and lust filled.

It was axhilarating.

"Do you feel that?" He murmured in your ear as you felt him place the head of his cock between your folds, you just able to let out a whimper. "I need you to say it my love. What. Do. You. Feel?" His hand slid from your chin to your throat, wrapping his fingers around it.

"I feel your..." you let out a gasp as he moved a little, "I feel..." your body tried to move forward a bit, him holding you back and against him tightly. "Oh my god. I feel you about to fill me." You finally mumble, struggling to speak as your every thought contained the feel of it sitting between your legs.

You saw him close his eyes at your words, his reflection showing the warrior you only realised recently he was. His broad shoulders, musculair build and vibrant skin a telltale sign he was the son of Jake.

Neteyam placed a warm hand on the underside of your stomach, just over your uterus. "What are you d...?," you were interupted as you felt his large member slide into you, hitting every singe nerve ending as it did so. You again tried to move forward, away from the stretch, "oOh god it's big... It is so deep.." You moaned trying to steady yourself, but failing immensely as only he held you up.

Your gaze caught on the image before you, you shaking as you now saw his large form holding you up and against him as he shoved his cock into you. He held still, and you assumed you had taken all of him.

"Neteyam.." you moaned out his name as you wiggled your hips,

He smirked above you, and you had but one second to prepare as he harshly shoved the rest of himself into you, his hips hitting your ass with a hard slap.

You let out a scream falling forward a bit, him just able to grab you before you plunged yourself of the edge of the bed. The movement sliding you off and then on his member. You both let out a groan at the sensation, him placing his arms on either side of your body to stop him from dropping his VERY heavy body on your fragile form.

You were really thankfull you didn't die while having sex with a huge blue man, especially by him landing atop of you like a whale crushing a small fish.

"Jeez Neteyam I am really not ready to become a panc...holy fuck!" He let out an uncharacteristicly deep growl as he slid out of you and slammed back in his hips hitting yours. You felt him reach right there against that little spot of pleasure inside of you. But instead of the normal quick thrusting this was brutal, you almost felt like you couldn't take it anymore. Like he finally pushed you to your breaking point.

"Be carefull, little mate" he murmured in your ear, a smile in his words. You weren't sure if he meant you possibly falling off the side of the bed or literally dying by impalement on Na'vi cock.

You really needed a second to breathe, only he didn't stop.You felt him slide out of you again, before he again slammed his hips down into yours, the harsh sound echoeing around the room. You let out a shaky groan, your voice coming out in short bursts at the strain.

The image in front of you was obscene, his huge body right behind yours as he pushed himself into you so hard you could barely think. It was almost hypnotising to observe yourself this way, hair wild, tits bouncing and your form being pushed forward and backwards on his cock.

"You feel so good" he murmured in your ear as he sped up his thrusting, you seeing a soft smile appear on his face as he gazed at the two of you in the mirror.

His hand slid up from next to you, softly placing it over your neck. "Is this okay?" He asked sweetly as he placed a little pressure,

Oh god, it was addicting that he acted so dominant. Your sweet childhood best friend replaced by this future clan leader. You looked up at him, "I want you to ruin me." You whisper, honestly quite startled at your own words the moment they got out of your mouth.

Neteyam did not at all seem to hate them.

A strange hissing sound rumbles in his chest, the vibration instantly felt on the sensitive skin of your neck. He pulled out of you, you instinctively bracing yourself as he lined himself up again. "You are so damn tight, and you are all mine aren't you?" He cooes into your ear.

You nod at his words, too far gone to even utter a single sentence, it was like every single one of your senses was overtaken by him.

"Say your mine," he murmured placing kisses on your back and shoulders, "Say you belong with me."

You opened your mouth to respond, fully ready to commit yourself to him.

"Y/n? It's me Spider, can we please talk? You both startle at the familiar voice at the door, your mind instantly drifting right back to the present.. and what had happened not too long ago.

"No." Your voice was shaky as you responded to him, your body still warm and your core fluttering around nothing.

"Please, I really didn't mean to start anything..." He mumbled, and you could just picture the sad look on his beaten face.... he had gone through so much in his life allready.

"If you don't get out of here spider, I will literally murder you." Neteyam's voice seemed very on edge, and you knew he was fuming. Not to mention the fact that the boy just ruined a perfectly good orgasm.

"Neteyam. I am so sorry to you too, I really didn't mean to hurt anyone." He pleaded softly.

You knew you would forgive spider, it really wasn't a choice. He was young and he didn't really interact much with other humans.

"Spider,.." you sigh, "I forgive you." You finally mutter closing your eyes, your mind racing at the whole messy situation.

Neteyam let out a growl, one that you dearly hoped the human boy hadn't heard.

A sigh of relief from the other side of the door, "Thank god... I'll leave you two alone now" you heard footsteps walking away from the door.

You let out a sigh, fully dropping yourself on your stomach.

"Why did you forgive him so easily?" Your big blue guy murmured in your ear, plopping himself next to you. Him placing his arm over your waist, softly drawing circles on your bare skin.

"He's gone through so much, with his dad and everything.." you rub your forehead, "I just couldn't bear bringing that boy more heartache."

Neteyam let out a sigh as well, a bit of the usual calm him appearing. "You are probably right, i was too harsh on him." He cups your face turning it toward him, his palm covering most of your neck as well. "I just.. lost myself when he hurt you. I also yelled at my father, it was all a big mess." His yellow eyes were earnest and distraught, obviously not at all happy with the situation.

He reached an arm over the side of the bed, easily grasping the metal tank to take a puff of oxygen. You tried in vain to pull your eyes away from his lean chest as the muscles strained at the movement. He had such beautifull soft skin as well, you shake yourself back to the present.

"It wasn't your fault you know, i was really glad you saved me back there." You say as you snuggle yourself in his arms, him instantly circling his arms around your body. "My hero." You whisper in his ear.

"My y/n," he murmured contently as he took in a long breath. His hands softly pulling you ontop of him, you laying flush against him.

You let out a giggle as you got comfortable on him, your hand fiddling with one of his embelished braids. His hair soft and course at the same time, the feeling entirely different than human hair.

"I sometimes lose control of my insincts around you, like a sort of primal urge that slips over me..." You startle a bit at his voice, not expecting him to speak.

"What does it want?" You ask confusedly.

"It wants to have you, breed you, mate with you to show people your mine... when it slips over me I can barely think, it's all You. You. You. I am overwhelmed with the undying need to mark you and fill you with my seed." He doesn't look embarassed at all at his shameless words, you just staring at him with wide eyes. His hand softly rubbing your lower back.

It was another eye opening moment,

There was no way he could ever tell his parents, they would force you to break up... or worse kick the both of you out if your big blue guy refused to do as they said.

"You seem lost in thoughts again," You got pulled back to the present because of his words, the warm feeling of his chest calming your nerves a bit. You just letting out a dejected sigh, and really not wanting to ruin this perfect moment by talking about very real things.

"Y/n please talk to me." He murmured nervously as his hand reached up to stroke your cheek, his yellow eyes fixed intently on yours.

"I am afraid... of what your parents will say." You mumble hiding your face in his neck.

A beat of silence as the both of you were lost in thought.

"If they try to take you from me i won't let them." The Na'vi's voice is harsh and clipped as he responds to you, his arms tightening around your body.

"You might not have a choice." You mutter as you entangle your fingers with his bigger one, his hand almost completely covering yours.

He lets out a frustrated growl before you feel his other hand cup your ass, the blue digits tentilisingly close to your entrance.

"Teyam?" You ask softly as your eyes run over his face. A dark purple flush circling his cheeks, his eyes wide and dangerous.

You breath in harshly,

You feel two of his fingers circle your still slick folds, you struggling not to moan as his fingers spread you open. You get about half a second of feeling his cock at your opening before he crudely shoves it inside, you slowly feeling every now familiar inch of the large appendage as it fills you.

It still stretched you out to impossible lenghts, but thankfully not so far you would not be able to walk tommorow. Neteyam let out a groan, his hands on your hips heavy as they push you down on him pressing your entire bodyweight and more right down on his cock. Causing him to slide even deeper, you feel the head of his cock sitting right in your stomach.

You feel your eyes close automatically as you sit up on him, your hand still enjoined with his. You lifting yourself and slowly lowering on him, his moans and whimpers filling the room as he slid in and out of you at a painstakingly slow pace.

Your chest warmed as you rode him, taking your time to truly feel him. It was simply addicting to feel him entangled with you in this way. You would do anything for this man, and you knew he would as well.

The melodic sound of bells rang in your ears, the music familiar but strange. Your chest suddenly warm and fluttering, responding to the feeling you had only felt few times before. Every single time he truly filled you, you felt a sort of string tie the both of you together.

"You are so beautifull my mate." You heard him whisper, his pace picking up.

His free arm lifted and lowered you with him on his member, grunting softly as he did so. You felt your skin tingle like fingertips drawing on your shoulders, them dragging down your body in intricate paterns and marks.

A sudden string of flashes fill your head without warning,

You let out a gasp as a million different feelings fill your mind. Feelings you felt that had certainly never been your own, but you couldn't help but recognise them at the same time. From love toward his siblings and parents, to the glee he felt while first riding his Ikran, it was absolutely magical to feel and see him so clearly.

His cock hit you hard, your thighs struggling to keep up the pace.

Your body never stilled on top of him, pleasure overwhelming your senses as he became one with you. You felt your orgasm come closer than ever before, the feeling so magnified you could barely breathe.

He was a moaning mess beneath you, groaning out your name with every thrust. His free hand alternating between bouncing you up and down and fondling your breasts.

Your eyes open on their own, light spilling your senses because of more than the usual electric lights on the ceiling. You gasp at the sight around you, pure instinct driving you to keep yourself moving.

All around you there were swirling flashes of gold and purple, the colour one you had only ever seen in the last remaining spirit tree of the temple. Your arms covered in twinkles and soft lines, your dull human skin now painted with literal star light.

Your starstruck gaze slips down toward Neteyam's, his own wonder filled eyes fixed on yours in a loving stare. The hand still clasped in yours tightened, both of you sliding against eachother in sudden desperate strokes. His voice becoming more desperate as he now softly moaned your name. "Y/n, oh you feel so tight... oh yes." His eyes were half lidded.

He sat up with you, pressing his upper body against yours as he moved you up and down on him. So that your clit rubbed his pubic bone every move he made.

You clench around him, him catching your eyes in a loving stare. And right as you are about to release he gives you that familiar smirk you had seen in him all your life, you giving your own one right back.

His body finally tenses beneath you, his seed spilling deep into your womb with another wave of light. Your eyes overtaken by him as you feel every bit of love and desire currrently in your mates head.

"Neteyam." You whimper as the fire inside your stomach suddenly becomes an blazing inferno sending you right over the edge as well. You feel yourself clench around his cock as your juices spill around him.

And right as you ride out that beautifull orgasm you feel it inside of you again. The flashes overwhelming you just as much as the first time you felt him.

You feel your heart fill up with love that is not your own, the affection unyielding and infinite. It is addicting how Neteyam's affection for you feels, and as you notice his wide yellow eyes eyes right on yours you realise he feels the exact same way about you as you do him.

You went still in his arms, your big blue guy the only one still rutting into your heat.

He was impossibly beautifull in this light, with the white spots circling his nose and his beautifull blue skin you adore, with his big yellow eyes and his broad shoulders but slender frame. He was hypnotising and you couldn't help yourself as you leant down and placed your lips on his larger ones. He smiled into the kiss, laying his forehead against yours as he gave you a satisfied smile.

No words needed to be spoken in that moment, the two of you more than content communicating by looks and touch alone.

His free arms circle around your waist, pulling you right on top of him. The steaks of light following you as you lay on his chest. Him softly fiddling with your hair string, his smile widening even more as he observes the gift he got for you right there on your person.

The golden streaks slowly fade away, the warmth around you fading with it. It did nothing to diminish the feeling of comfort around the two of you. The departing of the strange light leaves the room dark, you quickly realising the artificial light beam above you hadn't been on the entire time.

Neteyam rolls over for the oxygen tank, his breathing incredibly heavy. You feel his lips back on your skin in seconds, a smile circled there.

The dark washes away the questions for now, and you just let out a content sigh as Neteyam wraps the both of you in your blanket before pulling you tightly against his chest.

~~~

You feel a slight tickle on your cheek, unknown fingers stroking your face softly as you wake up. You crunch your nose in confusion at the strange sensation, bringing your hand to your face to rub it.

You painstakingly manage to peel open your eyes, whilst trying and failing to adjust to the bright morning light in the room.

"Good morning."

You recognise his voice before you see him, a smile slipping onto your lips.

"Good morning," You whisper as the soft smile of Neteyam laying next to you greets your vision, his braids spread around him on the pillows.

He lets out a satisfied groan as he burrows his head into your neck. His large body entangled with yours, it probably looking ridiculous from a distance as the man lay curled around you on the small bed. He feels warm and safe, your bare skin flush against his.

"This is heaven." He murmurs softly, you just nodding as you snuggle yourself into his chest.

A flash of yesterday spills into your mind, "Do you remember what happened yesterday?" You ask softly a bit unsure on if you had imagined the whole thing.

A large smile appears on his face, him taking a bit of space to look at you. You stare at him with wide eyes, you just now noticing the tiny bit of green mixed in with the yellow in his gaze.

"You know tsaheylu?" He asks softly as he reaches up a hand to stroke a strand of hair out of your face.

"Well ofcourse I do.. You guys talk about it all the time." You murmur as the feeling of doubt slips in your stomach. Was he going to tell you he would find someone who could form the bond with him?

"Well, i believe Eywa has heard us." His straight white teeth become visible as he grins even wider. He has that look on his face you had seen countless times before whilst growing up, that boyish glee that never truly left him.

"Eywa? I don't understand." You say confusedly as his words just refuse to make sense.

"Y/n." He rolls over to sit up, pulling you with him and on his chest as he lets out a laugh. "She has formed our bond!"

You stare at him in confusion.

He shakes his head in disbelief at your denseness before continueing "Those lights and that feeling. We felt exactly what the other did right in that moment. We formed tsaheylu without ever even needing a Queue."

He cradles your face between his large palms, before looking you dead in the eyes.

"Y/n we are mated."

He holds his breath as he awaits your response, a nervous glint now appearing in his eyes as he stares at your unmoving figure.

"Holy fuck" you mumble as your eyes dart around the room, before turning back to him "Really?" You ask disbelievingly as you scan his face for any signs this was all a big trick.

"I am sure." He smiles again, and this time you know it's real. You and him were mated.. for life.

You sit up on his lap, suddenly incredibly inclined to kiss his stupid face.

He lets out a startled grunt as you basically throw yourself at him, curling your legs around his waist and your arms around his neck as you basically storm him with kisses.

You kiss his cheeks, neck, forehead... and honestly everything you could reach whilst stuck to him.

He laughs again, you letting out a loud yelp as he rolls the both of you around. Totally ignoring your lopsided bed as it squeeks in distress.

"Oel ngati kameie" He murmurs, the now familiar words filling you with warmth. You savor the sight of him above you, his braids shielding you from the rest of the world and his eyes the ones you had loved for so long.

"I see you as well" You whisper softly in his ear,

You let out a loud giggle as you feel his warm lips tickle all over your neck. Him moving over your body with purpose, kissing every single bruise and hickey he left on your skin.

He lowers himself over you, staring at your face with a look that made your heart skip a beat. A look that said, i will never ever let you go again. And even though you couldn't help the fear in the back of your mind, in that moment you believed him wholeheartedly.

He nuzzles your cheek, "I can't wait to tell my skang brother straight to his face that his big brother actually got the girl" He says the words with a childfull glee.

You shake your head in disbelief, a smile circling your lips. "You two will never stop your little competitions won't you?"

He lets out a scoff placing a peck on your neck before dropping himself next to you. You feeling his fingers curl around your hand, bringing it up toward his cheek. Your fingers trail over his white stripes, his skin soft and smooth to the touch.

"I think we will never stop if Lo'ak remains so rebelious." He lets a fond sigh, leaning his head against your palm. You knew he often worried about his brother, and honestly he was right to do so. You had seen his impulsive actions way too often, he still adored his younger brother though.

"You really look out for them Teyam, I am incredibly proud of you." You murmur softly, he bristles at your compliment.

"Lo'ak still seems to think i believe i am the 'perfect son'... honestly i think my parents think that too." His eyes became a bit distant, obviously thinking about his family.

He turns on his side to fully look at you, "Do you remember that human bombing when we were around fourteen?"

You were confused about the sudden change of subject, but didn't comment. "I do" You finally whisper.

Neteyam nods, continuing. "Right after our parents had found us alive among the rubble there was this moment... a moment were we all stood in the rain, my parents stood around us. It was beautifull and the love and sheer relief that was on their faces was something i had barely ever seen before. They embraced all of us... but mom clung to kiri and dad to Lo'ak... I just kind of existed outside of that."

Your frown, placing your hand atop his shoulder. He places his hand on yours before continuing, "You would think i would be upset about that, but i wasn't." He shakes his head with a smile circling his lips. "I figured that if my parents didn't feel the need to coddle me i might finally be ready to take care of things on my own."

A beat of silence, "You never told me this at the time.." you mutter softly, no hint of judgement in your voice.

"I couldn't, I was following my father around everywhere. Everything to become a worthy adult as soon as possible."

"What was the reason you wanted to become grown up so quickly anyway? Because of your father?" You tilt your head in confusion.

"Well actually no, it was a little less than a year before that... during the attack with that thanator."

You flinch at the memory,

You and Neteyam had been goofing around exploring the forest just like you did often. Totally unaware of what was going to go down.

Neteyam had stood facing away from you, excitedly showing you a glowing plant tucked among the other vegetation. You had been interested in what the boy had to say, not really paying attention to your surroundings.

You both heard the beast way too late, the snapping branches and rustling catching both your attention too late.

You and Neteyam had seen the beast at the same time jumping straight out of your skin as the giant beast entered their clearing.

It had focused on you first, your human scent sending it into overdrive. It had snarled and patted at the ground obviously about to attack.

A few things happened all at once, Neteyam had jumped in front of you right as the beast set off and you let out a loud scream.

The formerly quiet forest was suddenly bursting with life, as the beast roughly threw your best friend to the side. You had frozen in fear slowly backing off until you bumped into a tree.

You were pinned, and Neteyam had managed to get up a few feet away. The boy had clumsily grabbed his bow and arrow and shot at the beast, missing entirely as his arrow hit the ground a few feet away.

"Y/n!" He had screamed your name in fear, trying to nock another arrow.

He had been too slow and the beast had attacked without warning, you just on time to shield yourself with your arm, the beasts teeth digging into your flesh so deep they hit bone.

You screamed out in pain.

You had heard the sound of Neytiri's call in the back of your mind, his parents obviously rushing over to safe you. Just barely able to stay awake at all as the beast was ripped away from you.

"I don't remember much of what happened afterwards, the only memory that remained the lingering fear of watching that thanatos so close to killing you." He traced two fingers over the now very faint scar on your arm.

"It wasn't your fault Teyam. You were just a child" You murmur softly,

"I know that now. But for a while afterwards all i could think about when i saw your scars was the fact that you were such a fragile being on such a dangerous planet... and I," He let out a shaky sigh, gathering himself before continuing.

"I became a warrior for you.. The only reason i ever became the man i am today is for you. I would have never let myself fall for you if i didn't feel worthy to protect you." His eyes were dark, a nostalgic glint in his eyes.

"And now here you are in my arms, safe." He tucked you right to his chest, his heartbeat steadily beating in your ear.

"You did all that for me?"

"I did"

You smush your cheek against his warm skin, "I could have never imagined you would ever love me like this." You mumble softly. "Not to mention what we have done together allready." You blush.

He nodded in thought. "I am still suprised I fit inside of you."

"Jesus christ Neteyam! You can't just say things like that!"

He laughed.

~~~

I was a little while later of just basking in eachothers arms you both finally got up to shower. It was almost concerning how sticky the both of you were. Not to mention Neteyam's sticky seed that ran out of you the moment you stood up.

But that's what you both got for going to sleep without showering.

You went to the bathroom to turn on the shower, a comfortable silence around you both. At least as long as you managed to ignore Neteyam sniffing himself, which would have been easier to do if he didn't hum to himself like last night.

"Neteyam.... please stop that smelling thing you are doing." He looked at you with a sassy look on his face, him bringing his hand toward his face one last time and taking a deep whiff whilst maintaining eye contact with you.

You stare at him horrified. "I like that your smell is all over me.. and even more that you are filled by me." He smirks before walking past your gobsmacked self.

"Are you coming?" He asked loudly.

"You are so shameless!"

You shake your head before joining him inside the too small space. "Its quite strange that you suddenly dare to say such out of pocket things." You mutter as you really try to ignore the huge dangly thing between his legs. Yes... how does that fit?

"Now that you are finally mine i am not going to waste a single second to embarrassment." He smirks at you, you startling as his soapy hands suddenly land on your skin. Him basically cornering your embarrassed self against the shower wall as he runs his hands down your body.

He spends some extra time on your breasts, "You are so soft my mate," he murmures to himself.

After he is done with you he quickly runs his hands over his own body as well, you again confused as he did so last time as well.

He notices the look on your face, "Normally Na'vi don't really wash the other at all, our woman are often quite dominant and will do it themselves."

Well that was just rude! "I am dominant." You grumble at him,

"I don't mean it as an insult.. If i am completely honest in that i kind of enjoy that you are so small."

"I am not small, you are just a freaky giant." You pout, "And what does that have to do with you washing me?"

Neteyam puts on that mischievious look again, "It's a win win, you get clean and i get to run my hands all over your body. A lot of Na'vi women would never allow that."

"I am not sure i agree with that logic but i'll let it go for now." You say as he finishes up and turns of the shower, basically herding you out the shower cabin.

God you were so glad to be clean, although you noticed Neteyam sniff himself mildly displeased. Yeah you were glad he didn't go out the door smelling like sex and you... you would never be able to look people in the eye again.

And omg you still had to have the talk about the whole "What now?" Thing. Luckily you knew you had today off.

A large towel was dropped over your head totally interupting your thoughts, you let out a huff.

"You need to get dry, I don't want you to get sick." Neteyam murmured as you heard him rustle about in your bedroom. He was such a mother hen sometimes, oh god you both would have to tell Neytiri at some point.

Wait a minute!?

"Shit! Isn't the feast tonight?" You suddenly exclaim, Neteyam letting out a startled swear from your room as loud banging starts on your door.

"Y/n? Is Neteyam there with you?" Jake's voice echoes through the room.

(Hello! I hope you liked that chapter! And please do comment and let me know if you like it, maybe share some idea's too! I find my motivation to write dwindles a lot and so some pressure to write will be appreciated;))

(Ps: Next chapter shit will hit the fan REAL quick... not to mention some really reaallyy kinky stuff.)

Chapter 4:

Chapter 1:

[ansbobcar]

will ppl kill me if i say i wrote another oc to write a fic with orter??? and it could be in the same universe as my loser=lover fic???

I swear it's because I'm addicted to those "hey let's get married out of convenience" plots and the thought of Orter getting beaten at a drinking game is funny.

HERE'S MY NEWEST MASHLE OC Y'ALL

_ _ _

GENERAL INFO:

Name: Rinka Ontarin

Other names: Rinka Onoji, Looney Vision, The Blood Cane, Bloody Sicko, The Devil's Child

Sex: Female

Age: 25

Birthday: December 5th

Blood Type: O

Height: 170cm

Weight: 68kg

Occupation: Vice head of the Magical Power Administration, Divine Visionary

House: Adler

Affiliation: Bureau of Magic (current), Easton Magic Academy (former/drop out), the Onoji Family (former)

Dominant Hand: Left

Foot size: 25cm

Good Subjects: Magic Geography, Broom Classes

Bad Subjects: Magic History, Magic Zoology

Hobbies: Drinking, Doodling

Favourite Food: Baked Sweet Potatoes

Favourite Word: “Irrational Judgement”

Favourite type of the opposite sex: “Ew.”

Dislikes: People turning back on their promises, Irrational decision making, Drunk people

Frequently visited spots: Casino, Bars

Appearance: 

She has her blonde hair up in a half ponytail with frosted lavender tips and yellow eyes. She wears black gloves and wears a grey dress shirt paired with grey pants with a muddied orange trench coat with her DV emblem (don't know what the design is pls help). Line wise, it's a singular line on her left cheek which bends like a J.

Skills/Abilities: 

Personal Magic:

Contracts - In a similar fashion to Stars and Stripes, she’s able to force laws/deals onto anything she chooses, the only restriction being the amount of magical energy she pours into one increases the potency, permenancr and serious effect of the laws/deals. Her personal magic is barely utilised because it’s absolutely demonised in her family because she caused the death of her father which was ruled to be suicide. Why would someone’s personal magic be so legally binding? It’s so backhanded but as a result of this, she’s an invaluable member of the Bureau of Magic having managed to force everyone into a vow of secrecy if they know about her magic.

Sangs - The rest of the world believes her personal magic to be blood manipulation, she is capable of manipulating her own blood internally, externally and those within a nearby vicinity.

Sangs Bindings - Blood chains

Summon:

Eris (Goddess of Discord) - If she had a summons it would be Eris. Her wand transforms into an ambiguously defined golden staffed mallet. Eris does not appear behind her in the slightest.

Equipment: 

Basic Wand - Like everyone else, she wields a basic wand, however unlike most. She doesn’t utilise a wand for her ��personal’ magic. She finds wands stupid though and only utilises it for show half the time.

Paring Knife - She draws blood quite a lot.

Family History:

Her father was a member of the Onoji, which was well known for being a part of the Bureau of Magic and producing natural 2 liner magicians.

However, when she was 4, she practically killed one of her many aunts right infront of the others by playing Old Maid as a natural 1 liner. And thus her personal magic was demonised and personally restricted to be unused, making up a new personal magic to hide the true nature of her magic.

She wasn’t completely mistreated, but by rejecting her personal magic, she felt emotionally neglected and as a result has an irrational fear of other people knowing her personal magic. Due to her mistreatment, her mother divorced while she was attending Easton Magic Academy.

WEAKNESSES:

Bloodloss/Anaemia - The moment she stops circulating her blood by solidifying it is the moment she loses a shit tonne of blood circulating in her system. Sure she may never run out of blood but it doesn’t circulate. So she’s prone to fainting through bloodloss of just lack of circulation.

Overreliance on Magic Enhancement - If she’s up against someone who can cancel her magic, she’s fucked because it’s what makes her invincible to majority of opponents.

Often forgets to keep a defensive stance- This is mostly because she has been training to be physically fit/strength being able to maintain speed under increased gravitation force.

Extra Info:

She’s a drop out from Easton Magic Academy due to lacking the funds to attend the school and her mother encouraging her to just live her life like she wants to instead of following the footsteps of what her father and the others want her aka being Divine Visionary. However, she drops out of Easton magic Academy to focus on being Divine Visionary full time.

She’s closer to Ryoh and Kaldo because they were the most welcoming of her at the time she and because as a barely 20 year old, she was placed with the Magical Power Administration of all things and the two of them helped her out. She was also the youngest Divine Visionary at the time before Rayne Ames took that record.

Ryoh and Kaldo know her true personal magic and are sworn into secrecy through it. Ryoh acts as a better father figure towards her, that’s why she’s close to him but he’s busy with his wife and kid so she feels bad to keep him away. Kaldo’s more like a brother figure for her, they’ve got the typical sibling banter.

She’s a heavy drinker and takes at least 6 hours of continuous drinking of the strongest things to get tipsy. 

PLOT IDEAS:

Orter Madl's parents want him to be engaged before he turns 24 otherwise they'll set him up with someone against his will. But obviously, this guy isn't interested in anyone even tho he's gone on like 5 dates just to get them off his radar and work.

Rinka, his trusty vice head/former head of Magical Power Admin, suggests and offers him to try dating her to solve his problem. He ends up accepting her offer after he realises his parents will literally set him up with a high schooler.

They both suck at dating though having literally gone to the bar to get drunk for the past 3 weeks and he feels miserable because she's a better drinker.

Ryoh becomes the idea man and suggests they do a picnic date but ahah... these are the heads of the magical power administration and end up having to settle a dispute between Giants and Orter is reminded of why she was called The Blood Cane as she bursts the Giant into pieces before it could attack her.

"Don't worry, now you don't have to worry about losing game."

They make stupid bets to pass the time but Orter quickly discovers her secret when her father/other aunts greet her and she ignores them without knowing what's going on.

"Do you... know them?"

"Don't even recognise their faces."

I wanna make her slowly open up to him and vice versa BUT THEN BIG PLOT TWISTS OCCUR TOWARDS THE END OF THE MASHLE CANON STORY—

_ _ _

Ye that's all.

[ohfiendangelical]

Dear Zephyr,

It feels strange to call you by this name so casually - you'll have to tell me if you dislike it. You've said before that it's a pleasant-unpleasant thing to hear it, let's see how it is on paper!

The petals are something I'll treasure - pressed between the pages of my current journal. They make me smile when I see them; when they're fully dried they'll go into my box of keepsakes along with the rest of your letters and little gifts you've given me over the years. I can't believe it's been years. Four, I think, since we met!

I do hope you're going mad. I love the sound of your dizzied voice and the promises you make me. I feel my most powerful when you subject yourself to my mercy, like a witch in the centre of a storm, forcing the sky itself to open op and pour out onto me. Hopefully the grandiosity of my feelings isn't frightening to you, as it is to so many others. You've already proven yourself as extreme with love as me, so I'm sure we'll be fine.

You'll have me again soon, I'm sure. I'm hopelessly attached, you know. In the meantime, I've enclosed a lock of my hair, perfumed with my own scents along with the pages of this letter (which I'm sure you've noticed, I do every time I write you). Hopefully it will keep you company in my absence.

All my love,

Willow x

My Willow,

First, of course you’re welcome to use my name when you write. There are certain moments, settings, where it comforts rather than unsettles, and these exchanges are one such instance. 

Secondly, your love does frighten me—but that’s part of it. Real love is always frightening, at least to some degree, and what frightens me excites me. I am enamored with anything that inspires a profound depth of feeling. This is at least in part what drives me to that madness you’re so fond of. 

It’s easy to lose myself in the tangibility of emotion. I’m sure you understand this now, after the turning. Feelings are no longer limited to the conceptual, trapped in the confines of our minds. They are a natural, physical resource, powerful and addictive, altering both mind and body. They have scents and flavors; I even sense a physical weight to them sometimes, as though they are some yet-undiscovered gaseous element. They are all around us, they are inside us. They overwhelm. 

All of that to say that love has a most intense and concentrated effect on me. When I feel it, I feel it entirely, all through my body, like an orgasmic, unceasing lightning strike. 

I feel everything this way. Perhaps this explains a few things. 

So yes, I think we should be fine. I understand you. I feel that in this way we are the same, not only because of our shared state of being but because you surrender to these experiences in the same manner. What else can we do? I don’t know how the others keep their heads, I really don’t. It must be so exhausting to close themselves off, to perform humanity even in their most private moments. 

I love you. Can you feel it now, just reading the words? I love you. I’m keeping your hair in a locket. 

Frenzied, Zeph

[frozenartscapes]

(I’m way late to this party) but this thread reminds me of a post I made a while ago theorizing that Edelgard’s negative side effects would manifest differently from Lysithea’s. Lysithea is physically weaker. She gets short of breath easily, can’t lift anything heavy, and would be overall a non-threat if she didn’t have some of the scariest magical abilities in the game. She attributes these shortfalls to her two Crests, describing them as signs of the toll both Crests are taking on her.

Edelgard, meanwhile, can one-shot dudes like, three times her size. She’s the second strongest person in the game, falling just shy of Dimitri “Routinely Snaps Spears Like Pencils” Alexandre Blaiddyd. She routinely brushes off hits from arrows, spears, and axes as the minor inconveniences that they are. And one of her signature moves on the battlefield requires her to launch a large kite shield so high into the air she has time to do a flip and bring her axe down on her unfortunate opponent’s head, only to then catch the shield as it comes back down. Needless to say, she’s doing fine physically.

(And this could actually be the Crest of Flames’ influence. Since it’s not only the Goddess’s Crest, but also a restorative one, it can be argued that it’s offsetting any negative harms to her body its presence would otherwise cause.)

HOWEVER: Crests aren’t just a physical power source - they’re connected to the soul, too. So what if Edelgard’s side effects aren’t physical, but mental?

We already know she has trouble remembering things. Granted, a lot of that can be attributed to the trauma sustained from the torture and imprisonment. But what if her memory loss was due to her dual Crests causing stress on her mind? It’s implied in Azure Gleam that pushing her body and power to the extreme when Thales forced the Hegemon transformation messed something up in her head. Following that fight, we see it’s possible to survive turning back into a human from the Hegemon but…not without consequence. The lights were on but no one was home. The more strain that gets put on her dual Crests, the more they would eat away at her mind. We see glimpses of that in Azure Moon, too, as her Hegemon form in that one took on more extreme, monstrous behaviour (and she only semi-snapped out of it when confronted by Byleth, someone she shares a connection with regardless of route because of their shared Crest).

This may also be why she takes to sketching people she cares about as a hobby (jury’s out on if the drawings are any good, but I like to think they are). She may be looking for methods to make sure she has a way to remember those individuals should anything happen to them. Continued sketching could also be a good way to school her mind into not forgetting details. I personally headcanon that she struggles to remember her siblings in life - at best, she can remember what their corpses looked like. On days when the survivor guilt and ongoing trauma rear their ugly heads, it’s possible she even forgets names.

This kind of thing would be very easy to write off as side effects from her trauma, at first. It’s normal for those who experience something deeply scarring to forget things leading up to it, and during. It’s the brain’s way of trying to heal and protect itself. But what if, as time goes on, she starts to forget a little more each day.

Which…frankly, would be her biggest fear. One of her listed dislikes is “losing control”, so the idea that she’s doomed to slowly lose herself to this thing that was grafted onto her body and soul without her consent must be utterly terrifying to deal with. That may be another reason for why she wants to push her changes through as fast as possible: she may have a relatively normal lifespan, but there will be no guarantee she’ll have her faculties for that long. It’s entirely possible that the longer she lives, the faster she’ll start to lose herself. So she needs to get Fódlan sorted out now, before things take a turn.

And maybe when it does happen she’ll just gently slip away into blissful oblivion and spend the rest of her time alive in relative carefree peace. Or maybe she’ll cling to her consciousness until the bitter end, fully aware that something is deeply wrong but there’s nothing she or anyone else can do and all these people who say they’re her family watch on like they’re witnessing the death of a loved one but that can’t be it because she’s here, she’s alive, she’s… What was her name again?

(Think Alzheimer’s, but caused by magic no human was ever meant to bear being forced into your body when you were barely a preteen.)

I can understand how "Edelgard probably isn't dying like Lysithea is" became a commonish take since the game doesn't really dwell on it, but if you look at the actual ways the game talks about having two crests I think it's pretty clear that Edelgard probably is dying.

The argument usually goes along the lines that since they were able to experiment on the Ordelia's first, that Edelgard probably received a relatively safer version of the experiments. Leaving aside the fact that those same experiments killed or otherwise incapacitated all of Edelgard's siblings so it can't have been that safe, I think focusing on the experiments themselves is missing the point a bit.

While the experiments were brutal and certainly traumatic, it's not the methods of the experimentation but the results of the experiment that are killing Lysithea. She is specifically dying because she has two crests and the human body isn't meant to hold two crests.

Which is also why anytime a character like Hanneman or Linhardt talks about saving her life, their solution is specifically about removing one of her two crests.

So with that in mind, it doesn't really matter if Edelgard got a "safer" version of the experiments (and again, this allegedly safer experiment still killed 10 of the 11 people it was performed on), because the end result of the experiments is responsible for the shortened lifespan.

And like, even aside from that you do have the Edelgard/Lysithea paired ending which specifically talks about reclaiming the years that were stolen from them, so, y'know that seems pretty clear at least.

Again, can't blame anyone for having this take because the game doesn't really talk about Edelgard's mortality. It's one of the rare cases where the game actually trusts the player to put two and two together, but I think in this instance it would probably have been smarter to explicitly address it.

[storiesforallfandoms]

stuck with you ~ machine gun kelly

word count: 2102

request?: yes!

“Ooh how about an enemies to lovers fic where Colson and the reader get stuck in an elevator together please”

description: it’s hard to keep up a petty beef when you’re stuck in an elevator with your supposed sworn enemy

pairing: machine gun kelly x female!reader

warnings: swearing, claustrophobia, panic attack

masterlist (one, two)

I don’t even know how the fight between Colson and I ever started, but I knew it was extremely prevalent even though we were forced to go on tour together.

The first big gig my band and I had ever gotten was to go on a massive tour with a bunch of other popular and legendary alt rock acts. It was sort of like Warped Tour, but under a different name. We were touring with the likes of All Time Low, Sleeping With Sirens, Pierce the Veil, etc. We were relatively unknown, so to be given this opportunity was such a big deal for all of us.

My feud with Colson had started before that. Again, I have no idea how it started. I don’t know Colson even knew. All we knew was that we hated one another, or rather we thought that we did. So when the full line up for the tour was announced, and none other than Machine Gun Kelly was on the list, I instantly regretted my decision.

“You won’t even be in contact with him,” my drummer told me after we found out the lineup. “It’s a massive tour, we have our own bus, and the likeliness that you’ll run into him in the hotel or even backstage is so small.”

“You also need to get over this stupid fight,” my bassist added. “You guys barley know one another, how can you be in a feud?”

“That’s the thing, he barley knows me and he’s ragged on me in interviews. Do you realize how much that could effect the reputation of the band?”

“You won’t even run into him,” my drummer repeated. “Just remember that.”

Well, I wish he was right, because I happened to run into Colson on our first night.

The four of us were staying in one hotel room, and in true fashion of a band on their first big tour, we bought enough alcohol to make sure we wouldn’t remember anything the next morning. I offered to go grab ice from the floor above us so we could keep everything cold, and decided taking the elevator was the best idea. The minute the doors opened, I wished I had taken the stairs.

Colson raised an eyebrow at me, glancing down at the ice bucket in my hand.

“I didn’t realize the house keeping went to get ice for the rooms,” he said.

“That wasn’t even clever. You’re starting to fall off Colson,” I said. “I’ll just take the stairs.”

“The floor is literally just one up, it won’t kill us to be in an elevator together for five seconds.”

I glared at him as I realized he was right. I let out an exaggerated sigh and stepped into the elevator, making sure to put a lot of distance between the two of us. Colson hit the button for the next floor up and the elevator doors closed.

It didn’t move.

I looked over at Colson in confusion, wondering if he was also feeling what I was. The look on his face mirrored mine, which was enough to answer my question.

He hit the floor button again, although it was already lit up. Nothing happened. He hit it again, and again, then furiously started jabbing it repeatedly.

“Stop, that’s obviously not doing anything,” I said to him.

“What else am I supposed to do?” he asked.

“I don’t know, see if the doors will open?”

He pressed the button to make the doors open, but again there was nothing. He started jabbing that one too, which resulted in me snapping at him to stop again. He opened his mouth to retort, but before he could the elevator jolted suddenly and a loud alarm rang out.

“Oh fuck,” Colson breathed. “Must be stuck.”

“Wait like...like we’re stuck in here?” I asked.

“That’s what stuck means, yes.”

I felt panic starting to rise in me. I dropped the ice bucket and started clawing at the doors, hoping to somehow pull them open. Colson put a hand on my shoulder and pulled me away.

“Hey, that’s not gonna work!” he said. “For one, you’re literally the size of a toothpick, and two, if the elevator is stuck we can’t open the doors. We’ll just have to press the help button and wait for something to happen.”

My breathing became heavier and I started to hyperventilate. I pressed my back against the back of the elevator and slid down till I was sat on the floor. I brought my knees up to my chest and hugged them tightly. I closed my eyes and tried to come down from my panic attack before it even started, but I knew it was no use. The feeling of the confined space in the elevator was baring down on me, I needed to get out of there somehow.

Colson knelt next to me and put a hand on my arm. I looked up at him but I was having a hard time focusing because of how violently I was shaking. Through my somewhat blurry vision though I could see a concerned look on his face.

“Hey,” he said, this time softer than before, “look at me. Are you claustrophobic?”

I felt like I couldn’t speak, so I just nodded instead. Colson’s eyes widened and he quickly turned back to the help button. He started jabbing at it the way he had the other buttons earlier. I was panicking too much to really care at this point. I felt like I was going to throw up, which made it lucky that the ice bucket was right next to me I guess.

“I don’t know if anyone can hear us,” Colson called, “but we’re fucking stuck in an elevator and one of us is having a panic attack! Someone get us the fuck out of here!”

I buried my head in my knees, trying to calm myself down. I tried to imagine that I wasn’t stuck in an elevator, that I was back in my hotel room with my bandmates. Unfortunately I was too far into my panic attack to calm myself down that way. My only hope was getting out of the elevator.

Colson came to sit next to me. I could feel his body close and, even though we were constantly fighting, there was just something comforting about knowing he was there with me. We sat in silence for a little bit, besides the sounds of my hyperventilating. I felt Colson’s arm move next to me, then a gentle tap on my arm. When I raised my head he was holding his phone out to me, showing me a picture of a young girl.

“That’s my daughter,” he told me. “Her name is Casie. She’s my entire world.”

“She’s beautiful,” I said, my voice very shaky.

“I don’t know what I’d do without her,” he said. “Whenever I’m having a bad mental health day, or I’m having an anxiety attack, I just think about the next time I’ll be able to see her and it helps me to calm down.”

“I didn’t even know you had a daughter,” I admitted.

“We don’t know a lot about each other.”

I nodded. “I know, I say that all the time.”

He smirked at me. “You talk about me, huh?”

I rolled my eyes. “Of course I do. We hate each other, so naturally I have to talk shit about you all the time.”

His face softened then, which shocked me a little. I had never seen him look so...well...just nice. When I wasn’t looking at him through a haze of anger from our stupid feud, he really did look...handsome.

“I don’t hate you,” he said.

“What? Of course you do. You always say shit about me, you even mentioned me in one of your songs recently in a negative way.”

“Yeah, cause I thought you hated me.”

“I don’t hate you.”

And in that moment I realized that I really didn’t. My dislike towards Colson was purely under the idea that he hated me too. I thought that was the way I was supposed to feel towards him, not the way I actually felt.

“Wait,” I said, uncurling myself from the ball I was in. “Are you telling me we’ve been fighting and having this stupid feud...and we don’t even hate each other?”

Colson awkwardly chuckled and ran a hand through his hair. “Yeah, I guess that’s exactly what happened.”

I tried to laugh too, but the elevator suddenly jolted again, which immediately brought back my panicked state. Colson wrapped his arms around me and held me against his chest, running his fingers through my hair and trying to calm me back down. Surprisingly, it worked at least a little bit.

“I’ve had a crush on you for a while, actually,” Colson admitted. When I looked up at him, even he seemed shocked by this. “I always thought you were beautiful and I wanted to get to meet you in person. But when all this fighting started, I tried to push those feelings aside and pretend like they never existed, but they’ve always been there. I think that’s why I’ve said some extra harsh things towards you, just to try and make myself believe that I really didn’t like you.”

The silence in the elevator was deafening. I pulled away from Colson to look up at him. He averted his gaze to his lap, refusing to look at me at all. I could see red creeping up his neck, embarrassment rising within him no doubt.

I had a brief moment of courage build within me, and I decided to act on it. I cupped Colson’s face in my hands and forced him to look up at me. Before I could lose my courage, I pressed my lips against his.

He hesitated at first, like he couldn’t believe this was happening, but it didn’t take him long to melt into the kiss. His hands found their way to my hips, holding them gently as our kiss became deeper and more passionate. With little effort, he lifted me from the floor onto his lap so that I was straddling him. I ran my hands through his messy blonde hair, curling my fingers into the stands at the back of his head and pulling slightly. The noise I earned from this was definitely a moan, although Colson was adamant that it wasn’t.

Before we could go much further, the elevator suddenly rattled back to life and started moving. When the doors opened again, I nearly sobbed with relief. The two of us quickly untangled from one another and stumbled out into the hallway. The air felt so fresh and my chest, which I hadn’t even realized was so tight, felt like it was opening again.

“Thank fuck,” I breathed. “I’m taking the fucking stairs.”

Colson chuckled. “Can I walk you down to your floor?”

“Aren’t you upstairs?”

“Yeah, like two floors above you I think. But I’d like to spend more time with you before we part ways.”

I smiled and agreed. We walked down the stairs together in silence, but it was a much more comfortable silence. I couldn’t wipe the smile off my face, and neither could Colson.

He walked me all the way to my hotel room door. We faced each other for another moment, just smiling at one another. It felt weird to not be fighting with him in that moment, but a good weird.

“I should get up to my room I guess,” he finally said. “I have to be up pretty early tomorrow for soundcheck.”

“Me too.”

“Maybe...we could meet up there and continue what we started in the elevator.”

Somehow my smile got even bigger. “Okay, I’d like that.”

He nodded, his face bright with excitement. He said goodnight and headed back towards the stairs. I leaned against my hotel room door, feeling like a lovesick teenager all over again.

That’s when I realized I wasn’t carrying the ice bucket. I had definitely left it in the elevator, but there was no way in hell I was going back for it. I was prepared to explain the entire story to my bandmates, who I was sure had heard the last of mine and Colson’s conversation through the door. I was expecting so many questions about why I was gone so long, why they had heard Colson outside with me, and why I was smiling like such an idiot.

But instead, they looked at me for a moment and my drummer asked, “Where’s the ice?”

[bestiesenpai]

Taker - Sukuna

Step brother Sukuna is very different from step brother Itadori. Femme reader

Part two

TW: dubcon + noncon, pseudoincest, light degradation, forced orgasm, hitting(is this even the right tag lol sukuna hits you but it’s not impact play)

Ever since your mother married Sukuna and Yujis father, your life had been different. You moved into their house, your mother took the last name Itadori, and you gained two older brothers. They were twins in fact, but they couldn’t act more different from one another.

Yuji was nice and unassuming. He and his brother helped carry your stuff to your room, but Yuji didn’t complain the whole time. Yuji was quick to help you acclimate to your new way of living and he was always there if you wanted to talk about anything and everything.

Sukuna was brash and sometimes downright mean to you. Whenever he passed you in the hall, he called you a mean nickname and bumped you in the shoulder. He spent most nights out of the house, sometimes not coming home until a few days later with soiled clothes reeking of cigarettes. Sukuna made it clear he disliked you, and he would sometimes go out of his way just to annoy you.

He’d pull your hair, trip you, mess with your food and just other childish things he knew he could get away with. He never did anything too horrible, so the most your parents could do was talk to him and it would stop for a few days before returning with just as much force. Yuji tried to help as well, but it seemed nothing would change.

Sitting on the couch in the lounge room watching a movie, you thought you were free from Sukuna. He’d just come home from another stint of being who knows where, and usually that meant he’d shower and not emerge from his room during the day. But the familiar heavy footsteps coming down the stairs said otherwise.

“Hey twerp.” He smirked as he rounded the corner and saw you. Rolling your eyes, you ignored him. He could easily get a rise out of you and you were trying to prevent it. Leaving the room quickly, he came back with a bottle of water and hovered near your seat.

“What do you want?” You groaned, feeling irritated just by his presence.

“What, I can’t see what my dumb little sister is watching?”

“Step sister.” You were quick to correct him. Yuji could call you his little sister, but Sukuna wasn’t allowed.

“Whatever. Scoot over.” Roughly pushing your shoulder, Sukuna effectively squeezed himself between you and the arm of the couch. “Jesus, you leave a guy with no room!”

“You’re not even supposed to be here!” Pushing back, you were easily overpowered by him. Attempting to scoot over, Sukunas arms wrapped around your ribs and hoisted you on his lap. “Let go!”

“Stop freaking out.” He huffed, unfazed by the elbow that landed in his chest.

“Stop it!”

“God, you’re fucking annoying.” Growing tired of your fighting, Sukuna threw an arm over yours and pinned them to your side. Hooking his legs around yours as well, he reduced your fighting to useless squirming. “Now sit fucking still.”

“Why are you even here?” Reluctantly, you relaxed your body.

“I’m just trying to bond with my little sister!”

“Step-”

“Shut the fuck up with that bullshit.” Sukuna barked, and his hand landed with a loud smack on your thigh. “If that idiot Yuji gets to call you his sister, then so do I.”

“You don’t even like me.” Rubbing the sore spot on your leg, your shoulder jerked when he rested his head on it.

“Don’t make such assumptions, you might hurt my feelings!” Squeezing you briefly, Sukuna let out a hum. “We just need to get to know each other, that’s it.” You opened your mouth to say something snarky, but a swift pinch to your side stopped you.

Huffing, you tried to focus on the TV. There wasn’t anything you could do about Sukuna now, so the next best option was to just wait until he left of his own accord. His arms around your middle loosened up at feeling you finally relaxing, and for a short moment, it felt almost normal. Sukuna even took the blanket that you’d had over you and placed it back across your legs.

“So twerp, what’s this shit about?” Nothing lasts forever.

“Just shut up and watch.”

“Ouch, who knew you were such a bitch?”

“I am not!” Forcing your body to turn, you glared at him. As soon as Sukuna saw your angry face, he laughed, a deep and hearty sound rumbling from his chest. Feeling embarrassment burn your cheeks, you turned around and tried to ignore him.

Sukuna continued to laugh at your expense with his mouth right by your ear. Swatting at him, you tried to lean forward to get away from the sound. Feeling you sliding away, Sukuna slapped a hand onto your chest and yanked you back.

“Now where do you think you’re going?” His blow knocked the air out of your lungs and his chin dug into your shoulder. Unable to answer, a strangled noise left your lips when you realized his hand had landed right on your breast.

“L-let go.”

“What’re you getting so worked up about?” Rolling his eyes, Sukuna groped your breast harder. The fabric of your bra was stopping him from really feeling anything besides the shape but it didn’t stop him from molding the flesh in his hands.

“Stop it.” You whined, and Sukuna echoed it back at you.

“Stop!” He teased you in a shrill voice. “Let go of me! Why are you even here? God you’re so annoying!” Growing bored, Sukuna put his hand under your shirt and tugged your bra down, the hot skin of his palm meeting your chest.

“Sukuna!” A shrill cry of his name echoed in the living room when he pinched your nipple harder than anyone ever has. You dug your nails into his arm to try and get him to stop, but it only made him want more.

“Shouldn’t you call me big brother?” Nuzzling his nose into your neck, Sukuna massaged your breast roughly.

“No.” Shaking your head, you squirmed on his lap. Despite the rough treatment he’d given you so far, your body was flush with heat.

“No? But then, why does Yuji get to be big brother?” Sukuna pouted and his hand stopped moving.

“Because.” Was the only word you could get out, and you received a hard tug on your nipple. “Ow!”

“Because isn’t good enough. Try again.”

“Because...Yuji is nice to me! You’re such a bully!” Kicking your feet out for emphasis, it felt good to finally say it. You and Sukuna had exchanged harsh words before, but you never said it to his face.

“A bully, huh?” Falling silent, Sukuna nodded and withdrew his hand from your shirt. Grabbing the back of your collar, he pushed and pulled you off his lap, manhandling you onto your back on the couch with him between your legs.

“Hey, what the fuck!” Slapping his chest got your hands pinned to the couch cushions. Sukuna looked at you with wide eyes and an unsettling gaze. His lips slightly parted, his tongue darted out to wet them and you saw the flashes of a tongue piercing.

“If I’m so horrible, I might as well just take what I want then.” The words barely registered in your head before Sukuna descended onto you. His lips crashed onto yours and his teeth dug into you. Forcing his tongue into your mouth, his piercing smoothed over the roof of your mouth and bumped into your teeth.

His lips were demanding, not letting you go for anything. Every time you tried to break away to breathe, Sukuna would smother you all over again. Sucking your tongue into his mouth, he smirked at the muffled screams you were making.

Breaking the kiss, he pressed his lips against your neck next. Sucking the flesh into his mouth, Sukuna was sure to leave marks you would feel for days to come, and see with the teeth marks he indented into you.

“Not so tough now, are you?” Pulling back, Sukuna chuckled at your pathetic face. Tears had gathered on your lashes and your bruised lips were quivering uncontrollably, and it only made Sukuna want you more.

Putting his lips back on yours, he let one of your wrists go to find your breast again. Giving it the same treatment as earlier, his hips rutted into yours at the feeling. He groaned into your mouth, and his breathing was obnoxiously loud as he forced the air through his nose.

Dropping his hand to your waistband, Sukuna slapped your hand when you tried to stop him, but still he let go. Pulling away from your lips, he sat up on his heels and looked down at you with a smirk. Finally free from him, you furiously wiped away the tears that had fallen on your cheeks.

“I’m gonna tell dad!” You felt so childish, so helpless, saying that. But it was the only leverage you had against him.

“Oh yeah? I’ll call him right now.” Grabbing your phone from the coffee table, Sukuna waved it over your face. “I’ll call and tell him and your mom how I fucked your stupid little ass into the couch and how you were just begging for my cock.” You stared at each other for a moment and Sukuna knew he had won even from just a few seconds of silence. Tossing your phone back on the table, he grabbed your waistband.

“Don’t!” As Sukuna tried to pull your pants down, you held onto the fabric, desperate to keep it in place. Grunting, Sukuna lifted his hand and curled it into a fist.

“Do you want me to hit you so you fucking stop, or will you be a good little sister?” He didn’t need to glare at you, or threaten you any further. Staring at his fist and the taut muscles in his arms, you knew he wouldn’t hesitate to hit you, so you let go.

“I’ll be good.” You whispered, and Sukuna yanked your pants down to your midthigh. You craned your head up and away from the man above you, and your fingers itched to cover yourself as he stared at your cunt.

“All that fight, and yet you’re wet.”

“No I’m not!” His statement made you snap your head back to him, and he quirked a brow at you.

“Don’t lie to me when the truth is right here.” With two fingers he swiped up your cunt. His fingers dipped easily into your wet folds and he presented the fingers to you. “See? You fucking wanted this all along.”

“No I-” Your protest was cut off with a hard slap to the top of your thigh. Sukuna scoffed at the surprised shout you let out and put his fingers back at your cunt, swirling around your entrance.

“Just be grateful I’m doing this much. I could just fuck you without prepping you and make you fucking bleed.” Rolling his eyes, Sukuna pressed his fingers into you. You were too tight to let him in, and when he tried to force them past the tight muscles of your cunt, you started to cry.

“Stop, Sukuna! It hurts!” Pushing and slapping his chest, your thighs quaked with the desire to close them.

“God you’re such a fucking princess.” Abandoning his attempt, Sukuna settled his fingers on your clit. Watching your face intently, he pressed down and rubbed firm circles on it. Biting your lip, you fought to keep your face neutral but he could see right past you.

Moving his fingers just a little faster, Sukuna didn’t need you to make a sound to know that you were enjoying this. Tears might have been drying on your cheeks, but every so often your thighs would twitch and you’d look at him with those scared little eyes.

Putting more force behind his fingers, Sukuna broke out into a large grin when you made a tiny sound. It was barely above a whimper, not even a complete sound, but Sukuna took it for all it was worth and then some.

“C’mon little sister, don’t hold back! If it feels good, it’s okay to moan.”

“No.” Shaking your head, you clamped your lips shut and put your hands over them, effectively stopping any sound. Narrowing his eyes, Sukuna stopped his ministrations on your clit. His finger prodded at your entrance and found that he could now slip two fingers in without the same restrictions as before.

“Try to keep quiet all you want.” He grunted, curving his fingers up and fucking them into you. He set a quick pace, the arms in his muscles flexing intensely from the effort. Pressing his thumb against your clit, Sukuna let out a soft chuckle at hearing your muffled cries.

Despite your efforts, the sounds you made could still be heard even behind your hands. Hushed cries of ‘no’ and ‘stop’ mixed in with moans that you didn’t want to be making, but the pleasure Sukuna was forcing onto you was overriding your senses. It only took a few more snaps of his wrist to get you cumming and he let out a low groan at feeling your gummy walls pulse around his fingers.

Pulling his fingers out, Sukuna turned them over in the light so you both could see the mess of your release glistening on the digits. Locking eyes with you, his tongue lolled out of his mouth and he made a show of swiping his fingers across it and sucking on them.

“I can’t wait to feel you on my cock.” Hurriedly he undid his pants. Sukunas cock slapped against his stomach and you pushed on his chest again. The length and girth of his cock scared you, it was much bigger than the few fingers you stuffed inside yourself late at night.

“No, it won’t fit!”

“I’ll make it fit.” Wrapping a hand around his cock, he pumped it once before leaning in.

“Sukuna, stop!” You tried in vain to cover yourself, to stop him from trying to put the tip of his cock into you, but it only earned you a pinch on the arm.

“Maybe if you call me big brother, I won’t stick it in.”

“I-” The words caught in your throat, and your eyes roamed the room in thought. Unable to make full eye contact with him, you settled your eyes on his chest. “Big brother, stop it.”

“Nice try.” Yanking your hands away, Sukuna lined his cock up and pushed it in all the way. A shriek sounded from your chest and your hands scrambled to find something to hold onto, something to ground you in this moment. Catching onto his back, you raked your nails down his skin.

“But you said-”

“I didn’t guarantee shit.” He nearly shouted in your ear, his forehead pressed against the cushion. Sniffles and tears couldn’t be stopped now and you turned into a blubbering mess underneath him. Pulling back slightly, Sukuna gave you a blank stare.

“Why are you crying like such a baby?” Rolling his eyes, he grabbed your chin and made you look at him. “Tell me. Tell your big brother.”

“Y-you said yo-you wouldn’t! And it h-hurts!” Letting go of you, your head turned to the side. There was a large wet patch forming from your tears, and the sharp stinging between your legs refused to dissipate.

“You just have to get used to it, that’s all. Big brother's cock will make you feel good, promise.” Sinking his hands into the couch, Sukuna pulled his cock out gradually and pushed it back in. Your nails continued to almost draw blood on him and every thrust back in wasn’t making anything better.

“Su-”

“Aht, call me big brother or I’ll pound your ass.” His sharp glare stopped you in your tracks, and one of your hands dropped to wipe at your puffy eyes.

“Bi-big brother, please, it hurts too much.” Giving you a mocking pitying look, Sukuna put a hand between your bodies and found your clit again.

“Fucking princess.” He snarled, roughly rubbing your clit. It sent sparks of pleasure through your body and your tears stopped falling after a bit. Taking a few deep, shuddering breaths, you were able to relax around him.

Feeling your nails release him, Sukuna began to slowly hump you. He didn’t take his cock out nearly as much, opting for small little thrusts that didn’t feel like anything at all really, but he didn’t want you to keep crying and making so much noise. His thrusts remained short, and it wasn’t until you let out a sigh that he was able to really get into it.

Putting both hands on the couch, Sukuna drew his cock out further and slapped his hips into yours. The yelp you made sent a shiver down Sukunas spine.

The impatience he’d been holding back was finally coming forward, and Sukuna set a brutal pace from the beginning. Forcing you to split open on his cock, Sukuna couldn’t care less about if it hurt now or if he was going too fast for you. The only thing in his head was fucking you into the couch so deep that every time you passed by or sat down, you’d think of this moment.

“-other, brother!” You cried, and your nails were back to digging into his skin.

“What?”

“Too fast, please-”

“Stop fucking whining.” He snapped, and he lightly slapped your cheeks. “Just take my fucking cock and shut up.” Grabbing onto your face he squished your cheeks together and forced your lips apart. Gathering the saliva in his mouth, Sukuna held his tongue out and watched it drip down and into your mouth. Forcing his tongue into your mouth shortly after, he mixed your spit together and pulled his lips away, watching strings of saliva still connecting you together.

Rocking your hips together, shame trickled into the back of your head at what you were doing. There was no way you wanted this to happen, Sukuna had forced himself onto you, but you couldn’t deny that you were enjoying it now.

“Big brother! Thi- ah, fuck - this is wrong!”

“Oh, you’re gonna tell me what’s right and wrong?” Slowing his hips down to a stop, Sukuna sneered at you. “You, who’s fucking impaled on my cock and creaming all over me.”

“We shouldn’t be doing this.” You pressed, ignoring his words even though they burned you with humiliation.

“I gave you an out earlier, didn’t I? With your stupid little phone.” Starting up again, somehow he moved faster than before. “Didn’t I? But you didn’t take it!”

“I-”

“You wanted this to happen, so cut the bullshit out! You wanted me to split you open on my cock, and now that I am you can’t fucking handle it.” Broken yelps and moans flowed past your lips at his rough treatment, full sentences unable to form from the onslaught.

Your back was beginning to burn from constantly rubbing against the cushions and so was your ass. The imprint of the fabric would be stuck on you for days, your skin being nearly rubbed raw.

“Cum, I’m gonna-” You gasped, feeling the beginnings of your orgasm start to build. Sukuna made a noise in the back of his throat, and dropped to his elbows above you.

“Gonna cum from big brothers cock?” His voice wavered, the only indication he could be close too.

“Yes!” Nodding frantically, you gasped when he grabbed your ass and angled your hips further up. “Big brother!” Squealing at the new angle, your feet dug into his lower back. Sukunas back bowed with the effort he was putting forth and even though his body begged for a break, he refused.

“Say you love your big brother's cock!” He demanded, and you were more than happy to oblige.

“I-I love my big brother's cock!” Nearly sobbing, you fell over the edge. Your head pushed back hard against the couch cushions as you came, a long drawn out moan coming from your mouth.

“Fuck, fuck-” Gritting his teeth, Sukunas thrusts stuttered, and he ground his hips into you as he came. His lips found yours, a frenzied kiss to go with the euphoric feeling of shooting his cum deep inside you, the tip of his cock kissing your womb. He coated your walls with his cum and you milked him for everything he was worth.

The house was deafeningly silent compared to the loud sounds you’d just been making. Breaking the kiss, Sukuna pushed his face into the cushions, and the only noise between you two was heavy breathing. Taking your nails out of his back and letting your legs fall down, your whole body ached from the ordeal.

“What a good little sister I have.” Sukuna mumbled against your ear, and he gave your cheek a kiss before sitting up again. “Oh, excuse me. Step sister.”

[yesimwriting]

Crossing lines

General Kirigan/the darkling x reader

Summary: This was requested by my friend @vvsdiamond28 who also writes and has a really good kirigan x reader story up right now! The request was basically for a fic in which the reader is out wandering at night and runs into kirigan while he’s in the banya and then they get to talking and some other stuff before he admits to only trusting the reader and giving her his real name. This gets kinda steamy bc of the request and bc the story called for it lol but it’s not full smut bc i decided that it would be better to do that as a part 2 so that i could add some jealousy tension haha

a/n i think im back?? Ive been working on requests a lot and ive really enjoyed writing regularly again. A small side note, after rewatching revenge of the sith im kinda in the mood to try writing an anakin fic 😭 pls he was my OG fictional crush,, so either send help or a request for him or something, Anyways,, back to this fic--ahh i had fun writing it but i still feel awkward writing steamier stuff so be nice!! 

-- 

Those that wander in the night, lost in uneasy thought--there’s probably a lot that can be said about them. But I can’t think of anything to be said about me. Nothing good comes from walking around a place full of powerful and tense people in the middle of the night. It wouldn’t take much effort to interpret my actions as suspicious, and yet I continue forward. I’m an idiot--just because I can’t sleep doesn’t mean I have to wander around campgrounds. My presence is barely tolerated here, I shouldn’t try backstroking in waters I can barely tread. 

But still, I walk, eyes more fixated on the open night sky than anything else. The moon is as full as an overflowing glass, the stars twinkling as if desperate to compete with a light it will never be able to duplicate. I sigh, pressing my lips together. Maybe the stars and I have more in common than I thought. Normally, that would be a good thing. 

Letting out a weary breath, I continue forward, away from the relative safety of the main tents. I’m still on the grounds, I’m approaching the border where the tents of higher ranking officials are. That should make me more nervous, but if anything it almost eases me slightly. 

General Kirigan is not the type to be friendly, and yet our interactions have always been laced with a touch of intimacy I can’t quite explain. We’ve been alone together more and more frequently, and I think that’s how I like him best. It’s strange, but when we’re alone some of his sharpness dulls, leaving space for something I might consider humor or actual personality on anyone else. He probably speaks to many girls like that when they’re alone together--a fact I have to fight to remind myself of--but it’s the closest thing to friendship I have here. Maybe it’s foolish to hold onto that, but I can’t bring myself to release my grip on those sentiments. At least not yet, when the kind moments are still rare and fleeting and no line has been crossed. 

The danger, however, comes from the prospect of not recognizing lines before they’re crossed. Even now, as I walk aimlessly in the night, pacing in hopes of exhausting my thoughts, I’m crossing lines in a much more literal way and even these are ill defined. I must be in new territory now, and even that I can only vaguely recognize because of the strangely humid scent that surrounds this area of the grounds. 

I’m near the banya. I didn’t intend to wander here, but the thought of splashing water on my face is too tempting to pass up on. I move closer, finding a sense of peace in having some direction, even in a small way. 

When the promise of water is only steps away, I begin to regret everything. There’s a figure in the bath. I freeze, ready to attempt to shrink away in hopes of disappearing before I’m caught. This could easily turn extremely awkward even though I technically haven’t done anything. Most people don’t bathe at this hour. Who bathes this late at night? 

I keep my eyes on the individual, trying to make out who they are and how aware they are of their surroundings in the dim light. Pale skin, dark hair--unbelievably attractive torso. My eyes linger there longer than they should. I force my gaze upwards, towards their face as if that can erase my ogling. Embarrassment leaves my face burning--I’m not the ‘ogling’ type, and this person doesn’t even know I’m here. I keep my eyes on them as I step back, taking in unaware features as best I can in the dark. 

I know them--I--Saints, it’s Kirigan. 

Fantastic. Of course he has to be even more impossibly attractive while shirtless and wet. I turn my head upwards sharply, more desperate to not be caught than ever. I would never, ever recover from being caught. Whether he’d tease me or be angry with me, I don’t know. I also don’t know which option I’d prefer. 

I step back again, my gait wider due to my urgency. Snap. The sound of both a twig and my chance of a stealthy escape being shattered. I cringe, craning my neck to the left in a desperate attempt to make it clear that I wasn’t watching him. I take another desperate step, ready to duck behind a nearby tree. Maybe he hasn’t seen me--maybe he’s distracted and assumed that some kind of rabbit or something passed by. He may not actively dislike me, but I’m not sure any semblance of favor he may have for me extends to this situation.

“Y/n.” His tone reveals nothing but his level of certainty. Ignoring him will only make me seem guilty. 

I pause, keeping my gaze off of him. “Yes.” It wasn’t really a question, and yet I still answer it like one. “I was--I couldn’t sleep so I thought I’d get some air, and I was walking kind of aimlessly and I ended up here and I didn’t think anyone would be here.” Why do I feel like I’m making this situation worse? “I’m sorry--I’m gonna--I’m going to go now.” This is the kind of embarrassing moment that will come back to me when I’m trying to fall asleep at night. I know it.

“You know the polite thing to do after intruding is to make eye contact.” 

I don’t think my face has ever felt this warm before. At least he doesn’t sound angry, but his voice doesn’t reveal that much. I raise my gaze carefully, turning my head slowly. “I didn’t mean,” I exhale slowly, “It wasn’t my intention to intrude.” 

He straightens slightly at my words, exposing more of his chest. I stay still, eyes trained on his to avoid an accidental lapse. “You could make it up to me by offering conversation.” Kirigan’s tone is deliberate, his words measured and calm. I don’t speak, feeling like I’m being presented a test I don’t understand, but most of our conversations leave me feeling like that. “Only if you’re comfortable.” 

And just like that, I’m backed into a corner. A challenge. To deny him now would be to expose the effect he has on me. My chin raises a fraction of an inch as I take in that assured half-smirk. “Why wouldn’t I be comfortable?” 

Kirigan arches a dark brow, assessing my response. “Then sit,” his voice has not changed, “You want air and I want company.” 

I don’t think anyone that looks as good as he does shirtless has ever had trouble finding company, especially with the smooth way he speaks. Despite this, I step forward to accept his challenge without calling him out on his coyness. Each step is the crossing of another invisible line until I’m near the water’s edge. I make sure to keep my nightgown at a respectable length as I sit down. 

I make a point of extending my legs towards the water while leaning back so that I can’t be easily accused of being a coward. “I feel the need to warn you that I might not make particularly interesting company.”

He angles his head to the side slightly, drawing attention to his jawline and neck. I force my stare to focus on the water. “I’ve never found you uninteresting.” 

There’s something resigned in the way he says this. On instinct, I look up, taking in the slight softening of his features. The release of his usual sternness only adds to his beauty, a fact that I’m already resenting. 

“You may be the only one.” It’s not meant to be a deprecating comment, but I’m not sure my partial laugh softens my bitterness. I hope it does--I’d rather his interest than the interest of my entire unit. 

Kirigan shifts forward, the water moving with him. “Do you think that any coldness you’re experiencing has to do with you?” 

The question has me drawing my eyebrows together. What else could it be? I shrug, “I’ve considered it.” 

He nods once, eyes hardening slightly. “Do you always have trouble sleeping?” 

The personalness of the question shouldn’t surprise me as much as it does. Kirigan seems to only understand boundaries when he’s the one setting them. “Not really.” A partial lie--this time I’m glad I can’t quite bring myself to look at him. “It’s not uncommon for me, but it’s not something I deal with every night.” 

I risk shifting my eyeline when I hear the sound of water moving. Kirigan’s now resting an arm on the rim of the pool, wet skin dangerously close to my ankle and lower calf. “It’s not always easy,” his voice is low now, “Being alone with your thoughts.” 

That’s not the kind of reply I’d expect from him. I blink twice before turning to study his expression. I don’t think I’ve ever seen him seem so tired--so weary and human and in need of something. The line between his eyebrows and the far off quality of his eyes leave me with the strong desire to give whatever it is he needs to him. The urge to reach out, to touch him in hopes of breaking him free from his odd trance leaves my stomach knotted. That line is too clear to cross so recklessly.

I need to chase away the serious atmosphere he’s created. “Is that why you bathe so late at night?” I let myself smile, “To avoid thoughts?” 

“I like the peace of it.” Something akin to amusement touches his words. “And for the record, little dove,” the nickname is pointed and earns him an eyeroll, “The warm water doesn’t exactly chase away thoughts so much as encourages others.” He pauses. “You understand, considering you can barely look at me.”

This is the most embarrassing thing to have ever happened. The suggestive jilt to his words has to be intentional. Damn him. I turn my head, forcing myself to meet his gaze. “I can look at you just fine.” 

“And if I were a Heartrender and could hear your heartbeat your pulse would be normal?” The question is teasing, a small smile pulling at his lips. 

The warmth in my face increases, spreading down my neck. Kirigan’s expression remains smug. “You’re not as funny as you think you are.” 

“No?” He leans forward, angling his head so close to me I can faintly feel the warmth of his breath on my lower calf. “I find myself amusing.” 

At least being around him like this is getting easier. I open my mouth, ready to provide some sarcastic comment I haven’t thought out yet. My mouth clamps shut on instinct when I feel his touch on my ankle. The faint contact quickly grows, his fingers brushing up my ankle and calf, leaving drops of cool water across my skin.

“What are you doing?” That’s a--a fair question, right? I’m not sure, rational thought slipping from me more and more with each passing second. 

“Nothing, really,” his reply is quick. “Nervous?” 

There is no way he doesn’t know what he’s doing. I roll my eyes, fighting against my instinctual fluster. “No,” a full lie, “You’re just getting me wet.” 

“Barely.” When he’s not busy being brooding he’s not much better than an irritating child. He retracts his hand slowly, fingers grazing my skin slowly as he submerges his hand beneath the water. The loss of contact should feel like a victory. It doesn’t. “Y/n,” he shifts closer, back straightening.

There’s an odd seriousness to his demeanor that almost leaves me reeling. “Yes?” 

He beckons me forward. I hesitate, but comply, letting myself shift closer to the water’s edge. Kirgan’s lips part, but no words leave him before he moves his arm, purposefully splashing water over my thighs and bottom of my nightgown. I let out an instinctively annoyed sound. “That is getting you wet.” 

“Kirigan!” My tone is as menacing as I can make it, but he continues to grin. There’s such a lightness to the look I almost forget to be annoyed. Almost. “I should tell the entire Second Army how much of a child you are.” 

My threat does nothing, his smile softening without fading. “They fear me too much for your stories to make a difference.” He says this flatly. “All of them except you.” 

I don’t know if I’m supposed to make something of that comment. A brief moment passes in which I think his eyes come close to softening. Maybe that’s a side effect of seeing the world as you want. Wait...what do I want? Him? No, no, I can’t. 

Okay, he’s objectively attractive and sometimes I think I may see more depth in him than he wants to be capable of. But that doesn’t mean I’m allowed to want anything with him. Even if he was trustworthy enough for me to be with him in any capacity...even casually, it could never happen. Nothing good could come from having relations with the highest ranked general and I doubt he’d ever want me like that. He likes to fluster people and I’m an easy target. I just accept it because being some level of entertainment to him is better than being nothing to everyone. 

“I don’t think there’s much point in fear.” It feels like a fair answer. The fairest answer I can manage, anyways. 

He sighs, the sound heavy. His hand stretches forward cautiously. I watch him and make no attempt to stop him from touching my lower calf. His fingers trace absentmindedly across the skin. “Of course you’d think that.” 

Again, I don’t know what to make of his words. Or his actions. He couldn’t find anything wrong with me just slightly adjusting my position. It’d be a polite way to remind us both of the natural order of things. But then again, someone like him is allowed to be mad about anything. And I’m not sure I want to remind us of our place. 

Actually, I’m completely sure that I want the opposite of that. But admitting that to myself is enough of a risk. I’ve already crossed thousands of tiny lines and what I want will require us to cross a thousand more. 

“I’m a little surprised you’re not reminding me how foolish a notion like that can be.” 

He lets out a tiny breath as he shifts even closer to me. “Maybe I’m enjoying your foolishness.” 

“I’m not sure if I should take that as a compliment or the opposite.” 

The slightest hint of a smile is visible to me beneath the moon’s glow. There’s something about darkness that adds beauty to things. I wait for him to reply, but instead of speaking his  hand moves further up my leg. I struggle to hide my reaction to his long fingers trailing up my skin.

He’s touched me before, sure. Tiny moments in which he’d push a strand of hair out of my face or wipe at a bit of dirt on my cheekbone. More recently, he had gripped my hip firmly to guide me through a crowd of soldiers. He had been in a hurry, stealing me from a conversation with the only member of my unit that’s been somewhat friendly to me. It wasn’t serious--he had just been rushing me because he only had a minute between meetings and apparently he had too long of a day to not take a moment to speak with me. 

“Are you alright, Dovey?” Normally, the nickname and all of its variations earns him an eyeroll. But everything is a lot less humorous with his hand half up my lower leg, leaving a trail of cool water wherever he touches. 

His fingers press more firmly into my skin. “Yes, I’m fine--it’s just late.” 

“Hm…” Kirigan breathes before tilting his head slightly. “You’re warm.” I stay silent as his hand shifts slightly. “Perhaps too warm.” 

If I’m hot that has absolutely nothing to do with fever. “I’m fine, General, I promise.” 

“Come closer,” he says, “It’ll take me no time to check.” 

...A little too convenient. My nightgown is still embarrassingly damp from the last time I eased tonight. “Please tell me you don’t find me that naive.” 

“Naive? No.” He lifts his hand slightly. “Warm? Yes.” I still don’t trust him. “I’m not going to do anything. I promise.” 

His eyes are dark and the limited lighting of the moon doesn’t offer me much in my analysis, but what I can see makes him seem genuine. “Why do I feel like that’s not the first time you’ve had to say that?” Despite my comment, I move towards him. 

The back of Kirigan’s palm is pressed to my forehead for less than a second. He brushes his hand down the side of my temple, rotating his wrist so that his fingertips can touch my cheek. His hand then continues to move down my jawline and then my neck...and then finally trails down my collarbone. I bite my tongue to avoid exhaling audibly at the contact. 

“Warm,” he concludes with a tsk, and yet he doesn’t withdraw his hand. “Though that could just have to do with the climate.” His thumb slips beneath the sleeve of my nightgown. “Perhaps you could benefit from joining me.” 

I bite my tongue to avoid letting out a surprised, embarrassingly enthusiastic squeak. I don’t know what’s gotten into him...maybe it’s the night air and the prospect of being fully alone. I should be strong enough to break whatever spell he’s starting to place on me. But I’m not. I’m really, really not. 

He pulls on the sleeve of my nightgown slightly. “I’m…” 

“Unless you’re nervous?” Another damn challenge. To shy away from this would be to expose myself. He tugs on the sleeve a little more assuredly, exposing my shoulder to the humid night. “Do I make you nervous?” 

His voice comes out a shallow rasp. I feel it straight in my core. “...Not more than you should.” 

“More than I should?” 

Ugh--too honest. I let myself get distracted. It shouldn’t be too difficult to explain what I meant. He knows he’s feared. He wants to be feared. “I’m sure we’re both aware that there are a fair amount of cautionary tales revolving around you.” 

His hand falls next to my lap. Oh? I didn’t expect to miss the contact between us so much. His expression seems to have fallen slightly as well. Was it my response to his question? It felt fair and straightforward without being too blunt. “And you believe every cautionary tale you hear?” 

There’s something stiff about the way he asks the question. His moodiness is making me miss his touchiness even more. At least then I didn’t have to feel like I made a mistake. Did I say something wrong? “Should I?”

“It depends on whether or not you plan on being brave.” 

“I told you...I don’t see much point in fear.” 

“And yet you’re still there.” A bit of humor returns to his voice. “Why is that?” 

Rolling my eyes, I shift forward, letting my legs dip into the water. This is as far as I should let this go. I’ve already lost too much more control. “Better?” He’s strangely tense again, a hint of something bitter playing at the smug look he tries for. “You alright?”

“Of course you’d ask me that.” He says this with a tired sigh. “You can never make things easy.” 

“I don’t understand.” 

He shifts backwards slightly. I can feel the distance between us like I’d feel a pebble in my shoe. “Do you believe all the stories about me?” 

Is he still bothered by that? “I didn’t mean it as literally as you’re taking it. All I meant is that people are intimidated by you, but that’s not a bad thing. It’s the way things have to be, you’re the only Shadow Summoner in existence and the army needs you to be intimidating so that they can act on your guidance.”

“The way things have to be,” he echoes, his voice strangely weighted. “There’s a specific kind of loneliness that comes with being feared by everyone.” 

Oh--I don’t know what I expected, but it wasn’t that. I don’t think I’ve ever seen him feel defeated like that. I reach for his hand without thinking, pulling his fingers towards my lap. “I don’t--I’m not scared of you.” It’s a weak attempt to comfort him, but it’s the only one I can think of. “That probably doesn’t mean anything, but I--” 

His hand turns in my lap, squeezing the exposed part of my thigh. “It means something.” Kirigan’s voice has hardened in a different way. “You’re the only person I’m certain of.” 

Everything in me seems to tighten at that. At the implication of something so personal from someone so closed off. “Kirigan, you don’t have to be as alone as you feel. You talk to me all the time and you do so in a way that makes it easy to forget the cautionary tales.” His hand moves further up my thigh. I fight as I try to remember our usual dynamic. “You’re the only one that talks to me like that.” 

“Have you ever considered that maybe the others refuse to take to you because of the favor I’ve shown you? The instinct to stay away from me is strong enough to extend to those around me.” Kirigan’s hand moves higher up my thigh. “To be near me is to involve solitude.” 

“I don’t care.” The answer leaves me too quickly. “Being near you is worth it.” 

He leans closer before resting his chin on my knee with no hesitation. “Careful, you don’t understand the line you tread.” Kirigan places his hand more firmly between my thighs. “Or perhaps you do...perhaps you know what you want to cross.” 

This time I can’t help the airy sigh that leaves me. Kirigan pushes against my thigh slightly, separating my legs. I feel his breath on my inner thigh before I know what’s going on. I can’t move, I can’t think, I can’t even breathe. That inability to do anything but feel my heart pound against my chest only worsens as I feel his lips press into the inside of my thigh. His lips trail up my skin before his teeth gently sink into the top of my thigh. 

“Is the line you want to cross?” He breathes the question so softly I feel like I’m being coddled. Everything in me feels too hot to think of any kind of coherent response. Kirigan uses his free hand to pull the fabric of my nightgown as high up my thighs as he can from his position below me. “Or maybe this is the line you want to cross?” Kirigan pulls me forward so suddenly I let out a tiny gasp. I’m not fully on the edge of the banya. “Or perhaps this one?” He kisses the skin of my inner thigh gently. Each time I exhale too loudly, his teeth graze my skin. He gets harsher with each passing second. “Lay down.” 

My body listens to him on instinct. How is this happening? How am I this powerless to fight against something that’s so clearly wrong? The sound of water shifting causes my entire body to tense. He’s pulled himself out of the water. Kirigan moves above me instantly, water dripping from his toned chest and dark hair and onto my still damp nightgown. 

Before I can speak, he’s on me completely, his lips pressing against my jaw. He kisses down my neck, his teeth grazing against my skin sporadically. He pulls away from me by tracing his tongue across my collar bone. I let out something dangerously close to a moan. “Such pretty, little sounds.” 

“Kirigan--” 

“The only name I want you to hear from your lips is the only name that I’ve not given myself. The only name that holds meaning to me.” 

His lips graze where my skin meets the hem of my now soaked through nightgown. I’m not sure the poor lighting is offering me enough coverage now. There’s no way the thin fabric leaves much to the imagination while being this wet. He kisses up my chest and neck until his lips reach the shell of my ear. 

“Aleksander.” The name is grace in the form of a breath so soft it’s more like I’m feeling the name than actually hearing it. 

He presses his lips against the spot on my neck directly beneath my ear. I exhale into the contact. “Aleksander.” As I test his true name on my tongue, his teeth dig into my skin much more harshly than before. 

I let out a partial squeak at the sudden shift in pace as his hands grip my waist. “Say it again. Say my name again.”

He traces his tongue gingerly over the skin he just aggravated with his teeth before I can speak. The soothing sensation is so much I can barely find my voice. “Aleksander.” 

His hand bunches the bottom of my nightgown, raising the fabric to my hips. “...Say it just like that.” Kirgan’s rough hand slips between the bone of my hip and the fabric of my hip. “Like I’m the only one that knows you like this.”

“Aleksander.” I breathe as he traces invisible patterns into my skin with his lips. “Aleksander.” Each use of his name earns me extra attention--a stronger hold on my hip, a more adamant nip at the base of my neck. I feel my need for him so heavily I swear it’s leaked into my bones. “Aleksander.”

When he pulls away, I fight the urge to whine. The night is still humid, but with the absence of his touch I feel like I’m shivering. He regards me silently for a long moment before shifting his weight again. I feel my heart stall in my chest as his hand softly brushes a strand of hair out of my face. He lets his hand linger there, at the apple of my cheek. The entire world seems to stall as he leans down, his hand cupping the side of my face as his mouth inches closer to mine. 

“I can feel the fluttering of your heart.” 

Any poor defense dies in my throat as his lips meet mine. He gives me no time to think about what’s happening as he presses into me even harder. Kirigan holds my face as his teeth graze against my bottom lip. My mouth opens slightly in surprise, giving him the opportunity he needs to slip his tongue into my mouth. His tongue slowly brushes against mine, coaxing me into total, delirious, compliance. When he starts to pull away, I react, my hands flying forward to grab his hair. He lets me get away with tugging him towards me, prolonging the kiss as he bites my bottom lip. 

One of his hands leaves my face and travels up the hands holding onto his hair. He pulls me off of him easily, pinning both of my wrists above my head with one hand. “Easy,” Kirigan warns, “You’ve been such a good girl, let’s not ruin it before we’ve started.” 

A tiny sigh leaves me. I can feel the pride he takes in that as his hand trails further down my body. His fingers ghost along the hem of my underwear teasingly. 

“Is someone there?” I’ve never damned the voice of a stranger more. 

Panic and dread roll in my stomach. I’m going to get caught like this, with my nightgown bunched at my hips beneath the General Kirigan. An unclothed, wet, General Kirigan. “I’m bathing.” 

Okay...good...Aleksander spoke. Anyone with common sense would run at the thought of invading on Kirgan’s privacy. It’s a good thing that the soldier had the sense to linger behind a thicket of bushes. “Pardon General, but there’s been a crucial development. A new strategy should be thought of as soon as possible.” 

No. No. The thought of losing contact so entirely, of having a moment that should have never happened be ripped from me before it’s even really happened is overwhelming. I feel my lips pull into a pout. Kirigan’s hand adjusts on me, his thumb pressing teasingly over where I’m neediest. I bite my tongue to avoid making an inappropriate noise. 

“Five minutes--I’ll be in the strategy tent in five minutes.” 

“I’ll tell the others, General.”

Great. I hear the stranger disappear, his feet crushing twigs and grass as he leaves us. Aleksander’s attention returns to me quickly. Disappointment swells in my chest as I take in the solemn look that crosses his features. His hand moves to my chin quickly before pulling me into another deep kiss. It’s too short lived. 

“I have to go.” 

Frowning, I lift my hand to trace my fingers up his arm. It’s softer than I should allow myself to be, but it doesn’t really matter anymore. Not when this is probably never going to happen again. “Do you?” I mumble to myself, half joking.

He sighs once, his thumb brushing against my cheek. “No pouting.” 

Now that whatever little bubble we were in has popped, I’m capable of normal feelings. Including shame. “I am n--” 

“Easy, little dove, I’ll remember all of this when I find you again.” 

This...this is going to happen again? “You’re going to find me?” 

“I haven’t yet heard your voice crack on my name as I undo you.” He punctuates the promise with a kiss to my jaw. “Again.” Another kiss. “And again.” Another brush of his lips as he finally pulls away. “And again.” 

My breath catches itself in my throat as he moves off of me entirely. Damn whatever change in the war that’s pulled him away from me so suddenly. I sit up as he stands. I’m not sure where to look now that he’s not in close enough proximity to cloud my thoughts. I should leave as he dresses, but I can’t quite bring myself to. It doesn’t feel safe, not when the man that interrupted us could reappear at any moment. Not when I want to hold onto his presence like this as long as possible. 

 He squeezes my shoulder warmly as he passes before bending down to press one more kiss next to where his hand is. 

“Soon,” he promises again. 

--

General taglist: @theincredibledeadlyviper, @grishaverse7 @benbarnes-supremacy  @tranquilitymoon @kaitlyn2907 @lunamyangel @christinawxxx @deceivedeer @real-mbappe @tonks33

[gladerwolfstarkimagines]

Unlikely friends: Imagine being Toph’s cousin and befriending Azula, much to the gang’s horror and confusion as it starts to become something more...

Note: The is loosely based on the comic the search which takes place after the tv show ended

Part two here

part three here

Your pov

You’d never been exposed to Azula much. Of course you knew who she was, everyone in the four nations did, but you’d never met her face to face. You only joined the gang after Zuko was firelord and so the first time you met her was when Zuko recruited her to help find his mother.

You were at the royal palace when Zuko revealed his sister would be coming on the trip with the rest of you. The others all gasped as a girl appeared beside Zuko but you just blinked confused. The girl in front of you was your age, average to small height and honestly just looked tired and worn down. You’d heard Azula had been locked up for a year due to her mental health difficulties and you couldn’t understand how the others didn’t see this all over her.

Zuko noticed you staring at Azula and realised you’d never met before. “Ow you don’t know each other....y/n this is Azula, Azula this is y/n Toph’s cousin”. “Hmmm a Beifong so not a peasant but earth kingdom scum is still earth kingdom scum” Azula replied glancing over you. “Azula!” Zuko snapped but you just shrugged “it’s fine, nice to meet you Azula”. Azula blinked at you confused at the notion any one of her brother’s friends would ever be pleased to see her. She stared at you before moving past you. “Sorry she’s....like that” Zuko commented and you smiled “no need to apologise, i’m sure after everything she’s been through this is hard for her, tracking your mother down...I bet she’s very nervous to be seeing her again, that’s probably why she’s lashing out”. Zuko frowned “I guess, I hadn’t thought of it that way...”.

Throughout the trip you had more patience with Azula than the others because you empathised with her. Yes, she was rude and snarky but you could tell she was only doing that to get a reaction out of the people she knew hated her. You’d grown up with difficult people who liked to annoy an reaction out of you (your cousin was Toph freaking Beifong) and so you knew they usually did it when they didn’t feel welcome or good about themselves. So you never responded to Azula’s quips about you or retaliated in any way and slowly she stopped. Soon you noticed you were the only one in the group who Azula didn’t rush to attack. She largely acted like you weren’t there but you took that as a good sign. If it was just the two of you she seemed more relaxed, less guarded and you were glad you had that effect on her. You wanted her to know not everyone hated her and apparently she did. 

Obviously however Azula couldn’t just be alone with you the whole trip. She was surrounded by the gang who rightfully mistrusted and intensely disliked her. It was a stressful environment and you saw its growing mark on Azula each day...

You usually took the main night watch as you didn’t need as much sleep as the others and you’d noticed while everyone else slept soundly Azula would often jerk and mutter in her sleep endlessly. One night it was particularly bad. Azula curled up into herself and her mutterings sounded more like whimpers. You tried to ignore it and just focus on your book but after a while you couldn’t. So you approached her slowly and realised she must be having a particularly bad nightmare. Azula” you called trying to wake her up. When the girl didn’t respond you walked closer and knelt down beside her “Azula?” you called shaking her slightly. Azula jolted awake suddenly, sitting up so fast she almost headbutted you. She flinched away from you, fire at her fingertips before she blinked “ow it’s just you, what were you doing leaning over me?”. “You were having a nightmare I was trying to wake you” you replied and Azula glared “impossible nightmares are for weak people and children”. You laughed “no they’re not! Everyone gets nightmares, it’s not something you can control and it certainly doesn’t mean you’re weak”. Azula huffed sitting up and pulled her legs into her chest “well either way I wasn’t having one okay?”. You nodded your head raising your hands in surrender “fine”. Silence settled and you looked at her “well i’m going to go sit back by the fire, you can join me if you want. It’d be nice to have some company”. Azula huffed “no thank you” she said sarcastically and you shrugged “suit yourself but the invite is there”.

You sat down by the fire and returned to your book. You heard Azula shuffling around and after a few minutes saw her stand up and head towards you. You pretended not to notice as Azula got closer and only looked up when she reached the campfire. “Since you rudely woke me up and I can’t get back to sleep I’ve decided to sit here, there’s no point just laying on the floor”. You nodded your head “that makes sense” and smiled slightly. Azula looked down embarrassed but seemed grateful you didn’t push it. You sat in comfortable silence, only talking fleetingly and it was calm and neutral. Azula looked the most relaxed and normal you’d ever seen her and sure enough she soon fell back to sleep. You smiled and grabbed a blanket laying it over her. She may be difficult but difficult people were that way because they were hurting. You could sense that in Azula and didn’t want to cause her any more harm. You thought Azula could sense your intentions to her were different than the other’s and that’s why she behaved differently with you. Every time you interacted you saw more of Azula, the healthy happier Azula, but all the walls went back up as soon as the others were around. It upset you Azula didn’t feel comfortable with the others but at least feeling comfortable with one person was a start.

3 days later

You were finally only one day away from reaching the village Zuko’s mom was in and you all sat around discussing what to do next. Well apart from Azula, she was always made to stand away when you discussed plans, nobody forced her to but she felt unwelcomed so would usually go sulk out of earshot. It was decided you’d make the journey the next morning rather than arriving in the middle of the night. You nodded along with the plans before standing up and heading off in Azula’s direction “okay i’ll go let her know”. “Let who know?” Katara asked and you paused “Azula, she doesn’t know the plan”. “So?” Zuko asked and you hesitated “well shouldn’t we tell her....i mean she’s a part of the group now, she deserves to know what we’re dragging her into”. Aang nodded, Toph and Sokka shrugged but Katara and Zuko didn’t look convinced. “Fine i guess” Zuko shrugged and you nodded, going to get Azula from her stance by the woods. The gang all watching on confused. 

The next day

You reached Ursa’s village the next day and found her home easily. She was thrilled to see her children again and the town threw a large party to celebrate the return of Ursa’s son the fire lord. You all attended and the whole gang looked so happy to finally be off the road and in a house, Zuko especially was in high spirits. He was beaming, a grin spread from ear to ear and you smiled to see he hadn’t left his mother’s side since he’d found her again. You saw Zuko’s family, his mom, new little sister Kiyi and stepdad all sat together and paused....they looked like a perfect happy family but someone was missing. You glanced around and saw Azula was outside, as far away from the happy occasion as she could get and was staring intensely at the surrounding scenery. You made your way outside and Azula jumped. “Only me” you said holding up a hand and Azula lowered her hands but her shoulders were still tensed “what do you want?”. “Nothing” you shrugged “just wanted to see if you were okay”. “Of course i’m okay” Azula snapped and you frowned. Over the period you’d spent travelling you’d seen Azula improve, she was less jumpy and agitated but the second you’d reached her mother’s town she was right back at square one. Her mother had been the reason for her initial mental breakdown and you were worried something like this could set her over the edge again. You knew Azula wasn’t one for small talk but wanted her to feel less alone so started talking to her. “You know I haven’t seen my family in 5 years?”. Azula didn’t attack you so you carried on. “They sent me to go live with Toph’s parents when I was 12 and I haven’t seen them since. To be honest it wasn’t a big move I was at Toph’s all the time but still to make it permanent... My father...he worked a lot so I never saw him even when I was home but as for my other family. My mom and I never saw eye to eye on anything, she hated all my decisions and honestly I think she was glad when I left...it gave her more time to focus on my brothers. Her favourites, she’s always preferred my brothers to me just because they’ll carry on the name or whatever”. You trailed off and Azula raised an eyebrow “are you actually trying to bond with me over mommy issues?”. You paused and rushed to explain you weren’t trying anything when you saw Azula had a slight smirk on her face and so you smiled. “Why not?” you asked “my point is, my parents were never there for me and I turned out fine! They only have as much power over you as you let them. Azula tutted “you should save the philosophy for Aang y/n”. You smiled “I probably should but all i’m saying is you’re not a product of what they’ve done to you unless you let yourself be, unless you hold onto that anger. I’ve forgiven my mother and father for how they treated me”. Azula spun on you and you jumped to see how angry she suddenly looked. “You expect me to believe after all she did to you, you forgave her? How stupid do you think I am?”. “I have” you said confused “I hold no anger towards my mother anymore”. “Well you should” Azula commented “she doesn’t deserve anything less”. You shrugged “maybe so but that anger was causing me way more harm than it was her”. Azula didn’t respond and you frowned. “I haven’t forgotten what she...what all my family did to me and I haven’t let them off for it, I set boundaries and refuse to let them treat me that way anymore...but I also don’t fixate over what happened, it happened, it was in the past and that’s where it should stay...that’s where I make it stay, I won’t let it take up any more of my time”. Silence settled and as time stretched on you stopped expecting a reply. That was fine with you, you just hoped any part of what you’d said had made Azula feel a little better. “I’m cold so i’m going to head back inside, you could come with me? I hate entering parties alone” you tried to joke but Azula didn’t glance at you. You shrugged and started back inside when Azula sighed and appeared beside you “come on then, if I must hold your hand with everything”. You grinned as you realised this was Azula’s way of saying she’d come back to the party with you. “But we’re getting food” Azula told you “i’m starving, that food Sokka hands out is awful”. You grinned as you walked in together “blubbered seal jerky, it is awful but it does sustain you”, Azula wrinkled her nose in disgust and you laughed. “I never figured you a picky eater”. “I’m not” Azula said defiantly “but i refuse to eat any animal’s blubber” she commented piling a plate with food. Not wanting to make her eat alone you copied her and filled a plate too. You found a table near the outskirts of the party and sat down together. Azula tucked into her food and you were surprised at her appetite though you knew you shouldn’t be. The girl was a machine of muscle and strength, of course she ate a lot. Still you watched impressed as Azula cleared her plate "you were hungry" you grinned and Azula smirked "why do you never believe me?". "I don’t know maybe your whole history with manipulation?". Azula’s smirk vanished and you worried you’d gone too far when she laughed. It was odd seeing her face contort into a laugh and her shoulders shake but a good weird. You liked seeing it and felt very proud you’d made the fearsome and dreadful Azula laugh. So proud you didn’t even notice that your and Azula’s table was getting attention.

Ursa’s POV

Ursa’s head shot up as she heard a vaguely familiar but sorely missed sound and her eyes landed on Azula almost instantly. Azula was laughing! She was smiling at a friend and appeared happy. Joy filled Ursa’s heart and she felt her eyes tear up to see her daughter happy. "Mother?" Zuko asked and she jumped. "Are you okay?" Zuko asked and she nodded "it’s just your sister...". "What has she done now?" Zuko snapped and Ursa shook her head "nothing! I just, i know i showed favourites and i always regretted leaving you both, i worried it would impact you both beyond repair especially Azula but then i saw her smiling...". Zuko followed his mothers gaze not believing her until he saw Azula beside you. His mother was right, Azula was actually smiling...well her form of a smile which was more of an upturned lip but still for Azula that was insane. "Who is her friend?" Ursa asked "she seems lovely". "Y/n" Zuko said confused "i didn’t even know they were friends" he was ashamed to admit. Ursa noticed and patted his back "i know things can’t have been easy and i’m sorry for my part in that but things can only get better now, for all of us" she said glancing back to Azula and Zuko nodded "apparently so".

Your POV

After the party was finished you were heading to your shared room with Toph when Katara appeared "y/n can we talk?". You shrugged and motioned for her to follow you into the room. She did and once inside you turned to her expectantly. "What are you doing are you insane!" she burst. You blinked "come again?". "Since when are you friends with Azula! Why would you want to be? What is wrong with you?". You took in the comments and breathed "erm...i guess we’ve become friends over the journey, i have spent the most time with her, i didn’t try to become friends with her i just talked to her and treated her like a human and it kind of just happened. As for what’s wrong with me....how long have you got?". Toph laughed and Katara glared "y/n this isn’t funny, don’t you remember all she’s done!". You rolled your eyes "ow yeah all water under the bridge...of course i haven’t forgotten what she's done but i have seen enough of her to know she’s just as broken as Zuko, she’s human Katara and she deserves the decency of being treated like one". Katara tutted "i don’t remember seeing an inch of humanity in her". "Well i’m sure if you start really looking at her you'll find it" you said sharply "now I’m going to bed so goodnight" and you turned away from the water bender letting her know this conversation was over.

Mai’s POV After Ursa had been found everyone returned to the fire nation to celebrate. Zuko was the happiest Mai had ever seen him but he wasn’t the only one who returned from the journey oddly happy. Thanks to her help Azula hadn’t been locked back up upon her return and she was freely roaming the palace. Old habits die hard and Mai found herself watching the girl who’d tormented her through her childhood and was surprised by what she saw. Azula had made a friend and one that actually seemed to genuinely like her judging by your smile. "So...Azula and y/n seem to get on" Mai commented and Zuko nodded amazed that this friendship had formed and that Azula was here at the party at all. He figured knowing their mother would be here she’d have run and hidden but here she was. "They seem quite close" Mai carried on "are they...is it more than a friendship?". Zuko paused "what?". Ty lee nodded "i was thinking the same thing, notice how Azula hardly looks away from her?". Mai nodded and Zuko frowned, clearly lost in the conversation. "I don’t know...i don’t think so" he babbled. Mai rolled her eyes at how clueless Zuko was "well is y/n or has y/n ever dated anyone to your knowledge". "No..." Zuko frowned. "They’re so dating" Ty lee grinned and Zuko frowned "are you sure? I mean my sister...date anyone?". Mai shook her head "you know she is a human being right Zuko? And an attractive one at that, i wouldn’t be surprised if she and y/n kindled something it's actually rather...sweet".

 Azula’s POV

Azula had only agreed to come to this party because you were going to be here and also because she’d been assured her mother wouldn’t try anything with her. Still Azula had been apprehensive to attend and the second you left her side her suspicions were confirmed. She was ambushed.  "Sooooo" Azula heard and turned to see an old friend? Ex friend? She still wasn’t sure but either way there was Ty lee grinning her. "Ty lee" she nodded at her curtly. "It’s good to see you" Ty lee smiled "i noticed you and y/n seem close". Azula raised an eyebrow, Ty lee was never good at being subtle and clearly meant something more with those words. "If you’re worried she’s beating you in the rankings of friendship you needn’t worry, you dropped right out of there the minute you betrayed me". Ty lee paused and Azula smirked "your face, you always were too easy to fool". Ty lee laughed nervously, Azula knew how to joke now?  "But seriously what’s up with you and y/n? Is it friends....is it more?". Azula paused "more?". "Well you guys just seemed very close" Ty lee shrugged "almost couple-y". Azula paused, this was a new perspective for her, she hadn’t even thought about her friendship with you or that it could be something more....now the idea was there she realised it wasn’t such a bad one.  She liked you, she thought you were nice to be around and funny. Not to mention you were beautiful and athletic. Azula thought it over while Ty lee almost burst. "So?" Ty lee finally asked and Azula paused. She didn’t want Ty lee to go around telling people before she even knew what she wanted so she shook her head "me and y/n are just friends". Ty lee looked disappointed "ow...well i’m still glad you’ve got such a good friend, you look a lot happier than i’ve ever seen you" Ty lee smiled and Azula realised she was. Even here at the palace where she had so many bad memories it wasn’t as bad anymore. Azula suspected a lot of that was because of you and felt a blush rise to her cheeks. How hadn’t she worked this out sooner? 

A few days later

All good things had to come to an end. With the mission a success the avatar and all his friends were leaving the fire nation soon and Azula knew you were planning on leaving too. You were going to help the little earth bender with her school. Azula knew Toph was the person you cared most about in the world so of course you’d want to go with her but part of her wished you wouldn’t. She wished you had nothing to pull you away from her.

She’d heard from Zuko you were leaving soon and so she debated back and forth if she should come see you to say goodbye or just let you go. As the time trickled away and the day of your departure arrived she decided to just swallow her pride and come and find you. She found you in your room in the palace doing some very late packing. You had apparently just finished as she found you lining up your luggage for the trip. “Azula” you said happily spotting her and she couldn’t help but smile “hi y/n”. “Hello” you smiled “how are you?”. “I’m good, and you?”. “Great” you smiled “we’re all set to leave soon! I can’t wait to get home”. Azula nodded “I can imagine” and stared at the floor. “Is everything okay?” you asked and Azula tensed. “Everything’s fine I just wanted to say goodbye”  Azula shrugged meeting your eye and smiling slightly. She thought she’d been pretty convincing but apparently not.

Your POV

"Azula what’s wrong? I can tell somethings bothering you" you said frowning and came to stand closer to her. You could tell she was nervous, something you’d rarely seen on the firebender’s face. "I...i was just wondering when you were coming to the fire nation again?". You paused "well i’m not sure honestly, i guess whenever the gang comes again, why have you got a big festival coming up or something?". Azula shook her head "no we don’t...". She sounded disappointed and an idea formed in your head, did Azula not want you to go? "The gang might be too busy to just swing by but that doesn’t mean i can’t" you said testing the water and saw Azula’s eyes widen and her cheeks flush slightly. "I think that would be nice" she said looking down and you smiled softly. Azula wanted you around! "Yeah?" you asked and Azula nodded "i guess i’ve become...accustomed to your presence" she said.

You almost laughed that this was what Azula thought was an honest compliment. No, Azula could do better than that so you prompted her.

"Accustomed to my presence?" you asked raising an eyebrow and Azula searched for words before sighing. "I like being around you" she shrugged going red "so you coming back to the fire nation wouldn’t be a bad thing i guess". You grinned "you’d cope with that idea?". Azula nodded her head still blushing "i would". You laughed and couldn’t stop smiling at Azula’s blush. "Well in that case i’d be more than happy to have regular visits, not to mention you can come visit me and Toph at her school anytime you want". "I can?" Azula asked and you nodded "of course! You think i’d leave you all alone with these firebenders and no escape route". Azula smiled at you, a genuine happy smile and nodded her head "that’s...thank you, i’m sure i’ll be taking you up on that offer frequently". "As much as you want" you said taking her hand "i mean it Azula, even if it’s just for a few hours or a night, you’re always welcome with me". Azula stared at you and wondered again how she hadn’t realised she liked you before. It was so obvious to her now, she only hoped it wasn’t so obvious to you but judging by the fact she had a permanent blush this whole time she wasn’t too sure about that. Azula nodded "thank you y/n" and you smiled "no problem". You carried on looking at her before blushing at your close proximity and stepped away. "So i best be going but expect many letters". Azula chucked and you shrugged "what? I’m not kidding? I love writing letters, you will receive many from me, once a day if you’re lucky". Azula smiled "i promise to reply to every single one" and you grinned "you better". You started towards the door and stopped to look back at her. "I’ve really enjoyed our time together and I just wanted you to know...i think you’re pretty amazing”. Azula blushed "thank you....you’re also very good". You chuckled at her awkward reply and smiled "all i meant was, don’t let anyone tell you you’re not good enough, from where i’m standing...that’s not the case at all, in any way". Azula’s face turned an even deeper shade of red and you smiled. "Anyway i’ll go now, bye Azula". "Bye y/n" she managed and with a last smile you were gone. Azula immediately felt a pang of loneliness but then thought of what you’d do. She took a few deep breaths and repeated what you’d told her. She was good enough, she was more than good enough, she didn’t need to be insecure or cruel. She opened her eyes, let out a sigh and turned to her daily tasks. She'd see you again soon enough and only 13 hours until your promised daily letter, Azula could wait that long.

____

I absolutely love this idea of Azula finding someone she can be open and vulnerable with and might make this into a 3 part series??

[peakyblinders1919]

Unexpected Present

Alfred fucking Solomons. A man who can figure out how to double-cross people and triple his wealth with stocks and bonds and business deals can’t figure out how to make a fucking cup of tea.

He left you raging when he informed you of the business trip and that your presence was not only requested but rather expected. Now, blood boiling you mix the perfect amount of milk with the perfect amount of sugar into his tea like a chemical equation. Bringing it out to him served up on a silver platter and an eye roll as garnish.

“Thank you, love.”

“Anything else I can get for you, Mr. Solomons,” you say through grit teeth. Holding up appearances for those around, the dutiful, too pretty secretary of the business mogul from England. Unable to discern what’s worse; the way the American businessman with gelled hair is eyeing you up in the middle of the elaborate conference room or having to act like nothing is bothering you.

“I think that’s all for now Ms. Y/L/N. We won’t be much longer, make sure the lodging is in place, hm?”

With a curt nod, you’re more than ready to leave the room, muttering under your breath in the hallway. “Do this, do that, do this. I’m a grown man and I need you to do everything for me. Sorry,” you’d blush if you cared one iota that the other businessman’s personal secretary had overheard your grumbling. She understands as evident by her smile. “Sometimes I wonder if how he even manages to piss without someone’s help.”

All it took was a deadly combination of laughter and mutual dislike towards your bosses to pull you and Sofia, as you learned, from the dull waiting room of the office to the more than convenient speakeasy hidden in the parking garage. It only takes one whiskey sour for Sofia to be buzzed, spewing her deepest, darkest thoughts about her coworkers and the like. Blame prohibition for her lightweight. An odd sensation drinking the amber liquid, a sickly sweet, hearty concoction, in the protection of darkness, illegally, it’s a welcome change. A sense of familiarity. A sense of home.

“I’ve worked for Alfie for three years now, three years. I thought we were friends. Hell, I’ve taken off sick days and he’s delivered me soup, or at the very least have someone check in on me.”

“That….” Sofia hiccups, stumbling lighting on the barstool, the stickiness of the countertop keeping her from tipping completely. “That’s more than Robert has ever done for me. It’s been almost two years and he doesn’t even know my name.”

“And the bastard has the nerve to force me here two days before Christmas Eve as if I don’t have a life outside serving him. He knows I’ve left my mother and father alone in our country home. Heaven forbid it snows and they can’t get out-” Shaking your head, you decide to change the subject. No point in rudementing on it. Alfie fucking Solomon’s forced you to America for Christmas all because of fucking tea.

Seething now from the alcohol, it’s a miracle you manage to get Sofia back to the top floor just in time to help her stand up straight as Mr. Douche and Mr. Bastard leave their business meeting. Smoothing your skirt, another fake smile plastered onto your lips, popping a mint into your mouth quickly before they’re standing in front of you, going separate ways.

“You’re agitated Ms. Y/L/N,” Alfie begins once the two of you are alone, walking onto the bustling New York street. It’s a few blocks to the car before you realize there’s a blanket of white snow on the ground.

“What gave it away Alfie.”

“The whiskey on your breathe for one. Thought I wouldn’t notice, did yay? Couldn’t handle yourself, aye?”

“Fuck off, the least I deserve for leaving everything to come on this stupid trip of yours is a cold drink.”

“You know I’m not against drinking, I for one believe in the positive effects of alcohol. My mother, yeah, she swears she every type of alcohol healed a different affliction, rum for your impure thoughts and pain, whiskey to heal loneliness, hm?”

“I’m lonely because of you. I could be with my parents back home making biscuits.”

“Oi, lighten up Y/N. I don’t have you pegged as the cooking biscuits type.”

“Apparently there’s a lot you don’t know about me after 3 years.”

Tension heavy, cold as snow in the car between you two. Alfie sets the engine to life, roaring and purring.

“Right,” his voice devoid of any teasing lightheartedness that existed before which you chose to ignore, “where are we off to?”

“The Ritz.”

“Really? So elaborate, not really my style…” Rolling your eyes at him for the second time that day, you know he wouldn’t want to stay anywhere else. The accommodations were made weeks ago; a room or two in the most well-known hotel in the heart of New York City, a day before Christmas, was in high demand.

The lights lit because of Christmas or regardless of, sparkle and blur as the car speeds by. The snow glistens as well, and if this was home, you might find a way to enjoy it… enjoy it with the company beside you.

Your anger begins to dissipate ever so slightly as Alfie pulls the car up to the valet, passing him an extra twenty to retrieve the bags. After a quick scan of the wreaths and garlands draping the opulent skyscraper, Aflie limps to your side and together enter the lobby.

“Sciatica acting up?”

“Must be the damn snow.”

“Or karma.” Right, still angry at him. “Wait here, I’ll get the room keys,” you falter slightly.

“Oi, that took longer than expected. Time for a nightcap,” he groans, his cane assisting him up.

“Uh.. so there was a bit of miscommunication. Remember when you told me to check our reservation today… due to the unexpected snow storm, they’ve booked all of their rooms so…” you flash a single golden key.

“No. No no. Let me-”

“Alfie, there’s nothing you can do about it. No amount of yelling or money is going to make a room magically appear.”

“It’s called being persuasive.”

“Demanding’s more like it.”

You find yourself sighing through grit teeth, jaw clenched, and hair standing on end in writhing anger.

Alfie’s settled in, his luggage, coat, and hat draped across the single king-sized bed. At least it’s a suite, but then again what suite in the Ritz doesn’t have a sofa? He limps slowly over to the liquor cabinet for a nightcap as you take a seat on the chair and make your anger known as you pop off your shoes.

“I don’t know why you’re upset, the situation is your fault.”

“I don’t know why you had to fucking remind me.”

“You know, you’ve had a nasty attitude ever since we landed.”

“Wow, take a fucking guess why Alfie? Maybe it’s because I’ve had to surrender my holiday with my family to be here, locked up in a small room with my overbearing, demanding boss.”

“I thought you celebrated Hanukkah.” Champagne, your favored nightcap, sprays in the air, suggesting your shock.

“Come again?” He shrugs nonchalantly as if the thought of you celebrating anything else is unfathomable. “You don’t really know anything about me, Alfie.”

Sulking into the bathroom, you take time to undress in what little privacy you’ll experience tonight and are wrapped up in the steamy water and hot trace of tears down your cheeks. Anger channeled into aggravation into anguish and dismay.

Finally emerging in pajamas, Alfie has made himself comfortable and you feel your way through the dark, stubbing your toe on the coffee table and cursing in the dark.

“And where am I supposed to sleep? The floor?”

“Of course not. You can sleep in the bed.”

“And where are you going to sleep?”

“In the bed. Really, Y/N, I’ve hired you for your intelligence, not your lack thereof. I’m not sleeping on the damn floor with my leg and I wouldn’t expect you to either.”

“Maybe I want to sleep on the floor.”

“Go ahead, be my guest. No one’s stopping you…”

Growling, you slip in next to him, warning him to stay on his side of the bed and to keep his hands to himself, warning, “You know what I’m capable of with a knife.”

Waking up Christmas morning, it feels like an overly humid summer day in July. A moment for your eyes to adjust to the darkness of the surroundings, attempting to pry yourself from the mattress, sticky with sweat, it’s only then you realize where you are. And who you are with.

Alred fucking Solomons. Wrapped around you like a snake twirled around a branch as if it’s life depends on it, is asleep on your chest, the tickle of his beard against your arm. He snorts, moves momentarily in his sleep. Can’t help but stare a little longer, who knew a gangster bogged down to his shoulders in stress and danger, could look so peaceful when asleep. He almost looks attractive in this light, mostly because his mouth is shut save for the rhythmic light snoring. Then he snorts loudly again.

“Alfie. Alfie. Alfred!” He wakes with a jolt, shoved harder than expected. Harsh Russian words fill the air as he straightens.

“Miss. Y/N/L what’re you doing in my bed.”

“There’s one bed Alfie. It was your idea.” Lip curling as the thought you jump out of bed, a blush on your cheeks instinctively. “Not the present I was expecting on Christmas either Mr. Solomons. Now get up and get dressed, you’ve a last meeting at noon. Then I get to go home for the holidays.”

“As if you can’t wait to get that far away from me. Maybe you’ll be cold tomorrow night, I’m a furnace.”

I got carried away in the beginning and with an actual plot rather than the actual sharing a bed part... leave comments!!

[avengers-age-of-fanfics]

a second chance

pairing: thor odinson x reader

word count: 1,757

request: @clownerlyluv asked - if you write for thor, could do you a fluffy fic about the reader's and his arranged marriage? :))

warnings: thor basically ignoring reader and her feelings at first, choosing jane over reader, asgardian mead, getting drunk

summary: you and thor's arranged marriage does not work out until it does. :)

author's note: I honestly loved this idea and had a lot of fun writing it, so thank you for requesting!

You had known early on that your father and Allfather Odin did much business together, attending many of his parties and becoming well-versed in the royal life. You were not royal yourself, no, but your family was on the wealthier side of Asgard, and was well-respected. The people of Asgard knew your family name and in turn, you made it a task of yours to at least know everyone in Asgard; they were all so kind and welcoming that you could not help but be respectful in return.

Because of your time spent around the royal family, you had grown to know Allfather Odin and Allmother Frigga sons, Thor and Loki. When you three were kids, you would always cause havoc within the palace, forcing the guards to have an eye on all of you at all times. However, over time, your closeness slowly dissipated and it seemed as though you three were strangers. Oddly so, you and Loki conversed much more when you were older, compared to you and Thor.

Thor had always been arrogant and loud, while Loki was reserved and quiet – which was probably why you two talked more than the other brother. You never disliked Thor, no! If anything, you’d say you have been chasing after him since you were kids, your childhood crush developing into one that caused you to admire Thor every second of every day.

So, when word was passed onto you and Loki about Jane of Midgard, well…your heart broke. You knew Thor never belonged to you, and he most likely never saw you as a potential wife in the future, but knowing that there was another woman, a mortal at that, you knew you had a reason to cry. You had tried to fall in love, to convince your heart to fall for someone else besides the god of Thunder, but it would not budge; you loved Thor, but he did not love you.

And that was the hardest pill you had to swallow when looking at him in front of you, seeming so disinterested, disengaged, that he had an arranged marriage with you.

Did you ever see this coming? No, absolutely not. Marriage to Thor was something you wanted, or at least dreamt of, but not like this – not forced. He clearly was unhappy about his father’s decision to marry you both, and you hated seeing him like this.

You wanted nothing but the best for Thor, but this was not the way to go about it. The vows seemed fake, written by someone else for you both, and the whole occasion within itself was just…awkward. After sealing your marriage, becoming Princess of Asgard, line to the throne after Odin handed over his kingship to Thor, the party began.

Asgardian Mead was tossed around, getting almost everyone drunk except you and Loki – Thor had immediately begun drinking once formalities were over.

Sitting on some stairs before they sunk into the dining hall of the palace, Loki shifted his gaze toward you, “feeling a bit melancholy, are we, Lady Y/N?”

You huffed towards the younger brother, “I am in no mood for your riddles, Loki.”

Loki went quiet for a few seconds before he continued, “would you prefer to talk about it? About all of this?”

You picked at your beautiful dress, skin softly grazing over the design pattern as you seemed more interested in that than anything else, “he doesn’t – nor will he ever – want me as his wife. I am not enough for him.”

Loki grasped your hand from picking at your dress, “my brother is an idiot, and it may take him a while to realize what a beautiful woman he has in front of him. He just needs time to move on from Jane; be patient, Y/N.”

You wished you could smile at Loki, but it was more of a grimace as you squeezed his hand, “I just wish there was something I could do for him, for him to – to love me as a wife, like a queen.”

The younger one nodded, agreeing with you, “and in due time, he will. He just has to use that embarrassingly small brain of his.” At that, the two of you giggled like Asgardian school girls.

Throughout the night, more and more party-goers seemed to feel the effects of the mead and headed home, saying goodbye to their future King and Queen. Your friends had already left, but not without telling you that they were going to spoil their future ruler the next day – that put a smile on your face.

Thor had been loud and boisterous all night, cheering to things that made no sense and yelling gibberish. As the night settled down, you took it upon yourself to bring Thor to your now shared chambers, telling him that there would be more mead tomorrow. With that, he wasted no time slipping your arm into his and making his way down the hall with clumsy footing.

Along the way, Thor and you sort of conversed – his words were so mixed together that you could barely understand what he was saying, but from what you gathered, he was happy. He was happy to see his friends and have a great time, and he was happy to see you dressed up so beautifully, just for him.

That had made a blush form upon your cheeks.

Entering your chambers, you helped Thor undress until he was left in undergarments, comfortable enough for sleep, as you took off the many necklaces his friends had put upon his neck. Once you were finished, he grasped your hand, rubbing it gently.

Your cheeks heated up, “are you alright, Thor?” His eyes grew glossy as he nodded, “I-I am, you looked so, so beautiful tonight, Lady Y/N… the beautifullest Asgardian there, I swear – I swear to you.”

You chuckled, “well, I sure hope so; I am your wife, after all.”

Thor gasped and a shocked expression appeared, “you’re my wife? My queen? Is that why you’re dressed so pretty?”

You ran a hand over his hair as he almost purred at the feeling, “tonight was our wedding, dear. Now get some sleep, it will do you good.”

And sleep did do Thor good as the next day, he remembered nothing of what he said and continued on as if your marriage hadn’t happened.

You knew he was still angry, furious, about the fact that he could not see Jane anymore, yet you knew he asked Heimdall almost every day to see through her, if she was alright. You did not hate her, no, but you hated how much power she had over Thor. You, along with Asgard, needed the future king – but here he was, obsessed with a Midgardian.

This habit of his had continued for weeks and during that time, your therapeutic sessions spent with Loki did you good. At first, much of it was crying and being so heartbroken that Thor just could not stand the fact of being married to you. However, Loki had persuaded you to stand your ground to him, to tell Thor how much this was hurting you, how much he was hurting you.

One night, Thor had come back from his nightly visits to Heimdall to see you standing in the middle of your chambers, arms crossed and an absolute furious – yet hurt – look on your face.

The god of Thunder was speechless, “Lady Y/N, I thought…you were asleep?”

You gritted your teeth before you answered, “I haven’t been sleeping since the first night you visited Heimdall to see Jane, Thor.”

Thor tensed, “how did you-“

You dropped your hands, “I am no idiot, Thor! I am not blind to your utter distaste for this arranged marriage, nor am I blind for your disinterest in me. I know I am not who you want, Thor, I know – but I am trying to make this work! I want this to work, but you are making this so unbelievably hard with your daftness, and of course, being in love with someone else. So please, I am begging you, just please treat me like I mean something to you, like I have at least some value in your life.”

Thor stood silent, eyes dropping to the ground as took in your words. He had been, what his friends say, an absolute asshole, to you; it was unfair and he deserved everything that you said to his face and most likely, behind his back. He lifted his head, “I am…so sorry, Lady Y/N. I have been unfair to you and for that, I apologize.” You sighed in relief, “thank you. And I have to apologize, too – I cannot imagine the heartache you are experiencing with your Midgardian.”

Thor let out a breath, “Heimdall has not allowed me to see her anymore. He believes I am – was – being unfaithful to you.”

Another point to Heimdall for being the best Asgardian ever.

You nodded, “while I wish I could say otherwise, I am somewhat glad of that decision.”

Thor walked towards you, hands reaching out to hold your hands, “I know I have been unfair, and in a way, unfaithful to you, my wife, but allow me to redeem myself?” Tears welled in your eyes but you pushed them away, trying to focus on the moment taking place, “of course, Thor – and I will do better to care for my husband, Asgard’s future king.”

Thor’s hands then moved to your cheeks, thumbs softly grazing your skin before he smiled, leaning down and catching the corner of your lips. You smiled softly, feeling his lips just barely meeting yours before he pulled away, “I do not mind proving myself worthy over time of being able to taste your lips, Lady Y/N.”

You smiled at him before grasping his cheeks in your own hands, brining his lips to yours as you both sighed in happiness and relief. Thor leaned back slightly before kissing you once more, laying kiss after kiss upon your lips as you giggled against his own, “I will never grow tired of that sound, nor the taste of your lips, my queen.”

You kissed Thor before you leaned back on your own, “and I will never grow tired of your compliments, nor your show of affection, my king.”

Thor’s heart raced in excitement and joyfulness as you, a woman that he initially had treated poorly, had given him a second chance; your own smile grew as you gave Thor, a man who had initially treated you poorly, a second chance.

[wesimpforxiao]

Say My Name and I’ll Be There:  6.2

Il Dottore entered your cell early the next morning and was followed by Childe.  "Rise!  It is the beginning of your contribution to Snezhnayan society!"  His entire demeanor reeked with a vivid excitement despite the bland atmosphere that sat within the cell.

But you, on the other hand, just looked blankly at him.  After all the crying you did yesterday, your determination and perseverance had renewed somewhat.  The bags under your eyes were still puffy and blotched with red.  Your skin felt dry and chapped long after the tears dried.

Your lack of enthusiasm seemed to upset the man, and he frowned.  He pulled an abnormally large syringe out of his coat pocket.  "I had a feeling you'll resist, so we'll make do with mild paralysis, yes?"  Your gaze slid to the tool that had to be as long as his own forearm.

Childe reacted when you shifted your attention to him.  "I believe this is the last we'll see each other, ojou-chan," he spoke as Dottore approached you.  "It's a shame we'll have to part ways like this, but have comfort in knowing our banters and battles were entertaining while they lasted."

"Stop."  You flinched as Dotorre grabbed your chained arm.  "I-I won't resist." That needle was large. Did it have to be that big?  Was it really necessary?  And the amount of liquid inside it--simply terrifying to look at.  "I won't resist."  You even made a point to hold still, but to no avail.  He wasn't going to stop.

"Remember what I said, ojou-chan.  I gave you a way out of this rough treatment."  The needle jabbed into your forearm, making you wince in pain as your eyes pleaded for Childe's help.  

Panic had begun to set in.  "Get off of me!"  You pushed at Il Dottore.  The force in your hands did nothing, and you quickly realized in complete horror that you were already losing feeling in your limbs.  What quick reflexes you had were now achingly slow and uncoordinated.  The harbinger stood and proceeded to carelessly toss the empty syringe onto the other end of the cell.

"Go ahead and escort her," Dottore called out for two Fatui agents in the hall.  They lifted your heavy body and began to drag you out of the cell.

"Wait!  You can't do this!  Tartaglia, please!"  Your screams echoed once you were pulled into the hallway.  The useless kicks of protest were weak against gravity.  "Stop this!"

"This is goodbye, ojou-chan."  Something humane and hesitant flickered in his eyes, but he saw you off with an ominous grin.

..........................................................

Despite Diluc's apparent dislike towards Kaeya, Aether invited him on their mission anyway.  Things got heated pretty quickly, but Paimon managed to cool them down by insulting both of them whenever they got too heated.

It was day two of their caravan journey disguised as simple merchants.  Diluc manned the wagon while Kaeya walked along its left side, Xiao on the right, and Aether in the back.  Zhongli was scouting ahead, but stated he would not intervene once the group reached Snezhnaya.  They had barely managed to cross Fontaine's border without being detected by border patrol.  The weather here was more humid than that of Liyue or Mondstat.

"To think I would get such a humble request from the Hero of Mondstat,"  Kaeya spoke loud enough to get on Diluc's nerves.  "I never would have thought such a strong individual would need a Knight of Favonius.  Must be desperate times."  Diluc grumbled something under his breath, but kept his focus on the dirt path.  His hands were holding onto the reins a little too tight.

"We thought you'd be able to help us with diplomatic stuff since you're a Knight," Paimon admitted.  "You might be able to get us into the palace, right?"

"It's possible, but I wouldn't count on it," the knight shrugged carelessly.  

"We wouldn't dream of it," Diluc scoffed.

"Oh?  And is that because I'm associated with the Knights, or," Kaeya tested, "because you feel threatened by my presence?"

"You're as unreliable as them," Diluc retorted with a frown, finally facing his adopted brother.  "You fit right in with that group of--"

"NGH!"  Xiao doubled over from an unforeseen searing pain that tore through his chest.  He knelt to the ground and clutched at his sternum.  

"Xiao!"  Paimon and Aether ran toward him.  Zhongli, who was returning from his position to report back to the team, heard the shouts and came running.  Diluc stopped the caravan, and he and Kaeya joined the duo next to the yaksha.

"Haah...hah..."  Xiao heaved, sweat beading at the top of his forehead. "Tch."  The pain had just begun to subside when another one replaced it, this time in his shoulders.  Then his legs.  Then his back.  He was practically seeing spots by the time Zhongli reached him.  "Don't touch me!"  He swatted the air around him similar to that of a wounded animal.  "Urk..."

"What's hurting you?"  Zhongli observed the yaksha's behavior carefully.  He suffers from chronic pains, but I have yet to see him react so harshly.  "Do I need to get your medication?"

"I-I'm fine," he assured even though it was obvious the opposite was true.  His labored breathing brought concerned looks to everyone.

"You should rest in the wagon," Diluc spoke.  Then he turned to Aether.  "Is he well enough to accompany us?"

"Your eyes," Zhongli knelt before Xiao, "are glowing."  Like hers.

"So?"  I don't need useless observations of my pain. Ugh...  It doesn't compare to my past injuries, but it's enough to upset my stomach.  What is this?  His eyes frantically flit around the group's surroundings only to find nothing out of the ordinary.  Was I poisoned somewhere along the way?  I did not consume human food.  There was that merchant awhile back--

"Xiao," Zhongli snapped him out of his thoughts.  Once he regained the yaksha's attention, he repeated his words.  "When was the last time you took your pain killers?"

"This morning," he groaned.  "This doesn't happen."  The sun's cool rays suddenly acted like they were burning him alive.

"Have you heard anything from her?"

"Not in the past two days."  The pain is subsiding.  Xiao's shoulders slowly began to relax as he continued to try and steady his breathing.

"Do you hear anything now?  Perhaps recall random memories, or visions?"  This is the second newest side effect in the past three days...what could they possibly be doing to trigger this reaction in the two of them?  First, an emotional mirroring, and now with pain?  What are they tormenting her with?

"No.  It's just pain."

"I see."

"It's gone now,"  Xiao stood abruptly, ignoring the swaying earth beneath his feet.  Kaeya was about to grab his shoulder to steady him when Xiao's vision was obscured by red and yellow splotches.  His legs gave way from under him.

..........................................................

"A nerve agent seems to react well with your eyes," Dottore chuckled, and he set the remaining syringe on the top of a stand to his left.

You couldn't really talk anymore, but your illuminated irises and the tears that streamed down your cheeks said plenty about the situation.  Your arms and legs were tied down with leather restraints, and your convulsing body lay atop a metal operating bench.  From what you could make out, this place was some type of arena, but Dottore didn't make you fight monsters of the abyss like you initially thought he would.

You would've preferred it if that were the case.

"Now I'll ask again," Dottore grinned manically and moved his face close to yours.  "How much do you know about your condition?"  His hair swayed as if to portray his sick enthusiasm.

"Nothing," you sobbed quietly.  Finally, the immense pain jolting through your bones was subsiding.  Relief washed over your twitching limbs similar to that of the tide.

"Childe told me you knew about our plans.  What did you think those were?"

When he began to reach for another syringe, you stopped him.  "Just that you want whatever's in my blood."

"Do you know the powers you possess?"  You shook your head.  "Haah..." Dottore sighed.  "Another lie."  He picked a new syringe up and tapped the excess liquid that spewed out of it.  "We are not fully aware of each aspect to your predicament; if we had the two of you here, we wouldn't need to pull the information out of you.  This would be much easier if you told me the truth of what you know.  That way, we wouldn't have a reason to test every substance on you, yes?"

"I don't know anything."

"Round three it is, then."

................................................

"ALATUSSS!"  You screamed, now delirious from the never-ending onslaught of pain that you've been through for the past several hours.  Il Dottore paused his sadistic torture as if a light bulb had gone off in his head.

"Now that is a name you haven't yelled before," a slow smile crept upon his face as he watched your chest heave from exhaustion.  "Who is this 'Alatus?'"

"P-please," you whimpered.  You were drenched in sweat and tears now.

"How does round ten sound to you?"

"No," you whimpered helplessly, what's left of your fighting spirit finally shattering to pieces.

"Now now, Dottore," a woman's voice rang through the arena.  "We don't want her dying on us.  She's our only shot at this."  Signora came into view, and she eyed you like a piece of meat.  "Oh dear, you look tired."  Another tear dripped in response to her mocking tone.  Tension rose in your body yet again when she came to your side and examined you with cold eyes.  

"She's not under your jurisdiction, Signora," Dottore shrugged.  "If she had just given me the answers I was looking for, we would skip this step entirely.  But if she insists, I have no problem with torture."

"Oh?"  Signora narrowed her eyes at you.  "So then, who is Alatus, little one?  All this suffering would be over if you answer our questions."  She gently swiped the hair out of your face, a gesture that heavily contradicted the predatory expression on her face.

More tears rolled down the sides of your face as you stared back at her.  It hurts...everything hurts so bad, Xiao.  I can't fight... You choked down a sob and looked away from the harbingers.  I'm so tired...

"Resume your interrogation tomorrow.  She's drained."

Dottore grumbled something under his breath as he set aside his next syringe.  "Guards! Hurry up and untie her already!"  His subordinates immediately did as they were told, fearful of not moving fast enough to the harbinger's liking.  They dragged your limp body back to your cell.  

You were too exhausted to resist.

.........................

Coming Up Next: An unexpected reunion.

[pokemoncreepypasta]

HM Slave

[STORY SOURCE]

The Generation I games. Definitely not perfect games by any means, but they were fun to play.

It's a shame my old cartridge’s battery has been long since dead. Makes sense, it was a hand-me-down from an older sibling of mine. Between both of our times playing it, it was bound to die sometime.

I was feeling nostalgic and wanted to play it again after so many years...

The trouble was, I had no intention of learning how to replace the battery, or buying a new cartridge. None of that appealed to me.

So, I just took it upon myself to play it without saving. Any time I wanted to stop, I’d just plug it into my charger, and leave it be.

Everything about this run was just for nostalgia. It was nothing personal to me, so I didn't name Red after myself or something.

I wanted to play through this game without getting attached to anything.

The best way to go through without caring? A starter-only run. I chose Charmander, since it was the cover ‘mon, and also my favorite of the three. Not necessarily because it would make the game easier in the long run.

Of course, there’s no way I’d be able to get through with just Charmander.

My plan was to catch a Pokémon specifically to use as an HM slave, so my Charizard wouldn’t be clogged up by useless moves in the long run.

And what better HM slave than the one who can learn them all, right?

In Generation I, you can’t delete moves in any way, so an HM slave was absolutely necessary.

Not like I hated Mew or anything... I just never performed the Mew glitch as a kid and thought that this would be a fun opportunity to try it.

The darned thing did everything within its power to not get caught, blowing through every single one of my PokéBalls that I’d prepared to catch it with. Hey, it wasn’t like I was going to need them later, so I didn’t complain.

I decided to nickname the little thing. I’d heard the term “HM mule” thrown around in place of HM slave, so I thought it would be funny.

Of course, picking the Fire type had its rocky start, with its disadvantage against the first two gym leaders.

I managed to scrape by with scummy tactics, though.

I’d switched to my Abra that I’d caught to perform the Mew glitch, and let Misty knock it out.

After that, I switched to Mewl for the free turn, and then healed my Charmeleon. Then, after Mewl fainted, I got a free switch into Charmeleon.

When the battle was over, I could proudly claim the Cascade Badge.

This was Mewl’s secondary purpose, to be switch fodder for me to heal my starter.

Things were going fine until Mewl learned Cut.

The first instance where Mewl’s “skills” would come into play.

This was a game where you couldn’t use HMs from the overworld, so I went to the menu to manually select it.

“MEWL ignored orders...”

Now, imagine my surprise when my slave wouldn’t listen to orders. I tried a few more times, with the same result.

I attempted to rationalize it, picking my brain for a reason. I assumed that you could not use HM moves while a Pokémon was fainted, but something about that didn’t seem right.

I healed at the Pokémon Center to be safe though.

That seemed to work, so I assumed that I was right and continued to Surge.

Nothing really unusual happened during the fight, but Mewl was knocked out again for a free heal.

On my way out, I had to cut down the tree blocking Surge’s gym again. I was worried for a moment that I had gotten myself stuck, but Mewl cut it down just fine.

I figured the game would let me use HM moves if I would be trapped otherwise.

I went back to the center to heal up my starter, and my stubborn little mule.

(And Abra too, I guess.)

I caught and released a few throwaway Pokémon to obtain Flash, which I immediately taught to Mewl.

I made my way to Rock Tunnel.

”MEWL won’t obey!”

I was frustratingly met with this. It was fully healed, I couldn't understand why it was disobeying. I wondered if it was some sort of consequence from having an illegitimate Mew...

I kept trying and trying, but no matter what, it wouldn’t light the cave.

I was sure this little bugger didn’t want to wander around in the dark just as much as me, so I really couldn’t figure out what was wrong.

I tried checking its summary, to which its blank, neutral expression had changed to something more... defiant?

I didn't know what kind of sick joke Morimoto was pulling on me by programming Mew to be this way, but I wasn’t having any of it.

It dawned on me that Abra could also learn Flash, so I just let Mewl be prissy and lit up the cave with Abra.

I somewhat regretted my choice to teach Mewl Flash. If I had known it was going to act like this, I would have just taught it Fly instead…

I decided to go ahead and skip getting Fly, since Charizard couldn't learn it anyway.

Thankfully, I made it out of Rock Tunnel just fine.

Charizard made Erika’s gym a total joke, so I didn’t even need Mewl as fodder for this fight.

The whole game was going fine so far up to Fuchsia City, and I had completely forgotten about Mewl’s disobedience by now.

I had obtained its final two moves, so I booted the HMs up and slapped them onto it.

Of course, to use Surf and progress, I had to face off against Koga.

Things were going well up until Charizard couldn’t deal with Koga’s last Pokémon.

I sent in Mewl to heal my Charizard.

”Enemy WEEZING used SLUDGE!”

“MEWL ENDURED the hit!”

Strangely, when Weezing attacked Mewl, it didn’t get knocked out in one hit like it was meant to. Instead, it stayed in the field.

While I wanted to question it at the time, I just used a Hyper Potion on my Charizard to get it back to full.

”Enemy WEEZING used SMOG!” 

“MEWL ENDURED the hit!”

 Sure enough, I wasn’t dreaming. Mewl was somehow surviving all of Koga’s attacks. Normally that would be pretty cool, except for the fact that Mewl was level 7 and therefore effectively worthless in this fight.

I had to wait for it to faint to switch to Charizard, but Mewl kept surviving every hit that was thrown at it.

”Enemy WEEZING used TOXIC!”

“MEWL”s hurt by poison!”

“MEWL fainted!”

Thankfully, it eventually became poisoned and went down, so I could send in Charizard to finish the job.

I made quick work of Koga and his Weezing after that and made my way out of the Gym.

But weirdly, as I was leaving, I couldn’t help but notice the screen flashing as if a Pokémon in my party was still poisoned.

I checked my party again to see what was up.

It seemed like Mew had a custom sprite for being knocked out that I never noticed before. I didn't even know if that was a thing.

But it was definitely knocked out, for sure, so I brushed it off as some sort of bug.

I figured if anything would fix the poison glitch, it’d be healing at the Pokémon Center.

”If you drive your POKéMON too hard, they’ll dislike you.”  

”Please take better care of your POKéMON.” 

 I was confused at this text. Was this dialogue hidden for players like me who let their Pokémon faint over and over? Whatever it is, I have never seen it before.

”We hope to see you again!” 

The nurse went back to her chipper disposition afterwards though, so I figured I should just be on my merry way as well.

I checked up on Mewl to see how it was doing now.

It seemed like the nurse just haphazardly patched it up. Mewl’s expression still looked tense, but I hoped that didn’t mean it wouldn’t use its new HM moves.

I made a quick note to take down Giovanni at Silph Co. and Sabrina. My Charizard was actually getting a bit over-leveled, so I swept through without needing to use Mewl to heal during battles at all.

I decided that on my way to Blaine, I would fall back on my training a bit.

I back-tracked over to Fuchsia City since it was faster than going all the way back to Pallet Town.

I made my way down by the Fuchsia coast and hoped quietly that Mewl would let me Surf to Cinnabar.

Thankfully it seemed like the 1’4 cat was perfectly fine with me riding on its back, with no defiance at all. I felt confident, like I was finally getting enough gym badges to make it obey.

I'd even gotten it to listen when I needed it to use Strength in the Seafoam Islands. Things were really looking up.

I’d finally hit land and was ready to storm the Cinnabar Mansion and claim Blaine’s badge.

I was feeling pretty confident with my Charizard’s HP and level that I wanted to take on the Gym without healing at the Pokémon Center.

I had plenty of Potions and Revives in case of emergency, anyway.

All of the quiz questions were normal, except... This bizarre one. 

“You treat all your POKéMON fairly?”

Though it had been several years since I played this game, something felt off about it, like it wasn’t supposed to be there.

I half-heartedly answered yes, despite knowing it was untrue. My logic was, at the very least, that even though I as a player didn’t care about these Pokémon, maybe Red did.

”Sorry! Bad call!”

The buzzer went off and I was harassed by a trainer. I was appalled... Was the game really criticizing me as a player?

Had I hit some sort of secret flag after making Mewl faint so much? I couldn't understand what was happening.

I didn’t give myself much time to think about it though, so I healed up my Charizard with some Potions and took on Blaine.

Charizard had fainted again, so I left it up to Mewl.

I healed up my Charizard and expected Mewl to hang on like before, but it just went down with no resistance.

With my seventh gym badge in hand, I was pretty happy with my run so far. A couple more hours in and I’d be done, I thought.

I was ready to Surf north towards Pallet Town and claim my eighth and final badge.

“MEWL ignored orders!”

But I received a friendly reminder.

I had forgotten that Mewl didn’t like using HMs without being healed. I really didn’t feel like taking it to the Pokémon Center though, so I just carelessly threw a Revive at it.

Hoping that the Revive would be good enough to satisfy it and let me ride on it again, I mashed through text a few times to see if I could brute-force it to listen.

”MEWL won’t obey!”

”MEWL turned away!”

It kept bombarding me with the same defiant messages over and over, until...

“MEWL hates you.”

I was caught off-guard. This text didn’t have the same energy as the others, lacking an exclamation point. It sounded like flat, cold, genuine hatred.

I pressed A again, and attempted to order another Surf. Not necessarily because I wanted it to Surf now, but more out of a morbid fascination with such intense text.

“MEWL used instead, FLASH!”

Suddenly, like in a battle, the screen lit up totally white.

I was booted out of the party screen afterwards, and immediately noticed a distinct lack of an items menu. Had Mewl taken it from me?

Closing out of the menu, I spoke to the Pokémon now standing next to me, knowing exactly who it was supposed to be.

”Mew!”

Mew’s cry played. I already knew it.

“MEWL hacked away with CUT!”

I flinched, horrified at the thought of Mewl directly attacking my trainer.

”HM01 was destroyed!”

But then I realized, it wasn't that...

”HM03 was destroyed!” 

 Instead, Mewl had stolen my items...

”HM04 was destroyed!” 

 … And was proceeding to destroy each of my HMs, one by one.

”HM05 was destroyed!” 

 After destroying HM05, Mewl’s sprite disappeared; presumably back into its PokéBall.

I was exasperated, but quick on my wits.

I still had Fuchsia City's Pokémon Center as my last saved location, meaning I could use Abra to Teleport back to the mainland.

I was smug, thinking I'd found a loophole around Mewl's attempts to sabotage me.

”ABRA used TELEPORT!”

“ABRA ran away!”

I panicked, to say the least. I frantically scrolled around my party page. How could Abra have disappeared like that? I wasn't going to accept Mewl being my only ride back to Pallet, it was impossible.

I desperately went to the PC inside the Pokémon Center, in some vain hope that maybe Abra had just been sent there somehow.

”MEWL used STRENGTH.”

“The PC was destroyed!”

I couldn't believe it.

Mewl had gone full rogue.

I suddenly had to come to grips with the horrifying realization...

I was trapped in Cinnabar with no way off.

I went through what I can only describe as the five stages of grief.

Stage 1 - Denial

I scoured the internet for any other Pokémon in Cinnabar Mansion that I could use to escape the island.

I quickly remembered that Mewl had already destroyed my HMs and stolen my items, and realized I couldn’t catch anything.

But I did have one more plan.

If I could knock out Charizard and Mewl, I could be sent back to Fuchsia. It would take a bit of work for Charizard to eventually faint, but I was prepared to try anything.

”CHARIZARD ran away!”

But I couldn’t be prepared for my Charizard running away.

I was so shocked that I didn’t even want to send in Mewl, I just said no and fled the battle.

I fell into absolute despair. Mewl had not only ruined my chance of getting off the island, but now, even if I did, what would I do without the only Pokémon I’d been raising?

Stage 2 - Anger

I’d never thought malicious thoughts about this Mew before, just casual indifference and sometimes mild frustration. But I can’t say that I didn’t want some payback towards this Mew for wasting several perfectly good hours of my life.

I sadistically thought about how I would make it faint, and then how I would torture it over, and over, making it repeatedly faint until maybe it would measure up to Charizard’s strength.

“MEWL ENDURED the hit!” 

I couldn't stop myself from shouting "NO."

Despite Mewl’s apparent injuries, it hung on with one HP.

Again, and again, no matter what I did. No matter what Pokémon I faced.

It seemed like nothing could poison it, burn it, kill it.

Then, it dawned on me…

Maybe this was what Mewl wanted all along?

Stage 3 - Bargaining

Mewl’s stubbornness and special ability that made it unable to faint...

It took Mewl a long time to faint its first real opponent, due to its low level, but in the end, it grew.

I checked Mewl’s summary for some sort of sign, anything at all, that this was what I was supposed to be doing. It stared at me with its vacant, unreadable expression...

Perhaps it was shocked I had battled with it? Whatever the case, it wasn’t staring at me with hostility anymore...

So it was silently agreed between us, then. Mewl and I, we did our first ever grinding session.

It took a few hours, but Mewl’s level was growing steadily. Things seemed to be going well, until...

We ran into our first wild Ditto.

I thought it was strange, having not found a Ditto for all this time I'd spent in Cinnabar Mansion, but I didn’t see any trouble with fighting it, so I just let the battle progress.

Stage 4 - Depression

The Ditto transformed into Mewl, who appeared to have a sad expression on its face.

I quickly pulled out of the battle screen and into my party to see if something had changed with Mewl.

I checked to see Mewl, who had that same sad expression as the Ditto. Its status had changed from "OK" to a worrying "...".

I knew something was wrong, so I fled from that battle and every battle afterwards.

Though I had avoided it before on hopes of somehow escaping to Fuchsia City, I gave it all up to heal Mewl, who had risked life and limb to impress me.

After it was healed, I checked its summary again.

Though it had fully healed, it still had that depressed look in its eyes. I couldn’t understand want it wanted. I didn’t know what it needed.

But I realized that it was getting pretty late, and I wanted to get to sleep soon. I would have to leave the game on, and leave Mewl behind.

That was when it hit me.

Could it be possible that Mewl knew I hadn’t saved? Did Mewl somehow understand that no matter if I saved or didn’t save, it would disappear when I turned the game off?

I hadn’t really thought about it until now, but Mewl was more special than any other Pokémon I’d ever played with.

And if I turned the game off, it would disappear forever.

I didn’t know how to feel about that.

I went out of the Pokémon Center to reflect about this with Mewl.

I still wanted to finish the adventure with it, if it would let me.

Stage 5 - Acceptance

“MEWL doesn’t want to go.”

That was okay, I thought.

I realized that even if I went with Mewl to the Pokémon League, and won, then the game would return to the title screen and not save my progress.

Maybe Mewl understood that, too.

So then we were at an impasse, together on Cinnabar Island.

I didn’t know what to do. Even if this Mew was special, even if I genuinely believed it was real, I couldn’t just keep my GameBoy on forever. What would anyone else think?

I decided that for the first time in this entire run, I wanted to save my game. I didn't want to turn it off just yet, but at least save, as some sort of precautionary measure.

I hoped, that in the event the GameBoy turned off for whatever reason, a miracle would occur.

”Would you like to SAVE your MEW?”

It seemed that the game knew exactly what my heart wanted, and I selected yes.

Then, all of a sudden, my game turned off. Not due to low battery or anything, but it just turned off.

I panicked for a moment, and quickly switched the game back on.

It was gone. The save file was gone.

Or, rather, it was never there to begin with.

[jostepherjoestar]

Drawing inspiration to this request —> [Hi dear 🖤 La Squadra's reaction to their fem reader's rough and low voice. She is a La Squadra member] May I please request what would La Squadra's reaction be to a member that never speaks who finally speaks for the first time and she has the sweetest and cutest voice ever despite looking very intimidating and cold? Turns out, she's a total shy sweetheart that just looks cold and intimidating since she's part of la squadra

Quiet and intimidating La Squadra member who actually has the cutest voice (fem reader)

Before we start, I’ve reached 100 followers!!! Thank you all so much, I wanna squish all of ur lovely faces!!! Now onto the fun stuff! Made these a bit longer in celebration :))) they’re more like little scenarios

Risotto

Risotto liked the fact that you were more quiet than the rest of his team. It’s not that he hates the noise, it’s just a nice change to have someone who rarely even speaks... now that he thinks of it you’ve actually never spoken around them. He liked that the two of you had the same aura surrounding you, intimidating and perhaps a bit cold.

He’d grown curious to what your voice may sound like, his ears like that of an alert cat whenever he heard an unfamiliar voice around him. Always disappointed to see that it wasn’t you.

What he didn’t know is that you were just horribly shy and never thought you had anything useful to add to the wild conversations. (your own thoughts were wrong ofc)

When you finally spoke for the first time it was to ask about details of a mission, Risotto and you were going on a mission together, alone, for the first time and he hadn’t provided that much details. Which unbeknownst to you was his plan all along. He can be a sly bastard.

You quietly asked him what the plan was after you got his attention when stepping into his office. He couldn’t believe his own ears when he heard the sweetest little voice coming from you. Of course he asked you to repeat yourself and when you did, louder than before, he had to try his hardest to cover up the massive smile growing on his lips.

On the mission itself, you talked more and more to him, warming up to conversation. Risotto felt his heart skip a beat every time you did. He never knew how much he’d appreciate such a cute one like you. 

Formaggio

Formaggio had been trying his hardest to make you talk or even produce any sound at all. Telling joke after joke, calling your name out in the middle of a different conversation so you’d perhaps even just say “Yes, what?”. He’d even tried scaring you, using his stand to shrink himself and hiding behind the coffee machine.

Of course his prank didn’t work, you almost threw him in the trash with an unamused look. But whenever Formaggio truly did his best you walked away from him with a cold look. When you were in a different room you’d silently laugh or let out a big sigh, if only he knew how shy you were and that you’d love to talk to him, but it was yourself stopping you from it.

He liked you, he knew that, you knew that. But when it came to your opinion on him, he actually wasn’t so sure and it gnawed at him. He’d grown a bit insecure, to calm his own thoughts he decided he’d ask you tonight.

He came into your room with a quiet knock while he opened the door, seeing you at your little desk reading a book. Greeting you, he sounded a bit off which worried you, you doing your best to stay stoic. “Do you like me? You know, as a person? Cause I get the feeling you don’t.” the question visibly surprised you. You put down the book and walked over to him, he wasn’t sure what you were planning by the sweat starting to form on his forehead. “Of course I like you Formaggio.” you said in earnest, holding the side of his arm.

That’s it, the man is now a mere puddle on the floor. Your soft, sweet voice mixed with the utter shock has made him melt. He excused himself with a smile and ran out of your room yelling in the hallway that you liked him. He wanted all of Italy to know.

Illuso

Illuso had been intrigued by your cold and quiet nature. Every chance he got he studied your behaviour, trying to figure you out. He didn’t really find out much, only being able to study your habits. In his mirror world he tried his best to observe you, trying to even include a few new extra mirrors in your room.

But after finding weird new mirrors you’d grown suspicious of him and threw them all out. Your room would be a mirror free zone to Illuso’s chagrin. You didn’t dislike him, it was just that his sneaking and investigating bothered you. At least the others made an attempt to talk to you.

He grew tired of waiting, frustrated even that you never talked and he was having a hard time figuring you out. He was good assassin, confident in his own skills. He had to think outside of the box to get you to talk or just catch you doing it.

After much thought he decided on a plan. No plan. He accepted that everything he would concoct would just push you away, a top notch assassin like you knew when they were being played with.

When you woke up today, you felt light and the soft sunshine made you feel positively energised. Everything around you was quiet, no conversations downstairs, no clattering in the kitchen, no showers running. You hummed along to a song while brushing your hair in the bathroom, for a moment feeling completely at ease.

The door was open, not having bothered to close it since no one seemed to be home. But Illuso was. He stood in the doorway, a smile on his face, it finally worked. The soft melodic hums putting him on fluffy pink clouds, wanting the cute voice to soothe him to sleep tonight. Content with what he’d heard, he silently walked away. You knew he was there and honestly relieved that he didn’t approached you, you’d have turned bright red  from embarrassment if he did.

Prosciutto

Prosciutto sighed after realising he’d have another Risotto to look out for. Don’t get him wrong he had great respect and love towards his capo and good friend, but he worried about him. Perhaps too much. So he did what he did to Risotto before. Give you space.

He know’s that pushing you or forcing you to talk would only have the opposite effect. The silent communication you had of nods was enough for now.

The way you were around him made him softer, to his own surprise and chagrin. Of course he cared for his teammates and capo, but don’t let them know all the time and so openly. They’ll get cocky.

It comforted you knowing the space he was giving you, thankful that he hadn’t pushed you. In the beginning you were a little intimidated by him, his stern looks really chilled you to the bone. But his deep voice and (weirdly aggressive) pep talks showed you his more approachable side.

You had tried multiple times to talk to him, you’d built up your courage and were so close to opening your mouth to talk when someone always came and interrupted. Sometimes you even felt a little relieved when they did.

On a quiet afternoon Prosciutto invited you to the empty sitting room, small espresso cups in hand. You felt a little nervous since it was just the two of you, hand shaking a little as you grabbed your cup. The shaking causing you to spill coffee on your knee, the hot liquid burning a red spot on the exposed skin of your leg. You sighed out a ‘Merda!’ as you patted you leg dry.

A sly smile growing on Prosciutto’s face, finally your little facade had cracked a little. You could hear him chuckle in front of you. “Who knew such a sweet voice could produce such nasty words.”

Pesci

This man was quite intimidated by you and your cold exterior. It made you laugh in private since you were shy and sweet just like Pesci. Because you could see your reflection in him, you hung out around him a lot. Just silently watching tv together, sitting next to him at meetings, cooly handing him your leftovers at dinner when he still had room left for more.

It made Pesci blush, your sweet gestures not matching the cold expressions. But on the inside you felt so comfortable and perhaps a bit jealous that Pesci wasn’t as shy as you and expressed himself so honestly.

But the cold expression and the limited eye contact during you friendly offerings were not because you didn’t like him, it was because if your eyes met you’d also be blushing at the sweet man in front of you.

Still, after all your silent offerings he was not assured to approach you by himself. He was cautious and also didn’t want to push you out of your comfort if you didn’t feel like talking. He’d create awkward silences that didn’t even need to be uncomfortable, he just couldn’t help himself.

Whenever there was time, between the jobs that offered enough physical training, you’d all train together. On one of these days, everyone was working hard, sparring, lifting and running to built up stamina. You were done with your exercises, muscles tired, body sweaty but feeling the rush of the after workout bliss. Pesci was on his last set of arm lifts when you walked over.

His arms were shaking and it looked like he was on his last straw. The bar resting on his chest as he took deep breaths. You stood behind him, signalling you’d spot him for safety. His strong arms shaking under the weights, struggling to do the last lift. “Come on Pesci, I know you can do it.” Your sweet encouragement was loud enough for him to hear but not so loud that the others noticed.

With one last grunt he pushed up the weights, an excited sound ringing out loudly as he puts the weights back on the rests. His face seemed red from the strain but the goofy smile betrayed him, it was you that did that to him.

Melone

Oh little melon man figured you out so fast. He was of course polite and friendly to you, always the gentleman (you’d be surprised at how nice and considerate he could be) but behind all this he was waiting patiently.

He knew as soon as he noticed your cold facade and silent nature that you were hiding a sweetness behind it. But he was excruciatingly patient, to a degree that he didn’t even care anymore about hearing your voice or seeing you smile for once. Just the excitement of waiting for you to crack is what invigorated him.  

His behaviour worried you, you’d known from seeing him interact with the others what he was like and it was blatantly obvious that he treated you different. He left you alone, didn’t push of prod, didn’t joke around to extract a reaction.

You were already shy but the way he was acting made you even more nervous. Maybe perhaps a little angry since you knew the game he was playing and you felt yourself losing. The way he acted actually making you want to talk to him, wanting him to give you the attention he gave to others so teasingly.

You decided you were going to play along, while also working against him. At least trying to reverse the effect of his game. You’d dress a little more provocatively, bending and pushing your best assets forwards whenever he was near, knowing that was an easy way to get his attention.

You weren’t even sure you wanted him in that way, pining over your body. But you had to play dirty if that’s the way he did things. But nothing worked, every attempt failed. He didn’t budge, his sly smiles only lasting longer, he knew he was winning.

Melone was sitting comfortably on his legs on the couch, he looked lost in thought when you approached. You made sure no one was around. Defeated and not even sure why you were even going to reward him. “You win, Melone.” You plopped down next to him with a deep sigh. Your sweet voice like heavenly harps at the gates of heaven to Melone’s ears. “Well played, kitten. You almost got me, maybe if you kept going you’d have actually won.” he purred while winking. Oh you could kill him right now...maybe you will. Just a little.

Ghiaccio

Ghiaccio didn’t mind your quietness at all. But he made you nervous and, afraid to set him off if you did something wrong or looked at him the wrong way. He’d notice your shoulders tense up every time he yelled, he wasn’t yelling at you though, probably at Melone.

It got him a little fired up that he made you tense, perhaps more at himself since never actually wants to be mad, it just happens. He’s been avoiding you for a while now.

You’d noticed him acting cold to you and avoiding even the slightest contact between each other. It made you wonder if it was your fault. If only there was a way to help this problem out of the way. Oh wait there is, it’s called communication. But you just couldn’t do it, not yet.

Both too stubborn or scared of talking to each other, it continued. Your teammates also noticing the air in the room get colder once Ghiaccio and you entered. Risotto and Prosciutto weren’t really sure what to do, no idea what the actual problem was, and you weren’t talking. Ghiaccio wasn’t either.

The idea sprung to Prosciutto to get you in the same room together and not let you out until you’d talked about it. And as dumb as it sounds, his plan proceeded, Ghiaccio was already in Risotto’s office, the capo also part of the plan. Luring you in was easy enough, since you didn’t know that Ghiaccio was in there already.

By god they ‘Parent Trapped’ you. You sat in the chair next to Ghiaccio who had slowly begun calming down. His tirade of insults at the closed door had already come and gone. It felt like an hour had passed, it actually did, before he began talking. “Why do you get so tense around me? I know I get angry but it’s rightfully so. There’s just so many stupid people. I’d never actually hurt you or the others. Not that much...” he sighed, finally saying what’s been on his mind.

“You’ve talked to everyone but me. Am I that horrible?” he sounded so sad when he talked, almost a whisper. You couldn’t handle your own silence anymore. “You’re not horrible, I- I just don’t know how to-.” you couldn’t string the right words together but Ghiaccio understood. Your sweet voice softening the emotions. The two of you actually hugged it out, but you’d never let Risotto or Prosciutto get the satisfaction of knowing that.

[borisbubbles]

Character analysis: Vivienne de Fer (Dragon Age Inquisition)

So, if you’ve wondered where I popped off to the past two months or so, I’m going to give you an answer - I finally bought Dragon Age Inquisition (legit on my gaming wishlist since its 2014 release) and I’ve been obsessed with it ever since. 

The main draw to this game however, isn’t so much the gameplay (if you want a game that feels similar but has better gameplay - Assassin’s Creed Odyssey is what you’d want instead), but the storytelling and particularly the character development are top notch. All nine companions are fascinating and fleshed out in such a realistic manner I’m still gasping in awe on my fifth playthrough.  Thus, a post on it is in order. It’s a bit different from my usual content, but don’t let that discourage you - clearing my head from Dragon Age will allow me to let Eurovision back in and continue my unfinished 2020 ranking.  In this post, I will be analyzing one of DAI’s most interesting characters - none other than Madame de Fer herself, Vivienne.  Now, I’m under the impression that this is a rather unpopular opinion but I absolutely love Vivienne. And no, I won’t apologize for it. As a Templar-thumping elitist with a icy, sardonic demeanor the sheer ‘Idea Of A Vivienne’ is meant to make your head spin. Dragon Age has always been a franchise in which mages are a socially surpressed group and to be confronted with a socially confident enchantress who likes Templars and seemingly supports the social shunning out of her own ambition is the walking embodiment of flippancy. 

and yet, I feel a lot of sympathy for Vivienne. 

Yes, she’s a bitch. She knows she’s one and she’s a-ok with it. I won’t argue with that. Sadly, the “Vivienne is a bitch” rhetoric also drastically sells her short. Vivienne is highly complex and her real personality is as tragic as it is twisted. 

Madame de Fer

So let’s start with what we are shown on the surface. Vivienne is a high-ranking courtier from an empire notable for its deadly, acid-laced political game. She seemingly joins the Inquisition for personal gain, to acrue reputation and power, and eventually be elected Divine (= female pope) at the end of the game. She presents herself as a despicable blend of Real Housewife, Disney Villain, and Tory Politician, all rolled into one ball of sickening, unctuous smarm. Worse, the Inquisitor has no way to rebuke Vivienne’s absurd policies and ideas. You can’t argue with her, convince her to listen to your differing viewpoints or even kick her out the Inquisition. She has a way with words where she can twist arguments around in such a fashion that she lands on top and makes the other person look like the irrational party.

“Thus speaks the Inquisitor who has made so many mature and level-headed choices so far. Such as releasion malcontents upon the population without safeguards to protect them should they turn into abominations. Very wise. I rearranged some furniture. Lives aren’t thrown into jeopardy by my actions. Perhaps a little perspective is needed.”

She’s Cersei Lannister on creatine, Dolores Umbridge on motherfucking roids. If you look at merely the surface, then yes, Vivienne looks like the worst person ever created. I love a good anti-villainess however, and she’s definitely one. 

Yet, she never actually does anything ‘evil’? Yes, she is ‘a tyrant’ as a Divine, but 1) the person saying this is Cassandra, whose dislike for mage freedom is only matched by her dislike of being sidelined 2) Divine Vivienne isn’t bad to mages either? (hold that thought, I’ll get to it). She never actually sabotages the Inquisition, no matter how low her approval with the Inquisitor gets. She never attempts to stop them, no matter how annoyed she is. She’s one of the most brutally honest companions in the cast, in fact. (It always surprises me people call her a ‘hypocrite’ - you keep using that word and it doesn’t mean what you think it means.) The ‘worst’ display of character is when she attempts to break up Sera and the Inquisitor and even then - are we going to pretend Sera isn’t a toxic, controlling girlfriend with a huge chip on her shoulder? I love Sera, but come on.  

Vivienne is a character where the storytelling rule of Show, Don’t Tell is of vital importance. The Orlesian empire is an empire built around posturing and reputation. Nobody really shows their true motivations or character, and instead builds a public façade. It’s like how the Hanar (the Jellyfish people) in Mass Effect have a Public name they use in day-to-day life, and a Personal Name for their loved-ones and inner circle. Vivienne’s ‘Public Visage’ is that of Madame de Fer - this is the Vivienne who openly relishes in power, publicly humiliates grasping anklebiters with passive-aggressive retorts, the woman who is feared and loathed by all of Orlais, and this is the Face you see for most of the game.

The real beauty of Vivienne’s character and the reason why I love her as much as I do (which is to say - a LOT) are the few moments when - what’s the phrase DigitalSpy love so much - Her Mask Slips, and you get a glimpse of the real woman underneath the hennin.

This is the Vivienne who stands by you during the Siege of Haven and approves of you when you save the villagers from Corypheus’s horde.

This is the Vivienne who comforts you when you lament the losses you suffered.

This is the Vivienne who admires you for setting an example as a mage for the rest of Thedas.

This is the Vivienne who worries about Cole’s well-being during his personal quest, momentarily forgetting who or what he is. 

This is the Vivienne who, when her approval for the Inquisitor reaches rock bottom, desperately reminds him of the suffering mages go through on a day-to-day basis because of the fear and hatred non-mages are bred to feel towards them and how this can spiral into more bloodshed without safeguards. 

This is the Vivienne who shows how deep her affection for Bastien de Ghislain truly is, by bringing you along during his dying moments. I love this scene btw. This is the only moment in the entire game where Vivienne is actually herself in the presence of the Inquisitor - needless to say, I consider anyone who deliberately spikes her potion a motherfucking psychopath ^_^)

“There is nothing here now” fuck I *almost* cried at Vivienne, get out of my head BioWare, this is WRONG -- people who delude themselves this is an irredeemable character. 

So, who is Vivienne really?

Understanding Vivienne requires recognizing that the mask and the real woman aren’t the same person. I think her relationship with Dorian is the prime example of this. I love the Vivienne/Dorian banter train, obviously - an unstoppable force of sass colliding with an unmovable wall of smarm is nothing short of a spectacle. However, there’s more to it than their highly entertaining snipes. As the incredibly gifted son of a magister, Dorian represents everything Vivienne should despise, and should be a natural enemy to her. And yet, she doesn’t and he isn’t.. Their gilded japes at each other are nothing more than verbal sparring, not dissimilar to how Krem and Iron Bull call each other names when they beat each other with sticks. In what I think is one of the most brilliantly written interactions between characters in DAI, I present Vivienne’s reaction when the Inquisitor enters a romance with Dorian:

Vivienne: I received a letter the other day, Dorian. Dorian: Truly? It's nice to know you have friends. 🙄 Vivienne: It was from an acquaintance in Tevinter expressing his shock at the disturbing rumors about your... relationship with the Inquisitor. Dorian: Rumors you were only too happy to verify, I assume. 🙃 Vivienne: I informed him the only disturbing thing in evidence was his penmanship. 🙂 Dorian: ...Oh. Thank you. 😳 Vivienne: I am not so quick to judge, darling. See that you give me no reason to feel otherwise.

Madame de Fer can never be seen directly expressing approval to a relationship between the Herald of Andraste and an ‘Evil’ Tevinter ’Magister’. By this subtle, subtle conversation, Vivienne indirectly tells Dorian that she considers him a good match for the Inquisitor and approves of the romance. It’s one of those reasons why I could never truly dislike Vivienne - between the layers of elegant poison lies a somewhat decent woman who never loses sight of the bigger picture. Not a good person maybe, but not one without some redeeming qualities.

The crux of Vivienne’s personality is that she, like all DAI companions, is a social outcast. She’s a mage in a fantasy setting where mages are psionically linked to demons, and grew up in a country where the majority religion has openly advocated the shunning and leashing of mages (’Magic exists to serve man’ - the Chantry is so, so vile in this game.). Vivienne’s “gift” was discovered so early in her life that she can barely remember her parents. Vivienne grew up in a squalid boarding school, learning from a young age that she’s dangerous and her talents need to be tamed and curbed. She is also terrified of demons, as her banters with Cole point out:

Cole: You're afraid. You don't have to be. Vivienne: My dear Inquisitor, please restrain your pet demon. I do not want it addressing me. Inquisitor: He's not doing any harm, Vivienne. Vivienne: It's a demon, darling. All it can do is harm. Cole: Everything bright, roar of anger as the demon rears. No, I will not fall. No one will control me ever again. Cole: Flash of white as the world comes back. Shaking, hollow, Harrowed, but smiling at templars to show them I'm me. Cole: I am not like that. I can protect you. If Templars come for you, I will kill them. Vivienne: Delightful. 😑

Vivienne’s Harrowing is implied to have been such a traumatizing event to her that she’s developed a pavlovian fear of demons ever since. (Hence her hostility towards Cole.). Vivienne is fully aware of the inherent dangers of magic, and projects this onto all other mages. 

Besides, given how Dragon Age has a history with mages doing all sorts of fucked up shit, ranging from blood magic, murder, demonic possession and actual terrorism (yes, *ElthinaBITCH* had it coming, but let’s not pretend like Anders/Justice was anything other than a terrorist), Vivienne’s policies of controlled monitoring and vigilance are actually significantly more sensible than the options of ‘unconditionally freeing every mage all over Thedas’ and ‘reverting back to the status quo before the rebellion’. They’re flawed policies, obviously. When Vivienne says “mages” she pictures faceless silhouettes foremost and not herself. Regardless, unlike Cassandra and Leliana, Vivienne is aware of the fear others harbour for her kind, and how hard it is to overcome such perceptions.  

Additionally, Vivienne’s a foreigner. She is an ethnic Rivaini, a culture associated with smugglers and pirates (Isabela from DAO and DA2 is half-Rivaini). This adds an additional social stigma, again pointed out by Cole:

Cole: Stepping into the parlor, hem of my gown snagged, no, adjust before I go in, must look perfect. Vivienne: My dear, your pet is speaking again. Do silence it. Cole: Voices inside. Marquis Alphonse. Cole: "I do hope Duke Bastien puts out the lights before he touches her. But then, she must disappear in the dark." Cole: Gown tight between my fingers, cold all over. Unacceptable. Wheels turn, strings pull. Cole: He hurt you. You left a letter, let out a lie so he would do something foolish against the Inquisition. A trap. Vivienne: Inquisitor, as your demon lacks manners, perhaps you could get Solas to train it.

This is the only palpable example of the casual racism Vivienne has to endure on a daily basis - Marquis Alphonse is a stupid, bigoted pillowhead who sucks at The Game, but remember - Vivienne only kills him if the Inquisitor decides to be a butthurt thug. She is aware that for every Alphonse, there are dozens of greasy sycophants who think exactly like he does, and will keep it under wraps just to remain in her good graces. 

Finally, there’s the social position Vivienne manufactured for herself, which is the weak point towards her character imo. Remember, this woman is a commoner by birth. She doesn’t even have a surname. Through apparently sheer dumb luck (or satanic intervention) she basically fell into the position of Personal Mage to the Duke of Ghislain. Regardless, ‘Personal mages’ were the rage in Orlesian nobility, and the prestigious families owned by them like one may own a pet or personal property. By somehow becoming Bastien de Ghislain’s mistress and using his influence, "Madame de Fer” liberated herself from all the social stigmata which should have pinned her down into a lowly courtier rank and turned the largely ceremonial office of “Court Enchanter” into a position of respect and power. This is huge move towards mage emancipation by the way, in a society where, again, Mages are feared and shunned and are constantly bullied, emasculated and taught to hate their talents. Vivienne is a shining example of what mages can become at the height of their power. Power she has, mind you, never actually abused before her Divine election. Vivienne’s actions will forever be under scrutiny not because of who she is, but because of what she is. The Grand Game can spit her out at any moment, which will likely result in her death. 

Inquisitor: “You seem to be enjoying yourself, Vivienne?” Vivienne: “It’s The Game, darling. If I didn’t enjoy it, I’d be dead by now.”

Whether Vivienne was using Bastien for her own gain or whether she truly loved him isn’t a case of or/or. It’s a case of and/and. The perception that she was using Bastien makes Vivienne more fearsome and improves her position in the Grand Game, but deep down, I have no doubts truly loved him. Remember, Vivienne’s position at the Orlesian court was secure. She had nothing to gain by saving Bastien’s life, but she attempted to anyway. That Bastien’s sister is a High Cleric doesn’t matter - Vivienne can be elected Divine regardless of her personal quest’s resolution. She loved him, period. 

No, I don’t think Vivienne is a good person. She treats those she deems beneath her poorly, like Sera, Solas, Cole and Blackwall (characters I like less than Vivienne), which I think is the #1 indicator for a Bad Personality. But I don’t think she qualifies as ‘Evil’ either and I refuse to dismiss the beautiful layering of her character. I genuinely believe Vivienne joined the Inquisition not just for her personal gain, but also out of idealism, similar to Dorian (again, Cole is 100% correct in pointing out the similarities between Dorian’s and Vivienne’s motivations for joining, as discomforting it is to her). 

In her mind, Vivienne sees herself as the only person who can emancipate the mages without bloodshed - her personal accomplishments at the Orlesian court speak for themselves. Vivienne isn’t opposed to mage freedom - she worries for the consequences of radical change, as she believes Orlesian society unprepared for the consequences. Hence why she’s perfectly fine with a Divine Cassandra. Hence why her fellow mages immediately elect her Grand Enchanter of the new Circle. 

Hence why Vivienne is so terrified by the Inquisitor’s actions if her disapproval gets too low. The Inquisitor has the power to completely destroy everything she has built and fought for during her lifetime. Remember: Vivienne’s biggest fear is irrelevance - there’s no greater irrelevance than having your life achievements reverse-engineered by the accidental stumbling of some upstart nobody. This is the real reason why she joins, risks her life and gets her hands dirty - the only person whose competence Vivienne trusts, is Vivienne’s own. 

Even as Divine Victoria, I’d say she’s not bad, at all actually. Vivienne has the trappings of an an Enlightened Despot, maintaining full control, while simultaneously granting mages more responsibility and freedom, slowly laying the foundations to make mages more accepted and less persecuted in southern Thedas. Given that Ferelden is a feudal fiefdom and Orlais is an absolute monarchy, this is a fucking improvement are you kidding me. (Wait did he just imply Vivienne is secretly the best Divine - hmm, probably not because Cass/Leliana have better epilogues - but realistically speaking, yes, Viv should be the best Divine and it’s bullshit that the story disagrees.) 

Underneath the countless layers of smarm, frost and seeming callousness, lies a fiercely intelligent and brave woman, whose ideals have been twisted into perversion by the cruel, ungrateful world around her. Envy her for her ability to control her destiny, but know that envy is what it is.  

The flaw in Vivienne’s character isn’t so much the ‘tyranny’ or the ‘bitchiness’ or the 'smarm’. Her flaw is her false belief that she is what the mages need the most. Her belief that her competence gives her the prerogative to serve the unwashed mage masses... by ruling over them. For all intents and purposes, Vivienne is an Orlesian Magister and this will forever be the brilliant tragedy of her character. She was created by a corrupt institution that should, by all accounts fear and loathe her but instead embraced her. It’s that delirious irony that makes Vivienne de Fer one of the best fictional characters in RPG history.  the next post will be Eurovision-related. :-) 

[tartagilicious]

[CN] victor’s double seventh/qixi date (eng)

this translation was a whole trip mythological aus are the best 😭 for this date, because his name is important to the plot, I decided to keep it as his CN name, Li Zeyan!

all of the qixi translations this year were divided up by a small group of translators, and you can find them on their blogs: @cheri-translates​ did Gavin’s, @redqueenschoice​ did Shaw’s and Lucien’s (though they’re available on Cheri’s blog), @skyholders​ did Kiro’s, and of course, I did Victor’s!

— 

Soldier A: Where did you go?

Soldier B: There is no other way, they must have run into the woods!

Officer A: Chase them!

The voices of the officers and soldiers faded away. I slowly rose from the riverbank and made sure there was no one around. Finally, after a while passed, I stood up straight and took a few deep breaths.

Gripping the peach wood sword in one hand, I carefully picked up my skirt and prepared to step ashore.

??: who are you?

MC: !

As soon as I was about to act, my arm was suddenly pulled tightly, and the sword in my hand almost fell.

I turned my head to see a man behind me squinting at me, and his expression became even more gloomy when he saw my sword. With horns on top of his head, and a tail behind him trailing up to my legs, he seemed to want to impede my actions…

??: This sword…

MC: D-Demon!

I yelled desperately to avoid him, but he was too strong, my attempts ultimately having no effect.

Soldier B: I heard her voice! Over there!

Hearing the voices of officers and soldiers coming from the fork of the mountain road, me and the “Youkai” in front of me were both stunned.

[youkai (妖怪) are a class of supernatural monsters in japanese folklore, and the term doesn’t translate to anything directly, but traditionally means demon or spirit]

I was suddenly reminded of the importance of keeping the peach sword. I didn’t know where I borrowed the strength from, but I broke free of his shackles and forced him back into the water.

MC: Demon, since you haven’t had time to eat me, I won't involve you… so, you hide here, I have to go first!

I picked up my skirt to run once again, but the soaked clothes had since become heavier, and I almost couldn’t even stand firm when I left the river. A very light sigh seemed to be heard behind me, and I was pulled back into the water by force, my back pressing against a warm chest.

MC: you--

“Youkai” ignored me, just casually glancing at the soldiers and officers passing by. I followed his gaze and saw that the vines on the edge of the cliff moved by themselves, entangling the ankles of the officers and soldiers and throwing them back onto the mountain road.

MC: You… be merciful. They are annoying, but not deserving of death.

??: They are not qualified to be killed by me.

As soon as the voice fell, the several officers and soldiers got up and stumbled away. I had just breathed a sigh of relief when the “Youkai” behind me refocused on me.

??: What crime did you commit?

MC: I didn’t commit any crime! I only got my belonging back, it’s those people who are wrong.

I hugged the sword in my arms angrily, and noticing his gaze on me, I immediately regained my bearings.

MC: well… thank you for helping me just now, but can you please not eat me?

??: Didn’t you dare to push me into the water?

He pointed to the peach wood sword in my arms.

??: Is that what opens the barrier?

Barrier?

I looked down thoughtfully. I once heard my father say that there is a kind of barrier that can seal away monsters, and only a peach wood sword stained with one’s blood can break open the entrance. Since more than ten years ago, outside the barrier is no longer home to monsters, but--

MC: could it be that you are… the Guardian Saint Black Dragon?

MC: it’s really a dragon horn… the scales on your tail are so shiny! And wow.. Your clothes are satin. Did you make it yourself?

[stop it mc you’re embarrassing the both of us ;;]

Black Dragon: …

I didn’t expect that I would meet the Guardian saint, and my curiosity was overwhelming, so I forgot how fierce he was just now. Just when I wanted to study his hair again, he suddenly grabbed my hand and pressed me firmly into the shore.

Black Dragon: Have you touched enough?

MC: um…

Black Dragon: You are also a criminal..

I caught his dangerous gaze and swallowed nervously. His gaze moved down my face and finally stopped on the peach wood sword.

Black Dragon: Open the barrier again.

MC: What?

Black Dragon: Open it, and I can count it as you making up for just now.

I don’t know what the consequences of letting the Guardian saint leave without authorisation is, but I still obey what I feel in my heart and nod in agreement. The Black Dragon released his hold on me, but he kept his eyes on me as I walked away, as if he didn’t trust me to honour my promise.

MC: Lord Guardian, do you dislike humans?

Black Dragon: I just don’t trust them.

MC: hmm…. Humans can be very cunning. Someone did you a favour today, and you may be asked to return the favour later.

Black Dragon: ...What do you want to say?

I watched his expression and carefully considered my words.

MC: Now that I’ve promised to open the barrier, I will not break that promise. But, you’ve also seen the situation just now. If I go back like this, I definitely will not be able to keep this sword.

Black Dragon: Is it important to you?

MC: Yeah… My family has been slaying monsters for generations, and this sword is our heirloom. A while ago, the owner of the Jianzhu Workshop stole it. I took it back, but it seems that I’ll have to hide in the future.

Black Dragon: You come from a family that eliminates monsters, so why are you still afraid of them?

I recalled the exaggerated reaction just now, and chuckled embarrassedly.  

MC: Because in the ten years since you were locked away, the world has been very peaceful. We have become accustomed to a world without monsters.

MC: Suddenly seeing someone that’s so different from me, of course I’ll be shocked…

The Black Dragon raised his eyebrows without further comment.

MC: Why don’t we make an exchange! I will help you open the barrier, and you will help me settle the situation. This must not be difficult for you.

Black Dragon: This is the “favour” you want me to pay back?

MC: Yes. I will set the conditions right now as to raise the value in the future. This is an exchange where you can make profit without losing anything.

The Black Dragon was silent for a while, and finally nodded gently

Black Dragon: I can help you, but you must protect important things in the future. Additionally, I won’t help you a second time.

MC: I will! Thank you, Guardian Lord!

I took him down the path and into the city, brainstorming how to have him move around the city without obstacles.

MC: By the way, when we go into town, is it possible that you can hide the horns and tail?

Black Dragon: I can.

He lowered his eyes and blinked, and the dragon horns and tails disappeared.

MC: Ok…. I still need to know your name.

Black Dragon: You do not need to know.

MC: Then, how do you expect me to call you in the city? Are you still called the Guardian Saint?

Black Dragon: That’s not possible.

MC: Lord Black Dragon? Lord?

He frowned and stared at me, not seeming to like my options. I racked my brain to think of more titles, and he sighed, seeming to have come to a decision.

Black Dragon: My surname is Li.

--

In order to avoid the officers and soldiers who might reappear at any time, we were cautious all the way before finally returning home along the right path. However, just as I opened the door, the voice I didn’t want to hear sounded from behind me.

??: Yo, isn’t this that little robber? I didn’t expect to run into people not yet caught by the government today.

The owner of Jianzhu Workshop actually had a group of people wait by my house! I hurriedly hid the peach wood sword behind my back, and stepped forward to block the Black Dragon.

MC: You stole my things, and are so embarrassed that you want the government to arrest me?

Boss: No one saw me steal your things, but many people saw you steal things from my store. What are you going to do?

Most of the people behind him responded and began to surround me. I’m suddenly nervous and at a loss. But, then I see the Black Dragon standing beside me with his arms lifted slightly.

Those who came close seemed to hit an invisible wall, bumping one by one and falling backwards. No matter how many times they tried, they didn’t make any ground.

Boss: T-This is magic! You are monsters!

The group of people looked on at us in horror and kept backing away. The boss ushered them away disdainfully and drew his sword.

Boss: You turned out to have a monster as a helper, but don’t think that this will scare me!

After speaking, he flew forward and leaped, with the sharp tip of his sword barreling straight towards my face. I subconsciously closed my eyes, but the coolness of metal breaking through air did not come as expected.

I hesitated for a moment before slowly opening my eyes, and saw that the boss’s figure was stagnated in the air, and the tip of his sword had stopped less than three inches from my face. In the next second, he also bounced far away like his men had before him, and the sword fell on the ground with a crisp clang.

Boss: What kind of monster is this… cough cough… it’s so powerful.

I secretly glanced at the Black Dragon next to me. He still stood there quietly, as if he hadn’t paid attention to the scene just now.

The boss reluctantly stood up with his sword and walked towards us, but stopped halfway obediently under the gaze of the Black Dragon.

Boss: I can’t beat you anyway, so let’s be honest with each other. I want that sword to conquer the Black Dragon. You should have heard that legend, right? The peach wood sword that has eliminated a demon -- as long as it’s stained with the blood of the Guardian Saint, he will surrender to me.

Boss: Now that the sword is in your hands, as long as you agree to cooperate with me, I can give you a share of the reward as compensation.

MC: It’s too vain to do that!

Boss: Mankind has been eliminating demons for many years, isn’t this point of return justified?

The surrounding temperature seemed to drop suddenly, and I held my sword tighter.

MC: Don’t even think about it. Xiao Li, don’t listen to his nonsense. Let’s tie him up and send him to the government!

I yelled this with a strong momentum, but the fingers hidden under my sleeve secretly hooked onto the Black Dragon’s hand and shook, hoping that he would not mind the disrespectful name. He glanced at me unhappily, but still moved his fingers, making the owner unable to escape.

Seeing some onlookers appeared nearby, I pulled the Black Dragon back, wanting to end this farce as soon as possible.

MC: Everyone is watching. If you still want to keep the Jianzhu Workshop in business, you should move on quickly and forget the ideas you shouldn’t have.

Boss: ….

MC: If you don’t speak, I’ll assume that you agree.

Black Dragon: He is speechless now.

I was stunned for a moment, looking at the flushing boss. But I looked at the Black Dragon and suddenly understood. So, I cleared my throat and deliberately amplified the sound.

MC: Now that you’ve realised your mistakes, go to the government and confess your guilt honestly. As long as you are willing to tell the truth this time, I will not care too much. I believe that the government will give us a fair verdict.

--

After testifying with the government, I locked the door of my house and lit a fire in the corner of the yard. Since the Black Dragon was trapped behind the barrier here, many legends that do not tell the truth have emerged, gradually ranging from spreading his divine power to how to conquer him.

Many seniors believed that the peach wood sword would be abused by people with ulterior motives, so they wanted to destroy the sword. But, it used to be a glory in the family and it was a relic of my father’s. I have always cherished it very much and am not willing to destroy it.  

Until now, I have not really realised how disturbing its existence is.

The wooden sword was thrown into the flame, and the flame seemed to have received my worry, and quickly rose to swallow it. I waited until the flame went out and I doused the embers before returning to the house.

The Black Dragon was not there, and the window facing the black dragon was open. I hurried to the window and heard a little noise coming from the pond.

As soon as I slipped out, I saw the Black Dragon immersed in the pond water, seeming to be examining his own strength. The water around him seemed to diverge and gather, but only for a moment before it suddenly fell back into the pool, revealing his figure. He leaned casually on the bank, his slender fingers outstretched slightly.

The falling flowers on the water floated back onto the shore, embossed under the roots of the trees. The hanging water curtain not far away turned into layers of mist with his simple instruction, and fell onto the other branches with a crisp rustling noise.

For a while, I so surprised that I could hear nothing but the beating of my own heart in my chest.

This is… the strength that has always protected us.

In some kind of broad tenderness, this casual moment silenced the whole world.

He has a small wound on his body that is slowly bleeding, but he doesn’t seem to care. At this time, he had long faded away from his initial vigilance and suspicion, as if he had just found a comfortable place to nurse his fatigue.

Looking at this scene, I suddenly thought that if I had looked at his eyes more when we first met, I definitely wouldn’t have misunderstood his identity. Such a clear and quiet gaze could only belong to a truly powerful being.

Black Dragon: Don’t hide, come out.

MC: Sorry, I didn’t mean to peek on purpose… I thought you were gone.

Black Dragon: I am indeed ready to leave.

Hearing him say this, I felt a little reluctant.

Black Dragon: But I still have a question for you.

MC: What’s the problem?

Black Dragon: Why did you reject that person just now?

I was stunned for a moment, and then realised what he was referring to.

MC: ...The person stealing other people’s things is not credible, and I’m not interested in the conditions he offered. What’s more, is that the sword in my family has been used for generations to eliminate evil, and it cannot hurt a Guardian Saint who brings peace.

I couldn’t help but glance at his wound, and found a handkerchief in my pocket and handed it over.

MC: Why are you hurt?

He turned away slightly, his expression a little unnatural.

Black Dragon: The yard is too small and there are too many trees.

I looked at the small branches scattered around the pond and smirked internally. Naturally, this place can’t be compared with the vast forest. He obviously hasn’t adapted to the new area yet.

MC: Your blood seems to be very important, so wait for me to help you bandage it.

The Black Dragon looked at me, smiled lightly, and grabbed my wrist.

Black Dragon: The legend of the peach sword is false.

MC: What?

Black Dragon: Do you really want to hear more about it?

Looking into his smiling eyes, I almost lost my consciousness and nodded subconsciously. With a little force in his hand, he drew me closer, and the low voice sounded through my ears.

Black Dragon: The conditions that make me surrender never come from other things.

Black Dragon: You asked my name before. Do you know its true meaning?

--

Black Dragon: No way.

MC: I’m really fine!

Black Dragon: If I say no, it means no.

MC: But there is no other way. You’re a guest and a noble Guardian saint, I can't possibly let you sleep on the ground, right?

Black Dragon: …

Considering that the Guardian Saint was injured in my home, I warmly invited him to stay overnight, and he gave me the chance “to make up for the past”. I had taken the initiative to bandage the wound and make dinner for him, but after a smooth night, I suddenly hit a wall in sleeping.

I forgot that my cabin has limited space and only one bed. So, I was going to sleep on the floor, but he didn’t allow it. I had forgotten about the possibility of sleeping in the same bed, so, after thinking about it, I carried the quilt on the ground onto the bed.

Ignoring his surprised gaze, I first climbed into the innermost side of the bed, turned my back to him and patted the empty space behind me.

MC: If nothing else, I sleep very soundly!

I eavesdropped on the man behind me, and after a long silence, I finally heard the sound of the quilt being lifted once again.

The night was still deep, but we laid still for a long time. I still couldn’t sleep. Though, I still remember what he said to me by the pond--

Black Dragon: Names are a curse.

MC: Lord Guardian, are you asleep?

Black Dragon: ...Not yet.

MC: I have a question. Since the name is a kind of curse, many people usually call me, so why didn’t I feel it?

Black Dragon: Because you are all ordinary people.

MC: Is that right…

My curiosity flared up again.

MC: Lord Guardian, my name is ___. Since I am called ordinary, can I ask the unusual Guardian saint to recite it?

I waited for a long time, and the person behind me didn’t respond, as if he didn’t want to acknowledge my whim. I was beginning to grow restless, so I tightened the quilt corner and leaned against the bed.

Black Dragon: Li Zeyan.

MC: ...What?

Li Zeyan: My name. Go to bed now and you’ll still remember it.

MC: !

MC: Did you really just tell me that? Is it okay to?

Li Zeyan: ...If you dare not accept it, I can make you forget now.

MC: Wait, wait! I accept! But, if this isn’t a mantra, does it matter if i recite it?

Li Zeyan: You can give it a try.

MC: ..Li Zeyan

Li Zeyan: Good.

Li Zeyan responded reluctantly and put out the candle. I waited for a while, and it was quiet behind me, as if nothing happened. I’ve been so overwhelmed by the excitement of knowing his name that even in the dark, I'm not willing to close my eyes.

MC: Li Zeyan?

My answer was another stretch of silence.

I grabbed the quilt, and an uncontrollable impulse that could no longer be subdued was relieved through the curling of my lips. So, my brain began whirring and three words suddenly came out.

[she says three words because Victor’s chinese name, Li Zeyan, is characterised like this: 李泽言]

MC: Li Zeyan.

As soon as I was finished speaking, I felt that the bed next to me suddenly sank, my shoulder was caught, and I was pulled over. Before I could even utter an exclamation, I met Li Zeyan’s close face.

Li Zeyan: What are you trying to do?

It seems that every time I get close to him, I can’t think, I can only let the thoughts in my head slip to my lips.

MC: I just think your name sounds nice. I wanted to say again.

Li Zeyan seemed to be taken aback, and his hand holding me loosened.

Li Zeyan: Have you said it enough now? Shut up and sleep when you’ve had enough.

MC: But, I still want to hear you say my name. You know, everything must be exchanged in the human world, and I will sleep only when you say it.

Li Zeyan had probably never heard of such a request before and stopped talking, seeming to be judging if I was joking or not. Seeing that I still met his gaze firmly, he spoke word from word after all.

Li Zeyan: ___.

MC: !

I immediately covered my face, detached from his arm, and retreated to the other side of the bed.

MC: I-I promise to stop talking! I’ll sleep now!

Li Zeyan: ……

However, even when the room was quiet again, my noisy heartbeat did not calm down. Is this the so-called “curse”? This curse is really powerful. No no, it’s the “unusual” Guardian saint that is the most powerful.

I sigh quietly. It seems that I won’t be able to sleep tonight.

The next day, I woke up amidst a strange noise. I opened the window and looked out at the situation on the street. After recalling the day, I remembered that the Qixi festival has arrived.

I turned my head and looked at the other side of the bed: it was empty.

I quickly cleaned myself up and opened the door. I saw Li Zeyan leaning against the door and looking in the direction of the main street.

MC: Good morning.... Li Zeyan.

Li Zeyan glanced at me, and nodded stiffly to communicate a response.

Li Zeyan: Why is it so noisy outside?

I looked at the hint of curiosity in his eyes and suggested with a smile.

MC: If you’re interested, do you wanna go out with me?

The Qixi Festival has always been the most lively summer festival. Stalls have been set up early on the main street to sell all kinds of novel and interesting gadgets. I chose a booth at random and took him over to see it.

MC: Look, it’s a black dragon puppet!

The puppet was dressed in a colorful cloak, and the dragon’s horns and tail were swollen with cotton. I snuck a look at Li Zeyan, and he immediately frowned in disgust.

Li Zeyan: Too exaggerated. There’s no need to look like that.

MC: But it looks so cute!

Li Zeyan: ...Do you like it?

I was thinking about how to respond to the Guardian saint’s question, when the stall owner leaned over with a smile.

Stall Owner: The girl has a good eye! I bought this black dragon puppet from a temple of incense. Buying it back will surely protect both of you. For today’s holiday, if you each buy one, the price is discounted! Son, what do you think?

Li Zeyan: I don’t need it.

I took a peek at him, smiled and put down the puppet, then raised my arm and shook it indifferently.

MC: I don’t need it either. 

I have been favoured by fate, so I can at least leave the puppets to others.

I don’t know if it’s my illusion, but Li Zeyan seemed to slow down and walk with me patiently. I guess he must have rarely had such a talkative moment during the long years he spent in the forest.

I secretly made up my mind to take him today to experience the “world fireworks”.

[it was never explicitly stated, but I’m guessing that this refers to the tradition of kongming lanterns mentioned soon.]

In the long main streets, through countless shops and stalls, we stop and try our best to spend this special day seriously. I imagined the Guardian saint who was aloof, but I was so entranced that I didn’t even dare blink my eyes, and together we studied the mysteries of the street performers

He still occasionally resents helplessness, but unexpectedly does not refuse assistance. Perhaps because of the smoke and fire, I almost forgot his original identity.

Time passed by, and the end of the main street was already in front of me. A small river transverses, and there are already many people piercing Kongming lanterns on both sides of the river

Li Zeyan: What’s the purpose of this?

MC: It’s a paper lantern to make wishes on. It rises into the sky after you light the inside of it. People write their wishes on the lamps, and the gods in sky will see it and may even help realise it. 

Li Zeyan: How can there be such a thing?

MC: Today is the Qixi Festival, you can’t say such things! If it’s heard by the seventh sister in the sky, it will be bad.

Li Zeyan: ...what wishes do you generally make?

MC: On the Qixi Festival, everyone will wish for a good hand or a good marriage.

Li Zeyan: what about you?

MC: I…

I looked at a few pairs of lovers not too far away, and silently lowered my head. If you desire too much, than what’s the difference between me and those who want to imprison the Guardian saint?

But, perceiving Li Zeyan’s gaze on me, I cheered up and decided to answer the question in another way.

MC: Right, tonight, I want to see the stars, so I’ll take you to a good place to see them!

The pavilion at the foot of the mountain is part of a summer resort that I accidentally discovered when I was young. Now that the area is kept dense, the water is as clear as a mirror. The mountain breeze in the evening is very cool, blowing away all the heat of the day.

Li Zeyan leaned in the pavilion, looking at the distance with a relaxed expression.

MC: Is the Guardian Saint satisfied with this place?

Li Zeyan: well, it’s not bad.

MC: No one else will come here, so you can relax.

Li Zeyan seemed to have seen through the words as I was expecting, and showed a pair of beautiful dragon horns and a tail.

MC: I wanted to say it the first time I saw you, but, you’re really good looking.

Li Zeyan: In your imagination, was I ugly?

MC: Um… I was only expecting you to be more fierce.

Li Zeyan: And i did not expect that the one to open the barrier would be a reckless “bandit”.

I turned my head angrily, but I saw the smile at the corner of his mouth at a glance, and the feeling of dissatisfaction disappeared immediately.

I handed Li Zeyan a small purse I'd been holding in my arms.

MC: Just in case, I decided to prepare you something.

Li Zeyan took it and opened it, holding up a small peach wood sword pendant.

MC: Even though it’s small, it has the same effect as the original sword!

Li Zeyan: ...Didn’t you burn the sword?

MC: I secretly broke off a piece of the hilt of the sword, I think my father would not mind. But, if you ever encounter the barrier in the future, you can walk out by yourself.

Li Zeyan: “Self?” Where are you going?

MC: You definitely don’t want to stay in this world, do you? I couldn’t even go to heaven with you.

Li Zeyan: You don’t have to go so far. The freedom I want has nothing to do with where I am.

MC: But, you said yesterday that you were ready to leave… Are you going to another town?

Li Zeyan looked at the pendant and pondered a moment before speaking.

Li Zeyan: The forest is very large… but it’s not as good as a small yard.

Li Zeyan: No matter whether it is man or a god, there are no taboos, but it depends on whether that restriction is actively being accepted by itself. The spell of that name is a lock, and only those who know it can open it.

Li Zeyan: Just now, I've put the lock and key into your hands. So, I must keep you by my side.

I stared at him with a serious look, and it took a long time to find my voice.

MC: My home is so small... You will either get hurt or you will not sleep well...

MC:  I can’t accompany you to heaven, but I can go with you anywhere else in the world. Because you know my name, I also want to keep you by my side.

He laughed at me, hooked his finger at me, and I leaned in faintly.

Li Zeyan: In this case, I’ll leave this on you.

With warm fingertips around my neck, he put the pendant on me. I stretched out my hand to caress the small pendant, and my heart was filled with wonder. I have no supernatural power, nor have I learned to kill demons and eliminate evil. Only this little peach wood sword and myself, who keeps the secret, will become his keys together.

I pulled out a comb from the side drawer and handed it to him.

MC: According to human rules, to make such an important agreement, you have to help me comb my hair.

Li Zeyan hesitated and took the comb suspiciously.

Li Zeyan: I have never brushed anyone’s hair before…

MC: You will live in this world in the future, so you can learn more.

Li Zeyan: Why are there so many rules?

MC: This is how humans are.

In order to reduce the difficulty, I took the initiative to lift up a strand of hair

MC: Comb this strand, and it will be done after three times.

Li Zeyan: Why?

I held back my smile and tried to find excuses for my careful thinking.

MC: Hmm… Because this way, the agreement will last longer.

A helpless sigh was heard from behind me, but he still continued. The movements were very slow and light, and he took care to not hurt me at all. Time seemed to stop in this moment, and at the same time, lovers of heaven and earth meet.

I leaned on his lap and peaked at the reflection in the water: he’s clearly smiling.

As the night darkened, a Kongming lantern suddenly floated in the distance. Orange lights gradually revealed themselves in the night sky, like stars symbolising wishes.

MC: What a nice view...

Li Zeyan retracted his eyes from the sky and looked at me.

Li Zeyan: I remember that you haven’t said your wish.

I stroked his hand holding the comb and combed the hair to the bottom with him.

“Three combs to the end, will tie two hearts together forever.”

The night breeze is cool, bringing the wishes of the world to the sky. And there is still a wish, turning into a quiet whisper before falling into someone’s ear. The person who receives this wish is my destination.