#and I can't see Palpatine Dies AU without recommending Rochen's fic Leave Your Rifle by the Door on Ao3 which does this so so well

[charmwasjess]

I’m writing a fic right now where I wanted Clone War characters but the actual war was prevented (by R2-D2 sensing bad vibes and pushing Sheev down an open elevator shaft). So Dooku is still around, but he didn’t get the CIS fully off the ground. What do you think he and Ventress would get up to if his plans fell to pieces and there’s just this unresolved political standoff?

OOHH!! :D :D WHAT A FUN IDEA!

I think the most interesting part of this is that Asajj is still in the mix. 

Wanna go wide with me, Geode? :D Let’s go wide for a minute.

I obsess over the fact that Sidious ordered Asajj’s death in TCW, despite her being actually an effective tool for furthering Sidious’s goals. Dooku needs trusted, talented subordinates for Sidious’s plans to work. As much fun as it is to laugh at Dooku just blowing off his dayjob as Evil Henchvillain in TCW, “Count Dooku” is a political figurehead designed to inspire loyalty and love in the Separatists and doubt in the Jedi/Republic. Complain about him not showing up to do his own dirty work all you want, Ani. Officially, he should not be caught hanging off the sides of buildings with his sick powers, murdering people with his lightsaber or electrocuting them. Not good optics! 

But regardless of that, Sidious tries to get Asajj out of the picture, not because she’s inept or made a mistake or isn’t useful, but for the singular reason that training her is making Dooku happy. Dooku loves teaching. He’s at his most stable and successful when he’s working with a student. Part of his entire spiral into darkness is his grief over a student. It’s not a small coincidence that Rael Averross, one of the characters who most GETS Dooku as a person, repeatedly tells him to take a student when Dooku is having little moral oopsie-daisies and depressive episodes. 

And Sidious can’t have that, because a happy Dooku opens up a universe of problems. A happy Dooku is a Dooku who is thinking clearly enough to be a real threat to him, or see through his ultimate betrayal, or come up with alternative plans for what the galaxy should look like. 

So back to your question: Dooku has his old crusty nutsack of Sith Master out of the picture and his ideal apprentice/Qui-Gon replacement/stability project? What does he even DO with that? Does he try to continue Sidious's political goals, establishing his own personal rule in his place?

I sometimes wonder if we (by which I mean me) don’t take for too much granted that Dooku is even a good statesman/politician. He thinks he is, but this is a man who thinks he’s good at everything. He’s certainly adept at deception and charisma, two politician traits, and  he’s sure good at setting up the losing side of a political war. He certainly doesn’t do Serenno any favors in the long run. 

More importantly, perhaps, I don’t get the feeling that Dooku actually enjoys politics and rule. He sure seems to prioritize it, but look at how he actually behaves when he’s forced into that role. Cue Dooku sighing loudly and having a bottle of wine for breakfast.

His time on the Council as Jedi liaison to the Senate seems to have been utterly miserable for him, a contributing factor for his eventual decision to leave the Order. He has the shortest Council tenure of anyone before Anakin’s infamous hours. The one scene we get of him actually trying to rule Serenno in Dooku: Jedi Lost, he’s literally crying in frustration and ultimately, decides to go evil instead of bothering to figure out statecraft. In TCW, he seems listless and depressed; in the Legends/EU novels of his CIS era, he’s refers to the day-to-day work of fucking up the Separatist cause “middling sport at best.” 

This is such an interesting question because you have a Dooku who for the first time in decades is getting some fresh air in his brain, doing the thing he loves instead of the thing he hates, with someone at his side that he trusts and likes?? Even if he never returns to the Light, it feels like a kind of spiritual rehab for him.

I could almost see him doing a Baylon Skoll and Shin Hati thing with Asajj, running off to explore the weirdest parts of the galaxy and fully train her as a true Sith apprentice. I'd love to see Dooku off the leash and out in the wild, free to explore the witchy Sith shit and Force magic and all the interesting intersections that a true he-and-Asajj team-up could mean. Go find Morakorriband. Think Qui-Gon's spiritual journey in pursuit of the Order of the Whills stuff, but with some weird Dark Side twist.