#and I can't get a real job because I need flexibility to help my parents

[thresholdbb]

How to throttle myself into working on my WIP?

The mind, it is impossible to reign in

[xanadontit]

The ongoing saga of my brother's college application process and my resentment over how I'm included/dismissed as a member of this family continues. A two-for-one bitch fest! Keep reading if you're into that kind of thing.

My brother applied to about a million universities and got into roughly 75% of a million of them, which is great. He has some wonderful options and hopefully won't go into bonkers debt for it. He also sounds genuinely excited by the idea of getting to pursue things that interest him (computer science, robotics, engineering). Great. Love this for him.

As previously noted, my parents have been very "hey whatever, man" about this process which is lovely in theory (he doesn't need more pressure) but also creates a last minute crisis/crisis-lite when it's 11:45pm and applications are due at midnight and he's having a panic attack about if he should apply to CalPoly or something. They also decided it was pointless to tour any schools until he was accepted because they didn't want him to fall in love with a place and not get in. Which...OK. But, did he also maybe apply to places sight unseen that he wouldn't have had he even traveled to the city where the school is located (looking at you, Northridge)? Yes he sure did. I voiced my concerns about this and dropped it once it was clear that my opinion was noted and dismissed.

Now that he has just under a month to make a decision it's this mad rush to go on "real" tours (not just drive by the campus, which my stepmom thinks is basically the same thing) and make a decision and figure out what to do since he was waitlisted at his first choice but feels good about his second choice and and and. A lot of questions but instead of picking up the phone and calling the admissions office to see what's up they are doing nothing and are all out of ideas.

Maybe you can see where this is going.

Now that they're overwhelmed guess who they want to step in and help? GUESS. Why yes, it's your friendly neighborhood eldest daughter/only remotely organized person in this family. Except my job doesn't have a ton of flexibility so I can't just fly down to Long Beach or drive up to Chico on a random Tuesday, and I don't think it's my job to call UC Davis and see what's the deal with the waitlist. It just isn't! Hell, he's 18 and it's where he wants to go. Get dialing, Kid!

And of course there's the "we thought you'd want to help" guilt bullshit that compounds my frustration, but when I offer a solution or point out that Chico has their prospective student event this weekend and I could take him then it won't work because of baseball or other plans. Oh and he's spending part of his spring break on a road trip with friends so there's 5 days he won't be doing anything. I cannot bend space and time so maybe we work within the calendar days we have and make a plan and then execute it. He was accepted into four schools before Christmas and had months to schedule tours and didn't. Yes I want to help where I can but could they try not to make it such an assache?

I know in the end it will be fine or even great but in the meantime it's a hassle which it doesn't need to be which is the worst kind, to me at least.

[acacia-may]

💕 and 💖 for Finral and Vanessa for the ask game please 🥺?

Hi there, Lyra! Thank you so much for the ask! I apologize that it has taken me so long to get back with you, but I hope you'll like the headcanons I've come up with!

Questions from this "Bye Bye Writer's Block" Ask Game

Finral Roulacase x Vanessa Enoteca Headcanons

💕 -- As Parents

I really love the idea of Vanessa and Finral as parents given how much their own individual backstories and story arcs are so intertwined with these strained relationships with their own families and the aftermath of their toxic childhoods. I think given that history, they would both have this really unique perspective when it came to parenting their own children and would really try their best to give their kids everything they never got to have when they were growing up. I can see them both having some fears about having kids given that neither of them really had a good example of a decent parent, but I think they would want to have a family and, in fact, would probably end up with a whole hoard of kids who they loved very, very much.

In my mind, they really present a united front as parents and make all the big decisions together. It's probably easier for Vanessa to say "no" to the kids at times, but I don't think Finral is a total pushover as a Dad and the kids always know they can't circumvent one parent to get a different decision (i.e. if Mom says "no," Dad will too ect.). Finral definitely worries more about the kids, but he holds himself back from helicopter parenting--mainly just sharing his concerns with Vanessa who is very adept at helping him calm down about those sorts of things. She validates that his concerns are at root real concerns, but they're just blown a little out of proportion. Vanessa's a much more grounding influence and more level-headed about those kind of things, and she reminds Finral that allowing their kids to make mistakes and have a little bit of freedom is the only way they'll grow and learn independence and that's ultimately what is best for them.

As a general rule, Vanessa and Finral really tag-team everything in their relationship--from parenting to all the household/domestic things like cooking & cleaning. They just have these constantly open channels of communication from years and years of being such close friends, and they're both very dedicated to splitting everything up equally based on who is best at what instead of what tradition or societal norms dictated. Even though it is a very modern concept (especially given the mediaeval vibes of the Clover Kingdom world), I really imagine Finral as more of the stay-at-home parent, whereas Vanessa is out running her and Charmy's restaurant. Yes, it would be totally out of the norm (and they’d probably get some pushback & nasty comments from Ledior & Liliane until someone suggests that maybe this is how things would have been done in the Forest of Witches, and as Vanessa is the "crown princess" after all so she should be allowed lots of autonomy 😉). Ultimately, I think Finral and Vanessa care much more about what’s best for their family than what the norm is, and I can imagine them really discussing this in depth and reaching this kind of arrangement when deciding what to do for childcare ect. Finral just seems better suited to a lot of those domestic things (and strikes me as just wanting to be extremely involved as a parent) whereas Vanessa is already running a successful business in my mind and is very passionate about the restaurant she started with Charmy. Maybe Finral has a flexible, work from home job, but with all the money they made as magic knights (which might have some kind of pension plan or something too because everyone seems to retire from the Magic Knights comfortably & provided for) plus all the money Vanessa makes through her restaurant, I don’t think they would need two incomes if he didn’t want to have that and, though it isn’t for everyone, I could imagine Finral would be very happy, content, & fulfilled as a stay-at-home parent.

For a more specific headcanon (from my Future Problems AU), when their kids are really little their "safe place" is sleeping in their parents' room, especially Narah who has a lot of fears and nightmares. Her favorite place to sleep is right between her mom and dad. Kalon kicks and punches in his sleep so they generally position him at the foot of the bed if they can (but he has literally kicked his dad out of bed onto the floor on more than one occasion). It helps Finral's worries to know that Kalon is right there, though, and not off messing up the timeline. Tirion isn't often scared but will follow his siblings into their parents' room just to make sure they're okay, and Lia will pretend she isn't scared, but will go see what all the fuss is about (and often ends up getting cuddled by her family too). It can get very crowded, but when the kids grow up, it's something Vanessa and Finral look back on as treasured memories with their family.

(I have more headcanons but I'm going to cut myself off 😅).

💖-- Alternate Universe

I actually have a lot of AUs (living rent free in my head) that are centric around or involve these two, but I will tell you about one of my favorites. It's a darker AU with some heavier themes, though, so I've put it below the cut.

(Warnings: mentions arranged marriage, pregnancy, stillbirth, childbirth, and childhood trauma)

In a (sort-of) Villains + Arranged Marriage (not sure how to describe it?) AU...

Vanessa is never rescued from the Forest of Witches, but she presents with her fate-manipulation powers early, so Her Majesty the Queen of Witches lets her out of the tower and molds her into her successor--preparing her to take over as the future Witch Queen. As Vanessa's powers over destiny develop, it becomes apparent that they have limitations (like in the canon universe, she can only change the fate of events she witnessed ect.). Her Majesty's scrying powers can foresee that if Vanessa's fate-manipulation could be combined with spatial magic, the combination would/could result in an even greater control over destiny based in the power to travel through time and change the fate of past events.

In response, Her Majesty makes a deal with Ledior Vaude, the current head of the premiere spatial magic house in the Clover Kingdom, to marry off one his sons to Vanessa. The Queen wants Langris, but, naturally, Ledior and Liliane see this as the perfect opportunity to get Finral out of the way for Langris to inherit, so they send her Finral instead. Vanessa is not happy about having to marry. She is very jaded from years spent under the direct influence and instruction of the Queen and sees their relationship as very utilitarian at first--acting very distantly but never intentionally cold. Finral, however, (in true Finral fashion) falls in love with her quickly and treats her with genuine kindness and tries his best to get to know her better. They eventually become friends, and she grows to love him too.

Meanwhile, Her Majesty is getting more and more impatient for a granddaughter with the power she wants, especially as Vanessa continues to have sons. When she finally has a daughter, the baby doesn't make it through a difficult delivery (which they had to handle on their own without medical help or intervention). When Vanessa becomes pregnant after that, it is enough for Finral to convince her to escape to the Clover Kingdom in hope having access to more/better perinatal care. Accompanied by Charmy, who had been taken in by the Forest of Witches long before Yami could "recruit" her for his squad and is now Captain of Queen's Guard and Finral and Vanessa's friend, Finral, Vanessa, and their kids leave with Black Bulls when they arrive in search of the Queen's magic stone.

[myheartbeatskids]

So Declan loved me and we talked about science and lab babies and clones and all that. So He told me he loved me because i was the first person to really really listen and understand as opposed to being the one to teach.

And so he had understood what he was taught then developed and built upon it correctly with help from his own brain and God. And del Muerte whom helped me understand as well cause that shit was mind blowing.

So he asked me to have his soul mate. To give birth to her.

And I was pretty much dragged out and Declan ran the show after that.

I agreed but it was more like a thing where i had to focus and talk instead of fainting.

So Matt actually helped to implant because I have an upturned uterious and so things like that are painful because of the rigidity and non flexible as i need materials used while Jeremiah comforted and helped me relax.

So then essentially i was kidnapped.

Declan is part clone and part Neanderthal.

Annabelle is part clone and part Neanderthal.

So some of us from Michael Jackson's boarding school --- although I wasn't i stayed there alot on my own. So i was part of it, unofficially as i am a civilian doing military shit now. --- have clones in a laboratory. But they are miniature human size as they are kept in barbie size containers.

Since Declan was a clone Jesse gave permission to make, they said i should use a clone.

It took 5 eggs until Declan approved the child that would be created in the embryo. Del Muerte communicated to us what God said.

Most males get their soul mates at age 7. Declan was only 2 years old. So God hadnt had enough experience to program or create his perfect soulmate.

So it just so happened it was 2 years of plus 5 embryos which makes the year 7 while added together.

So when Annabelle was born Declan came to get me and her but my now ex-husband got me all fucked up and i had amnesia and all that and i remember the power struggle type issues while signing the birth certificate which is why i get child support as my ex swore bla bla bla and signed papers to those statements but I was all "Dude while he's signing let's run!" Because he pissed me off during that time and i was all no hes wrong and all... But I guess I was scared of him or his aura csused me confusion or Idk. I remember feeling sick.

So craziness. We are 16 years late. And unfortunately yet fortunately a lot of research was done and i have a lot of government apology money coming my way. Which i don't have yet.... But soon.

This is Cambria AvaLynn named after Alexis Dejoria.

Because Matt's parents were into hiding, they named him after a mat. A common object so in case of ESP feom the people they hid from they would think "welcome mat" like welcome to travel with us son named Matt. Welcome to eat at the dining table, Matt. Well, come, Matt.

So came or come because i would always want to see Matt so I would say "You came!!!" When i saw him and hug him and he would say "welcome"

And Bria after me.

Turning the x into a v (for Victory) and Lynn as in the 80s most of my friends on the military base i lived on has Lynn as their middle names. So to remind me she is a friend.

She's my child that was ectopic due to the sponges Jamie & Doug Otis found and reminded us of. But we went to the hospital because i began to hemmoragge and they were able to save her and her twin.

Then my mom killed her and he died naturally as he was in ICU TO experiment on them being raised/healed as premies temporarily as one within an incubator and the other skin to skin contact. As woman need to be comforted more, we picked Ava to bring home.

They were the first experiment with soul mates being born as twins. Both clones of my and Jeremiah and his being Ava and my being the male Andrew.

Andrew after Jesse... "And he drew" cause he was always drawing beautifully.

And the other clones were of Jesse James and Alexis.

Alexis got kidnapped by her dad and so the story goes... I did too Eventually

Jeremiah's dad helped us as the grandparent in house.

This is Declan.

He told Jeremiah "I'm not the one sitting around waiting with a pouted lip waiting for someone to do it for me. Now i found the woman and go get my kid!!"

Dude WTF I'm not having someones kid... I'm only 21!!

"Now im the man around the house and what I say goes!!! And you are going to have my kid!!"

Dude whatever. So i did dream into the lab with them but... I thought we were just playing and so i agreed and so next thing i knew there was a frozen child ready to be implanted. Thus my ability to be kidnapped so easily...

Cause when a kid is all telling you about clones and labs and shit... And you're hearing voices... that shit is insane. Literally.

So i didn't take it seriously enough.

But Declan is only 19 Now. And my kid is 16.

So it's old enough to have a romantic relationship. To avoid issues i had as a child with social services.

The plan was to have them grow up as friends but also believed it may been too dangerous....

Yet I still don't agree that it was.

However for the last 10 year's I have been working daily for my amnesia to be solved and also saving the world (of NHRA especially) at the same time.

And have earned multiple Nobel Peace Prizes which i have yet to receive.

So working on law enforcement and the military and government, about to break into the public school system and tear that up ;) as a civilian has earned me billions of dollars i have yet to receive....

But i have given away as i can and have bought businesses that I want.

As proof that the government does care about all its people's hopes and dreams they have bought them on my behalf and am gsining bank! And i shop st my own businesses too... Ironically! I been shopping at Loves for nearly a year... went into Speedway a few times now i drive an extra 5 miles just to shop there because i like it more!!

Robert, the shift manager finally told me tonight as I bought all the GIANTS for my Giant 6'7" man. And i turned the ones in Valencia County to Speedway in honor of Aaron and Paul (twins) who wanted to show the dangers of meth and the meth community as they honored me with my idea of how to end Breaking Bad with the movie reel of El Camino (the mother road) of the manner of the psychological reality of life gone wrong.

I freak Robert out... He was worried when he saw me there that I was to audit like a monster, fire everyone and work the cash register and store myself.

So tonight he saw I bought milkshakes (not available at Love's) figured it out and gave me a pack of smokes for free and blurted out why.

So i took all the giants as i always do and fucked them all up and made them better.

So i own them till i make my money back on the businesses and then they get given to who I intended it for... As I do double check they will always be worthy... If not i keep them for me because I was being good snd honest and fair the whole time.

So 360° K i own.

So i only compete with Love's whom I always promised the King's Highway to... You know him... As an old time Western Thug bitch ass womanizer player. Motorcycle Guru. Hot Rod extraordinaire. Texas loving son of a gun. Jesse James Smith! Just kidding... Just regular old ole fogie mad scientist Jesse Gregory Smith. Of West Coast Choppers. Which i own and always have as i put up the money for his business intending to always be in his life and helping him. So my apology... The only one i can ever give as i can't predict the future without help is Love. And he loves everyone and won't let Google tell.

I bought every gas station in the country as we will be switching to electric and hydro electric and non fuel and solar and hybrid autos by 2030. So the previous owners have a nice retirement and no stress. As the storage oil facilities that were shot in Saudia Arabia were actually empty. I own them.

Fossil fuels are actually the blood of dinosaurs and other dead bodies that are converted and broken down and dehydrated by plant life...

I found that out by the eternal bushes burning.. I mean growing... here on the mountain. Tumble weeds otherwise known as thyme. And we found via satellite tons of skeletons by Earth xrays under the bushes and some not as they are closer to the Earth surface. I found a wooly mammoth knuckle bone.

We moved here in 2002 and there was a patch of earth that looked like concrete by the mail boxes and we just drove over them assuming that's what it was.

They were mummified wooly mammoths. Now broken up and scattered all over the desert road.

I would not like my blood which could potentially bring me back to life wasted on a car... For someone to get to a job they hate. So no more. Not from the USA anyways.

One night I was at dinner and i said Obama needs to handle thwt South Dakota pipeline. My dad was all what is he supposed to do? All simple solutions were crap and had an argument. I said "then lie! Tell the American people they are scum! Tell them we opened the pipeline up and the pipes broke and destroyed the precious land that needs to be protected." My dad laughed and i felt kinda stupid for being so angry.

But Uncle Donald heard my point and so thats exactly what he did. Fake news? Its real.

Because he saw the change I made in the NHRA with some lies that laid very close to the truth.

You don't need to believe in reincarnation for it to happen. I didn't until about 6 months ago. But my mom's mom and my great aunt my grandma's sister ... Granny Bessie Heltons 2 daughters did. My grandma explained it to me one night when I was 18 as i had asked my Great Aunt Nita i was closer to but she didn't explain she just said "because i do" And the dictionary explaination i already knew. But my grandma traveled with me like y'all know i do And showed me.

We started in Heaven with only having one human life and having the soul figure of a human that we select. Hers was a teenage body, absolutely beautiful. With her old ass mind and experience. I told her what I wanted was to be a child. A dirty raggedy haired barefoot blonde without a care in the world, feeling smarter than I feel now... Because that is when i was happiest. When i saw i could end pain and suffering with death, when i knew life could escape heart ache, even when evil exist.

And so now on her second cat life with me, as her first caused her kidnapping by the same drug induced psycho piece of shit that arrested and molested Jesse James dog, Coco and her untimely death as I did record in Tumblr. "Sister Kitty" was kidnapped by him, hes in a special jail. He just had his pinkie finger nail and big toe nail removed as he did kidnap Mogar and slice his face and slice Kizzys leg. So in order to understand what he did he agreed to similar punishment as he did to our precious cargo...

Cargo my bitches!

Jesse: No! I only ask!

Me: who do i have to convince?

Jesse: Idk Jeremiah?

Me: Ava who is your dad?

Ava: Idk I guess not Jeremiah?? IDK!! HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO TELL!? you all always told me they are both my dad's. Let me ask God. Oh! Jesse! ..... And Jeremiah

Me: your dad is your dad and dad he will always be no matter shine or high water, love will always be there for you and for me. Alexis, do you know that one?

She nods all teary..

Jesse: well did i get loves?!

Me: uhh yes ass hole! We always love you back. What do you want with a gas station with no gas? That's like having a family with out us, most especially me!

Jesse: well it got gas now!!!

Me: well gas up at your local, bring a truck. I got a lot of stuff.

Declan: you hear her? Most especially me! Me! Well, me too, you better pick me up.

Me: Jesse... You ready for Orlando?? I got a Chase bank account with the Princess Castle on the debit card... Just needs a little cash in the account.

Jesse: You Mean You Will Pay!!!

Me: i see that was not a question so that does not deserve a response. But yes. I am suppose to have a wire transfer per last night's discussions that will pay for it.

Jesse: WHOA SHIT!

Me: Jeremiah you down?

Jeremiah: to pay Miss Giant Owner?

Me: uhh I'm Miss Speedyway now. No.. Carry me through times square after some Disney World Fun!

Jeremiah: FUCK YES!! uhh yes thank you for inviting me. I will go

Matt Hagan: look look at this. Im the best friend i even got her kid named after me

Me: Matt Hagan... Looks like you're invited, The Best Friend. In or out of Disney World for the hotel.

Matt: IN!!

Me: youre definitely going you know how to do it right! Pops... You gonna stay home alone with your woman?

Pops: not if i don't have to

M3: you don't

Pops: shit! Oh yeah!

Chuck: what about Cookie!!

Me: you and bring Your comrades I need to talk to

Chuckie: oh Cookies going!

Me: I didn't know he could do the Conga.

Jesse: yes you did!

Me: no wonder it looked familiar.

[tamespace]

My Real Beef with Minimalism: I Can't Really Afford It

I few weeks ago, I watched the documentary on Netflix called Minimalism. I held off on watching it for a while because I've felt ambivalent about the minimalist lifestyle trend for a few years now. 

That might be strange to people since I am a personal organizer and people embracing minimalism would make my job easier and perhaps obsolete. I'm ok with both of options, which I realize the latter is an unusual standpoint to have on one's job, but more on that later.

What bothers me about minimalism? I didn't know for a long time, though I thought about it often, turning the idea over and over in my head. Wondering why it simply never sat right with me.

I've written about lifestyle minimalism here, here and here, but in previous posts I've just dealt with it in an affable, informative way. 

Then a random conspiring of posts on Twitter yesterday helped dislodge the cause of my discomfort with minimalism. 

I saw this Reductress Post:

I had a blog post on Minimalism from 2013, just when Reductress was founded, going something like this:

Minimalist Lifestyle Trend 

The popular Minimalists, Becker and Nicodemus, were on NPR a few years ago. I was loading the dishwasher while listening and towards the end of their talk they agreed to take listener calls. The calls were, without exception, from women asking about how to clear out the clutter in kids rooms. 

The allure of capsule wardrobes, Japanese organizers and other modern notions seems irresistible in a culture that has a billion dollar  storage industry. We have a real appetite for buying things and now a matching appetite for storing. 

I have watched the growing movement of minimalism ( aka downsizing, down shifting, simplicity, simple living) throughout the world. In architecture, design, futuristic movies and idealized in thousands of photographs on shelter sites. 

The pull, for me, is strong. I love it but I do not think it is the answer for many. In fact minimalism has a following largely in the upper percentage of earners, such that it seems only the wealthy can truly achieve it. 

It is difficult to achieve because our society is set up to be grand consumers but we have also inherited a rightful guilt about throwing things away from our parents and grandparents.

Then during my writing group last Wednesday, I read a draft from my book, Tame Space, on Minimalism and the the Simple Living Movement (you'd be right to think they were the same, but they are only similar, for reasons explained in my book). One writing pal said she agreed, that living minimalist seemed to have an elite quality to it that many who struggle with paying rent could probably not appreciate. Another writing pal said they didn't think it was elitist but that it pointed to a need for an individual to find a set point for themselves, and that for some the set point was minimalist and others maximalist. I agreed with both ideas, though more strongly that it feels elitist but didn't know how to explain it in the moment.

Then I happened to stumble upon Kristin Wong's post on the movie Minimalism on Netflix and this from her site:

While I relate to minimalism on an aesthetic level (and even on a Buddhist level to some extent), something about the trend toward minimalism is unsettling. It seems problematic, at least in the current state of our economy, to push the virtue of minimalism in terms of wealth. Despite being overshadowed by more pressing headlines, income inequality hasn’t gotten any better. The average income of the top 10% of Americans is upwards of $200k and the top 1% earn over six million a year. But the vast majority–90% of people–make an average of $33,000 a year.

And there it is. $33,000 a year for the majority of people. I had a quiet aha moment. Sometimes, living with less isn't a clarion call to the good life. Sometimes, it's just less stuff because we have less money. 

Can you imagine for a moment, living paycheck to paycheck for most of your life and worrying about paying for new shoes for your kid and living on a daily diet of painkillers because you can't afford to see the dentist because your car needs repairs asap - imagine that and hearing about two single guys who were making six figure salaries and walking away from it because they realized they'd rather be fiction writers and live with less stuff? 

If you can't imagine, read Linda Turado's Hand to Mouth. She wrote an essay on Gawker on being poor and a defense of some of the things that poor folks find they are judged for in the media and in politics. The essay was so popular Penguin asked her to write a book. It reminded me a bit of Nickel and Dimed by Barbara Ehrenreich (Hand to Mouth by Paul Auster is also good too but labeled fiction) both should be required reading for everyone but definitely for the upper crust who would then tout minimalism less as a great achievement and more as the antidote to their particular kind of moneyed malaise.

In Linda Turado's world, I'd be pretty bitter for a moment about the Minimalist trend (can I have the houseful of nice stuff that you just gave away?) before I had to get back to worrying about how to get new shoes for my kid. Of course, I don't dislike the Minimalists, I'm happy for anyone courageous enough to walk away from financial security to find true bliss and to make a living sharing their method. I like many of their posts on simple living and letting go of things, like this and this.  I reserve my bitterness for many other things life has presented. Like aging, or the current political climate, or people who don't pick up their dog's poop. Bitterness is the contrasting flavor to my sweet optimism that doing what I love - helping people - will someday pay off. Pay off enough to cover basic needs and save for retirement, of course. It currently doesn't.

I do find their repeated message of minimalism as THE answer to be grating as I struggle to live in NYC. It's expensive to live here, but I can't think of leaving, I love it here. I'm proud of my work here. My husband can make his living only here as a publicist for theater and dance. But I know financially I wouldn't cut it in NYC with two kids if something happened to my partner. He's got the health insurance benefits and a living wage. 

I, too, am living the dream of pursuing meaningful work. But if I decide to live minimalist and get rid of excess to barest extreme, I may not have the old macbook that I could upgrade if my current laptop broke or was stolen. I live mostly by my work principles - don't keep what you don't use - but sometimes you have to, you want to, because you are afraid of not being able to buy another. I am afraid to be minimalist because I live largely hand to mouth.

In case it doesn't seem apparent, the seeming luxury of my career choice was driven by sheer necessity: big time gap in my resume meant I could not find work in marketing after 8 years of staying at home with the kids. Also, marketing changed immensely from 2003 to 2013. I no longer had a professional network to help onramp into the working world. Frustrated and clinically depressed, I founded Tame Space in late 2011 after realizing I needed to instantly create a business that spoke to my best skills (organizing and working with people one on one), gave me a flexible schedule to spend time with my kids and allowed me some creative outlet (this blog).

I share the gist of my personal financial situation because that's the reason I've never been able to jump on the Minimalism bandwagon. My finances are too minimalist to play fast and loose with the idea of having very little in my home. If I ever have the luxury, like some of my clients, to unload bags of designer clothes to my housekeeper and design my own minimalist apartment in Brooklyn and have loads of money socked away for retirement and the kids' college tuition, maybe I could stand to let go of everything. Or maybe not, since the feeling of scarcity is sometimes a specter that lives only in your mind and disregards how much money you actually have in your bank account.

I think of my parents and many of my clients and how the feeling of scarcity (whether it's true or not in their situation) is enough to trigger holding tendencies. I say holding because they are not hoarding and forgetting about things in the dark corners of a Collyer brothers home, but are waiting for some feared future time when they may need this extra set of shoes or the old laptop or those glass mason jars or the french yogurt maker.

I hope that one day I can feel unfettered by fear of not being able to buy something I once had and discarded. Until then, I can only see lifestyle minimalism as a delightful path to fulfilled living for the segment of the population who could easily replace anything they once thought they could live without.

In a perfect world, a person considering Minimalism might give their entire household of things to a family who had just left temporary homeless shelter and needed good quality household items and clothes. And hopefully, they'd never need to look back.