#and BJ can't do that he's not actually being judgemental

[xavier616]

"Or married person."

The More I See You || Episode Twenty-Two || Season Four

[yuyu1024]

Good morning, Love

Pairings: San × y/n

Genre/tags: lovers with age gap

Warning: 🔞 fluff but still smut, pet names, cursing, suggestive/unprotected sex (be safe everyone), hj/bj, insecurities, judgement on physical appearances

~~~ [lmk if i miss anything]

Words: 2.3k

Disclaimers:

- this story is just made up

- english is not my first language, please be nice 😊

A/N: no plot. I tried writing without stopping yesterday but i fell asleep as my meds kicked in... 😅 and yeah this is it.

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It's always so awkward for you when your group of friends talk about their each own lovelife stories. It's not because you are jealous, envious, bitter or whatsoever. No. You can't be either of those things as you are not single and have a dry lovelife.

However, they don't know that. That is the thing. No one knows you are dating. Why? Because you are scared to be judged. Especially in this modern world where some are just entitled with their opinion. Tells what they think even though there is nothing wrong with it.

Yeah... there is nothing wrong with you dating no. You are in love. Both of you are. But... what you think can be the issue in this society is the age gap.

Funny enough, the distance of your age to your boyfriend is not even that big. It's just roughly five years. But for you, its like a fossil dating a baby.

***

"Good morning, Love..." your man greets you as soon as he comes out of the bedroom.

He is smiling ear to ear seeing you, his dimple is showing and his eyesmile is just the cutest.

"Why are you up so early...?" he hugs you from your back as you finish washing the pan you used for cooking breakfast for him.

"I just... felt like it." You answer smiling

"Hmm..." he inhales your scent. "But... it's saturday..." and then he pushes your hair off your neck and nibble tiny bits and pieces of you. "I was hoping for a quick hot fuck with my love..." he gnarls

"Sannie... we already had sex last night.."

"So...?" He pauses and looks a little offended, "why? Don't you like it when we do sexy time in the morning...?"

"No...." you twirl around to face your Goddess boyfriend. He have been working out more lately and it is so visible. He's so buff. "Well..."

"Well?" He arch one brow, waiting for you to explain.

"Don't you get tired?"

"Of what? Having sex? No! I work out to have good stamina for you..." he kisses you on your shoulder, "to make sure I please you, my love..."

You chuckle at how serious he is with his answer and yet so cute pouting.

"Not sex... I know you will not get tired of it... I know... believe me..." you tease him by biting your lip and then lightly running your fingers from his thight to his very noticable erection. "I meant... me... you... getting tired of me."

"And why would I?" He frowns.

"Well..." you lean back to the sink, giving a few inches of gap between you two. "I'm... older... and not that good looking..."

"What are you even talking about?" He is not smiling or being playful anymore. He just looks very not amused by your choice of words to describe yourself. "What's the matter? Why are you saying that about yourself...?"

You press your lips together as you don't know what to actually tell him.

It's not his fault. God no. San is an incredible lover. He always makes you feel loved, appreciated, contented and secured It's just your own insecurity. It's just your own thoughts whenever you try to compare yourself with others. Especially with all these younger and prettier girls around, in his work, in this neighborhood and online.

Well you don't think he will cheat. San is not like that. However, one day, if... he suddenly feels like settling down and having a family on his own. You are not the best option for that. 32 yrs old is not THAT old but... even though you are in that age, you haven't thought of settling down still.

You enjoy your time with San. But you are also afraid that you are waisting his prime years with you. Fucking you 'till you can't walk instead of someone...

"Love?" He grabs you by the waist, realing you in back from your thoughts. "Stop it okay?"

He knows you so much that he can tell from you zoning out.

"I fucking love you."

"I... love you too..." you say softly

"Then what's the matter?"

You shrug. "I don't know..."

"Are you going to leave me?"

"What? No!" You snap

"Then... stop overthinking about things that are not our problem right now..." he leans in and kisses you on the lips. "Whatever you are thinking about me, going away... it's not gonna happen. Okay?"

"Okay..." you try to sound confident.

"Answer me... with confidence love..." he lower down a bit more so his mouth reaches your tits.

He lets his tongue make circles over your thin white top, licking and making it basically see through with his saliva.

"Sannie..." you breathe, holding on to the to the counter top for support as you feel something in your stomach flutter. "What...what... are you doing... huh?" You throw your head back.

He didn't stopped. He continued licking until he had to tease you a bit more by bitting your now hard bud. He is literally reeling you out of those nonesense thoughts of yours.

Then his one hand going to your other tits, kneading it while his delicate fingers pinch and caress the other nipple.

"Are you happy with me?" He asks, his eyes looking at your face while his mouth is busy, continuing sucking.

You look down at his naughty eyes. "Y-yes... I am...."

You see a hint of smile from him. A little devilishly smile. He can't hide it even though his mouth is so busy with you.

You press your thighs together as you began to feel an undeniable intense pressure down there. It is tickling you from inside out.

"San!" You arch your back even more, making sure he can suck it more.

He growls his excitement as he sees you get more into it. He then takes you by your waist pulling you to him. You can feel his rock erection through his jogging pants.

"Maybe..." you breathe as he pulls away from your tits.

"Maybe what, my love?" He eyes you with so much adoration and happiness.

"Let's go back to bed?" You shyly asks

He just laugh and picks you up like a bride. "I can stay all day in bed if you want..."

He carries you back to your room and gently puts you down.

"But... I don't mean it like... you will take care of me..."

"Eung? What you mean?" He tilts his head, confused with your words.

"Let me..." you reach for the hem of his pants and slowly curl it downwards. "I want to take care of you today..."

He bites his lips, surpressing his excitement. "But love... you need it... what you said earlier..."

"I know... I know..." you kiss him on the cheek. "I felt a little... down... but..."

"But.... what?"

"I know I maybe older to you...however you are much mature among the two of us..."

"And...?"

"Well... you've taken care of my needs... and fill up my emptiness whenever I need it... want it..."

"And...?" He arches his brow

"And... its only me that overthinks about us...no one really calls me out... I just.. assume they do... or will do..."

"Love... Whatever you feel or think about us... is valid... the world right now... well they say people are more accepting nowadays... they do but still not all of them. Even within ourselves..."

"Yeah... I guess..."

"But... then... why do you want to take care of me?" He leans closer to kiss you. "I am so ready to put my dick in you now...." he mumbles as your lips separates.

"Because..." you glance down at his pants and then back to his eyes. "I want it..." you breathe the words out, sounding like a whine. But its not. You just want to give him what he deserves.

You ask him to switch with you. You let him sit on the edge of the bed while you stand up.

"Love.." he bites his lower lip as he watches you move.

You are not even doing anything yet. You are just standing up and looking down at your man, drool over you. White wet shirt and your black fitted cycling shorts.

"Oh San... you look aroused already..." you giggle as you see his face. "I haven't done anything yet."

He pouts and wrap his arm around your waist and presses his face on your tummy. "I can't help it. You're so fucking hot."

"I love you...."

He tilts his head up and smile. "I... love... you..." he whisper. "So...... much!" He adds at the end

You grin as you find him adorable. However, "Fine Mr. Loverboy..." you push him away from you, forcing him to lay down on his back. "Let's go back to business..."

You pull his pants down to his ankles and then removed it gently before throwing it away. You have your serious face on whilst your boyfriend is covering his face, hiding behind his hands. He's not laughing or what. He is shy and can't hide his excitement, that's all. Hmm... well, he can't really hide it. His dick is showing how turned on he is.

"Don't you want to look at me?" You ask

He takes his hand off his face and push himself up with his elbows. "Fuck!" He blurt out when he sees you naked and going down on your knees.

You grab his length and gently pump him a few times, making him squirm under your touch before fully taking him in your mouth.

"Love..." he moans as he feels the wetness and warmness.

You lick every vein and curve. Even the very tip where he is so sensitive and making him go crazy.

"Shit!" He gasps, "Love!" He grabs onto the bedsheets and tries to stay in place for you.

You bob your head fast and then slow teasing him his high. You want to make sure that he is feeling everything and emotionally having it all. You can even feel his length twitch in your mouth which means he is close.

"Y/N...my love..." he gets up and grabs you by your face and kisses you on the lips. He can taste himself in you but fuck that. He is so high right now with arousal and love for you. "I need to fuck you now or I'll go insane."

Climbing onto the bed whilst you to are lips to lips, San can't help himself but to rush. He even throw the plushies you have on bed just to give way for you to get into position.

"I love my weekends with you..." he says as he nibbles your neck. "No..." he gives you a smooch on your shoulder. "I love all the days I spent with you..." and a kiss on your cheek. "I love YOU."

You smile and nod, "I'll remember that."

"You should." He kisses you on the lips. "Always."

Then before you could open your mouth to repeat the word 'always' he had his length already aligned to your entrance. You felt his tip touch you and it made you melt already. His tip is so warm and when he pushes it in, you felt your insides move.

"Oh... God..." your mouth opens into on O.

He is so fucking thick. You have been dating for more than a year now and you are still getting surprised on how thick he is.

"Tell me if it hurts... I didn't prep you... I got so excited..."

"It's fine..." you smile and pull his face for a kiss.

Sex with Sannie is so satisfying. It's not just sex for him, it's really something you've never felt from anyone you have dated in the past. He is making you feel love in every thrust.

It may sound weird but it is true.

"Aaahhh..." his mouth drops opens and exhales as he felt you squeeze him inside  "l-love... aaaahhh..." he closes his eyes as he slows down his movement. "Fuck... I might not last long anymore..." he then stretches his arm to reach for the bedside drawer

"Don't..." you say catching your breathe. "It's okay..." you say

"Are you sure?"

You nod.

"But your.... fertile..."

You laugh when you realized what he just said. "Baby... I can't...how did you know that?"

"Of course... I know... I should know..." he hugs you and kisses you more whilst slowing down his hip movements to control a little bit more. "I know you are not ready yet... and it's part of my job.. being your boyfriend... to know your needs..."

"Aww..." you tap his nose lightly and then raise your legs to wrap it around his waist. "Thank you..." you whisper. "Give it to me now then..." you add

"What?" He is frowning but smiling. "Love, are you... serious?"

"Yes... If it's alright with you... if ever... after this... we get a little mini you and mini me..."

"Fuck yeah!" He sucks you lower lip. "I want us to have children... more people to show love and appreciation for your existence.. and I promise..."  picks up his rythm up again. "I will raise our kids with so much love.. and...and..." he opens his mouth to take quick breathes as he feels his climax coming. "Love... ahhh... Aack! Shit!"

You feel his dick pulsate and pump in you. Its warm and its quite a lot.

He snorts a laugh as he lays on top of you while you caress his head. "What's funny now?"

He pushes himself back up, "you mention children already..."

"Hmm..."

"So does this mean..."

"Mean what?"

"You want to spend a life with me? Forever?"

You smile, "Of course..."

San can't hide the pure happiness in his smile. "Just tell me when, where and how... I'll marry you..."

"I don't need a fancy wedding... All I need is you..." you say

"Ditto..." he lays his head on your chest. "But about the baby..."

"What about it?"

He looks up at you again, "just to make sure... can... we... go for one more?"

[thebreakfastgenie]

Respectfully, if you are "allowed" to dislike BJ, I am "allowed" to dislike Trapper even if you and I do not agree on those characters. Or put another way, I specified very clearly that these are my personal reasons I do not like the character and that I do not hold it against anyone who disagrees. You are not going to make me like Trapper by telling me that you "can't take it seriously" that I don't any more so than you are going to suddenly start liking BJ because others tell you their reasons for liking him. There is no need to be insulting.

I do not personally interpret the scene as open-endedly as you do. While yes, this scene canonically took place in 1940s where a woman who consented to sex - particularly in a public or pseudo-public place - would have been the subject of dire judgement and therefore may have been motivated to "cry rape" (which is a misogynistic trope especially in the hands of a male author who clearly shows several other misogynistic tendencies in his writing - but is a possible interpretation of the scene, and possibly how it was intended) so am not saying at all that is not a valid interpretation, but we also only have the male characters' version of the events, not the woman in question's, and only their say-so that it was definitely consensual. The only action we hear from the woman in question is the alleged "he trapped me" and only the men saying that she must have been lying because she definitely wanted it. I do not see this as "at worst ambiguous".

I am also not really sure what Oliver Jones has to do with it? I did not mention this character at all, so the fact that other people may or may not like him has no bearing on whether or not I like a completely different character. I actually almost did mention this in my ask (as well as the bigoted nickname for Father Mulcahy which is used once and then never mentioned again) but thought the ask had gone on long enough; but in a nutshell, I don't think those are OK either and yes, it biases my view on that era of the show.

I think my feelings on Trapper (and for that matter, Oliver) may have been different if he had benefited from being a longer-running character on the show where more nuance could have been introduced over time and perhaps I would have found more things to like, especially as the show segued out of the era of the unfortunate depictions of those things I find troublesome - but unfortunately that is not what happened. I think this is why people are softer on Hawkeye's involvement in those things as well, because although they are not forgivable actions in themselves, audiences have the benefit of years of Hawkeye after those actions where he no longer engages in things like that, whereas that is less true of characters like Trapper who were written out a lot more closely after those events.

Regarding the matter of the adultery - I think perhaps an interesting third point in the equation here is Colonel Potter. We do not think of him as "a cheater" even though he canonically cheated in the past, because he acknowledges that although he did do that, it was a long time ago and he does not intend to do it again and hasn't since. I think perhaps that is why people are softer on BJ because they see his actions with Carrie Donovan as being similar in this regard - in 20, 30, 40 years time, if BJ was in fact being honest about his words at the end of that episode, and if he continues to stand by that, it would be a breach of Peg's trust, and an inappropriate action to take, but not necessarily something to tar him for life; whereas a perpetual adulterer such as Frank or Trapper* who has no intention of ceasing that behaviour will continue to engage in repetitive breaches of trust which some may see as a larger offense. * I don't recall off the top of my head if we have any indication that Trapper was adulterous outside of the context of the war, but if there is not, that also adds an additional dimension. If Trapper is only adulterous in the context of being away from home, that also casts his cheating in a very different light to characters like e.g. Frank, because Frank is depicted as carrying on affairs prior to being deployed as well. Additionally, another really important difference between Trapper, Frank AND BJ in my opinion is the context of physical vs romantic affairs.

While all of the above are cheating, some people may find a purely sexual affair such as the ones Trapper engages in more palatable. i.e. Trapper is with other women exclusively for sex, while his only romantic interest is his wife. This is in contrast to BJ who at the very least has romantic feelings for another woman at least once (even if he does not end up pursuing it) and Frank who has protracted affairs with the same woman and leads them to believe (whether he intends to or not) that he has a romantic investment in them.

Whether any given person finds those more or less moral or acceptable or forgivable is up to them - but I have known people who would find a purely sexual affair at least forgivable if not "okay", while an affair with a romantic component would be a deal-breaker.

I never said you weren't "allowed" to dislike Trapper, I just said I don't take the particular reasoning you provided seriously. I also don't dislike BJ, I'm neutral on him at worst and usually I like him. For some reason, criticizing anything about him is considered dislike, when this is not true for other characters.

You don't need to lecture me about the "cry rape," myth, I was very clear that this is also misogynistic. That backstory is misogynistic, it just isn't canonically a rape. "Ambiguous at worst" means it is not definitively a rape. I do not doubt that it was consensual, you may disagree, but there is room in the story to interpret it either way. You're right that we only have the men's version of the story, but we also only hear about it via Hawkeye's retelling of a frat legend.

I brought up the nickname (and didn't bring up Father Mulcahy's because it's only used once in the pilot, before he was recast, though it's his primary name in the book) because you cited Trapper's nickname as a reason to dislike him, despite this being a name given to him by the writers.

I just made a post about Potter, I judge him more harshly.

I have to go now but if I didn't get to something I'll do it later.

[thatbrightblueshine]

here's some analysis from my overworked brain, if you want to call it that.

i still think of the red card incident from last season. what drove him to do that? he must've known that he couldn't get away with it, not with a warning, he knew he'd get booked, and definitely not just yellow. he did it anyway. so protective of his goal that he was willing to eventually get send off or just so ego and adrenaline driven that he wanted to show off? was kieran impressed? was salah impressed or did he just think of him as a massive idiot for jeopardising his whole team like this. after all they were already 0-2 down and just another goal away from getting completely embarrassed.

martin ended up taking over for the rest of the game - doing a well job. but in the end he was suspended for the carabao cup final, so loris took over his role. sat there watching it on tv, wondering if he could've made those two saves loris couldn't make. cameras pushed into his teammates faces at full time, tears were seen on some. was he to blame? laid awake that night. knew he'd get back to the grounds soon enough, wondered how his teammates would react, if they'd blow it off and move or if some banter would happen. he's used to that, knows they don't actually mean it. what done is done. fuck it. man united won. it's over and done with. but the voices in the back of his head wanted him to take all the blame. as if loris wasn't good enough, as if martin wasn't good enough. as if he was better. in reality however, martin had been there for years, just losing his spot as the club's first keeper as soon as nick came in the summer before.

in training, it wasn't a competition. but some days nick felt as if martin was there just waiting for him to fuck up so he could step up again. nick takes it for paranoia, went through this exact same during his time at ipswich. hadn't have those thoughts in a while. maybe he needs to talk about it, talk it out. have a friendly chat. going back and forth on it, doesn't know how to feel. his head is spinning. maybe he needs a remedy. maybe he yearns to hear kieran's take on it. or even dan's. lives off their praise, like a boost of energy. cannot take their judgement - like a drug. takes you up, brings you down. he hadn't seen kieran since the red card incident. didn't get to chat with him after the game. so afraid of how he will look at him, act around him when they meet again in training. feels sick to the stomach. couldn't stand seeing disappointment in his face, he'd know that it's because they'd lost the cup. wonders if he had been goal instead of loris he'd done the saves, won them the game.

no goals? a penalty shootout he'd take any day. doesn't matter how it had ended but he had been there - maybe getting a sloppy bj from kieran for winning the shootout. praise. what keeps him going. like kieran's hand running through his hair as he's on his knees. "good boy." constant "what ifs" and in the end he was too blame for not being there at the final. for being so adrenaline driven, not wanting to risk another goal from liverpool. proper show off he is like dan would say. he needs to clear his head, get out of this circle. can't stand any of this. wish his head would go quite.