#and 1 season later they're fucking married. even if Neal had lived he did not stand a chanceeee. he would've been so chill about it tho | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

potato-on-your-head · 9 months ago

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listen Emma Swan is morosexual and exclusively attracted to men who are cringefail in one way or another, the most functional person she sort-of dated was probably Graham and even then their first makeout happened after she'd spent the whole day with him while he was having a nervous breakdown. her other flames include a pretend furniture salesman who fake pined after her until she noticed him, a 200-year-old twentysomething conman who taught her how to commit felonies at age 18, and a pirate who flipped from Kitten Thinks Of Nothing But Murder All Day to puppy-eyed pining for one (1) Emma Swan in the course of like a week. she was a goner the moment Killian Jones sauntered onto the scene. she's kicked his ass. she's seen others kick his ass. she watched him get hit by a fucking car. he said the dumbest flirty shit to her until she mashed her face into his from the sheer sexual tension.

it was always just a contest between which brand of moron she was going to pick in the end. she chose to be ride or die for Hot Eyeliner Pirate and we love her for it

you know who else in funny? Neal. I cannot get over how much of a loser he is. And the fact that he thought he ever stood a chance when it came between him and Hook??? Guy Liner McPuppy Eyes? Emma walks into his his line of sight and his world is instantly rocked. Killian Jones would NEVER get engaged to a random woman on the street because he was too scared to face Emma. Also Neal has zero drip. Man is wearing a dirty t-shirt and sweatpants 100% of the time. Hook is in dashing black pirate attire. He’s got a detachable hook for a hand and has alluded to having ~other~ attachments for it as well. Baelfire calls his dad “papa” despite being a grown man. “When I win your heart, Emma, and I will win it. It will not be because of any trickery. It will be because you want me.” Neal baby i’m so sorry but you could nevvvverrrrrrr

#Neal is such a cringefail loser (affectionate) and I love him #he says the most unhinged shit it's hilarious #and michael raymond james's comedic delivery was always SPOT ON #which is a huge part of what endears me to him #but the moment Killian Jones laid eyes on Emma and she threatened him with a knife to the neck it was ALL over #the sheer MAGNETISM between them #they climb a fucking beanstalk together and he pokes at her walls and she pokes at his #and that seals the deal #and Emma's been with men with flexible morals before so she clocks Killian right the first time and knows he's about to double-cross her #so she does it first. but god he stays with her. that pirate clipped the edge of his hook into her heart and she never manages to shake him #they were soulmate-coded from 2x06 on and that's a fact #1 season later she gives up her magic to save him and goes on a life-altering magical time travel journey with him #2 seasons after that she literally goes to hell and back for him #and 1 season later they're fucking married. even if Neal had lived he did not stand a chanceeee. he would've been so chill about it tho #when emma inevitably chose killian neal would look at them and be like. 'yeah that's fair'#anyway this has been another episode of #potato yells about ouat #once upon a time #ouat #potato speaks #potato comments

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