#anakin-trashtalker

[bigfan-fanfic]

Anakin and his bf trash talking and making fun of the Jedi council while chilling but both have nothing but respect for Plo Koon and Yoda.

Absolutely. The trashtalk and fun-poking is all meant from a place of admiration anyway

[dgcatanisiri]

I’ve said before, the kindest I’ll be to TLJ is to say that it’s a decent first draft, but... It’s DISCONNECTED from TFA, the movie that IMMEDIATELY precedes it. No one brings up Starkiller - not even pointing out that Poe’s actions and reactions could easily be considered PTSD from the torture and trauma if they wanted to frame him as being in the wrong, no, he’s just written off as a hotheaded maverick who needs a lesson in humility from Holdo - Finn shakes off the coma in moments, Rey has no reason to give a bisected fuck about Kylo, yet immediately becomes infatuated with him, Luke left a map in TFA but wanted to just be left to die in TLJ... Nothing in this movie has any ties to the movie that came before. Which, honestly, just meant that, to conclude the story of the sequels, the one TFA started, TRoS basically had to downplay things left over from TLJ - hell, TRoS at least ACKNOWLEDGES events in TLJ, which is honestly a lot more than TLJ seems willing to do with TFA, despite, again, taking place almost immediately before it.

And then there’s the internal plot - the timeline is a convoluted mess (the Resistance is under an explicit sixteen hour ticking clock, yet Finn and Rose jaunt off to and back from Canto Bight - a disposable point in the plot ANYWAY, considering that Finn and Rose don’t even accomplish the goal they went there for - in the middle of a fuel crisis, AND Rey’s training is explicitly taking place over days if not weeks, but she manages to arrive in the nick of time, while still having real time Force communication with Kylo, who is with the ships chasing the Resistance). The First Order has the military might and strength of the Empire with no acknowledgment of the personnel loss that losing Starkiller - a weapon built out of a goddamn PLANET - must have been. Leia and Holdo both hold Poe losing people against the dreadnaught against him, when a) one man fighters have been established in this universe to be hyperdrive capable in all trilogies, so there was no reason to hold the fleet there, b) taking out the dreadnaught made tactical sense, given the firepower it had and the manpower on board - 200,000 crew! Combined with Starkiller, that should be a MAJOR blow to the FO, but, because this is TLJ, the FO just has infinite resources from no where, and c) the dreadnaught is the kind of target you’re SUPPOSED to use those bomber fighters for, if they couldn’t take going up against it, they should have been scrapped for parts ages ago.

Like... I’m sorry, but if you want to trashtalk Rise of Skywalker on the plot level, you have to start with the fact that TLJ left them with no real conclusion to be had - the Resistance is left with enough people to be carried in the beat up weed van that is the Millennium Falcon, while the First Order SHOULD have been reduced to maybe a cruiser’s worth of troops. Because they weren’t the Empire, built on the bones of the Republic that had stood for a thousand generations. They were a fringe group, pushed out to the margins of the galaxy, where they built in secret - which means that if they’d made a major production push of a fleet capable of taking on the New Republic, which DID get a lot of the resources of the Empire as it collapsed, SOMEBODY would have noticed it and done something. When TLJ closes, both sides are basically at a stalemate with neither of them capable of striking back. They just don’t have the manpower or the resources anymore. I’ve said for years, when TLJ, I do NOT feel a sense of hope for the future, like the previously downbeat endings in this franchise - AotC may have started the Clone Wars, but Anakin and Padme get a tender moment together, a respite in the storm. RotS has the Empire ascendant, but Luke and Leia are with loving families and the new hope is intact. ESB has Lando and Chewie heading off to find Han and Luke has been fitted with a new hand - they’re ready to keep going. TLJ just feels like both sides played out the fight to the inevitable conclusion of everyone being left with nothing but ash.

TLJ was F - L - A - W - E - D. And I’m not saying that TRoS is beyond reproach or anything - I’m pissed that they reduced Rose to basically nothing, Palpatine didn’t really need to be there, Finn deserved to do more than shout “Rey!” through most of his screentime, especially when they had the stormtrooper rebellion subplot to work with... But a lot of the plot level flaws of TRoS stem out of the way that TLJ left things. Not all, but it was NOT this groundbreaking thing that changed the game. I honestly end up with the feeling that it was just a first draft that, due to the ridiculously fast pace of pumping out this trilogy, went straight to filming with like no editorial oversight. 

Which is a failure when we’re talking about movie two of a trilogy and movie eight of a saga. The whole trilogy fails to be a cohesive whole, in large part because for some ungodly reason, the plan had been to rotate writers for each part AND give those writers almost no time to weld their stories together. JJ Abrams and Rian Johnson, say what you will about them as storytellers or people, are both VERY different in their styles, and making the two try to mesh... doesn’t work. Lord knows what would have happened if Trevorrow’s ideas had made it out of the concept phase, but it wouldn’t have been better, just had more tonal clash, because, again, we have a different writer with a different style who sees different things out of the movie and the franchise.

The problems of the sequels are foundational. But the movies ALL have their own individual problems. You can shake off most of the problems in TFA by viewing it as set up... But then TLJ tosses aside a lot of what is being set up - TFA is clearly setting up a Finn-Rey dynamic, but, to fit the way that Rian Johnson’s already planning TLJ, Rey has to go off on her own. TFA has Finn wielding that lightsaber multiple times, so VERY clearly indicating he’s Force sensitive, to the point of being narratively framed as the counterpoint to Kylo, but they never interact again and TLJ reduces him to bumbling comic relief. TFA speaks of the Knights of Ren, presumably students from Luke’s academy who joined Kylo, but then they’re gone in TLJ and are functionally replaced with the Praetorian Guard. Snoke gets a lot of fanfare as being this hidden manipulator of Kylo from birth, then gets tossed out of the plot in TLJ with no explanation of his motivations.

Just... Look, I get that TRoS was a disappointment in a lot of ways, but it really was, for the most part... Honestly, all we were ever going to GET after TLJ. Because there wasn’t a continuation offered by TLJ, other than reusing the characters. TLJ was telling a story all its own, unconcerned with connecting with the rest of the series. It wasn’t a deconstruction with intent to reconstruct, in the way that KOTOR 2 was. It was demolition, taking a battering ram to the established foundation, trying to build something ELSE in its place.

[cutelittleluckysoul]

Can I get a Star Wars ship, please🥺? I’m female, 5’8” grey eyes, light brown hair, ENFJ personality, a cancer, I’m always wanting and love to help people with anything (it makes me feel wholesome) I’m a dog lover, a cuddled bug for sure, lowkey fashionable but when I feel like it (lol), I high key by would be a Jedi ngl and love your work btw :)

Omg also follow up from last ship request, I’m straight and ships from all trilogies would be amazing!!

Sorry for taking so long and I hope you like it!

For the Prequels I would ship you with Obi Wan Kenobi

a fellow Jedi it is

which doesn’t make things easier

but damn it you both are trying your best

and it works surprisingly well

the both of you think you are so sneaky that no one knows

but Anakin figured, he knows all the signs

but he doesn’t tell anyone of course

though he can’t help but smirk everytime he finds the both of you together

Cody knows too and he is the best wingman someone could ask for

he always warns the both of you when someone is nearing and you two are in a compromising position

you are both really grateful for that

loves to cuddle with you

especially when the both of you are together on a ship

and it is also very helpful because Obi is your own heater

space can get rather cold so it is a win-win situation really

he shares your enthusiasm about helping people

he admires your determination

his heart swells with love when he sees you helping the younglings

the yearning is strong with this one

For the Original Trilogy I would ship you with Luke Skywalker

you two would meet while you wanna help him out carrying something

poor Luke didn’t know how to act

cause he never saw someone as beautiful as you

asks you out immediately and very rushed

the rest is history

you two are so damn cute together

everyone thinks so

he loves to hug you from behind and vice versa

always touching you in one way or another

the guy is just very affectionate

would tell you everything

and when I say everything I mean it, there are no secrets

you are the first person he tells that Vader is his dad

you being shocked but reassuring him that you love him no matter what

and you worry about him

a lot

the guy is a magnet for dangerous situations even if he doesn’t even want them

tending to his wounds

and he always gives you a sweet kiss as a thank you

just rolling your eyes because you can’t even be mad at him for wanting to protect you and saving the galaxy

ngl you are very proud of your boyfriend

Leia would love you as well of course

and you two would sometimes team up on the guys because lets be real

girls can get any job done as well

also gossiping with her? Leia is the queen of trashtalk as well

but you are glad you got Luke and are part of his family now

And for the Sequels I would ship you with Finn

Finn is such a sweet guy

sure he has seen some shit and he won’t hesitate to kill someone

but he has a damn good heart

when he is not busy helping the resistance he spends every second with you

cuddle sessions as often as possible

sure Poe teases you 

seriously it is his second hobby by now

but he is happy that you make his friend happy

but boy oh boy he is having the time of his life when he sees you walking around with Finns jacket (formerly Poe’s) and hickeys scattered along your neck

you were kinda embarrassed

good thing General Leia knows how to get the guy back on his feet

which you are really glad for and it is so much fun to watch Poe shrink in a bit

you are very proud of your boyfriend when you find out he is force sensitive as well

and you are supporting him wherever you can

of course the both of you are afraid of the other one dying

so whenever you two have to leave each other you make sure that the other one knows how much you love each other

and there have been many close calls for the both of you

so it is no wonder you are relieved when the war is over

he tells you he wants to have a quiet life with you

far far away from everything

of course that won’t work cause Poe needs him too but your life does become more quieter and peacful

and the two wouldn’t have it any other way

[cosmik-homo]

Star wars as teashtalk I said when playing fallen order:

Maul: (trashtalk)

Anakin: wtf- I know who you are! You never killed anyone important! You talk like that but you wouldn't be able to survive Yoda!

Anakin: hell you aren't gonna survive my little sister- and she's 13!

[rocket-sith]

Top 5 favorite fic tropes?

Oh snap, here we go! Okay, in no particular order (and these are mostly Star Wars focused since that’s my current fandom and where my one-track mind is at) -

- Time Travel Fix-Its. I love the shit out of time travel stories and temporal anomalies and all that shit to begin with. Maybe this is a result of too much Back to the Future and Star Trek in my formative years, IDK, but I love it. I also love Fix-Its in general because fuck the canon police, I wanna see my poor babies happy (my poor babies being whichever tragic or ill-fated characters I’ve come to adore in whichever fandom I’m into). So finding a good time travel fix-it is like the ultimate jackpot on AO3, like when you were a little kid and you found a box of your favorite sugary cereal in the cupboard and then saw there was a really cool prize at the bottom. 

- Sith AUs. I love me some Dark Side shenanigans, ESPECIALLY considering the ridiculous levels of moral ambiguity a lot of the Star Wars prequel/TCW era characters possess - for some of those characters, Sith ain’t that far of a leap. Plus I find it fascinating to see how different writers approach it, like which character(s) they make into Sith/Darksiders, what changes about the character other than just their name or how they self-identify, what stays the same, what triggered their fall, how being Sith/Dark changes the character’s story arc, etc. 

- Bantering, arguing, and affectionate trashtalk between my OTPs. In the X-Files fandom, it was Mulder and Scully. In the HP fandom, it was Remus and Sirius. In the SW fandom, it’s Anakin and Obi-Wan (though I love Han and Leia’s dynamic on screen too, and Vader/Aphra has a lot of potential.) There’s something that’s just equal parts adorable and smokin’ hot about a battle of wits, and I’m pretty incapable of getting into any pairing in the first place if this isn’t a large element in the canon material (regardless of whether the ship itself is canon). So when I find a fic that’s got my OTP all like “I love you, I troll you, let’s have brainsex” I am allll over that. 

- Playful, affectionate, or just plain fluffy BDSM (especially bondage). Oddly enough, this only applies to Obikin rather than all my fandoms or even other SW ships, and I have a strong preference for Anakin being the one getting tied up. Not to say I don’t enjoy reading some straight up kinky porn sometimes, because that’d be a damn lie, and not to say I don’t enjoy seeing them take turns topping/bottoming with vanilla sex, because that’d also be a damn lie (I actually think Anakin enjoys the attention he receives when he bottoms, so he prefers that most the time, but they’d still switch it up sometimes and..I DIGRESS, I AM WAY OFF TOPIC, ANYWAYS.) My biggest weakness in the Obikin kink department isn’t some super rough fuck-a-thon, it’s a loving, playful bondage session that’s more about mental and emotional intimacy than sex. I think it’s just like - these characters already have ENOUGH pain in their lives. Anakin always seems so restless and on edge, Obi-Wan always seems wound so tight and like he’s trying so hard to be the perfect Jedi - I wanna see Anakin get tied down and loved, and I wanna see Obi-Wan decide the hell with Jedi decorum and just allow himself to have some guilt-free affectionate fun with that smartass other half of his.  

- Flogging, pissing, and shitting all over the Jedi Code and Jedi dogma. (Metaphorically, I mean. Not into golden sonic showers or a lothcat-o-nine-tails or coprolitesabers or whatever the fuck might happen if this were literal). But yeah, it is SO DAMN GRATIFYING when a fic comes along that thoroughly eviscerates the toxic Jedi mindset. Sometimes it’s a matter of Yoda or Mace’s own bullshit blowing up in their faces, sometimes it’s Anakin or someone else flouncing the fuck out of the order because fuck that noise, sometimes it’s the Force itself being like “y’all motherfuckers done GOOFED” and then the timeline gets reset or someone has a vision or WHATEVER. If the Jedi Code is being artfully shat upon, I am 100% there for that. 

[attackfish]

Peggy Sue

The fact that I haven’t written one off these already is surprising, because this kind of thing is my jam, I mean they are the best thing, seriously I love them.

One idea I’ve been noodling around with is one where General Organa, just before the events of The Force Awakens is thrust into the past along with the ghost of Anakin Skywalker, just before the events of Attack of the Clones. The two are there for one purpose, to kill Palpatine.

Some things that would definitely happen in this AU would be:

Leia’s changing relationship with the memory of Darth Vader, as complicated by her son’s fall, and by the presence of the man himself, in the form of his force ghost and also teenage Anakin.

Ghost Anakin dragging Leia into saving Shmi and also thereby heading off young Anakin’s first mass murder.

Leia meeting her grandmother, looking for all the world like an avenging angel, and not being able to tell her who she is.

Afterward, Leia, under the impression that assassinating Palpatine is a suicide mission, insists that first they are going to Alderaan so she can see it, and her parents, one last time.

Leia realizing that as a senator, Bail actually spends most of his time on Coriscant, and Anakin telling her she isn’t allowed to set up residence in his office. He uses a flat deadpan, absurdly familiar voice, leaving them both deeply unsettled.

Leia early on mentioning the Separatists and Dooku in anything less than total recrimination, and Anakin being like “Well I thought the one thing the Organas could be relied on was not to teach you that!” and Leia furiously replying that for most of her childhood, her parents also thought that there could be a non-military solution to Palpatine’s empire. Through the course of this, Leia’s disillusionment with the post Empire galactic government comes out, and Anakin tells the story of Dooku and the Clone Wars and how they were all a plot by Palpatine. He calls Dooku his predecessor. They carefully avoid the topic of all the former Separatists who joined the Rebel Alliance.

Leia compares the old and new Galactic Republics, both to each other, and to the ideals her parents raised her with. Their different flaws are discussed. Anakin’s deeply mixed political feelings surface.

Leia meets Obi-Wan and also her young biological parents. Leia finds just how much they look like kids to her uncomfortable.

Leia and Anakin bond. They are isolated and stuck together, and bound by a common mission, and slowly, even though he participated in the genocide of her people, tortured her, tortured her husband, cut her brother’s hand off, and somehow traumatized everyone she ever knew, they bond. Leia finds this horrifying even as it happens.

They have a fair amount of downtime in their mission with its steadily expanding parameters (from just killing Palpatine, to killing Palpatine, killing Dooku, rooting out corruption, figuring out something to do about the Jedi, figure out something to do about young Anakin’s many many untreated trauma issues which should probably be part of doing something about the Jedi, etc). Sometimes they spend this downtime trashtalking Palpatine. Leia has a finely trained court wit and the myriad insults her fellow Rebels came up with. Anakin has twenty-three years of seething hatred and resentment and personal kowledge of Sideous to draw on.

The first time Anakin calls something a Sheevious plot, Leia is exhausted and maybe a little drunk, and she completely cracks up. Anakin is like yes, finally someone who likes his dreadful wordplay.

Anakin talks a little about the Dark Side and what it’s like to use it, and what its like to fall. Leia can’t help but listen and wonder that it’s like for her son.

Palpatine dies.

[ialreadyreadthatfanfic]

It's Obikin time! Let's celebrate our favourite ship! Reply with a random headcanon, a fic or art rec, or just why you love Obikin! Feel free to tag people!

Oh my gosh!

Okay, first of all: I’m really invested in the idea that they COMPLETELY DESERVE EACH OTHER. They both are Shit Lords™ of my heart, if in completely different ways. They balance each other out. Obi-Wan’s passive-aggressive trashtalk to Anakin unique brand of explosive emotional drama. Obi-Wan getting distracted by these Fun Brain Invader Worms as everyone else screams with horror; meanwhile, Anakin upgraded their ship again, but it just might explode if anyone else besides him tries to fly it. Anakin internally going “WHY” while Obi-Wan accepts offer after an offer of Suspicious Alcoholic Beverages and goes on to flirt with anything that moves; Obi-Wan internally going “WHY” as Anakin plunges into action with no plan other than “improvise” and then drops the mission to save a person he imprinted on (Padme/Ahsoka/Obi-Wan himself etc.).

If Ahsoka has Space Twitter/Instagram, it’s full of things like,

Exclusive footage: Skyguy discovers Master Obi-Wan poured sand into his boots! (View photo: 1/12)

Vote on this month’s most exasperated face Master Obi-Wan managed! (View photo: 1/34)

Master Obi-Wan and Skyguy sparring, but every time their lighsabers clash, Master Obi-Wan says “Ana-kin!”

Compilation: Best of Skyguy’s worst crash landings from the last campaign

Master Obi-Wan does NOT want to go to the medical! [Episode 67: Revenge of Kix]

Another beloved idea: Anakin inherited all of his Extra™ from Obi-Wan. ALL OF IT. Obi-Wan has no one to blame but himself. That sweet, earnest kid from Tatooine had YEARS of watching dramatic disrobings, not to mention the jumping out from flying ships on fire, strategically placing oneself to have the maximum wind flutter your cloak, flashy lightsaber moves etc. Every time Obi-Wan takes a shot because Anakin has been especially Extra™ lately, Force Ghost Qui-Gon is standing there, yelling “HYPOCRITE!”.

Also, I’m always pining for the “Anakin decides to leave the Order as a teen after all” AUs. Imagine Anakin’s shock when Obi-Wan declares he’s leaving too. Imagine the bonding. The adventures. Fast-forward to one year later, and they’re in middle of slave uprising, while Shmi tries to teach Obi-Wan how not to burn water, with varying success. They’re all happy as one big family!

Someone please write this. Pls.

A few fic recs/ideas/etc, from my recently liked posts:

Bounty Hunter Obi-Wan

Retail store AU

Obi-Wan finds Anakin instead of Qui-Gon

Come Back to Me (AAANGST)

The World Undone

Fanart:

X - Valentine Day

X - Amazing cosplay

X - Kiss! kiss! kiss!