#ana kasparian should show off her ass

[tanyaschizoid89]

VULGAR SPEECH

I'M A SIMPLE KIND OF CHICK , 💯

IF I SEE TITS , I LIKE , LMFAO , 💯 !

NO. BUT I LIKE THICK N JUICY , 💯

I LIKE WOMEN. OBVIOUSLY , U HAVE TO BE OVER 21. 18 IS EVEN TOO YOUNG FOR ME. SORRY. UR STILL CONSIDERED A ( CHILD ) TO ME. AND I HAVE TO TREAT U LIKE A LITTLE SISTER , SO U CAN GO N WATCH SOME CARTOONS THO 💯

ANYWAY. I DONT DISCRIMINATE !

I LIKE ALL KINDS OF ( WOMEN ) , !

MY FAVORITE , BY FAR IS MATURE

WOMEN 40 AND OVER , R FREAKY

THEY HAVE EXPERIENCE , SO , THEY ALREADY KNO WHAT TIME IT IS ! BASICALLY , OL GIRL CAN INVITE ME OVER TO THE CRIB , SHE CATERS TO ME , AS SHE SHOULD , THEN , SHE TAKES HER TIME , AND GIVES ME A SHOW 💯

I HATE RUSHY BITCHES , LIKE Y 💯

ANOTHER THING. I'M A BOOB GIRL. SO. HONESTLY. ALL THAT OTHER SHIT , LEAVE THAT FOR YO NIGGUH. CAN CARE LEZZ 4 REAL. DO U HAVE A NICE RACK , IS ALL I'M ASKING ! AND IF SO , CAN I GET A PRIVATE SHOW , SMH

I'M JUDGE ! TF ! N YES BITCH , I WILL JUDGE UR KNOCKERS , FOH

I ALSO LIKE THIGHS ! N IF U LACK IN THOSE DEPARTMENTS , WELL , U JUST GOTZ 2 BE SWEET LIKE 🍰

NOW LETZ TALK ABOUT , PIMPIN !

YEAH BOOBS ARE COOL ! BUT , I'LL GIVE U AN EXAMPLE. WE ALL KNO WHO , ANA KASPARIAN IS , SMH ! I FIND HER TO HONESTLY , LACK SENSE ! SO BASICALLY , SHE'S ( ONLY ) GOOD FOR SHOWING THE TITS , BECAUSE SHE'S STUPID , SORRY METH HOE

DONT GET MAD AT ME , CUZ I KEEP IT REAL. IF IT WAS A DUDE , HE WOULD WANT TO FUCK , N U WOULD STILL BE OFFENDED , TF !

ALSO. I ONLY GIVE , I DONT RECEIVE ! I AM A BOSS , AND I AINT SHOWIN ( NO ) VULNERABILITY TO NO BITCH IN THAT WAY , NEVER ! U GIVE IT UP TO ME ! I RUN SHIT AROUND HERE

DONT EVEN TRY IT ! ALSO. I DONT DO STRAP ON’S , 💯 ! IF U TRYNUH GET FUCKED , GO SEE YO NIGGUH

I'M A REAL ONE FOR REAL ! N WHEN I GET DIS BAG , I'M TRYNUH SEE SOME TITS , N SPEND SOME MONEY ! SIMPLE ! JUST OBEY , 💯

NOW. IF U MY MAIN LADY. THEN OBVIOUSLY , I'M EATING THE WHOLE BUFFET , N DATS , DAT 💯

IF WE JUST KICKIN IT , I'M NOT EATING UR BOX ! I DONT DO DAT SHIT , N I AINT NOBODYS SIMP , !

TF. I LIKE SEEING SEXI BITCHES WHO ARE THICK , SHOWING OFF THEM SEXI CURVES BITCH , 💯 , !

U DONT HAVE TO GET NUDE FOR ME , TOO EASY ! I LIKE , SEXI , N MATURE , HELL YEAH ! ALL DAY !

ALSO. I HATE WHEN BITCHES BE DOING THE MOST DOWNSTAIRS !

I HATE SEEIN ROUGH EXERCISES

IF MY GIRL EVER THOUGHT I CHEATED , I JUST SEEN SUM TITS

I'M A SIMPLE KIND OF BITCH , 💯

IN GIRL WORLD , ITS DIFFERENT !

CHEATING IS A DIFFERENT FLOW !

HONESTY IS THE BEST POLICY 💯

I THINK ALL WOMEN ARE BEAUTIFUL. EXCEPT , IF U GOT SOME STALE PUSSY , OFFERIN ME , SUM STALE ASS TATOR TOTS

BITCHES BE FRONTIN ! DONT BE NO SIMP ! DEESE BONY FOREIGN BITCHES , THINK , CUZ , THEY WEAR A CERTAIN OUTFIT , THEIR PUSSY IS JUSTIFIED ! STOP PLAYIN ! U TALKIN TO THE KING , !

I BEEN PULLIN PUSSY , WAY BEFORE I MET YO HOE ASS ! DAS Y I PASSED U , TO MY OLD HOMIE !

DAT NIGGUH FUX HOEZ ERRDAY , !

U NOT SPECIAL , THOT ASS BITCH

STOP REACHIN ! DAS HOW I KNOW , YO WACKY BOX IS WEAK !

U THIRSTY , THOT ASS HOE THO , !

METH HEAD ASS HOES , TRYNUH HIT A LICK , NEVER WILL HAPPEN

I AM A GOD-KING , 2 THESE HOES

I SCOPE U OUT , IF I DONT WANT YOU , I PASS U 2 THE BIG DOGGS !

NIGGUH , I PIMP HOES EVERYDAY

STUPID DUMMY ASS BITCH , FOH !

GTF OFF N OUT MY KITTY LITTER !

CATS NOT EVEN SUPPOSE TO SHARE THE SAME LITTER BOX HO

JESUS CHRIST IS A PIMP 2 A HOE !

HE ONLY IS GENTLE TO LADIES 💯

YO. I'LL SLAP YO ASS , WIT ANOTHER BIBLE VERSE JEZEBEL

JEZEBEL'S ARE FOR EVERYBODY !

[katherinelhughes]

A Car Accident in the Age of Impeachment

Dec. 11th—it’s becoming clear to me that I need to get some thoughts on paper before I can even hope to embrace any kind of holiday spirit.  It’s been a challenging few weeks.  I wrote my only other blog about a year ago, upon my return from a glorious trip to Ireland with my daughter.  I’m sorry if you got the wrong impression from that blog post.  No, Katherine is not all rainbows and unicorns.  Though I did see an astounding number of rainbows in Ireland, and I do have a Pillow Pet that is a rainbow unicorn.  But I digress…

It’s just that I’ve come to this really painful realization: IT’S US AGAINST THEM.  I know that this is the antithesis of the spirit of the holiday season.  But I’m going to need some kind of Scrooge-like epiphany right now to convince me otherwise.  I’m hoping that writing this blog will be the exorcism that gets this dangerous and demonic idea out of my head: it’s us against them.  

First, the car accident.  Nov. 5th—I’m traveling west on Touhy Avenue in a little stretch of Chicago that is between Niles and Park Ridge.  (…a fact that is meaningful only to Chicagoans)  Ahead of me I see a car pull slowly into my lane of traffic, and almost immediately veer into the oncoming lane, and back again.  Then I see the vehicle stopped on the side of the road, and as I pass, I see an elderly woman staring malevolently at me through the vehicle’s window.  Actually, I probably made up that part, in which the woman becomes this almost cartoonish representation of a mean old lady.  Maybe my psyche’s attempt to come to terms with what is about to happen…  Anyway, I’m relieved that she seems no longer to be a present danger on the road.  I come up to the next light, and as I sit there, reality suddenly shifts.  I hear and feel what I take at first to be an explosion, until I realize that someone has plowed into the rear end of my car.  It is of course the erratically-driving woman—my cartoon nemesis.  She has pushed my car into the car in front of me, but thankfully its occupants are unharmed.

I call to report the accident, which has already been reported by an off-duty officer who happens to be on the scene.  In minutes the police arrive and also, like circling vultures, a tow truck driver and the representative of the tow yard.  Both the police and the towing people are very solicitous, and want to be sure I’m okay.  And really, all things considered, I am.  I can’t say the same for the lady who hit me.  It becomes pretty clear that she is completely incapacitated, most likely by prescription med’s.  She is unable to answer the questions of the police, though she seems not to have sustained physical injuries, and they take her away in an ambulance.  The tow truck people are hovering around me, anxious to take my car away, but I insist on waiting until my husband arrives.  As we’re waiting, they open the lady’s car door and show me a gallon plastic bag filled with pill bottles.  On the passenger seat, in plain view.

And by the way, tow yards are a scam.  My car sat in that lot, racking up charges, until Nov. 11th.  The lot’s owner rarely answered his phone, and its hours were only 10 AM to 2 PM.  Remember the Steve Goodman song “Lincoln Park Pirates” about the infamous Lincoln Towing Service?  I should have been paying more attention!

Okay, I won’t draw out the details of the accident any further—you saw the picture.  It has become this script I deliver anyway, and I’m frankly ready for some new material.  And you’re probably wondering, it’s us against them, car accident, impeachment?  Where is she going with this?

In the aftermath of the accident, I am catching bits and pieces of the Intelligence Committee impeachment hearings on my rented car’s radio.  Some impressions of what I hear: 

Nov. 15th—Marie Yovanovitch, ambassador to Ukraine, reminds me of Christine Blasey Ford.  A very reasonable but somewhat soft-spoken woman.  Just the kind of woman that Donald Trump and his ilk like to bully.  Oh, I probably forgot to say how much I despise Donald Trump.  As a true liberal (Come on guys, can’t we all just get along?), it’s very painful to have to admit despising someone.  I give Nancy Pelosi kudos for praying for him—I’m not quite there on my journey toward enlightenment…

Nov. 20th—Gordon Sondland, ambassador to the EU: “(President Zelensky) loves your ass!”  Seriously?  And as journalist Ana Kasparian noted, hey, doesn’t the EU ambassador position cost at least $6 million? 

Nov.  21st—My new hero, Fiona Hill!  The way she squashes that ridiculous theory about Ukraine’s involvement in the 2016 election.  And that northeastern-England accent—simply delightful!  Yes, she’s from a coal-mining town, and her father lost his livelihood when the coal mines shut down.  Other countries in the developed world are shutting down their coal operations.  Not the US—our president ran on the promise of bringing back coal jobs!!!  Sorry, again I digress.

But my impression overall of the hearings?  It’s us against them.  Democrats versus Republicans.  What, did they all do debate team in high school?  Decide which side you’re on, and say ANYTHING you have to say to support that side’s position?  Of course I see the Republicans’ argument as completely bogus—that what Trump did doesn’t rise to high crimes and misdemeanors.  I think he should be impeached and then convicted by the senate.  It ain’t happening though.  Why?  Because it’s us against them.  Democratic control of the House and Republican control of the Senate. 

Until we have a multi-party system of government, we will be forever locked in this battle.  And until we admit that our system of government is a money-power oligarchy, we will never change the fact that most of us in this country are without true representation.  And by the way, I have to laugh at the “framers-of-the-constitution” talking point that the Democrats trot out constantly.  Oh yeah, that little group of money-power oligarchs that wrote our sacred document?  Donald Trump is only one in a long line of wealthy men who have wielded great power in this land.  Ooh, better go hug my unicorn pillow and calm down a bit!

But it’s not just in the political sphere that I’m feeling the us-against-them dynamic.  The whole car accident experience was fraught with it.  I certainly felt that I was in an adversarial position with my own insurance company.  Since they declared my car totaled, they had to give me an estimate of its value.  To them, it was not worth much—to me, it was invaluable.  Because the car was ten years old, and had about 153,000 miles on it, I didn’t even get enough to buy a lesser car—we had to fork over extra money to buy a replacement car that is two years older and not a hybrid.  Thankfully, I was coached not to accept the first offer I got, or we would have received even less. 

Memorable comments I got when I related my insurance woes: “Insurance companies are evil incarnate,” and “Most individuals walk away bloodied after an encounter with one.”  And I do know that I should be grateful that I didn’t walk away literally bloodied.  Just some bruises on my knees, and maybe some different pain in my back and shoulders.  Hard to be sure since this season can be hard on us violin-players anyway…

A little aside about cars.  I have always prided myself on avoiding attachment to earthly possessions—cars in particular.  I’m serious about this journey-toward-enlightenment thing.  But I think I actually had to mourn the loss of this car.  Maybe that’s normal—I don’t know since I’ve never had a car totaled before.  It was a red ’09 Toyota Camry Hybrid.  I am thankful that it gave its life so that I might be saved…

We’re always reminded to drive defensively, and believe me, I have wondered if there was something I could have done to avoid the accident.  But the thing that really bothers me is that this defensive posture extends to other areas beyond driving.  The us-against-them conflict seems to play out in so many arenas.  I feel that I’m having to relentlessly advocate for my own interests with the companies that are “providing services” for me.  I don’t like this defensive stance.  I resent the energy it requires—it could be used in much more creative ways.  Yeah, I’m talking to you, Cigna.  And you, Verizon.  And—well, the list goes on.

Dec. 11th—the impeachment hearings have continued into the Judiciary Committee and beyond, and there is deadlock in that particular us-against-them impasse.  Is the impeachment exercise also a waste of energy?  It’s hard to imagine that it will do anything but ramp up the animosity between the two sides.  I guess it has to be done for the sake of our democracy—oh right, I said we’re a money-power oligarchy, so never mind.  Meanwhile I will bury my head in the iridescent fur of my rainbow unicorn.  I want to believe that we’re all in this together.  Still waiting for that ghostly visit that will turn my head around before Christmas…