#ana is surprised that buddie isn't together

[howdoichooseablogname]

taylor starts a 'exes of the 118 support group'

she tracks down abby (after hearing about her from buck) and tatiana (now that took some digging), she also manages to get eva involved???

but some people were eager to join. ana, ali

others were asked to join

its just a group chat were they talk about whatever, but whenever the 118 does anything crazy (which why does it seem to be a weekly occurrences??) they end up talking about the 118. when times get rough they will also talk about their experiences with dating the 118

maybe in one universe where buck and taylor stay friends she tells him about this. and mention the fact many of them are betting on buddie, so he better make buddie happen so she wins and she'll split the winnings 50/50 (he can share his 50 with eddie)

also, for extra crack, marisol and kim end up becoming texting besties. after they talk about the whole eddie situation. taylor and ana rekindle thier friendship and maybe start dating (buck is the one who breaks the news to eddie and that is what makes eddie realize "wait. maybe i can be gay", natalia ends up winning the buddie bet if so)

tommy is there too and it's really awkward with abby. ali is the one who tells her that maybe she makes people gay. he ends up saying something that made taylor and tatiana call him out for misogyny. natalia wonders how buck could have dated him, and marisol mentioned that perhaps buck didn't know (cause she was around for his bi awakening)

if buck and taylor are still friends (they were amazing friends. i loved thier friendship so much!!!) she'd judge him hard for that. to his face

it will just be a silly fic to make people laugh. and hopefully make people bash some of these people less

no bashing allowed!

(especially with ana! why is it so bad with her? she's so nice!)

[prettyboybuckley]

30, for buddie please?

hi anon ❤️ thank you for the prompt! exhaustion got to me so it took me a little while to write it, but I hope you like it!

from the soft prompts: ‘this is my husband/wife/girlfriend/boyfriend/partner etc.’

Eddie never really figured out how to introduce Ana as his girlfriend without feeling awkward. It didn't surprise him at the time, because he'd felt the same about introducing Shannon as his wife, for a long time, at least.

So he'd always assumed that was kind of the norm. That he'd always feel awkward introducing his partner, or that maybe that's how most people feel doing that, even. 

In hindsight, that was a stupid thing to assume, probably.

The point is that when he and Buck start dating - and holy shit, they're actually dating - he expects it to be as awkward as it's always been. Perhaps even more awkward, considering that yes, this is Buck, but he's also never dated a guy before. He's never introduced anyone to his boyfriend before.

(Well, that's not entirely true, but those were all people that already knew Buck. It wasn't so much introducing Buck as it was telling those people that they were dating now.)

And then comes the PTA meeting.

Eddie doesn't particularly like PTA meetings, they are long and boring and half the shit that gets discussed is pretty much trivial. He goes anyway because he cares about his son's education, and it's polite to show his face and interact with the other parents. 

He doesn't expect Buck to see it on the calendar on the fridge, turn to him with a bright but somewhat hesitant smile, and ask: "Can I come with?"

"Yeah, of course," Eddie answers without even having to think about it for too long. It'll be much more fun with Buck by his side. 

The realization that he's going to have to introduce Buck to all these parents - at least the ones that haven't met him before - doesn't cross his mind until they're already getting out of the car in the school parking lot.

It's probably a good thing that it doesn't, or he would’ve been all up in his head about it. As it is, he freezes right there next to the car, watching couples and single parents alike make their way into the school.

"You alright?" Buck's voice sounds, suddenly right next to him. He must have walked around the car while Eddie was lost in thought. Buck's hand slips into his, tangling their fingers together.

"I'm fine, just thinking. C'mon, let's go."

He pulls Buck along to the school entrance, greeting some parents he vaguely recognizes along the way. Once inside, they follow the directions to the gym, and it's only when they're there that Eddie finally pauses. His hand is still wrapped tightly around Buck's, and he has no intention of letting go, but that also means that someone is going to notice.

"Eddie, hi!" someone says, and he turns around too quickly, pulling Buck along and making him stumble a bit. See, there's the awkwardness already. It's Katie's mom, Jennifer, who Eddie has talked to on multiple occasions. He's pretty sure she tried to flirt with him in the beginning, though he isn't sure why she stopped. "I see you've brought someone along this time?"

This is usually where it gets awkward, where Eddie stutters out an introduction and embarrasses himself and his partner in the process.

But this time he follows Jennifer's gaze to look at Buck, and he finds Buck smiling at him, soft and so damn happy, as if there's nowhere he'd rather be than here at this PTA meeting with Eddie, and it's not awkward at all.

"Yeah, this is my boyfriend, Buck," Eddie replies, only taking his eyes off Buck at the end of it, and he pulls Buck a little closer as he smiles at Jennifer. "Figured it wasn't fair that he's only been getting the fun parts of raising a kid now that we finally got our shit together."

He and Jennifer both laugh at the indignant squawk Buck lets out at that, and Eddie only grins wider when he stumbles because of the little shove Buck gives him with his shoulder. It's not as if he's in any danger of falling when they're still holding hands, and as soon as he's stabilized himself again, he's pressed right back along Buck's side.

Buck is grinning, too, when Eddie looks at him, and he allows himself a moment to get lost in his boyfriend's eyes. Turns out that didn't feel awkward at all, it simply felt right.

"Just kidding, we both know you've been helping with the less fun parts all this time, too." He pauses for a moment, then turns back to Jennifer. "Now, Jen, have you heard any good gossip lately?"

Next to him, Buck snorts, and Eddie is going to get teased later for caring about gossip in the first place, but he's pretty sure that his boyfriend listens just as attentively while Jennifer tells them of the rumor she heard about two of the teachers hooking up.

[whateverthedragonswant]

Buck and Eddie standing together at the end of the grave speaks volumes.

Buck putting flowers down while Eddie makes the sign of the cross in blessing.

Eddie: "We're all gonna die alone." (notice he says this after Buck tells him what Natalia said)

Eddie: "That was a beautiful thing Natalia did for her." -> I see you, Eddie

Eddie: "Really? Dating someone you rescued? You know that never ends well." (like I said, she's Ali all over again, but she's also Taylor and Ana)

Love Eddie's eye roll btw.

Buck: "There's something different about her. I feel like she sees me."

"You know, like she sees me for who I really am and what I've been through."

"I think she might even see more of me than I see in myself."

Considering what we saw happen on his date with Natalia and how this whole setup is happening, it's obvious Buck is trying to force something here that just isn't reality. This could be the result of the trauma he went through, but he had better immediate chemistry with Taylor when meeting her on an emergency. This isn't where Buck is supposed to be headed (meaning what his endgame will be) and the show is going to great lengths to showcase that. Which is why we have this scene (and Marie being Eddie's Thomas from 2x08 which doesn't surprise me that Eddie is thinking of the long-term future and Buck is still not thinking big-picture yet, not completely).

And sure enough:

Eddie: "Look, I know we razzed you about your whole math skills, maybe I even tried to get rich off of 'em, but to be honest, you haven't been the same since it happened." -> not only is math mentioned again (Buddie) but it's made very clear that Eddie sees how much Buck is floundering & considering what Buck just said about Natalia (who thinks his experience was really cool and exciting) but we didn't see her seeing into him like this, the show is telling you who really sees Buck the way Buck just described

And Eddie has his own realization and looks down at the grave. "But how could you be?" -> he hasn't been the same since Shannon died and he knows it

Buck: "The truth is I still don't know how to act. I am different, but I feel like I have to try and be the same old Buck. Mostly for the sake of everyone else." -> as we already knew, Buck is being performative with Natalia (aka flirting like the same old Buck would do & dating a woman he met on an emergency) & Eddie pretty much called it

Eddie: "You know, you don't have to be anything for anybody. Nobody is ever the same, from one day to the next. Experiences like this, they change us." -> not only is this the absolute truth, he's giving Buck (and himself) permission to be different and not be the same ol', same ol'

Eddie: "So what changed in you?"

Buck: "When I woke up in that hospital, I felt like I had gotten away with something."

Eddie: "You cheated death."

Buck: "My life could have ended. Right then and there, but it didn't. That has to mean something, right?"

Eddie: "It means you're one lucky guy."

Buck: "I don't think I'm gonna get that lucky again."

Eddie: "Well, maybe you don't have to. Lightning doesn't strike the same place twice."

Buck: "Which is why I have to make the most of every single moment. 'Cause from here on out, it's all a gift."

So not only do we have Buck and Eddie being paralleled to two out of the three main couples this episode (Maddie and Chim go through the auditing together, Bobby is there for Athena when her suspect dies unexpectedly) but we get this scene. And this scene is SO important. Not only from what I mentioned above but also the very scene itself happening. Eddie and Buck have admitted to the audience that they're different and they were standing together at a fresh grave (recent death -> old versions of themselves/their journeys) and had an emotionally intimate moment. When Eddie said Buck didn't have to perform, Buck jumped at the chance to speak his truth. Eddie asked what changed in Buck and we find out, but Buck also didn't ask Eddie this because through Athena, we found out Eddie has more questions than answers. And we've watched him get answers the past two seasons.

This is why when people say 'oh KR is separating Buddie' and 'Buddie will never happen' I shake my head. Because Buddie has been there all along and strengthening to lead to what we're hoping for, for some time now and this scene literally just doubled down on Buddie AGAIN. The same episode where it looks like Buck might have a new love interest, they're already telling us 'don't get comfortable, this is not here to stay'. By Buck's own words, he's being performative and trying to act like old Buck. In the same conversation he talks to Eddie about Natalia. And then they added how Eddie saw the real Buck in contrast to Buck thinking Natalia sees the real him and how it's important to him.

Literally, I almost expected some heart eyes to pop out in this scene or some sort of self-realization, that's how impactful this scene is for Buddie and how blatant it is. And a full episode after Eddie shot down his own date who mutually agreed.

At this point, we might get Buddie sooner than we think. I get the feeling Natalia will be the last ditch effort/pit stop before we get there.

[littlespoonevan]

(Anon who started her ask with 'I find it so refreshing' here.) First of all i'm sorry, i didn't intend to prompt you to comment on "mean" people in the fandom, ofc we all have different experiences!

But anyway, yess you understand me! There would have to be textual confirmation first that both buck and eddie are lgbt before going into buddie. It's easy for us to see "hints", but casual viewers? I rewatched some of 911 with my mom and like yours, she is a great example lol. When eddie and ana started dating in s4, my mom was convinced eddie had found the love of his life, you can't just have him say "I am in love with buck" without thoroughly and unambiguously hinting at and pointing towards that first.

I imagine it would be a bit difficult to suddenly have two bisexual awakening story lines without having either of them seem "forced". I'm curious what you think would be good ways to have both sexuality story lines and canon buddie happen, in a realistic way? 👀

oh anon, you're fine!! i just don't tend to venture outside my corner of the fandom so i'm not really one for discussing wider conflicts and such 😅

as for your question, in terms of where canon is right now, i agree doing two sexual awakening stories at once probably wouldn't be the road they'd go down but i still think they could pull it off in way that would make sense for the wider audience. for example, i think what could work is if they focus on eddie first just because his storyline is so prevalent at the moment. i'm quite married to the idea of another character pointing it out to him, or at least observing eddie's feelings while he watches buck from the other side of the room. and then seeing a masterful face journey that i know ryan guzman could pull off as he realises just how important buck is to him.

like to throw out a hypothetical - if someone in the season finale (i'd love if it was hen or karen) made some comment about buck being there for eddie and chris or something similar to the ana "readymade family" stuff and then for eddie to not freak out before wondering why he's not freaking out, you know?? and then he looks at buck across the room with chris and there’s the realisation of oh - this is different. (and what a Stunning full circle moment that would be in comparison to 5x01)

and so if we had a season or half a season of eddie grappling with his feelings for buck they could also tie it in with his therapy and explore his sexuality that way??? like re: his parents and his idea of a family and toxic masculinity etc etc

on the flip side, even in canon, i've always sort of been team "buck knows he likes men". like, it would Not be hard to throw in a line about how back when he was travelling or during his 1.0 phase that he'd slept with men before. and y'know, i'm not a bisexual man so it's not my place to say he doesn't need to experience a big journey like eddie but oh i just think it would be so impactful if the thing that catches buck by surprise isn't his sexuality but his feelings.

like i want eddie to tell him he loves him and i want that to rock buck to his very core. because he's loved eddie so steadfastly and with such conviction for so long that i really don't think he realises just how deeply it runs or what it means because he's never taken the time to examine it. so buck suddenly questioning everything he thought he knew about love and what it means to be a partner and how he's been doing that with eddie the whole time without realising?? that would be DELICIOUS.

again, i do think it'd be a good way to bring his sexuality up organically and maybe spoon feed the audience about how Not Straight some of his and eddie's moments have been too. like if he's thinking back over their moments together and talking through them with maddie and then seeing their dynamic in a new light???

to me, that would all be pretty realistic and within the realms of possibility in the show but again it would probably take a season of commitment to it to get the general audience there, y'know?? idk, either way i think if they decide to go there they'll do it justice. this is just the best way i can envision it in my head 🥰

[wackybuddiemewbs]

On the matter of gifts

Had to think again about the scene between Buck and Eddie putting the gifts under the Christmas tree.

First and foremost: Buck is the certified cutest™ when he tries to take ALL OF THE GIFTS.

But on a more serious note: It was a great way of visualizing how things are going for them right now, wasn't it?

Like, both are piling up. A lot. Buck is taking so many of them he barely keeps his balance and nearly loses some of them. Eddie has a good amount on his hands as well, but he is - on the surface at least - better *controlled*.

Basically, it's how we see them "handling" right now, which is actually not at all that great.

Both have a stack of things to unwrap/unravel. They have a lot to carry. But they are just walking alongside each other. They don't (yet) share in those things, share the burden. They don't talk about it, not past a certain point. Eddie *does* share something very important with Buck, which is great, but he isn't actually sharing what it does *to him*. Because this is not just about Christopher being upset. This is about Eddie feeling like he's not good enough. And Buck's words of reassurance don't reach through to him (yet anyway). Buck talks to himself in the end.

Things are left unsaid. More packages are added. Things are piling up, boys. I can only repeat it: It's piling up!!!

Buck is dealing with his separation from his loved ones. Feeling like he has to remove himself from the team for the overall good - only for Eddie to actually follow through with it. Maybe feeling like he hasn't and still isn't helping Eddie and/or Christopher. Feeling like he is underperforming as a friend (not wanting to be a downer at the party by simply and understandably not feeling merry this year) and as a boyfriend (not finding the perfect gift for Taylor). As being not good enough as he is.

Eddie is still dealing (not really) with his PTSD. With Christopher's trauma. With being back on a job that got him back into a war zone when that's not what being a firefighter should be. With Christopher being upset about the danger of him dying. With the breakup with Ana and those many muffins. Because he and Chris still didn't really talk about that on-screen. With his anxiety. With his fear of underperforming as a father. As being not good enough as he is...

Parallels much, methinks???

In the end, both put the gifts under the tree, creating separate stacks. And just as interestingly, I think there is something about the fact that they are not really ordered in such a way that they have steady footing. Buck's stack looks like it's about to fall over.

And surprise! It fell over by the end of the episode!

And now I made myself sad!

On the upside of that tilted stack... It remains great Buddie potential. Because Eddie and Buck prove to be *that* person for each other that they go to, in order to talk. Buck is one of the few people Eddie confides in about his anxiety of underperforming as a father. Eddie tore through a lot of Buck's traumas last season with just "Because, Evan." They are more than best friends.

But yeah, stacking, piling... Boys, you got work to do! Together! C'mon!

[matan4il]

Hello again! I hope everything goes great for you. I continue to regret my poor English and I hope that I am well understood. I have so many questions to comment on... that I don't even know where to start. Congratulations on the three metas that you have made!! They are wonderful! I'll start with Eddie's panic. In the end Eddie followed his heart... but do you think the panic attacks were just because of Ana or could it have to do with him starting to feel things for some boy (Buck)? Thank you!

+ Hello again! I don´t fit everything you wanted to say in the other post, sorry! Maybe it was just my imagination, but in the scene (chapter 2) very subtly, when Eddie and Buck are talking about Eddie's panic, I can see behind Eddie the blue bunks all the time and behind Buck the red fire trucks Can it mean something or am I fantasizing about Buddie? Regarding the scene of Eddieana's breakup, he has his arms crossed when she touches him. Sorry to ask a lot, but I would love to know your opinion!

Hi lovely, it's so wonderful to hear from you again! *HUGS* Thank you so much for the kind words, I'm so happy you like the meta posts! I'm doing better than I was, though there's still a lot on my plate, so I'm not really okay. I hope you are doing good? And your English is great, never worry about it!

So, here's the thing about Eddie's panic attack. He has it over thinking about a future with Ana, because on some level he knows he's with the wrong person. Why should she be that? On paper she's great. He does think she's pretty, they have a common cultural background, she's good with kids as a teacher, she's smart, Chris loves her...

But if you're already emotionally taken, even the most perfect person ever would be the wrong one. And I think Eddie is emotionally taken and has been for quite a while before he even met Ana. He meets her in 312, but by 303, we hear him telling Buck that there's no one in the world he'd trust with his son. And Christopher is Eddie's heart. Bobby's words in s4 even explicitly point that out. Eddie has given his heart to Buck before Ana even crossed his path. She never stood a chance. So in a sense, this has always been about Buck. It's sort of confirmed in 413 & 414, when right after Carla puts it into words, that Eddie isn't feeling for Ana what he should, Eddie is shot and the whole thing is framed as being tied to Buck, to his presence there, to Eddie reaching out to him, to him saving Eddie, to then Eddie in the hospital making sure that Buck knows how much he's wanted and chosen. It might require a little more nudging for Eddie to fully realize this, but I think in terms of emotions, he's already there, he's in love with Buck.

I had another look at the bunk talk scene and I see what you mean! I'm still not sure, but this is def going on the pro and con list... thank you for pointing it out!

Oh, the touching during that scene was clearly a metaphor for where Ana vs Eddie were in their relationship at that point. She's looking for a way in. I think she wasn't in love with Eddie, the main last thing she tells him isn't "you're great" or "I really liked you", it's "you're an amazing dad"... I think she had the same idea as Eddie regarding why they could be good together, she just wasn't ready to let go of that idea yet, unlike Eddie. So he closes up to her, because this is difficult for him. He's hurting her and he doesn't want to. His arms are crossed in front of him, which is a defensive posture. His walls are up and they have to be for him to do the thing that's right for both of them. And he has his back to the fridge, this is a battle position. On the battlefield, if you don't have other soldiers behind you, your back is exposed, you're vulnerable, so you need to take a position where something behind you blocks any surprise attack. Eddie, the ex-soldier, is in a full-on defensive position in more than one way. So her trying to dig in between his closed arms, a form of one last attempt to request that he rethink this, is very meaningful. It is uncomfortable to watch her try to touch him like that, it's meant to be. And it shows just how hard this really is on Eddie, how strong he had to be to keep his ground here. It only makes me even prouder of him that he did, that he didn't give in, didn't take the easier route of letting things go when he saw how much she didn't want the relationship to end.

Thank you for the asks, hon! I hope you have a great weekend! xoxox