#always. i'm just. failing Badly. at even the most basic human rituals. | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

moe-broey · 2 months ago

Text

Random small talk event at the yard sard set-up, very nice lady, but ESP when asking "Oh are you still in school? ☺️" I literally never know how to say "Oh I graduated a long time ago. Yeah. I mostly do art now" and she says "Oh to sell?" and so far I'm having a reasonable and effective small talk conversation, when I hit that pitfall and lock up and I worry I'm becoming unfriendly bc I locked up. Because I REALLY don't know how to say, "Nah, I kind of do fuck all. I'm 25 and I do fuck all. For nothing." Like I can see the conversation tree in real time and I know that's the worst dialogue option. And there are no other dialogue options there's just Press B to get the fuck outta there!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'M SORRY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

#MAN........#like it was inconsequential but always. when i have these interactions and esp when i come out the other side thinking #'yeah that wasn't my best work. i hope they don't think i dislike them or that i was inconsistent'#always. i'm just. failing Badly. at even the most basic human rituals.#a lot a small talk discourse fails to understand that it's free dialogue options. if you. have the knowledge of the dialogue options.#but i'm stuck between a quick time event and my knee-jerk reaction to answer honestly (but How Honestly????)#and i'm also observing my neighbor's old man humor and scripts that are always a hit and i'm like. hm. interesting....#if perhaps i can replicate such a thing........#can somebody please for the love of god help me. every day i wake up and i'm autistic.#'inconsistent' ???? inconsiderate. hello #idk maybe both can work. 20 regular interactions in w me things are going swimmingly we're good acquaintances ect ect #i can still just fully forget how to be a person and i clam up and get impersonal and curt.#it's literally no ones fault. i'd dare even say it's not even my own fault. it's just. the autism experience.#also something something there should be more scripts for people who haven't achieved certain milestones in life #an easy way to say 'yeah i barely graduated highschool and i never went to college and i can't hold a job and i live w my dad #and i don't mix my passions w profit bc it's the primary way i regulate myself and it's all about my special interest anyway #AND i'm 25. so. real catch of a guy here tbh'#please for the love of god Help Me.

4 notes · View notes