#always open to correction from actual r(r)oma people

[theserpentsadvocate]

Tell HolyClothing Racial Slurs ARE a Big Deal

I have two friends getting married this summer, and I’m in both wedding parties, so naturally they’ve been sending me pictures of dresses to look at. Since my BFF is both pagan and really into LARP, she also considered some dresses from a historical/fantasy clothing site, which would be great, normally (I got my prom dress from one, and it was awesome)... but I was really disconcerted to see that one of the dresses she was looking at for me had a racial slur in the description.

This is really common, unfortunately, with sites like that, because there’s an unfortunate lack of awareness (at least in North America, I can’t speak for elsewhere) about the fact that g*psy is a really offensive and oppressive term for the Romani/Rromani people (and an offensive and inaccurate term to use for other nomadic groups like Irish Travellers).

Anyway, since the company is committed to ethical practices, I hoped they’d be receptive to a request to change the descriptions on clothing featuring that word (which also appears in the hover-over text for the tab), and I sent them a long, very polite email about it, including a link to a Romani person discussing the issue. Unfortunately, this was not the case. Evidently, HolyClothing had been alerted to this previously, but because their Facebook followers didn’t see an issue with it, and since they’re of the opinion that they’re using it in a non-derogatory way, they think it’s fine to keep using it.

I’m sending them a still polite but markedly disapproving response email, but if they want to ignore me... they’ll ignore me. However, if they were suddenly inundated with polite-but-markedly-disapproving (or even polite-and-utterly-distressed) emails and Facebook comments, that might sway them.

I’ll include all the emails under a cut. If you want to help, you can email them at  store@holyclothing.com for Customer Service, or info@holyclothing.com for Press/PR. If that’s a little overwhelming, their Facebook page is here.

Please send them an email or a Facebook message or comment if you can. If you can’t, for whatever reason, please don’t feel bad about it, and signal boost if you’re up for it.

Here’s my correspondance with HolyClothing, unaltered except for spaces for readability and editing of personal details: Bolding for clarity of formatting.

My first email to them:

Hey, I posted this on your Facebook earlier because I couldn't find your 'Contact' link on the website. I suspect this is the fault of my computer, which displayed a few bugs when I was looking through the website for other things; sometimes it's kind of temperamental.

So, here's what I said:

"I'm looking at some clothing from your shop because my friend likes them for her bridesmaid dresses, and while I really like a lot of your clothes, I'm uncomfortable about buying clothes from a company that uses a racial slur in their descriptions.

I know it's common for companies that sell historical- and fantasy-inspired clothes to use the term 'gypsy' to refer to a certain style of clothing, but it is in fact an offensive and marginalizing term to a minority group which is still persecuted today, and I would feel a lot better if you would address it, and, hopefully, change the names on articles like this one:

http://holyclothing.com/…/kyla-scalloped-hem-gothic-embroid…

Here is an article by a person who IS Romani explaining why the word is offensive and some of her negative experiences with similar branding. http://gypsyappropriations.blogspot.ca/…/problem-with-word-…

Thank you for taking the time to read and respond to my concerns." Since I'm off Facebook I'd like to elaborate - I know the company is based in India, but I understand that it's run by Canadians. It's VERY common in North America for non-Romani people not to know about the offensive implications of the word, and I myself (I am not Romani) only found out this information a few years ago. I am sure that your company's usage of the word was done unintentionally rather than callously.

At the same time, as you can see from the article I've linked, using the word the way you have can cause huge amounts of unintentional harm to Romani people who see it, and who have to deal with people who have normalized it because of seeing similar things, so I really felt I had to say something immediately.

I'm very conflicted - I love most of your clothing and I'm thrilled to find an ethically-sourced and semi-Canadian company selling the sort of thing I'm so interested in... and, of course, I want to make my friend's wedding perfect for her, which includes wearing whatever she picks out. But I'm really uncomfortable purchasing from a business that uses a racial slur not just in some of their product descriptions, but in their branding.

Given HolyClothing's dedication to ethical business, I'm confident you'll address the matter in a satisfactory manner, which would send a good message to your customers, as well as distinguishing you among other historical and fantasy-esque stores who use similar branding.

Thank you so much for your time and attention,

Riley [last name redacted]

Their response:

Hello Riley,

Thank you for taking the time to email us. This has been addressed in the past with HolyClothing and more than one poll was taken on our Facebook page. We are not using the term in a derogatory manner and to date, have not received any complaints from Romani people.

We appreciate your feedback.

Regards - Brenda

And my latest email:

I'm really disappointed to hear that. I had higher expectations from you as a business.

May I suggest that you read (or reread) the post at the link I sent you ( http://gypsyappropriations.blogspot.ca/2010/04/problem-with-word-gypsy.html ), in which the large guest section details a Romani person's experience, and demonstrates how the term is no less hurtful even when not used with malice. There's also an explanation of how such use of the term contributes to erasure of the Romani people (the author of the blog is regularly told that she's not real), and gives some context to its history and utter inappropriateness when used by anyone who isn't Romani. If you require anything more than that, it's easy to find Romani people discussing or explaining this in various places online, and I would also be willing to provide you with as much additional material as you require.

I'd also like to suggest that perhaps it's time to set up another one of those polls - but even if the response doesn't condemn the term, it would reflect well on HolyClothing as a company, especially one committed to ethical practices, to do what's right rather than simply what's easiest.

(Incidentally, in my experience it is very easy to rebrand anything described as 'g*psy' as either 'boho' or 'pirate' as is fitting. If you find 'pirate' doesn't quite fit your store, you could always try 'nomad', 'hippie', 'flower child', and so on, or in specific descriptions, substitute one of your other branding terms, like, again, 'boho', or 'peasant' as appropriate. Simply dropping it from your hover-over tab description would still leave you with four adjectives which still convey very effectively the variety and type of clothing you provide.)

Thank you for your time. [initials redacted]

[macdizzle2017]

My “Get To Know Me Uncomfortably Well” Answers

*QUESTIONS ARE NOT ORIGINALLY MINE*

@thischaoticmess

1. What is your middle name?

Brooke.

2. How old are you?

19.

3. What is your birthday?

January 18th, 1999.

4. What is your zodiac sign?

I could probably google it, but I’m too lazy right now. 

5. What is your favorite color?

Green.

6. What is your lucky number?

I don’t really have one, but I have always said it was 2, which is actually my sister’s jersey number.

7. Do you have any pets?

My dad and step-mom have two dogs, Maya and Dakota.

8. Where are you from?

Born and raised in Plano, Texas.

9. How tall are you?

It goes between 5′8″ and 5′9″.

10. What shoe size are you?

I have big feet, okay? 11.

11. How many pairs of shoes do you own?

A lot. Too many probably. I’m a shoe person. 

12. What was your last dream about?

It was more of a nightmare. It was about my step-brother, who just passed a few days ago.

13. What talents do you have?

Lol. Funny. None. Well, maybe being annoying.

14. Are you psychic in any way?

Nope!

15. Favorite song?

Currently? Happier by Ed Sheeran. Of course.

16. Favorite movie?

The Titanic. Duh.

17. Who would be your ideal partner?

No clue. I’m pretty open minded. ;)

18. Do you want children?

Yes!

19. Do you want a church wedding?

Nope.

20. Are you religious?

Nope!

21. Have you ever been to the hospital?

Too many times.

22. Have you ever got in trouble with the law?

Yep. Only once. I don’t know if I’ll ever tell anyone else about it though.

23. Have you ever met any celebrities?

A few. Fifth Harmony is the ones I remember the most. 

24. Baths or showers?

Showers.

25. What color socks are you wearing?

Black and grey.

26. Have you ever been famous? 

For like a day. Weird story.

27. Would you like to be a big celebrity?

Sometimes I think I would. Other times I think, mmm.. Better not.

28. What type of music do you like?

Anything I can vibe with, which is just about anything.

29. Have you ever been skinny dipping?

Nope!

30. How many pillows do you sleep with?

One or two. Depends where I am honestly.

31. What position do you usually sleep in?

Curled up in a ball lol.

32. How big is your house?

I don’t have my own. My parent’s house is huge.

33. What do you typically have for breakfast?

A protein shake.

34. Have you ever fired a gun?

Yep. Once. Which is ironic, considering my parents have owned a gun store since I was born.

35. Have you ever tried archery?

Yes. My grandpa used to take me. I sucked, obviously.

36. Favorite clean word?

Umm... Let’s see. Wow?

37. Favorite swear word?

Fuck. For sure. 

38. What’s the longest you've ever gone without sleep?

3 & 1/2 days.

39. Do you have any scars?

Oh boy, do I. 

40. Have you ever had a secret admirer?

Not that I’m aware of. I doubt it. 

41. Ar you a good liar?

Definitely not. 

42. Are you a good judge of character?

Nope. I’m wrong 99% of the time. 

43. Can you do any other accents other than your own?

Nope!

44. Do you have a strong accent?

No?

45. What is your favorite accent?

A spanish accent.

46. What is your personality type?

Quiet, until you get to know me. 

47. What is your most expensive piece of clothing?

Currently, a blazer I just bought lol.

48. Can you curl your tongue?

Yep!

49. Are you an innie or an outie?

Innie.

50. Left or right handed.

Right. 

51. Are you scared of spiders?

Of course.

52. Favorite Food?

Macaroni & Cheese. Or my Oma’s red cabbage.

53. Favorite foreign food?

Mexican for sure!

54. Are you a clean or messy person? 

Depends where I’m at mentally that day. Most of the time, super clean.

55. Most used phrase?

“I’m okay.”

56. Most used word?

Yep.

57. How long does it take for you to get ready?

20-30 minutes.

58. Do you have such of an ego?

No?

59. Do you suck or bite lollipops?

Both!

60. Do you talk to yourself?

All the time. 

61. Do you sing to yourself?

All the time!

62. Are you a good singer?

I like to think I’m the best, but the truth is.. Hell no.

63. Biggest fear?

Abandonment. 

64. Are you a gossip?

I try not to be.

65. Best dramatic movie you’ve seen?

No clue honestly.

66. Do you like long or short hair?

Both.

67. Can you name all 50 states of America?

Probably not?

68. Favorite school subject?

Spanish!

69. Extrovert or introvert?

Introvert. 

70. Have you ever been scuba diving?

Yep. I couldn’t do it. I sucked. I panicked

71. What makes you nervous?

Everything. Feelings.

72. Are you scared of the dark?

Yep.

73. Do you correct people when they make mistakes?

I try not to, but it happens every now and then.

74. Are you ticklish?

Not really actually.

75. Have you ever started a rumor?

I’m sure I have at some point.

76. Have you ever been in a position of authority?

Yes.

77. Have you ever drank underage?

Yes. Just started. 

78. Have you ever done drugs?

Nope.

79. Who was your first real crush?

Can’t say. I have horrible memory honestly.

80. How many piercings do you have?

I have my ears pierced twice, but that’s it.

81. Can you roll your R’s?

Yes!

82. How fast can you type?

I don’t know. Pretty fast I guess.

83. How fast can you run?

Run? Me? Lol. You have me dead on the floor mija.

84. What color is your hair?

Brown. 

85. What color are your eyes?

Blue.

86. What are you allergic to?

Latex.

87. Do you keep a journal?

No. I’m terrified that if I did, someone would open it and read all my thoughts.

88. What do your parents do?

My dad owns a gun store, my step-mom works insurance, my mom works real estate, and my step-dad is an engineer.

89. Do you like your age?

I guess?

90. What makes you angry?

Too much. 

91. Do you like your own name?

Every now and then. 

92. Have you already thought of baby names, and if so what are they?

Not really. I have always liked the name Spencer though.

93. Do you want a boy or a girl for a child?

Both? 

94. What are your strengths?

Pushing people away.

95. What are your weaknesses?

Everything else.

96. How did you get your name?

Honestly, I’ve never asked so I’m not sure. 

97. Were your ancestors royalty?

I don’t think so lol.

98. Do you have any scars?

Yes..

99. Color of your bedspread?

Grey and white. 

100. Color of your room?

White.