#always a great topic to broach here because LO does so fucking much of it LMAO

[tobegthequestion]

New Chapter!

here’s chapter 2 of ‘you just can't see it yet’, my clexa fic! you can read it on AO3 here. 

“You’re insane,” Anya says over the phone. Raven spent a good half-hour explaining her plan last night, and it’s still mostly lost on Anya. “They’re not into each other.”

“Yeah, not yet,” Raven replies and Anya can hear the smirk on her face. “Look, Anya, this is gonna be amazing. I’m gonna work on Clarke while you work on Lexa, and we’re gonna create the best ship this sixsome has ever seen!”

“Didn’t you just say yesterday that you and Octavia are at the very apex of the lesbian community?”

“Okay, the second best ship in our sixsome,” Raven clarifies and Anya has to bite her lip to keep from making a comment about her and Luna existing too. 

“Anyway, I was thinking we do this in several phases: First, we get them over their exes, and then we go from there. I know Clarke wants to act like she doesn’t care about Finn, but she totally does.”

“Yeah, same with Lexa,” Anya decides to play into Raven’s hand. “She’s trying to pretend it’s not getting to her, but it’s so obvious.”

“Yeah, I figured as much, but still! This is why I need you on board with the mission, I need a Lexa operator.”

“You’re making this a much bigger deal than it has to be,” Anya points out and she hears Raven’s offended gasp.

“You’re right, it’s not a big deal,” Raven retorts. “It’s a huge deal! These are our best friends, and they need this!”

I’m starting to think you need this more than they do, Anya almost mutters but keeps it to herself. “Right. Fuck it, I’m there.”

“You’ll do it?” Raven asks but doesn’t wait for a response before whooping. 

“Great, Clarke won’t be home for dinner tomorrow, so come by and we’ll work it all out.”

“Can I bring Luna?”

“No!” Raven shouts immediately. “I’m not telling Octavia, so you can’t tell Luna. It’s best if we keep this to ourselves until it starts to develop, we can’t risk any cross-contamination. Think of it like a chemistry lab.”

“What would you know about chem labs?” Anya snorts. “You only passed the final because I wrote the formula for the percent compositions of elements on your arm, the Fahrenheit to Celsius equation on your thigh, and Boyle’s law on your other elbow!”

“Says the one who made me show up to your Intro to Mechanics progress evaluation, pretending to be you, to resolve engine failure since you were busy fingerbanging Luna into the floorboards to go to class!”

“Wow, that was uncalled for,” Anya feels the blush rising in her cheeks. “Fine, I won’t tell her, but it has nothing to do with your cross-contamination bullshit.”

“Great, talk soon, and I’ll-” Raven’s sentence cuts off when Anya hits the red “end call” button, heading back downstairs and leaving her phone on the bed. 

“Hey, who were you talking to?” Luna says as Anya comes up behind her, molding into the shape of her back.

“Just Raven,” Anya mumbles into her girlfriend’s neck. “She wanted to know how Lexa’s doing.”

“And how is Lexa doing?” Luna turns around to face the taller woman. “She’s either been working or apartment hunting since Costia left.”

“I think she’s okay,” Anya sighs. “I wouldn’t know, though. She hasn’t really been saying much to anyone, not even Clarke. I think the whole situation is getting to her more than we thought.”

“She should spend some more time with Clarke. They both just went through breakups, and they’ve always been the closest out of all of us.”

“Right…” Anya murmurs, the urge to tell Luna all about Raven’s plan to get the two of them together incredibly strong. Luckily for her, the sound of a key turning in the lock forces both women’s heads to the door, where Lexa pushes through the doorway and drops a bag on the ground.

“Please, you two, not in the kitchen,” she shakes her head when her eyes land on her friends’ embrace. “I went shopping for some apartment supplies, I’ll be back down in a minute.”

“Can’t you just use supplies from your old apartment?” Luna points out, moving away from Anya to continue cooking.

“She doesn’t want to go back there,” someone says as the door gets kicked open, revealing a disheveled Clarke with boxes in her arms.

“Lex, I can-” Anya starts but Clarke tuts over her.

“Don’t bother,” she says. “I offered to clear it out for her but she said no.”

“Clarke, are you staying for dinner?” Luna asks, measuring out portions of rice.

“Oh, I should get back,” Clarke shakes her head politely. “We still on for tomorrow, Lexy?”

“Yeah, for sure,” Lexa smiles and Clarke’s eyes seem to sparkle at the reply. Anya takes note of it and rolls her eyes, but deep down, she thinks it’s kind of cute. 

#

“Okay, I’ll admit I was a bit skeptical at first,” Anya says as she lays on Raven’s couch the next night, “but I totally see it now.”

“Right?” Raven grins smugly. “What turned you to the dark side?”

“Yesterday, Lexa confirmed their plans for tonight and there was just this look in Clarke’s eye, I don’t know how to explain it.”

“The gleam,” Raven muses. “I’ve been seeing it for years.” Anya sighs fondly at her friend’s idiocy as she sips her glass of wine. “I think Clarke’ll be easy,” Raven hums. “She’s such a mess that all we have to do is make her realize that Lexa’s been the one for her all along, and then she won’t be able to control herself.”

“What about Lexa?”

“She’s gonna be a tough nut to crack,” the mechanic sits up from her slumped position. “I’ve tried to broach the topic before, and she’s completely in denial.”

“I don’t know if it can be classified as denial,” Anya shakes her head. “I’d file it under ‘oblivious’ before anything else.”

“Yeah, fair enough,” she nods. “We just have to figure out a way to get her to fall in love with Clarke.”

“Easier said than done.”

#

“So, are you feeling any better about what happened with Finn?” Lexa asks before taking another bite of her pasta. The best friends made plans a few days earlier to grab dinner at Mount Weather, one of Lexa’s favorite vegan restaurants, despite Clarke’s diet consisting largely of rare steak and dairy. Every time they go out for dinner, Lexa suggests whatever vegan-friendly health shack her writer friends have told her about, and Clarke complains for all but three seconds before relenting, her insides melting at the sweet, pleading smile the green eyed woman gives her in order to get her way. So tonight is just like every other night, Clarke choking down a salad just to make her best friend happy, even though she knows she’s gonna make herself a plate of nachos in the microwave at home later.

“A little,” Clarke sighs. “I’m trying to keep a positive mindset, remind myself that it wasn’t my fault, y’know?”

“Yeah, I totally get that,” Lexa nods, relating Clarke’s feelings to her own. “I feel like we’ve both been going through really similar things. It’s nice to have someone you trust to talk through your feelings with, and I’m sorry I didn’t tell you right when I found Costia’s note.”

“I get why you didn’t,” the blonde runs a hand through her hair, signaling to Lexa that she’s just a little bit nervous. She’s always had a habit of playing with and tugging on her hair when something’s on her mind, almost as if she’s trying to coax the confession out of her skull. “You know, we both have such terrible taste in significant others. Makes you wonder if we should just date each other.” Clarke’s nonchalant comment causes the red wine to choke up in Lexa’s throat, sending her into a coughing fit as well as creating a knot in her stomach. What the hell does that mean? Clarke’s face flashes with fear before a look of concern settles on her features.

“Ahem, sorry about that,” Lexa clears her throat.

“Are you okay?” Clarke asks, more worried about her stupid comment than Lexa’s coughing, knowing that the former caused the latter.

“Yes, I’m fine,” Lexa shakes her head a little and takes another bite of her food, the pair slipping into a comfortable silence while they both mull over the implications of Clarke’s words. Lexa has absolutely no idea why Clarke suggested they date, but she expects to find the idea repulsive.

She doesn’t.

The thought of coming home to Clarke in sweatpants and a t-shirt, face covered in paint, makes the green eyed woman smile fondly, but her smile quickly drops off her face when she pictures leaning in and kissing the blonde, pulling away with paint dotting her nose. That’s definitely not supposed to happen. As hard as she tries to push the provocative images out of her head, Lexa’s mind runs rampant with thoughts of Clarke doing anything from cooking dinner to, well, doing her. Clarke can tell that Lexa is elsewhere throughout the rest of their evening, but she decides not to press the issue for fear that Lexa will have something to say about her senseless comment. The blue eyed woman has never been the best at sorting out her emotions, and tonight is no exception. Clarke decides soon after Lexa mentally excuses herself from dinner that she’s just projecting her lingering feelings for Finn onto the green eyed woman across from her, and that’s got to stop before she does anything stupid. 

Well, anything more stupid.

Once they finish mindlessly eating and wrestling over the check (a war that the green eyed woman won, as she always does), Clarke and Lexa hustle out of the restaurant and into the night. The streets of Los Angeles are bustling with life, all sorts of people drinking, smoking, and fondling each other against the modern brick walls of the high rise buildings. Lexa felt incredibly intimidated when the five of them moved down here from San Francisco, all of them pursuing different branches of the arts. The feeling of unbelonging was only accentuated when Raven started dating Octavia, who coins herself an ‘exotic dancer,’ and her other friends began to prosper in their respective fields. Clarke was always there to hold her down, and for that, Lexa will be eternally grateful.

“What are you thinking about?” Clarke interrupts Lexa’s long streak of silence. “You’ve been checked out for like, hours.”

“I’m sorry,” Lexa frowns as they begin the walk to their respective apartment buildings. “I just… I think I’ve been all over the place since Costia left,” she bites her lip, knowing that her excuse is only partially true. “I’ve been trying to mull it over so that I can get over it.”

“Makes sense,” Clarke nods but she knows it’s absolute bullshit. “Well, I had a good time tonight regardless.”

“You don’t have to lie,” Lexa stops in front of her building. “I know I was a drag.”

“Hey, you weren’t,” Clarke places a tentative hand on Lexa’s shoulder, who tries desperately to ignore the tingling feeling manifesting under the soft weight of Clarke’s palm. “I get what you’re going through, I do, and it’s okay to be in the clouds about it.” A beat of silence ensues before Clarke takes in a sharp breath. “Do you want to come over? We can have a glass of wine, talk a little more?”

“I’d love to.”

#

“And so I told her, ‘No, Raven, I will not wax your bikini line for you,” a voice says from outside Raven’s apartment door as she and Anya lay draped over the couch. The doorswings open to reveal Clarke and Lexa, clad in semi-formal wear, shoving carelessly through the living room.

“Oh  hey guys,” Lexa smiles dopily, the effects of the wine she had at dinner starting to hit. “Anya, I didn’t know you were here.”

“I just came over to hang with my girl,” Anya slings an arm over Raven’s shoulder.

“And you left your actual girl at home?” Lexa quirks an eyebrow, knowing that she never goes anywhere without her girlfriend.

“She’ll be fine,” Clarke nudges Lexa to the side before crashing down on top of her friends. “Let’s watch something.” Lexa sits meekly on the edge of the couch’s armrest before Clarke wraps her arms around the brunette’s waist and pulls her into her lap. Lexa’s heart hammers in her chest and she prays that Clarke can’t feel it, while Raven and Anya share a meaningful look, Raven’s face beaming uncontrollably. The women pick out a movie, and Lexa doesn’t notice that it’s started until five minutes of exposition have passed. The green eyed woman realizes that she’s already seen the film, her and Octavia having seen the space-drama in theatres a few months ago. She fades in and out of consciousness until she’s jolted into the full reality that Clarke’s hand has moved from the side of the couch to Lexa’s hip, drawing light circles that make her head spin. Every touch of Clarke’s finger’s sends jolts of electricity through Lexa’s body, every nerve in the area raw and synapses firing. The pads of the blonde’s fingers move around Lexa’s side and find the exposed skin of her lower back, making her jolt instinctively away from the ministrations.

“I’m gonna go get something to drink,” Lexa suddenly jumps up from Clarke’s lap and darts into the kitchen, ignoring Raven and Anya’s requests for a beer. Heat has gathered in her cheeks and in other places, making her head spin and her hands fly out to brace herself against the countertop. She grabs a bottle of water out of the fridge and places it on her neck, the condensation cooling her down slightly but nowhere near enough. Lexa is so lost in calming herself down that she doesn’t even notice the woman causing her distress standing idly in the doorway.

“Lexa, are you okay?” Clarke asks and Lexa jumps at the sound of her voice, the bottle clattering to the floor. “I never knew you to be the one to cringe at physical contact.” Clarke means it as a joke, but she notices that it comes out more mocking than she’d hoped, so she takes a few steps towards her friend in an attempt to placate whatever it is that’s bothering her.

“I’m fine,” Lexa shakes her head, her eyes downcast even after she’s picked up the water bottle she dropped. Clarke’s hands come to rest on Lexa’s shoulders, and the green eyed woman can’t help but shrug out of the touch.

“Okay, clearly something’s wrong,” Clarke throws her arms down in frustration. “Is this about what I said at the restaurant? ‘Cause that was a joke, I thought it was all in good fun and it was just something that occured to me-”

“It’s not that,” Lexa sighs. It’s that you acting like that and saying that is making me feel things I don’t understand.

“Then what is it?” Lexa winces at the frustration and confusion that drips off of Clarke’s words, causing fissures and cracks in her calm facade. “I’m just tired,” she lies, her eyes darting anywhere but Clarke’s face for fear that they will settle on her red lips, or the line of her jaw, or her sparkling blue eyes, or-

“Whatever,” Clarke shrugs, despite her feelings being categorized as anything but “whatever.” Lexa takes it as her cue to see herself out, mumbling an “I’ll see you later” to Anya and giving Octavia a curt nod as she bumps into her outside the apartment door. She waits until she’s greeted with the cool outside air to let her tears fall, the wind drying them as quick as they came, allowing the brunette to pretend they never appeared in the first place.

#

“Clarke?” Raven calls out raspily, taking tentative steps towards the dark living room, where she can make out the faint silhouette of her best friend leaning into a canvas, brush in hand. “It’s three AM, what are you doing up?”

“Couldn’t sleep,” Clarke calls back, her eyes never leaving the painting in front of her.

“What are you working on?” Raven steps forward to look but Clarke practically body-checks her before she can get any closer.

“You can’t look,” Clarke says, as if it’s the perfect explanation for her violent shove. Raven gawks at her nerve and pivots on her heel, heading back upstairs and crashing into bed, sending Octavia flying off the bed and landing with a comical thud.

“Ow, what the fuck Reyes?” she grunts, her voice thick with sleep.

“Something’s going on with Clarke,” she ignores her girlfriend’s attitude and the slap that lands briskly on her arm, “and I don’t like it.” Raven has her suspicions what’s causing her strange behavior, or rather who, but that doesn’t mean she has to put up with it.

Because she doesn’t like this Clarke.

She doesn’t like her at all.