#although. a lot of that wasn't actually aimed at kids. so maybe that's where the discrepancy is coming from. ppl are viewing-

[mosspapi]

I've been seeing some ppl talk abt this and now I'm curious. Do you think children's content has gotten more "mindless" or detrimental since you were a kid?

In the options, "have experience with children" means things such as having younger siblings or children of your own, being a teacher, etc., and for this poll I'm defining "children's content" as content made for or targeted towards preteens and younger. Although I'm specifically thinking about TV and YouTube, all children's content is applicable (IE books, movies, games, etc).

(To be clear this is mostly just for my curiosity, not out of a "argh kids these days/back in my day/modern content is shit" type of thing /gen). As always, feel free to add infinite nuance and personal experience in the notes, and reblog for a bigger sample size if you feel so inclined :D

[acidbathpuppy]

love that ur talking about this because i’ve followed u forever but i have never really understood what puppy play is. i know there are masks and stuff but is it cool to ask u what it means to u? i’ve just assumed it’s a role in play and occasionally it’s a full-time thing for some.

Hello I'm so happy you asked cus I'm really passionate about these sorts of things, hence why I took a while to respond (that and I've been at work). Obviously everything I talk about is from my own personal experience of what I've read, written, and also what I've done in practice at fetish clubs. I've actually published an article about puppy play for my work magazine as well! Although I've got strong opinions no one has to agree with me cus of course we all play differently! Despite my attitude, I actually don't care what anyone does to be happy, you do you!

Another thing is my perspective is mostly as a gay man. Pup play is for everyone of any sexuality and gender, but it has strong roots in the gay community, and so I'll be talking about that.

This is gonna be an extensive post with mature themes, and I also don't mince my words about my opinions on the whole dogboy thing I see on tumblr so if that's your thing and you're sensitive to rejection maybe don't read this.

Firstly, I'm not saying that one way of practicing pup play is more superior or 'correct' than another. My frustration in my vent posts were aimed towards the more roleplay side of the kink being way over represented which has seemed to cause a misunderstanding to people on the outside of what the community and kink is about. It's sort of been woobified and watered down and cutesified to the point where it's become just as cringe as the daddy dom/princess shit we used to see back in the tumblr haydays. Maybe that's just the tumblr curse, but I feel cus of that people are missing out on understanding all the things about pup play that really makes it appealing to myself and others.

Pup play to me is more than just roleplaying as a dog and being called a good boy. To me it's a pillar head of queer identity through sex and involves a combination of BDSM practice, fetishised materials and gear (such as leather, rubber, neoprene), queer sex culture such as leather daddies/dykes and boy/girl dynamics (not the same as age regression or age play), alongside other important queer cultures like fisting clubs, leather bars, and BDSM bars in general. I'll link a book at the end of this post that talks a lot on the significance of gay sex clubs and really lays out how queerness and fetish have been linked historically, but basically the scene would be nowhere today if it wasn't for fisting clubs and gay sex bars.

Pup play allows me as a gay man to hand create an identity to explore BDSM through. I get to affirm my masculinity by belonging to a community that has existed since the early days of queer sex publicity, and was largely represented by other gay men. It feels euphoric to belong to a culture such as this. That is the very base level of appeal even without considering anything erotic. It's the same appeal that causes me to flag as a pup in public via dog tags or paw print patches as I really enjoy that sense of belonging. (I don't consider this to be the same as when dogboy tumblr kids wear dog ears or collars in public as that's not flagging that's just more of a costume or expression of style. More on that later.)

My own experience has been with leather in particular, the erotic appeal of leather is not something that has to go into pup play necessarily but there's plenty of pup gear that caters to leather lovers like me. Pups can wear leather hoods or masks, as well as leather harnesses, collars, boots and leashes. Pups will also often wear silicone tail plugs and sometimes chastity cages. Basically, the gear is a big part of the culture, which is both a good thing due to a sense of uniform and also a bad thing due to some people thinking you're not a ‘real’ pup unless you have all the expensive shit, but fuck them.

The pup is quite literally dehumanised to an animal state to either provide a service to their dom or to interact with other pups (or both). Lots of people enjoy being in touch with their more primal side especially in an erotic sense. If you're unaware of the practice of headspace in BDSM then I recommend looking into it as that is often a large appeal of the kink and can explain how people are able to comfortably reduce themselves to an inhuman state without lasting effects.

Anyway, pup play for me becomes an extension of the leather scene and daddy/boy dynamics (again, not fauxcest, but simply the classic titles used in the leather community). A pup is a devoted sub (not the same as a bottom, service tops are very popular with pups) and is in a dynamic either solo (pups without masters are called strays, I am a stray because I am not owned by anyone and instead have casual scenes with many different people either handlers or other pups) or with a dominant. Dominants are often referred to as handlers and a big appeal of this dynamic for the pup is to be cared for and controlled/punished/rewarded in the same way that an owner might behave with a beloved pet. Although many people might disagree with the exact wording, being a pup is the same as being someone's gimp or slave. It's practically the same roles and devotion, but with different attitudes and language used. And yes, you're right, some people do choose to live this lifestyle 24/7 (although realistically these cases are few and in-between and are often targeted and blown out of proportion by documentary teams and social media to make it seem a lot more 'weird' than the reality, which is just two consenting adults being dedicated to a dynamic). Like with most aspects of BDSM it's hard to pinpoint exactly what draws people towards this, being a submissive can be relaxing for some, it can be a chance to unwind, and being a pup can have the same effect. You get to forget about real people worries for a bit. I can only speak from my own experience.

Now, this is where my own attachment to puppy play might start to differ from other pups, but for me pup play is intrinsically linked with humiliation play and erotic mindfucking. Both of these BDSM practices are a form of edgeplay (practices that push the boundaries of ethics and safety) and although there are other pups that share my tastes, oftentimes pupping can be a reverse experience and instead can be a form of empowerment for some if not most.

Erotic mindfucking and humiliation are two very big topics and if I tried to go into all the nuances and appeals behind it then this would be a 20k word answer, so I've linked some key reading below if you're really interested in knowing more about it.

In the sense of pup play though, humiliation and mindfucking is a priority to me. I have a guilt complex when it comes to receiving pleasure or affection, and oftentimes this makes it very hard for me to actually enjoy being a bottom or a sub during sex. I'm constantly thinking that the giver is only doing this cus they want something in return and that it's a chore for them and that they will get bored but won't be able to say it and it will feel like I'm being selfish. A good way to short circuit those thoughts are to be put in a pup headspace. When in headspace, I no longer feel those concerns because I am aware that the dynamic forged here is one of care and that it is normal for a dog to be needy and to get attention, and I am providing a service for the dom in that sense. The humiliation plays into this in the sense of being ‘forced’ to behave as a dog, to dehumanize myself for my doms entertainment. It's very hot to me to have my masculinity affirmed by being treated like a powerful man who has to be ‘forced’ to be submissive, it helps eliminate any dysphoria I might feel about taking a submissive role in the bedroom. Also it's hotttt.

Like most subs, it's about having your control taken away from you. The puppy side of it only informs the way that you act and react and the way that you are spoken to and are treated. For example, obedience training with a clicker or being made to wear a bone gag, or being teased for the silicone tail butt plug that wags with any small movement. Being called a good boy or bad dog, being punished in specific ways like leashed up or muzzled. All of that is secondary to the initial importance of the base dynamic. You can't just leap into pet play without securing ethical boundaries and good BDSM communication first.

During scenes like this, wearing a mask is not something I would do. I like my doms to see the full range of my emotions not just for enjoyment but also for safety (monitoring my face for signs of discomfort or pain) and also the mask effects my range of vision due to me being half blind in my left eye. Wearing a mask is something that is mostly reserved for going to parties or taking photos, but that's very much just my preference.

Circling back to my original posts, I think the issue I have with a lot of the puppy rp textposts I see on here stems from the way that it leans heavily on a very phallocentric and penetration focused view on BDSM. A lot of hardcore (and by hardcore here I'm not referring to the play, moreso the involvement in fetish scene) players will tell you that as soon as a scene turns to penetrational or traditional sex acts of any kind then the scene is pretty much either coming to a close or fully over. Traditional sex acts do not go hand in hand with BDSM or kink practice. Not to say that they can't, but it's very uncommon to watch a scene in a fetish club that involves penis(or strap)-in-hole sex (depends heavily on the theme of the club tbh). And yet all the uwu puppyboy hashtag puppy nsft text posts on here take an almost ridiculous penetration focused attitude. At this point they're basically just reinventing vanilla sex but claiming that they're still a hashtag freak cus they call their sub a puppy and wear a cheap ass velcro collar. There's nothing wrong with vanilla sex!!! Just accept that already instead of calling it something it isn't. I work in a sex shop and the amount of vanilla cishet couples that come in and buy run of the mill pet roleplay stuff like buttplug tails and cat ears is very high. There's nothing wrong with being into tamer stuff, just don't claim that it's hardcore pet play cus it's giving other people a wrong impression of what that involves. Many times I've gone to pup events and seen tumblr queers petrified in a corner cus they were expecting t4t dog motif sexy roleplay and instead got a room full of cis gay men doing poppers and wearing neoprene hoods. Not to mention that it's become just yet another highly commercialised micro-trend-identity that completely diminishes the gravity behind the kink itself. The whole dogboy thing has become a costume, it's completely taken it away from the powerful queer sex movement that allowed (mostly) gay men to express their sexuality to a world that demonised them for being freaks and instead has become just a cutesy tiktok trend. Not to mention the same people who leave the house wearing fluffy ears and dog collars are the same people who would kick up a fuss if they saw pup hoods in public at pride events. By all means express yourself however you want, good for you! I too wear a bone tag on a chain, but once more it is not associated with pup play, and is instead simply just cosplay or roleplay. I consider my chain to be a post-punk accessory. Which is fine!!!! But again, it's giving people who think it's the same as pup play the wrong idea.

All in all the appeals for everyone are different. I love the dynamics puppy play opens up for me, I love feeling in service to someone and feeling that unconditional affection often shown to a pet. I like feeling humiliated and brought down to my knees and ‘forced’ to behave in a subservient and obedient manner. I love the gear, I love how it makes me look, how the leather feels and smells, it gives me an opportunity to become a more primal version of myself which eliminates a lot of self consciousness or guilt complex. But all in all I think what separates puppy play from just puppy roleplay is the historic sense of community that surrounds it, even if you don't go to pup or kink events, and it's interweaving with other BDSM practices and dynamics. It's something that really enriches my kink experience and I only hope that people who want to get into it aren't put off by the tumblification of it in recent years.

If you're an unsafe dom or an inconsiderate sub that's shown no attempt to change or research what it is you're doing then you don't deserve to be part of the BDSM community. I've played with partners before that have been overly dangerous, unethical, and have disrespected the boundaries surrounding my body, and by proxy these types of people aren't pup players, they're just uninformed roleplayers who get all their sex ideas from cringe tumblr textposts. If you wanted a clear example as to why the sext post porn on here is not just annoying but dangerous, there's your reason. It creates arrogant dominants out of inexperienced amateurs, and they will end up killing someone. That's not a hyperbole.

This post could have been 10k words to be honest cus I kept wanting to talk about different aspects, so if you've got any other questions or if you want to understand something I mentioned here a little better then please feel free to ask me!

If you wanna read more about the history of queer sex in general, such as the haydays of sex clubs and what they did for the queer community, then I can recommend:

LEATHER FOLK: https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/1295028.Leather_Folk

If you want to know more about the intricacies of erotic humiliation then there's a great book written into the ethics and appeals of that:

ENOUGH TO MAKE YOU BLUSH: https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/75278288-enough-to-make-you-blush?ref=nav_sb_ss_4_18

If you want to learn more about ethical mindfucking then this book was very enlightening to me and is written by a queer author (always nice):

MINDFUCKING MINDFULLY:

https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/58411742-mindfucking-mindfully?ref=nav_sb_ss_1_21

[itscinnafox]

STORY NOTES [akafuri] : By The Next Sunrise

Because I had sooooo much fun doing this with a friend (@miss-cactus) :] (also being the first collab' work that's posted) and had a lot of messy notes and drafts, it's just so precious to me not to ramble about it >w< also plenty of fun times in just 2 and half months despite life biting my ass at the same time, totally my stress relief lol. Also, this story really isn't just some cheesy stuff for the sake of romance. It's genuine love (੭ ˃̣̣̥ ω˂̣̣̥)੭ु⁾⁾

Read the story here in AO3 Summary: On the way to his brother’s house, the spring showers had begun again. With an open palm, he let it collect the cold showers and let it flow out from the cups of his palm. They were chilly despite the warming sun, he looked up at the sky, and wondered what the rain would be like in other parts of the world. Furihata smiled. He would find out. Perhaps by one of the next sunrises.

.☆ﾟ.☆ﾟ.☆ﾟ.☆ﾟ.☆ﾟ.☆ﾟ. Rambles undercut ଘ(੭ˊ꒳ˋ)੭✧ .☆ﾟ.☆ﾟ.☆ﾟ.☆ﾟ.☆ﾟ.☆ﾟ.

FIRSTLY, @miss-cactus has all my gratitude ♡(ŐωŐ人) without her; AkaFuri will be stranded in France LOL! Seriously, I'll just dump them in some random village in France and just maybe not even finish this story at all even. The time she took to find me a place, translate, edits and also judging me for my description of the place LOL yep... total life saver. With her help it really motivated and inspired me a lot! She's the oil to my car............. you get the idea :] .

BONUS, she's also a translator and translated many amazing works, basically a deity, breathing life back into them. Also, she has original works too :D check 'em out, it's cute! It's in French, but they're easily translated, she's that good! (๑>◡<๑) her AO3

WEIRD FACT, I also had a short break up with my boyfriend of 7 years while writing this. LOL. I was so upset but I got motivated by the similarities, that when he asked for us back I was like 'But-but the similarities though!' but I love him....bleeegh. So I said yes, and we're better than before. YAY!

๑ Story Base ๑ The idea popped when I was listening to 'The sun after washed by spring rain' by Wang Lee Hom on a rainy day on my day off, and florist Akashi just looks so beautiful lol and the rest just came up.... and I really wanted this vibe for AkaFuri something incredibly soft and warm~ just cozy >w< huehue~

This story sets in Spring, spring here, spring there~ Spring is the breath of new life, basically Furi's story lol.

I was also aiming for this story to be short and a bit poetic...... LOL then 11k words later I just gave up and was like: well, if AkaFuri wanna romance then who are we to say no? (Akashi will shave my hair in my sleep lol)

๑ Playlist ๑ Play on Youtube The playlist is by order according to each part within the story. I really love to ramble about this since music is my inspiration for a lot of things and the vibe of the whole premise, section of their development and perspectives.

☆ 11 : 11 by Taeyeon Introducing Furihata's little sob lol and Furi's perspective. After Furihata breaks up with his girlfriend (who again, have no significant in his life what so ever), he goes through the phase on moving forward. It really isn't him moving forward with his feelings for her though, it's just him moving forward from the familiarity of being with her in his life. With her gone, he finally reconnects with who he is, like in this passage : "However, somehow with just a fling of his bag onto the island top threw him years back. He has not always been this tidy and clean." Furihata had basically lived his life to accommodate to those around him. (I wanna stress that Furi wasn't forced into a relationship or was it abusive. It was just a relationship with someone whom Furi had no infatuation for. It just so happens she wanted to date him after the wintercup, and Furi is just like 'yea ok?' but really he didn't exactly thought it through.)

So this is where Furihata moves on from the familiarity. He cries because they dated lol, but really he's just confuse.

☆ The Sun After Washed By Spring Rain by Wang Lee Hom Exactly one year after Furi's break-up. The source of this story idea lol. Also, Furi's perspective. The title and the song is literally what it meant; the sun after the spring rain which brings in new beginnings. I present you, this passage of the story: "Instead, with an open palm, he let it collect the cold showers and let it flow out from the cups of his palm. They were chilly despite the warming sun, he looked up at the sky, and wondered what the rain would be like in other parts of the world."

☆ Reunite by Jordie Power I present you, when Akashi appeared and Furihata's crush on Akashi just awakened and go haywire LOL! In this AU, Furihata has genuine feelings for Akashi. They were long time friends, and there were even a few emphasis of their friendship through high school but because Furihata has a girlfriend and Akashi respected that (although most times, in my brain, is just Akashi crying to Kuroko LOL!)

☆ Passage by Miyano Mamoru Furihata and Akashi's similarities. The song is basically about finding yourself as you age, the experiences you go through as you age (i'm 27 and i'm still confuse lol) Even though this story focuses on Furihata a lot and little less on Akashi except for little hints here and there, Akashi was just as lost as Furihata.

Random thought (as I type this), my boyfriend had told me this before "Even though we don't need each other, and do well on our own. We have friends but it's so different. Is just something different to have someone you love around, so to an extend, I really do need you and to share everything with you, it really makes me happy." it really is something different to have someone by your side especially when you found someone. (p/s: you definitely don't need to be in a relationship to feel complete. you complete yourself okay? :3) Furi and Akashi have been in-love since high-school, they have accomplished a lot on their own but in a passage, they both felt lost and felt like something was 'empty' that was because they were still in-love, and they met each other and truly want to spend their life together and share everything.

☆ Moonlight by Miyano Mamoru Mmmmmm~ the juice. This is Akashi's perspective when he wants to romance Furihata (∗ᵕ̴᷄◡ᵕ̴᷅∗)՞ and of course, sneakily confesses to him. OH MY GOODNESS! THIS IS LITERALLY THE PART THAT I'VE BEEN DYING FOR! and wrote it sooooo many times. I wanted it steamy and a little desperate after their long pent-up-frustration unprofessed love, without making it 'explicit' kind of way. So I hope I captured it right lolol.

☆ Make Me Love You by Taeyeon Furihata's feelings towards Akashi. I was pondering on a song that would fit Furihata's pull towards Akashi and how Akashi makes him feel every time. No other songs seems to feel like then I was randomly humming to this song while I was working and this is perfect! Also, a wonderful vibe.

I think it has been emphasised a lot on how Furihata reacts to Akashi, how he blushes like crazy, how he also subconsciously wants Akashi to make him fall in love with him. Because deep down, as again, Furihata genuinely loves Akashi but he was never daring enough to do it and since Akashi had never showed any indication, so Akashi had to confess in order for Furihata to be brave enough to smack their lips together to confess too.

☆ Je Fais De Toi Mon Essentiel by Emmanuel Moire Infinitely bless @miss-cactus (and her naughty brother lol) for this! This is song is seriously sooooo beautiful ;w; I don't care if reader's don't listen to the playlist, but OH MY GOD! If nobody had listened to this, is seriously missing out. (just as a song in general is beautiful) and the lyrics are just akjsfhakjsfhaf AKASHI'S WORDS! In Akashi's perspective and the song that Akashi sang to when they were in the car, and Cactus chose the perfect line for it ;w;

This song basically concludes everything!!! From their feelings for each other since high-school and all the way until the day they die! It's basically everything I wanted this story to be about, just their pure love for one another and to share their happiness together ;w;

Also, I want to point out in regards of Furihata's decision on staying in France. It's really not just a spontaneous and reckless decision lol. As stated and shown in the story, Furihata is somewhat a successful person with a career, but Furihata has other passion and interest which he seemed to enjoy doing which is photography and Akashi notices this. Even though with a career, at a time some will have a change of heart. So if Furi wants to stay in France with Akashi, he has thought it through enough, and can afford to even live by even without Akashi's money lolol. ๑ Premises ๑ Cactus, without her, AkaFuri will be hobos. I . AM . NOT . KIDDING ! She just whip out the map of France and pin point me to everything! I didn't ask for that but her soul is made from angel clay and she showed me this beautiful town, and I am floored! I didn't feel that much motivation and inspiration before o(≧∇≦o)

So why not Paris? XD 1, I didn't want Paris, I wanted a natural, country/cottage vibe and not the city. 2, proven by Cactus, "actual paris : if you want a cup of coffee you have to give up your wife and your 2 children bc it's way too expensive" (XD actually there's more but those parts are only between us lol) 3, I want to pull Akashi from his usual portrayal of rich and luxurious life style. I mean.... he's still rich, just not lavish in that lifestyle. In here, Akashi's basically bare as a canvas, and painting it on his own. 4, I google mapped Paris.... and if anything, Akashi and Furihata will probably get run over by traffic LOLOL! 5, we hate the crowds lolol and we'd do anything to drown the citizens for AkaFuri to be alone. I'm not even gonna be discreet about this xD.

☆ Mornac-Sur-Seudre This main village, is the most beautiful town picked by Cactus. It's not so 'in the face' although not so splashed in a lot of colours (except for the oyster huts), it is a very vibrant village. We totally fell in love with it. It's quiet, and not a lot of villagers, so it's perfect for AkaFuri to have their stroll hand in hand (人 •͈ᴗ•͈) They're also very famous for their oysters LOL! So yeah..... Akashi fed Furi oysters.... because....it's yummy.... LOL! Video reference here. There's another beautiful video but I can't find it no more. ;; Other references; here, here and here.

☆ Seagull Train Furihata loves train (and so do I) and since the train exists here! WHY THE HELL NOT?! I really love writing this part! I fell in love with the department Cactus picked and everything was so perfect and beautiful. Pictures and videos of it was just so breath taking ;w; and it's a steam train! I've never ride one before, but I have been into exhibits in the train museum. The smell is amazing lol. It's like sniffing my humidifier......but bigger.

This is the train I had saw mostly from it. the 030 T 3 from 1891. It's still operational so choo-choo!!! they go!

Video reference ; here Train reference; here, here Other references; here, here, here and here.

☆ Saintes & Royan These two towns are what's closest to Mornac. I didn't have much on Royan because Saintes had a beautiful charm, so this is where they would have their wonderful date <3 and talk a little bit about their feelings.

Cactus correcting me on the description on the city as I just woke up from my sleep, is seriously a way to wake up in the morning at 5am XD LOLOL!!

There's a few churches too, and has an interesting history from the Roman empire :D really intriguing.

The bridge where they have their little confession in high-school (◡‿◡✿)

This video here, absolutely pretty!

☆ Akashi's Floristry; Fleurs d’acacia Cactus picked out the most beautiful name! "So either L’acacia (just the tree) or Fleurs d’acacia (acacia flowers)" The Acacia because it rhymes with Akashi's name : Aca - as in 'Aka' in Akashi. Ci - as in sea...because they're near the ocean. A - as in....... h(a)m because Cactus said so... and I can't even disagree because it's where Furi getting some of those..... meat....because Akashi's ham.....like his meat.......y'know..... We're very dignified ( ᵘ ᵕ ᵘ ⁎)

The design of Akashi's 3 story shop/studio/apartment..... I really don't have any reference, it's all in the head LOLOL! Akashi basically lives in simplicity, his shop all on the ground floor, and the second floor is his art studio where paints and do whatever he wants. Finally the third floor is where he stays, it was wasn't very detailed but it's very spacious and cozy >w<!

☆ The Drive-in theatre Bruuuuuh......the confession is the thing! Akashi sneaking in his opportunity to confess. What more is there need to be said? AkaFuri : mlemlemlemlemlemlemlemlem~

Ohh~ Akashi's pretty Bentley of course.

☆ The Landes The finale of their romance ❀.(*´◡`*)❀. I think we all know what a Volkswagen van looks like LOL! And they had the funky in the van and Akashi took Jean's advice with the bamboo charcoal.

Cactus showed this pretty place and I'm just ヽ(；▽；)ノ

Of course I'd really like to say it again. Furihata's decision to stay with Akashi was really not for the sake of a 'happy ending' or so. They've had deep feelings for each other since high-school and bonded closely, but Akashi didn't show any indication of romantic interest out of respect for Furihata's relationship, and Furihata knowing nothing about Akashi's mutual feelings just kept his feelings to himself. As told by the story, Furihata has a career and stable income. But even though his life is dandy in Tokyo with his job, that doesn't mean it's something he wants to keep pursuing or maintain, as we age, we search for something else to add into our experience. Not to say that we're forever unsatisfied, it's just how life is. We accomplish something, and we move on to another thing, and then another and another. It's really something beautiful about it, and life's just us exploring :] In Akashi and Furihata's case, is that they've already have what they wanted, a life of their own, choosing their own path and what they don't have was each other and now that they've bonded and opened up themselves, they can finally pursue another beautiful life together (>*^▽^*<)

๑ Book, Night on the Galactic Railway by Kenji Miyaza ๑ This is a real book. Also, my favourite! There is an anime as well, but if anyone wants the PDF feel free to drop me a DM and I'll give it to ya'.

In here, the story of the galactic railway impacted their lives a little bit differently. With Akashi the loss of his mother and Furihata to live the last adventure before death.

It is shown they have extreme love for this book, and it really is a beautiful book and there's just endless things to talk about, as it is place in an infinite travel of the train through the galaxy, meeting new people, seeing new things, the mysteries of stories and making meaningful relationship despite never being able to see them again.

The sentiment of Giovanni and Campanella is also similar to Akashi and Furihata. Before anything else, they want to have their adventure together before eventually parting their ways (and i really mean, until death do them apart.)

๑ Other Juices ๑ There some nitty stuff that aren't just there for show xD Well, kind of but there's some sentiments and stuff so...

☆ The Sunflower Maybe because I'm bias to sunflowers LOL! But Furihata is pretty with yellow! Sunflowers with darker brown florets are absolutely beautiful. The pendent I had in mind was literally the one I had when I was a kid (but I donno it's gone now lol). I googled other sunflower pendent but it's ugleh...

It associates with the theme of this story which is 'Sunrise' as in new beginnings, Furihata's fresh start to pursuing the person he actually loves.

Sunflowers also grow towards the sun. They radiate pure joy and positivity. They also symbolise unwavering faith and unconditional love; which is AkaFuri's undying love here despite the years.

Sunflowers are also given to show their deepest to the person, so Akashi gift him a sunflower :3 also because Furi looks pretty in yellow, fight me.

In chinese myth, sunflower are best for business... So with Furi around, Akashi's business will bloom LOLOL!

Funfact: In greek myth, a nymph named Clytie fell deeply in love Apollo, god of the sun. Although Clytie was beautiful by nymph standards, Apollo did not reciprocate her feelings, or acknowledge it. (except Akashi appreciates Furi's love okay?) After days of hopeless devotion, the nymph then transformed herself into a sunflower and constantly turned towards the sun so she could always be with the one she loved (Furihata's chasing sunrises because Akashi is there ok?).

☆ The Happy Street Cats :D This is actually a real book I have, a gift by my teacher before I leave S.Korea. The passage idiom is extracted by this page as well.

The front cover of the book is also yellow.

Yellow : Sunrise + Sunflower.

There's so much yellow in this story LOL!

☆ The Movie Cactus : Idol movie Me : *internal screaming* I swear we are always soooooooo close to making this whole thing crack XD

This scene is a real brain wreck lololol. (Still contemplating if it was romantic enough)

☆ Akashi's Florist number I extracted that number from an oyster restaurant LOLOL! Thankfully Cactus changed it.... we were planning on a crack bonus in which, Furihata orders oysters before calling Akashi.

It didn't happen. But if it did.

Furihata will order some oysters. And not regret it.

*Akashi judging*

☆ French Dialogues + Akashi teaching Furihata French Bless Cactus, she's my happiness now. I have no idea how many weird noises were coming out from our mouths just to understand how the French consonant 'R' sounds like to put it into words LOL! XD Without her, it'd be a disaster.

We were looking at other romantic phrases and found the perfect one ;w;

“Je suis ton bonheur.” means "I am your happiness" (oh god, google translate voice just keeps playing in my head LOLOL! help) Which, what else can be said? LOL Akashi's happy ok? Since this story is from Furihata's perspective, I really wanted to put him into the spot of being a foreigner (he speaks english and mandarin lolol just clueless in French, because Akashi is supposed to guide him). So while Cactus work her magic, being the Akashi to my Furihata. I tried to emphasis a lot on the characters expression etc, at least to indicate of what was going on....tbh even I forgot what they were saying. *just as clueless as Furi and Cactus cackling somewhere.

Everything in here is just Cactus being amazing ;w; and pure patience LOLOL!

๑ Side Characters ๑

☆Shérine ............ We butchered the original female side. Her name was Camille.... but I was sooo tempted to name it after *coouugh* :] because it's pretty. Also her hair was blond with hazel-green eyes.... yea we buried her.

Shérine wins now... Shérine is life.

Shérine will be in their wedding.

☆Jean Kirstein (of AOT) It's JEAN! ...........someone gotta tease Akashi with no filter.

(ﾉ^ヮ^)ﾉ*:・ﾟ✧ FINAL NOTES

The last section when Furihata wakes up and makes his decision, believe it or not, I was in the bus. While typing to Cactus, I was literally shaking in the bus and my eyes stung because of dust and I was in tears. I was between crying and laughing. Finished it at home ;w; Cactus was such a darling through it all.

I really had fun writing this with Cactus ;w; she's the best!!!!!!! And hopefully we'll make some crack stuff because we're hooligans like that XD.

:D BYE!

[hybrid-lion]

*lights cigarette and sips tea like Kermit the frog while wearing green*

File under: wyldling stuff

OR

 "You do not want to sell me death sticks… You want to text me and have me do your dishes and sleep on the floor and make art with you.*

 ~Obi Wan

  So let's see…

 I'm about 2 months in now to this foray, it's actually genuinely nice out today despite the cloud cover (I grew up in NE so I enjoy grayish days all the same); I live for both sunny days and can be happy in the rain, but prefer not sleeping in the elements considering what I'm working with (as romantic of an idea it seems).

  This is very much well known of me—

 Oof that hibiscus tea hits just right though..

 That hibiscus tea though..

 Let's see, was able to consolidate the backpack we're still rocking with the 60 ltr. bag and thanks to the organization and efforts of giving people that showed up for us at St. Paul's here  in the community I was able to get a couple things (A ground pad that I might not actually need ((  I might be able to give that to somebody and pay that forward, got a sleeping bag, etc), some utilities. You know how that goes.

 The past two months have been working with the land, cleaning up around town, reaffirming my lessons and send eof value of my self, holding people accountable and choosing where I place my time and energy.

 The folks who organize the cold weather shelter on South Main deserve all the praise, as well as the folx down at the Friendly Kitchen for coming in clutch with regular warm meals. I've dropped some weight out here that I was hoping to keep on walking around but am strong like a taxidermied pachyderm again.

 I've mostly been aiming to get out of the state shortly in the coming days and hit the road again which is my goal. I'm excited to extend myself to apply to different environmental jobs as well as bring my best to the table and good opportunities as they present themselves to me.

I genuinely believe people can choose to stop and take the time to start good processes. I'm aware of what I know and my journey and if you would, some of the ideations of that destiny and would believe others will seize their own alongside me, and choose to avoid standing in my way but with me as well in love and defiance of apathy or inaction, which is why I'm such a vocal proponent of my beliefs. 

 I'm practicing not having to be so vocal so that there is a more contingent balance right now and my energy and efforts are understandably valued as they are similar in weight and goals as other like minded folks.

I've been working out, practicing meditations and forms, and just getting back into the swing of things. My aims and aspirations are clear and I know that my intentions are good as ever.

 

 Where am I is I am currently posted over on one of my favorite benches; don't really know exactly what the day has but I'm looking forward to it—

  I have a heart song that I want to sing when I can sing it for folks without being pressured to do so.

  In my heart the possibilities I have in mind are made reality, and Im quite resolved in handling things as I am capable best and positively fof what the day could bring us jn our best interests and designs.

 

   I've reached out to a couple folks from my past life if you would.

   I am hoping and anticipating that somebody decides to hit me back, as that would be super helpful in not being out. I would ideally find a dry floor to crash on and pull my weight in turn like that Orphans song would echo the sentiment of.

  I'm going to be in the area for a little while and it'd be really reaffirming to catch up on some folks if they chose to and if they decided— 

I forgot I have Honey and Oat granola bars too.. I have snacks. 

This is great.

— as I was  if they decided to do so and it was in their best interest as well—  Genuinely just my best for mine and me these days and forward.

With my comprehension of oneness and many forms of practicality in reality I'll probably check in to different circles and with others when it's appropriate for me without inviting in tons of unneeded chaos in a negative fashion and moreso in Lightness.

Idk if anyone ever thinks of the lightness of chaos, or as I prefer to put it, 

  "I loathe constructive dis-order as I choose to see it…"

 Planned for a lot of adventures in the immediate future that I want to pan out mostly specifically pertaining to artwork as well as hopefully I have my eyes on the horizon, working with the land as well as maybe doing some tending and traveling.

 I would be way better off having somebody with me rather than just solo dolo, physically present.

 I got to feed the birds this morning which was super jovial and fun and I've been doing that frequently with meditations on giving and receiving and just for the sake of it.

I just I picture myself atm unwilling to play the proverbial hermit/ 

I actually still love people and socializing on my best days.

 

Going to be heading up either Northern New England or maybe down to the coastline.

 I would like to see the ocean again.

 I was thinking about that the other day which it occurs to me. 

Honestly even though I've spent time by the water  a lot it occurs to me that I never really like had like an avid passion for hanging out or like experiencing the ocean that much as a young adult or as a kid growing up it wasn't out of like fear it wasn't out of animosity…

(although sharks and things in the depths are very scary you know like stare into as the saying goes into the void the void stares)

 Back like there's probably things down there you wouldn't want to be poking.

 Same could be said for a lot of things but you know also you know when you go into something with the right mentality you have to bear in mind you know your mentality— like usually attracts like if you can bear that in mind. So again absolutely l o a t h e me some constructive dis order 🖤💜❤️💜

   Some of my life teachers or guides or a few out me into these and I in turn should fly over there when able and give them a big ol cup of hibiscus tea and mindful of how greatly I value their and my lessons and blessings in turn.

   So yeah we're excited to see what the Day brings might be breaking for camp I do have to like my cigarette again apparently even though I'm trying to quit and will be putting it shortly

 

You only know what you know and where the day is going to take you as you can plan to have and you always hit some small bumps on the road.

 I'm only expecting the best from myself and others these days which is really good applying my lessons as I see fit and not getting caught up on other people's interests from me and spending my time wisely.

 

Speaking of I do need to go to my old house over alcohol and procure some things I have that planned out with a peace officer and I'm just not going to be letting that situation weigh me down. 

 I'm not going to be associating with my prior abusers from my birth family that can't show up for love.

  I'm literally going for some tools and CM and perhaps my yoga mat, which would be more it'd be easier to carry them to the sleeping mat and it'll be able to use it for yoga.

Stretching in the morning, which has again become very very important to me being out and about all the time and just thinking about it now it's like I want to work on my hamstrings but I'm not going to do that atm.

 I'm still going to be procuring microphone when I have the resources available, more mobile gear than anything but still quality gear so I can get the podcast going in the meantime we're just doing logs and poetry and writing and patching and selling and things that make me happy little enjoy enjoyable pastimes like journaling.

 I've been trying to get back to people as well have met some real ones out here that I would take with me if I was precisely able to, specifically some of the older guys from the shelter and kitchen, a couple of the sisters around my age, a few of my bunkmates and some other seasoned folks who seem like good souls, again focusing on tending to reality of my situation and minding my own.

 Very much back to myself as capable as I've grown,  when I'm able to despite the obstacles that have been conquered as well as the obstacles that have been accomplished and already overcome. 

One door closes, another door opens and there's a time and place to address these kinds of things. Sargeant comes to my house like don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things like— luckily I'm wearing antiperspirant.

  Clean as a whistle over here surprisingly enough even though I can't remember the last time I showered.

 Which is hilarious even though yesterday was Saturday and I should have.

  I should have showered then,

  but I've just been  mobile and like give myself punk baths here and there like the sink bath. Anybody who's ever been at like at like a camp or a conference knows very much about the same bath or a punk bath if you would whatever you want to call it without being too to non PC. 

 Going now I'm going to hit back a couple folks see if anybody will let me stash my pack with them for a little bit while I go over to my prior abusers house just so I don't have like a 60 l plus bag on my back all the way over there and yeah just expecting the best for myself in the immediate future and hopefully people will come along for the ride it'll be super fun lots of good s*** be wild wild times.

    If y'all like my prior content or want to see more of my future content you can just get at me digitally most accessible for me right now when I have my phone charged until I can procure some more gear.

  You  can always contact me if you have to light if you want to like WebEx or zoom/ video chat as well as long as it's appropriate timing and I'd let you know but yeah you know if anybody wants to reach out to me feel free you know you again it would be nice to re–meet some folks. 

you can look at supporting me or helping me get through this tumultuous time and then I turn I can always of course give back to the community to pull my own weight if you would both literally and proverbial as well as see fit you know what would work best for those involved in the meantime I'm probably just going to eat some granola bars and figure out where to put this backpack because it is lofty the luggage is lofty but manageable and I'm keeping it I also really want to go pick up my echeveria from the house I don't know if I can but something's telling me just carry the echeveria around with me even though it's like not exactly it's not exactly portable right now but how like how perfect would it be if I just have my echeveria like on my head or like on the in the back of my pack like like I don't know like I remember I remember being out in SF and seeing folks with like their cats or like their dogs and their rats just hanging out with them on their shoulder and I'm like I'll just take my complex houseplants with me.

   I can effectively do for myself today looks like the sun's coming out peeking out from behind the clouds a little bit and even if it doesn't it's still out there somewhere which is super lovely and yeah other than that many blessings and you know make your day serve you to your utmost potential as only you yourself would know.

You want to get at me or if you want to support my at the time even like the smallest bean of grain–

 You can hit the cow like button

 you can toss a coin to your shifty cat friend 

or you can hit me up on ko-fi so I can then turn by you a coffee however they pronounce that.

 I know the value of my content and I'm going to be putting that on lock or at least some of the more special personal things for folks who want to subscribe to that kind of stuff that'll be done.

 

  IG is still going to be getting regular updates along with my personal snap when I'm able to and in the position too and other than that yeah all y'all have a beautiful beautiful week ahead of you.

~D

@hybrid_lion on IG

 campsite.bio/hybrid_lion

http://liondaydreams.com/

Also if I was meandering through and stopped to say hai and catch up I might be kind of ragged but clean up nice

Working on this one as well...