#although in saying that isn't that also just what a gramophone is

[steakout-05]

something i really like about the teddy bear jetpack is that he's sitting on a little heart shaped chair before you steal him,,, dude that's so cute he's jus a little guy .....

[culttvblog]

The Avengers: The Joker

A favourite of the fans, this one, so I won't have anything new to add to the discussion, I'm sure. It is of course a remake of the series 3 episode, Don't Look Behind You, and this fact is largely the criticism you wil read on the internet. It has also been linked to The House That Jack Built, with its theme of being lured to a sinister house and subjected to strange things.

I only discovered while reading up for this post that the German record which features in this episode, Mein Leibling Mein Rose, is nothing of the sort, and in fact was written in English for this episode before being turned into German and recorded for the show. They were a bit surprised at the demand for a release, and so a record was hastily pressed and you can hear it on the internet in full if you want. I don't speak German, and apparently the German isn't very grammatical, but it has taken me in completely and I imagined it was some actual song from the thirties. The record label is even completely fictional, although obviously based on Deutsche Gramophon.

It will sound like I'm doing a hatchet job on this, because I'm rather going to focus on some problems with the episode or with its reception.

To get it out of the way, in my opinion the main problem with this episode is that it has a plot hole that you could drive a tank through. I'm afraid I'm going to run with the hare and hunt with the hounds because later I'm going to say that there is a lot of unrealism in this episode but my main criticism is that it is somewhat unrealistic, or perhaps I should say not credible.

The problem for me is that if you discover there is a chess grandmaster called Sir Cavalier Rusicana, you laugh and give him no credence, assuming it to be a humorous pen name. If he writes to you and invites you to his place for the weekend, you look him up in Debrett's to double check and treat the invitation with caution. If you have to drive half way across the country to get to his house and discover that everything is blanketed in fog, you ring him with your apologies and stay in London. If you are unwise enough to get there, one glance at someone with such an obvious sociopathic personality as Ola Monsey-Chamberlain should really send you scurrying off back down the drive even if you have to spend the night in the car, if you have any sense at all. The further discovery that your host isn't there should certainly remove any reason for you being there and you should make your excuses. The bizarre decor of the dining room should certainly be a warning that things aren't right in this household, and if you haven't paid attention to all these warnings, the discovery that your room contains a whole trunk of records all the same, should certainly make you think that there is at least some sort of obsession going on here and you'd really better not be there.

Yet strangely Mrs Peel, who you'd expect to be more than a little canny, isn't discouraged by any of these warnings and while she is obviously aware it is strange, she just stays there and appears to go along with what Ola says. It's absolutely bizarre, and positively uncharacteristic.

The episode successfully completely knocks us off our feet with the introduction of the 'strange young man'.

Which brings me nicely to the first of the problems of reception with this episode. You will read in the commentary online that there is a continuity error in that we get a glimpse in the opening scene of the man cutting up Mrs Peel's picture, who is of course supposed to be Prendergast, and he doesn't look like Peter Jeffrey who plays Prendergast. I think this is to miss the point, since he does actually look like Ronald Lacey who plays the Strange Young Man. I think this is a deliberate blind, setting us up to think that a blond man is the one with the violent obsession with Mrs Peel, ie the Strange Young Man. Of course you could say it is unsuccessful if apparent misdirection has gone wrong enough for people to assume that it is a continuity error.

This misunderstanding is confused by two other things about this episode. The first being that it is actually chock full of continuity errors, sightings of the boom and shadows of stage hands (you can see a full like on the Dissolute site), so it is natural to expect to see bloomers.

The other is that this episode is very heavily reliant on the magical realism so characteristic of the later series of The Avengers, and unfortunately I think some of the examples of this have tended to be seen as plot faults. One example is that in the scene where Steed rescues Mrs Peel, when the record starts playing again, the only person who could have started the record is Steed, but there is much criticsm online that he couldn't possibly have done so! Another example is that a man who was supposed to be too unwell to go anywhere can suddenly also drive across the country to rescue Emma (are we supposed to believe there was nobody else in the Ministry he could have involved?). I'm also rather unhappy about the poison-infused razor blade left with a card under Steed's hat by the front door. I'm finding it difficult to visualise how Prendergast could have placed the card when he set up the trip wire, without Steed noticing something so obvious, in which case this is distinctly magical as well.

I suppose what I'm saying is that the real problem with this episode is that its dependence on magic and lack of reality, combined with a number of actual continuity errors, has left everyone not being sure what situationally wrong thing is intended to be magic and which is just a mistake. However I think the major problem with this episode is that I really don't think anyone who was even remotely cautious would have spent any longer in that house than enough to find out her host was absent before bolting.

Now I don't want you to run away with the idea that I think this episode is rubbish: it's a very slightly flawed very characteristic later Avengers episode which is still great viewing, it's just confused the fandom no end.

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[fitz-higgins]

The Sophisticated Tabby

An excerpt from Monty's diary, dated June 15th, 1913

It will be one year since we've got 'Enery, so I think it is time to talk about him more.

'Enery is, undoubtedly, an exceptional cat – but then, what cat isn't? He appeared by our house on the same day we moved in, last June, and settled with us immediately. Being born on the streets, he isn't afraid of going outside, and we just cannot go without him, so we take him out for walks on a leash or carry him in a basket when we ride bicycles. And whenever we are out in public, 'Enery always captures a few hearts, the charmer that he is. Maybe it's not very wise for us, two lovers who try to hide their love, to draw attention, but people usually pay no mind to us, enamoured of our handsome cat.

'Enery got his name after a character from A Room with a View (I was reading it at that time) who was mentioned just once, but of course I remembered it and used to tease Henry with it. There are many names to tease Henry with. I offered this name as a joke, but we both got to love it quickly.

From his first day in our household, 'Enery showed fondness of music, especially Strauss, and likes to spend his time around the gramophone or Henry's phonograph. He is also fond of sausages, but his favourite is, no doubt, seafood which he grew to love in Maine in '12. Henry is an exceptional fisherman, so that helps, too.

Thing is, we sometimes need to appease him, because he is a bit prudish and doesn't like it when Henry and I get, well, shall we say, too close. So we always keep a treat or two at hand, although it doesn't always help for 'Enery is prone to knocking down things in the library while we are busy. But other than that, he is the best companion that we could ever have, and we can't imagine going anywhere without him.

Equally enjoying our readings or piano playing, 'Enery is truly a sophisticated cat. And this is why I titled my columns for the New York Herald – published under an alias Monteen Fitzgerald – The Tales of the Sophisticated Tabby. Anyone who has read them and was lucky to meet 'Enery will know immediately that he is the cat behind that Tabby. And vise versa: our dear friend Lucy loves 'Enery very much and she is perhaps my most loyal reader. I incorporated many incidents that happened with him into those stories for he often does something surprising, funny or even frightening – for instance, brings his prey to our picnic blanket. But that is one weakness we are ready to forgive him.

We call him our guardian, a guardian to the fairy king and his prince, but 'Enery certainly considers himself a king, too, especially when he lies on the cushion we bought him for his first Christmas and observes the room. He is an important member of our household, the Fitz-Higgins household as we call it, so I believe he has a right to think he is a king of this cosy kingdom in the middle of New York.

[Art by New House]

[raviliuz]

"Here comes the sun" Blaise Zabini x Theodore Nott

Muggle, retro au

@lifesucksandiwanttobeamarauder I finally translate that fanfiction, I hope you like it 🥺

The dark-skinned boy has tried to sit still from three hours already. It is incredibly hard for him, because of his amazing hyperactivity. In all honesty, sitting here as a model doesn't count to his dreams or favourites activities but he couldn't deny to Theodore's asks.

Just because of that — his bloody weakness for the older boy — he must stick up there and pose to Theodore's new painting. Blaise perfectly knows that person on that work of art won't be even similar to him. But it will be beautiful, perfect as everything that has been made by gifted hands of Theodore Nott.

There's music, playing quietly at the background, played on a gramophone, restored by Blaise himself. He gifted it to his friend as a birthday present two years ago on an incredibly warm and short night, 22th of June.

He has so many memories with that slight, passionate boy.

"Theo," he says suddenly, breaking the silence. He sounds like a dissatisfied kitten and when he doesn't notice any reaction, he repeats meowing "Theo, I'm bored."

The other boy finally pays his attention to Blaise, not his reflection on painting, which is created on a canvas (too small in Theo's opinion).

"Blaise, you really can't stand it for a while more?" Theodore asks and there is a nuance of desperation and melancholy in his voice, "I want to end it."

And Blaise has already known, he loses again. He won't be able to deny his friend the pleasure that results from looking at the painting — finished, after hours of working.

"I'll stand it, Theo" he sighs and in his mind adds 'always for you'. At this moment all he can do is begging and praying that Theodore is not able to read minds, just like some characters in their favourites comics.

"Nah, Blaise" slight boy says suddenly and leaves his paint palette and set of brushes on the cupboard, promising himself that he will wash it carefully within a few minutes when paints won't be already dry "I know you don't want to."

"It's not like that" Zabini starts to explaining himself chaotically because he doesn't want hurt Theodore's feelings, "I love watching your painting and you while you're painting. And I love that you have a passion and you're so talented. I just... It's May Day and we are sitting in your room..."

"It's alright, Blaise" Theodore interrupts his with the most beautiful, in Zabini's opinion, smile — that carefree, happy and only a little faraway one.

"We should do something and bring Hope with us to take many photos and place them in our albums with dumb yet cute captions" Theo proposes with a light laugh.

The younger, but taller, better built and more mature, of boys, stands up and brushes off invisible pollen from clothes. He reaches his hand to Theodore to help him stand up.

"Wanna go?" he proposes and even if Theo doesn't know where he agrees without a single question.

It doesn't matter where they go, it will be awesome as always if Blaise is with him.

He catches Hope and puts it on his neck. Theo loves his polaroid camera with whole his heart, even if it isn't the newest and all the better photos were made by Blaise.

Blaise is still holding Theodore's hand in his (definitely larger and rougher), like he doesn't care about rubs of paints in many different colours on Theo's hand and now, also on Blaise's one.

He pulls his friends outside and enters the garage like he is in his own house. Theodore knows what he means without words and grabs his bicycle with a big smile on his slim face.

Meanwhile, Blaise grabs his skateboard, which, only in the form of rebellion against sentiment, he did not give a name. But he perfectly knows that by his skateboard, people could see a different side of his personality, which he doesn't show often — bloody sentimentalist who loves very clichéd books or movies and constantly remembering beautiful moments, and it doesn't matter if that happens a year ago or two hours ago.

The skateboard has its best years far behind its. The picture which was printed on the underside of 'his love' (although, of course, incomparable to that of the boy just standing next to him) has almost completely faded and crumbled, peeling paint seems not so good, to put it mildly, but in Blaise's opinion, it adds the special character and charm to his skateboard. Every scratch and every cooked screw tell a story and Blaise thinks it definitely better than new skateboard — probably glamorous but without its own character.

Blaise isn't similar to Theo, not it that topic. He has never had boxes filled with various craps, which refer to many different events and happenings. He doesn't have special notebooks with tickets, a diary or millions of notes with quick sketches, created under the influence of a sudden flow of wen. He doesn't keep every notes and message on scraps of papers, which have been hand down on lessons, in hope that the teacher wouldn't see that. In first, even having a photo album was strange for Blaise. It shows, that he likes looking back at past and that feeling, which sometimes accompanies you right before falling asleep, when you remind yourself one of those pleasant situations from childhood, isn't foreign for him. It was all he was trying to defend himself against, but only for a time.

For a time when on his way stood that quite frail and nerdy boy. Theodore showed him being sentiment isn't something bad just as singing songs out loud in public places. As compensation, Blaise showed him the magic of comics and all these beautiful, charming in their area, which he discovered while taking a walk daily. Blaise pulled Theodore out of his room and dragged him away from the easel to lead him everywhere he can.

"To our place?" Theodore asks and gets on his a little too small, colourful bike. The seat creaks quietly under his mass but none of the boys pays any attention to this.

"Exactly, now ride, my carriage" Blaise screams and catches up on Theo's seat so the movement of the bicycle can drag him.

"Pff, flax" Nott giggles and Blaise find it as the most sonorous, melodic sound in the whole world.

They ride slowly through all that musty hole, also known as Torquay, or — their home. The road even if it's really old and it remembers when they as children drew chalk on a street, is not in a bad condition. A worse fate befell the road signs — some of them are smeared with sprays, and some are knocked off the ground, due to a car accident or a group of probably drunk but still strong young people.

There are many houses near the road. They are quite poor and definitely not as modern as houses in the capital. At some time, before he started taking daily walks, Blaise dreamed about living in London. Or rather, to be able to tell others that he lives in London. It's another thing which distinguishes him from Theodore — the older boy sees beauty everywhere, in everything and in everybody. Blaise envied him with this skill, for him the world has been boring or just ugly and people have been cruel sometimes.

The sun is warming their backs when they slowly ride on a well-known path. They pass Mrs Shermik, so out of courtesy from four meters away from her, they shout to the old woman joyful 'Good morning'. As they turn into a lane, which is fortunately dry as it hasn't rained much lately, Theo starts humming under his breath.

"Hey Jude, don't make it bad" he looks at his friend (nearly losing control of his bike) and Blaise quickly understands what he means.

Blaise joins to his singing and adds next line:

"Take a sad song and make it better".

Someday Blaise would have worried. He was worried about what people would think, he was afraid someone would hear them. But not now. Now he doesn't care when the words flowing from the depths of memory, and when the song ends, he starts another, definitely his favourite — "Blackbird". Neither of the boys has a perfect voice, singing is definitely not their hidden talent, but that doesn't matter. And that is wonderful, isn't it?

Here Blaise can no longer skate further — the ground is too uneven, even ploughed by the tires of wheelbarrows and carts of people from the neighbouring village. The dark-skinned man rejects Theo's offer to simply get his bike's rack and chooses to run next to the boy. The basketball team and two trainings a week are finally coming in handy — thanks to this, his condition is really good and he doesn't gasp like an old man with asthma after twenty meters run. Theodore, noticing how well his best friend is doing, accelerates, forcing Zabini to run, which he accepts with a groan. Nevertheless, he catches up with the older boy and promises himself that as soon as they get there, he will get his revenge.

After five more minutes, they are a destination of their travel. The place they describe as "their", although they are well aware that they are not the only people who come here, is exactly as they remember it — beautiful.

It was Blaise who discovered them during one of his walks over three years ago. He perfectly remembered how it happened.

That day he was trying to find a rather fast but shallow brook, which he remembered from his childhood. Before Draco's move to London, they told Draco's parents that they were going to the field, but in fact, they went to the brook and walked back and forth on a tree that had fallen over the river. He remembered just as well how Draco's mother, on her way to the store, noticed they were not on the field, prompting a search. When their parents found them by the brook — wet but in unusually good moods, they were already too worried to be upset with them.

After searching for more than an hour (during which he definitely fulfilled the daily, maybe even a week, step norm, but he didn't care) he found a place from his memories, although it was difficult to recognize its. The brook had dried up completely, leaving only a faint riverbed and tree roots washed out of the ground, but the place has definitely retained its charm.

Theo drops the bicycle, leaning it hurriedly against one of the roots, and lays down on the grass, staring at the almost cloudless sky, hidden only by tree branches. Blaise, slightly out of breath, rests his hands on his knees and stays like this for a moment. When his breath normalized he comes closer to Theodore. There is a snap and a Polaroid camera gracefully named Hope spits out a photo in which the image hasn't shown up yet. Theo enthusiastically grabs a small piece of paper and starts waving it so fast that it is about to reach orbital velocity. After a while, the picture clears up the silhouette of a younger boy, who was about to lie down next to his friend. Blaise looks at the photo and asks smiling, even though he already knows the answer:

"For your or my album?"

"Of course mine," Theodore replies quickly, grinning happily, "Why do you need your own photos? They will be much more useful to me."

The dark-skinned boy can't help but messes Theodore's hair in one move of his hand. However, Theo is not annoyed by that, he reacts to it like a cat, moving closer and silently demanding further caresses, which the younger one does willingly.

They are sitting like that (or rather, Blaise is sitting and Theo's half lying on him) till the sunset. There is a flower crown on Blaise's head, made by Theo with field flowers collected by him. And of course, Theodore took a photo of Blaise in his work of art.

It's getting dark. Butterflies, which were flying around them flew away and gave way for beautiful moths and fireflies. Theodore stands up energetically and starts jumping on protruding trees' roots, chasing insects to take a photo of them.

"Theo, please be careful," Blaise says attentively but the only response is 'don't worry' screamed by Nott.

Blaise unwillingly starts remembering his childhood. Times, when he wasn't Theodore's friend and all that connected them, was the same neighbourhood, chalk and short-term relationship of their parents. Then they found that as a stupid and loathsome. Nowadays, at their seventeen's, just as weird. But they weren't friends. After all, Blaise was friends with Draco and the teacher in primary had repeated that it's better to have fewer friends but true friends. So Blaise fraternizes with Malfoy till he moved to London.

It's not that now Blaise finds it as a mistake or holds any grudge with Draco. But nowadays he thinks that it is not good to withdraw from others.

When Draco had left and moved to London, Blaise had thought they now he stayed alone but on that moment, Theodore slowly crept into his life. Nott sat next to Blaise on school basketball pitch and started reminding happy moments from times when Draco lived in Torquey.

And later he showed his painting to Blaise and dark-skinned boy couldn't believe someone his age could do something that beautiful. A week later Blaise sat down with him in the canteen and sometime later also on most of the lessons so he could distract him from learning to read their favourites comics.

Now, Blaise would imagine his life without his always laughing and only sometimes a little faraway friend.

His thoughts are interrupted by a quiet scream.

"Ouch!"

Blaise, worried, stands up imminently and run through Theo. He is curled up in a fetal position between roods of the biggest tree. Zabini hugs him tightly and Theodore accepts that willing, cuddling to his chest while holds back tears.

"Ah, Theo" Blaise whispers, still cuddling the boy in his arms, "I asked you to be careful."

"I'm sorry, Blaise" he answers, sniffing.

"Don't apologize to me, silly" Blaise couldn't stop himself from nuzzling his friend's cheek.

"But you are worrying now and you warned me that I might get hurt..."

"Shhhh" Zabini interrupts him and places his fingers on Theo's mouth to shushes him "I always worrying about you, no matter if you get hurt or not" he admits truthfully and after a few seconds of silence adds "Please, stop crying.

He stops hugging Theodore, although he wants to do it forever. Blaise squats in from of him and gently grabs his friend's head. He wipes away tears, flowing slowly on fairy (although all that time, spends under the sunlight) skin.

He wants to not cry because of sadness or pain, wants him not to have reasons for a cry.

He wants him to be always happy, even if that meant that Blaise wouldn't be on his side.

Wants, wants, wants.

But the world isn't always beautiful, even if Theodore thinks so. Sometimes the world is cruel, ugly or just totally boring. The same about people who live in it.

Do it's really important to find your refuge. A place, a person or a hobby, which will be like an escape from all evils in that world.

Blaise thought that his escape is comics. Reading them has dragged him into the world of superheroes where he could use his imagination and think about meaningless things for hours such as what superpower would he choose (flying, of course). Besides that, the world in comics is just easier. It isn't hard to differentiate who is good and who's bad. Good people fight with bad people, that's all. The Justice League cares about Gotham and saves innocent people from Joker, Deadshot or Darkseid. In the real world, it would be an unsolvable matter with billions different threads and complications so even the best detectives wouldn't be able to decide who is guilty.

Comics world is just easier.

Lately, Blaise has got to understand that the whole beauty in that world is locked in its confusions, problems and ambiguities. Because the world is beautiful, even if sometimes it's cruel or ugly.

And the one who made him understand that is his only real refuge — Theodore Nott.

He is the one who makes reading comics even better.

He is the one with who Blaise could do anything and it would be incredibly good.

He is the one with who Blaise wants to talk about 'good old times' and makes new memories to remember.

He is the one with who Blaise wants to stay forever.

Theodore Nott is the one who Blaise bestow that hot and unique feeling which, no matter what since says, comes from the heart.

And that feeling, now makes him do something, he has been dreaming about for that long. Blaise gently and unsurely grabs the head of the person, who since a year isn't only a friend for him. He delicately raises Theo's head a bit upper to look him straight into his eyes. Their lips touch slowly and gently. Both of them don't feel so confident with what's going on but they will worry about that later. Now, Blaise doesn't have the time and desire to thinks about the consequences. Not now, when he feels the structure of soft lips of his love.

When the dark-skinned boy doesn't notice any objections from the older boy, he let himself do a light, carefully move with his lips. He doesn't want to scared Theodore, knowing how delicate and artsy person he is. He would ever forgive himself hurting Theo.

If he only knew how long Theodore was waiting for it and how much he enjoys that kiss, even if Blaise's lips are rough and chapped.

Blaise gently moves away and hangs his head down, looking at too long grass. He's afraid of seeing Theodore's reaction for what he has done because he's afraid of rejection and ending that important relationship.

However, Theo, likes he doesn't see his friend insecure, giggles lightly and grabs the younger boy cheeks, turning his face to him.

"Oh, finally. How long might I wait?" Theo says with a delightful smile.

"Really. You... Me..." Blaise mutters like he doesn't know what he wants to say.

"Yeah, silly" Theo chucked and hits an end of Blaise's nose with his "You're definitely my favourite person in that universe. And every other, alternative universe too."

Blaise, still can't believe what's happening, hugs his boy and kisses him quickly. The kiss is one hundred per cent cute and totally not sultry. Because feelings as sultry and desire don't fit Theodore, even in an alternative universe where Bruce Wayne become the Devastator instead of Batman. It just does not fit.

"Yeah, and you're my fav person."

They sit in silence for a while, but it's nothing wrong. The silent can be calming and comfortable, it can say more than every word in the world.

The air is getting cooler and owls' chirps become more ominous, so finally, Blaise breaks the silence and says:

"Theo" mentioned boy turns to him and glance at Zabini, "Is your knee still hurting?"

"It's not that bad" Theo shrugs but Blaise quickly understands that it's not good either, "But can you ride the bicycle? I'll drive on its carrier."

"But what with my skateboard?" Blaise asks inconvenience.

"I'll carry it, please" Zabini's only answer is a sigh but not the irritated one. He doesn't know what would Theo had to do to irritate him.

"Alright, but please, be careful."

Blaise raises Theo's bicycle from the ground and helps the boy to climb up to the luggage carrier and then he carefully sits on its seat. Theodore holds Blaise's skateboard (which he has named against his will — Faith) with one hand and the other one is embraced around Blaise's stomach so Theo can stably stay on the carrier. Well, maybe not only because of that.

"To me?" Blaise proposes and slowly leaves their place.

Theodore automatically nods but then he understands that Blaise can't see him so he quickly says 'yes' some times.

Boys are leaving, slowly and without unnecessary haste, but that moment is different than every previous one, they have spent here. Now, they're leaving their place not as just friends.

From Theodore Nott's album:

"4th of May, 1984 —

My favourite day to remember"