#although I'm kinda glad that Clara isn't around

[lotus-ignis]

If the doctor goes on like this, he'll simply die of old age!

[shmowder]

FIRST ASK ON HERE!!!!!! Can you do a little drabble on the healers with a reader who constantly is using cat puns in their sentences? Like for example purrfect and pawsome!???

I'm glad to have you here new anon! <3 Woo first ask and already requesting a banger, huh? Feel free to pick an emoji, I'd love to see you around again.

[Platonic, humour, kinda crack]

Daniil Dankovsky

Secretly enjoys your puns

Absolutely doesn't want you to know that

He has to resist a stupid smile whenever you make them in, order to maintain appearance

Get him drunk enough or visit him when he's exhausted enough so his guard is down, then surprise attack him with a pun

He might just return the friendly fire

But no one will ever believe you

"Good, you're finally here." Daniil's voice came out muffled from behind the gauze mask, "Did you get back the test papers from Dr. Rubin? What do the results say?"

Not taking his eyes off of the plate in front of him, Daniil carefully separated a thin layer from the tissue sample, peeling it off and moving it onto the sterile glass slide, carefully placing the second slide on top and sealing it in-between. Without giving you a chance to reply, Daniil continued, "Positive like I theorised, correct?"

"Oh, yeah." Flipping through the three papers stapled together, with the most casual tone you say,"Pawsitive indeed."

His movement came to an immediate pause, processing your joke. Blinking the sleepiness away from his eyes, Daniil turned his head to look at you with one raised eyebrow.

You watched as he seemed to churn over a topic in his brain, weighting the ups and downs, considering the fact it's just the two of you in the room.

"Purrfect," rolling the Rs in his purr, his mask veiled a satisfied smile underneath, "that's all I needed from you for today. It's getting late. You should be on your way."

-

Artemy Burakh

Completely unphased

You have Isidor to thank for subjecting him to almost two decades of puns and dad jokes

And now

He gets to weaponise them on Sticky and Murky

If anything, he encourages your puns by replying with his own just to hear the sighs of youth

"What do you call a cow that plays an instrument?" Artemy sat on the opposite side of the small table, stirring the crushed leaves into his tea before tapping the spoon against the rim of the cup and setting it aside.

Blowing against your own cup to cool off the liquid inside, you took a sip, the bitterness of the leaves quickly dissolve away, a naturally sweet aftermath flooding your tastebuds. "What?"

The corners of Artemy's lips curled upwards, "a moosician." a satisfied look in his eyes.

An exasperated sigh came from the young girl sitting on the chair next to you. Murky attempted to ignore you two and focused on enhaling the pancakes on her plate.

"That's hiss-terical" you replied with a laugh.

"Not you too!" Sticky's voice embodied the betrayal he felt, rolling his eyes as he buried his face between his arms ok the table.

"You okay, kid? You seem to be feline down." Your quick reply got one hearty laugh out of the Haruspex who's struggling not to choke on his drink.

-

Clara Saburova

Sometimes she rolls her eyes and calls your jokes lame

Only to immediately steal them afterwards to terrorise Notkin and Grace with

Other times she's the one making the most heinous puns you've ever heard

Straight up shooting them one after another like it's nothing

So much it becomes a competition

"Did you hear about the man who lost his entire left side?" Clara swings her legs as they dangle from the edge of the fence she's sitting at, "now, he's all right."

"That's just claw-ful, isn't it." You give a polite smile her way

Shs returns it, although more strained, legs swinging faster.

"Yeah, but then he got hit in the head by a soda can. He's lucky it was only a soft drink, though."

"What are the chances? you've got to be kitten me."

Clara hops down from the fence, a serious look of determination in her fierce eyes as she steps closer, chin raised high.

"Too bad he died today when a pile of books fell on him, He only had his shelf to blame if you ask me."

"That's not something you should be joking about, Clara. I hope a cat-astrophe like this never efur happens again."

Frustrated by your cool demeanour and seamless humour, Clara sticks her tongue at you, demeaning your whole existence with the juvenile equivalent of the middle finger.

You've seen her give the middle finger to Dankovsky one time too many ofter before, indirectly exposing the soft spot she held for you just now.

"Your jokes aren't even that punny, paw-lease just give it up already.

"Paw-don me, clearly someone's got cattitude."

At last, she was defeated on her own turf. Clara may have lost this fight, but the war still rages on.

"You're really a fur-midable opponent."

With that as her goodbye, she runs off into the horizon, never to be seen again... until it's time for lunch. Ready to terrorise any innocent passerby with those deadly weapons you unawarly handed her, adding your puns to her already varied arsenal.