#also you know what would've made a great kurtana duet? Rupaul's Born Naked!

[yourstreetserenade]

santana and kurt would totally be drag race superfans and no one can tell me otherwise

You know what I was thinking, there really should be a Kurt/Santana friendship fic set during the high school years in which their relationship is explored through their mutual obsession with Rupaul's Drag Race.

Because if there were any two Glee characters who would become Drag Race superfans, it would absolutely be Kurt and Santana, undeniably.

Like they'd somehow find out they had the same favorite show. I think one day during glee Kurt and Rachel would probably be harmlessly bickering with each other, going back and forth about some song or costume choice and early-Rachel's tendency to dress like a toddler until he pointedly says ''you'll never be glamour''. Of course no one else in the room gets the joke/reference, except Santana who laughs inwardly. She and Kurt have a quiet, playful moment where they look at each other from across the room and realize they share something.

And then they sort of start this game together for a couple of weeks where they slyly throw out random lines and catchphrases from the show in front of the glee club. ''Go back to Party City where you belong'' Santana says to Sam for no apparent reason. Kurt tells Tina ''your tone seems very pointed right now''. Randomly approaching Finn Santana asks ''may I call you Jiggly?''.

No one has any idea of course but each time they get away with it Kurt and Santana always give each other these really adorkable pleased smiles. Then, after some time Santana just conveniently shows up at Kurt's place on show night, but tries to play it all cool and nonchalant acting like she only dropped by to pick up sheet music or his notes for class or something. Kurt however can totally see right through that of course and gives her what she asks for but also invites her down to his room because he was about to watch some TV. And Santana's all like ''fine whatever I can waste a few minutes'' when really she's secretly kind of giddy and delighted to have a Drag Race watching buddy.

It happens one week, and then the next week, and then the next and the next and after awhile all of Santana's pretenses drop. It's just sort of a given that on new episode days she'll just find her way over to Kurt's, they'll sit in his bedroom totally enraptured. Their friendship is a slow build at first, making silly bitchy chit chat with each other about the challenges and the queens but by mid season they're all in, having loud but playful, passionate debates about their favorite queens and runway looks, shouting when someone they love goes home, shaking their heads at Untucked scenes while they scarf down snacks, clutching their hearts when someone gives a really good lip sync. Together they can effortlessly reenact/recite Shangela vs Mimi Imfurst's iconic fight, although Kurt and Santana always bicker over who gets to play act Shangela cause neither of them ever want to be Mimi.

Also! Because Kurt likes to host you know he would try out all of his recipes on Santana during their Drag Race sleepovers.

They don't talk about it at school, they don't talk about it in glee, but it becomes like the crux of their friendship. And even though the visits still revolve around watching the show together, they start sharing other things too. I think Santana would appreciate Kurt's collection of vintage Vogue magazines. Santana would probably be willing to sit and critique all of Kurt's new wardrobe haul. I imagine they'd probably also get into this routine of buying random beauty/exfoliating products and trying them together (which they would then Toot or Boot!)

Drag Race becomes their special thing. It brings them closer. And at the end of every episode they have a mandatory dance off to The Beginning, dancing along with the queens on their TV. Because Kurt and Santana are those kinda dorks.

Eventually though I think there would come a day where Santana sat Kurt down and was like ''so Brittany and I are kind of official now and I know Drag Race is sort of our thing but I was wondering if maybe it would be okay if next time I come around, I bring her with me.'' And Kurt just smiles and tells her of course and that that he's really happy for them. And Santana's all ''whatever stop hugging me, Hummel''.

That's when this blond little cupcake enters the picture.

And here's the thing, Brittany would probably walk into that first Drag Race sleepover excited to see what the show was all about and to see Santana enjoy herself but because they’re a couple the dynamics would be get all screwy for awhile.

Kurt sometimes would probably feel like a third wheel sitting on the couch with them, especially when is Brittany gets all kissy and handsy with Santana who would try to focus. Like ''Brittany, not that I’m not enjoying this but after the show, okay? The judges are about to critique! Oh that feels good.'' 

It's not so much that Santana and Brittany pull that behavior at every Drag Race sleepover, it's that sometimes it's just plain awkward for Kurt to be their third wheel when the girls decide to get all cuddly and couply beside him. So he has an idea. ''Santana, if I have to listen to you and Brittany make those gross slurpy kissy sounds all night I should get to bring a friend to Drag Race night too!'' Figuring that it'll probably be Blaine or Mercedes Santana tells him to invite whoever he wants.

And that's when this annoying little muffin shows up.

And Santana is not pleased. Drag Race night is sacred and she doesn’t want Berry being a part of it at first. I imagine Rachel falling asleep during her first episode and Santana deciding that anyone who dares fall asleep in the middle of an episode will automatically get painted in their sleep. So the next day Rachel wakes up painted like Trixie Mattel (thanks to Santana, Brittany and Kurt because it was a group effort really). And Rachel is surprisingly a good sport about it that Santana is okay with Berry taking part.

I just imagine lots of kooky friendship moments.

I also have some headcanons about which queens would resonate with which characters. Like I totally see Kurt rooting hard for Jinkx Monsoon because he would appreciate Jinkx's quirky theatricality and the fact that Jinkx is an underdog who refuses to be dismissed. Rachel would totally identify with Alyssa Edwards because they both have that loud personality, you kinda of want to roll your eyes at them but you love 'em anyway. Meanwhile Brittany would be ALL about Katya. Why? Because Katya is batshit crazy in a way Brittany would find wonderfully delightful. Brittany and Katya are both such weirdos so it would make sense that she'd be Britt's favorite queen.

I strongly feel that all of the characters would gravitate towards queens with personalities similar to theirs. That said I'm still not entirely sure which queen would be Santana's #1. I go back and forth but I think maybe in the end I have to say Willam would be the queen Santana most felt connected to. ''Y'all wish for me to be nice and I'ma try''. I mean that quote just screams Santana.

Sure there are plenty of shit stirring queens throughout the season but I feel like Willam was more subtle and calculating where so many others were messy and chaotic. So I think Santana would totally get that and appreciate that about Willam who has a certain kind of bitch magic that appeals to her.

Man, I need someone to write this fanfic!