#also will i'm on this topic stop romantically shipping real people it's gross

[demiaroacejadeharley]

Trigger Warning: mentions of religious abuse/trauma, SA, rape, sult shaming, whorephobia, queerphobia, sexual activities

If you're a minor, please be warned that there are 18+ topics addressed in this post.

If you're a proshipper, please do not interact with me. Any asks from proshippers will be deleted. Any DMs from proshippers will be deleted and will be blocked. Any proshipper who screenshots this post and/or makes a post tagging me in it will be blocked.

I'm honestly tired of seeing proshippers calling antis (or anyone in general) purists or puritians for saying that they don't support abusive and problematic ships. Being an antishipper is not purity culture.

Purity culture was created by conservative Christians as a way by asserting dominates over marginalized people and non-Christian people.

Antis are not going after random Queer people and non-Christians by telling them that they're going to hell if they don't conform to heteronormitivity (idk if I spelled that right) and convert to the Christian faith. There are many antis that are Queer, as well as antis who are victims of religious abuse and have been abused by someone within the church. Telling antis that they're purists for saying that abusive ships are bad is queerphobic and insensitive and triggering to the antis who've experienced religious abuse.

Antis aren't going up to random women who are wearing revealing clothing and telling them that they need to start dressing modestly or else they'll be sexually assaulted, raped, or murdered by men. Antis are also not telling women in the sex work industry that they need to stop being a sex worker, or else they're just sluts and whores and they'll never be able to find someone that won't sexually abuse them.

Antis are not the ones telling people that having premarital sex and masterbation is a sin, and they must wait until marriage to have sex or abstain from any sexual activities, or else they'll be considered sinful and dirty.

Proshippers are also being aphobic when they call antis puritans as Asexual/Acespec, Aromantic/Arospec, and aroace antis exists. Ace and Aro people have been called puritans by Allos for simply experiencing little to no sexual/romantic attraction. But yet Allos will fake claim an Ace/Aro person's queerness if they experience any sort of sexual/romantic attraction.

Before I get any proshitters telling me that I'm a puritan (which will probably happen as proshippers don't know how not to harass anyone who disagrees with their gross ass ships), I'm a sex favored, romance favored, kinky aroace person with high libido who had premarital sex and masterbates frequently and reads non-problematic smutty character x reader fanfics and is a (beginner) Pagan Witch and a Satanist. So calling me a Puritan will have no effect on me as I've done things that are completely opposite of being a puritan.

So the next time you call any anti a puritan for simply say that abusive, pedophilia, and incest is bad, realize that you're telling Queer antis, religious abuse victim antis, and non-Christian antis that they deserve to go hell. You're also telling women, AFAB, and femme-aligned antis that they need to dress in a way that their bodies are fully covered or else they'll be SA'ed by men and saying that they're whores and sluts if they partake in any form of sex work.

So please, look up the real definition of what a Puritan is before you throw a Temper tantrum at antis.

[theshadowsingersraven]

Hi! Had to unblock you real quick since I had you blocked due to Elaingate. Let me address some concerns for you and refresh your memory, since I'm not sure how you're confused about this.

Why were Eluciens upset about the prior Elain Week? Well, firstly, it wasn't exclusively Eluciens upset. It was many people with different alignments about Elain interpretations, different ships, etc. People were upset that any ships were banned at all, because a concept not everyone seems to grasp, particularly people like you is that character apprecation does not look the same way for everyone. This is kind of a base rule for all of fandom, not just ACOTAR. People were further upset because Elain Week's rule about banning abusive ships or features of other characters was based on "protecting survivors". And doing that meant, even unintentionally, creating a dynamic where only survivors who felt like they related to were/triggered by Tamlin's behavior deserved those protections. Not people who felt triggered by Rhys, Nesta, Feyre, etc.

There is a page for this Elain Week. It had to be taken over by new hosts because the prior hosts dealt with so much harassment and hate that they no longer felt comfortable hosting after 2023. If you check Elain Week's Archive, you can see the blog started in 2022 and has had posts since then. This is not a new blog. In fact, I personally reached out to the prior hosts, and here's my post doing so. Which, fun fact, is also tagged Elriel. Which means that any single one of you who felt like you should be included/represented were more than welcome to collaborate with me. That didn't happen. One Elriel (something like Pluto, iirc?) commended me for actually taking action and taking the vast recommendations Elriels made--which was to make our own Elain Week. And that happened.

Elain Day was spontaneous. That's the point. Some people who were friends with one another or mutuals discussed it with each other to make something, but it clearly wasn't widely announced to anyone since you can see that there are Eluciens who didn't know, Gwynriels that didn't know, Tamlains, etc.

You are, in fact, in a fandom of adults. The reality is that you isolated parts of this community who were shamed and treated like they were less than or didn't care about survivors of DV because their version of appreciating Elain didn't align with yours. Many of them DV survivors themselves-- including me!

Hi, I'm Raven, I'm a DV survivor, particularly at the hands of my dad. And yet, I'm capable of not treating people who have any appreication of Beron or might find a dynamic between him and any other characters interesting, particularly romantically, like shit or like there's some kind of moral failing. And these are my posts from months ago expressing that I, like anyone else, am responsible for my own triggers, as a DV survivor. I learned how to filter content that's tagged accordingly so I'm not exposed to things that trigger me, and there's even posts about how to do so yourself. x, x

Speaking as someone whose been in therapy for many years--art is therapy. Art is a way for people to cope, to experience things safely, to take their power back, etc. And it's gross to shame people for how they choose to explore topics, appreciate characters, or engage with a fandom generally, but especially when you don't know them or what their art means to them.

Respectfully, you have reaped what you sowed. I don't know how you can take a look at the elaingate tag and how many Elriels reacted, and not expect people to want to create a space for themselves to celebrate a character without further harassment and shame. No one is barred from participating in Elain Day, unlike the prior Elain Week.

You want to contribute something? No one is stopping you.

But you have no place to be upset that people stood on business about creating a different space when they didn't feel welcome in the other. And since Elriels were the ones pushing for the idea that not everyone is welcome in every space (which I personally disagree with) or that not everything is catered to you...shouldn't you be relieved to know that no is actually barred from this second one? That this isn't even the actual official event, just a random one-off day, and no one is prevented from participating?

Hope this sheds some light on the subject.

Leaving Elriels out of Elain Day, Real Classy Y’all

The Eluciens complain about how they felt like they couldn’t participate in Elain week, even though they were welcomed and given every opportunity to commission art. And chose to mostly not participate because they were upset about who the f knows what.

So then they host their own day for Elain and don’t advertise it anywhere and don’t even have a page for it, presumably to keep us out. How demure. How charming. How mindful. 🙄

All the sudden there’s commissions for an Elain Archeron Day, and not one Elriel I know had anything commissioned because we didn’t know about it.

I thought I was engaging in a fandom of adults, not overgrown mean girls who thrive on catty behavior and peaked in high school.

[nightswithkookmin]

RE JIMIN'S LOVE LANGUAGE

This is in response to questions I've received in my message box following my recent post on Jimin's love language. Ignore this if you've read my main post on this same topic- Or maybe not.

Also, I'm sorry about the Asks. I accidentally turned it off- AGAIN. Thanks for drawing my attention to it. I purple y'all.

What I meant by my last post was that, for us to understandJimin or even the rest of the members' love language, it is important we make a distinction between what is uniquely Jimin/the individual members' love language and what is their culture's or even the established and accepted practices within their group.

And on that, I said skinship is a cultural practice but also one of the group's adopted love languages. It is their way of achieving intimacy and bonding with eachother and as such they do not associate romantic connotations with it.

Thus, when they touch eachother in any way, provocative as it may seem to us, to them there is nothing romantic about it at all. So when Taekook, Jikook, Yoonmin or any of these pairs touch eachother, it is not with romantic intentions.

Why then does Jimlous and Jeonlous exist? For a myriad of reasons other than that skinship is romantic! Lol

I've explained previously, that JK and Jimin's discomfort with each other's skinship with the others often has to do with the lack of boundaries that is inherent in skinship rather than that they are actually jealous or see skinship as romantic. This is often true for Jimin.

With JK, his possessive nature very often amplifies his discomfort with the lack of boundaries but also because, out of the seven, he is the only one that had had a problem accepting and participating in the skinship culture within the group- well, him and Suga. It's taking them some getting used to.

But that wasn't because he was viewing skinship as romantic but rather because he was uncomfortable with affections and the overt expressions of it as is required of skinship.

That's not to say they do not or have not implied romantic intentions with their touches- there is nothing platonic about boners. Lol.

And any skinship that results in a visible sexual tension or arousal can no longer be deemed skinship- it's foreplay.

Jikook does skinship all the time like everyone else in the band, but often too some of those skinship crosses the platonic threshold into sexual foreplay- they ain't slick.

You just have to see the look on Tae's face when he noticed, through the view finder, Jimin caressing JK's thumb to comprehend that not all their touches are mere skinship.

That's one of the differences between Jikook and the other ships; Jikook presents a mutual sexual attraction towards eachother beyond the pubescent hormonal teen frenzy that marked their early formative days- god, those boys were so horny they could hump a tree to death. Bless them.

Mind you, I disregard any sexual innuendos that was present in Jikook's dynamics as well as any other ship's dynamics, if ever there was one, during that hormonal teen period of their lives. It was all something but nothing at the same time. They were all just being horny and gross teenage boys- Hashtag, war of hormones for real for real. Lol

All that that timeline taught me was, Jikook are freaky af and certainly don't see each other as brothers. CERTAINLY.

That being said, for a better understanding of Jimin's love language, a distinction must be made between love language and sexual interest. It will make sense in a bit.

Because Jimin's father is an affectionate person and this is the love language he has taught to Jimin, Jimin interprets any affectionate and kind act as a loving gesture. It is how he gives love, it is how he receives love.

He values kindness and compassion, selflessness, vulnerability, transparency, fairness etc.

Thus to show his love for you he will be kind to you, vulnerable with you, transparent with you, supportive of you and nurturing of you.

We see him being like this with all the members, even the staff and dancers too at times but more so with Tae and JK.

The question then is, how does Jimin receive love? What actions does he interpret as love? Easy, sexual attraction. Hear me out.

You see, because Jimin is a natural nurturer and he sees nurturing as a universal love language that everyone speaks or ought to speak, he requires his romantic love interest to distinguish between their platonic love interest and their romantic love interest.

To fulfill him emotionally, you would have to make him feel special, treat him differently from your friends, and let him know that you want him and only him.

Sexual interest is one way of distinguishing between platonic interests and romantic interests, and it flows from this that he not only requires grand gestures, or special treatment but that you flirt with him as well.

Hence his emphasis on flirting. He likes to flirt. He enjoys it. He's mastered it. He's a fucking pro at it- give him his medal.

Just to be clear, even though flirting is part of his love language, he has also adopted flirting as part of his idol persona and often when he is flirting overtly he is only doing it for the 'fan service.'

But that doesn't mean all of that is fan service. Sometimes it's blatant foreplay as I've explained above and if you can't tell the difference between his foreplay and fanservice- chileee, I can't help you.

I'm still traumatized by that Bon V 4 moment. Sweet Jesus, save me if they should keep this energy up!

It's important, at this point, to note that because Jimin is a nurturer, every decent human being can easily be compatible with him. I have said several times over my blog that Jimin is ship compatible with anyone and everyone- I ain't mad at that.

What it comes down to then is whom he prefers and whom he is choosing to make him happy and to fulfill him. I explained that choice and being able to be in charge of decision making and to make his own decisions is very important to Jimin because on his background.

And when it comes to love, it's no secret who Jimin wants. He wants JK and that's on Periodttt.

I explained that in the early days during Rookie King, he felt he needed to get emotionally closer to JK when he had an opportunity to talk and heal as a group- his personal was important to him.

In that JinJikook VLive when Jin was eating a lollipop in a provocative way he asked him to stop immediately but couldn't, for the love of god, tear his eyes off JK when JK ate his lollipop in a- I can't. Jikook!

Unless he is in his fan service mood or is being his slytherin slash whore of babylon self- bless him, often he would reject any attempt by anyone to flirt with him except JK.

And I keep reiterating this, flirting isn't JK's thing. It's Jimin's thing. The last time JK tried to this flirty- he cried. Lmho

Take that interview where the host moved closer to Jimin in a flirty way for example. Jimin leaned back away from him. In the popular words of Jimin- don't do that.

Then in this airport scene right here, where Suga and Tae tried to protect JM from getting mobbed (if video is missing check bottom of this post. I hate tumblr)

You could see Jimin moving towards JK. Now some may argue he was trying to protect the JK who seemed oblivious to what was going on but I beg to differ.

I just think Jimin was moving towards JK because that's his safe haven. That's the person he feels the most safe with. 'Jk will protect' 'JK is strong.' He felt threatened and his instincts was to fin that person whom he feels would and should protect him- and that person usually isn't very far away.

And no, I'm not being biased. It's just I can't in good conscience theorize and make wild assumptions about Jimin's emotional needs the way I would the other's because unlike the others, Jimin keeps showing us what he wants. Y'all are just not listening.

It is why I said, JK on paper seemed like the last person to meet Jimin's emotional needs. He didn't strike me as the ambitious type or the daring type the way Yoongi presented himself in early days. It is why I shipped Yoonmin or even Vmin.

And even in those ships, I didn't believe they were real. Suga was too emotional closed off and wouldn't

And as I explained, having been denied his ambitions, it's not a stretch to assume, Jimin desires an ambitious partner. One who loves the stage, loves their career.

But I feel, most people including myself underestimated Jungkook. As much as JK may not appear as ambitious career wise, he is one of the most passionate members of group.

His decision to join BTS was driven purely by passion, his decision to start GCF, get a tattoo and every other endeavor he's embarked has been driven purely by his passion. And passion is a variant of ambition.

Jimin pursues his ambitious and JK pursues his passions- they are the same in the same way. And I see why Jimin will tell JK they are one and the same. They are more alike than we think they are.

So yes, Jimin needs an ambitious partner but a passionate partner equally suffices.

What equally suffices is a supportive partner. One willing to sacrifice their ambitions or needs when it comes to it, to accommodate Jimin's needs. Jimin is very competitive in nature and hates to lose, we've been told.

And nobody lets Jimin win the way JK does. Nobody. It's funny, because VMin's dumpling fight took days/weeks to resolve. And Jikook's raining dat fight took a few hours.

What hit me about that tale as told by Jikook was JK going to Jimin to resolve their fight- another instance he let Jimin win. Tae loves Jimin but I don't see him sacrificing his ego and pride the way JK would for Jimin. I don't see any member doing that for Jimin quite frankly.

It is one way I see JK nurturing Jimin. Jk can be hard headed but there is a softness and a tenderness to him that's speaks to Jimin's love language.

I can go on and on about this topic, you know? Lol

Signed,

GOLDY