#also while we're here stop telling people to pirate music

[differentpostrebel]

Lost and Found: A Pirate's Promise

Chapter 43: A Dangerous Sweetness

This gif because we in the seducing woods for this part.

And this gif because we got Sanji kicking Yonji for even mentioning y/n.

A/N: we are back at it again with a new chapter! I finally got back my Wifi! And it's also my moms birthday today so, I'm sorry if I have been a bit MIA lately, but I will be dropping two new chapters today! And when I tell you… I have so many ideas for the wedding and I'm debating on so many things, but one thing for sure is we will get musical numbers in there or two. Also, Pudding is 21 here, and we also got that Ichiji POV, and Sanji POV. Thank you guys for following along, commenting, reblogging, liking, and just enjoying the series as much as I do. 

Word Count: 7.5K

Sanji X Reader, Sanji x Y/N, One piece X Reader. 

Nami POV…

Moments after Y/N left the Cafe: 

"Where are you going?" I asked Y/N, my voice filled with concern as she paused by the door. She turned back to give me a reassuring smile. "Don't worry, I'll be right back," she said before walking out.

"Poor girl must have a lot on her mind," I thought, watching her leave. I turned back to Pudding, who had been speaking softly to us. "I'm sorry, I never asked for your names?" she asked in a sweet voice while pouring tea.

"My name is Monkey D. Luffy, and I'm going to be king of the—" Luffy started, mouth full of food, before I quickly shut his mouth.

Pudding tensed. Her eyes darted over to Luffy. "Luffy?" she repeated, her voice rising with alarm. "Your name is Luffy?" Her voice pitched into a high shriek. "Now that I look closer, I do recognize you! You're Strawhat Luffy!" she screamed.

"That's right, and I'm going to be King of the Pirates!" Luffy announced proudly, grinning like an idiot.

I slapped my forehead. "Where’s Y/N when you need her?" I groaned internally. Brook chimed in from the corner, shaking his head. "We're all dead men walking now..."

Pudding backed away, wide-eyed and trembling. "Wait a minute... you people aren't really the Straw Hat Pirates, are you?" she said, voice cracking.

"Yup, we are!" Luffy replied confidently. "Except we’re missing one—she's outside," he added, referring to Y/N.

"Sanji’s crewmates are here... It can’t be true!" Pudding gasped.

Luffy slammed the table in frustration. "I just told you it is! Are you even listening to me? Wait... do you know Sanji?" he asked, the realization finally hitting him.

Pudding was still stunned, unable to process it all. "Hang on a sec... Why do I feel like I’ve heard that name before..." I muttered, deep in thought. 

"Wait a minute!" I yelled, my mind connecting the dots. "You're seriously the lady who’s supposed to marry Sanji?! Big Mom’s daughter?!" I exclaimed, shocked.

Pudding blushed and nodded shyly.

"Sanji is so lucky!" Brook cried out. "What a beautiful bride-to-be!"

"Brook! What are you talking about? Sanji’s engaged to Y/N!" Luffy blurted out, and I swiftly knocked him on the head.

"Enough of that!" I scolded, frustrated.

"I don’t understand... You’re not even Mama’s allies. How did you get through Tart's security? If she finds out you’re here, you’ll all be killed!" Pudding's voice trembled as she grabbed a knife, creating distance between us. "You’re the Straw Hat Pirates! You’re all scary pirates too!" she squeaked.

"Help me!" she cried out.

"Relax, it’s okay. We won’t attack you," I said, trying to calm the situation.

Pedro suddenly lunged forward, putting his blade to Pudding’s neck. "Hey, Luffy, want me to kill her?" he asked nonchalantly.

"What did I just say?!" I yelled, exasperated.

Luffy waved his hand dismissively. "You can let her go, Pedro. Don’t worry, we just came to rescue Sanji and stop Y/N’s wedding," he said with his signature smile.

Minutes passed, and Pudding finally relaxed. "So... that's what you want," she said, sipping her tea again. "You plan to take him away... I knew it. Mama is forcing him, but that's the way she does business," Pudding explained, her voice somber. "One of my older sisters ran away to find a husband of her choosing," she added, her words causing me to think back.

"You want to know something else? All of Big Mom's Pirates are blood relatives."

"Hey, Pudding, have you met Sanji yet?" Chopper asked while munching on the chocolate table.

Pudding blushed, smiling shyly. "We met only once," she admitted.

Pudding went on to talk about Sanji. "We like the same things... and he’s so manly!" she gushed.

"Wait, I recognize that expression... You love him, don’t you?" Brook said, leaning forward.

Pudding blushed even more, turning crimson.

"You’re in love with Sanji! Tell us!" I exclaimed.

"Y/N, where are you!" I thought, suddenly feeling the absence of her calm presence.

Pedro, still suspicious, suggested tying Pudding up, fearing she might reveal our location. "If we don't, she’ll tell Big Mom, and we’ll never find Sanji," Pedro warned.

"Excuse me..." Pudding said softly, her voice trembling again. "I swear I won’t tell Mama. Your secret’s safe with me," she promised, though Pedro wasn’t entirely convinced.

Pudding then agreed to help us find Sanji, and while Pedro remained wary, she began drawing a map for us.

"Despite everything, I dreamed of marrying for love, ever since I was a little girl," Pudding shared, her voice tinged with sadness. "Then, one day, I got to meet my Sanji. I was surprised that the groom was someone so wonderful, but right before our meeting ended, he told me something."

We all leaned in, hanging on her every word.

"He said, 'I really would like to marry you, but I’m afraid I just can’t. Because I’m already engaged to another... and I love her. I love my princess, Y/N.' And he also said that he wanted to go back to be with his friends," she said, wiping a tear from her eye.

"What?! Sanji rejected a girl?!" we all gasped in disbelief.

"Oh wow... if he said no to you, then he must really love Y/N and our crew," Luffy said, trying to fight back his tears.

"I know that princess..." Pudding began, her voice cracking for a moment before she regained composure. "I know Y/N is set to marry Ichiji, who is Sanji’s brother. He’s a great guy as well. She’s very lucky," Pudding said softly.

I exchanged glances with the crew.

As Y/N walked back into the room, all eyes turned to her, and I couldn't help but feel a tinge of concern. She looked calm, though a bit confused as she glanced around the room. I asked, trying to break the tension, "How was the walk?"

"Great, actually," Y/N replied with a light smile. "Someone even dropped me off to get here. He's right out..." She turned around toward the door, her brows furrowing when she noticed the person she was referring to was no longer there. "Strange, he's no longer there," she added as she walked further inside.

There was a shift in the room's energy as soon as she entered. Pudding, who had just moments ago been calm, suddenly tensed up. I caught a glimpse of something dark flicker across her expression—was it... a glare? It was subtle, but unmistakable. Pudding’s eyes fixated on Y/N for a second longer than felt comfortable.

Y/N, oblivious to the change, cheerfully asked, "So, what did I miss?"

I tried to keep my voice steady as I answered, “Oh, just a lot of... talking. Pudding was helping us find a way to Sanji and gave us a map.”

Y/N nodded but her gaze briefly flickered to Pudding, sensing the tension. Pudding, now all smiles again, quickly shifted her attention back to the rest of us, but I couldn’t shake the feeling something was off. It was as if Y/N's presence had changed everything in Pudding's demeanor, like she was hiding something.

I decided to keep quiet, but inwardly I thought, "What is going on with Pudding, and why did she react like that to Y/N?"

Y/N POV…

 I sensed the tension between Pudding and me, and honestly, it didn’t sit right with me. I couldn't figure out why—I hadn’t done anything to the girl, and we’d just met. But the way she looked at me earlier... there was something off about it.

Brook chimed in, wiping away tears. "You're such a gracious young lady, hard to believe you're the daughter of someone so scary."

"Daughter of someone scary?" I thought, processing his words. I knew she was Big Mom’s daughter, but hearing it phrased that way hit differently. Was she dangerous? Could she be trusted? My instincts screamed no. Did I trust her? Hell no. She felt like someone hiding secrets, and possibly a lot of them.

“This is great, thanks!” Luffy said, his carefree tone snapping me out of my thoughts as he practically inhaled the food on the table.

Then, a knock came at the door. “Lady Pudding, your escort is ready,” a voice called from outside.

Pudding turned to us with a smile, her earlier tension gone like it had never existed. “I’ve found a way for you all to sneak out,” she said sweetly, acting like nothing was wrong.

I kept my face neutral, but inside, I couldn’t shake the uneasy feeling. Was she helping us? Sure. But did I trust her? Hell no. Something about this girl just wasn’t adding up. And I had a feeling those secrets she was hiding might be more dangerous than we realized.

Ichiji POV…

“No problem… my fiancée,” I said softly, watching her disappear into the café. My eyes lingered on the door long after she was out of sight. Slowly, I brought my hand up to the spot where she had planted that brief, innocent peck on my cheek. A faint smile tugged at the corner of my lips as I felt the warmth of the touch.

"I finally see you." The thought echoed in my mind, igniting something possessive deep within me. That fleeting moment wasn’t enough. Now that I had seen her, I couldn’t shake the overwhelming desire to make sure she was always by my side, where she belonged.

Seeing you in that white dress... It had been perfect, a vision I’d never forget. She was everything I imagined and more. There was no way I’d let her slip away from me now.

Just then, my transponder snail rang, pulling me from my thoughts. I ducked into an alleyway, out of sight, and answered the call. "Ichiji, where the hell are you?!" Niji's voice barked through the line, full of irritation.

"Knock it off, I’m here in Chocolat Town," I responded, trying to keep the annoyance out of my voice.

"Are you forgetting the plan for our father?" he snapped.

"No, I haven’t. But I was picking up some things for my fiancée's arrival, and, well, time just seemed to pass by." I said, though my mind was elsewhere. Or better yet, seeing you... I thought, the image of Y/N still vivid in my mind. The way she smiled, the soft warmth of her touch... it was all mine. Soon, she would be.

"I’ll be there in five minutes," I added, hanging up the transponder snail.

I pulled out my raid suit from beneath my dress shirt and, in an instant, was fully suited up. My shoes squeaked as I made my way through Chocolat Town, my pace quick but deliberate. I grabbed what I needed: a bouquet of flowers, a nice bottle of wine—something she would like—and even stopped at the same shop where Y/N had tried on her ring. The shopkeeper, knowing exactly who I was, handed me the wedding ring she had worn, already set in a delicate box. Perfect. This will be the start.

Minutes passed, and I was already sailing with Niji toward Brock Collie Island, my mind consumed with thoughts of her. The want, the desire... it pulsed through me stronger than before. The image of her in that dress, the feel of her lips brushing against my cheek—it was a moment I craved to relive, but this time, there would be no interruptions.

We flew toward the mayor of the island, landing with a quiet yet commanding presence. The moment his eyes fell upon us, I could see the fear creep into his expression. "You're a sight for sore eyes," he greeted, his voice shaky. "Also, congratulations on your engagement to the princess." His attempt at pleasantries was pathetic.

"Skip the chit chat," I said coldly, not in the mood for his groveling.

"R-Right then, I'll brief you," he stammered, pulling out a crumpled piece of paper, probably some report he thought we'd care about.

"Don't bother," Niji interrupted with a smirk. "I take it you have the money ready?"

"Y-Yes, but..." the mayor hesitated, his eyes darting nervously from the paper to us.

"That's all we needed to hear," I cut him off sharply, no interest in hearing his excuses. "Now stand back and watch."

Our subordinates, all gathered behind us, stood tall and silent, ready for whatever came next. I glanced at Niji, both of us knowing this would be more than just a simple transaction. The air was thick with tension, but to me, it felt like excitement. I smirked as I anticipated the chaos that was about to unfold.

This was about to be eventful—just the way I liked it.

Chaos erupted around me as our subordinates began taking down the soldiers stationed on the island. Their screams and the sound of gunfire filled the air, but it all felt distant to me, almost like background noise.

“Are we done here?” I asked, barely glancing at the carnage.

“Yes, sir,” a subordinate replied promptly.

“Good, let’s go,” I said, already tired of this trivial conquest.

But as I turned to leave, a voice filled with rage broke through the chaos. “You killed my wife... you killed my children... you left my family in ruins!” yelled one of the surviving soldiers, his hands trembling as he aimed a gun at me. “I’ll send you to hell where you Germa bastards belong!”

Before he could pull the trigger, I smirked, unfazed. “Wall,” I commanded, and in an instant, one of my men stepped in, shielding me from the bullet without hesitation.

I turned back around, casually strolling toward the soldier. His fear was palpable now, and it only fueled my disdain. Grabbing his gun, I twisted it out of his hands as though it were a toy. “I can’t believe this took four hours. I could be with my fiancée right now,” I said, my voice low and cold. “Our wedding is soon, along with my brothers’. I don’t give a damn about your family or your war. They’re both irrelevant.”

With that, I shot him without a second thought, watching the life drain from his eyes before turning away. "Well, we're done. I can't believe these pathetic countries kept this up for two whole years." I scoffed, disgusted by their feeble resistance.

“You got the commission?” I called out to Niji over the transponder snail.

“You bet I do,” he answered.

As we walked through the rubble of what was once the heart of this pitiful island, the townspeople—those who survived—stood on the sidelines, trembling, but still chanting, “Germa, Germa, Germa 66! We love you!” Their desperate pleas for mercy or favor were sickening.

My transponder snail rang again, interrupting my thoughts. “The wedding is in 9 days. We can make it to Whole Cake Island in two,” I informed them. “What about Sanji?” I asked, my tone indifferent.

“He’s already here,” came the response.

“Good. Be sure to prepare my room. Make it fit for my betrothed, understand?” I ordered, picturing Y/N in my mind. “As for Sanji, I can’t wait to see him.”

“Is that a joke?” Niji muttered from behind me, clearly bored by the conversation.

I ignored him and hung up the call, my mind consumed by thoughts of Y/N. The image of her in that white dress was seared into my memory—a perfect vision of beauty and innocence that contrasted sharply with the reality of our arranged marriage. She was breathtaking, and the thought of possessing her—of making her my wife—sent waves of desire coursing through me.

This was more than just an obligation; it was a chance to claim what was rightfully mine. I had orchestrated this arrangement, and I intended to enjoy every moment of it. The idea of our wedding was intoxicating, filled with the promise of a night where I would finally unveil all the desires I had pent up. I could envision her in our wedding suite, the air thick with tension as I closed the door behind us, sealing us in a world of our own.

My imagination spiraled to what our wedding night would entail—the intoxicating blend of obligation and passion. I envisioned her soft skin beneath my fingertips, the way her breath would hitch as I drew closer. Would she fight it? Would she embrace it? The thought of exploring every inch of her, of making her mine in every sense of the word, made my blood run hot. I wanted to take her over and over again, to fill the room with our shared heat and pleasure, creating a rhythm that would bind us together in a way no one else could understand.

The kiss she had placed on my cheek earlier lingered like a ghost, soft yet electrifying, igniting a hunger deep within me. I craved her—body and soul. I wanted to pull her into my world, to teach her the depths of pleasure that awaited her beyond the confines of this arranged union.

Soon, Y/N. Very soon, I thought, a smirk tugging at my lips as we prepared to set sail. This marriage may have been arranged, but the fire between us would be anything but ordinary. I was determined to make her not just my wife but my obsession. And I would do whatever it took to awaken the desire I sensed simmering beneath her surface, to take her again and again until she could only see me as her husband, her partner, her everything.

Y/N POV…

As we left Pudding’s café, we began gathering everything we needed for our trip—food, supplies, the works. We passed by a few chocolate shops that caught Luffy, Carrot, and Chopper’s attention. They practically drooled over the idea of tasting everything, but we couldn’t afford any more delays.

Once we reached the ship, we unloaded our belongings and the bags filled with our essentials. I placed mine down and opened the small bag Nami had given me, checking to see if everything was still in place. There was my bandana, my sword, and the two hidden blades King had given me. All still intact. A sigh of relief escaped me. “Hey, has anybody seen Pekoms?” Luffy asked, his eyes scanning the ship and surrounding area.

We all spread out, searching for him, but he was nowhere to be found. Chopper suddenly spoke up, “I found something... someone left a writing on the wall,” he said, pointing to the message scrawled in hasty letters: "Turn back."

The air grew tense. Everyone stood still, trying to grasp the weight of the message. For a brief moment, it felt like the world stopped, uncertainty seeping into the group. But then, Luffy grinned, that wide, unstoppable grin of his.

“Good! This is starting to get real good,” he said, excitement flashing in his eyes.

“The further we go into Big Mom’s territory, the more scared I get,” Brook said, a nervous edge to his voice.

“We barely left port; we’re still near Cocoa Island,” Nami replied as Luffy asked where we were.

“There’s no sense in rushing anyway. Besides, we’re going to meet Pudding by the coast, remember? If we arrive early, we can’t really do much,” Brook added.

“I don’t know, guys. There’s something off about Pudding,” I said, my instincts flaring up.

“What makes you say that?” Nami asked, a teasing glint in her eye.

“I feel like she’s not being truthful. There’s something off about her,” I explained, glancing around at my crewmates.

“You’ve been hanging around Zoro way too long, haven’t you?” Nami smirked.

I felt my cheeks heat up. “Not our fault we both have trust issues,” I laughed, scratching the back of my head to ease my embarrassment.

Soon, I went to grab the bag I’d used to hide my gear. I pulled out Zoro’s bandana, my sword, the thigh halter, and the two hidden blades, feeling their energy course through me once more. I pressed all three gemstones, watching as my sword expanded, and I strapped the thigh halter to my right thigh, securing it snugly. I wrapped Zoro’s bandana tightly around my sword's hilt, placing it behind my back.

Pedro came down, lighting his cigarette and giving me that familiar smirk. “So, are you going to teach me?” I asked, laughing.

He exhaled a cloud of smoke. “I snap, and it appears. But you garra clench your right hand and snap,” he instructed.

I followed his instructions, and in an instant, electricity sparked between my fingers. “I did it!” I exclaimed, thrilled.

“Do you smell what I smell?” Chopper and Carrot said, their eyes wide with excitement.

“It’s not seawater; it’s sweets!” they shouted.

“Hey, I see an island!” Pedro said, pulling out his binoculars. “According to the map, it must be Jam.”

“But we won’t be stopping there. We’ll follow the log pose to the right,” Nami clarified.

“We’ll have Sanji bake for us! Hard starburst!” Luffy yelled, steering the ship with glee.

“Not that hard!” Nami retorted, rolling her eyes.

Brook took the wheel while Luffy decided to cook. “This is an emergency; I’ll take it from here,” Nami said, stepping in to take over.

“Phew,” I sighed in relief.

Suddenly, we were jolted hard, the ship tipping dangerously to one side. “Nami leaves for one second, and we’re already tipping! What happened?” I said, gripping the railing.

“I swear it’s not me!” Brook insisted, his eyes wide.

“Something’s in the water!” Carrot shouted as we continued to tip side to side.

“What the heck is that?!” I cried, my heart racing.

“Oh no, it looks like a big snake!” Nami exclaimed, panic creeping into her voice.

“It’s huge!” we all shouted in unison.

“Woahhh, look at its teeth!” Luffy remarked, eyes wide with awe.

“Luffy, do something!” she yelled as we all grabbed our weapons. I unsheathed my sword, ready to press the gemstone.

“Luffy unleashed Jet Gatling, knocking the centipede down. “Aww, we wanted to fight too!” Carrot and I said in unison, placing my sword behind me once more.

“Hahah, sorry!” Luffy laughed.

Suddenly, a giant centipede emerged from the water, towering over us.

“It’s so huge!” Brook exclaimed, panic rising in his voice.

Luffy used Jet Gatling again, but this time it didn’t work. Gripping my sword tightly, I pressed the red gemstone, flames pulsing through my weapon.

“Everyone aim for the belly!” Pedro shouted, determination in his voice.

Luffy entered Second Gear and managed to defeat it once more. “Why don’t I get a chance to be awesome too?” Pudding pouted as I deactivated the red gemstone and returned my sword behind me.

“It’s okay, Pudding; don’t worry,” I reassured her as we continued to sail.

“Hey, Nami, what kind of food place are we heading to now?” Luffy asked, his eyes shining with excitement.

“We’re heading to Biscuit Island,” Nami replied.

“We’re in the Mixed Juice Current,” Pedro warned us about the dangerous creatures in the current.

Luffy suddenly grabbed a giant watermelon, and in an instant, the watermelon engulfed him.

“What the hell is that?!” I shouted, my eyes wide.

Luffy managed to defeat it, then did the same for the other fruits he brought onto the ship. “Let’s dig in!” he said, tearing into the giant watermelon, while I began to savor an orange.

“Wow, this is juicy,” I said, Carrot joining me.

As night fell, we found ourselves stuck in a syrupy sea.

“Just melt this syrup!” Nami yelled, the sea ants swarming around us.

After the last of the sea ants was defeated, Pekoms began to tell us his backstory. “I was so naive; I thought I was a grand explorer, but I was a wanted man. Please keep this story between us,” he said solemnly.

“I faced a devastating defeat here,” he continued.

“Pedro…” I whispered, feeling sympathy for him.

“You have bad memories, yet you still came back,” Nami said gently. Pedro nodded his head,  “Besides, this might be the way to rectify the wrong I did,” Pedro replied.

“What is your plan once you defeat Kaido?” Pedro asked Luffy.

“I don’t know; I haven’t thought that part through,” Luffy admitted, scratching his head.

“If you want your plans to see through, you must get Mama’s Road Poneglyph,” Pedro advised.

“So, in addition to taking back Sanji and ending Y/N’s marriage, I suggest we take Mama’s Poneglyph,” Pedro continued.

“Now you’re talking my language,” I said, smirking at Pedro.

“But rescuing Sanji might be hard enough already, let alone ending your marriage, Y/N,” Chopper pointed out.

“Robin did ask me for one; maybe after we rescue Sanji and end Y/N’s marriage,” Luffy suggested.

“I understand. I’ll go, and you stop Y/N’s marriage and rescue Sanji. Is that satisfactory? When we reach the island, can you buy me a little time?” Pedro asked.

“Shouldn’t we talk this through?” Nami inquired.

“I sometimes wonder if things work out for Luffy because he was born under a lucky star, yoho!” Brook said, lightening the mood.

“Ahh, the ants woke up!” Chopper yelled.

We all sprang into action, grabbing our weapons. I turned on the yellow gemstone, feeling a new power surge through me. I channeled the energy, my sword lighting up with bright electricity as I shouted, “Electric Arc!” A powerful wave of electricity erupted from my sword, zapping several ants at once.

“Looks like it’s your time to shine,” I muttered as I continued to fend off the relentless swarm.

“There are too many!” Luffy yelled, his frustration mounting.

“Protect the Sunny!” he commanded as dawn began to break.

Once the morning sun rose, we continued our trip, all of us feeling the effects of at least one bite from the ants.

“I’m too itchy!” I complained, scratching my thigh while trying to focus on the next step of our mission.

The excitement in the air felt electric as we docked on the island. My heart raced at the thought of seeing Sanji again, but the nagging feeling that something was off wouldn’t leave my mind. Luffy’s enthusiasm was infectious, and as he hopped off the ship, I couldn’t help but smile at his boundless energy.

“That’s one fancy-looking island! So this is the kind of place an emperor lives!” he exclaimed, his eyes sparkling with wonder.

Nami pointed toward a colossal cake in the distance, and I felt my stomach growl at the sight. “Should I keep steering?” Brook asked, glancing at the helm.

“Yes, we’ll head toward that cake!” Nami replied, her voice bright with anticipation.

“Maybe we can find a way to thank her,” she added, referring to Pudding. The thought momentarily distracted me from my concerns, but I still couldn’t shake the unease in my gut.

Suddenly, Luffy’s voice pierced through my thoughts. “There’s a figure up ahead! It’s Sanji! Hey, Sanji!” He sprinted forward, the rest of us following suit.

“Could it really be him?” I thought, feeling a mix of hope and anxiety. “Is that him for real?”

As we docked the ship, Pedro and Brook prepared to take care of the Poneglyph mission with the shark submersible. “Good luck, you two!” I shouted, waving them off, but my worries resurfaced. “Be careful! I still feel something is off,” I called after them, my instincts prickling.

“We’re counting on you!” Nami shouted, determination in her eyes. As Luffy jumped off the ship with his usual exuberance, I felt a rush of adrenaline.

I rummaged through my bag, feeling the familiar weight of my gear. I removed the thigh halter, tucking my blades securely inside. Pressing my sword’s gemstone again, it shrank, allowing me to strap it across my body. Glancing at Zoro’s bandana, I noticed it had shrunk too, resting comfortably next to my weapon.

“Alright, let’s go find Sanji. That way, we can make phase two easier,” I said, a fire igniting within me at the thought of confronting Ichiji for what he did.

“Sanji! Pudding! We made it just like you told us!” Luffy shouted, his voice echoing through the air.

“Do you think he ran away?” I asked, unease settling back in.

Nami shrugged, her brow furrowed. 

“Look over there!” I pointed at the forest, excitement blooming again. “Sanji!” I yelled, waving my arms in the air, but he just turned away and vanished into the trees. “Come back! Wait!” Luffy and Carrot yelled, urgency in their voices.

“Let’s go, Nami!” I urged as Luffy, Carrot, and Chopper took off ahead of us. “Why would he run though?” I wondered aloud.

“Maybe he’s just embarrassed?” Nami echoed, concern evident in her tone.

The three of them marched on, and I couldn’t help but roll my eyes. “Alright, let’s split up! I’ll search near the cakes!” Luffy exclaimed, pointing at the sugary wonders in the distance.

“Oh, you have got to be kidding me…” I muttered, watching as Chopper eagerly headed toward the caramel, while Carrot was drawn to the jellybean trail.

“No, you don’t! You’ll get lost again!” Nami said, frustration rising in her voice.

“Shesh, just have a snack! But don’t wander off alone,” I added, crossing my arms as I watched them.

“Are we going to be okay?” I sighed, glancing at Nami, who shared my apprehension as we followed behind.

Suddenly, chaos erupted as something surged from the water. Nami and I stumbled backward, losing our balance. “Y/N! Nami!” Carrot shouted. “It’s closing in!”

Luffy swiftly grabbed us, his grip strong. “It’s a crocodile!” I cried, pointing at the peculiar creature that waddled past us, wearing a hat.

“What, you don’t think we’re good enough to eat?” Luffy joked, but I shot him a disapproving look.

“Luffy, that’s not the point!” I exclaimed, my heart racing. “Besides, there’s a walking crocodile wearing a hat!” I pointed out, incredulous at the absurdity of our situation.

“I knew this place was dangerous and weird,” Nami muttered, her eyes wide.

“Um, we got talking animals with hats right here,” Luffy retorted, gesturing toward Chopper and Carrot, who were just as bewildered.

“Come on, you know what we mean,” we chimed in unison, laughter bubbling up despite the bizarre circumstances.

As we continued our search, I couldn’t shake the feeling that we were being watched. I scanned the area, ready for anything that might spring from the shadows.

"Let's head back... I trust Pudding. She hasn't led us wrong, and if we stay by the coast, she'll bring Sanji to us," Nami said with a tone of confidence, though there was a flicker of uncertainty in her eyes.

I crossed my arms, still unconvinced. "I still don’t trust her, Nami. What if she already told someone we were here? At the end of the day, she’s still Big Mom’s daughter."

Nami glanced at me, considering my words for a moment. Before she could respond, Luffy, always eager to push forward, chimed in. "We’ll be fine! The river isn’t all that big—I can jump it!" he said, clearly not wanting to turn back or acknowledge my doubts.

"Luffy, I know you’re not scared, but that’s not the issue," I countered, narrowing my eyes. "I think this forest is bad news." I gestured toward the dense trees surrounding us, the eerie atmosphere growing thicker with each passing moment.

Nami, now more cautious, agreed. "She's right. Something feels off about this place."

"We’re already in Big Mom’s territory," I reminded them. "Whether we head back or not, we’re in her domain. There’s no way we can avoid conflict by just staying put."

Luffy waved a hand dismissively. "We’ve already come this far. Pudding wouldn’t trick us, right?"

"I don’t know," I said, my voice quieter now but still firm. "But we need to be smart. The last thing we need is to walk into a trap."

Chopper and Carrot were casually licking a giant lollipop, completely unfazed by the growing tension around us. "What's wrong?" asked Carrot, oblivious to the danger, as she noticed a strange figure ahead.

We all turned to see another Luffy standing there. "Why is there another Luffy?" Nami asked, eyes wide in disbelief.

"It's a clone?" I muttered, watching as the two Luffys started butting heads. The other Luffy mimicked his voice and every movement, an uncanny reflection of the real one.

"Two Luffys! Which one's the real one?" Nami exclaimed, her voice rising in panic.

"It's like a mirror image," said Chopper, his eyes darting back and forth between them.

Before we could make sense of it, Carrot pointed excitedly. "Look, it's Sanji! He's right over there!" We all followed her gaze to the top of a nearby tree, but something felt off.

"Guys, I don’t think that’s Sanji..." I said cautiously, squinting at the figure. Something wasn’t right.

Chopper and Carrot, though, were already charging toward the figure, convinced it was Sanji. "Nami, Y/N, go with them. I'll catch up once I kick this guy's ass," Luffy called out, his confidence never wavering.

We nodded and dashed into the forest after Chopper and Carrot. "Hey, Sanji, wait up!" I yelled, trying to keep up. "I promise I won’t punch you for saying we were engaged! We just want to talk!" My voice echoed through the trees as we ran.

Suddenly, we skidded to a halt, eyes wide at the sight in front of us—a giant, half-buried in the ground, laughing and asking for juice.

"Oh, it's way too early for this..." I groaned,

"H-he's crazy!" Nami stammered, clearly freaked out.

We all ignored the giant, continuing to sprint through the bizarre forest. "This is like a fever dream," Nami muttered, shaking her head in disbelief.

"Hey! Nami! Chopper! Y/N! Watch out!" Carrot's voice rang out just as a rabbit—dressed like a warrior—burst from the bushes, slashing a tree right in front of us.

"Carrot, we need to run!" Nami shouted, her panic rising.

Without wasting another second, we bolted. "I’ve had enough! This place is too creepy!" Nami yelled over the sounds of our frantic footsteps.

"I hate it here!" I shouted in agreement, my frustration boiling over.

"We should head back to Luffy," Nami suggested, her voice urgent.

"Agreed!" I said, but just as we made the decision, the world around us began to shift. The ground twisted, and the trees seemed to warp and change shape.

"What is happening now?!" I shouted, stepping back in confusion as the forest itself seemed to distort.

"Is the rabbit still here?" Nami asked, looking around frantically.

"Yeah, and he's close behind us!" Carrot warned, her ears twitching in alarm.

We ran faster, dodging the branches and shifting terrain, but the rabbit was relentless. Suddenly, he hurled his sword at us, slicing through the air. We barely dodged it as we kept running, hearts pounding and adrenaline surging.

Sanji POV…

Dread seeps through me as I stand once again within these cold, oppressive castle walls. Every step I take brings back the haunting memories of my childhood—of my so-called family, hitting and tormenting me. This place reeks of those awful days. All I want is to escape this cursed marriage and, more importantly, to prevent Y/N from marrying that bastard Ichiji. If I can stop that from happening, I’ll return to the crew and be with everyone again.

As long as Y/N isn’t here, at least I can protect her. Ichiji won’t get the chance to even lay a finger on her.

The echoes of my footsteps grow louder as I walk slowly, the air thick with tension. Turning down a familiar corridor, I glance at the dent in the wall—left there years ago when my brothers threw me against it. The sight makes my stomach twist.

“Brings back memories, doesn’t it?” A voice cuts through the silence, and I feel my anger flare instantly. Yonji steps into view, a smug grin plastered on his face. “Good to see you, I’m surprised. I thought you’d be dead by now. But here you are, still scrapping around as a pirate.”

His voice, that tone—it boils my blood. But I stay silent, hands still buried in my pockets, refusing to give him the satisfaction of a reaction.

“Cat got your tongue?” Yonji taunts, stepping closer. “What? No witty comeback? No smart remarks?”

“Get lost,” I finally say, my voice sharp and unwavering. “I have nothing to say to you. I cut ties with this family a long time ago.” 

“Well, I’ve got a few things to say to you,” Yonji starts, stepping closer with that same infuriating smirk. “I hear you’re refusing to marry the daughter of the Charlotte family. Let me remind you, Sanji—this is what you were made for. You don’t have a choice in the matter.”

I stay silent, lighting my cigarette. The familiar burn at my fingertips helps keep my rage in check as I take a slow drag, exhaling the smoke in a long, steady stream. I don't even bother looking at him. “Do I need to repeat myself? Get lost.”

Yonji’s smugness doesn’t waver. In fact, it only seems to grow. “You know, I did have the pleasure of meeting that little princess of yours,” he says, his tone dripping with malice. “I believe she’s on her way as we speak.”

That made me tense, but I tried not to show it. Y/N... If she's really here, things just got a lot more dangerous.

“She thought I was you, actually,” Yonji continues, clearly enjoying himself. “Kept muttering about how if it really was you... latching onto me, kissing me—”

My blood ran cold, my fist tightening in my pocket as he spoke. But I didn’t lash out. Not yet.

“I tell you, she’s one hell of a woman, that princess. When she figured out I wasn’t you, that didn’t stop me from wanting to claim her. But then again, Ichiji would’ve killed me for that.” He leans in, his voice lowering. “From what I hear, Ichiji’s already spotted her. 

A wave of fury surged through me, so powerful it nearly overwhelmed the calm facade I was struggling to maintain. Ichiji...

Yonji noticed my reaction, his grin widening. “Oh yeah, Ichiji’s taken quite the liking to her. Says she’s got spirit and fire, the kind of challenge he’s into. Can’t say I blame him—she’s a rare one. He’s looking forward to the wedding, more than you, I’d wager.”

My cigarette trembles between my fingers, smoke curling up into the air as I try to control the storm brewing inside me. “That bastard...”

As Yonji lunges at me, I quickly dodge to the side. “Diable Jambe!” I call out, feeling the heat surge through my leg.

In a swift motion, I pivot and deliver a powerful kick, the flames igniting at my heel. Our feet collide, but while Yonji tries to maintain his stance, I can feel the impact resonate through him. He staggers back, and I watch as a dent forms in his cheek, a satisfying sign of my victory.

“That’s what you get for underestimating me,” I say, smirking as I puff out a cloud of smoke from my cigarette.

Turning away from him, I start to walk off, the adrenaline still pumping in my veins. I have no intention of staying in this cursed castle longer than necessary. I can’t let my family’s dark history drag me back in, especially when I have Y/N to protect.

Y/N POV…

"This damn rabbit doesn't know when to quit, huh?" I said, glancing back at the chaos behind us as we continued to run. The forest was becoming a fever dream, full of traps and trickery.

“Get ready to dodge!” Nami shouted, and we instinctively veered to the side, narrowly avoiding a swiping paw.

“The field of lollipops! Once we make it here, we’ll get back to Luffy easy!” Carrot exclaimed, her enthusiasm a stark contrast to the chaos we were facing.

“Luffy! Let’s go!” we yelled in unison, sprinting toward the colorful yet ominous field. “This place is full of traps!” I warned, my instincts screaming at me to be careful.

“Alright, the exit should be on the other side of the bridge!” I said, determination pushing me forward. Just as we leaped across the bridge, a familiar voice rang out behind us.

“Hey, watch out! That’s not the real me!” Luffy shouted.

“Wait, what was that, Luffy?” I asked, my heart racing as we landed. I took a good look at the Luffy in front of us and noticed something was off—his stance, his aura. Even his scar on his right cheek was off. 

I fumbled through my bag, pressing the three gems on my sword to expand it once more. The familiar energy coursed through me.

“Y/N, what are you doing?! We have to run!” Nami urged, panic creeping into her voice.

“This guy isn’t Luffy!” I declared “What are you talking about? Y/N, it’s me, Luffy!” he insisted, taking a step forward.

I pointed my sword at him, the tip aimed squarely at his heart. “You’re not Luffy... you’re his mirror image.” A smirk spread across my face as I pieced it together.

“You guys run! I’ll stay!” I yelled, adrenaline surging through me.

“Don’t be crazy!” Nami shouted, eyes wide with fear.

“We don’t have much of a choice—now go!” I commanded, noticing Chopper and Carrot hesitate along with Nami.

“Now why don’t you come out?” I taunted, my grip tightening on the sword.

“So you finally figured it out.” The figure grinned, a twisted smile spreading across its face. Luffy lunged at me, but I dodged smoothly to the side.

“This forest is a living nightmare!” said Nami, frustration seeping into her tone.

“We call this place the Seducing Woods,” the figure revealed, fully transforming before my eyes. I smirked, ready for the fight. “I knew it.” Suddenly, the figure made its way towards Nami, grabbing her.

“Nami!” I yelled again, my heart racing as Brulee’s grip tightened around her throat. Panic coursed through my veins, and I felt a surge of protective instinct.

“Who are you?!” Chopper shouted, his wide eyes reflecting his fear.

“Oh, you don’t know? You’ve been together this whole time, and together we will stay because you are never leaving this forest!” Brulee taunted, her voice dripping with malicious glee. “Perhaps in a coffin!”

I had to think fast. “Chopper, Carrot, we need a plan!” I said, trying to keep my voice steady despite the chaos unfolding.

“Are you Tia a tree?! Well!” Carrot yelled, her defiance shining through her fright.

“I’m Brulee! I am not a damn tree!” the figure snapped back, annoyance flashing across her face.

“Listen, Branch, why don’t you just set Nami down? You don’t want to mess with us!” I demanded, trying to project confidence even as dread gnawed at me.

Brulee remained silent for a moment, eyeing each of us as if assessing our worth. “A cute rabbit, a deer, and... you!” she said, her gaze settling on me with an unsettling intensity.

“You’re Y/N, the one who’s supposed to marry a Vinsmoke,” she cackled, laughter echoing through the trees.

“What does that have to do with you? Just let her go!” I shot back, fury boiling within me as I gripped my sword tighter, feeling its familiar power thrumming beneath my fingers.

Brulee's eyes glinted with malicious delight. “You see, when I see such pretty faces, I can hardly help myself. I want to scratch them up!”

Her nails dug into Nami’s face, and I felt a surge of rage pulse through me.

[sugarepoxy]

@leafatlaw WISH GRANTED

If we're talking jay headcannons, here are some of my favorites:

When jay laughs she usually wheezes like crazy; this prompts more laughter from the rest of the crew because of how silly it sounds

She teaches gillion about space and stars some nights on the boat and every once in a while chip joins in and tells gill about the little bits of mythology he knows surrounding them (wich he learned from finn)

She has doctor handwriting

Jay and Ava used to braid each others hair as they fell asleep, and now jay is teaching Gill how to braid his own hair

Also i have A TON of headcannons for gill and chip, so here are some of those too:

Chip makes up outrageous lies when people ask how he got any of his scars

The way Arlin laughs rubbed off on chip and his laugh is also really hearty and deep-ish

Chip burnt all of his fingerprints off on a dare

Chip's handwriting is chickenscratch and almost completely illegible

Chip is VERY prone to laughing and gigglin. Half the time his gigglin is what gives him away when hes doing stealthy crime

Gill learned swears from Chip

Gill is SUPER attached to his hair and refuses to cut it because in the undersea he was forced to keep it chin length

Gill has long and sharp nails, almost like talons

Gill has scars that have been on him for ages, like since he was 10 years old

Gill can't write or read common, and jay and chip are trying to teach him

common is gill's second language, primordial being his first

Gill has aphantasia

Gillion learned rhythm and beats and basic music concepts from edyn before the elders stopped him from seeing her. In his training, gill would try and move/attack to a beat he made up in his head. He would constantly daydream about music and make up different tunes in his head

Gill is always unknowingly tensed up as his "relaxed" position

And finally, here are some NPC headcannons:

Niklaus gets ahold of the anti-Niklaus propaganda and he PROUDLY shows it off in his pocket dimension. Like he even makes "say no to Niklaus" merch for himself

Ollie still has stretch marks from when he big

Jay, chip, and queen workshop with gillion and make little tunes and shanties in their downtime

Edyn is EXTREMELY fucking tall. She absolutely towers over everyone

Ollie weaves and he makes bracelets out of handmade beads and he draws and he fills up sketchbooks with little doodles of himself and his mom and the pirates and his mom hangs his drawings up on the fridge. He also has a small business of making baskets for townsfolk in zero (sorry abt the run on sentence in this one lmao)

Ollie loves to braid his hair because the captains taught him how

I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS MASS AMOUNT OF BRAINROT :D i love when people ask abt my headcannons so i took the opportunity and RAN

[oidheadh-con-culainn]

psa about book piracy

the publishing industry does not work like the film/tv industry or whatever other industries you’ve decided make piracy a victimless crime. it does actively and directly hurt authors

many authors are paid an “advance”. this is occasionally large, but more frequently is small (~£2k) and even more frequently is somewhere in the middle (~£10k). this may be the only payment they receive for what is frequently years of work. in order to earn any royalties, they need to sell enough books to ��earn out” (make the publisher back the money they spent on the advance). if they don’t earn out, they will never get royalties. also, the advance for their next book will probably be smaller.

if their book is part of a series, later books in the series may be cancelled because the first book didn’t sell well enough

even if a book isn’t cancelled, the print run may be reduced (=how many copies are printed) which means the book will be in fewer bookshops which mean there are fewer opportunities for it to sell copies

all of that conspires to mean... the author’s next advance is smaller, a series gets cancelled before it’s finished, and generally you have fucked over the person whose work you were stealing

(if they have earned out already, it may not directly fuck over their future books as much, but you are directly taking royalties out of their pocket, so)

if you’ve ever been mad because the 3rd book in a trilogy you were reading never got published, it’ll be because the first two didn’t sell enough. maybe the market was wrong at the time, maybe they took a while to take off, or maybe -- and increasingly frequently -- it’s because too many people pirated them instead of buying them.

(this is also why waiting until a series is complete to buy any of them is more likely to result in the series never being complete. the publishers need to know it’s a good investment. better to buy the books and wait to read them, if you’re concerned about cliffhangers, than to refrain from buying them entirely.)

“but the book is still there after i download it so i haven’t technically stolen anything” read the above bullet points again and understand that what you have stolen is not the book per se, it’s the sale, and therefore the goodwill with the publisher that makes them buy that author’s future books and pay that author money

do not @ me about “but what if it’s the only way to access english-language books in your country” because that is not the situation i’m talking about or the majority situation in the general scheme of things. 90% of people who pirate books do so either because they don’t realise it hurts authors or they don’t give a shit

also if your justification is that authors are “rich” i would like to point out that a recent report showed average earnings for an author in the uk to be £10.5k/yr in 2018. that is substantially below minimum wage (for full-time work), so genuinely, fuck off with that

you have no idea what somebody else’s financial situation is, and i know several authors who have been told to their faces that it was okay to pirate from them because they were rich when those people were in fact struggling to make ends meet

(not to mention that authors are technically self employed which means no benefits; this is particularly challenging in countries without universal healthcare)

whatever bullshit “net worth” estimate you’ve found online or whatever bears absolutely no resemblance to most people’s financial reality

so if you think you’re being clever by only targeting authors you’ve decided are wealthy, consider that there’s a high chance you’re wrong

yes books are expensive and yes big publishing companies are the ones seeing most of the benefit of that. but it’s not the big publishing companies that get hurt when you steal them, because they just squeeze that money out of the authors instead to make up their bottom line. does it suck as a system? obviously! does that make piracy a good way to resist it? no, because it only hurts the people on the bottom

some people think that piracy doesn’t affect sales. it does. it has been demonstrated over and over again that piracy impacts sales (see maggie stiefvater’s experiment with the raven king for an example). “it’s helping people discover the books” doesn’t hold up to scrutiny. all an author gains from this is more people who will steal from them. exposure doesn’t pay the bills. exposure just kills ya.

many places have libraries. libraries benefit authors, because they buy books. in some countries, like the UK, authors receive money based on how many times their books are borrowed. libraries frequently offer ebooks, so if you’re not able to access them in-person you can still get books. libraries are good! if you can use your local library, you should. free books for you, without fucking over the creators. you can often request books that they don’t carry, which then means that other people also get to read that book.

(“my library doesn’t carry queer books” i sympathise and i realise it can be challenging to request those in a conservative area but also consider that books by marginalised authors are exactly the ones that publishers will yeet if they think they’re not making a return on their investment, so unfortunately, pirating those is extra bad. publishers will drop “risky” shit like a hot potato if it’s not making them money. those are exactly the books we need to show up for.)

obviously in an ideal world we would have UBI or whatever and therefore people’s ability to put food on the table would not be dependent on monetising creative pursuits but that’s not the world we live in. in the world we live in, writing is work and work deserves to be paid for. stealing people’s labour because you feel entitled to it is not more justifiable just because that labour is creative.

the fact that people write as a hobby does not negate the challenges of writing as a profession. the two are actually pretty different. writing as a hobby isn’t easy, but writing as a profession has a whole heap of extra behind-the-scenes work that you don’t see, in case you’re tempted to take the “but it’s not real work” argument. besides which, “but people do it for free on the internet” is a shitty reason not to pay people for their work.

if you can’t afford a particular book, that sucks, i often cannot afford a book i would like. the solution: read other books that you can afford / which your library does carry / which are out of copyright. not: steal the book because obviously you should have whatever you want whenever you want it.

don’t be a dick

stealing screws authors over 

in conclusion: stop trying to justify piracy in my notes or in the replies to authors who complain about it. stop telling authors to their face that you don’t value their work and their time. it’s not cool, it’s not clever, it’s not revolutionary. it’s just fucking over people who are already underpaid and living precariously.

[popculturebuffet]

Pirate Month Patreon: Our Flag Means Death: "Pilot" Review (Patreon Review for Emma Fici)

Yo ho all you happy people! Pirate Month continues.. somehow. With some. The last few weeks have been rough seas, but pirate month sails on. And ironically, into the waters of HBO Max

Yeah after my shockingly popular rant last week, seriously any of you following or coming in from that or just in general

It's great to have you. But yes we're back to the dumpster fire that was once one of the proudest and best streaming services around but is now a self canablizing nightmare that won't go away. I've went from hoping any adaptation went here to hoping many flee in terror and praying some still actually get made. You used to hear me constantly singling disney out for their idiocy

But this somehow tops most of what they've ever done. These shows MIGHT return or someone else might be able to save the company, but for now we're just stuck praying anything we care about dosen't get cannonballed into oblivion and left where it's avaliablity is tenious at best. So why am I reviewing something from the network at the worst possible moment? Simple.. this was planned before. Emma has a busy schedule, so she tends to pick her patreons late unless I ask early, and being a forgetful sort, I can tend to. She's GOOD at it, with her picks having had me review incest civil war laser tag, badly animated sci fi nonsense and this glory

So it was only pure Parker Luck that HBO Max decided to canablize their animation for profit the same week I was set to cover this. But I realized something important: With access uncertain, with HBO max striking randomly and insanely, and with no safe harbor... I have to get off my ass and watch stuff that may be destroyed as soon as the next season is out, and as we've seen with Summer Camp Island it can happen BEFORE too, instead of waiting. Sure this project having a high profile creator attached, being a very high profile queer work , and having a huge fanbase MIGHT be a enough.. but given Logic and tact haven't really entered into this current dumbfuckery, it's best to see the series and review an episode NOW rather than wait and loose it in a tax writeoff next year after season 2.

So several paragraphs and f-you's later, we arrive at our real destination: Our Flag Means Death. And this really has been one i've been meaning to check out for some time: It's produced by Taika Watiti, whose lately become one of my faviorite creators: He's director of the all time cinematic classics What We Do In The Shadows and JoJo rabbit and the fun as hell Thor films Ragnarok and Love and Thunder, and created the excellent What We Do In The Shadows tv show, which is also on the pile. Feel free to boo I know I am, i'm missing peak Matt Berry by being behind on it, as well as producing another show i've heard nothing but good things about, Reservation Dogs. The guy is a genius so while he isn't writer or director here, and his character Blackbeard isn't in this pilot, he clearly picks projects he puts his name on very carefully and if he's remotely involved with something, it's usually a good sign it's awesome. Add in Rhys Dharby who I first fell in love with on flight of the conchords as Murray...

And while he could've easily stopped with this cult classic I also need to watch (I mostly followe dit via music videos when it was airing and haven't watched it despite having easy access since max launched because i'm stupid and forget it's there), he has since made a sizeable name for him as a voice actor. Seriously while he mostly plays smaller parts he's popped up in TONS of shows since the late 2010's, from Milo Murphy's Law, RIP, to Rise of the TMNT , also RIP, to shows that aren't dead probably. He's played warthogs, snowflakes, gay hypo's, evil pistachios and more but really hasn't as far as I can tell been a leading man in anything. He was important to FOTC, but this seems like the first time the guy has REALLY been let loose and thus that was a huge draw for me.

And i'm happy to say that even before it hits it's peak and becomes a gay love story involving blackbeard, something I didn't know I needed and can't wait to hit as I watch more episodes, Our Flag Means death is an instant classic from the pirate and has finally given Rhys the meaty starring role he's always been capable of. The show is everything I hoped for.

While most of you reading this are likely fans of the show already, a quick refresher for those who aren't as familiar, i.e. Emma most likely: Our Flag Means Death follows Stede Bonnet, based on the real life pirate I know nothing about of the same name, a posh aristocrat who fled his old life to become a pirate, and is trying to clean up piracy a bit: He pays his men wether their succesful or not, and built his ship, the awesomely named The Revenge, with a sauna, rec area, and a personal library he'd be glad to lend out to the crew if any of them besides his assitant, the equally posh Lucius, played by Nathan Foad. Like a large chunk of the cast, i've never heard of him but like said chunk, he's excellent so it really dosen't matter. Steed does compensate by reading the pirates a story every night, as of the pilot Pinnochio. He's essentially trying to run this pirate ship like a modern work place, basically if Micheal Scott and Leslie Knope got combined in some horrible teleporter accident and became a pirate, having the bad need to be loved and have a family and be liked as the other, but like the latter having some compietence, optiism and good intentions, just being too naive to realize how hard ti's going to be to get these through.

Unlike other work coms though, the crew can actually kill their boss if he annoys them too much and the pilot centers around that, with the crew preparing a mutiny, with the only ones not being on board as much being Oluwande, played by Samson Kayo, a kind sort whose fond of the captain even if he's not the best and Jim, a seeming mute great with knives played by Vico Ortiz.. who turns out to be nonbinary. Which is good for me I got spoiled on that as it means I won't get any prounounds long. Though none of the crew is bad, it's just how change is: the rest simply can't accept that stede's way of doing things is PROBABLY better and he just needs to grow into the position, with Oluwande being the only one aware that not only is this much better.. but that it's so rare it' sbest to enjoy it while he lasts. Hey I said he appriacates the captain, I didn't say he was in denial about Stede's odds of survivial. Leading the mutiny is the lisping Black Pete (Matthew Maher) , a wannabe tough guy who claims to have been on blackbeards boat and won't shut up about it and the Jerry from Parks and Rec looking Kristian Nairin as Wee John, a giant who wants to burn things. Naturally I love him.

So to offset the mutiny after several small insignifigant raids, Stede targets the biggest/only ship they can see and with Buttons conformation the crew gets ready to have a bloody good time gettin good and bloody.. but Stede has a full on Panic Attack as we flash back to his past. And this is where the show really got me. See I throughly enjoyed it and was on board to this point, the jokes were that kind of goofy creative type of humor I enjoy from Stede telling everyone to "look scary' to the crew only not killing him at the moment because he's one of the only two people who can read, the only one who can do the voices and they want to know how Pinocchio ends, and Stede deciding the best way to help with disatsifaction at first is a flag design contest. It's truly my kind of show.

But what takes it from really good to great is making stede far more complex than he appears. Don't get me wrong, I don't mind a work just being a goofy comedy. That's fine by me and Producer Watiti did wonders with that with What We Do In The Shadows, which had moments of pathos but was mostly just the story of a bunch of goofy vampires in new zeland and their dark bidding on the interent.

So series creator and showrunner David Jenkins could've kept at that and i'd of been fine.. but he took it one step further without undercutting the wacky tone entirely, which can be tricky but he pulls off well. From here we start seeing pieces of Stede's old life.. and it was miserable. The first flashback here has a butcher working for the family slaughter an animal in front of the kid, tell him not to look away then mock him for being soft.

Which is thinly coded as people bullying him for coming off gay. Spoilers, Stede turns out to be VERY gay., but it's always a dickish thing to do to bully someone for being diffrent and to be a homophobic twitsandwitch.

But we see through later flashbacks in teh ep Stede never fit in: He was bullied at school, chased, called slurs and then had his hands tied to oars and forced to row and at home there was literal distance between him and his family... no seriously he sat at one end while his family sat at the other

Stede was an outsider in his own home, his own LIFE, never accepted by anyone it seemed (other episodes may prove this wrong) and even now trying to find a new family, he's not really accepted. While the metaphor there given Stede is also a gay man and a not tradtionally masculine man, is subtle a knife to the eye, it still works because it dosen't overshadow the story but plays into it. Stede is not conventional.. yet he's a good man and while he may not be a good pirate YET his ideas aren't bad and he has his heart in the right place. I mean until someone cuts it out and holds it up as a trophy but for now he's trying to do the right thing he's just out of his depth. BUt he had no real other options: He coudln't get a divorce, given the century, his family , both immedite and other clearly never got him.. leaving to be a pirate, to try ANYTHING else is better than dying on the inside. He also uses the money he came from well: He gives his men a good wage, a tidy ship, and plenty of supplies. Odds are it'll run out.. but he's trying to do something better and more rich people coudl take a note from this fictional gay pirate and try and be better instead of hoarding wealth or cutting people's lifes works from a platform for 2.50 and an expired free pizza cupon.

Turns out though the ship.. is a HEAVILY armed royal naval warship and our heroes only don't die horribly because the Captain, Nigel Badmitton, a gloriously pompus name, is one of Stede's old bullies and thus dosen't buy the rumors that Stede is a pirate and Stede is able to quickly hide the crew as fellow aristocrats and servants.

The meal though is .. uncomfortable. Not only are the pirates naturally not really happy in the roll of high society snobs, but Badmittons crew are a bunch of racist twits who are unplesant to be around, and Badmittion himself a snobby bully who fondly recalls that incident with the oars I mentioned while the rest of the crew slowly get that "Okay this guy is a dumbass but he's OUR dumbass. " Things naturally break down once Stede is forced to humor badmittion and after one joke too many and Badmittion LAUGHIGN at the idea he could be a pirate, Stede tries braining him with a move Oluwande taught him.. and accidently makes the guy fall on his saber and into his eye

While the rest of the crew has a nice bloody massacre of most of Badmittions men after one's a racist to Oluwande starting with jim throwing a knife through a hand. While we don't see it, by the time Stede gets back to them only two are left alive and he's panicking over the corpse, not ready to have really killed someone, and only accepting it because Oluwande helps him, knowing that admitting to killing the guy will help the crew respect Stede.. which it does. Stede cements he can be badass for more than just accidedental murders by giving the one person they send back the same punishment his now dead captain gave Stede, showing that while Stede is out of his element, has clear trauma and may not be happy killin, which is a fair choice.. he's still got what it takes and thus his crew decides he can live for now. Also Jim's not a man OOOOO ALREADY SPOILED IT, and we end on a really nice bit: it being clear no matter how bad it was stede misses his family and treis to convince himself he's got a new one.. and him reading the crew pinoccio. Never has Rhys Darby reading a bunch of grown men to sleep been so touching.

So yeah Our Flag Means Death, at least the pilot is fucking fantastic. I don't know why the creators previous show failed: this one has style, humor and suprising tragedy, and excells at what it's producer does well: taking a mildly goofy but cool genre and poking fun at it while taking it JUST seriously enough to ground it. Our Flag Means Death is everything I hoped for and more and I highlyr ecommend watching it before it possibly burns. These are uncertain times.. but with Rhys Darby as a gay pirate... they might have some good times hidden in them too.

[emma-nation]

The Devil In I - Bela x OC (Resident Evil Village AU)

“Step inside, see the Devil in I”

Summary: Aleena Novak is a 19 years old orphan who desired more than living in a village in the middle of nowhere. A talented artist with a big future ahead, she gets the scholarship of her dreams in United States. But everything changes when her twin brother, Auryk, steals an important artifact from Castle Dimitrescu.

In this adventure, Aleena will find way more than she expected.

“You’ll realize I’m not your Devil anymore”

Pairing: Bela Dimitrescu x OC

Genre: Between T and M (Trigger warning for violence, blood, abuse and eventual smut)

Tag List: @nydeiri

Notes: This is my first RES fic, so I'm sorry if I mess it up a bit. English is also not my main language, so a mistake or two may happen. I hope you enjoy it :)

Trigger Warning: Language, abuse, blood and violence.

Eastern Europe - July, 2009

"If he could learn to love another and earn her love in return by the time the last petal fell, then the spell would be broken. If not, he would be doomed to remain a beast for all time. As the years passed he fell into despair and lost all hope. For who could ever learn to love a beast?"

Mother closed the book, placing it on the bedside table between Auryk's bed and mine. Then, she lowered herself and kissed my forehead like she did every night. Her long, blonde hair tickled my face and left a trace of her sweet lavender fragrance in the air. I giggled.

"Good night, sweetheart," she spoke.

"Good night, momma."

"Cherish your last night as a six years old. Tomorrow you will become a..."

"Princess?!"

"A seven years old girl. The prettiest girl in the village."

"Pffft," Auryk let out a displeased grunt from his bed, covering his head with the pillow to avoid listening another word from the conversation.

"And you too," mother sat by his side on the bed and repeated her nightly ritual of kissing his forehead to wish him a good night too. "You'll become the most handsome and brave warrior in this village. Do you understand?"

"I hope so. Good night, mom."

"Good night, buddy."

Mother left the room, leaving us both in the dark. However, we couldn't sleep. Not because we were thrilled about our incoming birthday party as any regular child, but because we knew our lives were about to change. Seven years old was the age every child from our village was introduced to the truth and started being trained to fight the evil that haunted our lands. Auryk and I spent minutes, or maybe hours, in silence, staring at the ceiling.

"Leena?" He was the first one to speak. "Do you believe a spell can broken? I mean, like a curse?"

"I don't know, Ryk," I answered, feeling my thoughts starting to drift away. "Maybe we're doomed after all. Or... we could learn how to love the beasts."

The birthday parties always happened during the daytime, rules of the village. We could no longer be outside after 6 PM. Mother got help from the other women to prepare the treats and organize the decorations. Auryk was disguised as a pirate and I... I was Belle, from the Beauty and the Beast.

"So, what do you think you will be getting this year?" My best friend Elena asked while we were playing with our dolls. She was about two years older than us.

"I don't know," I shrugged. Being a merchant, my father always returned home with the most unusual gifts: a magical music box, a voodoo doll that had a life on its own or a fragrance that chased away the monsters - and everybody else too. "A new book. I'm hoping for a new book."

It was only by the end of the party Adrian Novak made his entrance. That was the mystery about him. Nobody knew when he would show up, or if he would show up at all. He still had that same annoying smirk on his face. The corner of his mouth holding a cigarette. The months away made his beard grow longer, as well as his dark hair. In the sunlight, the scar above his eye was even more visible.

"Auryk," he shouted, "come here, son. I've got something for ya."

My twin brother, who had been climbing trees with his friends stop frozen in spot for a second. I couldn't tell if he hated or feared that man. Maybe both. He slowly followed father's command, approaching him cautiously.

"Hi, dad."

"Happy birthday, son," father ruffled his dark straight hair with his strong and calloused hand. "It's about time you grow up."

He handed my brother a large package. From our experience, we knew exactly what it was, a shotgun.

"T-Thank you, dad."

"I'll be spending some time at home. Tomorrow we'll start practicing."

Auryk consented. He shot me a quick glance. From our twin bond I could tell my brother was far from happy. When he blew his candles that afternoon, he didn't wish for a weapon. We wished to be a normal child.

"What did you get, Leena?" He asked once we were locked in the safety of our bedroom.

"Pencils and a drawing book. Dad thinks I'm talented."

Not really. Adrian Novak would never allow his daughter to hold a shotgun. That was, according to him, 'a man thing'.

"Good, at least one of us got what they wanted. Happy birthday, sister."

"Happy birthday, brother."

4 Years Later - October, 2013

It wasn't easy to be the weakest of the twins. Although he was born first, Auryk was the tinniest. The one who was always getting sick or getting injured. The one who couldn't hit a single fucking target when he had the alcoholic breath of his father on his neck.

He aimed for a crow, sitting still on a fence. How hard could it be? Even the eldest man from the village could do any better than that.

BANG! He shot again. And missed.

"Again?!" Adrian angered, shoving him hard on the shoulder. "What the hell is your problem, kid?"

"I don't know, okay? This gun... it's heavy!"

"Heavy? And why do you think we've been exercising for all these years, huh?! We do not live in Disneyland, Auryk. We need to fight monsters, abominations. Someday I won't be home and you need to be prepared to protect our people. Do you understand?"

Tears started forming in the corners of the boy's blue eyes. He couldn't cry. Not in front of him. Crying was a sign of weakness and he couldn't be weak. Not right now. Auryk started to think about all the things he could be doing. He thought about the ocean, as he had seen on TV and books. He could feel the warmness of the sun on his skin. The sand between his toes. His mom and sister were also there, of course - they'd carry them with him everywhere. And he would study Math and Physics. There would be no guns, no monsters, no blood, only numbers, only formulas, only theories. He smiled. He no longer felt like crying.

"I'm sorry, dad," kindness was always the answer, his mother said. "But this isn't for me, you know? I don't like it. I... Remember that boarding school my teacher mentioned? I thought maybe I..."

His words were interrupted by a hard slap on his face. Auryk could taste a small amount of blood coming out from his lower lip.

"So that's what you want? To become one of those little fancy fags? Maybe you're not my son after all."

Adrian started walking away, leaving his son alone, sitting on the floor.

"I AM!" Auryk yelled, enraged. "I am your son."

"Then prove it."

"You shouldn't take so hard on him," Savannah poured her husband a cup of tea. "He's just a boy."

"He's eleven years old, for god's sake," the husband punched the table strong enough to make it shake. "He needs to man up a bit. You should stop spoiling him."

As I left my bedroom I found my brother sitting on the stairs. He didn't have to be so close to listen to the conversation between our parents, father's voice was loud enough to echo through every wall of our small and cozy home.

I sat down by his side, wrapping an arm around his shoulders.

"Maybe you should do it, Leena. You'd do it better, I know."

"I'm not so sure. Remember when I tried to shoot a scarecrow and almost shot that old witch?"

"Come on, you aimed on purpose! I know."

Auryk finally let out a small laugh at the memory.

"You're good at everything, Leena," he spoke fondly. "You're an extrovert, you're everybody's friend, you can cook, you can draw and paint... you're a true artist. I'm a mistake."

"You're not a mistake, Ryk," I pulled my brother closer, resting my cheek against the side of his face. "We're only at the wrong place and you know it."

Going back to our bedroom, we pulled from the drawers the postcards our grandma Louise sent us from San Diego. Mom had been born in California and lived there her entire life, until she met father during one of his trips. God knows what made her fall in love with that man. Adventure? Danger? I expected better from myself when I turned eighteen. Otherwise, I'd never want to fall in love. Love could be my ruin, just like my mom's.

"Leena..." Auryk held the postcard tightly, "do you think... if he died... do you think mom would take us to nana's home?"

"I don't know, Ryk," I didn't want to think of my father's possible death. But I also dreamed of a better life. "Maybe."

"What the hell?" Father's voice in the kitchen made me jump in fear. I knew that tone. I grew up used to that. Something was wrong in the village. We had to hide.

"To the basement, now!" He emerged at the bedroom, holding a rifle. "Lycans were seen surrounding the area."

We barely had any time to react, mom came and dragged us both to the basement. Father left, carrying his arsenal of weapons as usual. There were other hunters in the village but we always knew how badly it could end. Somebody could always get seriously hurt. Or worse.

The basement had been carefully prepared for that kind of situation years before. It had a big bed, two armchairs, a heating source, some stored food and a shelf. Mom sighed and forced a smile.

"So," she walked to the shelf, "what is it going to be today?"

"Frankenstein," Auryk suggested. My brother loved mystery and horror. As if his life hadn't enough of it.

"Romeo and Juliet," I spoke. There was something about forbidden romance that always caught my interest.

"Okay. I... I'm gonna say a prayer and you two can read the books you picked by yourselves. What do you think?"

"Great!"

Mom kneeled down by the bed's side, holding a crucifix. I could join her if I wanted to, but I'd rather watch in silence. I grabbed my book, sitting on one of the armchairs and pretending to pay attention, while I tried to distract myself from the fact my father could be the Lycans' next prey. Or all of us, if they managed to break into our house.

"Leena?" I woke up hours later with my mom shaking me. "Leena?! Where's Auryk? Where's your brother, Leena?"

I had no idea. I had fallen asleep and apparently, so did mom. She checked for the basement's door, it had been locked from outside.

"No..." she tried to force it open. "No! I can't be..."

All Auryk had to do was to successfully kill and take a Lycan's carcass as a trophy to his father, right? That was what that old douchebag wanted him to do, to prove his courage, his manhood. We had his shotgun, a binoculars and a knife, that should be enough, but first, he needed a good plan.

Looking down to his hands, he had the most perfect idea. Without thinking twice, he sliced a cut through his palm, letting some blood pour on the ground. Then, he found a tall tree. He climbed it and observed. The smell of blood his trail left behind should be enough to attract a creature.

"Come on... come on..."

From a distance, Auryk could hear the sound of destruction and death. There was a battle going on somewhere nearby. Once again Lycans should have found a family or a group of hunters.

And then, he could hear it. The heavy footsteps, the screeching sounds, the sniffing. The mutant creature was only a few meters away from the tree. He aimed, but it was still too distant. He needed to move to a closer branch.

It all happened in one second. He was almost there, reaching for the spot he had picked, but his weight was too much for the tree's branch. In a blink of an eye, he was lying on the ground. His vision was blurred. His head hurt intensely, as well as his arm. It was broken for sure. He possibly had a concussion too. He tried to stand up and run but his legs wouldn't follow his commands. The Lycan was coming straight at him.

"AURYK!" His mother screamed behind him. "NO!"

Time seemed to freeze in that fraction of second. How did she manage to escape the basement? How could she have found him?

But without hesitation, Savannah threw herself on top of her son, protecting him from the jaws and claws of the monster. Auryk couldn't see much, but he could smell it. He could feel it. Blood. There was blood everywhere. He couldn't tell who it belonged to, he or his mom's.

BANG! BANG! BANG!

A fast sequence of shots suggested the hunters had found them. The creature stopped moving, stopped howling. It was finally dead.

"M-Mom... it's dead. We... We're safe."

She didn't answer. Instead, he heard another familiar voice.

"WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT?!" It was from his father. "Savannah! Savannah!"

"D-Dad..." Auryk tried to speak, but the words got lost along the way. "I... I..."

Adrian lifted him by his jacket, holding him inches above the ground.

"YOU KILLED HER! YOU KILLED YOUR MOM, YOUR STUPID BASTARD!"

"I..." tears streamed down the boy's face, his injured brain trying to process what had just happened. "I'm sorry.'

After he was thrown back to the ground, he was hit with a hard kick on his stomach. He turned his head around to notice a small figure hiding behind a tree, watching the whole scene in pure horror.

"L-Leena..." he muttered.

"This is all your fault, Auryk. You're a disgrace to this family."

And then, he passed out. Rumors said he was unconscious for days or maybe weeks. When he woke up, he wished everything had been a nightmare.

Present Days - July, 2021

Nobody mourned Adrian Novak when he died. Not his children. Not his village mates. No human being would ever feel any sympathy for a man who abused and blamed his eleven years old son for his mother's death. It had been two years since Adrian left this world and I couldn't feel any more free.

"Hey," I left another message on my brother's voicemail, "in case you've forgotten it's our birthday today. I'd like to have my twin home, you know? Call me when you get this message."

It was useless, I knew. Auryk would only pick up his phone when he wanted to. Or when he was too drunk. God knew where that guy would be at that time, probably waking up at some girl's bed or getting some rest from... working.

After grabbing myself a cup of coffee, I checked the door's mat. Bills, bills, newspaper and... California Institute Of Arts? I remember having an argument with Auryk about this matter at some point. He wanted me to fill the application and send them my portfolio. I insisted we had no money, not even to pay for the tuition. I won - I always win every argument by the way.

"Your damn son of a..." I placed the envelope on the kitchen's table. I was a coward, I confess. However, I didn't know which pain was worse - to be sure I wasn't good enough or to be sure I was, indeed, but I'd never have money to leave that hellhole. Anyways, I decided to leave it alone. I had more important things to do.

My morning routine: to go to the middle of the woods and do some training. My father used to say fighting wasn't a girl thing, but I was no regular girl. And never in this life I'd allow someone to tell me what to do.

After running, climbing and doing a set of push-ups, it was time for combat training. Travelers from abroad taught me some different set of moves, I'd like to think I created my own fighting style. I was also very good with knifes, daggers or any kinds of short blades, they were useful during a close distance combat. My shooting was a work in progress, once or twice I'd miss the center of my handmade targets.

Then, like everyday, I'd go back home, shower and follow to my shift at the village's pub.

"Hiya, Leena," Gustav greeted me when I arrived. "I heard today is a special day... the day a little girl..."

"NO!" I stopped him. Gustav was my best friend. We had known each other since we were children and somehow, he liked to make my birthday a special - and embarrassing - event.

He placed a handmade fairytale-like book on the table. There were some edited pictures, mixed with some messed up drawings about my birth and childhood. He called it 'The Princess Who Carried The Light'.

"God, you're soooo stupid..." I rolled my eyes and moaned, before wrapping him into a very tight hug. "I love you, you know that?"

"I know. You'd probably marry me, if you weren't into girls."

We laughed together, as Olga, our boss emerged from the kitchen, bringing a cake with nineteen candles.

"Here's to another year," the older woman opened a wrinkled smile, "make a wish, my darling."

I fell pensive for a moment, besides having my twin brother back home, safe and sound, what else could I wish for? California, that scholarship, a new life... that's for sure.

"I wish for... a new life, a new adventure," I pronounced aloud while blowing the candles.

"Careful," a male voice spoke behind me, "words have power, little sister. You may get what you want."

"Ryk!"

I jumped straight to my brother's arms. I could swear that in only a few weeks he had gotten a little bit taller, and stronger too.

"I wouldn't miss my own birthday, right?" He smirked. "So, where's the cake? Please, chocolate... tell me it's chocolate."

"Your silly boy," Olga spread some icing on his nose. "Of course it's chocolate, as you love. And with cherries too."

Auryk responded with a satisfied smile. Olga and her husband, Kristoff, were those responsible for taking care of him after the Lycan attack, years ago. They sort of adopted him like one of their biological children.

"Oh!" The woman exclaimed taking a closer look at Ryk's forearm. He had gotten a tattoo. I hadn't been informed of those news either. Apparently, my brother had more secrets than I could even start to imagine. "This is... new. It seems like my kids are really growing up."

"And only now you noticed that, Olga?" Gustav joked.

Olga shook her head, grinning at herself and returned to the kitchen. The customers were starting to fill the pub. I stared at Ryk again, wondering what other secrets my brother could be keeping.

"So, what does that mean?" I pointed to his newly gotten tattoo, a strange and ancient symbol it seemed.

"Protection from the evil. This is what we need the most in our lives, especially in a place like this. What reminds me -" we turned around, taking a small box from the pocket of his jacket. "Your gift."

I took the black velvet box from his hands, it contained a golden necklace with a magenta gemstone as pendant. My blue eyes drowned themselves in the stone. It had a mysterious glow. Something hypnotizing. Something magical.

"Whoa..." was everything my mouth could pronounce. "And I bought you an Astronomy book."

Auryk stood up from his chair and went behind me, taking the necklace from my hands to wear it around my neck himself.

"This is supposed to protect you from any supernatural and inhumane beings. I won't lose you to them, Aleena. Not like I lost mom."

"Ryk, I... I can't even thank you enough."

"You don't have to. Just... stay alive."

First, I was overflowing with happiness. It either had to do with the fact my brother was home, alcohol, or both. Also, Olga should thank me. Most of the costumers of the day only stopped by the bar because of me. They absolutely loved me and knowing it was my birthday, they had to come and see me. A few of them even gave me some extra tips or a small gift, which was even greater.

"Okay, party girl..." Auryk helped me to get inside of the house as I tripped over the door mat. "Time to go to bed now. Don't you think?"

"Come on, Ryk! Have some spirit! You're home, Olga gave me the day off tomorrow, I earned some money..."

"You told Mrs. Hansen you secretly had a crush on her daughter during Middle School, you danced on top of a table, you're gonna get a hangover..."

"Party pooper!"

I threw myself at the couch. Auryk stood in front of me with arms crossed, looking like a father about to give his child a lecture.

"What?!" I yelled. "It's not like you've never been drunk before. Remember when you stole Adrian's..." I started to laugh, remembering the episode.

"When you were going to tell me about this, Leena?" He showed me the envelope. The Art Institute envelope. The one I had been struggling to open.

"Oh! I forgot. My bad, I didn't open it myself yet. I probably didn't get in anyways."

"You did."

I did?

"It's not like we have money to pay for my tuition. Also, how are we supposed to move to California, Ryk? I work at a pub and you..."

"I've gotten more than enough for that. You know that getting out of this place has always been the plan, since we were children. Leena, I've done some big jobs those last few months. I have the money to grant us a comfortable life in California."

"Smuggling, Ryk!" I raised my voice, saying aloud the information that was supposed to be a secret or not. "You've been stealing to grant us this life."

My brother stared at me in silence. I couldn't tell if he felt offended or embarrassed about my words.

"I'm getting out of here, whatever it takes," he ran a hand through his dark hair. "And you are coming with me. In two weeks, we move to United States for your enrollment."

"But..."

What I was trying to protest against? Leaving the village and starting a new life with my brother was everything I always dreamed.

"Look, I promise you," Auryk placed both of his firm hands on my shoulders, "once we settle down, no more smuggling."

"Okay," I sighed. "We leave in two weeks then."

There was a loud knock on the door. Being drunk as I was, I figured out I should have forgotten my purse at the pub. Or it could be a neighbor with some very stupid emergency.

Auryk opened the door and there was a strange looking man standing there. We wore sunglasses and a hat, behind his back he was carrying a giant hammer. According to the rumors and stories I heard from my parents, that was one of the Lords of The Four Houses, Karl Heisenberg.

"Auryk Novak?" He asked.

"Yes, sir."

"Come with me, kid. You've gotten yourself in big trouble."

[colour-outside-the-liness]

Hey, I'm doing good too. Just normal amounts of stressful stuff right now. Just moved to a country I've never been to before but can't complain, things are not as hard as the last time I did this so. Thanks for asking! Yeah, I saw you posting about some pretty scary health issues before, I'm glad you came out of that alive and hope you're healthier now!

The nerve some people have! Haha I know I would be pissed if people were questioning my intelligence like that especially after a couple of drinks in haha. Though I do like taunting people when I play group games, I'll be like "don't need to try that hard guys, you're gonna lose anyway" just to mess with them or just call people sore losers if they accuse me of cheating haha (they're probably right on the accusations tho). People get real mad sometimes it's kinda funny. 😂

Omg literally laughed out loud reading this! Hahaha, how did you manage to fall over a road sign then end up in a ditch? lol omg hope you didn't get hurt too bad 😂 I was trying to downplay my drunken escapades but since you shared yours I should tell you my worst one:

I was at this summer street party at night and got drunk on something made out of tropical herbs and cachaça (which is about 48% alcohol), drank 3 and a half bottles of that like it was apple juice, made friends with a bunch of strangers in a bathroom queue (who tried to talk to me weeks later but I had no idea who they were), had to be held by my best friend while I peed (mostly missing the toilet), fell in the middle of the street and scraped my knee, threatened this boy who was helping me walk and told him not to try anything funny or I would beat him up, then dragged my friends to the beach and left them shortly after to go make out with my ex, came back with lipstick all over my mouth and chin and when my friends asked what I was doing I said I was just talking to my ex and they were like NO YOU WERE NOT, hahaha then I kissed all my girl friends on a dare and we danced under the full moon, then I told my best friend I had to puke so she took me to the ocean but I changed my mind and happened to step on a dead turtle on the way back and started crying bc of it, but last month my best friend told me it was a rock I had stepped on (I believed it was a dead turtle for 7 years!). Had the worst hangover of my life the next day. ✌️✨

Ah I'm happy you liked it! I've never listened to Six musical before but it sounds fun! I can see why you like it haha made me want to dance around my apartment 💃. And hey if liking musicals is your thing then it's great, I'm sure Hozier will understand if he's not your top artist of the year. 😋 Here's my "damie" Pinterest board if you or anyone else wants to check it out, totally recommend making one if you're a visual person like me!

https://pin.it/UcHVlkq

Oh I could talk about Dani and Jamie forever I think. I love the beast in the jungle speech too and it's so painful to watch, VP delivered that beautifully, but I have to admit I'm always a crying mess from episode 1 when older Jamie starts reciting that song about being sad while waiting for her lover to return, this show is fucking cruel I hate it and love it at the same time hahaha. Omg your mom 😂 but I mean it's truly an honor to be compared to someone like Dani, no? She's really great even if she needs a little help haha (don't we all).

Aaah you're amazing! Thank you so much, I'll read this pirate AU soon!

I used to draw a lot, really loved doing it when I was a kid as I said before, and all throughout adulthood too but I haven't done that in almost a year now bc I've got a bit of a case of burnout I guess, it just takes a lot of effort to do it when it shouldn't be like that at all. I used to do fanart too, for other fandoms. Even made one for Dani x Jamie but ended up not liking how it turned out haha. I've got a lot of respect for writers and fanfic writers also! Yall can make words make sense in really interesting and beautiful ways, build worlds so enthralling I can see them vividly in my head. Writing is such an incredibly fascinating skill to have! And I guess the most important thing is that we enjoy doing these things right? Even if we think we're not particularly good at it.

Anyway, have a lovely weekend! 👋✨

Good I'm glad you're doing great but sorry you're dealing with stressful stuff!! Hope living in a new country goes well for you I'm so jealous that you've lived in different countries I'd love to live somewhere else even if just for s few years!! Awwh thank you so much I definitely came out of it alive and am feeling so much better now thank you I mean I do some pretty ditzy things so when people say it to me it's pretty deserved sometimes, I'm secretly smart and people just don't expect it so I never mind too much haha I might have to start saying the things that you do and just taunting them over it I mean, I usually do win even when they make me answer different questions so I will definitely have to start saying things like that to them Haha I love that you're just like "yeah they're probably right in their accusations" I agree seeing how mad some people get over games and stuff is funny (it's me I'm people I hate loosing games depending on what it is and I am very competitive) So it was very dark and all we had for light was my roommates flashlight on her phone but while we were walking home a friend of ours that lived else where kept texting her to make sure we were still safe (my phone as dead at this point) so while she was texting him her flashlight was facing down and someone had moved this road sign to the footpath and it was on that sits on the floor so while I couldn't see it I walked into it and fell over it but while I feel I grabbed hold of it and flipped with it and fell in a ditch with it on top of me... I was fine and was just laid laughing while my friend looked down at me and in the most northern accent ever just said "get up you dickhead." and helped me off of the floor and then asked if I was okay... and I was so it was all good!! Haha 😂 I love this drunken story that sounds like one hell of a night and is a roller coaster from start to finish!! I'm sorry you thought you had stood on a dead turtle for 7 years though, someone really should've told you that it was just a rock!! But that sounds like my kind of night!! I love nights like that... stories that will last a life time... the only down side is the hangover... luckily I have only ever had one hang over in my life and it wasn't the morning after the road sign fiasco... I felt surprisingly good the morning after that haha 😂 It's such a good musical it's about Henry VIII wives and I just love everything to do with his wives and that musical is so much fun and actually gives a little insight to the lives the six Tudor queens had away from Henry and with him because at school we're mainly just taught about him which sucks!! I loved the Hozier song and am definitely gonna have to listen to more of his stuff!! I love musicals so much I mainly listen to musical soundtracks at the minute- usually, Legally Blonde and Six on repeat haha 😂 Ooo thank you I will definitely check out this Pinterest board thanks for sending it to me!! I could talk about them forever too... since watching Bly Manor my niece has been asking me so many questions about it and I am more than happy to talk to her about it haha!! The beast in the jungle speech just breaks my heart every time I relate to it so much and VP just delivers it so beautifully!! Oh yeah now I know at the beginning that it's older Jamie I am just a wreck the whole show is just so beautiful and heart breaking at the same time I LOVE IT!! Even though it makes me sob- I keep putting myself through it!! I mean, yeah I was happy that she said it Dani is great but it was the way she said it... my mum can be something else sometimes... she said she thought Dani was like me the first time she does the accent when she says "I've fallen quite in love with London" because I just randomly do accents a lot too but it was the way she was like "She needs help... but I like her she reminds me of you" I was just like... "Should I go get help?" I still don't know the answer to my question about if I need help or not but I mean I probably do need it You're welcome I really hope you like it!! It's a

great fic I love it!! Yeah I get that if stuff starts taking too much effort and burns you out you're not gonna wanna keep doing it so it's understandable that you stopped!! I think fan art is great and I really would love to be able to do it myself but I just don't have the skill it takes!! Awwh it's a shame you didn't like the Dani x Jamie one you did I would've loved to have seen it!! Honestly there are so many talented writers out there and when I read their fics I am just in awe of the worlds they have built and the stories they have created we are so blessed in this fandom to have so many amazing writers and so many amazing fics out there Oh yeah definitely its important to enjoy what you do!! I know I love writing and love writing fics for Dani and Jamie so I think I'll be doing it for a while even if I'm not great at it haha Awwh thank you very much I hope you have a great weekend too!! ☺️