#also this weird self segregation of nuerodiverse people sucks

[caprine-bees]

the "lol nuerotypicals are actually the weird ones, imagine asking someone how they are and getting mad at the response" thing makes me so sad. like babes you're just proving the point that you don't actually understand the social interaction and you're taking it at the bare minimum implications.

"Hey, how are you?" Doesnt mean someone doesn't want to hear about your day. They do want to hear about it. Even strangers. Even the waitress. The problem is that the response of "My dog died/ I failed my exam/ I got fired" is out of step of ths rythm. You're stepping ahead of the dance. You aren't giving them a tone tag before the information. "Honestly, not great" or "There's been better days" gives the conversation partner a chance to check in with themselves about what they can handle. If you just throw out your bad day, it takes that agency from them. That's why they get upset. Because they have their own lives and bad days, and they don't always have the bandwith to carry soemone elses bad day with them. They're not upset that they asked and they want you to just say "It's great :)", they're upset that you took their agency from them.

If you do a buffer step, a tone tag, whatever you want to call it, plenty of people will be happy to hear about your day for real life. I've hugged strangers in the supermarket, I've held hands with crying old ladies. But if I was having the worst day of my life and they sprung that on me? That would suck. Just give people a chance to opt out. "I'm sorry to hear that." Is an opt out. "Aww, what happened." Means they are ready to hear it. That's it. It's not that they're asking a fake question. It's that they think they'll be getting a tone buffer and it feels to them like they expected another step on the stairs and their foot comes crashing down onto the floor.