#also this is the first fanvid i've ever made in my life so enjoy

[challengers]

"Do you feel like you're alone, Will? Do you have a soulmate? Somebody who challenges you— I'm talking about someone who opens up things for you; touches your soul. You can't give back to them, you know? You'll never have that kind of relationship in a world where you're always afraid to take the first step, Because all you see is every negative thing ten miles down the road. But you can do anything you want. You are bound by nothing."

[newtxtinaforever]

Everything Has Changed

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All I knew this morning when I woke

Is I know something now, know something now I didn't before

And all I've seen since eighteen hours ago is green eyes and freckles

And your smile in the back of my mind making me feel like

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Tina's POV

What hadn't I encountered in the past forty-eight hours? Upon meeting Mr. Newt Scamander, my already crumbling world was thrown into an even larger pit of chaos. Several people had died, including Credence. I had failed to save him from his adoptive mother and my own co-workers as well, which made me a pretty lousy Auror. After nearly being executed for assisting a criminal, what chance did I have at reclaiming my job?

Thankfully, there was one good thing to come out of all this destruction. Newt and I had become friends through the process of finding his creatures, which turned out to be very different from the kind of connection we shared when we first met. If I've learned anything in the past couple of days, it's that things (people in particular) are not always what they seem. I still found it hard to believe that Graves was Grindelwald in disguise. How long had he pretended to be my former boss? With a horrible feeling in my stomach, I remembered how Graves wiped the mustard off of my lip after I had stormed into the Major Investigative department. It had been Grindelwald all along. I quickly turned my mind to other matters.

All the creatures I had seen recently (not to mention rules I'd broken) made me feel as if I was living someone else's life. Who was this alternate version of myself and where did she come from? Perhaps she had been kept hidden under the surface for so long that she had been forgotten. After all, doing so was necessary in order to perform well at my job. That's why many criminals turned out to be nothing more than normal people who felt as if they had no other choice. They did what they had to do to get the job done.

Then there was Mr. Kowalski. He was simply in the wrong place at the wrong time. Newt's carelessness had hopelessly entangled him into the world I worked so hard to protect, the one that was being threatened by the darkest wizard of all time. Even if Newt's creatures hadn't escaped, there was still the destruction caused by the Obscurus (unfortunately Credence) to deal with. Well, it was dealt with, all right. Enough dwelling on the past, Tina, I scolded myself. It was rare for me to do so, but the past few months had been tough and I could feel myself sinking deeper into a place of hopelessness more than ever before.

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And all I feel in my stomach is butterflies the beautiful kind

Making up for lost time, taking flight, making me feel right

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Despite all that had transpired, I could recognize some sort of light in this continuous tunnel of darkness. Besides meeting Newt, I had been reminded of what it felt like to be an Auror. I wasn't exactly on the right side this time, but the rush of adrenaline felt eerily similar. After playing by the rules for so long, I had experienced a taste of what it was like to be on the run. My mind still had a hard time believing that I had been in such a perilous position. It wasn't every day that I got my own wanted poster.

The past forty-eight hours were definitely impulsive, to say the least. I acted on my instincts, which proved to be right in the end. Thank goodness. I don't know what I'd have done if things had turned out worse than they did. It didn't always work, but sometimes refusing to acknowledge the worst possible outcome allowed me to believe in the more average yet more likely outcomes of any given situation. If I had to describe it, I'd say that dwelling on the worst thing that could happen often made me feel trapped. It made me feel like it was the only option and that there was no hope. Whatever I faced, I had to think positively, something I struggled with considering my childhood.

It's hard to 'think happy thoughts' when your parents die young and you're left alone to raise your younger sister. There was no time for wishful thinking or innocent daydreams, not when someone else depended on me. I clearly remember Queenie leaning against me, her head on my shoulder, asking, "When do you think I'll meet my husband?" I smiled weakly, the direct result of a hardened heart. Tired and a tiny bit irritable (but trying my best not to show it), I replied, "I don't know." There wasn't time for me to fantasize about my future husband (did he even exist?), and it showed.

On the flip side, Queenie thoroughly enjoyed pretending to be the damsel in distress. She could defend herself, don't get me wrong, but she also didn't mind donning a pretty pink dress while I came to her rescue. As much as Queenie enjoyed being the princess, I equally enjoyed playing the role of her savior. After all, guys weren't the only ones with the power to save others. Perhaps it was this specific moment in time that sealed my fate. The day our parents died, it seemed like the whole world had fallen on my shoulders. So I did what I had always done best: taking care of others.

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Come back and tell me why

I'm feeling like I've missed you all this time

And meet me there tonight

And let me know that it's not all in my mind

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"Come on, Teenie. Please?" my sister whined. "Alright, I'll go" came my reluctant response. Every part of me wanted to stay home and spend some time alone yet I knew how important this Valentine's Day dance was to Queenie. She had been going on about it as soon as she had found out. Not only that, but she insisted I accompany her to fulfill my duties as a sister and wing-woman. I could tell she was still hung up over Jacob, so I ultimately agreed, shaking my head as I slipped on the dress I wore whenever I had to go undercover. Here goes nothing.

I smiled as I watched Queenie enchant yet another lovestruck lad, no magic necessary. Her looks were more than enough to persuade practically any man to dance with her, even those that came with dates. She simply had an unspoken connection with everyone, some sort of invisible quality that allowed her to fit in wherever she went. Despite my best efforts, I was a little bit jealous. I knew she struggled in other areas and found her Legilimency to be a burden sometimes, but I envied how easily people liked her. Queenie was sweet and someone others could relate to. Me? Not so much.

As I watched my sister dance, I couldn't help but think back to the question she asked me during our childhood. I manipulated it slightly so that I would have to answer it on my own behalf. When would I meet my future husband? An even bigger question formulated before I could stop it: what if I had already met him? After all, there was no guaranteed way of knowing who my future husband was until we were married, and I had no idea when that would be. I wasn't exactly against the idea of marriage, but I also didn't see any reason to rush into things. In fact, I thought it made more sense to wait before settling down. Unfortunately, my fellow Americans didn't share this philosphy.

I would never admit it to anyone other than myself (even that was a challenge), but I had truly missed Newt and hoped he would return to America. He had unintentionally caused a large amount of trouble, sure, but there was something about him that made me want to learn more. More about him, more about his creatures, etc. Thankfully, we had been sending letters back and forth since that day on the docks. I thoroughly enjoyed receiving a letter from Newt; it was a Goldstein family ritual. Every time a letter came in, Queenie and I would huddle together and read it silently, my thoughts practically spoken aloud as I read. Sometimes I wished I was the only one who read the letters-they were addressed to me, after all-yet I knew they made Queenie happy to know that I was happy.

My peaceful thoughts continued as I reminisced on recent moments. Reality bled through just a little, flashes of Queenie dancing coming into focus. The two intertwined to form a nice fantasy where Newt was here and the possibilities were endless. I knew daydreaming was childish (not to mention pointless), but pretending Newt was somewhere in the crowd gave me a sense of contentment. I could dance with him, and Queenie would surely make things less awkward between us. My heart fluttered at the thought of it. With a lighthearted smile, I sighed, hoping that Newt felt even the slightest amount of affection that I felt for him.

fanfic by me, fanvid by @clairelizabeths (mrsmaisels on YouTube)