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#also they seperated our brother from us and while im glad he didnt have to go through the same thing
skeletonmaster69 · 1 year
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sometimes i think about foster care again and now that i actually have the ability to get pissed i am so pissed whenever i think about it
#the day we had to leave i was sick enough dad wouldve taken me to the hospital but he couldnt because we had to wait for them to take us#i was like 8 and coughing loud enough everyone in the house could hear it#then after like a month once i was better we were moved from the halfway decent family to literally the worst ever#they would not let me drink more thsn like half a cup of water a day so i was sneaking it at school and from my toothbrush#forced me to eat my own fucking vomit one time#put us in the same room as a 2 year old and got mad at us if the two year old dared to wake them up#took away the little flipphone dad got us to contact him if we needed to(i wonder why sarcasm voice)#first day we got there they made a quiche and i literslly could not eat it. i wasnt allowed to eat anything else until it was all gone#same with every single other thing they made. still cannot eat any normal egg white or yellow because the texture reminds me of them#refused to take me to my orthodontist appointments which lead to me needing braces for an extra year and getting a really bad gum infection#i have no clue why this was better for us according to thr government than living eith my dad#like i know for a fact my dad sucks but atleast he. you know. took me to doctors appointments#and gave me water#and took care of me when i was sick#also they seperated our brother from us and while im glad he didnt have to go through the same thing#im pissed at the lady who took him in refusing me nd my sibling because she 'doesnt take girls'#every day i hope the foster family i was with had the babies they were fostering taken away from them#because those kids already had a rough enough start without having to deal with people who will refuse to take actual care of them#they talked about adopting the babies god i hope they werent allowed to#they mentioned if we were with them for a year theyd adopt us too. thank fucking god we were out of there as quickly as we were#the older i get the more pissed i am at the food situation there though. like with the fact i am almost certainly neurodivergent#with the fact that my sibling had horrible sensory issues#with the fact that *i literally threw up because of the food they made and they forced me to eat the vomit*#they shouldve gotten me out of there the second that happened#but instead i had to figure out how to get food i couldnt eat to disappear eithout them noticing#< not even just in a texture way in a 'i am too full to eat the rest of this' way.#literally with the food they wanted me to eat so bad i ate my vomit it wasnt because i didnt like it i did enjoy the beef stew#it was because i was physically too full to keep eating. and they made me continue anyways. and i wasnt allowed to go to bed until i finish#pisses me off#vent tw
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~Guide Me~ Ch. 2 & 3
Chapter 2
Stephan
I remember when I lost Lucille, my love. Why did they have to raid her Reading Cirlce? Why did they care so much? We still followed their order. Why did they have to kill her? She was my everything. First they took the mother of my children and then they took my children. Here I stood outside my home where my beautiful daughter grew into the woman she is now and make preperations to go to her trial and be foreced to side against her. What had our world come to. As I sat here deep in thought, a shadow was cast over me. It was Six, the young lad my dear Rissa had fallen head over heels for, even had a child by, and now sat in jail because of. I wanted to smack him with every muscle in my body. But I stood up and just looked at him. He approached me and said immedietly and to my suprise,"I have a way to get Rissa out of prison!""And just how are you, being the skinny twiggy mess you are, get past their top notch security and resue my daughter from this fate you inflicted upon her?" I asked rather inferriated"I have someone on the inside." he retorted"Who?" i matched his retort"My sister." he said actually kinda sad about it, then preceded to look at the ground"Well, then get on it, and get my daughter out of prison." I stated"Well, actually, you have to do it. I havent actually talked to her in 12 years. Plus you see her everyday when you're their for Counsel. Its Netty, I mean Annette. The chambermaid. She'll help you if you explain the situation and offer her reasonable compensation." he said flatly but importantly"Okay, I'll talk to her. Thank you son." I said gruffly"Youre welcome sir. I'm sorry." he said as he was leavingI was glad to know there was a way I could help my Clarissa. God knows I wish I had been able to do it for her mother and her brother. But sometimes life is just this way. We must endure some pain to be truly grateful for the blessings we have. I put on my coat and readied the cart to go to the Head Office for the counsel about my daughters transgressions. I pray that this Annette girl can save her. I wish I could do more. Its so unfair to young kids in love and so many others. How could a World get to this point i pondered as a road along. We finally came to the office. After hitching the cart I headed inside to find this Annette girl. I did remembered her. Pretty thing. Smart and Studious. I liked her very much as the new chambermaid. Very quick one she was. I came into the main conference room and I saw her. I walked up to her and my mouth went dry. How would i convince her to put her life on the line for my daughter. I would forget it out as I was talking I guess. I walked up to her and said,"Good evening, how are you?"Abit taken abackshe quietly said, "I'm fine, how are you?""Fine, fine. Are you Annette, related to a Nathan Felix, a kid who goes by the name Six?""Six? Is he okay? How are the others? Hows mother?" she vommited questions upon me, wow, they really hadnt talked in a long time. She was starved for information."They are all okay. He said you might be able to help me? I need a favor.""Whats your payout, what do I get?""Six..."She intergected "My brother!""Yes, your brother, said that you would sneak my daughter out for a library full of vintage books. I happen to have many books of several different topics that will be all yours if you do this." I state to herShe thought for a moment and then said "Okay. I'll do it.""Thank you. I do truly appreciate you doing this. Bring her to the southeast side where the over hang is. Someone will be there." I told her, then rushed off to our seat, the trial was beginning. I took my seat and they brought her out. Shackled and so white. It had been two weeks. That she had been in that dark and damp cell. I hated to see her like this. They sat her down infront of the Elder Counsel. The Head of the Elders, Hall Everclear stood up and said,"What are the chargers against this wretch?"A lady stood up from the opposing side and stated,"Clarissa Taylor is accused of having sexual realtions with a memeber not of her house. Also accused of having an Impure Out of Wedlock Infant. Also accused of lying to her husband and disobeying his rule. Also accused of usurping authority of The Head and the General Laws. She is scheduled to undergo leathal injection for her crimes as payment. Thats all Your Power."The Head Elder responded with, "Of the Elders, who diagress with this motion."As they carried the motion to execute my daughter I was over come with emotion. Which doesnt often happen. It was carried and in so doing this they carried my baby off to her cell, to prepare for tomorrows main event. They tried to make her comfortable and even sent in priests to pray on her. Cast all the evil away and redeem her, but it wont do anything. Rissa is just like her mother. God rest her soul. When we were young, Lucille and I, we had so much fun together and she was so unbelievalbly beautiful in the sunlight. Flawless skin and huge bright smile. Eyes as big as baseballs and eyelashes a mile long. Flowing hair and memorable laugh. She was my everything and I know if she were here she would be so damn proud of her daughter. We are going to see so much from her, you wait and see. You to Lucille, I know you see us from up above. Ill be with you soon my love, I know this to be true. After the trial I left and went home. Waiting to see my daughter walk through that door and will stay there until she does. I will not witness her death, no parent should ever have to see that. It wont happen again. I finally get undressed and readied for bed. I laid down and thought back to when Lucille and I were first married and thats where I drifted into dream land. Chapter 3
Anette
She got sick. Really sick. More sick then we had seen her before. We wouldnt know until later on that this "sickness" couldn't be cured. The Head wouldn't let that happen. They wanted to get rid of the weak. They didnt have to make up a reason to get rid of them this way. Nature would take its course. I couldnt believe that our mother had succumb to this. There was no use, but my brother and I pushed forward and did all we could. Six worked as hard as he could. Because our no good father would go down to The Hole, a secret pub that drunks went to. He only worked if The Guards came to The Hole and forced everyone out and into the factories. But The Head didnt get rid of The Hole because it also got rid of the weak. And again they didnt have to lift a finger. But they also busted it up because thy still had work that needed to be done and after all they fed them, so they should get something for their cost. I would never really understand this until Six, my mother, and I were all seperated. Mother passed away on a cold October morning. She went peacefully though, asleep in her bed, she just couldnt fight anymore. Her and Six talked the night before and the conversation made him very upset. I over heard alittle, but now I fully understand what as a child I could not, but as an adult was crystal clear. The Head didnt car about us, they used us and threw us away like used tissues. Apparently when mother was "going to get treated" they were doing experiments on her trying to understand the illness because apparently The First Woman had fallen with it. And they had to find a cure, so they cut my mother open to find out what was wrong not caring whether she was treated or not. No, all she was, was a guinea pig. And it made me sick. I over heard her tell Six that I was gonna end up in the House with all the other Head's children. Tthat even though this was happning that he was still responsible for me and had to keep an eye on me so that the same thing that happened to her wouldnt happen to me. Apparently this sickness was hereditary and I might get it also. I was even more scared. Not only was I gonna live with these evil people but they might also hurt me and use me the way they did my mother. It was too much to expect of Six. It really was. How was he suppose to see inside where they kept the kids locked away? That was the whole point. But some how he did because even though he could see me I never saw him. I was however glad to know that he had found love. He truly deserves it. I was so proud of him and maybe I would even see him in getting Rissa out safe and sound. We got out and headed to what was called The Underground. Rissa knocked on the door and a man opened it. He had no hair and was covered in tattoos and piercings. He wore a black tank top and rough beat up blue jeans. He didnt look anything I had ever seen before. And his eyes were so captivating. A fresh mellow meadow green. So pure and yet so meloncholy. He was smoking a whitey. I only eve saw men at The Hole smoking those. They were so rare and no one my age smoked. We might get a sip of hard cider but that was about it and maybe an occasional spliff or two a year. I actually had one saved for a very special person. He embraced Rissa with worry and anxiety."Are you okay? I was so worried. Six stopped by and told me you were arrested. Wheres X-man?" he said while smoke flowed through his teeth. Like a dragon."He was taken. Those sons of whores! Is Six okay?" Rissa said frantic, running her hand through her hair and taking the whitey and puffing a couple times. "I have to be going, but Im glad youre safe. Please send my love to Nathan." I pipe up amongst the chaos"Where the hell you think youre going?" The man said blowing smoke in my direction, he had the white stick back now. "I have to get back to The House. They will be looking for Rissa and I can distract so she can reconnect with Nathan. Im so happy for you two. Tell my brother I love him very much." I say looking at Rissa, then I begin to walk away."No, youre not going back!" he said grabbing my arm. I turned to find him looking down into my eyes so focused and determined. My breathe caught in my throat. No one had ever looked at me like that."I have to do something." I say confidently, though I was still a little shocked. I had to see her one more time. I wriggled out of his grasp."Let her go Tats, she knows what shes doing, thank you for everything." Rissa said coming up and giving me a hug. "Be careful." she said in my ear.I waved goodbye and walked away, I headed staight to her room. I did this quite often but tonight was special. It would most likely be the last time I saw her. My one love. Trisha Lynn. I got to her room and lightly tapped on the door. It opened and out slipped this gorgeous young woman with raven black hair and eyes as dark as the coal. I pulled her close and whispered in her ear, "Come with me." We walked out side and across the green grass until we got to our special tree. I had a box inside that held things we had made for each other,notes we had written, and our secret stash of greenies. I only had one left and I wanted to use it tonight. We laid under the tree passing it back and forth. Looking at the stars and talking."One day were gonna have our own house, we little ones running around, well just run off into the sunset and well do it." she said while exhaling. I took it and smiled at her. I loved that idea even though I knew it wouldnt happen. I loved her so much. I wanted to have a house with her. Have kids with her. Treat her better then anyone else ever had or ever would. She was My Sweetling, My Dove, My One True Love. I would miss her, but atleast we had tonight. We finshed the greenie and all I wanted to do was kiss her. We laid beneath teh stars that night for the last time. We both dosed off but I woke up before morning and guided her back to her room. She rubbed her eyes and hugged me, as she went to pull away I pulled her close and said in her ear so tenderly, "I love you." She had wanted me to say it before, but I wasnt ready until now. I now knew that I truly did love her. Because she was the only reason I was sad to leave this cruel world. I knew they would take me in Rissas place. And that was okay, my brother had sacrificed for me, now it was my turn. She pulled me in closer and rather choked up said in my ear,"I love you too." Tears came to my eyes, I had never been more happy. I let her go and she slipped back inside and I headed back to my room. As I did I saw Nathan or Six as hes better known. Right across the way too. He stopped and looked at me. He smiled and stared. I did the same. We knew what the other was thinking. Then we turned and kept walking. It was almost like a dream, but I know it happened. I got back to my room, slipped into bed, and fell asleep thinking about Trisha and how the world once was.
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