#also theres dynamics im just like 'its not a ship truly... im just not normal about them but'

[anawkwardlady]

i saw an umineko ship ranking I almost did it but my ranking would be the most boring thing ever because most of the time with shipping im just "idc, cool but whatever" AND there was not all the options....

[yanderomantic]

Hey!! 1, 2, 3, 9 & 13 for the ask game? 👀

what got you into proshipping? -- politics. i started educating myself on marxism, dialectical materialism, i realized that pushing towards censorship is a conservative view, that in practice its the most disenfranchised members of society that get censored--people of color, trans women, queers of any flavor. in a world where the definition of pedophilia is getting expanded to include open trans women in florida, im not comfortable equating the exploration of dark fiction with child abuse. theres real world political impacts to this pedojacketing shit that harms the oppressed before the privileged, and im not taking part in it. also--we should normalize discussion of dark topics, in order for victims to feel safe processing their traumas--theres a lot of traumatized people stuck in anti circles who are too afraid of admitting the complicated truths of their trauma because the mere discussion of dark topics is such a deep taboo. theres a lot of social and political benefits to destigmatizing discussion. also i became staunchly pro-kink for about all the same reasons as i mentioned before, and in my mind kink & dark self shipping is basically in the same boat--imaginative play with dark themes & power dynamics.

what got you into selfshipping? -- friends! i mean, i always enjoyed daydreaming about my favorite characters, but i didnt realize there was a community to partake in until my pals got me into it. thank you lav ^_^

who is one of your your first/oldest f/os? -- good question! i mean, theres the characters ive adored since childhood that i spent my time daydreaming about, maybe even making ocs for--flippy from happy tree friends was probably the first character i properly self shipped with before realizing what self shipping even was cuz i was like, 9... but i had made ocs id project onto. the first few characters i decided to call my f/os--when i was first introduced to the self shipping community--will graham & herobrine, though i dont really self ship with herobrine & not sure if i ever truly did, i just liked him ^_^

9. who is a f/o you want more content of? -- not too sure! i have a couple that dont have a lot of content, but im not too pressed about it--mr robot, from mr robot, is a character i really really really like but the fandom doesnt explore him in the ways id like for it to. hilbert from w359 could definitely use some more content that appeals to me, im a little picky about my interpretations of podcast characters though.

(and i got your other ask specifying you meant 14! i assume you meant 14 over 13, so i'll answer 14 instead (: )

14. do you prefer romantic, platonic, or familial f/os? -- my familial f/o's have always meant the most to me & have brought me the most comfort. crowley from supernatural most of all. supernatural as a source has been deeply important to me in many ways. and then theres lucas baker from re7, who hits the sweet spot between romantic & familial both! which is a very very awesome spot for an f/o to be. i need more incestuous f/os in my life i think itd fix me whats kinda funny about platonic f/o's, if i like them enough they either start branching into romantic territory or familial territory eventually. like a few other spn characters, like kevin who i started crushing on, and um. jack. who. um. Well we're kind of incestuous. thematically. It was unavoidable. jack kline parallels me too much and his (biological) dad is grooming me so. It happens. we started having some kind of codependent sibling incest even before i accepted that im proship. it was unpreventable. Love you jack kline forever

(and yknow what just cuz i love talking ill answer 13 too)

13. do you create self inserts to be more like you, or an idealised version of yourself? -- it depends on how im feeling/who im feeling like when i get into the source/make my s/i! or, depends on the source and how it makes me feel. of course my spn self insert is pretty idealized, yet true to myself and my emotional complexes--fallen angel turned demon, but is still pretty bad at being a demon. and my re7 self insert is pretty true to my teenage self while being very much inspired by who i am today at 23. kind of an homage to the teenage self i couldve been if i was less lost in my identity. the self inserts i made for media i got into 2020-2022 are pretty different from the self inserts i make in 2024, because im just a different person. each self insert is kind of a snapshot of a person i once was/used to be/used to want to be. ive got a couple self inserts that are more idealized than others, like an au version of my spn self insert that gains her angel status back--very confident, reclaiming her femininity, revenge against abusers--a type of person i once looked up to, but i dont really idolize her the same way i once needed to. im always ever growing & so are my self inserts--ive got trans men, cis women, butch dykes-- all self inserts are versions of me ive been or can be

[probably-haven]

after binge reading i have come to a new revelation: I’m not a fan of most Xiaoven fanfics

Don’t get me wrong, I love the ship and its one of my favorite to think about.... but most of the fanfiction for the ship just- doesn’t sit right with me for a number of reasons. 

Disclaimer: these are personal opinions from my own taste and are in no way an attack against any authors out there, because frankly fanfic authors are great and not like i could do better lol. As these are personal opinions, I acknowledge here and now that a number of people disagree and that they are under no obligation to change their opinions in any way as it is not and never will be my intention to tell others what they should be thinking That said- read at your own risk if you want- meh, anyway-

time to share some opinions that have been on my mind lately

The biggest reason.... is how they handle Xiao. And I don’t even mean mischaracterization because Xiao is such a complex and yet simultaneously simple character that as long as you’re somewhere in the range of “Xiao vibes” it’s really hard to write him out of character because of his complexities. What I mean is something that i actually completely agree with as being accurate to his character. In nearly every single fanfic I’ve seen, there is some element of idolization that Xiao has for Venti, or for the sake of reference, Barbatos. He tends to think himself beneath Barbatos and/or indebted to him, whether that be because he’s an archon, because he saved him, or simply because of Xiao’s tendency to dehumanize(yes i see the irony in that word usage) himself.  This by itself isn’t an issue but its often how this trait of his is treated.

Imma just list a few ways I’ve seen this be handled within Xiaoven fics. - It isn’t handled, it’s just there and accepted as a part of who he is in the story - It isn’t handled but his trait is treated as source of humor within the story - Venti(and others) roll with it (finding humor in it, just cant change it, encouraging it, making jokes about it, etc.) - Venti takes advantage of it(whether accidentally or purposely) - it’s actually addressed(by Venti or someone else or the narration- can go a number of ways, but just- even a brief reference to the fact that its not a good mindset fits in here) - savior!Venti(Where venti disagrees with it but the way it’s written gives off “god among mortals” vibes- like he’s just being humble and truly is above him in reality) - its the focus of the story  - not directly addressed but shown to be destructive.  - they chose not to not include this in the story’s characterization of Xiao(just saying that this is valid ahead of time) Theres others but i have a lot already.  Note that I tend to read more ‘serious-toned’(idk if that makes sense) fics so that may skew my perception

Now there’s a few that i have issues with on their own- both instances of it not being handled, Venti(and others) rolling with it, Venti takes advantage of it(purposely(and without good intent)), and savior!Venti. Xiao not only has this trait, but he is unfamiliar with what is normal in relationships or emotions as a result of isolation and inexperience. He is also either not aware of or not concerned with what is considered strictly “healthy.” Combining these makes for a rather dangerous combination and just accepting it as “oh he’s just like that, it’s who he is” or making it out to be something funny- It’s not wrong or bad by any means necessarily, and I could still possibly enjoy it to an extent depending on a series of different factors, but its- not as often.  Even in the case where I do enjoy reading it however, I would still feel uncomfortable sharing it with or recommending it to others because in the first instance it feels like normalizing a destructive and dangerous mindset, and in the second case it does the same while simultaneously making a joke of it. It’s the same deal with Venti or other characters rolling with it, but that’s probably gonna be mentioned later too. Not to say that this is a “wrong” way to handle it, that it makes the fic bad, or that authors even are normalizing anything by doing so, just that in my specific instance- not a fan. 

I’ll get to the others when i talk more about Venti, but for now: It’s the focus of the story. I think I saw like... 2? where the story was like- focused on this and why its a problem which- power to them, address those real world problems like a boss- but also i wouldn’t actively seek it out or anything- like, good job, but doing so just leaves it open neutrally for other factors to decide how good a story i think it is. 

not directly addressed but shown to be destructive. You’d think i wouldn’t like this- but frankly in fanfiction not everyone wants to address every character flaw verbally because it can through off story, narration, dialogue, and general flow to do so. This can be with an event, an action, a dialogue, a mere comment, making it actually fit into the it’s actually addressed category except that its- subtle enough to make its own category. plus i live for show not tell- in everything- its a thing. im- very much a fan of when the fics do this but the subtlety is easy to miss and its not common so- 

It’s actually adressed- doesnt have to be a lot- just mention anywhere or imply anywhere that maybe idolizing someone as a god and savior and being in a relationship with them while having little knowledge of standards, emotions, relationships, or healthy behaviors in general- maybe isnt the smartest idea in the word. (”Call me Venti, not Barbatos” by itself is not enough to fit in this category tho as a note)

-

Now lets talk about Venti...

uh.... those who have followed me for awhile will probably already know this but... I have a lot of opinions on Venti and a pretty- “niche(?)” perception of his characterization that isn’t shared by a lot of others- so I don’t actually read as much Venti fanfic in general as you might expect because I often end up disagreeing with how writers portray him, which again, in no way is their characterization wrong, but- “their perceived truth” conflicts with “my perceived truth” and by extent so does the characterization, though neither is any more correct than the other from an objective point of view, if that makes sense... but anyways now that that’s said, moving on before this becomes a philosophy lecture, as fun as that would be for me.  I’ll try to keep my “perceived truth” out of this for the first bit. 

Venti’s response to this: 

He rolls with it: this depends on the mood of the fanfiction. If they dont put a lot of stress on that trait of Xiao’s it totally fine but if the trait seems to be a major part of Xiao’s character, it seems like normalization once more. (more on this later)

he takes advantage of it purposely: if its an AU or something and Venti’s like a villain(i saw a few) then- villain venti isnt my cup of tea but i have no qualms. If they don’t portray Venti in a negative light while having him take advantage however that’s a bit uncomfortable to read for me because it feels like normalizing taking advantage of that mindset as well as the mindset itself. However, i did see a number of instances of Venti using it as leverage for like- self care- which i definitely have no qualms. Xiao: [insert probably destructive idolizing statement about being indebt] Venti: How bout you pay me back by actually sleeping for once smh or other variations are okay and depending on the vibe are actually a really fun dynamic as long as it doesnt turn into romanticizing or normalizing it, y’know?

Venti accidentally taking advantage of it.... I love angst- and in most of these theres a sense of guilt when he realizes- and i just think thats a lovely way of addressing the dangers of such a mindset for both sides. As long as it doesn’t keep repeating to the point of romanticization its totally cool to read in my eyes(not irl ofc). If Venti never realizes he accidentally took or is taking advantage it feels a bit like normalization, and if he does but just- doesn’t care thats- a rip.

savior!Venti...... i- i hate. the story giving off vibes that Xiao’s mindset is technically correct while Venti oh so humbly tells him to treat him as an equal like the wonderful and charitable person he is.... i just- no. of course thats over dramatizing it- I think the main thing that gives it this vibe is when Venti doesn’t seem either concerned, surprised, uncomfortable, or otherwise have a negative feeling towards Xiao’s mindset. Just- it makes the whole thing weird in my eyes when Venti doesnt really seem to have his own reason to oppose the mindset idk- 

-

fact time!

Venti is the god of freedom. His backstory is freeing Mondstadt from a god’s tyrannical reign. His origin is a windsprite, just another breeze bringing changes for the better. His form is a nameless boy who played an instrument and then died, thus failing at his only dream and only ever accomplishing anything because of the help of others. He slept for a thousand years after the archon war to avoid putting Mond under the rule of yet another tyrannical god. He only even became a god because Andrius chose to let him. He wouldn’t have even had that chance if the nameless bard had survived, he’d remain just another wind while his friend ascended to godhood. Venti sacrifices his own power for his people’s freedom. 

now that I’ve laid out a number of canon facts, time for opinions:

Venti has little to no desire to be seen as a god. He thrives in, comes from, and emphasizes a lack of superiority in quite nearly everything. The first Ragnvindir, who canonically turned his back on Venti after Decarabian’s fall, likely did so because one- he anticipated power would corrupt and Venti would soon become just another tyrannical god, two- he suspected Venti used the nameless bard in an attempt to rise to godhood, or three- idk insert other possibilities to acknowledge again that i could totally be wrong.

Look me in the eyes and tell me Venti wouldnt trade godhood for his friend in an instant. His godhood was only granted to him because his friend died and could easily serve to constantly remind him of what could have been and what he lost. Venti takes no enjoyment from being seen as superior and in my opinion, I feel that it could actually make him largely uncomfortable when his divinity and abilities as an archon get involved-

also self promotion for my favorite posts- check out #archon war era venti if thats interesting to you

so anyway Venti rolling with it or making jokes about it just doesn’t sit right with me.- 

-

Okay! enough talking about that mindset!

idk- i have... a few/lot of other gripes and stuff or just things that kinda throw off the vibe for me but that’s the main one plus my general personal pickiness when it come to Venti fanfics- but this has gotten long enough already- 

idk i just felt like rambling about it and i haven’t done a long post in a while so-

again, I love the ship and its actually one of my favorites- just the fanfic isnt my thing..... that doesn’t mean i don’t still love it and come up with a whole ton of brainrot and ideas on it tho lmao

[curedeity]

For the bingo: kyoko and/or mami?

While i may have surprisingly few boxes for kyoko colored in, its not from a lack of love. Kyoko, imo, is the best redeemed villain character ive ever seen. Its not about her apologizing to sayaka or whatever, its about her slowly understanding sayakas worldview and growing closer to her, how their differing philosophies intertwine as the world slowly beats them down. Kyokos redemption arc is just her choosing to change and try to help sayaka, such a simple thing and yet masterfully executed. Its even more impressive when kyoko really only had 4 episodes in the show to execute all that. Saying she didnt have enough screentime is a bit tough, especially considering what a short and tightly plotted show pmmm is, but i really think kyoko couldve used a few more scenes to show what she does when shes alone, shes normally only with another character.

She does work very well off of whatever character shes paired with though. She and sayaka have (imo) the best dynamic in the entire show, what with how much they impact each other and how their dynamic builds up over time. Kyoko also has great chemistry with madoka despite having only one episode together. I know theres a manga of her and mami somewhere which i really want to read. (Rebellion spoilers for the rest of the paragraph) I also love how she and homura get to grow close in rebellion. I just wish rebellion had given time to kyoko and madoka, and kyoko and mami, but it isnt a huge problem.

Basically, i love kyoko a lot and what she means in the series. Her arc is incredible and she works well off of anyone she comes in contact with. The only problem is that i think the show doesnt give her a chance to show off what she can be like solo.

Mami. Gosh, this feels lkke payback for me giving you her. Shes such a hard character to describe.

First off minor point not everyone is wrong about mami im mostly joking bc i really hc her as aroace. Shes got so many aroace vibes. Shes the character through which i truly understood what relationship envy was. But i dunno if i wanna say all her ships are bad or anything yknow. They just dont work for me. So mostly that point is kinda a joke.

Also ghsjfnnsks so hard to choose whether shes wasted potential and not enough screentime. To say those things would i think imply something in the writing wasted her, and i dont think so. She is a character with very little of an arc, very little time, but she dows a lot in that time and is incredibly important to how the rest of the show plays out. Plotwise, i think shes used perfectly. I think what redeems her short tome is that they strongly characterize her in short moments. That scene in episode 10 reveals so much about how mami views the world, and makes so much sense. Not to mention how much they let mami do in rebellion. Its clear they have a strong characterization of mami and show it off whenever possible.

She did get done dirty by the creators though, she did not need to be fanserviced in rebellion. Shes a middle schooler.

Other than that i find her very interesting to think about but i will admit she is my lest favorite magical girl in pmmm. Which means shes still an incredible character, but the weakest in her cast.

EDIT: i forgot to mention i love her dynamic with madoka but idk if thats necessarily where she works best. Its just fun.

[theunconcernedembalmer]

what’s the issue with elisop? is it just bc you hc aesop as ace? im so concerned by seeing ppl adamantly opposed to mlm/wlw ships but im also genuinely curious about why you dislike it and other lgbt ships so much lol

hmm. that is a strong accusation, n i find it just a bit odd. are you new here? or perhaps you are taking personal offense at my dislike towards a favourite ship of yours and using the lgbt argument as moral high ground?

whatever the case may be, i thank you for asking. if u r truly looking for an answer, its below the cut n it is very very long. mind u these are all my personal opinions n i am in no way policing how others enjoy ships. just in case this wasnt clear; i dont wish to start discourse on this blog, especially since my takes are probably... unpopular.

firstly i would like to address the “disliking lgbt ships” bit, because this has very strong implications in itself. i have nothing against lgbt ships. i enjoy them, even. if the two characters have chemistry between each other, i ship it. however, the moment characterization is broken for the sake of romance, i lose interest. this is generally my stance on ships in general, n this applies for both straight n lgbt ships. 

the ships themselves are fine. however, i do have issues with the ship dynamics, so ill let u in on that.

i want to touch on mlm ships in particular; i believe u are familiar with the top/bottom dynamic that is rampant in these kinds of ships? (i wont deny that this dynamic can be found in other types of ships, but for arguments sake i will be focusing on gay ships because i feel that this occurs more commonly here) its such a popular dynamic that is prone to stripping the personality from one if not both characters, only for them to be reduced to being dominant/submissive. for a character to be pigeonholed into a stereotypical category based on... preferred sexual positions? its just downright insulting, never mind the larger more problematic implications of it. top/bottom is not indicative of someones personality, by the way. flattening multi dimensional characters into these stereotypes is so so so insulting.

unfortunately this is The Most Popular portrayal of just about any gay ship around. ive seen it being used everywhere in so many fandoms n it just about becomes apparent to me that ppl come to stories looking for a Ship. not the stories, nor the characters, just a ship. while id like to say theres nothing wrong with that, keep in mind not everyone is just looking for 2 characters that look pretty next to each other. if i ship something, i see interesting n meaningful interactions between 2 characters, which is so often not the case once u bring in the top/bottom dynamic. why is it so popular? because somehow this is what ppl like from a gay ship n hence it sells. ppl want the drama, characterizations be damned. ppl want to see the big kiss that happens in the end, n maybe the sexy parts that come after. characterizations be damned.

so u can say im a little wary of gay ships when they cross my feed. hell, as a joseph aesop shipper i see this trope everywhere n im pretty disappointed as well. small tangent but i feel like this is the reason why zh0ngli n ch1lde is so popular in g3nshin. i try to see the appeal, i really do, but after a long while of analyzing their respective characters i dont think they have as much chemistry as ppl think they do. dont even get me started on how incredibly ooc they make either of these very interesting n unique characters in ship portrayals. all because of the top/bottom dynamic that ppl want to see. i say this for that particular ship, but this is pretty much the case for a lot of ships out there, n the latter part is painfully true even when the 2 characters do have potential between each other. ill say it again im disgusted by the blatant disrespect to the characterizations if all ppl ever want is 2 pretty puppets to mush lips together. cos thats what theyre essentially reduced to this way.

n its so obvious to see when an artist subscribes to this rhetoric, because u can so clearly see it in the way they draw their characters. the “top” generally has sharper features to go with their “dominating personality”, while the “bottom” has disturbingly softer, feminine, dare i say sometimes child like features “to submit”. n thats where the uwu soft gay trope comes from, i believe. which, in case u still dont know, i hate with a burning passion.

so again for ppl with impaired reading comprehension, im fine with ships, including lgbt ones, but the moment u break characterization for the sake of the ship, im not that okay with it. u want to do it for a short crack comic? fine. but if thats the only way ur portraying the 2 characters then im immediately wary of ur content. ill still look at it cos usually the art is really good, but im very very wary. so im not “adamantly opposed”, just very critical of how the ships are being portrayed. if other ppl want to enjoy their ships like that, sure. just dont expect me to join in on something i dont agree on.

.

now id like to address not shipping “because i hc aesop as ace”. for ppl who are new to the blog (hello there), im an ace in a romantic relationship, so thats definitely not the reason i dont ship elisop. its more of being in a relationship has largely shaped my views towards romance as a whole. even before i met my boyfriend, i hated the romance genre in stories n media. most of it comes off as incredibly forced, especially those love triangles they seem to love putting into teen novels. thats one reason why i stopped reading when i was younger, but i digress.

did i partake in shipping when i was younger? i did. for a gay ship too (if anyone really wants to know, its kurotsukki from haikyuu. at least this was one that i can remember, i was mostly working on my 20 odd ocs for the longest time). i also used to write little short romance ficlets that i never posted anywhere cos i hated (n still do hate) my writing. but writing romance when u dont have experience was really just a way of projecting n probably a way of coping for myself, not that i knew at that time. but after i actually started a relationship with my boyfriend (whom i love n cherish a lot thank u very much), i began to see how much all these have skewed my views towards romance n have actually done some harm to our relationship. the bullshit that the general media feeds u constantly doesnt help in the slightest either.

quick topic shift to elisop in particular (about time, right?). i already stated that i only ship characters if i sense chemistry between the two personalities, n if u have seen the part where i dont ship elisop then u must have seen how agonized i am over not being able to have a concrete personality for eli. that is the main problem i have with elisop: eli does not feel like a solid character to me. n that is a huge problem, because if he doesnt have any defining characteristics besides being mild n nice, then he can be whoever i want him to be. (i have done this in my exorcist comics, i will admit this. n the fact that i can just do that... it really does not sit well with me personally.)

n that is dangerous.

back to young me doing lil ship things. i think its also pretty safe to say when u really do ship 2 characters, chances are u kinda really relate very very hard to at least one of them. that very quickly can turn into projecting, n shipping therefore is not “exploring the relationship between 2 characters” n it becomes “my preferred dating simulator 101″. of course this isnt always the case, but at least it was for me, n subconsciously it might be for lots of ppl too. n since this is ur mental playground, u call the shots, n there is no consequences if u slightly (or even entirely) alter one or both personalities to fit ur desired narrative. n u wouldnt even notice or know, cos ur blind to ur own biasness.

we bring our perceived notions into real life, im sure u know that. so when ur partner does not become that perfect knight in shining armour, or when they get upset at things that u do (which is a very normal thing by the way), n u think (very subconsciously), That isnt what my otp would do, something is wrong here (nothing is wrong, actually its just ur skewed perception of a stable romantic relationship). why wouldnt ur otp do this? because u are both halves of ur otps, there is no hidden secrets between them (apart from the pining part but thats irrelevant), n again they have been altered to fit ur preferred narrative. 

a real relationship requires a lot of communication between parties, because newsflash, liking someone doesnt mean that u have to like every single thing they do, they will make mistakes n it will hurt u, n guess what, the reverse is also true. if u do go with absoutely anything that they would do with 0 objections whatsoever, ur not crushing on someone, ur idolizing them, n that power imbalance is detrimental to a relationship. these things are not obvious to ppl, especially when the whole climate is hell bent on getting into romantic relationships by a certain age or some bullshit. communication is key n is pretty much the only way to solve relationship issues, because the other person has a lot that u r not seeing n vice versa. as similar as 2 ppl can be, i doubt u can have 100% the same thoughts on all things. i dont make the rules.

so in ur mental playground u focus on the fluffy parts, maybe there is communication, but rarely is there any meaningful conflict. thats unrealistic, n if u bring that mindset to an actual relationship, thats not going to end well. i say meaningful conflict, because yes, generally u shouldnt have conflicts with ur significant other. but inevitably when ur with each other for long enough, u will realize that there are habits that u must change in order to be with the other person. habits that are harmful to the other person directly, or harmful habits towards yourself that indirectly harm the other person. these are meaningful in a sense that if left alone, it will manifest into larger problems that will harm u, the other person n the relationship as a whole. its meaningful to the relationship.

all these is made even worse if ur neurodivergent. maladaptive coping practices, self sabotaging behaviours, inherent disabilities. all these must be adjusted n addressed. im so incredibly thankful for my boyfriend for being incredibly patient with me when working all these out, n it has not been easy for me to work on myself n all my problems, n im still not done working on them. this aspect is often not explored in romance in general (or properly), n there is a very good chance i would have still been stuck in the unhealthy mindset of “this isnt like my otp, maybe we’re not meant to be”. because loving someone is a choice. no one is made for each other, it is a conscious choice made between 2 ppl to make things work. this is how arranged marriages work, i am told, n i do see the appeal, not that it actually does appeal to me culturally.

special mention to the kurotsukki ship, cos from there i found a very, very good fic that explored their relationship before n after getting together, n it actually showed aspects of this problem in the incredibly slow burn of (at that time) 20+ chapters. it was just one fic (n a very good one at that, i believe it was called Leviticus), but it had a lesson i never thought i needed to learn, n learn it i did, with a lot of help from my dear. 

this is also probably the reason why i dont really want to delve too much into romance now. i know its a lot of work, n everything (mostly) that the media feeds u is really false advertising, but ppl eat that shit up n so it remains one of the most popular genres to date. im just very wary that if i do start on a romantic story, i want to be able to show it in a way like that fic did, the truths of relationships, because i dont want to make something that sells, i want to make something that meaningful to me, if a little indulgent. n that also includes being very careful in how the respective characterizations will change in a relationship. almost too careful now that i think about it, but its not something that i mind. i was never one for romance from the start, n now im very careful about shipping because of what happened to me persoanlly.

okay enough about me, lets talk about aesop. in any au u put the character in, the essence of the character must remain despite the change in environment. so lets say we have ur typical modern au. dead mom, check. shitty mentor doing illegal stuff? also check. autistic boy with social anxiety? we’re good to go. all these have implications on aesop as a character, n while ppl are aware of this, again the way they go about portraying it can go, in my personal opinion, very wrong. ppl who immediately woobify aesop completely because he has autism annoy me. ppl who reduce him to uwu soft boi cos he has social anxiety do not know how the disorder really works n as someone who has that i hate it to the core. ppl who do all these for the sake of ship have lost my respect. its insulting.

remember the top/bottom dynamic? not that elisop is completely free from that (even if i dont know much about eli, to put him in either one of those stereotypes feels very insulting to his character. i wont even say anything about doing it to aesop its so upsetting), but its not entirely made up of either. but now i want to introduce another trope i am very wary of, which is “i can fix him”. im sure u guys have seen the meme going around poking fun at this trope (for those who havent, its along the lines of “u can fix him? well i can be his worst nightmare”) n no doubt yall would have seen it n gotten sick of it in some forced hetero romantic bullshit. we have one damsel in distress with a saviour that solves all their problems just by existing n being romo with each other.

remember “my preferred dating simulator 101″? this is not mutually exclusive n from my point of view this is dangerously close to this trope. lets be real, if it was actually a thing that all ur deep rooted trauma magically disappears if someone were to waltz into ur life, we would want it. definitely. no painfully dissecting ur own problems n constantly facing them head on. real life states that this is not the case, but it will not stop us from dreaming. n so this trope is born n lives n will go on.

(finally) pulling aesop n eli into this, at least in my mind, u have one severely traumatized boy with lots of issues n u have this. nice mild guy who can be anything u want him to be. i hope u can see where im going with this, n thats the direction i see some elisop heading towards (i dont read a lot of elisop to be fair). if u came from my eli character talk, i mentioned that it is incredibly one sided. this is exactly what im talking about.

putting it all together in case u havent already, aesop is the damsel in distress, whose problems magically disappear because of elis godly kindness n little to no work on improving himself, n they lived happily n gayly ever after.

can u tell how much that does not appeal to me. 

never mind the butchering of character that inevitably happens somewhere somehow, the unrealistically perfect themes n implications of this trope makes me so viscerally uncomfortable. this is, of course, due to personal reasons, n i definitely see the appeal of this dynamic because i would probably have been interested in this once upon a time as well. but as i am now, with everything i have explained up there n everything i have been through, i would politely rather not.

n its difficult to think of another dynamic, because of how little i know about eli apart from him being this saint, which easily makes him a candidate for being aesops trauma panacea. never mind aesop rarely, if ever, does anything for eli as a character in return, n its so damaging to buy into this rhetoric, where a person like this who would solve all ur issues no strings attached exists somewhere in the world. they really dont. a relationship has to be mutually benefitting, or it will be draining n disastrous. maybe u say, Oh its nice to imagine it once in a while. n yeah, i agree, except once in a while is a little difficult to keep track of n that is sort of what happened to me. id rather stay as far away as possible from this kind of unrealistic fantasy, i just got this shit sorted out with myself n my boyfriend.

i have some other reasons, but theyre more personally problematic, so i wont go into them here. but this is mostly n generally why i do not ship elisop romantically. if u do, u do u, and have fun, but again dont expect me to join u. thank u for coming to my ted talk, this took a lot longer than expected.

[piratemadi]

please make your critical post of supernatural those are literally the only posts about supernatural i care about, especially since i side eye the heck out of the many people who give supernatural a pass because they ship two boring white dudes (dean and castiel) PLEASE

omg ok nobody make fun of me for posting an earnest criticism of this show i enjoy critical analysis and being a hater

i think most of why this show sucks has already been covered pretty thoroughly but these r the main things abt it that piss ME off.

the racism runs so SO deep. supernatural is supposed to be an exploration of americana thru horror (and i’ll give them that. like the idea of deconstructing america and all its fallacies thru horror is genius and in competent hands it would be absolutely incredible. but anyway) but it only really scrapes the surface of what is inherently horrific about americana! something like that is supposed to be an INTERROGATION of monstrosity and how america (and western society more broadly) creates monsters out of human beings and how white christian morals are established as the ONLY acceptable morals and how anyone who falls outside of those norms (non christian, non white, lgbt, people with substance use disorders, prisoners, the poor, indigenous people/cultures etc) are monsterized, so to speak, because of an oppressive and unloving colonial society. like u cannot have a horror narrative abt monsters attacking family values and white suburban life without invoking some very old and racist conventions! but instead of subverting that supernatural just reinforces it! it consistently fails to make any kind of real statement because the most demonized parts of society are the people who are also treated the WORST in canon! native american beliefs are stolen and turned into stupid bogeymen without the show ever featuring a native character or seriously grappling with the inherent violence of america as a colonial state, black men are consistently portrayed as angry and evil while black women are treated like shit (dean’s happy ending at the end of s5 is with a white woman he fucked one time instead of with the black woman who he was in love with??), impoverished people are mostly ignored and when they’re not theyre monsters (theres one episode centered around a poor rural family that commits murder and cannibalism. no supernatural stuff or monsters. just poor people. thats the scare).

theres this consistent fixation on preserving american suburbia, on saving “normal” (read: white middle class) people and it sets up this dynamic of like. the “real world” is the white middle class and then there’s hunters including our mains who defend that “real world” against monsters and demons, which is just Everything Else. and the writers PRETEND to struggle w the question of monsters and what makes one but they just toss it around without ever actually committing to answering that question with compassion or narrative coherency. they have multiple episodes about characters who were raised human, who want to be human, but have to be killed because of an inherent evil nature. there’s a plot in the early seasons about how one of the main characters has demonic powers, and instead of saying that doesnt make him inherently bad and he’s allowed to fully access all parts of himself without being fundamentally evil, they consistently frame intrinsically neutral traits as inherently evil specifically because they go against a christian ideal of morality! and eventually he learns to suppress these powers and that’s that!

and then it establishes christianity as the guiding principle of america, not in a way of like “american culture and history is deeply steeped in white supremacist protestantism that has led to incredibly fucked up views on god and love and morality and thats what we have to deal with as people who live here”, but in a way of like “the christian god is real and he’s a white guy who fucking hates you.” which like. Ok. they bastardize and trivialize any religions that arent christian while building the entire series on christianity. Ok. like i guess its possible to write stories about white christianity without implying that every other religion is full of shit but supernatural did not do that on any level

its also just. really poorly written. i genuinely loved the first season i thought it was really well paced and that the characters were introduced really well like the first season is a GOOD horror story in terms of family as horror and the inherent terror of americana. but the pacing and the character development started tripping up in s2. by s3 they started raising the stakes Exponentially which honestly is such a kiss of death for good fiction like every season mounting a bigger badder antagonist than the last one is the surest way to kill a story bc it means the earlier entries in that story become basically meaningless in the face of the new bad guy. u dont need to raise the stakes to write a good story! a well written story abt the horror and drama of a close knit and unhealthy family caught up in something they don’t really understand isn’t Less emotionally resonant than, like, having to stop the world from ending, because at the end of the day its Fiction and none of it matters beyond what u can make the audience really Feel. im not gonna feel sorrow if 7 billion fake little people die. i didnt cry when the death star blew up whatever planet it blew up. what DOES make me feel sorrow is a few truly well written characters whose relationships are complicated and tragic and whose motivations i can understand and whose inner lives i can imagine. raising the stakes destroys a good story and thats exactly what happened to supernatural (not that the racism and misogyny and american protestant moralizing wasn’t killing it already)

also, the misogyny makes the female characters basically impossible to watch. like not a single person on that show is a good actor (except sterling k brown love u king u were the best actor that show ever saw) but they didnt even give any of the women anything to work with. its literally so cringey to watch any woman onscreen except maybe like. bela talbot and she was treated like utter shit.

god. you know that expression dont fall in love with potential? i dont do that w people i do it w fiction. i came off black sails and the untamed and frankenstein and i watched the first couple seasons of supernatural with my friend and it was like...there was so much room for it to SAY something about monsters and how society creates them thru violence and how deeply horrific american protestantism is. like theres so many questions and concepts that it brought up that it never actually SAID something about. shithole of wasted potential. and yeah dean and castiel is stupid there i said it

[cheylouwho]

irt what one anon just said, and like i kinda hold a diff opinion than you on some of this but not in such an extreme way i’d like fight u on it lmao just Would Like To Discuss/throw in my two cents for consideration, but i feel like framing matters a lot in these arguments about content. most (can’t say all as there are definitely exceptions) people aren’t saying its a direct like ‘see someone in movie kill people -> im gonna kill people now hehe’ influence when people talk about how media effects reality. its more about like why propoganda has been effective, where when you frame things as good/desirable/okay in subtle ways and that normalizes them as ideas. if a narrative is framing something as bad (ie how south park is satire and often shows lots of bad stuff but usually makes an attempt to point at how the bad stuff is Still Bad And Stupid) and just exploring the topic (such as with like. abusive/toxic/problematic ships, i dont think its fair to be like ‘none of that at all!’ bc there are interesting dynamics to explore and analyze that don’t romanticize it, and like thats totally cool!) like i have never had a problem with that. that doesn’t fall under the ‘media effects reality’ the same way because the point of that media isn’t to encourage that behaviour.

But a problem comes in when people romanticize that type of content and perpetuate bad stuff as being okay, and i’m not even saying censorship is the best answer, but if theres gonna be no censorship then there need to be a lot more safeguards to keep content like that away from kids on sites like ao3 which do also host pg content. if it was like an exclusively explicit/adult site then sure go buckwild my dudes, but when they have all ages content it really should be stricter about tagging requirements. because man i have seen so much untagged incest porn come up when looking for pg stuff not related to that AT ALL even with tags filtered (and not even for sp, ive been involved with other fandoms more recently and the one im talking about here is not even an adult-oriented series like sp is), and like I’m an adult who can deal with it but that shit is damaging for kids to be exposed to. like i still support ao3 as a website in general but i absolutely don’t think they’re beyond criticism, ya know?

Ok anon I really do respect and appreciate you come in here very calmly and opening a discussion and I will absolutely love to open a dialogue.

I will agree with you on the first part, yes it’s not black and white in any sense. I’m really fired up so I’m going to the other extreme but I do recognize that it’s not that simple. There absolutely is areas where it does become gray and it’s not as easy to say “all or nothing”. I wouldn’t say fiction Doesnt affect reality because there are aspects that do, but you are right that a lot of the time that statement is taken to the extreme and people completely equate it 1:1. Honestly I believe that as long as no real life person is being hurt and those safeguards are in place (proper tagging and warnings) like go wild. “Romanticizing” is a very opinion based statement too so it really does depend on the person on their interpretation of a work.

Ao3 does have policy about tagging works and using the proper rating system, so that is not a problem with Ao3 themselves but with the people misusing the platform. I agree, works need to be tagged properly or at least using the “chose not to use archive warnings” tag so people know things inside the fic are freegame. Ao3 *does* have the way to keep kids out, in the same way a porn site would- there is the warning about explicit content right before you click into a fic. If you click that button you are either Lying about your age or agreeing that you are okay to seeing the content. (also again my library argument, published books dont have that luxury). I don’t think it’s beyond criticism either and there are improvements being made all the time (again, it’s run by a team of dedicated volunteers) but ultimately calling for something to end that can be really truly avoided by not even looking at the website is the ultimate beef I have. I am all for improving the site and making that content easier to hide, or harder for minors to get into, but ultimately again a kid could go to the library, grab a book and read just about anything. I think in some ways ao3 is *better* in that sense. Not perfect, but something worth protecting.

[jungjayhoe-blog]

how i got to know bts !!

ok so i posted if anyone wanted to know how i got into bts and the shit that happened after that and some of yall dropped me an ask and said yes. so here this post is just gonna be all about how i got into them and stuffs feel free to read or skip bc this is basically just me telling a grandma story but i promise you good content (but dont get your hopes up lol) but i warn you this entire post is all around the place and a mess lmao

so i think i first got to know them like early last year bc i started to get into the anime fandom during that time and i made some fan accounts and shit. and then some accs had like korean guys as their dp and occationally had them on their posts and stuffs. i didnt know who they were. at all. no clue. just like, why do people like korean dudes what on earth. then like their captions on their post were sometimes like “hey if you guys like or listen to bts hmu” or something like that but i didnt really bother much about it

but then i think i really got to know about them around may or june last year bc one day my friend came to school and is all like “omg bts !!!” “omgomg bts is so good and cool i love them 1!11!!” “jungkook is my bias !!” and i heard their name around a few times before but once i noticed my friend likes bts i noticed that a lot of ppl in my school stanned them too (you could say that im a blur child whose unaware of her surrounding) then she got my other friend into bts somehow too. and idk why but i felt so annoyed?? like “who is this bts why does everyone know and like them” and i was so petty about it bc so many ppl were into them. so i said i didnt like kpop and bts???? idk why i even did that???? who was i??? i just didnt like them for no reason???? maybe it was bc theyre popular and everyone couldnt stop talking bout them?????? i think it was probably bc i didnt wanted to be mainstream and shit ha ha hA what was i doing.

ok so fast forward to a month ish later. i rmb i was just scrolling through youtube watching videos and then suddenly, a certain video titled ‘DOPE BTS’ was in my recommendations and i was like “h hEY isnt that the grp everyone’s so hyped about” so naturally i got curious and i clicked on it and wow ive been enlighten?? theyre so beautiful and they cant dance and the song is just ,,.,,.. dope. and then at the side of that mv was the ‘FIRE BTS’ mv so i also watched it and boiii was it lit af. literally those are the only two songs from bts that i listened bc i either refused or was lazy to watch and listen more and they were literally the only two kpop songs that i added in spotify and constantly listened to.

you can tell by the date i added that im not shitting you this is legit. ok moving on. so then i wanted to know who is who so i searched them up, took me awhile to know whos who bc im a stupid shit who literally got confused of taehyung and jungkook bc they ‘look the same’ . this is not the end tho, theres more to how i got into them, also not that quick. you know how once you start watching a vid youtube just start recommending you videos that are like related to the vid you first watch? so yea yt just started recommending me some bts vids but i wasnt interested in them bc i didnt wanted to get too into them as i didnt wanted to be ‘mainstream’ but then this particular vid caught my attention, it was the ‘bts getting kidnap’ vid from AHL. so i clicked on it and watched it then i got curious of the show and i wanted to watch more. so i watched a few episodes but then towards the middle of the show i got bored of it???? so i dropped it and i couldnt really get into bts at all so i stopped anything related to them. but i still listened to those two songs every now and then.

towards the end of the year, i was just scrolling through my explore page on my instagram when i saw like this korean dude pinning another guy against the wall? so i was like wow thats hot i need to find out what that is. so i scrolled through the comments and realized that it was a kdrama called ‘The Lover’ (if you watched it youre amazing ily) so i naturally wanted to watch that and i did. it was amazing. you could say the main reason i watched the drama was bc of the gay couple lol. so then i got to know that the japanese guy playing in the drama was in a kpop group called CROSS GENE (YALL BETTER CHECK THEM OUT AND STAN THEM THEYRE TALENTED AS FCUK AND DESERVE SO MUCH MORE STAN TALENT STAN CROSS GENE) so then i checked out a few of their songs and vids and interviews and i actually got so into them??? like wow i love them all so much my babies. and i was quick in learning their names too. so then i naturally drifted into the kpop fandom (im mostly on twitter for cross gene and then tumblr for bts dont ask me why) i was so into them and i loved them with all my hearteu.

ok moving on. again one day a certain bts mv titled ‘Blood Sweat and Tears’ was in my recommendation. i saw the thumbnail and was like wow they look hella cool so i clicked on it. lets just say ive been enlighten and blessed by that mv. like the mv and the costume and the acting and the song is just liT !! by that time i completely forgotten all their names lmao so i started to search about them too. i watched some vids of them (mostly cracks lmao) and i lowkey got into them. but then cross gene was my first priority then bts. i still didnt wanted ppl to know that i got into bts bc i was trynna keep it lowkey, but then a few of my friends knew i was into Cross Gene. i started to watch more and more bts vids and i actually fell in love with them.

but then the main main reason why i got into bts is pretty stupid i swear. ok so bc i was in the anime fandom before this (i still kinda am) i used ao3 to read fics. so i wanted to know if the bts tag had how many fics written and when i saw it i was like wow wtf bC THERE WERE LITERALLY SO MANY FICS??? so i clicked on it and i wanted to read some fics so i filtered it to ‘hits’ and clicked the fics which summary interested me. can yall guess which pairing i clicked on? if you guessed yoonmin yall are correct. so i read the fic and it was so well written?? and beautiful??? but bare in mind that i have never seen the pairing moments or anything bc i just got into them and didnt rlly search up yoonmin moments (same with taekook) or anything. but then most of the fics pairing i saw was those two and namjin so i was guessing theyre the main ships in the fandom. so from then on i started to read more fics?? but then didnt rlly search up for their moments?? so i basically read it bc it was well written and beautiful but not bc of truly liking the pairings????

then i told myself lol youre reading fics but you dont even know what they did to get ship. i went on tumblr to search more bc this is literally where i used to get my anime shit. so i searched up namjin and wow they actually looked like a married couple to me?? and then i immediately fell in love with them. next i searched up taekook and wow they look so cute tgt i rlly like them?? but then when i seached up yoonmin idk why but dont attack or hate me on this,,,..,, but i just,,, couldnt get into them?? ok but first i forgot to say that i had this friend, shes like the only one who knows i was lowkey into bts. one day she send me a pic of yoonmin and then a pic of viktuuri, it was basically a pic of them pressed close to each other like the anime. i was like aww thats so cute omg !!! it was actually really cute, but then idk i just,,, dont see it as a possible ship for me??? some reason i mostly saw them as brothers but then i still lowkey forced myself to ship them bc majority of the ppl in the fandom shipped them. but then i also read mostly yoonmin fic bc it was just so beautifully written fite me on this but its the truth, so you could say that i read them like a normal book, but not for the ship

but then i still search up for some yoonmin moments and this one video was during some photoshoot were sope was wearing their matching track suits and yoongi and hoseok was so hype with each other and i was like thats so adorable?? i wonder whats their ship???? do they even have a ship?????? but then bc it was a yoonmin video it showed how jimin was jealous and some shit like that but i found it cute?? like how a little brother is jealous that their older sibling is neglecting them?? dont attack me on this please i come in peace

then one, faithful day, idk how, but i think it was a post of someone saying that yoonmin was better that yoonseok (no h8 to that person tho) then i was like what is a yoonseok?? then i searched it up and bih you could say it was love at first sight??? i just love their dynamics and everything. so i searched up fics of them and i was greatly disappointed bc there wasnt many??? but then i stumbled upon the fic called On Patrol (this shit is gr8 yall hAvE to read this its so beautiful and amazing and funny and just wow) so i read it and boiiii do i love it so much. then i got introduced to jikook and love them a lot too. but then i also love taekook, then i got introduced to vmin too and i just love it?? basically i just love all the maknae line pairings i dont get how ppl could hate on one of them.

so i just started to search up a lot on yoonseok moments and fics and i just??? love seeing them together???? so then i just got so into them and they like,,,my ultimate pairing now lmao. then as i go on i got introduced to more rarepairings like taegi and jinmin and i just love them too??

ok so onto how hobi is my bias lol. so when i was lowkey into bts, my first bias was like jin. i just??? love him so much???? his dad jokes and personality and windshield wiper laugh was just like endearing to me???? thats when i decided that he was my bias. but then bc i was into yoonseok a lot i watched a lot of sope videos and thus more of hoseok and yoongi screentime. and i just fell in loveeeeeee with hoseok?? like he could be a ray of sunshine with rainbows one min and then be fcuking disrespectful while performing another minute later. so then you could say hobi just somehow worked his way up to be my bias (i still love jin tho dont get me wrong i love the entire bts) but then like, yoongis and jin are like always wrecking my bias list (also namjoon and the maknae line bC dAMN)

so yea this is basically it. i cant believe you manage to read through that entire mess wow heres a cookie for you !! sorry if you were expecting more and found this boring buttttt ¯\_(ツ)_/¯