#also there's like at least 4 typos in here ughhh

[criminalhotch]

Love Triangle~A Dolan Twin Imagine

A/N: I am very new to the Dolan Twin fandom so this is my first writing about them and my first story in a long time. I tried my best and please excuse any typos. Please let me know what you think and if you have any ideas! I would love some requests right now!

*Italicized words are events that happened in the past. 

Word Count: 3,430 

Summary: You are best friends with Grayson and Ethan. In the meantime, you fall hard for one twin while at the same time the other twin is falling just as hard for you. Hence the name, Love Triangle.

You had been friends with the Dolans for a little over a year now. They were like brothers to you. You have to admit that it is hard sometimes keeping your hands and your thoughts at bay, I mean look at them. No one knew you better than Ethan and Grayson Dolan. You were a fan of Dolan Twin Tuesday before meeting them but they didn’t know that and you were definitely in Gray’s lane, not that they weren’t both attractive, I mean they are identical twins. You fell for Grayson’s sweet, toothy grin, his responsible nature over his older twin, how gentle and sensitive he was even though he could be loud and obnoxious with Ethan’s influence. They both had their own characteristics. You figured that out early on. Just because they were twins did not mean they are the same in every way. This is not to imply that they are totally different either. In a year you realized how much they truly care for each other, their family, and especially their fans. They were humble in every way and so respectful of everyone. It was nice to see how fame never rushed to their heads. They always were thinking of ideas and asking your opinions. You had taken a computer class in high school so you often helped them edit their videos just so their workload was a little less. Due to late nights full of editing you would often stay at their house. You always slept in bed with them because they didn’t want you to sleep on the couch.

About 4 months ago

“You wanna just stay here? I don’t really want you driving home in LA at 2 am. Shit gets crazy out there” said Grayson.

“I don’t want to intrude,” you said modestly.

“Intrude?” Ethan said, “You are here almost every day helping us with ideas, props, editing, or making us food. You are more than welcome to stay and I agree with Gray, you shouldn’t go home, it’s late.”

“Alright, I guess I will sleep on the couch” I agreed.

“Who said anything about a couch?” Grayson asked, “You can sleep in my bed, I’ll sleep on the couch or with Ethan”

“I can sleep on the couch, G. It’s not an issue and besides your couch is pretty comfy anyway,” I said feeling bad that he was giving up his bed for me.

“It’s not a negotiation,” Gray said, “you can sleep in my room and I will figure something out.”

“Well you are definitely sleeping on the couch because I am not cuddling with you!” Ethan yelled from the kitchen.

“You know you like it!” the younger twin yelled to the older one.

Grayson turned his attention back to you. “Are you ready for bed?” he asked.

“Yea, kind of,” you said.

“Alright, let’s go” he nudged you towards his room while Ethan munched on a piece of pineapple pizza from a few hours ago.

“You didn’t have to do this, Gray. I was fine on the couch” you said.

“You’re a guest and I am not letting our best friend sleep on the couch when she does way more for us than we ever asked her to” he admitted.

He got the blankets and pillows situated, found an extra charger for your phone and by extra charger I mean he stole Ethan’s. You snuggled in his bed still feeling bad that he was giving up his extremely comfortable bed for you. He shut the lights off and as he shut the door you hear “Goodnight Y/N.”

“Goodnight Grayson” you said.

“Goodnight Y/N” came from another voice that you knew as Ethan’s.

“Goodnight E” you said to Ethan as Grayson finished shutting the door.

You laid in bed tossing and turning. The bed smelled like Grayson and boy does he smell good. You heard your phone buzz multiple times. You had the boys’ twitter notifications on so every time they tweeted you could see them. All of the notifications were from Grayson and it had been almost an hour since everyone went to bed. You decided to text him to see what was up.

You: Why are you still awake?

Gray: I could ask you the same thing.

Y: My brain won’t shut off. Your turn.

G: This couch is not as comfortable as I thought it would be.

Y: You don’t have to sleep on the couch, Gray.

G: Where would I sleep then? On the floor?

Y: No, goofball. We could share your bed. It is plenty big enough for the both of us.

G: I don’t want you to be uncomfortable.

Y: If I was uncomfortable, I wouldn’t have suggested it. Get in here, Dolan!

You hear him get up from the couch and open the door. “You sure you’re ok with this?” asked Gray.

“Grayson, get in here. You are my best friend. I am more than comfortable sharing a bed with you.” you told him.

“If you insist,” he said. He turned the light on real quick so he could see. He had already stripped down to his boxers and damn did you really enjoy the sight of sleepy, almost naked Grayson.

He flicked off the lights and climbed in bed next to you, making sure to leave you plenty of room and if you were being honest it was more room than you wanted him to. You both laid there quietly, you listened to his breaths start to even out and the slight pulse of his body that was synced to his breathing. You were peaceful and comfortable. You had to admit it was nice falling asleep next to someone, even if it was just Grayson. You were nearly asleep when you felt gentle hands wrap around your body and pull you. “Gray, what are you doing?” you asked quietly but no response. “Grayson?” you asked curiously but still no response. He must have been dreaming so you laid there with your back spooning into his embrace. “Thank you, Y/N” he muttered in his sleep. “You’re welcome Gray” you whispered as he nuzzled his face into your shoulder and you both fell asleep.

Ever since that night, you spent at least four nights a week at their house. Alternating between each twin because the other would complain if they didn’t get their fair turn at some pillow talk with you. Ever since that night, your feelings have only grown for Grayson but no one knows it. Tonight you were staying because it was already midnight and it was Monday so the video had to be ready for the morning. “I am starving,” Ethan said. “When aren’t you?” Gray rebutted. “Pineapple pizza?” he suggested. “Ughhh” came from both yours and Grayson’s mouths. “Ok, guess not,” Ethan said sticking his hands up in defense. “What about Taco Bell?” you asked. “Hell yes!” both of the twins responded as they high fived each other.

You returned at nearly one am with two teenage boys with full bellies. “You know how great it is having you around?” Ethan said. “I love you guys. You’re my best friends. You know so much about me and know me better than I know myself sometimes.” you said. “You’re fantastic Y/N. You help with stuff even if we don’t ask and even when we do you have a smile on your face and you kick some major ass” Ethan gloated. “E’s right, you know. You’re pretty badass and we are super lucky to have someone who is an awesome editor and great friend” Grayson complimented. “You guys are pretty awesome too. I hope you know that. Your fans are so lucky to have you, you guys are so good to them and so important to each of them in your own way. I love watching you goofballs do your goofball type things to help anyone who needs a laugh no matter what they are going through” you said while watching a little bit of red rush to both of their cheeks.”Aw, are the Dolan twins little saps on the inside and not always the silly goofballs they are in front of the camera” you said squeezing Ethan’s cheek then ruffling your hand through Grayson’s hair. We all started laughing and headed to the editing equipment. We only had the last few minutes left to edit before it was ready. We stayed up for about another hour and then the video was finished. Ethan exported it to youtube and queued it for upload. “Well now that that’s done, I am beat and if my memory serves me correctly it is Y/N’s turn to sleep in my room” Ethan yawned. “Alright, alright. I’m going” you said sleepily. You had a drawer in each of their room’s and the essential bathroom supplies. Ethan headed to his room while you helped Grayson pick up a little bit. Once everything was done you hugged Gray goodnight and headed to E’s room where he was already half asleep in his bed. “Comfy?” you asked. “Not quite” he smirked, “I will be once you’re in here”. Ethan had been acting differently all day and you couldn’t quite put your finger on it. “Maybe it was just me, my brain had been focused on my feelings for Grayson. Maybe I should just tell E. Who else would be a better person to talk about it other than his own twin brother?” you thought to yourself. Right then you decided what you needed to do.

Ethan’s POV (Earlier that night)

“Y/N is on her way over,” Grayson said. “Ok, cool” I replied. “What’s wrong, Ethan?” Gray asked me. I hated how well he knew me. “Nothing,” I said nonchalantly. “I am calling bullshit bro” Gray commented. “Ok, fine. I think I am falling for Y/N and I don’t know what to do” I told him slightly relieved. “Well you have two options E, you tell her and see what happens or you sit and wait,” he told me which it was the truth. I also hated how wise he was sometimes. “I just don’t want to lose her, bro. She is extraordinary. She does so much for us and never complains about it. I don’t want to throw her a curveball and ruin everything” I told him honestly. “Well your options are to keep using the fastball and stay friends or throw her the curveball and see what happens, maybe it’ll be a grand slam, Eth,” he said to me. “But I could also strike out,” I told him nervously. “It’s totally up to you what you do and I will support whatever decision you make but I just don’t want you to waste an opportunity of happiness. I love you, dude” Gray said. “I know” I sulked “I love you too,” I said as the doorknob started to jiggle. “She is here,” I thought to myself as the beautiful girl I was falling so hard for entered my house. “Hey, Y/N” said Grayson. “Hi boys” she smiled as she shut the door. “What are the plans for tonight?” she asked. “Eating and editing” I explained to her. “Sounds good, you guys ready to start?” she asked. “Whenever you are,” Grayson told her. As we walked to the editing equipment I started to think, tonight was her night to sleep in my room, maybe I could just take life by the balls and do it. I mean you only live once right?

Ethan’s POV

I had tried to be flirty all night and send some hints to see if there was any reaction but she’s oblivious. I got into bed while waiting for Y/N to join me. “Comfy?” she asked. “Not quite” I smirked, “I will be once you’re in here,” I said trying to flirt again. We laid down in my bed after she had shut the light off. It was dark and silent. The only things you could hear were Grayson brushing his teeth in the other room and our breathing. “Y/N” “Ethan,” we said at the same time. “I have something to tell you,” she said to me as she turned towards me so I could see her profile just slightly due to the moon peeking through the curtains. “I do too but you go first” I suggested hoping she would tell me the same thing I want to tell her. “I wanted to tell you this first because I trust you” she started “I am falling for Gray. Like I think I love him, E. I don’t know what to do” she finished. My heart shattered. I mean looks wise we’re twins but our personalities are so different. I knew my chances were at a zero now. “Eth,” she said catching me from my thoughts. “Have you told him?” I asked her. “Well of course not” she admitted to me. “Maybe you should tell him,” I said. “I can’t. I don’t want to ruin our friendship. Not only his but ours too. You guys mean so much to me and I don’t want to risk losing that over some stupid feelings” Y/N said. “They aren’t stupid,” I said trying to mask my sadness and a little bit of anger. “What were you going to tell me?” she asked. “Umm. I don’t remember, it was just a dumb joke. Maybe I will remember in the morning” I said as I turned over so I didn’t have to see her. I wasn’t mad at her. You can’t help who you fall for. I am not mad at Gray either, it’s not like he was trying to get her to fall in love with him. I am mad at myself for not trying to tell her earlier.

Y/N’s POV

Ethan did not have the reaction you thought he would. You didn’t know if it was because he was tired from editing or what. You were pretty sure he was asleep so you snuck out of his bed and down the hall to Gray’s room. You quietly knocked on the door and opened it slightly. “G?” you whispered. “What’s up Y/N?” he asked. “I need to talk to you,” you told him. “You can tell me anything,” he said as he sat up in bed. He turned his bed lights on so we could see each other. “Grayson Bailey Dolan, I have held this in for a long time. I have never told you or E this but I used to watch you guys before we were friends. I watched Dolan Twin Tuesday religiously” you admitted and he started chuckling. “Seriou-” he interrupted you but you cut him off in return. “Let me finish, please,” you said and he nodded. “As embarrassing as it is, I was a Grayson girl” you admitted and you saw a slight smirk grow on his face and you hoped it was a good sign so you continued. “I have been friends with you guys for a while now and I have learned to love both of you, for who each of you are as individuals and in that time, my fangirl feelings started to turn into real life feelings. I fell for your goofy smile, your crazy laugh, your eyes that are so full of love for everyone around you, and just who you are as Grayson. Not as Ethan’s twin or one of the Dolan Twins but as you, Gray” you finished with a sigh of relief. He looked at you but you could not read his expression. He then looked down and sighed gently. Raising his head slowly he looked at you with sincerity in his eyes. “Ethan didn’t talk to you did he?” Gray asked and you were extremely confused. “Umm not really. I talked to him about my feelings but he did not say a whole lot” you explained. “Well he has a lot to say, believe me,” Grayson told you. “ETHAN!” Grayson yelled. Soon enough a sleepy and groggy Ethan walked in. “This better be important Grays-” he stopped when he realized you were sitting in his little brother’s bed. “Why didn’t you tell her?” Grayson asked him. “ I couldn’t, not after she told me some things,” he admitted to Gray. “What? That she has feelings for me because she just told me and that’s why I called you in here” Gray explained to his confused older brother “Tell her now” he ordered.

Ethan’s POV My heart started to pound. This shit was nerve-wracking as hell. “Y/N, ever since we became friends, I thought you were the most gorgeous girl I had ever laid eyes on. My heart skips a beat every time you come over. My stomach twists a little whenever you say my name. My eyes go weak at the sight of you and my brain goes all fuzzy. I like you, I want to be with you, and I think I even love you but I’m also not going to stand in the way of your happiness if you love Grayson” I told her as honestly as I could. She sat there flabbergasted at my confession. “Oh E,” she said as she jumped up and off of Grayson’s bed running to me. I caught her in my embrace. “No wonder you were so different today,” she said to me. “You should have told me this earlier whether it had been earlier today or months ago,” she told me. “What does this all mean then?” I asked her. “I don’t know Ethan. Grayson is pretty hot” she teased me and I narrowed my eyes at her while furrowing my brow. “Go lay down and we will talk when I get back to your room in a couple of minutes. I am going to talk to Grayson” she explained to me and I complied walking back to my room thinking of all the possible outcomes whether they be good or bad.

Your POV

“Thank you, Grayson,” you said turning to him. “For what?” he asked. “Being a good brother to E” you explained. “He’s been my best friend since birth. I love him more than anyone. We were talking about his feelings for you right before you got here and I have known for a while. Even if I did feel the same way I could never hurt Ethan especially over some girl” he told you teasing you at the end a little. “You and I both know I am more than just some girl, Dolan” you corrected him. “I know, I know” he chuckled. “I am sorry if I have ruined things between us” you admitted. “You didn’t ruin anything. Feelings are normal and sometimes they are messy. I love you like a sister, Y/N and you know that. Go talk to E before he loses his mind in there” Grayson urged. You take a couple steps closer to Gray as you wrap your arms around his torso and hug him. “You are incredible, Grayson Dolan,” you said with your head on his chest then releasing him. “Thanks, Gray, for everything” you said to him. “Any time, Y/N. I will always be here” he told you. “Love you G” you smiled as you opened his bedroom door to leave. “Love you too, Y/N” he said as he crawled in bed. You shut his lights off then closed his door heading back down the hallway to Ethan. You had no idea what was about to happen. You opened the door to Ethan’s room. “Ethan?” you asked. “Yea?” he responded. “You want to talk some more?” you asked. “Mmmm tired” he mumbled, “In the morning.” You got in bed with Ethan just like you did a few hours prior. You laid for a couple minutes before his hands pulled you into him. “Ethan” you giggled. “What?” he sleepily asked. “This doesn’t mean anything,” you told him. “Yes, it does and you know it” he whispered trying to be serious. “E, I have never thought of you in this way before” you admitted. “That’s ok, we can do whatever you are comfortable with,” he said as his head fell into the crook of your neck with his nose nuzzling into your hair. “E, you know I wasn’t trying to hurt you earlier when I told you about Grayson,” I said quietly. “I know, Y/N. You had no idea and it’s not a big deal. You are laying with me right now and that’s all that matters” he said into your hair. You smiled as you felt him pull you tighter into him. Maybe you hadn’t chosen the right Dolan, after all. Maybe you weren’t meant for Grayson but for Ethan and the thought of that didn’t seem so bad.

[fijimurmaider]

I remember making a post some time ago about OCD and...

I've finally gotten around to typing up this symptom list with some details. First and foremost, I may list some obsessions and compulsions I used to have and carry out and I will list those that have been with me forever. The most specific ritual thing at the earliest I can remember, I must have been about 5 years old. I don't remember watching a film that gave me an idea or even anyone planting the idea in my head. My sister and cousin were hanging out (I dunno why I'm putting this here lol) and I was up in their business. They were talking about weird people they knew. Anyway, I guess it freaked me out on my way to the bathroom (which was like 20 feet away from where they were hanging out) and when I sat down to pee, I pulled back the shower curtain almost without thought. I was so proud that I had done this totally brilliant thing to ward off the weirdos... and it's been with me for almost 20 years. I've tried going to the bathroom with the curtain closed and I'll just repeatedly check behind it. At this point, it's easier to just keep the thing open. A few years ago I developed this habit while IN the shower. I will look out just to *make sure.* Also, I know I've posted about the trichotillomania before, which was also something I experienced when I was young and I shamed myself out of it from like the 6th to the 9th grade, doing it only sparingly because I was 99.99% sure that someone would pick up on it and harass me over it and I'd be the freak forever. It's a daily thing for me now. Sometimes stress makes me do it more, but a lot of times it's automatic and I just *do* it without even thinking. I've also developed a skin picking problem as of probably 3 years ago and just learned to deal with it for a while until the end of 2016 when I started working a second job. Sometimes I'd pick my scalp until it would bleed. I've definitely kept my foot off the pedal lately, but I'm still picking. ***We'll get to the list after I say this*** In 2012, I got super fucking sick and it scared me SO fucking bad that I refuse to be around sick people, especially the person that gave it to me (and kids.) Christmas this year was really difficult because my nephews had been sick and I didn't want to be anywhere near them. I ran in circles about the whole situation and even told my mom I was considering buying face masks for this occassion... which was apparently the wrong idea because my mom literally laughs at everyone else's anguish and I'm sick of talking to her about issues tbh because she's always been total shit about it. I eventually calmed down when I found out it was a sinus infection and my brother's girlfriend made him sound sicker on FB than what he really was (I want to strangle her for the shit sometimes... she's JUST like my mom. Everything is ten times worse than what it is, she wants sympathy all the time and then I freak the fuck out because I think I'm going to get some bad virus that's going to incapacitate me for days.)*** 1. Fear of bodily waste and secretions (though I try to rationalize and say they're unfounded... I can't agree with that 'logic.' They are gross...) 2. Concerns about sticky substances and residue. 3. Need to align objects just so. 4. Sexual thoughts that one views as unacceptable/inappropriate. I'm going to go into this one for two reasons, the first reason is because sometimes the fear of child molestation is symptomatic of OCD, and I am super confident that I'm not going to harm any children. The second reason is because my boyfriend is going to read this and think I'm talking about gay porn or something. I'm not entirely certain how many people envision others naked or what their sex lives are like, but I tend to do that. I don't deem homosexuality unacceptable which is why I don't want to include it even if those thoughts arise. Sometimes I will hear things about some sexual deviant and imagine it, sometimes I'm appauled by it. Not so sure how much I should have included this point because I'm not sure how normal it is to do this. 5. Repeating activities. I'll including 'checking' in with this. I check the door multiple times. I'm glad most rooms I need to access go past the door and that I can just look down at the bottom of the steps to accomplish this. I also fear ever having multiple doors in a home because I know I'll have to keep up with them. I've always been repetitive, ESPECIALLY at video games. I have played against bosses before in games and either allowed myself to die or dragged a game on longer than it needed because I felt the need to just keep doing it. I used to have 4 games total that I'd keep going over the same parts and doing the same things over and over, never progressing or I'd beat the game and go right back to play it again. I play the Sims rather often and even then, I can never finish a game for a multitude of different reasons. I believe this may be why my favorite games are puzzle-related like Tetris, Dr. Mario, etc. 6. Rewording, rewriting and re-reading. I handle the work e-mails from time to time and let me tell you... I could not be a more annoying cunt about it. Yes, I understand that to some extent, being careful and proof-reading are totally acceptable... but maybe not to the extent that I carry on. My boyfriend types and re-reads an e-mail then sends it. I re-read their e-mail, I type up my reply, proof read it. Change something. Proof read it again and the unnecessary process just goes on and on until I'm happy with what I've got. I also take FOREVER to read books (I'm not an idiot, I'm good at reading...) because I get stuck on sentences and continously read them over and over. If your book has a typo, it's even worse. 7. Intrusive, violent thoughts of others harming others, others harming me, and me harming others. 8. Food rituals like not letting foods touch and being a childish prick when they do or pretending I'm *totally stuffed and just cannot handle anymore* This is why my jerk ass INSISTS on fixing my own plate. 9. The old "even numbers are good and odds are bad!" 10. Dishes can never be clean enough, dish inspection before using them like my fucking life depends on it. I'll even run my fingers across a plate before eating off of it just to be sure. This also makes it uncomfortable to eat at other people's homes as I don't want to look like an asshole. 11. Need for symmetry. This includes becoming angry when people have facial piercings all over the place. Eyebrow pierced to the left, nostril pierced to the right, etc. 12. "Hoarding" useless objects. This is less of an issue to me than it used to be. I have to talk myself up before I throw certain things away, but I've at least worked on this especially after seeing my grandmother's hoarding and how she REFUSED AND YELLED AT PEOPLE over her pile of Sunny D jugs she was DOING ABSOLUTELY NOTHING WITH. I'm not the cleanest person, but hoarding does bother me, even if I do it mildly. 13. Blinking/staring rituals. I wish I could explain this in a way that didn't sound totally dumb. It goes beyond having a lash in your eye. Sometimes my eyes don't feel like they (I hear you groaning out there because I'mma say it...) like they're open at the same level and sometimes squinting and then trying to open my eyes as wide as possible and vibrating them is the only thing I can do to fix it (but it really doesn't. My fix? Wipe around them with anti-bacterial wipes or use eye drops. One eye always seems to be err...oily? and the other always seems dry and fucking closed!) I also have eye issues, so wearing glasses is a total pain because I HAVE TO CLEAN THEM 234436236 TIMES A DAY. If I engage in ANY physical activity, the number is much higher. If there's a smudge or streaks on my glasses, life will not continue, sorry. 14. Touch/tap/rub. I have to touch things (so long as they're not slimy or wet... unless it's the shark I touched at Ripley's Aquarium...) My cat is the biggest victim... her fur is so soft I just keep doing it until she runs off or starts trying to eat me alive. The tapping is more recent, but I do it with my thumb and middle finger and only on the left hand (also on my keyboard because the sound it makes when you gently tap the keys...) Also I just generally have a lot of issues with my hands and I do weird stretches with them? 15. Also I have weird toilet rituals that I'm not getting into on here. 16. Closet door in the bedroom must be checked and shut at night. I'm also the most difficult person when it comes to getting into bed comfortably. There's just so much. I'm constantly worried about fires, floods, tropical storms, tornados, blizzards, burglary, murder, being mugged, car accidents, any other transport accidents, I've thought about driving my car into off the road and face first into a hill on the interstate (in all fairness, it could have been the depression running rampant in me at the time,) I've worried that I was going to grab some rando's ass in the store because he was bent over (and I totally wouldn't even do shit like that to ANYONE, but it scared me to even think I could do it...) I hate vacations because I hate worrying about my pets and whether or not they're being baby-sat or whether or not someone in my building is going to burn the fucking place down while I'm gone. ughhh. Not even a complete list, just all I felt like writing out right now.