#also the outside is super cool the lot is named 80's arcade in the gallery i'm glad i ran into it

[elderwisp]

[afterspark-podcast]

G1 Episode 18: Transcript

Episode Show Notes

[This can also be found on AO3!]

[Stinger]

S: Because, like, psychological horror could be interesting.

O: It could.

[Intro Music]

O: Hello, and welcome to the Afterspark Podcast, an episode by episode recap of the Generation 1 Transformers cartoon. I'm Owls!

S: And I'm Specs!

O: And today we're going to be talking about episode number 18, The Immobilizer! Let's talk about giant robots today, shall we?

S: Yeah.

O: And today, on show and tell--we mean The Transformers , Wheeljack wants to bask in his co-workers acclaim.

S: He has created the “Wheeljack Instant Immobilizer.”

O: That's a mouthful. Oh God! It abbreviates down to like, W-I-I, so it's the Wii? [Laughter]

S: As long as he copyrights it, they can't have the Wii in their universe, I guess.

O: [Laughter] I mean, it’s in the 80’s so it’s before the Wii came out. He theoretically could!

S: Yup. That, and I mean and it's maybe different enough that-

O: They wouldn't--yeah.

S: Have any issues.

O: Who knows!

O: [Laughter] Does Nintendo even exist in this world?  I don't know!

S: Who the heck knows?  Maybe, or maybe it's Mintendo.

O: [Snorts]

S: And everything would be just slightly to the left.

O: [Laughter]

S: The peanut gallery comes closer to witness the scientific marvel.

O: To show off Wheeljack's invention Hound makes a hologram of Laserbeak as a test subject.

S: I don’t know why they're doing a hologram. Would it freeze a hologram?

O: I don't know. I had that exact thought when we were watching it. Like, wait, is this even work or is Hound just going to simulate the--the effects? How does that work?

S: I feel like they didn't think this through. OK.

O: Do they think anything through?

S: I don’t know. And Spike calls him that, “Decepticon Dirty Bird Laserbeak” or the hologram.  He calls the hologram that.

O: Shut up, Spike.

S: And then Ironhide walks in, and Ironhide obviously wasn't briefed on any of this.

O: No, none of it!

S: So, Ironhide walks in, sees Laserbeak, and begins firing wildly in the main room with Teletraan 1,  knocking several of the stalactites down on top of his allies.   They didn't think this through.

O: Yeah, you--I feel like there should be like, I don't know, maybe a like, an Ark wide memo.  Hey we’re testing out some tech, don't freak out or something?

S: Yeah.

O: But no, no, we never think that far ahead.

S: Or going outside to test things.  Though we'll see that being a problem later.  Spike brushes himself off tells Ironhide, “It was a hologram, buddy.”

O: He brushes himself off really strangely too. Like, cuz it doesn't--he's not moving like, you would expect when you're dusting yourself off.  It almost looks like he's polishing something that isn't there.

S: Yeah, it's just weirdly animated.  To make it even better Ironhide makes perspective his bitch as he crosses in front of Spike, despite clearly being behind him--there's some scale issues, it's weird.

O: Yeah, me thinks they did not layer things correctly.

S: Yeah.

O: Ironhide, to his credit, is very apologetic and digs Wheeljack out of a pile of rocks.

S: Pile of rocks that Ironhide created, so like, let's be honest here--

O: [Laughter]

S: --and there's some weird spec--perspective issues here too.  Blah...

O: Yeah, there's just a lot of weirdness here.  Wheeljack’s invention was broken in all this chaos, so he sends Bumblebee and Spike into town to pick up a ‘polarizer.’

S: Yeah, yeah, sure, I'm sure you can just pick that up at the grocery store, buddy, or well, considering that we did research, maybe the camera store?

O: Yeah, a polarizer, I think when we looked up, was a camera piece but--but it does not look like a camera piece when Iron--agh--Wheeljack screws it on later.  So I'm not really sure if it even is remotely the same thing or if the writers picked a word at random that sounded good and sciencey!

S: I mean, how would you pick something up in town that is to scale with whatever the hell Wheeljack wants to use it for?

O:  Exactly!  Exactly. [laughter]

S: Who knows?

O: We cut to a scene of Bumblebee and Spike chillin’ in an arcade where Bumblebee is surrounded by a crowd of people playing a game that appears to be called ‘Robot Resource.’

S: [sighs] With a Spike looking like the hippest dude there.  He's just leaning up against that thing looking cool.

O: He has a giant alien robot as one of his best friends, can you really get any hipper than that?

S: Well, compared to everyone else in the crowd, not really.

O: No.

S: And here is where we meet Carly, our only human female main character in the series.  

[Sorry, guys we both completely blanked on Marissa, though it does seem like she’s not in it as much once she is introduced as Carly is in the first couple of seasons..  ~Owls]

O: It seems like Spike is smitten instantly, but Carly is much more interested in Bumblebee.

S: After introducing her to Bee, Spike is suddenly super, super interested in returning to the Ark with Wheeljack's, you know, shopping list thing.

O: I think he's jealous.  I think he's jealous what she wants to talk to Bee and not him.

S: He gets really...it seems like he gets bashful or something, I don’t know.

O: Yeah, I'm not really sure.

S: It’s not very clear.  There's only so much you can communicate with this badly animated episode.

O: Yeah, yeah.

S: And then Spike and Bumblebee leave the arcade through what must be an extremely oversized door.  Cuz, you know, Bumblebee fits perfectly.

O: Yup!  The arcade, uh, as we see when they step outside, is apparently called Robots Video Arcade.

S: Well, I guess they just really wanted to get into...all of the robot mania that must have happened when the Autobots and Decepticons turned up.

O: Oh my god, that absolutely would have been a fucking thing!  There would have been like, robots everywhere. I wonder if there would have been toys?  Would there have been knockoff toys? Would they, like, have tried to like contact the Autobots for licensing deals?  Somebody please write this, now I'm curious!

S: I don't know if they would have tried contacting them.  They probably wouldn't--well maybe, who knows?

O: Yeah, I think it depends on like, what company was doing it but now I'm just imagining like would you have some poor, like, lawyer trying to get a hold of the Autobots but they'd be--would they try to get a hold of the Cons?  Like, would--would actually, the Cons be okay with that if they were getting paid money? Like, it is a very good question!

S: Swindle would be the one who'd get in contact with them for the licensing whenever he showed up.

O: Yes.  I was gonna say, he's not there yet though, to our knowledge.

S: Oh, he's definitely not there yet.  He's still in robot prison.

O: Oh right, he's the one that was in robot--one of the ones that was in robot prison.

S: Well, personality store prison.

O: Eh, he’s in prison.  [laughter]

S: Yeah.

O: I dunno what he did to piss off Shockwave (presumably), but he did something!

S: I think Megatron’s the one he pissed off, I'm not sure but that--

O: That, that wouldn’t shock me.  Considering Swindle’s track record on pissing people off.

S: Yeah, I mean considering he sells his teammates--

O: We'll get into that later.  He co--Swindle shenanigans, if you will.

S: Yeah, eventually we will.  There are so many. And then Carly exits the arcade jumping into her magenta convertible to follow them and it's amazing.

O: [laughter] Carly is a badass!  She’s like, “All right! I'm just gonna follow you home then!”

S: Pretty much!  And meanwhile, Bumblebee drives like a goddamn idiot.  I'm surprised he hasn't accidentally killed Spike.

O:  [laughter] Oh, no, no, no, that was last episode!

S: Cuz he swerves out into traffic!  Like, I don't think he even stops--

O: Nope!

S: --at the end of the street, he's just like VROOM!

O: I think the better question here is--how is there no honking involved from the other drivers here?  If you driven, you make a mistake--people honk at you! Are these poor people just too used to crazy Autobot driving in their town now!?!

S:  Honestly, that's terrifying and it makes you wonder how the Autobots don't have an absolutely metric fuck ton of tickets.

O: I-I love some fanfic that like, um, they're just kind of the running joke is the Autobots pay all their tickets but the tickets are like, sent directly to the Ark because half the time the Autobots won't stop for cops.  Especially if your name is Sideswipe!

S: Yeah, either that or Sideswipe has like, a collection of five hundred and it his pride and joy or something?

O: Yeah, yes I like--either of those extremes are pretty good I think.  Um, however, Bumblebee is pulled over by a very scary cop. His face does not change for the entire shot!

S: And--and this is while--he’s--while Bumblebee is being pulled over, not once he's out of [the car.]

O: Yeah, yeah.

S: I feel like we should specify that.

O: Right.

S: But the man looks very caffeinated.

O: He’s got like, an open mouth- it just looks very, very strange.

S: They wanted to save some money.

O: I--that’s what I guess it was, but what kills me here is that the cop didn't even apparently stop them for reckless driving.  Which we've established Bumblebee was driving very recklessly but because Spike is too young to be driving.

S: And the thing is I don't think Spike is even in the driver's seat.

O: I couldn't remember if he was.

[While they’re driving Spike is in the passenger side, but he got in on the driver’s side.  ~Owls]

S: I think he’s actually in the passenger seat so basically Bumble--Bumblebee gets pulled over for not having anyone in the driver’s seat.

O: I don't know--he said--he says Spike was driving when he pulls him over so...

S: Maybe?  I could be very wrong.

O: Yeah, that's the reason the cop gives, that's all I'm getting at.

S: Yeah, let me see if I got a picture...no, I just got a picture of Bumblebee getting cut off by the police officer.

O: Right!  Right, because the cop totally cut him off when he got pulled over too.

S: Yeah, it looks like he's literally going to hit Bumblebee into the street sign.

O: [laughter]

S: Yeah...and then Bumblebee transforms to set the cop straight cuz there's this dialogue where Spike tells the cop about Bumblebee literally being an Autobot and the cop comes back with, “He's not a Bumblebee cuz he doesn't like, buzz or whatever.”

O: Or, “If it's a Bumblebee let me see him buzz or something,” and Bumblebee’s like, “Uh, maybe I can settle this without actually buzzing?”  [laughter]

S: Yeah…

O: To paraphrase.

S: And…

O: Ravage suddenly tackles Bee right the fuck out of nowhere.  Like, he's not been seen in this episode the entire time and just suddenly, Ravage!

S: How did no one notice this large metallic panther?

O: In all fairness, we've established Ravage can turn invisible--

S: Ohh…

O: --so maybe he was invisible in the background for some amount of time and carefully not stepping on people.

S: Yeah, well, I don't know, god. [sighs] Ravage clearly sticks some sort of device onto Bee and somehow no one notices.

O: No one notices!  Bee doesn't notice, Spike doesn't notice, nobody at the Ark notices.  It's visible on his fucking chassis, come on! Uh, then Spike and the cop actually use jumper cables by hooking it up to the cop car, uh, to shock Ravage to get him off of Bumblebee.

S: Somehow it actually gets referenced in one of the things that I--in one of the pieces of fanfiction we’re going to be recommending today.

O: Oh!  That's interesting.  Um, but to be fair, Ravage had already uh, done his goal.  He'd already attached the device to Bumblebee, so technically he did what he wanted to do.

S: Yeah, yeah.  He fulfilled all of his goals for the day, I guess.  And then the cop does mention that speed laws applies to Autobots too before he lets the two go on their way.  So maybe he did think they were going too fast?

O: But that is definitely not what he opened with.

S: Yeah.

O: Meanwhile, presumably, Carly’s gotta be lurking in the background somewhere because she's gonna show up later which is also kind of funny uh, assuming that she saw the entirety of this exchange.

S: I kind of like to imagine her having a camera or whatever.

O: [laughter]

S: She’s just taking--she’s doing Autobot sightings.

O: Oh, see I just like the idea of her kinda, like, squinting over her steering wheel like, “Did he just get attacked by a giant metal panther?”

S: Yeah…

O: Which is just amusing to me.

S: It is, and then, so once they return to the base Wheeljack does not give a fuck why they’re late, just that they are late.  And then he's like, “All right, back to the thing!”

O: Yeah, he screws on the polarizer they brought him and then he is ready to go, back right where he left off.

S: Pretty much, he's very--very goal-oriented.  He knows what his priorities are.

O: The device Ravage stuck to Bee turns out to be a camera, with Megatron and Starscream watching Wheeljack’s demonstration. WHHHHY!?!  Why was this even needed!?! Laserbeak goes in and out of the Ark--literally not figuratively--ALL THE TIME.

S: I imagine Laserbeak's got better things to do with this time.  I mean, he has to have better things to do with this time than following Bumblebee.

O: He’s on vacation?

S: He didn't want to miss a soap operas.

O: Ooh, a hundred percent believe Soundwaave would do this so Laserbeak could watch his soaps.  Headcannon accepted!

S: They also may have wanted a better vantage point than Laserbeak would be able to get while hiding, I don’t know.

O: Maybe, but considering what happens next, I'm not even sure if I think that makes sense, whatever. I--Laserbeak is at home watching a soap operas, change my--ehh, don't bother trying to change my mind this is what I believe.

S: And so, the Autobots roll out to go elsewhere for Wheeljack to test his invention, so they don't have a recurring, um, a recurring thing like what happened with Ironhide.

O Although, presumably sending a memo would solve this, but okay!  Uh, Ironhide is then stuck on watch duty once they arrive to wherever the fuck they are in the middle of the forest.

S: [sighs] Yeah...and then Wheeljack activates his device and freezes a waterfall.  And probably kills a bunch of fish.

O: Eh, I don’t know--like if they're just frozen in time then presumably they'd be unfrozen and be fine but I don’t--

S: Well--

O: --we never see them freeze a living [organic] thing.

S: The closest we get is when it happens to Wheeljack but the thing is it's not necessarily freezing things in time, it's freezing their molecules or their atoms or whatever they are.

O: Right, right, but I’m saying that like, I don't know what that looks like for them because it could just be that, oh, Transformers don't need to breathe and so Wheeljack is fine.  But it's like, is that why or does it freeze them in such a way where they're just basically held in stasis for an hour or whatever.

S: That's a good point, but if it freezes them and their bodies still need like, oxygen or whatever…

O: Then yes, we killed a bunch of fish.

S: Yeah, they're the real questions.

O: These are the real questions, that we're not going to get answers to.

S: Yeah.  They say this water is now harder than anything else they know.

O: Okay, but why?

S: Through the power of Wheeljack says so, that's why.

O: Of course!  Naturally, Brawn tries to punch it.

S: It's his way.

O: Of course it is.  Spike then ruins everything uh, stepping on the remote and activating the device once again but Wheeljack heroically tosses Spike out of the way and gets immobilized himself.

S: It wasn't even aimed low enough to actually hit Spike, but okay.

O: [laughter] Ratchet inspects Wheeljack by yanking on his head and then is like, “Oh no, we don't know how to reverse this.”

S: I'm sorry Ratchet, Wheeljack did not plan for reversing things apparently.  He didn't think this through very well.

O: Yeah, although also insert joke about, “Oh god, my husband.”  Um--

S: Yeah…

O: --Carly catches up and accidentally distracts Ironhide for long enough that the Cons are able to attack which further feeds into Ironhide's insecurities.

S: Which will magically dissipate after this episode ends, but I mean how did we not hear what the hell was going on with the Decepticons attacking?

O: I--like--you have a gia--you have multiple giant mechs. Uh, I think, you know Soundwave and Megatron obviously, in robot mode then they have three jets flying through the air.  So I don't know how you don't hear that!

S: Megatron demands the Immobilizer but Trailbreaker calls him a Mega-turkey.

O: That’s--that's not even a good insult.

S: it really isn't, but when are they?

O: They just keep using ‘turkey’ to insult Cons, how do they even know what turkeys are?

S: Maybe Sparkplug told them some human insul-insults and I don't know maybe they were around for Thanksgiving or something.

O: I'm still 90% certain they don't actually know what a turkey is.

S: Except maybe Hound, we did look up that thing on turkeys’ geographical range.

O: [laughter] So, for--for future reference uh, I think turkeys are mostly in the Midwest and the eastern parts of the United States, but there is one subspecies of turkey that can be found in Washington and Oregon.  So we were like okay, theoretically they could have seen a live turkey, I guess.

S: They could have possible hit a live turkey!

O: [laughter] That too!

S: It's the Rio Grande subspecies--

O: Or something like that.

B: Yeah.

O: Megatron orders an attack, the Autobots hide behind Trailbreaker’s shield, Starscream proceeds to run his mouth off (again) and then jumps in the air to attack the Autobots from above.

S: To combat this assault Sideswipe jumps into the air and tackles him.  Sideswipe was flying by the way.

O: Yeah, he does have a jetpack.  We've established that, that's fine.

S: Um-hm.  Causing his fire to go erratic and hit the Cons who scatter.

O: Sorry, causing Starscream’s fire to erratic--

S: Yes.

O: --and hit the Cons who scatter.

S: Yeah, and then the Decepticons take cover behind some trees.

O: Okay, I'm pretty sure they should not be fitting behind these trees as well as they are because those trees look huge.

S: When did we end up in the National Redwood Forest--or the Redwood National Forest?

O: I-I-apparently that’s where Wheeljack goes to test his dangerous inventions! [laughter]

S: Someone--

O: They drove all the way to California for this!

S: Why, WHHHHHY!?!

O: [continued laughter]

S: [sighs] And then Skywarp proceeds to shoot a ‘bouncer bomb’ that's basically...um, it basically turns this entire fight into a wacky pinball game as it ricochets around the field.

O: I'll have you know we did actual research on what the heck he said here because--and looked it up because I thought it sounded like ‘pulsar bomb’ and Specs thought it sounded like ‘cluster bomb’.  So according to the TF Wiki, it's a ‘bouncer bomb’ which is just as silly as you'd think.

S: It just bounce, bounce, bounce.  And Megatron gets so sick of this thing that he alts into his gun mode and Soundwave shoots him at it.

O: Insert your own joke here.  Of course, this also hits a tree knocking it over right on top of Optimus Prime, who just so happened to be holding the Immobilizer.

S: It looks as silly as it sounds.

O: It does, it's delightful!

S: Yeah, we got photos.

O: We did.

S: Um, and then Ironhide attempts to get the Immobilizer before the Cons do but gets shot by Megatron for his trouble.

O: Starscream grabs the Immobilizer. Ironhide shoots him hit--with the oil from his arms and he falls on his face.

S: And yet, the Immobilizer still just rolls right to Megatron because obviously that's where it wants to go.

O: Obviously!  Starscream yells that his telemeter has been damaged as he walks into trees over and over again after getting up.

S: I think it's telemetry.

O: Uh, was it?  Oh, I thought it said telemeter but, eh.

S: It might be…

O: Either telemeter or telemetry, I don’t know.

S: It doesn’t matter.

O: Because I looked it up.  ‘Telemetry’ actually is a real word.

S: Yeah.

O: But it's like, I think the act of reading or transmitting something.  So that's why I was like, okay is--did they say telemeter, and like telemeter’s supposed to be the part of their biology that does it?  I don't know.

S: Eh, I don't know, uh

O: Point of the fact is Starscream is screaming while walking into trees.  That's really all you know!

S: it's really goofy.

O: It's really goofy and delightful, yes.

S: And then Optimus points out that Megatron is losing his soldiers and Megatron says his soldiers don't matter as long as, “I get what I deserve!”

O: Speaking of which, at the exact moment Starscream makes his way over to the rest of the group of Cons, the water that they're all standing on unfreezes and washes them all downriver.

S: It's great.

O: It is amazing.

S: The Autobots proceed to head back to base, taking was still frozen Wheeljack--who at this point is being held by like, all the minibots.

O: [giggling] Yeah, you couldn't give it to like Optimus or something, no, no we got to make all the minibots carry him.

S: Yeah.

O: Back at base, Ironhide is whining about this being all his fault.

S: And Ratchet is not having any of his shit.

O: He also threatens to disconnect Ironhide’s synthesiser.

S: Um-hm.

O: Ironhide feels like he's too old to be useful and he says he's going into retirement.

S: What do retired Autobots do?  Do they yell, “Dagnabbit!” at I retired Decepticons?  Do they, do they sit on the front porch and wave, wave their fists angrily a young new Decepticon hoodlums messing around on their lawns?

O: Do they whack each other over the head with canes?  The world may never know!

S: Carly is joining in on this pity party, blaming herself and apologizing to Ironhide.  Cuz they took her back with them.

O: They did take her back with them.  Uh, which then Ironhide shows Carly around the base including their ammo storage area with a bunch of giant missiles.

S: Missiles we never see them use.

O: Missiles that don't seem to match the specs of any Autobot weapon we will ever see in this series.

S: I mean maybe those missiles that they had when they crashed that they can't use but…

O: Maybe?  It still just seemed weird that--that like, they walk into this room there's just a fuck ton of missiles?

S: Yeah.  Ironhide’s like, “We wish we didn't have them either.”

O: Yeah, which I mean, yeah?

S: Yeah, and then Carly just pockets a freaking grenade because--

O: Fuck yeah Carly!

S: --the girl knows what she wants.

O: She does!  And she wants to blow shit up.  Wheeljack finally unfreezes and worries that they'll be doomed if the Cons can figure out a way to make that effect permanent.

S: I guess Wheeljack knew that the thing wasn't permanent, so that's why he didn't care.

O: Yeah, probably, but he may have also still not known what it did to organic life which is why you don't want Spike to get hit?

S: Yeah.

O: I'm willing to bet a lot of money Wheeljack froze himself multiple times during that--making that damn thing to be honest.

S: Oh, probably.  Spike notices Carly is missing and he and Bumblebee go after her.

O: Carly is fucking amazing.  When we next see her she is in a boat in the middle of the ocean in scuba gear ready to storm the Decepticon base which would seem to suggest that:  One, their base is not that deep under water as she does not need deep diving gear and/or the writers have no idea what deep diving gear is. Pick one.  And that it isn't that far offshore as she is in a pretty small boat.

S: She's also wearing a full wet suit instead of like, a bikini or something--

O: Which is nice honestly!

S: Um-hm.  She's a prepared lady.

O: I like her.

S: Yep, and presumably that the Decepticons headquarters is just general knowledge...somehow.

O: Yeah, which is also pretty funny to be honest.  It's just like, do the fishermen of the area just know to avoid like this mile wide area around it?  And it's just like, don't look directly at the birds, don't look directly at the birds!

S: Yeah, either that or she is just enough--interested enough in Transformers that she's found all this shit out.

O: Which I would also believe to be honest.

S: Mm-hmm.  Soundwave notices her intrusion nearly immediately and sends Laserbeak after her.

O: And she actually put up a pretty good fight considering she had no weapons on her at the time.  Like, I think she beans Laserbeak, or tries to with her uh, scuba diving air supply?

S: Yeah, she has no--she gives no fucks.

O: She gives no fucks.

S: The Autobots are alerted to Carly's distress by the Sky Spy.

O: The Cons actually recognize Carly from the fight earlier in the day and assume the Autobots will send someone after her so they're basically holding her hostage.

S: Pretty much, pretty much.  Um, this ta--the Skyfire taxi service drops Ironhide off with Bumblebee and Spike so they can get Carly back together.

O: Underwater, uh, Carly's earlier placed bomb--because she's stuck one on the base--detonates and the Cons leave Carly in a room that is quickly filling with water.  Uh, but then Ironhide busts in and saves her.

S: Ironhide knows what he’s about.  And on the shore they meet up with Spike and Bumblebee, but Megatron appears and uses the modified Immobilizer on Ironhide, freezing him.

O: Optimus shows up and shoots Megatron.  Megatron falls over and Starscream declares himself the new leader.

S: It is funny.

O: It is very funny but Megatron is fine.  He just took one shot, you know compared to explosives that were uh, [clears throat] powerful enough to move an entire fucking planet.  Starscream, I think you're jumping the gun a bit here, AH HEM, pun intended. [laughter]

S: For some ungodly reason, Rumble has the Immobilizer remote and is controlling it.

O: I mean he's doing a good enough job I just think it's weird they handed it to him?

S: He looks so serious.

O: He does!  Autobots are being immobilized left and right, but Carly has a plan.

S: Always good to have a plan.  She gets Brawn to dig a tunnel underneath the Immobilizer with Jazz distracting the Cons with the powers of MUSIC!

O: [laughter] Really loud music.

S: Yeah.

O: Carly comes up from below, swaps two wires, and everybody unfreezes.

S: Needs to swap the polarity or something?

O: It’s--

S: I don’t know, it's like the positive and negative wires.

O: I don't know, it's literally like, the only two wires in there when she opens the damn thing, it's great.

S: Yeah. [sighs] Laserbeak attempts to recover the Immobilizer but Ironhide fights him off, redeeming himself. And I guess Laserbeak was done with his soaps at this point.

O: He must have been done with his soaps uh, when the Autobots win, Megatron throws an honest to god fucking tantrum.  It is amazing, but the Cons do retreat.

S: Yup.  Later in a blazing sunset Ironhide tells Prime that he's coming out of retirement, thus completing his character arc.

O: The like, one character arc he'll have in this series, I guess?

S: Yeah.

O: Wheeljack asks Carly how she figured out her brilliant strategy of swapping two fucking wires.

S: She spouts some technobabble and sh--we we find out that she's going to college at MIT.

O: Spike likes older women.

S: He does.

O: Spike asks Carly out for a chocolate soda.

S: Is that an egg cream?  Did he just ask her out for an egg cream?

O: Where do you even get those? [laughter]

S: Um, soda fountains, apparently.  I don’t know.

O: Where those things...where those still a thing in the 80’s?  Guys, guys, guys we weren’t born yet, where those still a thing in the 80’s!?!

S: I don’t know, I wanna know, um, we looked up--uh, we looked it up.

O: We looked up what a chocolate soda was, because we were like--is it an egg cream? And we don’t think it’s an egg cream, but-but is it an egg cream?  We-we have no idea.

S: Let me look up egg creams, but an egg cream is--

O: We did, we did, and it didn't look like it was the same thing because the recipes were different.

S: Well, it is a carbon--it's basically a carbonated chocolate milk.  I think that chocolate soda was basically an addition of ice cream.

O: Yeah, I think you--cause we--I read it and you were like, that's basically a shake.

S: Um, they leave immediately, jumping into Carly's car and riding off as the episode ends.

O: Join us next time in, “Dinobot Island, Part 1.”  Buckle up for Dinobots, dinosaurs, prehistoric islands, and time travel.  Woohoo! [laughter] It's gonna be a ride.

S: Yeah.

O: My dear Specs, what is our fanfic for today?

S: Okay, so we have two Carly based fanfiction recommendations for today.

O: Woo!

S: The first is, He Will Meet No Suave Discussion by ShadowShock.  Uh, G1 cartoon, rated K+, Gen, no pairings.  Uh, Characters are: Carly, Chip, Wheeljack, various Autobots, and Ravage.  And in summary, ah, “Don't mess with Chip!”

O: [laughter]

S: And our theme for this one or character rec is: Carly being a badass.

O: Carly is lovely.

S: And it's a one shot.  And our second-second one is Fifty Dollar Data Plan by Retrolex and it's G1 cartoon continuity, rated T for teens, Gen, no pairings.  Carly--and the characters are Carly and various Autobots. And in summary, “Time to upgrade that data plan, Carly.”

O: Because like, remember this is like, the 80’s, or possibly the 90’s when they're writing this and like, you have a bunch of robots that can freely submit info--you know--transmit information--

S: Freely text.

O: Yes.

S: Freely text.

O: You know what the--do you remember what data plans were like in the 90’s?  They were not good. [laughter]

S: Yeah, and I think the opening line in it is, “Did you know, that texts from giant robots count as long distance?”

O: [laughter]

S: It’s something like that, it’s something like that.

O: Something like that.

S: It's great, and um, basically our theme for that is: Carly!  And it's a one-shot.

O: I've actually read this one it's very short but it is quite funny.

S: It is, it's basically Carly recounting a whole bunch of text messages she's gotten from giant robots.

O: Which is a great--just-just a good premise, come on.

S: Um-hm, and basically bemoaning the fact that she'll probably be broke for the next year.

O: Forever!  Yeah.

S: And that just about wraps it up for us today.  Remember to check us out on Tumblr or Pillowfort as Afterspark-Podcast for any additional information, show notes, or links we may have mentioned.  You can also find us on Facebook and Twitter at AftersparkPod (all one word) and various other locations by searching for Afterspark Podcast such as AO3, iTunes, Google Podcasts, Stitcher, and Youtube, just to name a few.  Till next time I’m Specs!

O: And I'm Owls!

S: Toodles.

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