#also the antagonist reminds me so much of ninja it's hilarious given that he's in this movie as a random streamer guy

[carbonateddelusion]

okay, here's the lowdown, I'll try to keep it spoiler free

Free Guy is a movie starring Ryan Reynolds that takes place in an MMORPG. The game's like Saint's Row mixed with GTA and Fortnite. It follows Guy, an NPC who becomes sentient, and his exploration of his world post-awakening (that is going to come to an end soon because they're making a sequel).

It has a lot of stuff about being anti-corporate baked into it, but it kinda rings hollow given how much money they spent to get people like Pokimane, Ninja, and Jacksepticeye to record parts for them PLUS the loads of money they must've spent on the CGI animation.

It's very "how do you do fellow kids"- a lot of the stuff in the climax has references to things like Portal, Avengers (they had the dude who plays Cap show up actually), Gmod, and Fortnite. Not to mention flossing. A surprising amount of flossing.

It's very over the top at some points- like, supposedly Guy is SUCH a big deal that they're streaming his shenanigans to those NYC billboards on the sides of skyscrapers. But I feel like the sorta "satire" and critique angle falls flat when you take into consideration how hard they're trying to appeal to "gamers" and the younger generation. Also, it has the nonsense lingo of a script written by someone with only a very basic understanding of how video games work.

It also had a few Woke(tm) jokes about white privilege and gun violence that felt very, very forced. It's like they're trying to shove in another point to get the Liberal Youth to like it.

But it could have been WAAAAAY WAY WAY worse. It could have been SO MUCH WORSE. Reynolds is extremely charming (as always) as Guy, which helps balance a lot of the other nonsense out. It's a pretty fun watch. Just maybe not something you wanna pay too much attention to, yk?

That's just my opinion anyway; I'm not any full-time critic or whatever. I watch a movie once a year pretty much

who wants to hear my film review of "free guy"

[strawberryspooktacular]

STRAWBERRY SPOOKTOBER WRAP UP

To wrap up Strawberry Spooktober, we have selected our best pair picks sorted into the best, the worst and so bad it’s good. We also chose 3 personal favourites and a few Honorable mentions. V stands for Vic N stands for Nic

Pair favourites:

Good:

The Ritual (Before: 9.5, After: 10.5)

V: I liked the monster and the design of said monster, but I really liked the fact that the monster was a monster of guilt, or rather a monster that fed on guilt. Being Native, specifically Cherokee, this monster really like, brought my ancestors up from the dead and I immediately wanted to worship the monster.

N: This movie was atmospheric, it had a definite link to Norse mythology and the runes on the house and trees were accurate. It was an interesting and different idea of a horror movie based on Norse mythology. The only downside was their lack of knowing directions, THE SUN IS IN THE WEST OR THE EAST. 

Tucker and Dale vs. Evil (Before: 9.5, After: 10.5)

V: I liked the hillbillies and the way the college kids all died. Even if that’s an awful thing to say.

N: This movie was a comedy horror which is always a favourite genre to mix. The twist of the classic hillbillies being the protagonists and the college kids being the antagonists makes for amazing hyjinx. Chad the villain was 100% terrifying and creepy while Tucker and Dale made for compelling unlikely heroes

Mandy  (Before: 9, After: 10.5)

V: NIC CAGE GOES BATSHIT INSANE AND KILLS A LOT OF CULTISTS. AND THERE WAS A PENIS ON THE SCREEN FOR WAY TOO LONG. 10/10 WOULD RECOMMEND. 

N: Mandy is an insane look through the eyes of a mad man. Nicolas Cage does LSD in the woods and is attacked by LSD bikers and cultists. It’s funny and insane, the visuals are great and the funny bits are hilarious.

So Bad It’s Good:

Tremors  (Before: 9.5, After: 9.5)

V: Kevin Bacon’s Ass, especially in those Jeans™️. Being from Oklahoma, this movie actually really scared me when I first watched it (because it takes place like an hour and a half drive from me) and rewatching it reminded me of the first time I watched it with my Grandpa.  

N: A delightfully 90s film, so 90s it might as well be singing Smash Mouth. A younger Kevin Bacon plays an amazing character and the pure idea of the movie was amazing. The only problem was the slightly anti climactic ending. 

Sleepwalkers  (Before: 8.5, After: 8)

V: I loved the cats (and the actors) and I kind of loved the monsters, but not the design. They could have done the design of the monsters much better in my opinion. 

N: A look into one of the more strange movies of the Steven King franchise. The concept of the monsters was good but the execution was lacking. However, the movie has some funny moment and some incredible animal actors, particularly Clovis the cat.

Texas Chainsaw Massacre (Before: 8, After: 8)

V: I loved the 70s feel of the entire movie and the insanity of the whole movie, but the abuse of antiques and instruments really hurt me. 

N: This movie captures the feels of 70s horror movies perfectly. Really the movie is made to be corny and so bad it’s good. Leather face was fun and weirdly relatable but the sheriff was creepy, although he was made to be that way.

The Worst™️:

Silence of the Lambs  (Before: 6.5, After: 6.5)

V: I really didn’t like this movie. It gave me really bad anxiety for some reason and even now, I’m not sure why it happened. I did like the characters and the actors’ take on the characters. 

N: This movie was good in its plot and main characters. Hannibal and Buffalo Bill are especially creepy and a perfect snapshot of a psychotic mind. However many of the characters felt under developed, such as the creepy 

28 Days Later  (Before: 8, After: 4.5)

V: This movie was just awful. The zombies didn’t really make sense and acted more like humans instead of actual zombies. And we didn’t even see the zombies that much because there were only like 10 zombies. However I did like the actor playing the chained up zombie. 

N: This movie was strange, it felt like three separate themed movies pushed into one. The beginning of the movie was a classic zombie movie set in London, then it turned into a family fun road trip before ending on a dystopian after apocalypse movie. The music never fit any part of this movie, the main character turned into a ninja 5 days after waking from a coma, there were 10 zombies in the last hour of the movie and they acted like humans. Also IT RAINED ONCE IN THE ENTIRE MOVIE, SET IN ENGLAND. 

The Borderlands  (Before: 7.5, After: 5)

V: THE ASSHOLE OF THE CHURCH; how did that ending fit into the movie? I did like Deacon and Grey, and the setting of the movie itself was good. I did like that for being a found-footage film, the video wasn’t shaky.

N: This movie started well, this movie actually was a good movie for the majority of the running time. The characters were well developed and well balanced in humour and seriousness, the setting was pretty and it was a different take on a found footage movie. HOWEVER THE ENDING WAS TERRIBLE, CONFUSING AND OUTRIGHT WRONG.

Vic’s Picks:

Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark  (Before: 9, After: 10)

I really enjoyed the monster designs and the fact that at least one of the monster’s actors was actually doing the stunts that are in the movie. I loved that they didn’t make the ending sad, like they could have, but they gave the characters a happy ending after all the nonsense they went through.

As Above So Below  (Before: 7, After: 9)

I wasn’t expecting this movie to be one of my favourites, but it was. I loved the story and the locations that they filmed at and the characters. I wasn’t a huge fan of the jumpscares, but the ones they did have weren’t unnecessary.  

My Bloody Valentine  (Before: 9, After: 10)

I love Jensen Ackles and I loved the twist ending. The 3D was also really well done and hilarious to watch in 2D, because it didn’t really work as well as if we had watched it in 3D. I do have to say that the villain design was terrifying and I did enjoy hearing my History major girlfriend geek out about coal mines. 

Nic’s Picks:

The Pyramid  (Before: 9, After: 10)

This movie was a different take on the Egyptain pyramid horror movie, not focusing on the classic mummy but instead on Egyptain mythology, specifically the gods and the journey to the underworld. The father and daughter relationship was well developed and the found footage format was given up to ensure that important scenes were captured well toward the end. And it was cute to see my girlfriend geek out on the Egyptain gods.

Trick r Treat  (Before: 10, After: 10)

Four different movies about a horror filled Halloween night, all linked together in the end and done well. Each story was unique with its own twists and amazing monsters. The children in this movie were adorable, even the evil one.

Troll Hunter  (Before: 10, After: 10)

A Norwegian horror movie in a food footage style but told well through the eyes of college students doing a report for a project. Hans, the troll hunter they follow, is wonderful in his grouchy demeanor of a man worn with the world. The trolls themselves were wonderful in their lore and the use of CGI.

Honorable Mentions:

Grave Encounters  (Before: 8, After: 9)

V: Surprisingly, I really liked the jumpscares in this movie.

N: A found footage movie set in an abandoned asylum with a lot of good jumpscares and a creepy atmosphere overall.

Apostle  (Before: 8.25, After: 8)

V: I really liked Micheal Sheen in this movie and I really liked the cult, before they started killing people.

N: A cult centred horror movie set on a small island, Micheal Sheen is always good and the monster design was incredible but the movie was a little slow to start with some plot holes.

Dog Soldiers  (Before: 9, After: 9)

V: The werewolves were so beautifully designed and I really liked the story and the actors themselves, ESPECIALLY THE DOG ACTOR. 

N: A werewolf horror movie set in scotland with great characters, well designed werewolves and THE BEST DOG.

Joy Ride  (Before: 8.5, After: 9)

V: The truckers and the whole concept of this crazy journey that the characters take throughout the movie was really good.

N: A very American horror film set around a very creepy truck driver that relies on atmosphere and actual threat rather that jumpscares. And Jim Beaver is always a plus.

Thirteen Ghosts  (Before: 7, After: 9)

V: I loved Dennis and the makeup was well done. 

N: A ghostly horror movie set around a strange mansion and a ritual, the make was done well and the characters, particularly Dennis and Maggie, were well developed and fun.

Puppet Master  (Before: 6.5, After: 8.25)

V: Cuddly Bear was great, the actors were great, and the cast was diverse. 

N: This movie had well designed scary puppets, good physical effects and a great cast of characters.

Deep Blue Sea  (Before: 9, After: 9.5)

V: The sharks were beautiful and I loved that the sharks had a reason for attacking instead of just attacking for the sake of attacking.

N: A different take on shark horror movie with Samuel L Jackson and LL Cool J as amazing characters with some incredible physical effects.

Winchester  (Before: 7.5, After: 9.5)

V: I really liked the costume and makeup design for this movie. 

N: A movie centred around a real ghostly horror story and house with amazing effects and a great cast with developed characters

Don’t Knock Twice  (Before: 6.5, After: 8.5)

V: The ending was a huge twist, the monster design was beautiful, and the actors were great at setting the scene for the scary things to happen.

N: A Welsh horror movie with a well written story, great cast with a good range of emotions, a lot of terrifying jumpscares, a good monster design and a twist ending.

[cviperfan]

OKAY DEATH NOTE 2017 THOUGHTS

Under a cut for length not spoilers because honestly who fucking cares

-So the movie commits many sins but principle among them are two 1) The Death Note is basically just a vehicle for gore porn, pretty much indistinguishable functionally from any other 'Cursed Object' type horror movie.  There's lip service paid to the suspense trappings of the original work but Wingard is clearly much more interested in the kind of brutal deaths that can be extracted from the Death Note's flexibility of options and far less in the moral quandaries that such an object would create, and Wingard's pre-release interview that expressed an interest in creating a Hard-R version of the story was at least for me a clear indicator that he was Wrong for the project, since grisly deaths are not what makes the story interesting, or in fact are even a priority.  The fact that the default way the Death Note kills in the original canon is a heart attack (by all intents a fairly 'clean' method of death) is there for a reason, as is the 2017 version's curious decision to specifically omit that detail.

(In Wingard's interview he expresses a desire to include the "adult themes of anime" which specifically include "nudity, swearing, tons of violence" to him, which suggests that his familiarity with the medium starts and ends with Ninja Scroll and nothing else and that he probably didn't actually watch Death Note outside of a cliffs notes he had an intern scribble out or something)

2) And this is much more fundamentally antithetical to the original work, but Light's transition from Villain protagonist to Reluctant Misunderstood Anti-Hero.

in the original canon it's certainly possible to find Light's end goal aspirational, even if the actual empathy with Light himself doesn't last very long, and part of the paradox of the manga/anime is Light being a pointedly and unmistakably Terrible Person while also being a compellling and interesting protagonist.  Even if you don't necessarily want Light to succeed, watching him operate and maneuver through various obstacles on the path to his goal is fascinating on its own terms.

Death Note 2017!Light, by contrast, is given great, excruciating measures to make him Highly Sympathetic to the audience, and indeed we are meant to interpret him specifically as a Good Kid Who Took A Wrong Turn and is now Way In Over His Head.  His mom died at the hands of Joe Chill a crook who got away with it, giving him a nice clean Batman justification, he's bullied at school, is extremely concerned with his actions being percieved as good and perhaps most crucially, tries to limit his body count outside of criminals (American!Light reacts extremely negatively to the mere IDEA of killing his dad when he calls Kira out, whereas canon!Light, while certainly not enthusiastic about the idea, was right there weighing the pros and cons, reasonably prepared to do so if he proved to be enough of a problem).

He doesn't even use the Death Note initially of his own volition; Ryuk has to be there to straight-up Devil on His Shoulder-him into it (in a hilariously over-the-top introduction, more on that later), and Misa (sorry, MIA) is constantly pushing him to go darker when his resolve wavers, and indeed seems way more into the idea of using the Death Note on a visceral level than Light is.

All of this is contrary to one of the crucial points of Death Note in its original form-- Light was a person of privilege surrounded by a loving family and with infinite potential who had absolutely no reason to have become a power-hungry arbiter of "justice" with a god complex, and yet when a bit of power happened to fall into his hands that's exactly what he became.  He didn't need a traumatic event or a bad situation to become Kira, just the possibility that he could do it and get away with it.  

But even in a Death Note adaptation where the first death we get is someone's head being cut off at the jaw with a fucking ladder, this seems like too dark a conclusion for Adam Wingard to come to, so even when his body count starts rising we get constant excuses and reminders that he's A Good Kid, Honest, He's Really Trying To Do The Right Thing He's Just Got So Many Bad Influences That Pushed Him This Way and in the face of the original work's frankness (and Wingard's talk of "adult themes") this just comes off as cloying and toothless.

Nevermind that in light (heh) of the extremely whitewashed nature of this adaptation, the almost fetishistic effort of the writing team to sanitize Troubled White Teen Boy Light Turner (Who Has His Whole Life Ahead Of Him) of as much active culpability as possible is certainly quite telling isn't it

Okay that out of the way, time for some just Random Bad Shit lol

-just so we know exactly what we're dealing with and what director Adam Wingard thinks is cool one of the very first shots of the movie is Misa (sorry, MIA) at cheerleading practice but see she's not like THOSE OTHER SHEEPLE who are all ACTUALLY PRACTICING AT CHEER PRACTICE SHE'S A COOL DISAFFECTED REBEL BECAUSE SHE DOESN'T WANNA PRACTICE AT CHEER PRACTICE god look at these PHONIES all having fun and laughing OUR GIRL IS SO COOL SHE'D MUCH RATHER SMOKE AND LOOK BORED WHAT A BADASS -And like later in the movie she's all to Light "I'M A CHEERLEADER nothing i ever did mattered before i met you!!" like then WHY ARE YOU A CHEERLEADER WHY WERE YOU THERE IN THE FIRST PLACE?????? YOU CAN DO LITERALLY ANYTHING ELSE MY KIDDO -So the Light/Mia relationship is kind of a mess because not only do they try and play it up as the emotional lynchpin of the narrative (no, for real) but the reversal with Mia being the one who becomes super obsessed with the Death Note (even to the point where she tries to set up Light to die so she can get it) and her being the Other Bad Influence on Light really manages to make even the original Death Note's bad track record with its women fucking shine by comparison.  If the original Light/Misa dynamic was basically a Joker/Harley setup written by someone who understood that it's an abusive relationship, new!Light/Mia is the Hot Topic Romanticized Joker/Harley but also Joker is the Real Victim here apparently -Like they literally get off to using the Death Note together and make out while scanning the internet for targets-- like there COULD absolutely be a place for there to be commentary on Bored Well-Off White Kids abusing power for the fun of it, but again there's no room for insight when there's those practical gore effects to throw around -Dear god there is not a HINT of subtlety in this fucking thing, an especially egregious stylistic choice when the manga/anime is (while ofc prone to Light's.... extreme and borderline comically evil reactions) overwhelmingly grounded with-- especially compared to many anime and manga in general-- comparatively moderate supernatural elements and touches, especially in terms of its visual detail and art direction.  Wingard's Death Note on the other hand, has thunderstorms AND flickering lights that accompany Ryuk's appearances until they... don't (ARE YOU PICKING UP THE SUBTLE FAUSTIAN ELEMENTS HERE AUDIENCE????????), a trip through a Spooky Dark Abandoned Mansion that features a close-up of a busted doll accompanied by a creepy child's laugh NO REALLY IM SERIOUS and deaths that frequently end in torrents of blood because that's what we're really here for apparently -Speaking of a lack of subtlety, while I get the logic in casting Dafoe for Ryuk he ends up being both underutilized and a sadly uninteresting choice, since the apparent direction for him to go more Norman Osbourne really takes away any degree of ambiguity Ryuk has as a patently neutral party in the whole thing (at least as far as the original goes; this really wants to set him up as a Red Herring possible antagonist in a thread that goes absolutely nowhere and ends up meaning nothing).  Like I think he could have worked if the performance was a little lower-key and he had not-terrible writing to work with, but at least someone's having fun in this mess so wth -L fans are gonna be fucking pissed off because HOLY HELL they didn't not fuck him up either -Canon L: Sherlock Holmes but with sweets instead of hard drugs and also he sits weird sometimes -Death Note 2017!L: Fucking Weirdo Asshole With Bizarre Rituals galore and also he can't sleep without Watari awkwardly singing the greatest hits of Celine Dion SHUT UP IM SERIOUS because okay -So the wierd race bullshit definitely doesn't stop at Light because the framing of L (who is played by Keith Stanfield, a black actor and OH BOY I CAN ALREADY HEAR THE IMNOTRACISTBUTS COMING IN) is pointedly, aggressively antagonistic.  Rather than giving Stanfield the collected, analytical, somewhat awkward detective characterized in the source material, Death Note 2017's L's erratic tics and behaviourisms are meant to make the audience find him uncomfortable rather than compelling in his own right, because autistic-coded super detective is such an interesting and not at all gross and played-out formation of a character.  Because again, the movie has no real interest in being suspenseful or focusing on the cat-and-mouse game, L figures out that Light is Kira with very little deduction or buildup, and indeed aside from a pointedly brief midpoint conversation and a completely stupid and pointless chase scene near the end, the two barely interact, so the whole aspect of two strong wills directly competing within inches of each other is tossed aside. -Also WHO THE FUCK THOUGHT A SCENE OF A YOUNG BLACK MAN BEING SLAMMED INTO A TABLE AND NEARLY CHOKED OUT BY A WHITE COP WITH ANGER ISSUES AND A SELF-RIGHTEOUS STREAK IN DEFENSE OF A GUILTY WHITE KID WHO ULTIMATELY GETS AWAY WITH IT WAS A GOOD IDEA TASTE WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT -Speaking of poor taste we couldn't find more than one Japanese actor for a speaking role (Watari, natch, with barely a handful of lines) BUT WE CERTAINLY COULD FOR THIS SEX CLUB SCENE WITH A ROOM PACKED FULL OF DEAD JAPANESE PEOPLE IN FETISH GEAR -Ryuk himself also looks Fuckin Bad and they know it since the overwhelming majority of his shots are him BLURRED THE FUCK OUT IN MIDDLE DISTANCE OR OFF IN THE CORNER -"many people have tried to write the 4 letters in my name into the Death Note but nobody has gotten farther than 2 :)" your full name was literally in there but ok -"all the deaths have to be physically possible" Ferris Wheel magically collapses for no reason to facilitate a death -"I need L's full name to kill him, I'll just take control of Watari with the Death Note EVEN THOUGH WATARI IS A FUCKING ALIAS" and also if this was in fact his real name and L knew it WHY WOULD HE HAVE LET HIM GO AROUND WITH HIS FACE UNCOVERED LIKE????????????????????????????????? -Reveals L without ceremony during the nightclub murder investigation/pretends like there's a mystery and a reveal to be had for the audience and awkwardly attempts to re-enact bits of the original introduction to the character anyway

Ultimately there's more that I'm probably forgetting but wow Death Note 2017 is just impressively dumb.  Like, original Death Note could get pretty dumb especially in the last half, but that was more a case of working itself into a corner over time and its reach extending beyond its grasp on occasion.  This just has no aspirations to even try.

Like, shit, I honestly don't like Death Note all that much but I can at least appreciate that it has some weight to it and made an effort to build a complex character-driven narrative while proposing a thoughtful moral paradox, which is more than I can say for the 'fans' who wanted to adapt it and decided this was the best possible approach lmao