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ghsface · 3 months ago

Text

It's okay to cry. It's okay to not be okay...

Bau team x bau!reader

Sumary: Sometimes I need to remind myself and others that survival doesn’t just mean being okay, it means learning to laugh at what scared us. And if I don’t do it, who else will?

Warnings: mentions of attempted suicide, lots of blood, some dark humor at the end, cuts on arms, bathtub full of blood, no use of t/n (if you don't feel good reading this please don't read it, I also tried to approach this topic with too much care and delicacy and respect, I hope not to offend anyone)

Author's note: September is suicide prevention month. "suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem" is something that you always hear people say.. and it's true.

speaking from my personal experience, it's something that was on my mind many months many years ago, and I was able to put those thoughts aside thanks to people who I thought were never going to help me, it was a long and very hard process but now I can tell you that I'm completely fine, once they told me if you have people to write a farewell letter to it's because at least someone cares about you, you may have heard this before but it's true, you will always have someone to support you even if you think you have no one, also once they told me if you ever have these thoughts again or even try again ask for help it doesn't matter who just ask for help, whatever way ask for help, those words marked me almost all of my adolescence tbh and it helped me, I hope that if you are going through this alone, you can talk to me, my messages will always be open for whatever it is help or just talking, feel free to do so, if you read this up to here I really appreciate that you did<333

The BAU team was uneasy. It wasn't often that someone on their team disappeared without a trace, much less you. Emily Prentiss had been the first to notice your absence, as you never missed work without notice. Days ago, you had requested a brief leave for personal matters, but you hadn't returned to the office or answered any calls or messages since. As the days passed, worry turned to fear.

JJ, Spencer, and Emily decided to go to your house, as they could no longer ignore the fact that something wasn't right. The atmosphere in the car was tense. JJ kept his hands tightly on the wheel, while Spencer stared out the window, his mind wandering through thousands of possibilities, each one worse than the last. Emily, in the backseat, checked her phone over and over again, hoping in vain to receive some news from you.

When they arrived at your house, the silence was deathly. The windows were closed, and the door seemed intact, but there was something in the air, something that made them hold their breath. Emily pulled out her gun, and after exchanging a worried look with JJ and Spencer, they decided to go inside.

“anyone home?” JJ shouted as she walked down the hallway to the entrance. There was no response.

Spencer’s heart was pounding as they made their way into the living room. Everything was in order, not a sign of a struggle, but something wasn’t right. Every step they took, every corner they inspected, increased the feeling that something terrible had happened.

It was Emily who first noticed the bathroom door ajar. She approached it slowly, holding her breath, as a dark foreboding took hold of her. Pushing open the door, the scene she found was enough to make her stomach turn.

There you were, in the bathtub, submerged in the red-tinged water. Your arms hung at your sides, covered in deep cuts, blood still slowly flowing from the wounds.

“Oh my God!” JJ exclaimed from the doorway, her voice cracking.

Spencer walked into the room behind her, and for a second, the world seemed to stop. She’d never felt such paralyzing fear, such sharp pain in her chest. The air became thick, almost impossible to breathe.

Emily was the first to react, rushing to you, her hands shaking as she tried to pull your unconscious body out of the water. “Call an ambulance, JJ!” she screamed, trying to stay calm, though her hands were shaking uncontrollably.

Spencer knelt beside you, her eyes flooding with tears. “You can’t do this... you can’t leave us like this,” she whispered, her voice thick with desperation.

JJ tried to call 911, but the desperation in his voice made the words catch in his throat. He finally managed to give the address, but the operator informed him that the ambulance would take a while to arrive due to an accident on the main road. Without wasting any more time, JJ made a decision. “We can’t wait, we have to take her ourselves!”

Without thinking twice, the three of them carried you out of the bathroom, wrapping you in towels to stop the bleeding. Spencer held you, his hands still stained with your blood, as they rushed you to the car.

The trip to the hospital was agony. Every second that passed, every breath you took, or stopped taking, was like a stab in the heart of each of them. Emily, driving at full speed, struggled not to lose concentration while JJ, from the backseat, pressed on your wounds, trying to keep you conscious. Spencer kept talking to you, murmuring words of encouragement, pleading with you not to leave, to stay with them.

Finally, they arrived at the hospital, and the doctors immediately took you into surgery. The BAU team, who had been alerted, arrived soon after. Hotch, Rossi, Morgan, and Garcia joined Emily, JJ, and Spencer in the waiting room. The hours passed slowly, each minute a silent torture as they waited for news from you.

Spencer kept staring at his hands, your words echoing in his mind. He couldn’t shake the image of you, limp and lifeless in that bathtub. He felt helpless, riddled with guilt for not realizing what was happening to you. He loved you, more than he’d ever dared to admit, and the thought of losing you was too painful to bear.

Finally, the doctor emerged from the operating room, his expression grave. “She’s stable for now, but the blood loss was significant. We had to suture multiple wounds and are monitoring for possible nerve damage. It’s a miracle they brought her in on time.”

The relief was palpable, but so was the sadness. They knew that even though you had survived, the battle wasn’t over. They would have to face the reasons why you had gotten to that point, figure out what had happened, and most of all, be there for you, to help you heal.

Spencer walked up to the ICU door, looking at you through the glass. His eyes filled with tears, he rested a hand on the glass. “I’m sorry… I didn’t realize how bad you were,” he whispered, feeling the weight of guilt crushing him.

Emily and JJ accompanied him, each feeling a mix of relief and pain. They knew the road to your recovery would be long and difficult, but they were determined to be by your side every step of the way, no matter what it took.

When you were finally able to open your eyes days later, the first thing you saw were the tired but relieved faces of your teammates. You knew you had plunged into a darkness that seemed insurmountable, but seeing the people who loved you by your side, you knew you wouldn’t be alone on the road back to the light.

The dim glow of the hospital’s fluorescent lights welcomed you back into the conscious world. Your head hurt, and you felt the weight of the blankets on your body, but what caught your attention the most was the soft sound of someone breathing next to you. You slowly turned your head and met the tired, worried eyes of Spencer, who had been watching over you.

“Spencer…” your voice came out as a whisper, rough from lack of use and medication. You were surprised at how weak you felt, as if a large part of you had vanished.

He sat up instantly, his eyes filling with relief at seeing you awake. “You’re awake…” he said in a tone that reflected a mix of joy and pain. “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry... If I had known… If I had noticed something…” The weight of his guilt hit you hard. Even though every fiber of your being was exhausted, you couldn’t let Spencer carry that pain. But before you could answer, the door to the room opened, and Emily and JJ rushed in, closely followed by Hotch and Rossi.

Emily approached you, tears in her eyes, but keeping her composure. “You scared the hell out of us,” she said softly, gently taking your hand. “You don’t have to go through this alone, understand? We’re here for you, always.” JJ sat on the other side of the bed, his blue eyes filled with concern. “Whatever you’re going through… you can tell us. You don’t have to carry this alone.”

The room was filled with a heavy silence, everyone waiting for you to say something, anything to help them understand what had brought you to this point. You knew they were worried, that they wanted to help you, but it wasn’t easy to put into words the storm that had been building inside you.

“I’m sorry,” you murmured, your voice breaking, feeling tears build up in your eyes. “I didn’t want them to know… I didn’t want to be a burden.”

Spencer looked at you in pain, his hands shaking slightly as he took yours. “You would never be a burden to us. Never.”

Hotch, who had been watching silently, stepped forward. His voice was firm, but with a tinge of compassion that he rarely showed. “You don’t have to face this alone. Whatever you’re feeling, whatever led you to this, we’re going to be with you every step of the way.”

Hotch’s words, so simple and full of promise, were what finally broke the dam. The tears you’d been holding back for so long began to flow, and with them came a wave of emotions you’d been suppressing: the despair, the loneliness, the pain that had consumed you in silence.

Emily wrapped her arms around you, holding you with a strength that anchored you in the present. “It’s okay to cry. It’s okay to not be okay,” she whispered, her voice shaking with her own pent-up emotions.

For the first time in what seemed like forever, you felt like you could breathe, if only barely. The lump in your chest didn’t go away entirely, but the presence of your peers, your friends, gave you the strength you needed to start talking, to share what you’d been keeping to yourself.

You told them about the pressure you’d felt, the feeling that you were failing, that you couldn’t live up to expectations. You told them how each day had gotten harder to bear, until one day you just couldn’t take it anymore. The words came out in fits and starts, mixed with sobs, but they listened to each one with patience and understanding.

There was no judgment, just support. And as you spoke, little by little, you began to feel the weight that had been weighing you down begin to lighten, if only a little.

When you finally finished, the silence that followed wasn’t awkward. Spencer was still holding your hand, and his gaze reflected both pain and resolve. “You’re not alone in this. You won’t be anymore,” he said firmly.

Hotch nodded. “We’ll have to work together to get through this, but we will. We’ll help you find the support you need, and we’ll be here for you, too.”

Rossi, who had been watching from the back, came over and gently patted you on the shoulder. “Remember, that’s what family is for, to be there in the worst times and the best too.”

At that moment, although you knew the road ahead would be long and difficult, you also knew that you wouldn’t walk it alone. The team weren't just your colleagues, they were your family, and with them by your side, you began to believe that, perhaps, you could find a way to heal.

And although the darkness still lurked, the light of hope, however small, began to shine again.

ONE YEAR LATER...

1 year into recovery brought with it a new version of you, a version that, while still scarred, both physically and emotionally, was fully committed to moving forward with humor and gratitude. You had rejoined the team fully and found a balance between work, your personal life, and your healing process. Your colleagues had learned to appreciate your new style of humor, even when you surprised them with your comments from time to time.

One afternoon, while you were in the office cafeteria with Emily, JJ, and Garcia, you decided to break the silence with a joke, something you had perfected over those past few months.

“Did you know I’ve developed a new skill?” you said, as you poured yourself a coffee. The three womens looked at you curiously. “Now I can say that I’m an expert in abstract art. I just need something sharp and a bad day.”

There was a moment of surprise, but then Emily was the first to laugh, shaking her head. “You know, no one handles dark humor like you.”

JJ nodded, smiling. “True, but at least now we know you do it with complete command of the situation. Although I will never stop being amazed by your ability to make jokes out of something so serious.”

“Well, my traumas, my jokes,” you said with a wink, and the group burst into laughter. They had learned to take your humor as a sign of your progress, a way to remind yourself and them that you were in control, that you wouldn’t let yourself be overcome by the darkness that once trapped you.

Garcia, who until now had been listening in silence, smiled and gave you a gentle nudge. “You know, I think you should consider writing a self-help book: ‘How to survive work and not go crazy. ’ It could be a best-seller.”

“Sure, with special chapters on how to choose something sharp and how not to use them when you have a bad day,” you joked, and everyone laughed again.

Towards the end of the day, as you were gathering your things to head home, you ran into Rossi in the hallway. He looked at you with his typical knowing expression, but with a spark of amusement in his eyes.

“You know, kid I love seeing you make those jokes. It’s a sign that you’re okay, but it’s also a reminder of how far you’ve come.”

You smiled at him, nodding. “Yeah, Dave, I know. Sometimes, I need to remind myself and others that surviving doesn’t just mean being okay, but learning to laugh at what scared us. And if I don’t do it, who else will?”

Rossi let out a soft laugh. “You know, you can always count on me to be your audience. I’m not as good an audience as Spencer, though.”

“Thanks, Dave. I’ll keep that in mind for my next show.”

As you left, you knew you were surrounded by people who understood you, who supported you, and who accepted every part of you, even the darkest ones. But most importantly, you knew you had found a way to move forward: with a smile on your face, a joke on your lips, and a team that, no matter what, would always be by your side.

And as you walked out the door, ready to face whatever came next, you couldn’t help but make one last comment to yourself. “Well, if I survived the bathtub, I’m ready for anything. I just hope there’s more wine and less blood next time.”

your reblogs and replies are always appreciated dearly🫧

#dr spencer reid #aaron hotchner #criminal minds #emily prentiss #spencer reid fic #spencer reid fluff #emily prentiss fic #emily prentiss fluff #emily prentiss x reader #criminal minds angst #criminal minds x reader #criminal minds imagine #angst with a happy ending #bau team #jennifer jareau #spencer reid angst #emily prentiss angst #jennifer jareau angst #aaron hotchner angst

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jasmineoolongtea · 5 months ago

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Okay I have a weird request but since you're so good at writing I'm gonna shoot my shot lol. No pressure though! How about a huge misunderstanding between reader and jjk men (and boys), where one is somehow convinced the other is cheating (tho they're not and are totally loyal!) and it causes a big argument with one of them walking out and saying "I'm done." But then when they realise there was no cheating going on it's soft and sweet and full of apology? You can add whoever you'd like, though would love to see Gojo, Geto and Nanami!

a/n: hii anon thank you for your compliments <333 honestly when i saw the words 'weird request' i was thinking in a completely different direction from this but this request is totally normal so do not worry about it at all !!! also so sorry this took a while to get out back to you anon i had to study for and take my driver's licence test ;-; hope i can do your request justice and hope you enjoy it !!!

if anyone had asked gojo satoru what he thought of his relationship, his answer would undoubtedly be that it was rock solid, that nothing could ever phase the two of you, not even the end of the world, and he would probably take off with a skip in his step as he makes his way to go shower you in affection.

so then, if that was true, why was there a pang of an ugly and uncomfortable feeling making its way up his throat at the sight of someone else's jacket wrapped around your figure.

"i'm home, toru!" you cheerily announce, as usual, exhaustion from the day melting off your body as you shed your belongings at the entryway to your apartment. it's been a long day and there's nothing more that you would like to do than to slink back into bed and into your lover's forever warm embrace.

however, unlike usual, satoru does not greet you with a bright grin to sweep you up in his arms and pepper your face with kisses. instead, he stands motionless in the hallway, his face a mixture of emotions. he doesn't meet your eyes, choosing to glare at the new unfamiliar article of clothing with a sense of contempt.

eerily, satoru is silent. you can't help but attempt to shake off the feeling that something's wrong.

"what's that?" he asks, monotone, his voice is devoid of its typical energy and affection like you're nothing more than a stranger, or perhaps something even worse.

"oh, this?" you look down at yourself and suddenly remember that you were still wearing your co-worker's jacket. "ah right, i forgot a co-worker gave this to me earlier when i was complaining that the ac was too cold." you remark, brushing past him as you move to hang up the jacket on the apartment's coat rack.

you hum absent-mindedly to yourself as you do, thinking to yourself that satoru just probably had a rough day, no thanks to the higher-ups of course, and that was the reason for his strange demeanour today. your back is facing towards him as you pipe up, "remind me tomorrow to return this to him when i head for work."

'him', a bitter taste fills his mouth. there's a heaviness at the bottom of his gut, one that threatens to pull him down with it the more he thinks about it. he soon realises what this feeling is; it's jealousy, an emotion that he thought he was better than, that is gnawing its way into his mind and his vision becomes clouded. he grits his teeth, his jaw tense up.

"right, of course, you're in such a hurry to see him again." he scoffs off-handily to himself. there's a bitter edge to his words and this doesn't go by unnoticed by you.

you turn to face him fully, your lips drawn into a tight line. there's a hidden insinuation lying behind his words, one that you don't necessarily appreciate. "what are you trying to imply here, satoru?"

he decides it would be better to spit it out than to let it fester there on the tip of his tongue. "are you seeing someone else?"

your jaw drops at his accusation. "are you serious? is this really how you see me satoru?" you question, your beautiful face twisting into an expression of deep pain.

a wave of regret instantly washes over him.

satoru doesn't respond and you take his silence as his answer. your throat suddenly feels tight as you choke out, "look, if you're really going to be like this. i-i don't think i can do this anymore." you turn away from him, making your way towards the entrance as you hurriedly scoop up your belongs in a half hazard manner.

you're unsure on whether or not it's sadness or anger that's tugging at your heart right now but what you do know is that there's a sense of betrayal that lingers in the air.

"wait." he pleads, the previous stupid jealousy he might have felt before is long gone by now and all he's left with is the burning pain of regret. if there was an option to undo everything he just said he would take it in a heartbeat.

he reaches out to you and makes a desperate last attempt to stop you from leaving by holding onto your wrist. "please, wait can we talk this out?"

his much larger hand engulfs your wrist and you can't deny how pained his voice sounds and how it tugs at your heart, begging you to stay, but then you remember how fresh the pain was of being accused by someone you thought would be able to trust you wholeheartedly and so, you shrug him off.

"i'm done. goodbye, satoru." you walk out as the door slams closed behind you, leaving him alone to stew in regret.

it's been 10 hours since you left, rightfully so with how he was behaving like an insecure ass to you, and it's been 4 hours of failed attempts to sleep off the ache he feels growing in his chest. he doesn't know why he had acted like that, accusing you of such things completely unwarranted and maybe if he was going to be more purposefully obtuse, he might blame it on the green-eyed monster but even he knows that it would just be a poor deflection of blame.

exhausted from hours of self-inflicted insomnia, he rolls out of bed and stares at the mess of white sheets left in your wake. satoru always slept better when he was with you and now he's just gone and ruined one of the best things he's ever had.

would it be so terrible if he put aside his pride to go begging for your forgiveness for his stupidness? he sure as hell doesn't deserve it right now but he knows that he'll hate himself forever if he never tries. and so, that's how satoru finds himself at your doorstep, soaking wet from the rain and knocking on your door.

against all odds, you answer, though obviously just barely having escaped the clutches of sleep as you rub your eyes tiredly. you're greeted with the sight of him standing at your door and all the conflicting feelings that you tried to bury away previously come crawling back up.

"...what are you doing here, satoru? it's like 2am." you're completely drained and not in the mood for a screaming match if that is what he's here for.

he looks haggard in all senses of the word. his hair is tousled in a sweaty mess from tossing and turning around a bed that feels way too empty with wisps of white hair clinging to his forehead. his clothes are dishevelled in a way which tells you he just threw on the first thing he found in his haste to make it to your apartment and the skin under his eyes is hollowed out as he stares at you with red-rimmed eyes.

gojo satoru looks defeated, to say the least.

"i'm sorry, for everything," he starts off, his chest heaves up and down with shaky breaths. you're not sure if it's him shivering from the rain or just his nerves. "truly deeply sorry." his voice is totally devoid of malice and instead it's more like the satoru you know and love but with a new found rawness and vulnerability to it.

you're not sure what to say, avoiding his gaze as best as you can as you fidget with the sleeves of your hoodie, the one that you stole from him ages ago. he notices that and there's a flutter of hope in his heart, but he pushes on with his apology, choosing to not let himself get carried away with that.

"i'm stupid, okay? i'm a monumental idiot." you laugh slightly at that. he takes that as a good sign and that ball of hope within him grows a little stronger. satoru takes a deep sigh, as if to steady himself before continuing.

"i don't know why i said that and you don't deserve any of those thoughts or accusations okay? hell, i'm pretty sure i don't deserve you with how i've been acting today. you don't need to forgive me or anything but i just want you to know i'm sorry."

"satoru-"

"-and i know that and if you want to punch me or kick me to the curb that's also completely fine. i won't blame you i pro-" he's suddenly cut off by the tug of his t-shirt and the feeling of soft, warm lips, your lips, against his as he falls into an awe-struck silence. your lips part from his and he already feels that he's gone on for too long without them.

you smile at him, the corners of your eyes crinkling slightly and he can feel all of the regret that was eating him alive before melting away, like fallen snow when the spring sun makes its glorious return back to earth. "yes, i forgive you, you massive fool. you're definitely an idiot but you're my idiot."

he takes your hands in his and brings them up to his lips, whispering into them,

"that's right, i'm yours."

you know the phrase 'seeing is believing'? yeah, geto suguru thinks that's probably one of the dumbest phrases he's ever had the pleasure, or displeasure in this case, of hearing. there's a lot of things that you can't see but you can still believe in; an example would be gravity. you don't need to see it to know that it exists and believe in it so why is visual confirmation the default that people go to?

that is until he saw you in the arms of someone else and maybe, in that moment, he realised that the phrase might have more merit to it than he had originally placed on it.

honestly, you were already having an awful day. you had just barely the train to your work by the millisecond so you were left waiting around for 5 minutes before the next train came and much to your chagrin, you were left standing for the entirety of the 20-minute journey and had officially arrived at your workplace late.

to pile on to that, you remembered that you had very conveniently forgotten all of the things you needed to bring in for that very specific day and had to do the whole journey again to avoid incurring the wrath of your boss.

and the cherry on top? it was running into that co-worker that you hated with all your guts and getting their coffee spilt on your very nice white shirt, whether intentionally or unintentionally you'll deal with that issue later.

however, this left you with an embarrassing large stain right front and centre for the rest of the day until the universe decided to grant you a small mercy by having your other co-worker offer you a spare change of clothes which you gratefully accepted. as you did, you could feel the pointed stares of the other members of your workplace burning angry holes through your back which only left you with an unsettling feeling in your gut. albeit, you brushed it off quickly as you couldn't really linger on the issue.

it was always like this when you two interacted in both a friendly and professional capacity. the occasion or even context of the interaction didn't matter to the rest of them when all they saw was the office crush acting nice with you and you reciprocating this niceness to an extent that made them seethe with jealousy over the fact that it wasn't them.

maybe they should learn that they could get his respect by treating him as a person rather than an object to fawn over but again, that was a conversation for another day and they should have known that you only had eyes for one man, in the form of your boyfriend suguru, anyways.

suguru wasn't someone who was super public about his affection for you with grand displays of PDA, but what mattered to you and him was that he showed in ways that were important to both of you and that was enough.

that was why he found himself standing at the door of your workplace, a small bouquet of your favourite flowers in hand, waiting to surprise you and pick you up the moment you were done with your shift. he leans against the cool surface of the cement wall behind him and imagines the delighted look on your face when you see him there. his lips curve into a slight smile at that mental image.

he glances at the watch on his wrist, a present from you from a previous anniversary and one he treasured deeply as evidenced by the fact that there was barely a scratch on its glass shell, and silently counts down the minutes in his head. while lost in his own thoughts, he fails to notice a group of employees passing by him though he does manage to pick up bits and pieces of their fleeting conversation.

"can you believe them? throwing themself all over him like that?" one voice chides.

"i know right? it's like they have no shame at all." another adds bitterly.

"you know, it makes me think that there's something going on between them." and that earns them a chorus of agreement from their little group.

suguru pays them little mind though, believing it to be just simple office gossip that he could care less about unless it was coming from you, then he would be hooked on every single detail you fed him like his life depended on it. he hears footsteps from around the corner and notes an all-too-familiar giggle as the people emerge. it's you and he walks forward a bit more to see if he can spot you.

however, he's greeted with an awful sight. the source of your melodic laughter appears to be the man standing next to you and before you two part, he leans down to give you a hug, one that you seemingly receive with open arms. there's a sinking sensation at the bottom of his stomach when he watches the both of you linger for a second.

when you part, not before thanking your co-worker again for his kindness, you turn around and notice suguru standing a few metres in front of you. "sugu? what are you doing here?" you ask, pleasantly surprised by his sudden appearance and you light up with happiness at the sight of him. you stop in your tracks when you realise he hasn't made a single move to greet you.

the smile on your face drops slightly as your eyebrows furrow in concern for his strange stillness. you take a step closer towards him but he remains still as a statue. there's the sound of crumpled paper as his grip tightens around the bouquet that he's still holding.

you're both silent for a second before he speaks up.

"are you cheating on me?" though his question is straightforward, his tone is unsure.

he doesn't want to believe that you could be doing that but he can't help but draw his own conclusions about what he just saw, especially in light of the comments he overheard which now suddenly make sense if he looks at them from this newfound angle.

a look of betrayal flickers through your eyes at his words. there's an undeniable bitter aftertaste in his mouth that he can't swallow down.

"is that you really think this is?" there's a pained edge to your voice and you can feel an uncomfortable tightness around your throat as you try to fight back the tears pricking at the corners of your eyes.

"suguru, i would never do that! we're just co-workers, don't you believe me?" he doesn't look at you, choosing to actively avoid your gaze instead and you can feel yourself faltering as the grim reality of the situation dawns on you with solemn resignation.

"you know, suguru, i've had a really awful day today and this is not helping at all. i'm done with this. goodbye, suguru." and before he can say anything, you brush past him as you make your way to god knows where. as you walk off, he finally realises that the sinking feeling in his stomach is regret.

after you dissapear into the twisting streets, suguru is overwhelmed with this awful feeling of regret as he realises how rash he was in jumping to a conclusion that had no basis aside from some stupid off-handed comments he overheard and a hug that could very well just be only friendly and nothing more. all he can think about is apologising to you and hopefully finding a way back into your good graces again.

unfortunately for him, you've turned off your phone so he can't even call you to find out where you are but even if it was on, he doubts that you would even pick up and that is definitely deserved on his behalf. he stops and thinks to himself for a moment and decides to take a chance on the first place he can come up with.

thankfully, his gut is right and he finds you sitting on a grassy hill, your grassy hill with him, absent-mindedly plucking up strands of grass before discarding them. there's the sound of grass crunching underneath shoe soles as suguru takes his place next to you.

"what are you doing here, suguru?" you're not looking at him and he can feel a pang of pain in his chest.

"had a feeling you would be here."

you scoff half-heartedly. a shaky breath escapes your lips as you turn to him, your eyes are slightly red-rimmed and there's an unmistakable shimmery glean to your cheeks from your tears. another tug of his heart. "what do you want? because it seemed like you were pretty much done with me at that point."

"i want to apologise." there's a look of surprise on your face as you turn to him and he continues, his voice raw and vulnerable as he continues, "i want to say sorry for taking and not even listening to the most important side of the story, you. so please, and spare no details, tell me what happened today."

you pause for a second as if to consider his words and examine his sincerity, and then you nod and he can feel a sigh of relief leave him. as you relay to him the true details of your day, you notice how his expression becomes more and more apologetic as the facts of the story finally come to light.

he leans against your shoulders and envelops you in his arms. you reciprocate his touch, snaking your own arms around his waist and he sinks his head into the crook of your neck.

"i can't stress how sorry i am." his voice is muffled against your collarbone as you rest your chin upon his head. his hand finds yours and squeezes your hand reassuringly.

"you know you have a lot to make up for right?" he looks up at you, violet eyes gazing into your own, and hums in agreement as he places a soft kiss against your hand.

"anything for you, angel."

nanami kento was a man who believed that it was his duty to silently bear all of the things that came his way, no matter the cost, and this made him someone that many people could always rely on which has earned him a similar reputation in many facets of his life. unfortunately, this benefit did not extend to his relationship.

you knew all this when you got into a relationship with him including his workaholic tendencies and so you were never too disappointed when a dinner for two would turn into a dinner for one.

even if they became more frequent, you would always be able to go to sleep with the knowledge that you would wake up next to a head of blonde hair and a pair of strong arms wrapped around your waist as the steady beat of your two hearts in sync filled the relative silence of your shared bedroom.

until, one day, you began to wake up cold and alone, lost within the expanses of the sheets without his arms there to tether you to a world with him by your side. the only shreds of evidence that he was actually there and not just a figment of your touch-starved imagination was the slight indent of the mattress left in his wake and a messily scribbled note which read 'woke up early for work, breakfast is in the fridge.' which felt just as cold and devoid of affection as the room you currently were in.

phone calls became less frequent as well and seeing kento in the flesh was more like trying to find a four-leafed clover in a field full of clovers. explanations were short and choppy and to you, they felt like simply a courtesy on his part rather than genuine truths.

with his presence fading even more and more from the apartment and your life, you couldn't help but start to wonder if there was more behind these excuses and perhaps, he had decided to move on from you and onto someone else. these worries even followed you from your waking hours into your dreams and so you made your mind up to stay up and wait for his return to finally confront him about his behaviour.

now sitting there at your kitchen table, fingers absent-mindedly drumming against the wood surface as you anxiously watch the seconds tick down on the clock and await his arrival. tick tock, tick tock. the sound of the clock echoes off the walls of the apartment.

there's an uncomfortable ball of anxiety gnawing at the insides of your stomach. if the truth didn't kill you, the waiting was definitely going to be the one to put the final nail in your coffin at this point.

much to your relief, or worst fears, there's a jangle of keys coming from outside the door and it soon cracks open to reveal a very tired and worn down kento as he makes his way into the apartment and begins to unload his belongings in the entryway. he's halfway through with removing his suit jacket when he finally notices you sitting there, stone-faced aside from your lips which you nervously bite at, and a worried sigh escapes him.

he makes his way towards you and takes a seat opposite from you. under the fluorescent lights of the kitchen, you're able to get a much better look at him and while his hair is perfectly styled back as usual, there's an air of exhaustion radiating from him as you take note of the darkness of his eyebags and the seemingly permanent grimace that he sports, a far cry from the looks of domestic bliss that you would always be greeted with previously.

"what are you doing up so late, my love? you should be asleep by now or else you'll be tired tomorrow for work." his voice is full of concern for your well-being when it should be the least of his worries at this point with how burnt out he was. you're pretty sure that his cheekbones are more pronounced from the lack of full meals rather than simply his genetics.

a pang of guilt hits you in your gut, of course, he's still so fixated on you taking care of yourself when he clearly is the one who needs the advice even more, but you know that this needs to come out sooner or later. you steel yourself with a shaky breath.

"where have you been?" you ask, uncharacteristically cold. he can tell that there's something off with you but he chooses not to comment or push on it.

"i've been at work, trying to finish something for the higher-ups before tomorrow." his tone is straightforward and blunt and you can't tell if he's giving you a rehearsed answer or a truthful one.

you look down at your hands. "is that really all it is?"

"what do you mean?" his eyebrows furrow in confusion. you're not sure if this is genuine confusion or if he's just playing you for a fool.

you sigh, exhausted. you can feel the corners of your eyes start to burn with tears but you attempt to blink them away to the best of your ability. "i can't take these late nights and weak excuses anymore, kento. if there's someone else, i would rather you just say it."

he doesn't say anything and you grit your teeth as you solemnly accept that as his answer. you quickly stand up from your seat but before you can go anywhere, you're stopped in your tracks by the feeling of his calloused hands on your forearm.

"wait, please, dear-" he pleads softly.

"i'm done, kento." you cut him off before he can say anything else but he strides over to you and places a hand on your shoulder.

"love, please." he implores, his brown eyes full of sincerity as he tries his best to convince you to hear him out. "please, stay and let me explain, just for a minute and that's all." you don't pull away from his touch and he offers you a grateful smile.

"the late nights and overtime are to save some time off for a vacation. a vacation with you." before you could even open your mouth to speak, he silently stops you with a gentle caress to the cheek and manages to render you both speechless and breathless in a single move. "i know you're worried about me overworking myself so i wanted to surprise you and finally make my promises to you come true."

you're instantly hit with a sense of regret as you realise that your overthinking and fear might have cost you something so precious and at the thought of potentially having lost him, you can't help but throw yourself into his open embrace and bury your face into the rumpled fabric of his button up.

a soothing hand finds its way to your back as he attempts to comfort you. he's so good to you and sometimes you wonder if you really deserve it. "i'm sorry, ken. i shouldn't be jumping to conclusions and accusing you of such things." you confess, your voice slightly muffled against his chest. "you've been nothing but kind and loving to me and all i can say is that i'm sorry."

"it's alright, my dear. i should be sorry as well. i shouldn't have been so guarded when you're asking even if it's for a surprise." he adds himself and then there's the fleeting warmth of his lips against your forehead before his arms tighten their grip around you as if to reassure you that he wasn't going anywhere.

"so you're not mad at me, kento?" you ask gingerly, glancing at his face to find a fond expression looking back down at you, not a single bit of anger or annoyance to be detected on any of his features.

"you, dear? i could never be angry at you."

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planetnini · 1 year ago

Text

PLEASE DON'T SAY YOU LOVE ME !

࿔･ﾟ*࿐ You kept catching glimpses of Suguru around even after his death. Thinking it may have been a trick on your mind, you brushed it off but when someone that looks and sounds exactly like him shows up at your apartment, you have no other choice but to take matters into your own hands... that is until you find out that he still might be in there.

pairing. geto suguru x gn!reader

tags. angst,, like seriously angst (this hurts so much please listen to me), the first half is a trick there is no happy ending, shibuya arc spoilers!!! (kenjaku is a bitch), violence/fighting (i get a bit descriptive sorry) and of course,,, major character death :)

word count. 2.8k

notes. this idea came to me one night and bambi encouraged me to write it so here it is. i hope no one kills me for this, i also can't believe this is my first official fic of jjk... anyways, get ready to (c)rumble, thank you! <333

“I thought I told you not to worry about me.” you said, phone tucked on your shoulder holding it to your ear as you took the grocery bag from the old lady giving a curt nod and smile. You moved the bags in one hand and pulled the phone out from your shoulder, pressing it against your ear.

“But then what else would I do?” Satoru whined, masking his concern with a playful question as you walked to the crossing, going to take the usual route home.

“Go bother someone else.” you teased.

Going for the dramatics you heard him gasp through the line, “You are so mean.” he replied and you don’t have to see him to know he is pouting.

You chuckled, stopping in your tracks as you glanced over the scenic route through the park contemplating to take the long way home. Your attention is suddenly turned to the children with their parents, chasing each other around.

Your heart stuttered.

The mere sight elicited thoughts about your future; the plans you had come up with; the dreams you’d wish to share with Suguru that were torn away from you. The burdens of the jujutsu world were too much to handle alone, and you just know that if you were just a bit more attentive, you could have saved him.

“You need to be reminded that you’re not the only special grade sometimes.” you said, glancing at the way the soft cerulean of the sky weaved with a beautiful light orange. The sunset reminding you of days when Suguru would take you out after missions together.

“Do you think you’re stronger than me?” he chimed, and you rolled your eyes at his comment. Satoru was always like this but you knew that his voice was laced with worry and concern.

“I’m going to hang up.” you threatened as your feet move against their own will, deciding to take the long way home today. The cherry blossoms danced along with the wind, falling beneath you on the concrete as you continued down the path.

It is quiet for a moment and you think Satoru has hung up on you in response to your comment but when you hear him sigh, you can’t help but do the same.

It has been a rough few years for everyone, especially for Shoko, Satoru, and yourself. Not only had you lost your best friend the first time but you also had to lose him another time.

“Are you still there?” he interrupted your thoughts.

“Yeah.. I’m still here.” you replied as you let out an exhale, kicking some pebbles along your path.

“Are you still seeing him around?” he questioned, words picked out carefully.

You sighed, “you make me sound insane.” you responded as you stood at the traffic light waiting for the cars to pass by. Your eyes moved to the blossom leaves falling atop your head and on your clothes.

“I never said you were insane Y/N.” he grumbled and you can’t control the way your whole body relaxes at his words. You knew Satoru cared for you deeply and you had always appreciated it even if you didn't really show it. He had always kept an eye out for you, even before Suguru’s death, and while he was a handful, you knew he always had good intentions. “It wasn’t easy to be there." he added.

You thought back to that day where Satoru insisted you stay back as he went to find Suguru but one look at you and he caved. You wanted to go to find newfound peace but seeing him in this state did nothing for your closure, it only made your heartache worse.

Seeing him smile at you like he did the first day you met had sent butterflies all throughout your body.

Everything about him- every minuscule detail about him- had been exactly as you had remembered. He still had the same sweet and playful look in his eyes. He still had the same goddamn smile. He was still the same person you fell in love with all those years ago so it hurt. You cried, wept, and tried to be strong as you thought about the moments shared with him and how cruel it was that this was where you ended up.

You leaned down, and kissed his cheek as tears adorned your cheeks. Holding his hand and with three tight squeezes- a sign of sorry that you established as your relationship blossomed- he closed his eyes, prepared for the worst as a tear rolled down his face, and then he took his last breath.

“Satoru…” you uttered, completely speechless as you tried to clear your head, “I wanted to be there.”

There was a pregnant pause.

“Do you think it’s possible?” he questioned, uncertainty laced in his voice.

“That what Satoru? That by some miracle he’s alive?” you replied immediately regretting it.

It wasn’t just you that had to grieve the loss of Geto Suguru, and as much as you wanted to just go about your day without thinking about it, guilt would eat away at your bones for not constantly thinking about him.

“i’m sorry.” he sighed and you felt your heart clench at his apology. Why should he be apologising? It was unfair that grief was making you behave this way and you knew that sooner or later you'd need to talk to someone about it.

“I’m the one who should be sorry. I just don’t think my mind will let me forget it...” you sighed as you continued to walk slowly to your apartment.

The line is quiet and you don’t know what else to say. You don’t expect Satoru to even reply to you.

“You don’t have to forget. You can just live with it.”

Shoko had once told you that 'grief was love with no place to go' and while you hadn’t really understood it then, you did now. It was a way to understand the emotional ruins of grief as a continuation of the love you once had, even if the object of that love is no longer a part of your life. In a sense, Satoru was also telling you the same thing. He acknowledged that moving on didn't mean erasing the past and staying stagnant in the moment, but recognised that you can continue living a meaningful life whilst also carrying the grief with you.

You thought you were losing your mind and that seeing Suguru everywhere was a curse but maybe it was the world's way of letting you know that he was finally at peace. As you walked up the pathway to your apartment in a comfortable silence, you thought about his and Shoko’s words.

Every single day you would return home to a place void of any remnant of Suguru. A place that is supposed to offer comfort now did the opposite but today felt different. Maybe it was a step towards another way of living and it wouldn’t be so hard to live with the grief.

“Where are you now?”

“Outside my door.” you spoke as you used a key to unlock the door.

“Okay. I’m glad you got home safe," he remarked, "I'll see you tomorrow?”

“See you then.”

“Stay safe.” he said and you know what he means.

“Love you too.”

You hung up the phone and took off your shoes before tossing everything onto the kitchen island and groaning as you stretched your back and neck. You turned to open the fridge, “Whoever you are, you have ten seconds to run before I kill you.”

You wouldn’t say you were the strongest, your abilities were nowhere to be compared to Satoru but everyone deserves a second chance, right? You let the entity decide its own fate. Don't say I didn't warn you...

“So... you’re the infamous Y/N.”

That voice…

Your feet were frozen in place and you could feel your own heart sink into the pit of your stomach. There were words stuck in your throat as the nauseous feeling crept up and threatened to spill from your lips. This can’t be right…

What felt like minutes passed by as you processed what, or rather who you just heard. The way your name rolled off their tongue was foreign. Was it really who you thought it was? Your mind must be going through it right now and although you know it’s not possible, you can’t help but hope it is who you think it is as you turned around.

“Suguru?” you uttered, eyes wide as the tears brimmed the edge of them as you stared at the man in front of you.

“Bingo!” he chuckled.

You begged yourself to snap out of it. This was clearly a sick and twisted transformation technique but your heart betrayed you, standing there and not making a run for it.

“You’re probably thinking this is some illusion but thanks to your friend, I was able to obtain this body without much trouble.” he smiled and you felt goose bumps crawling up your arm at the strange sight. Despite how much this man looked and sounded like Suguru, you knew this was not the case at all.

Your jaw clenched, “What the fuck did you do to him?”

“I could ask you the same thing,” he said, standing up from your sofa as he trudged towards you, “My cursed technique allows me to transplant my brain into anybody," he explained and you're heaving as you tried to keep your rage at surface level, "I have access to all of his memories, his skills, and whatnot."

You don't have it in yourself to attack just yet.

"He lived a long time without you in his life but somehow," he paused, "you take up almost every single memory.” he sounded frustrated and the tears threatening to escape your eyes do so- whether he was telling the truth or not, they still hurt you immensely.

“So why are you here?” you growled as your body allowed itself to move again and maintaining eye contact with him as you focused all your energy to charge your technique.

“You are a hindrance to my plans.”

His weakness.

You released your cursed technique at him immediately and launched him across the room and as you moved to the table to grab your phone. One of Suguru’s cursed spirits wrapped around your hands and restrained you and using your abilities, you managed to get away from it. You shot him a look as he tilted his head with a smile, “I gave you ten seconds to run but I have something else settled for you now” you snapped as you continued to use your technique to your advantage as you continued to fight him.

You would say that against Suguru, it had always been a close call of who would win in a fight but this time it felt difficult. Who was this guy?

You continued to attack the man, fighting back with all your might. He wasn’t actually Suguru, so you didn’t feel the need to hold back. He caught you off guard with a calculated move and knocked you to the floor. You saved yourself from further injury as you used your arm to break the fall, but you managed to hit your head on the furniture with your head in the process.

You winced pushing yourself off your elbow as the man walked towards you with his hands in front of you as he tried to force you up by the throat, “Suguru...” you managed to say before he could grab you.

Before you can even process it, there is a twitch of his hand that came up to his throat, choking himself as his fingers pressed down against the side of his throat, ultimately stopping himself from putting a hand on you.

Your eyes widened as your breath caught in your lungs. Was he still in there?

Kenjaku’s eyes widened, as his vessel- Suguru’s body- fought against him, and a laugh that used to be full of joy now sounded like nails on a chalkboard as it echoed through your apartment, “This is impressive!" he spoke, amused at the action.

By no means was Geto Suguru still alive, but protecting you had become muscle memory; it was an instinct that has embedded itself deep within his soul, one that Kenjaku would never truly be able to understand..

You are still on the floor, blood dripped down the side of your head as you moved up from your spot. Using your technique, you try and catch him off guard by putting all your strength into your next move, attacking him when he least expects it, “In all my years, I have never seen anything quite like this and it is all because of you.” he cackled.

“It sounds like somebody is scared.” you taunted, smirking at the imposter to try to size him up.

“Well, let me tell you this,” he cleared his throat, “When a part of the original host reacts, you know what that means?”

“What?” you seethed, jaws clenched as you waited for him to finish his sentence.

“He’s still in here.” he whispered, and t had caught you off guard.

You wanted to attack but instead your heart sabotaged your next move allowing Kenjaku to have the upper hand. You struggled to react as you felt the pain of something on your left side and suddenly, you are on the floor gasping for air and you can feel him hover over you.

He pinned you down to the floor and slammed you against it to stop you from struggling but you were already incapacitated so what was the point?

In terms of physical strength, Suguru would always win by a landslide and this is when you wished you had taken your training more seriously.

There was a visceral reaction that tears at Kenjaku as he has you in his hands which entertains him once again, “You have some nerve calling yourself a special grade sorcerer,” he sneered, “Are you holding back?”

You looked up at him and tried your absolute best to move but the pain is too much to handle. You clenched your jaw as your breathing became erratic, “You will find no peace, so long as you live.” you choked out.

He laughed and wrapped his hand around your neck tighter, his right hand reaching over to your hand- you don’t know what he expected from you now that you’re bleeding out. "You're hilarious," he rejoiced as his hand intertwined with yours, “So let me make this easier for you. Just think about him...” Kenjaku needed you to suffer so that he could shake Suguru’s will to its core, stripping anything left he had. You don’t know what you expected but then you felt a gentle squeeze.

One.

You forced your eyes open to look up at the man who squeezed your hand. It seemed that he was unaware at the action. This guy said he had all of Suguru’s memories so was he just doing this on purpose? Is this Geto Suguru or is this the imposter that is using his body?

“It is honestly so sweet just how much he loved you after all those years apart.” he chuckled.

Kenjaku continued to put pressure around your neck with one hand, feeling the exact opposite of what Suguru was probably going through- an intolerable, gut-wrenching pain, without exaggeration. He can’t do anything but squeeze his hand in yours again.

Two.

You can’t fight back, you have no will. Even if by some miracle, how could you possibly hurt the man in front of you? The man you once loved...

“Is that why you’re not fighting back? Do you love him too much to hurt him?”

Suguru’s soul pleaded.

He wondered why he couldn’t be strong right now for you and resist but it was no use. You could see a tear falling from his face now as the final fragment of his soul tried its best to push through.

Three.

You’re choking. You can't swallow. You can't breathe. You can only see the man you loved in blurry vision from the lack of oxygen and through tears. He was sorry...

“I… I.. forgive.. y-” you choked out, voice restricted as Kenjaku forced himself to push through with his execution, tightening his grip.The finality of it all settled deep within his soul as Kenjaku watched the life leave your eyes as you took your last breath.

A tear rolled down your cheek and your existence on the Earth came to an end.

Suguru was not really gone but he might as well have been. He will exist for a long time knowing that he was the one that killed you and that he couldn’t do anything to stop it either.

It was on that night for the first time that Kenjaku felt the overwhelming amount of agony from his vessel. His soul ached, cried, and wailed that night, longing to be with you but he couldn’t- that was just how things were meant to be for you two.

You hoped he knew that you forgave him and that you would love him endlessly but as for now, you would wait...

tags! @stsgluver

i made y/n a special grade user because they could easily take down suguru if they wanted but just didn't do it hahahahahah

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lampiridaes · 8 months ago

Note

HIIII

Your finally open again 🫶🫶🫶

Can i request a tsukasa, rui and nene x reader (separate) and the plot is something like the song “something stupid” more specifically the verse “ the time is right your perfume fills my head the stars are read and oh the nights so blue, and then i go and spoil it all by saying something stupid like i love you “

Thank you xxxx I’ve missed youuu

♬ now playing: "i love you..."

-> saying you love them so suddenly, so unexpectedly... are you trying to give them a heart attack?

★ — chars ; tsukasa , rui , nene

★ — notes ; HELLO H :333 finally writing this. VERY SORRY FOR THE WAIT!!!! lowkey got rlly excited to write this then BAAM. SCHOOL WORK EVERYWHERE.!!!! also listen to the song on loop as i was writing (michael buble's cover ft reese witherspoon bc i LOVE michael buble's voice) and it got me in the mood!!! I HOPE U LIKE READING THIS AS MUCH AS I LOVED WRITING IT!!!

★ — warnings ; open endings for all of them (nothing rlly insane lol) , otherwise none!

★ — taglist ; @asherenjoysart , @nogenderbee , @akitosheart , @nenes-numberonefan , @mintchocaur

affiliated with @virtualbookstore ★

★ track one: tenma tsukasa

the day before, tsukasa had invited you to go with this festival with him. there'd be lights, games, prizes... just about any other regular festival.

and yet, here you are with him. people around you are chattering, 'you won!' sound effects can be heard blaring around the entire area.

... surely, if you dropped the 'L' word, he wouldn't hear it.

"...i love you, tsukasa."

a soft yet sad smile can be seen on your expression. you really just said that for no reason, didn't you? how silly.

well, that was what you thought until tsukasa turned back at you, with this bright red blush on his face. yep, definitely heard you.

"...you do?"

this might be the most quiet you've heard from the boy. you were surprised he could even say something like that in such a meek voice.

it's all up to you now. do you want to admit it, change your friendship with him, or would you rather deny it and go back to square one?

★ track two: kamishiro rui

like every other day, you go hang out with rui as he's working on robots for a future show. as always, he appreciates your company. you're a good friend to him, and you also don't touch his works in progress without letting him know.

... also, you tend to ask him questions as he works. not too many to distract him, of course. he finds that rather cute, whether you believe it or not.

he also finds you keeping him company endearing, making sure he doesn't feel lonely... and it seems like you have similar feelings.

"i love you."

is what you thought you thought to yourself, but when rui looked back at you with a startled look on your face, you suddenly realize that you, in fact, said it out loud.

"i meant- i meant your inventions! your work... it's really impressive, rui."

great save there. he totally believed that. especially with how much you stammered.

"oh, that's disappointing. i was about to say the same back to you."

rui had that signature smirk of his, though this one... you could easily tell he lacks the regular cool, level-headedness it usually has.

whatever his intention was, it ended up making you blush in the process. this guy is really going to be the death of you, isn't he?

★ track three: kusanagi nene

you really can't shut your mouth, can you? the original plan was to simply help nene memorize her lines, making sure everything sounded smooth.

yet now you found yourself gazing at her adoringly. one thing led to another, and you just had to tell her that-

"i love you."

it was as if time stopped. you cover your mouth with your hand, gasping with surprise. nene wasn't any different—she was in total disbelief. and if that wide-eyed look on her face told you anything...

"...it's the next character's lines. i'm just... trying to help, yeah?"

the awkward smile on your face didn't make your words any more believable. not to mention, nene has already scanned over the script, she already knows what the actual line is!

"...i love you too."

... that wasn't nene's line. mostly because that wasn't even the other line to begin with, but when nene said that...? oddly suspicious, in the best way possible.

when you finally have the courage to gaze at her once more, you can even catch a glimpse of her subtle yet gentle smile.

"that's my line, after yours."

in a way, she wasn't wrong.

#virtualnetwork #tsukasa tenma #tsukasa tenma x reader #nene kusanagi x reader #nene kusanagi #rui kamishiro #rui kamishiro x reader #pjsk #pjsk x reader #project sekai #project sekai x reader #★ — you are my literature

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scenezfreak · 10 months ago

Note

Hi again luv I hope your doing ok I'm sorry if I'm requesting to much but I had this thing going on in my head for DAYS and I was thinking if you could write a Jeff the killer x metal reader fem that writes songs and dose concert's but what if we sprinkled a little more smut into that like she acts all mean and mostly like flirty but then one night her boyfriend (Jeff) pins her down and fucks her so hard that the bed brakes like ahhhhhyfgy.I really hope you can do it but don't exhaust yourself and remember to eat,sleep,go outside and have fun we only have 1 life so live it at your best dear <333

A/N: Aww you’re so sweet, darling 🫶🏻 Thank you! And you’re not requesting a lot at all don’t worry, I appreciate your kind words and same goes to you! Take care of yourself <3

“You can take it”

Jeff the Killer x fem!metalhead!reader

Warnings: mean but also softie Jeff, bed breaking, degradation, reader crying (from pleasure), Jeff teasing reader

NOT PROOF READ, MINORS DNI.

You were setting up for your next concert, your band was testing and tuning their instruments. You were in the back, fixing one of the strings on your guitar.

Jeff wasn’t necessarily a part of your band but he traveled with you on tours because he couldn’t stand being away from you that long, even though he’d never admit it. “Am I that beautiful you have to stare, loser?” You glanced at him then back at your guitar. “Tch. Who said that?” He replied in a salty tone. “Hmm me.” This time you didn’t look at him. He scoffed and crossed his arms. You successfully tuned your guitar and let a sigh of relief out. You checked the time, “shit, I gotta get on stage. I’ll see you later.” You flipped him off as a joke and smiled at him before walking towards the stage. That damn smile of yours was going to get him in trouble.

You had finished and walked backstage after saying your goodbyes to the crowd. You grabbed a rag and wiped off your sweat, your band members told you how great you did and you returned the thanks and complimented them too. Turning back around you nearly jump out of your skin. “AH FUCK- Jeff you whore!” You sigh, not expecting to see Jeff there. “I need to put a damn bell on you. When did you even get there?” You asked, taking a sip of water. “Did your loud music playing ruin your ears or smth? Not like I was trying to be quiet.” He rolled his eyes. You stick your tongue out at him playfully, but you didn’t expect him to kiss you and take your tongue into his mouth.

You gasped into the kiss and he pushed you against the table behind you. Your hands flew up to clutch his hoodie. His hands rested on your waist. He pulled back, your salive coated his lips. Good thing you already looked a mess before he kissed you because one of your band mates came around the corner and asked if you saw his drumsticks anywhere. You shook your head, unable to say anything. After he sighed and left you looked back at Jeff, “if you’re going to fuck me then get on with it, baby” the last word was filled with your teasing tone.

…You don’t remember what exactly happened, you only remember Jeff dragging you to the car and driving home then immediately dragging you to the bedroom. Now..you were stuck in doggy style with him pounding you from behind and his hand tangled in your hit while his other one slapped your ass. “Wanna act like such a brat, yeah?” He thrusted in deep. “Then I’ll fuckin’ treat ya like one.” He leaned forward, his pace was brutal. You let out a whine at his next words. “Only good girls get to cum, brat.” Your hole clenched around his hard cock. “Ooh~? You like that?” His tone returned to teasing.

He slapped your ass again, causing you to yelp. The hand that’s tangled in your hair pushes your head down so that your face is pressed against the mattress. Your back was impossibly arched and you gripped the sheets. “This’ll teach you to watch your tone around me, whore.” His voice only making your cunt throb more. You could hear the faint cracking of wood but paid no mind as you were too busy getting your pussy abused by your boyfriend. The sound of wet slapping, Jeff’s huffs and almost inaudible growls, your loud moans, and the headboard hitting the wall filled the room.

He almost didn’t catch it if not for his quick reaction skills, you whined and looked up when you felt the grip in your hair disappear and Jeff stop fucking you. You soon came to realize that Jeff caught the headboard in time right before it hit you. He shoved it off to the side and laughed before leaning down, “fuckin’ you so good the damn bed is falling apart.” He pushed for a second, “did anything hit you?” You shook your head, face heating up realizing the situation and him asking if you were okay. You shoved your own face back into the mattress and shook your hips back and forth to hint for him to continue.

He laughed and his hand found it’s way back into your hair again, this time pulling you back and turning your head so you’re facing him. “Such a damn whore, y’know that?” He didn’t give you time to answer before pounding into you again. You moaned into the kiss and tightened around him, causing him to groan. “Gonna cum” he whispered, he licked away tears that were spilling from your eyes at how good he was fucking you. He held back, moving his free hand in between your thighs to attack your clit, determined to get you to cum before he did. He didn’t think you could get any tighter, you threw your head back with a loud whimper of his name as you came.

He continued to rub your clit throughout your high then he leaned back up, placing both hands on your hips and resuming his pace. His cock twitched inside of you before he pulled out and rubbed his cock against your ass. You felt strings of his hot cum land on your back. He scooped it up on his fingers before leaning forward. “Open wide, darling.” You obeyed and he shoved his cum coated fingers into your mouth which you happily cleaned. He cleaned the rest up with a wipe from the bedside table. He moved you onto your back and got up and walked out of the room.

You sat up and rubbed your back, it was already sore. You glanced at the headboard on the floor and huffed out a laugh, he walked back in. “The fuck are you smiling about?” He handed you a water bottle and sat down next to you, his eyes grazing over your form to see if you were hurt anywhere. “Just thinking about how good you fucked me.” You hum and sip the water. You leaned over and gave him a kiss on the cheek. Right before you pulled away he grabbed you by the throat, “keep actin’ like a brat and I won’t fuck you so good next time.” Her tried to seem serious but ended up smirking and he leaned forward to capture your lips in another kiss.

#great now this’ll be stuck in my head too LMAO #creepypasta #jeff the killer #smut #jeff the killer smut #creepypasta smut

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bookshelf-dust · 2 years ago

Text

the hurt is good

part i part ii part iii part iv part v part vi

billy hargrove x fem!reader

word count: 4,994

warnings: swearing, smoking, loneliness, anxiety, specific descriptions of billy’s abuse/fighting/trauma, (if this is triggering, please skip out <3), neil

a/n: hi my loves!! here we are. i really tried to put my back into this one. lots happens and i really hope you enjoy it. thank you for all the positive feedback you’ve given me with this series. i’ve enjoyed writing it. the next part, part five, may be the last one. we’ll see how it goes once i get to writing it, but that might be it. a part six is possible, but i’m not sure yet! i love you all. also, i’m tagging @writethrough because she’s given me a plethora of sweet ideas for this and done nothing but motivate me. i appreciate it more than anything. happy reading!! <333

before you read, listen to: eyes without a face by billy idol and/or love of my life by queen

————

“Billy.” He’s warm. He’s so warm. And his arm is heavy where he’s thrown it over your back, hooked his fingers under your side.

“No.”

“Billy, please.” You’re pleading with him. He’s practically on top of you, tucked into your side like this, the both on your stomachs.

“No,” he says into your shoulder.

“Billy, I have to pee.”

He groans. “Whatever.”

He rolls off of you onto his back, and watches as you pull yourself up and out of bed, leaving to use the bathroom.

While you’re gone, Billy thinks about how he’s never slept in someone else’s bed. Every girl he’s ever been with has been in his bed, when he knew no one else was home (for the most part). He never wanted to chance the interaction with someone else’s family.

But you feel safe. Your home feels safe. And you’re not just some chick he’s invited over for a little temporary stress relief.

Billy also thinks about how he’s never had a sleepover. He never had friends to do that with when he was younger—Neil would’ve thought it was inappropriate even if he had.

Billy stretches, sliding further into the bed and off the pillows, arms over his head. He then relaxes his arms, one flopping over the spot you’d been in. His hand bumps into something soft, and he runs his fingers over the sheets, searching for it. He knows what it is before he sees it.

It’s a teddy bear. His heart clenches. He hadn’t even realized you’d been cuddled up with that thing all night, and thinking about you like that makes him feel all soft and gooey.

For a second he feels a pang in his chest, like he shouldn’t be letting you turn him into a pussy. But those aren’t his words. He knows it.

Billy thinks about his mother for a moment. How she’d love you. He was so shy as a kid. She always had a soft spot for the shy ones.

He fidgets with one of your bear’s ears, remembering the one he’d had as a kid. His mom had given it to him. It was this pale blue color, and though small, but it always felt just right to hold. He’s pretty sure it’s in a box somewhere now.

Your footsteps snap him out of his reverie. You return with a little yellow paper between your fingers.

Billy Hargrove splayed out in your bed is something you’re not sure you’ll ever get used to. He looks like a dream. His curls are frizzy from sleep, the cutoff tank top he’s wearing twisted around his torso, one thigh sticking out from under the covers.

“Mom’s not here,” you start. “Left a note saying Wendy called and they’re having brunch. Apparently she didn’t want to wake us.”

You set the paper down on your nightstand and plop on the bed beside him, sitting up on your knees.

“You look so pretty,” you tell him.

Billy starts laughing. You swat at his side, but he grabs your hand and pulls it to his mouth, pressing a warm and slightly chapped kiss to your skin.

“So do you,” he says, squeezing at your hand. You almost argue with him, but the look in his eye tells you he really thinks so, and you decide against deprecating yourself.

You run your fingers over his hair. “You should let me braid it today.”

Billy rolls his eyes. “Only if you tell me who this is.” He grabs for your bear, shaking it around before sitting it up on his stomach.

You gasp dramatically, bringing a hand to your chest. “That’s Teddy.”

“Teddy? How original.”

“Fuck you, Hargrove. Teddy is a gentleman.”

“A gentleman who sleeps in your bed every night,” he argues.

“He’s comforting. I’m lonely.” That hits a nerve, and you watch Billy’s expression change.

“Can I ask you something?” he says.

You take your bear, standing him up on Billy’s stomach. He puts his arms under his head, watching you. “You can ask me anything, Billy.” He tugs on your bears arm absentmindedly, nodding.

“Are still lonely even with me around?”

You stop, put Teddy down. You think about what to say for a moment, and your silence freaks Billy out.

“Because if you are, tell me what to do.” He sits up, and you watch as he adjusts his shirt and shakes out his hair.

Your heart starts to pound and your mind is abuzz with emotion. All of it for him.

“Sometimes I am. When you’re not with me.”His shoulders relax a little, though he hates knowing you feel alone at all.

“But it doesn’t really ache anymore. I don’t really have this longing for someone to care about me. And I know I’ve had my mom, but that’s not enough, you know? Even if I feel selfish saying that.”

“But now I have you. And I’m pretty sure you care about me.”

I more than care about you, Billy thinks.

Billy puts a hand against your cheek, and you lean into his touch. His lips quirk up at the gesture.

“It’s not selfish to want to be cared for,” Billy tells you. “You’ve taught me that, you know.”

“Really?”

He nods. “And I know what you mean about the ache. Sometimes you just want someone in the room with you, and that’d be enough. But, Y/N, I really do care about you. Even if I don’t say it enough. You’re my best friend.”

Both of Billy’s hands are on your face now, and his tone is nothing but sincere.

“You’re my best friend too. I care about you loads, Billy.”

“Really?”

“Yes. More than anything.”

You lean up, and kiss him on the forehead. It’s lingering and soft. Billy feels like he could scream or maybe cry.

You’re letting him in. He wants to stay.

————

“You’re sure you’re not hungry?”

“I’m sure, babydoll.”

Your breath catches at that name.

Billy’s never been much of a breakfast person. He always preferred to wait until lunchtime. But nevertheless, he appreciates your offer to fix him something. He also knows he should probably leave soon. Max wants to go to the arcade today.

You grab hold of the edge of the kitchen counter, backing up a little ways and stretching yourself out, head bent to face the floor.

“Billy?”

“Hm?” He leans against the cabinets next to you. He’s gotten dressed, though you’re still in your pajamas. You hate that he’s going to go soon.

You straighten, looking at him. There’s been something on your mind. “Why don’t you ever change your ring or your necklace? I only ask because you change earrings, but those stay the same.”

Billy smiles at you. “You spend a lot of time looking at what I wear?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“I’m sure.” He winks at you. You ignore it.

“You don’t have to tell me,” you say.

He pinches your side. “It’s fine. The ring is just my favorite. That’s all. And it gives me something to mess with when I’m anxious.”

“So all the time?”

“Shut up.”

You laugh.

“The necklace…it was my mom’s.”

Your breath catches a little, and you lead Billy back to your room where he can sit. He settles on the end of your bed. He hasn’t told you much about her, other than that she left. That his parent’s relationship wasn’t a good one.

But you can tell he loved her. That he misses her.

“She, um, she left my dad and me when I was a kid. She’d had enough of his shit, you know? He was a fucking horrific husband. Not that he’s any better now, by any means.”

“But there was one night a while before shit really hit the fan that he’d screamed at me. My baseball team lost and he said it was all my fault because I was too afraid of getting hurt. She sat me down and told me not to listen to him, that if I didn’t want to play anymore I didn’t have to.”

“And then she was taking her necklace off and putting it around my neck. She said it was so I’d always remember to be myself. To be a kid. Guess that didn’t really work out though.”

“So I wear it because even if I’m mad at her, I still miss her. She was the only one who ever treated me like I was perfect the way I was. Until you.” Billy looks down.

You’re quiet for a minute. He fusses with your bedding.

“Billy, you know I’m not going to leave you right?”

The words are out before you can stop them, but you feel like he needs to know. Billy has made it clear that he feels a lot for you, and it’s important you do the same.

His eyes meet yours.

“I’m not going to leave you,” you say again. “I just want to make sure you know that.”

Billy stands. “Hug?” he asks.

You nod and he’s wrapping his arms around your waist, burying his face in your neck like he could stay there forever.

————

Billy picks Max up from the arcade later that day, fingers anxiously tapping the steering wheel.

Is he really about to talk to a fourteen-year-old about love? Yeah, he is.

“Maxine,” he says. She whips her head towards him, raises a brow.

“William.”

“Can we have a conversation? About serious shit?”

“I don’t know, can we?” She quips.

“Max—”

“Yes, we can, Billy. What’s so wrong that you need to talk to me?”

“Nothing’s wrong,” he says. “And I’m trying to be a better brother, okay? Let me have this.”

“Okay.”

“Do you love Lucas?” He asks.

Max contemplates the question. Lucas has understood her in ways no one else has. He puts up with her and wants her back each time she dumps him. He was welcoming from the moment she stepped into Hawkins.

“Yeah, I think so. I think I do.” She pauses for a moment before continuing. “Are you in love with Y/N? Is that what this is about?”

“Yeah. I am,” he tells her.

“Wow,” she says.

“What?”

“Nothing. Billy Hargrove wanting to be a better brother and he’s fallen in love? Crazy shit.”

“You’re such a pain in the ass, you know that?”

They’re both quiet for a moment, the only sounds being the roar of the engine and the wind.

“I’m sorry, you know,” Max says. “I know I’m not that great of a sister either. I don’t exactly do anything to make your life easier.”

“That’s not your job. I’m the one that’s supposed to look out for you, Max.”

“That’s the thing though, Billy. You’re really not. It’s supposed to be my mom. You’re a kid too. And I could be better. Maybe Neil wouldn’t get so mad at you if I didn’t do things to piss you off so often.”

“Max, that’s not your fault,” he tells her. “My dad is an asshole.”

“I know, I know. I’m just saying. I’ll try to be better.”

“Why don’t we both give that a shot, huh? Try not to treat each other like shit. And for the record, I’m sorry too. I’m a dick to you all the time.”

Max nods and smiles at him.

They’re both trying. And that’s a start.

————

“How do you feel about Billy?”

Your mother is making brownies, with you sat at the counter. She only makes them when she wants to talk or when she’s worried about you.

“He’s my best friend.”

Nicky smiles to herself over the bowl of batter. “That’s all?” she asks.

“I don’t know.”

“I think you do know. I think you’re afraid to say it because of how all of your previous friendships have gone. You’re afraid,” she pauses, stirring aggressively for a moment, “that you’re going to lose your best friend again.”

Nicky looks up. “Aren’t you?”

You stare at her, and then relent, nodding.

“So how do you really feel about Billy, Y/N?”

You think for a second, tracing your index finger over the lines in the countertop.

It’s like Billy is learning you. He knows now what makes you anxious. What makes you uncomfortable. And he’s trying. Trying to be there for you and be available, which you know isn’t easy for him.

But you want to be there for him just as much as he is for you.

That’s the thing. You’re both trying.

You can tell when he’s had a bad night. He’s extra quiet before school starts, his hands never leave his pockets, or a cigarette never leaves his mouth. Sometimes it’s like he just needs you to sit there with him. Like he did with you at lunch that first day. He needs to know there’s someone on his side.

There are these times where he’s able to be himself. He calls you after you’ve leant him a book, and he’s pissed about something or other.

Why the fuck would you let me read this?

He head-bangs in the car with you, taps his hands in time with the song. Something he only ever did in the safety of his room. Maybe even sings a little before he catches himself and hope you didn’t hear. You always do.

And when he lets himself laugh it’s like you could fucking die. He’s so gorgeous it hurts.

You don’t know if you can tell her.

“Mom, I—” You cut yourself off and sink in on yourself.

She’s quiet.

“It’s okay to say it, honeybee. You’re safe to tell me, you know. And if it helps, I really don’t think he’s going to hurt you.”

You stand up, walk over to where she’s pouring the mix into a pan. She slides it into the oven, sets a timer.

Nicky waits. She knows you can do it.

“Mom.”

“Yeah?”

“Mom, I love him.”

She holds out her arms and you hug her. She smells like cinnamon and chocolate and this vanilla shampoo she’s used since forever because she swears nothing else is as good for her hair.

“I’m scared,” you tell her. “I’ve never felt like this before. But he makes me feel so safe.”

Nicky is so proud of you. Of your opening up to her and yourself. Letting yourself feel.

She pulls you back, places both of her hands on your cheeks. “It’s okay to be scared. All of these feelings can be scary. But I want you to know how important and wonderful it is that you’ve found someone who makes you feel safe and comfortable. He makes you feel that way, right?”

“Yeah.”

“And that’s so good. You’re going to figure it out. I know you are. I’m so proud of you, honeybee.”

You nod again and again, your nose stinging with tears that you will away.

The timer goes off, its shrill ring ruining the heartfelt moment. Nicky’s laugh is sticky sweet. She lets you go, shutting the thing up with a turn of its dial.

“You gonna want frosting or no?”

“Maybe a little,” you say.

You walk to the living room, catching the start of Jeopardy! and leaving your mother in the kitchen, in her zone. It’ll take a while for the brownies to cool anyways.

You’re slumping against the couch when you hear tires screeching, the roar of an engine a little ways down the street. You know it’s Billy. The car door slams.

You think something might be wrong.

————

Billy’s hands are shaking. He watches Max go inside, but stays leaning against the Camaro, lighting a cigarette. She goes up the stairs, shoots him a look as she throws the back door open.

Max was late leaving Dustin’s place. They’ve been trying to teach her to play D&D, and she got lost in it today, the one time Will’s monsters hadn’t completely faked her out.

Billy lay on the horn three separate times before he finally went inside, telling her it was time to go. She really, really hadn’t meant to be late.

Billy didn’t say a word during the drive home. He knew it was going to be bad. He just knew it. They were forty five minutes late from the time Neil had said he wanted them back.

So now, Billy stood outside, trying to toughen up before facing what he knew was waiting for him.

He stomps his cigarette out, locks the car. He makes his way inside and gets through the dining room where he sees Neil sitting at the table, but he keeps walking. He makes it through the kitchen. He passes the living room, where Susan is reading a book, though she’s not really reading.

The electricity that runs through the house is tangible. Max sits on the edge of her bed, knee bouncing up a storm. She waits for it to start.

Billy doesn’t make it any further. Neil’s footsteps are heavy on the hardwoods as he walks down the hall.

“You’re late.”

Billy closes his eyes before turning around. He knows better than to not face his father when he’s speaking. “I know. I’m sorry.”

“What was that?” Neil’s hands are on his hips now.

Billy’s heart is pounding. “I’m sorry, sir. It won’t happen again. Max was just spending time with her friends.”

Neil ignores Billy’s explanation. “Responsibility. We’ve talked about this, again and again, isn’t that right, Billy?”

“Yes, sir.”

“I don’t care if your sister is having the best time of her life. I tell you to be home at a certain time, then that’s when you’re home. It is your responsibility to get her back here and to respect my rules, is that clear?”

“Yes, sir. I understand.”

Billy thinks for a second that it’s over. In the other room, Max hopes it is too. She’s chewed off all her nails listening to them talk.

Neil drops his hands, drags one over his mustache and sighs. Billy starts to walk away.

“You know what, Billy? You’ve been late an awful lot lately. It’s because you’ve been hanging out with that slut from down the road isn’t it?”

Billy freezes. Usually, he just lets it go. Locks himself in his room, cries it out. Smokes it out.

But he just made this about you.

Billy turns around. “What did you just say?”

Neil stalks closer to his son, raises his voice.“You got your own whore now, huh? You’re just like your mother.”

Billy’s brow furrows, and feels like he’s burning. Max doesn’t know what to do. She’s never heard Neil say something like that before.

Billy gets just as close to Neil as he is to Billy. “Fuck you.”

Neil laughs. It’s heartless. He cocks his head. “I’m sorry?”

“I said. Fuck. You.”

Neil puffs out his chest and straightens his back. Billy knows he shouldn’t have said that. He doesn’t really care.

Neil is looking at Billy like he’s prey. And then Neil hits him. Max can hear the sound Neil’s fist makes as it cracks against her brother’s jaw. He’s got Billy by the collar and up on the wall before the boy can even struggle to move away.

“Get off me,” Billy yells.

“Who do you think you are, huh? Talking to me like that. I am your father, and you are to give me nothing but your respect.”

Billy shoves his father as hard as he can, hooks his hands under Neil’s elbows, pushing him off.

“I said, get off me.”

Billy turns and makes for the door. Max rushes to try and catch him. She knows it’s her fault. She wants to fix things.

“Billy—” she starts, but he cuts her off.

“Stay out of this. And stay here, Max.” He’s angry, but his tone softens just for a moment when he speaks to her.

Billy is outside before anyone can do anything about it. He’s got his keys, but he doesn’t trust himself to drive. He’s never fought back before. That was a completely different thing in there.

Billy walks to the other side of the road, starts on the shitty sidewalk. He feels like he can’t breathe. His entire body is shaking. He finds that stupid ass brick wall that you’d once visited him at, and he sits, holding onto it before he collapses.

His heart is beating so fast it hurts. He hasn’t had one of these in so long. He’s clutching the brick so hard he thinks he might have scrapes on his fingertips.

He starts to breathe in, and then he counts. He breathes out.

He keeps going until he doesn’t feel like he’s going to die anymore. When it’s over, he’s just as angry.

————

You’re standing in the kitchen, shoving your face with a brownie when you look up, and Billy is walking around outside. He looks upset. You don’t know if you should go out or not. You should, shouldn’t you?

Your mom left to pick up a couple movies for the both of you to watch tonight. Some of the few you didn’t have copies of.

You walk to the front door and pull it open.

“Billy?”

You’re stood on the stoop when he catches your eye. He’d been contemplating whether or not to go to you for the past ten minutes.

“Do you want to come in?”

He does. He doesn’t think he should, but he does. He walks toward you anyways.

You offer him half of your brownie. He takes it only so that he doesn’t have to talk yet.

You both stand in your entryway, silently eating your brownies before you look at him.

You swallow, wipe your hands on your pants. “Billy, your cheek is red.”

“No shit, really?” His tone that would usually be teasing isn’t. It’s just snarky. It’s almost mean.

And he regrets it immediately. You have no idea what just happened.

You raise your eyebrows at the way he just spoke to you.

He’s upset, clearly, and you think you know why, but you’re not going to push it out if he’s not ready. You’re not going to let him be a dick to you though either.

“Watch the attitude, Hargrove.”

“Or what, huh? You gonna tell me what a piece of shit I am too?”

“Billy, stop.”

He’s hurting. You can feel it.

“You gonna put everything on me? Treat me like I’m just this fucking burden? Huh, Y/N?”

“Billy, enough.” You’re dead serious. You mean it when you say that. You look him in the eye, and he stops.

“I can tell something’s wrong, but you don’t have to come over here and yell at me about it. If you want to talk, we can talk. That’s what I’m here for. Just stop, okay?”

“Fine.”

“What happened?” You ask.

Billy tells you everything. He lets it all out, and it’s like he’s showing you his hand. He’s being vulnerable and he hates it. But he knows you don’t care. You want him to be vulnerable with you.

“And you’ve never done that before?”

“No.”

“But you did tonight.”

“Yeah.”

“Why?”

“Y/N, I just told you.”

“Say it again.”

“Because of you,” Billy starts. “Because he brought you into it and I wasn’t going to let him talk about you like that.”

“Billy. I’m not worth you getting hit over.”

“Baby, please don’t say that. Shit, why would you say that? You’re worth everything.”

“If you say so.”

“I do say so.”

You grin, and he smiles at you. He looks so pretty.

“You think it’ll bruise?”

“I hope not. Guess we’ll find out though,” he says.

You lean in, and kiss Billy’s cheek. It’s so soft that he might not even know you’d done it if he couldn’t see you.

“Come on, you’re not gonna hurt me. You can do better than that.”

“Greedy.”

“‘S your fault,” he argues.

You kiss him on the forehead a little more firmly. Then on his nose.

You pause, running a finger over said nose until he wrinkles it at you. “I love your nose.” He just watches you. You’ve practically got sparkles in your eyes. You graze your thumb over his freckles.

“Anything else you love?”

He’s giving you an opening. You decide to take it. What’s the point in keeping it from him?

“You.”

He wasn’t expecting you to have taken it.

“What?”

“You asked if there was anything else I loved. I said you.” Your voice is soft. Kind.

“Y/N.”

“Billy.”

“You love me?” he asks, unsure.

“I do. Told my mom about it and everything.”

His head falls against your shoulder.

“Wanna know something?” he mumbles against you before raising his head again.

“‘Course I do.”

“I love you too. Told Max about it and everything.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, baby,” Billy says. “I love you.”

You take his face in your hands, looking at him, taking him in. Your eyes linger on his lips before moving up to lock with his, blue orbs burning into your soul.

“Yes or no?” you ask.

“Yes.”

You press your lips against his, softly at first, but then a little harder when you find your rhythm. Billy smiles into it, and when you pull away, he’s quick to kiss you again and again.

————

Nicky gets home and unlocks the door, pushing it open.

“Honeybee, I’m home. Wanna come look at these?”

You look at Billy where he lays on your chest. He groans. “Okay, let me get up, Billy. I’ll be right back.”

He sits up, but he’s not happy about it. He has quite literally never looked grumpier.

You make your way down the hall where you heard your mother wander off. “Mom?” you ask.

“In here.” She’s taking her shoes off.

“Billy’s here,” you blurt out. “He had a bad day and came over, and then we started talked and I told him.” You stop, realizing that was one long ramble and she’d just gotten home.

She kicks off her shoes and stands, smiling brilliantly at you.

“You told him what, exactly?” She wants to hear you say it.

You roll your eyes. “That I love him.”

She claps her hands, rings clinking together. She kisses your forehead, and it makes an audible mwah sound.

“I’m so happy for you, honeybee.” Her expression changes quickly, though, a look of concern crossing her face. “He said it back, right? He loves you too?”

You nod, and she visibly calms down. “Yeah. He loves me too.”

“Good. Shit, that’s so reassuring. I’m gonna change. Is he staying for movies?”

You grin, happy she’s happy. “I’ll go ask.”

You venture back to the living room, where Billy sits on the couch, arms crossed over his chest.

“I’ll be right back my ass,” he says, looking up at you with a pout on his face.

You sit down beside him, grab his arms and pull them apart. “Sorry, sorry.” You rub the callouses on the palms of his hands with your thumbs. “You wanna stay for movies?”

Billy thinks for a second. He doesn’t want to go home. “Is that okay?”

“Duh.”

“You’re such a little shit.” You stick your tongue out at him. “Case in point,” he says.

You go to roll your eyes and he stops you. “Don’t even think about it.” You roll them anyways.

He almost makes some other quip, but a thought crosses his mind. Max. He doesn’t want to leave her in that house all night with his father. He’s always scared maybe if he’s not there she’ll be next. It’s almost been Susan before.

“Do you think Max could join us?”

“Sure she could.” You don’t even think about it, and Billy’s insides turn to mush.

So he calls her, and when she picks up, the first thing she does is ask where Billy is. He tells her. Max says Neil left with Susan. Didn’t say where they were going.

“Would you want to come over to Y/N’s and watch a movie? Or I can just take you to El’s or Lucas’s,” he says to her.

Maybe it sounds stupid, Max thinks, but she wants to spend time with Billy. You’ve been good for him. And clearly he’s in love with you and shit.

So Billy ends up walking down the street to get Max, who he then walks right back down to your house.

“I told her,” he says.

“That you’re stupidly in love with her?” she inquires.

“Watch it.” Max raises her hands in mock surrender. “But yeah.”

Max smiles at him. “Stop that,” he says.

————

“You like brownies, Max?” Nicky asks her.

“I do.”

“Good thing I have some then, huh? Here.” She hands her an enormous chunk of brownie, frosting sloppily slathered over the top of it. Max looks giddy at the sight of it in her hands.

The four of you sit in the living room, and your mother turns on Footloose. Billy promises not to complain. Max doesn’t buy it.

Nicky sets up shop in her oversized chair, while you sit in between Max and Billy on the couch. You lean over, lowering your voice to speak to the redhead. She leans towards you in response.

“What are your thoughts on Kevin Bacon?”

“He’s cute. Looks good in those jeans.”

You hold up your hand for a high five, which she gives you. “I’m glad we agree.”

Billy looks over at you, feigning betrayal. You shrug your shoulders, and he snatches the rest of your brownie from you. You gasp and go to pinch his thigh, but he takes your hand, holding it to his chest. He settles further into the couch, throwing his leg over yours.

Max would probably fake gag or something, but Kevin Bacon is much too entertaining.

Nicky, on the other hand, looks at you and Billy fondly. You look content. That’s all she’s ever wanted for you. That and someone willing to watch Footloose with you.

————

please let me know if you liked this! feedback is always appreciated!! comments and reblogs mean more than you know. <33

#billy hargrove #billy hargrove x reader #billy hargrove x fem!reader #billy hargrove x you #billy hargrove x y/n #billy hargrove fanfiction #billy hargrove imagine #billy hargrove fluff #billy hargrove angst #billy hargrove fic #billy hargrove fanfic #billy hargrove x female reader #billy stranger things fic #billy stranger things #max mayfield #billy hargrove comfort #savannah’s fics

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kairiscorner · 1 year ago

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I LOVE LOVE LOVE UR WRITING SO MUCH!!!!! seeing your fic reqs r open, could i maybe get some (platonic) headcanons of hobie w a reader who views him as an older brother? Looking up to him, copying him (like things he says, copying his accent without realizing, making the same gestures he does, etc) generally seeing him as family even if it's not blood related!! maybe the reader also stays with him due to like, their dimension collapsing or something like that just to throw in some angst!!! ty have a nice day:3

HELLOOOOOOO ooo, i love this <:)) thank you for the permission to add angst here <333 ANYWAY, I HOPE YOU LIKE THIS !!!!!!!

(reblogs are greatly appreciated, it helps get my content out there! if you guys like what you see, please reblog it too <:D)

hobie brown with a sibling figure!spider person!reader headcanons

hobie's honored to have you think of him as an older brother, as family–especially if you didn't have the nicest or most well-off family, he would want to protect you, keep you company, be your home away from home.

he has nothing but utter adoration and respect for you as a person, because hobie knows that not every spider person out there has the best life–him included–and he knows that you've had your fair (or unfair) share of tragedies in life and he wants to keep you safe from all of that, or at least be there to comfort you when you're struggling.

he'd sneak you out of your personal quarters in the spider society even when it's lights out already, he'd sneak you some food you like when you miss home or don't feel like eating the food in the cafeteria, and he'd always stand up for you when you're being scolded by the higher-ups at the society.

he finds it really cute when you copy his accent or way of speaking, it makes him crack up every time. he likes that when he's upset, you talk to him in the manner he does the best you can and just... make him chuckle with how butchered it sounds and tell you that's not how he sounds while stifling a laugh in spite of the hurt, disappointment, or anger he was feeling before that.

when you subconsciously start speaking like he does randomly, to him and to other people, he laughs aloud while you're just confused as to why he's laughing. he tells you that's an actually good impression of him, when you don't realize you were impersonating him, and you embarrassed/flustered face just makes it all the more cute and funny for him.

you both dunk on miguel when he's not looking, especially if the two of you share the same rebellious sentiments. you both make fun of him and other simple minded people in your lives, it helps relieve you of stress and gets a good laugh out of you both.

he loved visiting your dimension and just seeing all the fun things you had going on for you there, and the one thing he wants to do with you while there is take you to the park. you'd ask him why, but he just takes your hand and guides you to the swing sets, and tells you that–as your honorary big brother–he has the duty of swinging you high up and until you scream to be brought down.

he loves going on the merry-go-round with you and just spinning you until you're both dizzy as hell and wobbling, though he catches you when you're about to fall, only to fall down himself–just breaking your fall.

when you end up showing at his place one day out of the blue, horrified and spent, just breathing heavily and being despondent to his questions of what happened to you, he doesn't pry any more and just brings you into his place, trying everything he can to make you comfortable.

after you find the courage to tell him your universe had collapsed, he feels his own heart sink as he extends his sympathy towards you. he offers his ears to be the ears that'll listen to you, his shoulder for you to cry on, and his place to be your place now, too.

he gets concerned for you after you end up not being yourself for a while, being a little too quiet and unresponsive when he speaks to you. he feels saddened about you losing everything and everyone you love, and knowing that you're the only survivor from your universe that had countless people... it hurt you, which made you recluse, and made hobie feel worried about you.

he can't reassure you that everything will be back to what it once was, but he can assure you that he'll do everything in his power to make everything feel a little less painful and scary for you. he'll keep protecting, comforting, and being with you until you're okay, even if that day may never come. he's gonna be here for you until the multiverse collapses, he'll be there for you no matter what, even if he's only holding on to a sliver of his life after protecting you the best he can–because he's your big brother hobie, and he won't let anybody hurt his beloved younger sibling, his family.

tags !! @k4tsu3 @fiannee @luvstarrstruck @toneystank-3000 @ii01vq @maxoloqy @popeheywardssecretgf @arachnoia @solecitoszn @conitagray

#hobie brown #hobie brown x reader #hobie brown x you #hobie brown x y/n #hobie brown fluff #hobie brown angst #hobie brown fanfiction #atsv #atsv hobie #atsv fluff #atsv angst #atsv imagines #spiderverse #spider punk #across the spiderverse #spiderman across the spiderverse #spiderman across the spiderverse x reader #spiderman across the spiderverse fluff

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justanamesstuff · 6 months ago

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I wasn’t going to do this because I thought it was cheesy and corny and not many care. but I care and this was my blog for the last few years, even though it changed a lot more a year ago (blame the 1975 for that blessing hehe). So here I go....

First thing i have to say is THANK YOU. I’m not just saying it, I really mean it from the bottom of my heart. Thank you for all the support, for all the interactions, for many many memories I’ll tell --to whoever listens to my rants-- when my elderly days come haha. Thank you for being so nice to me, thank you for starting conversations when I was/am too shy to start those because you are all so cool and I feel a bit intimidated. I’ll never forget that you were there with me during the hardest time I had to go through (still am) when my dad passed away…I wasn’t expecting that level of affection and love but you proved me otherwise. Thank you for all that and more.

Secondly, I’m sorry. I’m sorry for all the fics i didn’t read and support, I’m sorry for the comments I didn’t leave. I’m sorry for all the things I promised to write, post, but never get to do. I’m sorry for the moments you expected me to be there and I wasn't, not because I didn’t want, only because I was too focused on the shit I was going through that moment even though it’s not an excuse. I’m sorry if any comment I made hurt someone (I hope this never happened but if it’s the case…I’m sorry). I’m sorry for all the typos and mistakes I’ve made hehe.

Something I also want to say is the fact that I had many good moments here…I've met people that I can call friends and I hope they will be in my life for the rest of it. The 75tumblr gave me more than what I can return. I only had one really bad experience that only made me appreciate my mutuals and friends much more...you have always been so nice and supportive that nothing or no one can overshadow that <333

I want to speak more about the great people I’ve met here…there are so many, I’m that lucky!! I love my mutuals, my friends, and everyone I got a chance to interact with here. When the first months of being part of the fandom went by, I was so surprised about the family feeling and the positivity going around it. This fandom is beautiful beyond compare, it has its difficult moments from time to time but like any family right? Each and every one of you is incredible…so kind, so talented and so supportive of the guys and the rest of the community created specially here. That’s something to applaud and be proud of every day!!

I have to say thank you to the guys because through them, I’ve met you…and specifically because they arrived into my life during one of the hardest moments of my anxiety and depression. The four of you meant so much to me that it’s incredibly difficult to put into words without thinking of Matty rolling his eyes at me in my imagination 😅😅 I love the four muppets so much!

Well, I won’t extend this more so…it’s been a pleasure guys! I love you all as I always try to tell you, I’ll love you for the rest of my days! And I hope universe, god, life, whatever crosses our paths again somehow.

All the love,

#it isnt a goodbye #its a see you later guys #also sorry because this is long and makes me cringe a little #love you guys

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pyrodolls · 1 year ago

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hey!! could you write a havik x earthrealm reader celebrating Valentine’s Day at the reader’s request?

heart to heart (havik x gn! reader)

warnings: gore i guess? and both of you being weirdos but its ok ur weirdos in love. there’s also a rickroll at the end.

summary: kinda funny story of havik celebrating valentine’s day with gender neutral reader!! (cuz i can’t imagine him celebrating valentines in a normal way LMAO he’s chaotic ok.)

a/n: anon… did u read my mind.. cuz i was gonna write a valentine’s themed story with havik but i decided not to bc it wasn’t valentine’s yet.. but i have an excuse now 😈 also i went off the rails with this I’M *REALLY* SORRY ANON!!

“what is this.. valentine’s day you speak of?” havik asked. you had brought up the idea of valentine’s day with him, since the day was coming up and you wanted to see if your lover was interested in celebrating with you.

“well, it’s a holiday in earthrealm. not everyone celebrates it, but usually we use it as a day to appreciate our significant others. we gift them candies or some other goods.” you explained.

“…what else?” he asked, genuinely interested in your home’s customs.

“hmm… we put up decorations i suppose. a lot of red, white, and pink everywhere. and hearts. usually people gift their partners something heart shaped.” you added.

a comical lightbulb appeared above havik’s head as soon as he heard you say that.

the next day, which was valentine’s day, you awoke to a box in front of yours and havik’s bed. it literally smelled like shit. did someone send you shit in a box???

“good day, my beloved.” havik greeted, sitting up in bed and looking as if he woke up before you.

“good morning, havik. did you send me this?” you asked. he nodded, gesturing you to open it.

when you opened it, it was as if havik gave you his heart.

literally. his heart was in the box.

you looked over to him and he had a giddy expression on his face as if he did the funniest thing possible.

“what? i heard you earthrealmers gave each other your hearts!”

“NOT LITERALLY.”

(real life image of havik giving you his heart drawn by me :333)

(ok ok now i’ll take it seriously LMAOOOO)

“good day, my beloved.” havik greeted. he was standing over the bed you both shared, looking strangely excited.

“good morning.. you look excited.” you pointed out, getting up out of bed.

“you should look outside.” havik grinned mischievously.

you gave him a confused look before you stepped outside to see a few bloody clothes on the ground.

“whose clothes are these?” you asked.

“these are the clothes of every person you ever wanted dead. surprise.” havik cackled. damn, he really killed them for you, he’s a keeper.

“i see..” you knew it was wrong. but damn, you wanted them dead so bad. and he did it for you, as a valentine’s day gift. you knew he wouldn’t give you a traditional gift since he’s a chaotic guy, but you definitely didn’t expect this. in your own twisted way, you were deeply grateful for what he did.

“thank you so much, love. i appreciate it.” you told him.

“that’s not all… i also made sure you don’t have any duties for today. you may choose how you want to spend your.. valentine’s day.” havik said, proudly. he was giving you the freedom to choose how you wanted to spend your day.

you chose to spend your day with him. you didn’t really care how you spent it, you were just glad to be around him. he felt the same towards you. havik refused to follow society’s traditional rules of valentine’s day. he wanted to be a little chaotic and mix things up a bit, but he understood that you just wanted to appreciate each other that day.

you wouldn’t change it for the world. he’s a bit strange and refuses to do anything traditionally, but at least he is being himself and still loves you. he loves and appreciates you a *lot* but he just shows his affection for you in a.. unique way. you are the light in his life and he would never give you up or let you down. just let him be a little weird with how he expresses his feelings, and you’re good.

(even tho he refuses to admit it, he does sleep that night in peace with you and clings onto your sleeping form like a sloth to a tree. he’s just so relaxed because he had a good day with you! a weird day. but when do you *not* have a weird day with havik? maybe you two will do this “valentine’s” thing again next year.)

#havik x reader #havik #mk havik #mortal kombat 1 x reader #mk x reader #i guess this is a crack fic?#im sorry its not very romantic #hes just SILLY he cant take anything seriously #love him sm #hes so weird i love him

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sweetkpopmusings · 2 years ago

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jisung coworker headcanons <3

a/n: when i tell you thinking of coworker!skz fills me with joy and peace, i am not lying <3 i'm so endeared by jisung as he is a silly little guy and i hope in a different universe i am in fact his coworker :,-) pics not mine !!

content: fluff, nonidol!au | wc: 0.9k | warnings: none! | pairing: coworker!jisung x gn!reader | requests: open

you meet him because you're having a strange problem with the main program you use at work

and one of your coworkers sends you his way because "jisung can fix anything"

you were like okay don't know why you emphasized "anything" but i can't finish my project like this so i'll go see the ~mystical jisung~

your coworker was right because 1) jisung fixed your issue within 5 minutes 2) you watched him fix problems for 3 other people WHILE he was helping you

he's the office ace

which is how you get to know him because you have a week where all of your technology, equipment, etc are cursed

jisung's just like "damn if you wanted to get to know me you could've just bought me a coffee" he actually says that to you

he doesn't expect you to buy him a coffee though

when you do, he gets the widest eyes and a huge smile on his face <333 suddenly he's so shy and thanks you softly <333

after that, he says "good morning !!" every day and will say "hi :-)" whenever he passes you in the office :,-) he still feels a lil shy after you were so nice to him, but he wants to show his appreciation by being kind to you in return <3

next thing you know though, he's talking a million miles an hour every time he sees you because he wants to be official coworker besties !

y'all end up having SO much to talk about

whenever something exciting, funny, or ridiculous happens, you are the first person he tells and vice versa

he also constantly suggests to you and asks for your recommendations on movies and shows

he wants to debrief with you every time both of you have watched something and he'll do impressions to make you laugh

sometimes he gets you in trouble because of how much he talks to you during the workday

but you don't care because it's SO refreshing to get so much serotonin from one person

outside of fun chats, he's actually a really helpful coworker

not just with fixing tech/program issues, though

if you're having a hard time putting together a workflow for a project, choosing a template for a document, or simply writing an email, jisung is by your side helping you out (and encouraging you!!)

you're also the only person in the entire company he'll go to for help

he trusts you so much actually !!! because you're the one person who doesn't put him on a pedestal for his skills. you tell him all the time how he's so talented at literally everything he does, but you like him for so many other reasons that he doesn't feel uncomfortable being himself around you

which is why, if he knows you two are the only ones in a certain area of the office, he WILL break out into song off-key

you're getting a full performance every time you are in the break room together

he especially does this when you two have to stay late because "we need to stay energized, y/n!!! where's your team spirit?"

he will become an absolute mess of laughter on the floor if you do a ridiculous performance

probably has to take a break after because he laughed so hard his stomach hurts

he'll also use you as an excuse to get out of things LOL

if someone he isn't fond of wants to meet with him to finish a report or something when they could just do it online, he'll say "oh, sorry, i'm working with y/n on a big project, so my calendar is pretty stacked. i'll review it and leave comments for you though!"

he's obviously a cool and adorable guy, so people ask him to after-work hangs a LOT. he's not mad at it, but, he isn't the biggest fan of awkward small talk with some coworkers

so he'll hit them with "ah, i wish i could, but y/n and i are going to the movies tonight, so i'll have to do a raincheck!"

he runs up to your desk and panic whispers things like "if anyone asks we're going wine tasting on friday night !!!!!"

and you're like ???? wine tasting ???

one of y'all's coworkers walks by so instead of explaining, jisung loudly says, "yeah, i heard they're suuuuuuuuuper famous for their red blend too. should be fun to see how it compares to the rest of their wine repertoire!"

you're holding back laughter at his commitment to the bit

this happens so many times you stop questioning it and play along, much to jisung's delight !!

he always assures you that you don't have to actually go anywhere with him, but you often do because it's so fun to hang out together

jisung's antics also include pranking you

like say your office does a gift exchange for the holidays. jisung begs on his KNEES to get your name

when you are handed your gift, you immediately know it's from jisung

because he's giggling and making comments like oooOOoOoOOooOOoooOoohhh let's see what you got, y/n!! open your present first!!!

he's such a silly guy he can't hide his excitement :,-)

once you open it you're both laughing your asses off because he managed to get you a rubber chicken that has a customized squeak so it's actually audio of jisung imitating a rubber chicken

for as much as you're doubled over in laughter, he is in total hysterics because he loves his own joke so much <3

jisung is legitimately the best coworker buddy you could ever ask for, and he has no clue how he survived so long at work without you

if you make any joke about quitting he'll always say "yeah if you quit i'm coming with you. you're never getting rid of me >:-)"

and he really means it <3333

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starssunsoftheinfinite · 11 months ago

Note

just remembered your requests are open!!!

Can I request a Loki with like...a winged s/o? Maybe half-bird?? Or angel, I guess? Preferably male but gender neutral is fine if you prefer that

Also the s/o is really, really tall. Taller than him.

sorry if this is too vague lol. I can make it more specific if you need.

love your writing btw!!!! Thank you good night!!!

-💚💚

Did I disappear for like... A large amount of time? Yes, yes I did. BUT I AM BACK WITH A VENGEANCE and I have lots of writing to do and ideas. I believe I actually stared this ask like.. A week after I got it? And I'd been working on it on and off since fjdjdj. I actually finished it just now and thought I'd make sure I get it out immediately dhdjjd you have waited long enough

─── ･｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

Loki x male! Winged! Tall! Y/n

Fluff/comfort/angst but only if you take your glasses off and squint within an inch of your life/the intimacy of cleaning someone you love my beloved

Warnings: none that I can think of! Maybe like... Sort of poor hygiene on your part? But not like anything detrimental it's just very hard to clean big old fluffy things attached to your back!! I also left the visual of the wings very vague. Loki does call you Dove but it's your choice whether or not that's because you look like a dove or if it's just cute <333

─── ･｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

"look at you" he says and his voice is like warm milk soothing a sore throat. Where you stand you feel like all eyes are on you, even if the only eyes are his. Your bathed in candlelight that flickers against your face, dipping in and out of the contours of your skin. Your wings are spread wide just as he had asked. Loki likes to see you like this, likes to witness you vulnerable. Usually your beauty is hidden by golden armour shimmering in sunlight and as much as Loki likes gold, he likes you more. So when night falls and you shed your armour in favour of soft shirts and loose trousers he savours it. He has you standing by the wall facing his bed while Loki leans on the bedpost with his arms crossed and his eyes trained on you. "I much prefer you like this instead of hidden away under all that metal." he says as he pushes off the wooden post in favour of walking towards you at an agonisingly slow pace.

For lack of a better term, you want to snuggle. Desperately so. You want to be held, to hold, to nuzzle into Loki's shoulder and take in his scent until you drift off into peaceful slumber. So you'd rather appreciate it Loki would come a little closer. He's strong as anyone, probably stronger than you, he is a god after all, but you're taller so you could probably man handle him into cuddle. Maybe. Loki's hands rest on either side of your face once he's close enough and he looks up at you like your the most wonderful thing in the world. You don't know how he does it really. "thank you. For letting me stay here at night." you say, just above a whisper. "oh my sweet boy, you've done so much today." he begins, his hands trailing to rest on your waist. "you need some time in the quiet. Besides, I need to clean up those wings- you really need to remember to do that." he says but it's barely chastising.

Your lips spread into a wide smile as he takes your hand and pulls you to the bed, gently pressing on your chest until you sit on the edge. Your forehead is just around the middle of his chest now, your head tilting back only a little until Loki's Face is back in your line of sight. Loki gives you a quick peck on the forehead before slipping behind you, kneeling in the silk sheet and begginning to undo the back tie at the bottom of your shirt. Having something with an intact collar and an open back that you tie up at your lower back was one of the only ways you could figure out to allow your wings free range in your shirts. Loki had helped with sewing when you were fixing your clothing, kind thing he is. He slips your shirt off with ease, leaving you comfortably bare as his hands smooth over the skin on your back. "poor thing. All messy." he cooes, his index finger trailing over the feathers on your left wing, watching them brissle beneath his fingertips. Your head ducks a little. You'd never been good at pruning yourself. It was a hassle, so intricate and it just took up so much time that you didn't have to give. So you often left it until it got bad, even if it hurt. This was something Loki frequently scolded you for but you never seemed to listen. So now he sits rearranging feathers while you scrunch your face in discomfort. "easy does it" loki whispers after you let out a particularly pathetic squeak. "doesn't hurt too much, does it?" he asks, as cool and composed as usual but the hint of concern spoke loudly to trained ears. You shake your head "it hurts more to leave them. It's mostly.. Uncomfortable really. Gets sort of itchy and gross feeling." you shrug and your words earn a stern look from Loki "then perhaps you should stop leaving them." he scolds softly. You know he's right but you argue nonetheless. " it's too much hassle. With training, duties, everything.. I don't have much time and the time I do have I'd rather not spend cleaning hundreds of feathers." it's understandable really but Loki worries and you understand that too. You choose to ignore how nice it feels to have Loki fix your wings up. You're lovers, affection is no stranger to either of you, but admitting that part of the reason you 'forget' to prune is because you like it when Loki fusses over you may just be a little too embarrassing. Loki let's out a small hum and smooths his fingers over the last few feathers.

You arnt quite sure when he got a sponge and bowl of soapy water, you presume some magic was involved, but either way you feel Loki press a wet sponde to the base of your wings. You turn your head to look behind you, your eyes falling down on Loki where he sits "little warning next time." you chuckle and he grins back at you. He soaks your feathers, watching them flatten out and eventually the majority of your wings are soaked. "see? Isn't this nice? All clean." loki hums like he's trying to convince a child vegetables are good. "yes it is nice. But only because I'm not the one doing it. My arms would be aching by now." that's another reason cleaning tour wings was such an unattractive idea. Your shoulders ached like hell after, constantly reaching behind you. "I suppose that's true. But if you needed a cleaning you should have asked. You didn't need to wait until tonight. I'll clean you up during your breaks if I have to." it's sweet, really. To have a prince take time out of his day to clean you. Perhaps there is some sort of metaphor or commentary on something in those words but at the moment your too focused on how Loki's hands feel gently rubbing a towel on your feathers. "I don't want to bother you" you say as your head ducks down in relaxation. "you're royalty, Loki. It already feels odd to always look down at you, you should not have to stoop even lower and clean me at my command." you admit. Despite how nice it feels to be taken care of, that underlying worry is always there.

Loki's hand stops and for a moment you fear You have said something wrong. "I like looking up at you, Dove." you've always liked when he called you that. "I like having to crane my neck to get a good look at your face. It make it feel like a great reward after my efforts. And I like to clean you. The way you curl up in your wings after they have been cleaned, basking in the fresh scent is rather cute." he says and for a moment you don't quite believe him. It doesn't sound like him, really. He is cocky and sometimes even down right rude if the wrong person gets on his nerves, but with you... He's so soft. He takes any opportunity to give you attention and uses it to its fullest, he whispers sweet nothings to you as though he were not a God. It almost feels sacrilegious. "you're just saying that" you say, eyes flicking to the floor. "ah ah, I see you in the mirror on the wall over there, there will be no shameful looking down with me, young man. Eyes up" Loki quickly corrects and you do as asked without question. That darn mirror. "Darling. My love. You do not need to worry about whether or not I enjoy moments like this because the answer will always be yes. I adore you. That includes the cleaning. Especially if I get to cuddle with you afterwards, it's always so soft all wrapped up in your wings. " cuddling! You'd almost forgotten about your desperate need for a cuddle until it was mentioned. You glance behind you, trying to look at your wings as best you can" are they dry yet? " you ask and Loki tilts his head, gently rubbing your wings down with a towel." eager are we? They will be soon. Patience, Dove" Loki hums and you nod.

After a few more minutes of silent scrubbing, Loki sets the towel down and gently ruffles the base of your wings where the smallest, fluffiest feathers were. "all done, my love." Loki cooes and your turning around before he even finishes. "-oh my" he mutters and he is silently thankful he had 'magic-ed' away the bowl of water when it was no longer needed. You scoop him up with ease, your hands under your back as you swiftly pull him up towards the head of the bed. "I feel like a damsel in distress swept up by her Knight" he comments as you ease him down on the left side of the bed and Loki presses his face into the silk pillow. "apologies. It's just- been a while and as much as you tell me to be patient, I am not very good at that." you say and pull him closer, curling your wings around him like a fuzzy shield. Loki shakes his head and his gaze never leaves you, his eyes filled with adoration and the contours of his face lit by what little candlelight could sneak through your feathers. If 'I love you' had a face it'd be his. " I am certainly not complaining." he says and then his eyes glance down in thought, then return to you. Your head is pressed against the soft pillow like it's the most comfortable thing in the world and your arms hold Loki tight. "you really needed this, didn't you?" "the cleaning?" you interupt "no, Dove. Well, yes. But no. Just to be taken care of. Held, to hold, to be cleaned." You don't answer for a moment and really that's answer enough. Fighting was difficult, training was difficult, even maintaining your own wings was difficult. But Loki made it easier. So much easier. You nod "yes. I am grateful for my life. For who I have met because of my profession. But it is tiring. I needed this. Needed you. Thank you" your voice is softer than intended in the quiet room, the two of you curled up and protected in your wings as you both wind down from the long day. Lokis hands finds your face, cupping your cheeks and rubbing your cheekbones with his thumbs as though you were something precious or delicate. "oh my love. My darling boy. Should you need me, call for me. Perhaps even pray to me. I am God after all, I will hear. And when I hear that it is you who calls I will be there before you even finish. With open arms and gentle hands. And perhaps a bowl of soapy water. " it's such a simple declaration. Something usual for couples. It's not exactly monumental for a lover to tell you to reach out should you need them and yet when he does it feels like you'd been gifted the stars themselves. "I will. I will call for you." you whisper, pressing yourself impossibley closer, your foreheads resting against each other. "Good. Now close those eyes, my boy. You've earned your sleep. And you look so cute all curled up and sleepy, I'd much like to see that again" he hums and you can't help the grin on your lips as your eyes flutter shut. "goodnight, Loki." you say and just before sleep grasp you by the hand you hear a soft "Goodnight, My dove."

#Loki x reader #Loki x male reader #loki x y/n #Loki fanfic #X male reader #Male reader fanfic #Male reader

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