#also tfw I forgot I could actually post on tumblr instead of looking at other people's art all day

[rain-clowns]

this scene will live in my head forever tbh

[felicityb-reviews]

iKON "Love Scenario" MV Review

Tfw your mans gets lines when you weren't expecting him to

Hi guys!! My name is Jace (aka Felicity B), and iKON released something I didn't gay up straight up despise?!?! Sorcery...

*ahem*

Welcome to my review for Love Scenario!! I'm not gonna lie, I'm not in a love scenario for Love Scenario (hell, not even a like scenario), BUT!! It's a major improvement over previous title tracks. Specifically that it's not a four year old demo B.I made in 2.592 seconds, and YG made them release because it reminded him of M.A.D.E era BIGBANG.

~The Song~

*sigh*

I said this in my Neverland review, and I'm gonna say it here - I review music, not people. Granted, I don't actually like iKON (I might have caused some trouble a year and a half ago by calling them iKEA on Tumblr, but that's nothing y'all can prove), but I'm mature enough of an adult to not outright trash them unless they deserve it. To be honest, I pity iKON more than I actually dislike them; YG put a ridiculous amount of pressure on iKON to outsell WINNER be his most successful boy band since BIGBANG, but it didn't happen, so he exiled them to Japan. He also doesn't give Double B as much creative control over iKON's music as he acts like he does (if the company lets you make your own music but then tells you what kind of songs they want, that's not creative control). So, unless I address Double B or the other members of iKON by name, I'm not critiquing them.

I don't know why I put these disclaimers in my reviews, because I know someone is gonna see some random ass blurb, take it out of context, and then cry to their five followings that the Mean Black Gay™ dragged them when I call them out on it. It always fucking happens.

Love Scenario is not a bad song. It's not a particularly good song, but it's not straight up trash like Bling Bling. There are elements here that could make this song great, but they're overpowered by all the problems of the track.

Look, I wholly understand that YG wants iKON to be his Hood Fabulous™ NuGen boy band, but this song suffers because of the trap elements. Or rather, it suffers from Double B and MILLENIUM randomly throwing the trap beats into the song and then dropping them without warning. It gives Love Scenario a really stuttered start/stop pace, and that makes the song feel like it never actually gets off the ground.

I mean, there's the full time section at the end that reminds me of Black Pink's Whistle, but it's at the end, sis. Why these niggas always puttin' the best parts of the song at the end?!?!?! They did this same shit with Dumb and Dumber, and I'm still mad about that.

Two Years Later.

Moving on, I also found the excessive use of cowbells and claps on every beat in the prechorus and chorus sections to be annoying as fuck. Especially when it would have made a lot more sense to have dropped out all the percussion for the prechorus (except a snare roll to lead it into the chorus), and then pull the trap beats in at the start of the actual chorus. I'm really not trynna be shady (okay, maybe a lil bit), but it sounds like they forgot to turn off the click track in those bits, and when they did their first play though, they thought it sounded cool or somethin'.

Another problem I have with Love Scenario is that it suffers from crap line distribution. To be fair, it's not as bad as some previous iKON feature tracks (Dumb and Dumber *ahem*), but sis. What is the point of having a seven member group when only four of the members consistently get lines?!?!?! I'm so tired of iKON songs being 85% Double B, 10% Jinhwan/Junhoe, and the other three scrap over the last 5%. Y'all, I was whole ass Shook™ when I watched the Inkigayo comeback stage, and it was Yunhyeong who sang the bridge, not Jinhwan. That should not be A Thing™ for a group I've been following since their debut.

And while I'm asking the Big Man™ questions - why are Double B, iKON's rappers, singing more than Chanwoo and Yunhyeong?!?! E S P E C I A L L Y when the two of them rap the entirety of the verses?!?!?!

YG!!

SIS!!

I

DON'T

UNDERSTAND!!

~The Video~

The video for Love Scenario is directed by VM Project, and it shows. She's got a theme, every shot is deliberate (nothing seems like it was thrown in there just to fluff out the video), and the editing is tight. But while there were some really cool shots (like the 360 cam in the circle room, showing off the different stages of the relationship described in the song), this video it really fucking boring.

And before y'all flame my ass, I do realize that that's partially because this group doesn't do much for me. But it's also because this video is so painfully standard, it's boring. In fact, this video is probably the most boring video I've ever watched that was directed by VM Project.

Why?!?!!

Because, instead of focusing on the theme of the video (the comparison of a relationship to a film), the video is 90% choreography shots and iKON just bein' bros. In fact, I'm pretty sure YG blew most of the budget on those album teasers (that VM Project also directed), and that's a major contribution as to why this video is so lackluster.

I think this video could have been far more interesting, because of the metaphorical nature of the lyrics, but the Management™. She wasn't being particularly smart that day.

A Shame™.

Of course, when is Mistress YG ever being smart?!?!?

~The Choreography~

Love Scenario's routine works the same angle that many of iKON's previous routines (hell YGe routines, in general) have, and I'm bored. Granted, this one has a lil bit more creativity put into the formations.

But I'm still bored.

For those of you who've been here since BC (Before Chanwoo), YG would not shut his trap about iKON's dance skill. In every one of his frou frou ass press releases (sorry, personal letters to Da Fans™) about iKON/Team B, he would mention that they were a strong dance unit. And credit where it's due; they turned it out with the dance routines on their survival shows in a way that WINNER never did (which is to be expected when only two of the five members of WINNER actually liked to dance). But ever since their debut, iKON haven't given us anything close to what they're capable of.

And that's as much a critique against iKON as it is at YG's choreographers, because Black Pink's routines are just as whack. But catch me stannin' Black Pink, cause they actually give me something on stage.

In fact, one could easily frame why boy band stans who say that girl groups don't do as much on stage are speaking out of their ass with a comparison between Black Pink and iKON's performance abilities, but this isn't that kind of post. I'm just saying that iKON and YG's choreographers need to get it together, because a group of this caliber should not be outchea dancin' like 2016 EXO. It's not a cute look.

~Overall And Final Thoughts~

Quite frankly, I'm tired of YG Entertainment's bullshit, and iKON's output is a great example of why. This group has so much fucking potential (just like all their acts do), but this abominable agency has no fucking idea to carry that shit through. YG, himself, is a misogynist creep who literally does the most to do the fuckin' least, and I'm over it.

Y'all, it's been almost two and a half years, and I'm still waiting on this group to do S O M E T H I N G out of the box. And Love Scenario came so close, sis. SO CLOSE!! Those album teasers had me a lil hype. The music sounded like GroovyRoom phoning it in like they did for ONE's debut, but it was S O M E T H I N G. Hell, even the song teasers had me loosening the drawstrap on my wig!! But the final product missed mark.

And yes, as I've consistently pointed out throughout this review, it's not entirely fair for me to put so much of the blame on iKON. But sis, I don't know what I'm supposed to say!! I've given this group S O M A N Y chances to really nail my wig to wall (like I do all of YG's acts), but they continue to just be so damn lackluster.

Also, YG does the same bullshit to all his other acts!! But why is it that WINNER and AKMU and Lee Hi (who doesn't even write any of her own music) are able to release decent music, despite YG's bullshit, but not iKON!?!?! Why, sis?!?!!?

I just don't understand!!

Bottom line is that I'm tired of trying to like this group. They've shown some potential here, but it's not enough. Love Scenario would have a cute release back in 2015, but it's not 2015 anymore. iKON should be past this by now.