#also sovonight if you don't want to be tagged lemme know i can untag i just wanted to put this out there <3< /div> Explore tagged Tumblr posts

[loljulie]

(is it on brand for me to write for an obscure ship that’s over a decade old?? also, i tried writing this out in third person for a change, because of how the game works - it feels very 3rd person even if it’s your own character. def different but i love a challenge! special shoutout to @sovonight​ who’s art for exile x atton has rlly spurred me to write something, along with me just having general FEELs for atton. ALSO ALSO i haven’t finished the game yet so pls no spoilers, this takes place sometime throughout the course of it with a very pining and soft atton, and only based on what i have played, thank u love u bye) 

title: tonight 

genre: star wars: knights of the old republic 2 

atton x exile 

word count: 1704

The soft hum of the ship traversing through the depths of space are of little comfort to her. If she focuses hard enough, she can hear the steady breathing of the domoritory’s occupants; Kreia, sleeping on her side with her face toward the inner wall of the bunk, and Visas on her back with her arms resting just above her stomach.

The white noise should be soothing; it should ground her, have her feel connected and supported. In her current state, it only serves to do the opposite. The people in this room, and the starboard dormitory on the other side of the ship, are depending on her to lead them. They are loyal to her, and will follow her wherever she may go - but, where exactly is she going? What will come of her decision to seek all of the lost Jedi masters? Will she even find anything she is looking for? 

And now, as their fearless leader, she can’t even promise them that she will be well-rested and healthy for their travels, wherever they may take them. 

Bare feet hit the cold, metal floor as she decides that a walk through the sleeping ship is the only antidote for her insomnia. Her nightwear is long - soft, cream-colored fabric that covers her arms and legs to shield her skin from the coldness of deep space. It’s looser than her normal attire, which usually serves to give her comfortable mobility at while she sleeps. 

She pads through the ship, listening as it continues its journey. The lights throughout are dimmed, but still very much alive with color. She decides that the cockpit ought to be her final destination - while it may be brightly lit in some regards, the vast viewport should offer her a clear view of space that might soothe her. 

She sensed him as soon as she reached the entryway. He is in his usual seat, back to her and face toward the wide expanse of space. From this angle, she can’t tell what he’s doing, but she can surmise that he isn’t actively piloting. The ship has been in autopilot ever since they all broke off to rest. 

“Can’t sleep?” Her voice came as a surprise to Atton. She could tell as much by the way his back straightened as he turned to face her. 

“Seems like I’m not the only one,” was his response, as he rested his elbow against the headrest, his body turned sideways in the pilot’s seat. “What brings you all the way up here?” 

She smiles softly as his question. Honesty in this situation wouldn’t do any good, she figures. What good is a leader that is unsure of herself, of her capabilities? 

“I could ask you the same,” she muses as she walks toward the second pilot seat. She rests her elbows on the headrest, and stares out the viewport. Finally, she answers his question. “The stars. I wanted to see them.”

Atton knew it was a superficial answer. He didn’t really expect the Jedi to be honest with him about all of her inner demons and what kept her up at night. Though, from what he’s seen and heard, he knows that too many reasons to guess why she wouldn’t be able to sleep. 

He lets her answer hang in the air around them. It’s not so much a moment of contemplation, really; he sees how her face softens as she gazes out the viewport toward the endless starry pattern that surrounds them, and can’t think to interrupt the silence and her escape just yet. 

Instead, he focuses on how different she looks in that moment. Her hair is down, and it frames her face in a way he’s never seen before. Her features are softened by the somewhat tangled hair around her - no doubt caused by tossing and turning in the single-person cot. Her attire is clean and roomy around her, but it makes her seem less rigid and commanding than usual, less distant. He thinks she looks like an absolute vision. 

He doesn’t want to know, or even guess what thoughts have plagued her mind enough to keep her awake. Honestly, part of him is selfishly grateful for it, if only for the fact that it allowed him to see her in such a way that made his heartbeat quicken. Her business is her own, he decides, and the least he can do for his fearless leader is distract her from her troubles in the only way he knows how. “Pazaak?” He asks, holding up the deck in his hands, “Republic Senate rules?” 

She lets out a sigh - an air of laughter? Atton can’t help but wonder - and nods to her companion. He gives her a large grin before getting up from his seat. 

He sets the cards up on the floor of the cockpit - the only place where there is enough space for the game. Atton crosses his legs and leans against a wall of the cockpit as the Jedi sits on her knees across from him. 

The first cards are laid out. She is faced with a 5, while Atton has a 10. The Jedi looks at her side deck for a brief moment before nodding to Atton - a silent motion that he has come to interpret as to end turn. He places another card next to hers, a 9, before doing the same for himself - a 6. 

Atton watches as she brings her lower lip between her teeth and contemplates for a moment. He’s seen the gesture before, and he can’t help how endearing it is to him. Then, all too soon, she releases her lip and nods to him once again. End turn. 

He gives her another card, another 5, and does it once more for his hand. He tallies up his score now, a 24, before placing a -4 card from his side deck to end the round in his victory. 

She scrunches her nose at the sight. “I’m just warming up,” she says.

He smirks at the familiar excuse. “Of course, as you always do.” 

The Jedi gazes across at her opponent, meeting his stare after her first card has been dealt - an 8 - and mirrors his crooked smile. “There are three rounds to win for a reason, are there not?” 

“Sure, but not for that one.” 

- 

Atton leans against one of the walls, one leg outstretched and other bent at the knee, as he stares intently at the cards in front of him. The only card in his side deck is a -1, and he doesn’t like his odds. 

The Jedi has changed her position now, too, and rests on her belly to give herself a closer eyeline to the floor where the game is taking place. Her legs are stretched behind her, bent at the knees and crossed at the ankles. She adjusted there two games ago, and it’s given her the last two victories. Now, on the final round of the 5th game, the entire victory hinges on this last play. 

Her score is a 17, while his is an 18. He knows she hasn’t played all of her side deck this entire game, and while his number is good, it’s impossible to know what she could play next. 

She ends her turn, and gets an additional 2 card for it. Atton stares at his cards. If he doesn’t play, it’s an automatic loss. If he tries for another card, his chances of getting the right number to beat her are very slim. Still, slim chances are better than a definite loss. 

He gets another card, a 4. He winces as the card is placed - even with his -1, he’s still 1 point over. The Jedi has won that game, and therefore the majority of the games that night.

The grin on her face says enough. 

“I do believe that makes me the winner, doesn’t it?” 

“Of tonight. Don’t let that get to your head.” 

“I would never. It was merely an observation.”

Atton snorts at that as he packs up the deck. 5 games was a lot for them, and while he’s sure it distracted her enough from her thoughts, he isn’t sure it made her any more tired and willing to attempt to sleep again. 

“You should really get some sleep,” he says finally, after the cards had been packed away. The Jedi had gotten up from her spot on the floor, and sat against the opposite wall of the cockpit. He doesn’t have to add that  in a few hours, they’ll be docked on the next planet and will have to face unknown dangers that she’ll be leading them through. Her rest is more important than even his own.

Her fingers played with the fabric of her sleepwear, an antic Atton can only assume is one out of nerves. At that moment, he suddenly does wish he knew what was going on inside her mind, if only to ease her worries away. 

“I will,” she says after a long moment of silence. She gets up, and Atton follows suit. She is almost out of the entryway when she pauses and looks back at him. “You never told me why you were awake.”

Atton pauses; he knows the answer just as much as he knows the back of his hand. Ever since he had joined her cause, and became her pilot, the thoughts inside his mind never stopped racing. Whenever the crew broke off, and went to their respective dorms, Atton could never fall asleep as easily as the others. He had plenty of past troubles to keep him awake, and yet, his mind was always clouded with thoughts of the Jedi; he both dwindled on past encounters and envisioned future ones. But, with Bao-Dur snoring softly across from him every time, it was impossible to do his visions justice, and he always came to the cockpit to find solace.

He wouldn’t tell her that, of course. Not when, every time he ruminates on their conversations, he becomes less and less sure if she reciprocates his feelings. Instead, he thinks back to an hour earlier, and offers her an easy smile. 

“I guess I wanted to see the stars, too.”