#also sorry op for subjecting you to my essay-length rants i can't help myself haha your post was very good in and of itself!!

[gendercriticalthinking]

This is an excellent point! The entire reason language exists is so that people can convey an idea to others in a way that they all understand what that idea is in the same way, or at least so that they understand what idea the speaker is thinking of. That stops working when one person decides "I think X word should mean Y thing that I want it to mean, which is completely different from what the vast majority of people think it means, and I shouldn't have to explain or clarify myself to anyone."

Even if individuals' definitions of words and their validity were all equal, if that is something you truly believe, it is quite interesting how that belief and your composure completely falls apart once someone decides their personal definition of the word "woman" excludes male people. What, that's not allowed, to say "woman" means "adult female human"? I thought all interpretations of language were valid and up to the individual? That definition conveys my and many others' lived experiences, why are our individual beliefs about this word less valid than yours?

If your answer is that our beliefs are bigoted, then you need to amend your own beliefs, because you said nothing about there being any rules as to who is and isn't allowed to personalize words. And if your response to that is "Well, you're allowed to think that, but it's bigoted and I'm equally allowed to think it's wrong and call it out," it's pretty interesting how that only applies to you. Every time I see someone state the "bigoted" definition (or say something that indicates they believe it) they are called out for it by many people, to the point it is now a discussion whether we're even allowed to think that (but I thought we were allowed!), that it's now a dogwhistle that tells you "this person is a bad person." Yet if someone who believes "woman" means "adult female human" were to respond to someone who believes "woman" means "anyone who identifies as a woman" by telling them "I disagree with your definition," do you think the first person's response would be to say back, completely un-ironically, "That's totally fine! I disagree with you, but go ahead and keep on thinking that women are adult human females! You're not a bad person for thinking that, you're allowed to! :)"?

Do you think their response should be that? If not, what do you believe is the correct response? Is it the same one you'd say is correct for someone to say, that they're "allowed" to say back, when that someone is told she or he can't define "woman" as "adult female human"? Why? Do you really believe that definition is "allowable" when you firmly label it as a dogwhistle?

Also, look at how widespread your definition is in comparison. If everyone's definitions are all equally valid, why do you not care that there's such an overwhelming consensus on this particular word's definition? What about all the other valid definitions that aren't talked about nearly as often right now? So many people from so many cultures for so many centuries defined "woman" as "adult female human" even if it's """wrong,""" so why do tons of dictionaries and medical texts and laws and PSA's and discussions today only use your definition and not even mention the other? Not even as a footnote saying it used to be the definition but now it's archaic, or that it still means that but only in other cultures? What about the importance of diversity? Why must one definition (that just so happens to luckily be yours, what a coincidence!) be not just the only correct one, but also what that word has always meant for everyone everywhere? I thought all individuals, even those from the past, were allowed to decide for themselves!

Is your answer that every single person who ever believed "woman" means "adult female human" is at best misinformed and at worst a bigot, but either way should never continue saying that? Well how convenient for you that you get to label everyone with a different opinion than you on the definition of this word as people you shouldn't have to listen to. That makes discussions real easy for you, when everyone worth listening to is "allowed" to, by some cosmic coincidence, all individually arrive at the same definition that you just so happened to decide is the only right one. Everyone's different ideas on what words mean are all equally valid after all!

When you only talk to people who think exactly the same way as you, and say those who disagree should never be given a voice, having a discussion with others becomes no different than talking to yourself alone in a room.

"value & validity are determined by the individual" can you imagine believing that each individual's interpretation of language is equally valid and correct...as if language isn't one of the most collective things in the world. it would be literally pointless to value everyone's individual contributions equally, because meaning then unravels. just talk to yourself in a room if that's truly how it is.