#also sometimes some part of me goes through LAYERS of transphobia and sexism and thinks i could never be ''man enough''
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sometimes, just for a moment, an old habit kicks in and i think i'd be easier to love if i wasn't trans, but, to whom would i be easier to love?
#like genuinely. ok boohoo i would have a loving mom if i wasnt trans but also why do i want the love of someone who isnt willing to give it#also sometimes some part of me goes through LAYERS of transphobia and sexism and thinks i could never be ''man enough''#to date women. whichm that so fucking dumb it's funny#first of all im not going to unpack that. 2nd. i'm 5'8 and an effeminate bisexual with birthing hips inherited from my father#no amount of being a cis guy could make me masc#but my main point being. why would i want the love of these hypothetical people of theyre only willing to give it under the condition#of cisness. like? hello???#leevi talks#im in a weird mood today so you guys have to bear with me and my posts#also i have to admit. what made that thought come into my head was me being sad that there probably aren't many#women who'd want to peg me. bc i feel like the amount would be higher if i was cis#but that's still silly#but yea its weird getting a momentarily thought riddled with so much internalized transphobia and sexism etc. it makes you pause#and re evaluate everything about how you were raised bc i know thats not me but a part of me did believe something like that oncr
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