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aboutcaseyaffleck · 4 years ago

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Actor Casey Affleck Reflects On The Past And 'The World To Come'

The last time I saw Casey Affleck was after an 8:30 a.m. Sundance Film Festival screening of “Manchester by the Sea,” which left my colleagues and I so emotionally drained we were pretty much useless for the rest of the day. Affleck finds this very funny. “Oh man, that’s awesome,” he laughs. “That was a tough screening. At Sundance I’m usually just going to sleep at 8 a.m.” We’re talking on the phone a few days after the festival’s virtual premiere of his latest movie, “The World to Come,” which made its Sundance debut last month under very different circumstances. “It’s so strange doing these things sitting in front of your computer,” he sighs.

Directed by Mona Fastvold, “The World to Come” is a powerful period piece about a forbidden love affair between pioneer women played by Katherine Waterston and Vanessa Kirby, set in upstate New York during the early months of 1856. Affleck produced the picture, in which he plays a supporting role as Waterston’s uncomprehending husband, and he did his best to soldier through a crowded Zoom Q&A after the Sundance screening, with results pleasant enough, but nonetheless missing that in-person festival magic. “I used to love going to film festivals and talking to journalists and seeing all the movies and talking to other filmmakers,” he laments. “Sitting here alone in a little office in my house is such a drag. But it was nice to know that the movie was getting seen, at least.”

While big brother Ben plays Batman in studio pictures, Casey has exhibited a restless independent streak ever since he was a student at Cambridge Rindge and Latin School. (Our ninth-grade classes competed against each other in the Mass. High School Drama Guild Competition. His won, perhaps unsurprisingly.) A longtime friend of the Brattle Theatre and former creative advisor for the Independent Film Festival Boston, the younger Affleck has always seemed more at home in indies. Not a lot of actors would follow an Oscar-winning role in “Manchester by the Sea” with a microbudget art film like “A Ghost Story.” But then his internalized, minimalist acting style is often at odds with the concerns of contemporary blockbusters. There’s a weird dissonance watching something like Disney’s hokey Chatham sea adventure “The Finest Hours,” with Affleck going full Montgomery Clift while surrounded by CGI silliness.

“The World to Come” is the most ambitious project yet from Affleck’s Sea Change Media, which partnered with Pamela Koffler and Christine Vachon’s legendary NYC indie institution Killer Films for the arduous production that began with a conversation between Affleck and novelist Ron Hansen nearly a decade ago. “When I did ‘The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford’ I got to know Ron Hansen, just because I loved the book so much. Ron has a very unique talent for writing 19th century language. He’s just from another era. I asked him if he had something he wanted to work on together, and I thought he would send me one of his things. Instead, he sent me this story by Jim Shepard. It was beautiful. I said, why don’t you and Jim write the script? And they took about six years, but it came together beautifully. Good things come to those who wait, I guess.”

The film eventually shot in Romania with a break built into the schedule to accommodate the changing seasons that are so crucial to the movie’s rugged, outdoor textures. “We were way out in Transylvania, out in the mountains,” Affleck explains. “We were just in some valley and they built a couple of farmhouses. I like being far away in a new place. It makes you feel outside of your life. And I love working in weather. There are so many aspects of moviemaking that are artificial, but when there’s extreme weather, it’s real. I did this Disney movie about a boat rescue, and it was, like, December in friggin’ Quincy and they were just soaking us with water every single take. There’s not a lot that you have to quote-unquote act. You’re just standing there, teeth-chattering, shivering, just being.” This reminds me of the scene in “Manchester” when he and Lucas Hedges have an argument walking in the blistering cold and can’t remember where they parked. “I forgot about that one,” he laughs.

I’d never say so on the phone, but I consider Affleck’s performance as Lee Chandler in “Manchester by the Sea” among the finest I’ve seen in my 22 years of reviewing films, worthy of discussion alongside Brando’s Terry Malloy in “On the Waterfront” in its aching, inchoate longing. Lee holds his grief somewhere very private and dear, as if to begin to forgive himself would be an act of betrayal. The movie nails a gruff, emotional constipation popular among men of a certain stripe, especially in New England. (My mother offered my favorite review of the film: “Why don’t they just talk to each other? Jesus, this is like watching you and your father.”) Words don’t come easily to most of Affleck’s movie characters, but he chafes at the description of them as inarticulate. “It’s funny, I find the characters in ‘Manchester’ to be sometimes very articulate,” he argues. “There’s misunderstandings, but they end up communicating what’s inside.”

“The World to Come” is rife with such mixed signals and miscommunications, about which co-star Katherine Waterston raved during the Zoom Q&A after the Sundance screening. “It was so much fun to play the scenes with Casey,” she said. “A lot of these scenes are written as dances, where somebody tries to reach out and engage and they’re misunderstood. Inarticulacy is a very interesting thing to see in film. The failed attempts. Failed communications. It’s actually fun to play those things. You don’t know what the other person’s going to throw at you. It keeps it really alive on set. Mona and I felt if we had the money we could have kept shooting this thing for months, because the scenes were so much fun to explore.”

Affleck agrees. “When Katherine’s character writes in her journal or she starts talking to Vanessa, they have this beautiful, expressive way of speaking to each other,” he enthuses, whereas his character “says what he’s gotta say in as few words as possible. He’s very brusque and curt, which I enjoyed. The way that he talks is the communication equivalent when he gives her a birthday gift of sardines and a tin of raisins.”

Indeed, her increasingly florid diary entries — originally intended as a ledger to keep track of the farm’s monthly expenses — become the heartbeat of the film, providing an emotional release otherwise suppressed by the rigid formality of the era and the ugly drudgery of day-to-day farm life. “The World to Come” is ultimately a movie about the need to share our stories, and how through telling them we make sense of ourselves. As producer Koffler explains in the press notes, “Part of the film’s vision is to dramatize a very basic human impulse: to create, to connect, to say ‘I was here, and I mattered.’”

This has become a recurring theme in Affleck’s recent work. In 2019, he wrote, directed and starred in “Light of My Life,” a little-seen but strikingly tense post-apocalyptic road movie about a father and daughter hiding out in the wilderness after a pandemic has wiped out most of the women in the world. The film begins with Affleck telling the little girl a bedtime story that runs almost 13 minutes and sneakily sets up the movie’s major themes. Then in last month’s well-acted but regrettably soggy “Our Friend,” he starred as real-life journalist Matthew Teague, whose soul-baring Esquire story about his wife’s struggle with cancer became a national phenomenon.

“Matt Teague wrote that article and then wanted it made into a movie as his way of processing everything that had happened,” the actor elaborates. “You transform pain into other things as you go through life. That was all him working through it. I like stories about storytellers and I like stories within stories. Obviously, I wrote and directed a movie that starts with a 12-minute bedtime story. I love that. I know that other people don’t love it as much as I do, so I have to be careful about it.”

That kind of love led to last summer’s “Stories From Tomorrow,” a project initiated during lockdown by Affleck and his schoolteacher mom Christine, encouraging children to send in poems and short stories to be read on social media by celebrities like Matt Damon and Jon Hamm, as well as his “The World to Come” co-stars Waterston and Kirby. “That was something I started out at the very beginning of the quarantine as a small project to encourage kids to write creatively, because I know it can be a great way of processing anxiety and working through feelings that you aren’t really talking about or aren’t aware that you’re having. It wasn’t something I thought would go on forever; once the kids are back in school that ought to be where they should be doing all that kind of work. But while they were sitting at home, I thought it would be a good way to get their attention off the awful news and into something more imaginative. And I also got a chance to read all these super-cool stories! Really creative stuff that kids sent from all around the world.”

Finally, as a Boston publication it would be dereliction of duty not to mention the hysterical Dunkin Donuts commercial parody from when Affleck hosted “Saturday Night Live” in 2016, so dead-on in its depiction of a local 'regulah customah' that on one of my critics’ poll ballots that year I tried to nominate the sketch for Best Documentary. Alas, the performer shoots down a pet theory I’ve been hanging onto ever since, that the dirtbag Boston guy in the Bruins hat is secretly a grown-up version of Affleck’s scene stealing, bug-swallowing Morgan from “Good Will Hunting.”

“I hadn’t thought about that, dude. That’s really funny. It never crossed my mind." He pauses before confiding, "I wasn’t that great on SNL… I just wasn’t all that funny on the skits, because it’s live and you’re reading the cue cards and it was my first time. But when we went to make that little pre-recorded short film of the Dunkin’ Donuts ad, I really felt like that was my wheelhouse there. I could’ve played that character in a movie. I could have gone to work and played him every single day, and I would have had a blast. That was really fun to do. I would love to do another one of those. That would be funny to see that character again.”

I bet that guy’s got some stories.

“The World To Come” is now in theaters and will be available via video on demand Tuesday, March 2.

[source]

#casey affleck #the world to come #quote #photo #movies

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hollenka99 · 5 years ago

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The One Where Jackie Settles In

Summary: Chapter 3. Jackie gets used to life with Marvin.

Warnings: death mention, violence mention

@bupine @badlypostedeverything

In the minute it takes for Jackie's mind to wake up along with him, he becomes confused as to why his chest is in agony. More confusing than that, he appeared to be in the bedroom of someone's home. In a pile on a bean bag was a pre-arranged outfit for him to wear. Dressed, he ventures to the hallway. And things finally click. Right, he was living with Marvin now. Marvin, who happened to also be Cat. The past 24 hours had been quite eventful. He'd… rather forget it. He requests anything Marvin had on hand. If he was a superhero, surely he was no stranger to injury. Therefore, there must be something lying around to assist with pain management. To his relief, Marvin can indeed help him. In fact, he goes further and offers him whatever is required for his recovery. With the medical care over, Marvin invites his new roommate to help himself to mini Weetabix or bread. Jackie doesn't think he can manage more than a simple buttered slice of toast this morning. The Russian blue missing her front left leg observes them from her shelf. Marvin notices where Jackie's gaze is directed. "Indie's watching us eat, isn't she?" "Yep." Jackie chuckles. "Come face us, you little spy." Marvin turns around in his seat, wearing a mock scowl. "Caoimhe was like that. I couldn't eat anything at home without her staring at me until I gave her a bit of my dinner." Marvin is facing the table again. "Caoimhe?" "Oh um... she was my dog before- before all this." "Is she with friends or something?" "I guess. Them or my dad. It all happened so quickly." Suddenly, stories relating to pets fill the space between toast and soggy cereal. Jackie learns of the time Indie somehow found herself stuck in the space between the television and the wall. Likewise, he tells his friend all about Caoimhe's misadventures as a puppy, including her habit of attempting to snack on his drumsticks. This in turn leads to Jackie confirming that yes, he was a drummer and guitar wasn't his preferred instrument. The two of them chat at the table until Marvin realises in a shock that it was already time for him to get ready for work. Running late slightly, he blurts out his apologises and suggests Jackie finds a DVD to watch while he's alone. Despite how abruptly it had ended, the morning had been an enjoyable one. Joel checks up on them a couple days after the incident with Anti. He raises the issue of Jackie not having any clothes of his own. The Canadian offers to accompany him around the shops, making the point it would be a proper chance to get to know each other. With the promise expenses shouldn't influence decisions, they leave. They manage to collect a variety of tops and jeans. Apparently ripped jeans were fashionable now. Fashion had certainly changed in the past three decades. He and Joel are still able to find items that were close enough to what he used to know. The shops they visit are lacking in leather jackets but Joel is able to offer a black denim one as a compromise. With socks and underwear also in their possession, it was time to move on from clothes shopping. Almost. Doing so as discreetly as he can, Joel mutters quietly to Jackie. "I can see you eyeing the women's section. Why don't you have a look?" "No, it's weird. Trust me, men were not made to wear feminine clothing." "Listen, I have two dads and a diminished sense of gendered clothing. I am the last person who will give a damn about a guy wearing a dress. You have a similar build to my dad so..." Joel approaches the racks, flicking through them. Periodically, he scrutinises Jackie to likely determine if the dress was right for him. The most Jackie lets his new friend buy for him is a skirt that reached his knees. It seems to please him that Jackie allowed him to get even that. He supposes it was a nice garment. And a kind gesture too. With the clothes stuffed into the back seat of Joel's car, the duo return to explore the Tesco Metro. The older of the two triggers a whole conversation about Easter celebrations. Joel talks about the Beaches Easter parade in Toronto while Jackie grumbles about Easter Sunday masses. They both agree there's no such thing as too many Easter eggs. "Hey, you should get a notebook or something. It might help if you have somewhere to put your thoughts about the 21st century." "What, you want me to write you an essay about modern life when I've known nothing else? I'm 20, I was born in... 1999." "It's April so if you want to turn 21 this year, it's 1998." "Wh- 'if I want to turn 21 this year'? Can I please get through the rest of this month without having my life being threatened?" Joel groans. "No, dumbass, it was advice." He leans close to Jackie's ear. "I know about Village Square and how you were born in 1966. I'm sure you want to talk about this further but I don't have anywhere I can really take you to speak privately." "You're psychic?" "No." Joel places his bags down, resigning himself to tackle this subject while standing outside a WHSmiths. "Sure, I can create portals but I'm no mind reader." "Then how-?" "I already told you, this is not a conversation we should have in public." "What about your apartment? You don't live with Marvin and you told me you weren't living on the streets anymore." "In Canada. And I doubt it would be healthy to send you somewhere over 3500 miles away when you sustained a major injury a few days ago. Listen, how about you text- A phone, we need to get you a phone too." "Right." Mobile phones are unrecognisable. How the hell did technology advance to the point where this small slab of glass and alloy was capable of receiving calls? Not to mention the plethora of things it also offered. And controlled by your fingers on top of it all off. Joel reassures him he can take it slow with this technological leap. The main reason he bought it was for communication and it could remain so if he wanted. Jackie supposes the shiny blue back was pretty. It wasn't hard, growing accustomed to life with Marvin. His roommate would sleep in after a long night of patrolling then spend most afternoons working a shift at the local garden centre. In addition to that, Marvin would also don his Magnificent Cat costume twice a week so he could help those still on the streets. Jackie usually sat those out, feeling awkward about his new situation. Marvin was typically the one to cook. As such, Jackie felt it necessary the head of the kitchen should be aware he couldn't have mustard. If the hero could try getting into the habit of checking ingredients and being wary of anything labelled 'spices', he'd be much obliged. Marvin does his best to follow these instructions. It seemed to be working fine as there was yet to be any allergic reactions. At some point during that second week, Marvin invited Jackie to the kitchen. His plan was to bake his favourite cake, one containing chocolate and strawberries. Their joint efforts go well for a short while. Then Jackie gave himself an edible moustache upon stealing the whipped cream from the fridge. Marvin confiscated the can, only to follow suite. By the time the cake was ready to exit the oven, the duo were laughing, in need of a whipped cream restock and a change of clothes. It is after returning from a shift that Marvin introduces Jackie to an unusual pizza crust arrangement. "Pizza Hut have the best stuffed crust though. This is only the best Morrisons has to offer, as far as I've tried it." Marvin continues on, rambling about how, while studying at university, he made it his goal to find the best frozen pizza supermarkets within walking distance of his accommodation had to offer. As such, he had designated this specific pizza as his favourite. Something about the other varieties being too liquidy or whatever. He has no interest in this subject. Pizza was pizza. But... Marvin seemed very engrossed in imparting his findings to him and who was Jackie to stop him? "Oh, tell you who would go with us to Pizza Hut, my friends Henrik and Jameson. Maybe Chase too but he tends to be a rather busy guy. You should meet them. I think you might get on with those guys." Marvin makes a note as a reminder to invite his friends for a meal out. For the time being, that is the end of that. Before long, the Easter weekend arrives and with it, a chance for Jackie to finally meet Sean. It was clear Marvin looked up to his big brother from the way he spoke about him. As far as Jackie was aware, Sean was 9 years older, a video game developer and a reluctant cook, hence why the two roommates were taking care of the big meal. He can certainly see the resemblance between the brothers. Their features were very similar. The main difference between them was hair. While Marvin was clean shaven with waves descending to his shoulders, Sean had stubble and short straight hair. It was pleasant to see them have such a good relationship, complete with teasing and half-serious threats of burning the other if he kept pushing it. Jackie found Sean likeable. The whole meal, they kept themselves occupied with chatter. He learns Sean enjoyed painting in his spare time. In fact, he was creating the backgrounds for his company's new game. It is at this point that Marvin lets him know there was still a blue smudge, albeit slightly faded, on the side of his left hand. The afternoon is a good one but like all things, it comes to an end. Before too long, they are bidding Sean farewell and exchanging comments about the day's success. Night, the stranger found, was the best cover. Some dark clothes to reduce visibility and a hood to better conceal his identity from CCTV cameras. With some silent fiddling, the door grants him entry. He knows precisely which room he has to visit first. His most recent escapee is completely oblivious to the intruder. He could ensure Jackie never woke up with a single touch. But Marvin would discover the truth were that to happen. That method was too obvious. Besides, this wasn't what he was here for. The envelope slips out of his bag. In the morning, Jackie will find the surprise on his bedside table. That done, he moves on to the other bedroom. The hero is still awake, albeit engrossed by his phone's screen. Only now does Anti allow his presence to be sensed. Marvin reacts accordingly by throwing the covers to the side and defensively leaping to his feet. A palm is raised to prevent any provocative action before it could be carried out. The message is delivered. "Back off, Marvin. You should know by now what I'm like when frustrated. Let the next one slide and you won't hear from me for a good while." He looks like a three year old persevering with their poorly thought out argument. He's certainly a 24 year old man in his pyjamas rather than an on duty superhero fully in costume. "I... I can't." "One life for several. Aren't you supposed to be on the better side of the morality spectrum? Surely this is a easy choice." Anti doesn't wait for any potential response from Marvin. The serial killer leaves the way he came. The sun rises and with it, Jackie. Marvin was already awake, cradling an abandoned coffee. He gives his friend little acknowledgement as he enters the kitchen. The piece of paper Jackie is holding, however, gains his attention. Especially when he asks the dreaded question. "Uh, Marv? Do you know anything about this?" It's only a portion of an A4 sheet. A pair of scissors has been used perhaps a third of the way down. The contents is limited to a single typed line which reads: We both know he's no doctor. Maybe you should ask why he hasn't taken you to be treated by professionals. Jackie starts talking as soon as he's sure Marvin has read the message. "I- Listen, I will admit I had wondered why you never sent me to a hospital. But I guess I brushed it off as a secret identity thing. So why didn't-?" "You're new to this city, right?" "Yes." "So you don't know Anti like I do. He likes making a point of finishing what he started. I don't know how the hell he does it. But if he's the one who put you in hospital, the only place you're going after that is the morgue. So forgive me for wanting you still around. And yeah, it's true, I am not a doctor. However, books on human biology and the internet have served me fine. I've had way more injuries than Sean is aware of. Yet here I am, walking around despite the occupational hazards my hobby is littered with." "Marvin-" "If you want me to apologise for prioritising you staying alive, then I'm afraid you're out of luck." The aggression radiating from him remains for several seconds. It dissipates into something softer. "But I am sorry for putting the decision solely in my hands. If that means anything." Jackie lets the air settle between them before answering. "Alright. Listen, I am still upset-" "Fine, then I'll leave for a while." Marvin begins making his way to the shoe pile by the door. "What I was going to say was I'm still upset but I'd rather move on and let bygones be bygones for now. Just promise you won't do something that risky again." He stops completely to face Jackie. "Yes, of course. I promise." "Thank you. And, as a sidenote, if you're going to run from disagreements, at least fix that mess you call your hair. It's horrendous." The sleep deprived hero scoffs, a tiny smile creeping into existence. "Got it."

#jacksepticeye #jackieboy man #marvin the magnificent #my writing #jumbled au #writersofjack

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hencethebravery · 6 years ago

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The CC gods have spoken: ‟Alana, you will write at least one more AU for those beautiful, beautiful boys. And it will be about this dumb text post. Forever and ever, Amen.”

“Oh, P.S., make it punk. Thanks, bye.”

+ In the end, he’d chosen the place because to be quite bloody honest it was precisely where you might expect the writer of an obscure indie mag to live. It was an older building (a suitably generous designation), tucked in between the modernist monstrosities of the last 20 or 30 years. Replete with gorgeous, if not ill-kept, accoutrements framing the windows; crumbling steps and a brick exterior in varying shades of red and orange. The aesthetic was rounded out by the kind of neglectful landlord you might expect, a horrid man who frequently enjoyed reminding his tenants that he lived, “out of state,” and they’d have to, “be patient.”

Upon entering you might care to notice that the wallpaper on either side of the staircase seemed to be in a rather unattractive state of damp self-removal; pale, curling pieces that revealed older colors beneath. And then there was the staircase itself, with jade colored steps (in desperate need of a good shine) and an iron railing topped with ancient wood. In a word: resplendent. Inarguably a fine, if lonely, remnant of another age in a city that couldn’t help but move so brutally forward.

He complains about the place often enough, and if he really, really wanted to, he could probably afford to move, but as Jasmine so haughtily observed, why would he want to go and, quote, “ruin his brand like that?”

There was also the matter of the large, smiley handsome fellow that must have lived somewhere in the building, or with his luck, was dating someone in the building.

“Making brief, meaningless eye contact with some nameless man you happen to see in your building from time to time is no reason to freeze to death,” Jasmine had quite rightly reminded him, taking a drag of his cigarette. “You’re a well-respected, well-read journalist in Manhattan. Get a new apartment, Jones.”

Which, sure, she’s got a point, but there’s also the matter of the way the sun shines into his bedroom in the afternoons. The strange, sloping ceilings that he can’t seem to get a read on; the strong, mouth-watering smell of curry and cardamom that breathes through the vents and into his living room. The point is, it’s home, handsome man or no, so when he finally manages to exchange more than a nod with the “nameless man,” his vicious defense of the place only increases.

“The man was so drunk he couldn’t even tell you what apartment he lived in.”

“I’ll thank you to let me have my victories, love.”

It’s a little after 2 AM on a Tuesday in the middle of a particularly merciless February—it’s part of the reason why it’s so strange to see someone else awake, let alone such a broad, smile-prone man that seems to smell of woodsmoke and aftershave. He also appeared to be dead asleep as Killian had attempted the somewhat ill-begotten task of opening his door in subzero temperatures (a fool’s errand, to be sure).

“Buggering fu—” he had begun to mutter beneath his breath, keys jangling against one another between the cold, stiff fingers of his hand when he suddenly heard the gruff, slurred voice at his back.

“This ... fun,” he giggled, looking somewhere over Killian’s shoulder for a moment before finally landing on Killian himself.

“Sorry?”

“This is fun!” he answered, his voice suddenly an octave or two higher, though still sounding as if he had smoked one two many cigarettes that evening.

Having decided that amusing the handsome, fucked up man would be more fun than struggling with his door for another 20 minutes, he decided to engage, clearing this throat before finally replying, “What would that be?”

“Bein’ locked out together,” he managed to say, curling his arms a bit tighter around his torso, “we should hangout more.”

Too accustomed to dealing with the drunken individual that has chosen to use their drunkenness as an excuse to be a miserable bastard, the remark itself is unexpectedly charming, and Killian had to wonder how a man with such a face, hair, and arms, could possibly also be quite so friendly at less than 100% brain capacity.

“Yes, well,” Killian finally managed, “I’m quite... busy...?”

“Nice one.”

“I thought it was charming,” David insists, tugging him closer.

“That’s sweet, but I very much doubt you even remember that part of our conversation.”

“Jus’ give it a kick,” he continued, as if Killian hadn’t spoken, “usually works with mine.”

While Killian had developed somewhat of a reputation for, uh... “impassioned manifestations of physicality,” per the press release from his editor, it had been a day and a half since he’d been the kind of person to kick in a door, whether that be in anger or for practical purposes, and he hesitated for a brief moment before considering his far shorter, slimmer, and somewhat homeless look before taking a step back and slamming his combat-booted foot into the blasted thing.

It was to his immediate displeasure to discover that the door remained firmly shut; that his foot ached, and that he had just made a very loud, horrifying noise at 2 in the morning in a building made of walls as thin as tissue paper.

“Shit,” he mumbled, rotating his ankle briefly before turning to face a rather gob-smacked, slightly more sober man.

“That, was, uh—wow.”

“I just didn’t understand how so much power could exist in such a small man.”

“Excuse me—” Killian blushing and protesting over Jasmine’s inelegant snorting, “I am perfectly—”

“Yes, yes, we know, dear.”

Which was precisely when Robin from the down hall had poked his head out his door, hair askew and looking undeniably inconvenienced, “What in the hell are you two idiots doing out here so bloody early?”

“This guy’s got a strong kick,” handsome, drunk stairwell man had answered, attempting to point and failing, “...and I lost my keys at the bar.”

Robin had rolled his eyes before disappearing into his apartment and re-emerging a few moments later with a few pins, muttering and swearing the entire time, tip-toeing across the cold floor in an attempt to spare himself the discomfort.

“Thanks, mate,” Killian whispered as he watched his friend work, “I’ll talk to Gold about the lock soon.”

“It’s fine,” Robin answered, “it’s not as if the man will ever do anything about it.”

He glanced over his shoulder briefly before shooting a look at Killian and remarking quietly, “I see you two have finally met.”

“Not really,” Killian shrugged, scratching at the tip of his reddened ear, “I—”

“David,” Robin exclaimed, a bit more loudly than warranted, turning round to watch David’s eyes pop open, “this is Killian. Killian, David. Now, up you get Dave.”

Killian offered a weak wave, watching, with an unexpected feeling of melancholy, as Robin pulled David to his feet and walked him up the stairs.

“Nice to meet you, Killian,” he heard David shout down the steps, “good moves!”

They began to run into one another far more frequently after that, and not just in their building, but at the bodega down the street, or the coffee shop around the corner.

“Funny seeing you here,” David would laugh, plopping down across from him, drink or danish in hand.

“We live in the same apartment building,” Killian would answer, only sparing a brief glance upwards from his laptop, as both men tried and failed to hide their grins.

Killian had later learned that David had been immeasurably embarrassed by his conduct in the stairwell, and that, despite appearances, “never gets that drunk,” only he had finally completed his degree in veterinary science and had often been told he needed to “loosen up.”

“It’s really alright, mate,” Killian had reassured him, surprised at the surge of desperation that occurred in rushing to insist that he had done nothing wrong and that, honestly, it was quite amusing.

“Still, I’m sorry if I made you uncomfortable,” he had said in a moment of almost painful earnestness, “I never wanna be one of those people.”

“You weren’t,” Killian answered quickly, the tip of his boot only barely brushing David’s sneaker beneath the table, “trust me. I’ve dealt with worse.”

“My little anarchist.”

“You both think you’re so bloody funny.”

“Yes,” the two of them answering simultaneously, dissolving into laughter at the sight of the “stern” look on Killian’s face.

“So, what is it that you actually write?”

They had been friends for a few months before David had finally started asking Killian about his work in greater detail, and looking back, Killian would recall feeling a bit anxious at David’s apparent lack of interest in his career.

“My mother was a writer,” he explained, “ she was a bit shy about it. I didn’t know if it was something you really wanted me to ask.”

Which was when all of Killian’s anxiety had vanished in a flood of appreciation. And really, why were the man’s eyes so blue?

Killian had started writing for OH, FURY when he had first moved to the city in his early 20s—it had barely had a readership then, which was probably why they had agreed to pay him for his self-righteous drivel. First per submission, and then, eventually, as a full-time staff writer who happened to be good at being incendiary and wicked on Twitter.

“I do articles about the punk scene mostly,” Killian started, “which inevitably leads to the occasional social commentary.”

Solo female artists covered in tattoos, screaming until their voices have grown hoarse; bands made entirely of LGBTQ+ musicians—grass roots organizers, local politicians, really, the possibilities were somewhat endless. He loved it.

“And here I was thinking that music and politics were two different things,” Dave had responded somewhat sheepishly.

“Oh, Dave,” Killian had grinned, his gaze falling to the flannel-armored, rosy-cheeked man before him, “I have so much to show you.”

They had kissed for the first time in the middle of an amped, sweaty crowd; beneath dim lights and with the feeling of a bass guitar pounding rhythmically in their chests.

“Alright, stop,” Jasmine interrupts, her eyes suspiciously bright.

“Jasmine, love, are you... crying?” Killian asked incredulously, a chuckle on the tip of his tongue.

“Of course not,” she answered, sniffling, “I just want to make sure I have all the details right for my speech.”

And so it was, much in the same way the city around them seemed to move at such a damnably fast pace, so too did the two of them, having been halfway to love before the band had struck their first chord.

“I’m gonna miss this beautiful garbage dump,” David remarked, the both of them standing hand-in-hand on the sidewalk on a cold night that felt, somehow, familiar.

“Quite right,” Killian agreed, turning to admire David’s profile in the light of the lamp above their heads, “without providing such poor quality of life, we never would have met.”

“I don’t know about that. I was working up the nerve.”

“Sure you were, love,” Killian laughed, tugging on his soon-to-be husband’s hand. “Let’s go home.”

#ouat ff #cc ff #cc fanfic #captain charming #cc: saved my life #@hencethewriter #holy shit.#i did it.

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amandajoyce118 · 6 years ago

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The Punisher Season 2 Easter Eggs And References

Yes, I know. You don’t have to tell me that the second season of The Punisher dropped on Netflix a month ago. Surprisingly, this last month has been extremely busy for me. Birthdays, family stuff, changes in management at my day job, changes in editors (thrice!) at my freelance job, plus prepping my tax stuff has left me with very little free time. I finally managed to finish the second season this weekend (and I started Umbrella Academy, which is really interesting, but something I’m not familiar with, so no Easter Eggs on that one, sorry!) and finish writing up Easter eggs as well.

As usual, there are spoilers, but I went episode by episode with the Easter eggs. Anybody worried about spoilers has probably already watched the show at this point. I feel like I was probably the last one out there who hadn’t watched. Despite it taking me forever and a day to watch the show, there’s still a chance I didn’t catch everything, especially since the Punisher doesn’t seem like a show with a lot of in-universe Easter eggs.

Happy reading!

S2E01 “Roadhouse Blues”

The Van

Oh, look. Pete AKA Frank is using a van full time. In the comics, the van houses a wide variety of weapons and surveillance equipment, but Frank isn’t quite that high tech without the help of someone like Micro around. He also calls it the Battle Van.

Lola’s Roadhouse

It’s probably just a coincidence, because Lola is just one of those names that pop culture junkies seem to love, but… who else thinks it might be a nod to Coulson’s favorite car in Agents of SHIELD?

Fiona

Some people will try to find the Marvel character that is “Fiona,” but again, I think this one is a coincidence. Why? Fiona is a weirdly popular name in comics. There’s a Fiona who is an Inhuman who can fly. There’s a Fiona who founds the sisterhood and hates men. There are also Fionas who are artists/writers/pencilers/etc in real life. I think this is just a case of them picking a pretty name.

Michigan

It’s the last place anyone would look, you say? Kind of like how it’s the last place anyone seems to care about because Flint still doesn’t have clean water? Yep.

S2E02 “Fight Or Flight”

Pete and Rachel

I like that Frank is still using the name Pete, but can we all laugh for a second about how these two are Pete and Rachel? It makes me laugh because these are two characters in friends. Pete only asks Monica out because he overhears Monica and Rachel talking about their love lives (or lack of them). Pete, funnily enough is like a Tony Stark character here: wealthy, throwing money around to get what he wants, buying women buildings, etc. He’s also played by Jon Favreau AKA Happy Hogan in the Iron Man movies. It’s one of those things that’s not meant to be a connection, but proves you can find “Easter eggs” in anything.

Rachel AKA Amy

Amy is based on a comic book character, but she’s been completely changed for the show. In the comics, she was a little girl who saw Frank escape a crime scene and promised him she wouldn’t tell anyone. He helped her out a few times as well. But, like I said, completely different. (Of course, the use of the name Rachel, and some of her later story gives a nod to another comic book character as well. We’ll talk about that later.)

Larkville, Ohio

Clearly based on Clarkville, Ohio. They thought leaving off one letter would make it less obvious? Anyway, here are some fun facts about Ohio in the MCU. It’s where there was a secret wing of a prison for powered people (thanks, Agents of SHIELD). It’s also where Coulson and company went to get information about CENTIPEDE (again, thanks Agents of SHIELD). Lincoln Campbell tried to escape Inhuman life as a doctor there (again, Agents of SHIELD). It’s also where Bucky sarcastically remarked Steve Rogers was from for one of his many fake ID’s to get in the army (Captain America: The First Avenger). And, it’s also where Helmut Zemo tracked down a super soldier in hiding (Captain America: Civil War). So, what I’m saying is, if you’re interested in lying low in the MCU, you don’t go to Ohio. Someone will find you.

Billy’s Memory

Billy Russo’s memory being jumbled, or having gaps, provides a nice storytelling device, but it’s also a nice nod to the comics. His memory was manipulated, or he was brainwashed, a few times. The only thing that restored his memory those times? Fighting the Punisher, of course.

A Jigsaw Puzzle

Lots of puzzle references to Billy, and with good reason. In the comics, he’s Jigsaw. The guy gets thrown through a plate glass window and his face is put back together like a jigsaw by a surgeon. He takes on the name and vows revenge.

Billy’s Mask

His mask is more than just to build suspense by covering up his face. You’ll see there are red and blue colors on the sides? It’s meant to be a nod to an art therapy practice that’s become helpful in treating soldiers with PTSD as a result of their work. Soldiers are instructed to create a mask to show people what they’re feeling on the inside, even if they can’t say it. National Geographic did a whole piece on how the work has been helping people. I wrote about it in my Jigsaw list, briefly.

S2E03 “Trouble The Water”

129

The door number that is clearly visible when Billy breaks out of the hospital with his therapist’s help is 129. To be fair, most house numbers, door numbers, and phone numbers are completely random. This one might be a coincidence. But… Amazing Spider-Man issue 129 was the very first appearance of the Punisher. Jigsaw AKA Billy Russo appeared over 30 issues later in the same series. It seems purposeful.

Mahoney

Look at Mahoney, making the rounds still. He started as a character on Daredevil and has worked his way through the Netflix shows.

The Pilgrim

That’s the name given in press releases to the religious villain who has some, uh, questionable tattoos removed once upon a time. He’s not a specific comic book character, but a lot of people have compared him to the Mennonite from the old Punisher comics.

S2E04 “Scar Tissue”

WHiH

The world news station of choice in the MCU, this one gets more attention in the movies. It’s covering news from every corner of the globe. Recently, it’s made its way into the Netflix shows, Agents of SHIELD, and Runaways as well.

WJBP TV

Another station in the MCU, this one is local. It’s typically only seen in the Netflix corner of the universe, so it’s usually covering New York news.

The Kitten Hanging On The Branch

I’m sorry, but did anyone not see one of these posters if they grew up in the United States? Nice nod to the inspirational poster schtick the public school system has. I think I saw it in guidance counselor offices at every school I went to.

New York Bulletin

Yes, the Bulletin is still going strong despite losing a lot of its staff in the second season of Daredevil.

Amy AKA Rachel

Okay, so despite looking like a nod to the little kid who keeps Frank’s secret in the comics, this character also appears to be a nod to Rachel Cole. She ended up in the middle of a gang war and became a vigilante, falling in with Frank.

Baseball

So, Billy had a thing for baseball? You know who else had a thing for baseball? Dex AKA Bullseye in Daredevil season two. Nice job keeping your sociopaths on theme, Netflix MCU.

S2E05 “One-Eyed Jacks”

Three Card Monte

I have a hard time believing that Frank Castle, marine, killer, and all around street savvy dude, doesn’t understand how Three Card Monte works. Then again, maybe no one has tried to swindle him with cards because they value their life. Who knows? Anyway, I found this version interesting because most people who hustle with it want you to “find the lady” as the queen of hearts. Here, it’s the queen of diamonds. I’m not sure what that says, but it’s interesting. (Also, I feel like Amy AKA Rachel and Skye AKA Daisy would get along. It reminded me of the sugar packets and Mike’s ID in the Agents of SHIELD pilot).

Turk Barrett

At this point, if you don’t know who Turk is, I’m just going to assume you haven’t seen any of the Netflix shows before. In which case, why are you reading these Easter eggs? Go start watching from the beginning, and then come back.

Oh, sh1t!

I think it’s cute that for all her life as a hustler, she doesn’t use actual curse words, but instead, speaks the way teens might curse via text.

S2E06 “Nakazal”

“You could always burn the place down.”

I feel like this is a nod to how arson tends to be a last resort for Frank in the comics. He prefers to go in, guns blazing, and just take people out. There are a few stories where he’s torched whole buildings, but they usually are just a minor thing in a major story arc.

Anderson And Eliza Schultz

Not comic book characters, but they do share their surname with Herman Schultz AKA the Shocker. I think that’s probably not a big connection. Instead, it’s more likely that the writers liked the name, and as a bonus, it gives them a nod to comic creators Charles Schultz (Peanuts) and Mark Schultz (art for DC, but also really big in indie comics).

I’m not going to list all of the political commentary in this episode, but whew. They really went for it.

S2E07 “One Bad Day”

The Title

“All it takes is one bad day to reduce the sanest man to lunacy.” Or at least, that’s what the Joker believes in Batman’s The Killing Joke. It’s one of the biggest Batman stories ever, so I’m thinking the title is no coincidence. I also think a few staff members are Batman fans since the kid in the first episode also had a Batman backpack.

Fragmentation Grenade

An interesting choice for a weapon since in the comics, Jigsaw gets healed a few times, only to have his face ruined again by the Punisher. One of those times is the result of a fragmentation grenade.

S2E08 “My Brother’s Keeper”

The Fatal Shore By Robert Hughes

The book Amy reads when she’s bored in the trailer is actually about the founding of Australia. History teaches us it was a penal colony - the place where criminals were shipped to start over - but there were already Aboriginals there, which made for quite the conflict. Someone like Amy probably would have found the crime, the hustle of the whole thing, interesting, but she doesn’t strike me as someone who would be into history, so it’s no wonder she put it down.

“He did everything he could to you to make sure you suffered for the rest of your life.”

Yes. This is exactly why Frank leaves Billy alive in the comics. He kills everyone who had a hand in the deaths of his family - all but Billy, even though they weren’t as close as brothers in the comics. He leaves Billy alive so that the guy can suffer, but also to serve as a warning to anyone who comes after him. Billy spends a lot of his story arcs either trying to get revenge, or trying to get his “pretty boy” looks back.

S2E09 “Flustercluck”

Valhalla

Do we say this is a nod to the Thor franchise, or do we just accept that the world at large has the idea of Valhalla as paradise? Your call.

“I’m not the one that dies…”

I’ll confess Punisher is not my comic book cup of tea, but I feel like he said this line in a comic once. I could be wrong.

S2E10 “The Dark Hearts Of Men”

The Title

Pretty sure this is a nod to a Bible verse about humanity. But I’m not up on my Bible knowledge and a google search just gives me a bunch of reviews of this episode, so I’m sorry this isn’t more specific?

“Drunkards Prayer”

This is the song that plays when the Pilgrim is both fighting and recovering from his fight. It’s a song about wanting to be pious, but knowing you’re an addict. And it fits with his character pretty well. AJ McLean (of the Backstreet Boys) covered it once, if you’re interested. I think you could also apply it to just about any character in Castle’s world - people wanting to be better, but unable to leave the bad things in their life behind. And no, I won’t dissect every song choice for the season, but this one stuck with me.

Making Castle Believe The Worst

Making the Punisher believe he killed innocent people is straight out of the comics. It’s one trick a villain uses to bring him down, though ultimately, he figures out he wasn’t the one responsible. That looks like the same thing here with Castle believing he killed the women and the therapist’s “I know how to break Castle” thing.

S2E11 “The Abyss”

Queens

I find it interesting that the Punisher is frequenting Queens a lot in this season. (The warehouse where he gets arrested, as noted in the radio broadcast, is in Queens.) Why? Because he was introduced in a Spider-Man comic and frequently crossed paths with the web crawler. Where is Peter Parker from? Queens.

Karen Page

Karen’s appearance as Frank’s “lawyer” here muddles the timeline a bit. We’ve all been thinking this occurs after season three of Daredevil. That season ended with Matt and Foggy reforming Nelson and Murdock, but with making Karen a partner as well. Never mind that she doesn’t have a law degree or anything like that. But, Karen introduces herself as representing Nelson and Murdock. Maybe her name isn’t in the business because she’s not a lawyer? Or maybe this is actually set before that? Who knows? It’s all very ambiguous.

Sacred Saints Hospital

While this hospital didn’t appear in another episode, the Sacred Saints Cemetery did, and I wonder if they’re connected to one another? Sacred Saints is where Elektra was supposedly buried, which gives us a lot of Daredevil connections in this episode, huh?

Matt Murdock

Frank mentions the man himself while talking with Karen. I feel like this is more of a reminder that Frank knows Matt is Daredevil than it is a legit comment on the state of Matt and Karen’s relationship.

Karen’s Shoes

Not an Easter egg, but I like that the payment to the morgue tech/assistant medical examiner was her very expensive shoes, not something tropey like drinks with him. Thank you, writers. This was cute. Also, it gave Karen the means to run around the hotel easier and not be held back by her heels.

S2E12 “Collision Course”

Mr. Blue

The only thing I noticed in this episode was the nickname given to Billy by the florist. It’s actually the alias Betty Ross used in the comments when Bruce Banner was a fugitive and she tried to stay in contact with him. Probably not intentional, but you never know.

S2E13 “The Whirlwind”

“...pull your spine out of your throat…”

In the “Space” stories for the Punisher, he does something like this to Ultron, funnily enough. He reaches into Ultron’s mouth and pulls his core out, not his spine, through his throat.

Dive School In Florida

Okay, I couldn’t find any characters associated with the Punisher who spend a lot of time in Florida, but I can tell you Florida made its first appearance for Marve in Marvel Comics #1, that Man-Thing is from there, and that Captain Marvel spent time there working for NASA. Florida has also popped up in a few episodes of Agents of SHIELD. It’s where Joey (former SHIELD ally and Inhuman teammate) lives, where Elena has friends, and where May and Coulson pretended to be married to steal a painting.

The Final Shot

That final image of Castle in his Punisher vest opening fire has been in several comics. It’s clear it’s intentional.

Stan Lee

The final episode closes with an “in loving memory.” Not really an Easter egg, but worth a mention. While Stan Lee did not create the Punisher, he had a hand in his name. Originally, Frank Castle was going to be called the Assassin. Lee thought they should go for something a little less on the nose, and coined the Punisher.

A few notes for the season:

Castle never purposely uses lethal force against law enforcement. I guess that’s supposed to make us believe that his killing of all the bad guys is acceptable.

The support group that Curtis leads? One of my favorite things is that there are a lot of flyers on the bulletin boards behind them for things like free puppies. A lot of these guys would do better (not suddenly be whole again, but maybe do a little bit better) with an emotional support animal. It’s proven that having an animal to come home to can actually help you live longer. It’s one of the reasons there are groups that take animals into children’s hospitals and retirement homes for people to play with.

The season finale actually feels very final to me. I think this might have been the only one of the MCU Netflix shows where the writers thought they might not come back? Because it seems like they closed everything up nicely instead of teasing something else down the line.

That’s all I’ve got this time around. The next Easter egg list on the horizon for me is, I believe, Captain Marvel, which should be up the same weekend it releases since I’m seeing that one opening night.

#punisher #punisher season 2 #punisher easter eggs #marvel easter eggs #easter eggs

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swordsandrayguns · 4 years ago

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Science Fiction And Fantasy Fans Should Write Reviews

Writers, especially indie authors like yours truly, always ask for reviews. Why? Is it just to be annoying? Truth is, on ebook retailers, reviews = increased visibility. Even Google has indicated reviews affect search engine returns. So that is honestly a big part of why authors ask. Some of us also ask because we really want the feedback. I know I do, but I can’t pretend like that is why all authors ask. Because of that, I always feel kind of sleazy asking for them. It is like a waiter not so subtly reminding you to tip as they present the bill. However, I think there is a good reason we (all of us) should write reviews for books we read. I believe it helps the overall science fiction and fantasy community.

Hear me out; I know this sounds like me trying to justify asking for reviews but I really mean it is for the good of us all. See, I am old enough to remember the fan organized science fiction newsletters and fanzines, although I was too young to actually participate in that culture. I do, though, distinctly remember when conventions and other fan gatherings were the only time you could see obscure science fiction and fantasy shows/movies and find certain books, magazines, etc. Back when “anime” was “Japanimation,” for example, the 24 hour viewing room at the local convention was your best, maybe only, chance to see stuff like Vampire Hunter D, Fist of the North Star, Macross or Dirty Pair. If you were lucky, there was a club in your area that gathered monthly and crowded around a TV to watch untranslated VHS tapes traded with other clubs or laserdiscs purchased through friends in Tokyo. I was in one that met monthly at the Pantera’s in Webster Groves. Pizza and Captain Harlock in Japanese makes for a great Saturday afternoon!

Today, there are thousands of anime options out there… you don’t even have to buy them. They are on YouTube, Hulu, Netflix, etc… How do you decide? How do you cut through the madness? Same thing with books. Actually, it is even worse with books because you have all the independent authors and small presses available, too. Back in the day, if you were a science fiction and fantasy fan, you were a “science fiction and fantasy fan;” there were no distinctions and Lloyd Alexander’s Chronicles of Prydain books sat to Isaac Asimov’s Foundation titles and nobody even thought about putting them in separate sections! You read what was at the library or on the paperback rack at the bookseller of your choice because that was all there was! Hardback science fiction was pretty much just from the Science Fiction Book Club (if you had that kind of money/were old enough to enter a mail order contract). I don’t even remember if there was a dedicated fantasy book of the month club; you probably just had to hope the Science Fiction Book Club would throw you the odd bone. If you were lucky, you had maybe a dozen titles in that spinning paperback rack (because science fiction and fantasy probably shared the real estate with Louis L’Amour westerns, spy and detective thrillers and romance novels) and whatever you hadn’t already read at the library. That was it! That was all you could get unless you had spare cash for expensive mail order or could swap books with friends. If you were really lucky some selfless fan would donate a paper grocery sack of their paperback cast-offs to your library and keep you going for weeks!

But in 2021 Amazon alone dumps about 18 bajillion-million books in your lap (bajillion-million is really a word; they had to invent just to describe Amazon’s book catalog). There are physical books, ebooks, web only stuff and audiobooks. At the same time, the science fiction and fantasy meta-community is now fragmented into at least a thousand distinct fandoms. You do not have to be a science fiction and fantasy fan anymore; you can get very, very specific about your tastes. You only like martial arts stories framed with video game conventions? It’s a thing. Prefer historical novels told from an extraterrestrial point of view? It’s a thing. Female driven tales of magic set in the modern day as a metaphor for larger social problems? It’s a thing. Robots versus dinosaurs? Stories of Elvish warriors with a well defined and unique culture? Belgian post-apocalyptic comic books set in America? They already made that into a TV show.

How do you cut through the noise and find what you really want? How do you figure it all out? You only have so much time you can read and you have to budget it as carefully as your money… maybe even more carefully. After all, even if you are not buying, most libraries participate in e-book lending systems that still dump thousands of titles in your lap for free. How do you choose between the 400 books with spaceships, lasers and/or dragons on the cover published since you started reading this article? Reviews are your answer. Scratch that; good reviews, written by other fans, are your answer!

I used to shy away from writing reviews for two reasons: one, I always felt like I should write a dissertation on a book and two, I kind of didn’t want to admit to how many Star Trek books I end up reading because Simon and Schuster sells a new group of Star Trek ebooks every month for 99¢*! And even as I started to adjust my attitude and realize why book reviews are good for the science fiction and fantasy reader communities, it isn’t like anyone needs a review to discover Star Trek, right?

Let’s be real, that is probably fair. It is really, really hard to imagine someone stumbling across Star Trek, Star Wars or Game of Thrones in book form without any previous knowledge of the franchise… and I imagine things for a living! If you are pressed for time or nervous about writing reviews, it seems reasonable to not worry about the big franchises so much. On the flip side, if you are a serious Star Trek or Star Wars reader, for example, you could post reviews mentioning if a story felt true to the series, where the book would fall in the chronology of the overall series, which characters from the shows/movies appeared and the like. Some readers want to know these things and that is really what I think reader reviews should address!

Some of you are nervous about posting a review because you are nervous about sharing your thoughts and writing. I get that (for me it is that I feel obligated to write a dissertation as a matter of respect to the author and the work they put in). I suggest you just write a review as if you were telling a friend about the book. That is essentially what you are doing anyway; true, you probably haven’t met a single person who will read that review but just the fact they are considering reading that book with spaceships and lasers and dragons on the cover makes them part of the big science fiction and fantasy community, so they certainly could be a friend!

When it comes to writing a review, the only rule is no spoilers! You are not trying to re-tell the story, just help potential readers figure out if it is what they want in a story. I honestly suggest answering any questions you wanted answered when you were choosing the book. I think it is fair to mention other, possibly better known, properties the story brought to mind. Not necessarily compare, but more in terms of categorization. “The title suggests this book would be something like Doctor Who, but it made me think more of Blake’s 7 with a dash of Space: 1999,” or “This story reminded me of Fritz Leiber’s Lankhmar stories and Greek mythology.” Would you read either of those books? Would you not? That is what I am suggesting we try to do with reviews.

I think it also might be a good idea to mention any content concerns. “This seemed kind of R-rated for the Star Wars universe,” “The author does not shy away from violence,” and a simple “Contains adult language” could all be tremendously helpful to other readers. This is the only time you might bend (not break) the no spoilers rule... If there is something in the story you believe could truly upset a reader (a racist character, sexual assault, the bad guy kills dogs), mention it if you must. Just try to respect the no spoilers rule to the best of your ability.

Some people might not want to speak negatively of a book. Maybe you realize just because it was not your cup of tea this does not keep it from being the story that will change someone else’s life or maybe you just believe if you don’t have anything nice to say, be quiet. That is 100% okay. You could only review books you truly like. That is still going to help the community of readers. Or, you can stick to reviews that do not pass judgement. I am advocating reviewing books as a kind of crowd sourced categorization method for the overall and heavily segmented science fiction and fantasy community. With that in mind, I do not believe a “review” has to offer an opinion or judgement about a book, only information to help other readers decide if it is something that may be of interest to them.

This leaves one big question: where do you post a review? That is a good question and I believe the answer is wherever you would look for information about what to read next. The logical place to start is wherever you got the book. Pretty much every book retailer, be they online or brick and mortar, has a web presence that will let readers post reviews. Some will even automatically ask you for one. That seems a perfectly logical place to post a review, but if you are reading library books there may not be an opportunity to review titles (although my library system does post reader reviews, yours might not). There are social media options, Goodreads springs to mind, but there is no reason you could not post your thoughts on books to Facebook, Twitter, whatever. There are also websites and blogs which take reader reviews. You can post on as many or as few as you want (but please post a review somewhere!)… Personally, I guess I would think about the level of privacy and anonymity I want. As a reader, I did not really think that way but as a writer I do. I will admit I am afraid some Goodreads members, for example, may permanently discount my own writing because I read comic books or assume because I posted reviews of the 1950s Tom Corbett, Space Cadet novels my books are going to be of that shiny silver rocket ship brand of science fiction. I have actually kind of abandoned Goodreads for review platforms were I am anonymous. I do not use my name on Amazon, for example, so I post reviews there. In setting up profiles in other platforms I am careful now to stay generic. Goodreads requires a name, so if that bothers you find another place to post reviews.

I mentioned the fanzines and conventions earlier in this article. Sometimes I hear people kind of mourning those days, when the science fiction and fantasy community felt like more of a community because it was so much harder to get access to materials and merchandise. Maybe this is the complaining that all generations start as they decide the next generation has it so much easier, but I can say as someone in on the tail end of things, back in the day the science fiction and fantasy community did kind of feel more like a community. Whether you went all in and organized a club, convention or fanzine or just participated by attending or subscribing, fans had to go out of their way to participate and find the things they loved. Nobody was accidentally a science fiction and fantasy fan. Writing reviews, making that little commitment, means you are participating and contributing.

I hope I have convinced you to start reviewing books (or podcasts or movies or whatever part of science fiction and fantasy you love) because it is going to help us all find the next things we love. And also, despite our thousand fandoms today, I personally would love to see the science fiction and fantasy meta-community become a little more of a community again.

Thanks for reading. It really does mean a great deal to me just to get some other people thinking about this… if you have enjoyed this little article, if you find yourself agreeing with me please take a couple minutes out of your day and review the next book you read. Let me thank you in advance for the person you are going to end up helping to find their next read!

* If you are unaware of Simon and Schuster’s monthly selection of 99¢ Star Trek ebooks, you can find them here, I don’t get a piece of this or anything, just sharing: https://www.simonandschuster.com/startrekbooks

#science fiction #fantasy #readers #fandom #indie publishing

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steviesings · 7 years ago

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Sleepover: Coming back to Seattle, Stevie has a new man. But after a night with Lyla, all that changes.

Lyla: Marco was not a subtle man. "Hold the phone," he began as he watched Lyla packing a bag. "You and the blonde, sorry, your ex, no I mean Stevie, are going CAMPING together?" Lyla rolled her eyes but nodded. "By yourselves?! No offense but that's like, the least straight thing I've ever heard." Lyla stopped, growled at the man on her bed and spoke, "well, I'm a lesbian. So it should be as not-straight as it can get." She could see why Marco would tease but it still stung a bit, especially because she knew her own selfish wishes for the trip and how they shouldn't and wouldn't happen. "Have you even camped before? Do you know what a real forest smells like? Can you navigate a compass?" He asked jokingly causing Lyla to pick up a shirt she had been folding and whip it in his direction. "We're going to a site, you asshole. It's not like we'll be in the backwoods where we could die and never be found." Marco chuckled and leaned back to have a sip of his coffee he had brought them that morning. "I'm surprised you're even going. You don't seem like the camping type." It had also occurred to Lyla how out of character it had been to agree to a camping trip of all things, but she wanted to try new things and she told Stevie things were different. If that meant camping and it just being the two of them, she'd take it. "I'm open," she said as she finished zipping up the duffle bag she was borrowing from Marco. "Something is open... I don't think it's just your mind." This comment made Lyla jump on the bed and pound into Marco with her pillow. They laughed hysterically for another minute before Lyla released her Vulcan grip and rested against the headboard. "She's with someone. It's really not like that." Marco nodded in agreement but his eyes said otherwise. "She's the only other person who's ever been my friend here besides you, I'm not going to screw that up." He couldn't disagree there. While even Marco knew that Lyla was still in love with Stevie, he also knew that Lyla was a good person and she'd hold as tight to her new convictions as she could.

It wouldn't be long before Stevie arrived and took them out to the forrest so Marco and Lyla said their goodbyes as he helped bring her things down to the landing of her apartment building. "You sure I shouldn't stay to keep guard of your stuff?" He asked, crossing his arms in a knowing "dad" way. "She texted and said she'd be here in like three minutes. I can manage till then." Marco leaned in to hug the tiny girl and then took his time walking down the street. "Just in case," he had yelled back which caused Lyla to giggle. Stevie wasn't far behind, her mom's car making a somewhat noisy approach. The smile on her face made Lyla's light up as well. "I know I should have tried for one bag," she began as she swung the first into the backseat. "But I think two for me is a record!" She laughed with Stevie as she got into the front seat as fast as possible. "Confession time: I've never been camping." Lyla turned to the blonde, both nervous and excited, she didn't want to look like an idiot. "But it'll be fun. Where exactly are we going?" She asked as she took a look at Stevie's GPS on her phone. "Wow! I don't think I've been this far outside of Seattle." Finally she quieted down, taking in the sights of nature as the drove farther outside of the city. "It's nice your mom let you have the car. You'll have to thank her for me." Without Stevie's mom's car, they might have had to Uber to the woods and that seemed a bit silly, or they might not have been able to go at all. As more green became visible, Lyla become entranced with how scenic the landscape was. It was only when Stevie asked her to change the music selection that she realized she had zoned out. "How's the promo going, by the way? I know Seattle's a big help in distributing music on the west coast." She blushed at her own insight, "I read that somewhere. A while ago. It makes sense, though."

Stevie: Stevie didn't exactly know what possessed her to ask Lyla to go camping, but she had a feeling it wasn't her brightest move. Lucas, not that Stevie blamed him, seemed shocked and almost worried by the situation. It was one thing, Stevie understood, to talk about things and clear the air as she and Lyla had done all night earlier in the week, this, though, was different. It was a shift Stevie had caused between her and Lucas, and she hated herself for it. He acted nonchalant, but she could tell he wanted her to just drop it and not go, but he didn't want to be that guy who didn't trust his girlfriend, but he knew better than most that what Stevie had with the girl was special. He was, after all, the one producing her EP - there was hardly a detail he didn't know about his girlfriend and her ex lover. She didn't tell Symone. She could already hear the girl now, telling her she was a stupid cow and she was falling down the rabbit hole back into Lyla's world - and it was true, Stevie had felt that pull in Lyla's apartment and the love that had hardly died.

Piling a tent and two sleeping bags into the car - none folded into their little travel bags, but basically strewn about the trunk of her mom's beat up bug that looked like it seen better days, she tossed her duffle bag on top of the mess and kissed Lucas hard, reminding him that no matter what, she loved and would always choose him. "It'll be a few days, more than enough time to go to Portland and be back," she smiled at him. "You sure this will make it up the mountains?" He asked skeptically, and Stevie glanced at the car in agreement, but brushed off the concern, "It'll be fine! We're going to a local campsite, so all we have to worry is getting ourselves up the mountain," she said. He still frowned at the car, but she could tell that was hardly bothering him, "I love you, Stevie." A pang of guilt hit her and she looked away, "I love you, too. Good luck with Bryce! You're going to kill this promotion." He looked at her and sighed, forcing a grin. "And have fun camping." With your ex held unspoken in the air between them, but the bitterness settled like it had been said and Stevie nodded, getting in. The engine groaned to life, like a sleeping bear post hibernation and with a bang from the exhaust, it moved noisily. Turning up the radio, she nervously drove through Seattle. She always hated driving through the city, as did her mom, which is why they owned such a piece of junk. It was easier to take the bus than stress about crazy pedestrians with a death wish.

With more exhaust and hasty slams on the brakes later, the car crawled pathetically in front of Lyla's apartment and Stevie got out, smiling at the girl as she helped her lug two heavy bags and but one on top of a beat up sleeping bag and the other in the backseat beside the cooler that had minimal food (mostly s'mores and snacks, knowing neither of them would actually cook anything with fast food close by) and laughed, "Oh god, that shatters that illusion. All these years I thought you were basically Steve Irwin, why would you lead me to believe you love nature so much when you freak out over bugs?" Stevie teased. The radio blasted music, the stop and go of city life finally ended after an hour and then they were in the suburbs heading towards nature when the music was turned down. She nodded at Lyla, "We used to come when I was a kid. I haven't been up this way since my Girl Scout days, and besides, my mother used this car as much as I do. She hates driving when the metro is just as good - this is kind of like an emergency, like hospital or vacation use." As the car chugged it's way along, Stevie nearly laughed at Lucas's possible reaction to seeing the old rusted sack of bolts move and then felt guilty, only to be doubled at Lyla's question. "It's going good," she said. "He's promoting me and a few others, a weird indie band and a guy who sings about cats and a girl named Suzanne, sadly I'm the best of the bunch, not to sound like I'm rooting my own horn. He and his friend are new, decided to breakout on their own, so the pickings get slim at first - I think." Stevie had been lucky in meeting Lucas. It was like everything in the universe lined up just right so they could meet. He'd missed his bus and was trapped at a bar until his friend could come get him, and she'd been performing by chance after her normal spot overbooked and chose the other girl over her. She remembered him talking and then she came to their studio, or what he called it, anyway. It was a sound booth in his and Terrance's basement, which did seem shady to her, but she'd always been one for risks. And then they'd gone on their date and suddenly, life had fell into place and she'd had everything she ever wanted and she couldn't for the life of her figure out why she was risking it for this. "Yeah, Seattle is great for the whole music thing, ironically. LA is too big to get big, if you can believe it," she said.

Lyla: Lyla laughed at the other musical prospects that Stevie's boyfriend was promoting. Not because she was being petty or mean, it was just that Stevie's description was a funny picture in her head. "Poor guy," she mentioned before thinking about how difficult his job really was. "But also? I haven't listened to a lot of artists and you're already ten times better than them in my opinion. So toot that horn." Lyla wasn't lying either. She had always been nervous to listen to Stevie for the fear that she wouldn't be good and then there would have to be the awkward lying about it, but there was never a need. Stevie had it and it was the typical IT. She was herself, authentic, and it showed and shined like the sun. "Do you have a single out right now? Or is it all still private?" Lyla asked, turning in the car seat to make herself a little more comfortable. "I feel like I would have heard it if it's been on the radio."

Another thirty minutes passed, idle talks happening in between any good song that they actually thought was worth listening to in the quiet. Finally, they had made it to the campground and while Washington was beautiful, the place they were going to be spending their time, was a bit lack-luster. "I see they didn't spruce up the place for us," Lyla joked as Stevie picked a spot for them and parked the car. Instantly Lyla began to pull things from the trunk and backseat, wanting to show that a.) her past princess persona was basically gone and b.) how much excitement and appreciation she had for being invited in the first place. Exes didn't hang out all the time or go on trips with each other often and she knew that it was special.

It was mid-afternoon and while it was actually hot for Seattle and the surrounding areas, there was still enough of a breeze to feel chill if you needed a cool down. Lyla had pulled out their tent and began reading the instructions, before catching Stevie having a chuckle at her obvious expense. "Hey!" She started before picking up one of the pegs from the tent bag. "This is my first time here, I'm just trying to be thorough!" Laughter filled their general area as Lyla twirled the peg towards the blonde. "You'll be grateful for my great architectural insight when we're relaxing in a sturdy tent tonight." It didn't pass Lyla that she actually had no engineering background whatsoever, which she knew that Stevie knew too, but she kept the skit going anyway. "If you'd like to help, I would not be opposed, though." She placed her hands on her hips after putting together most of the actual tent structure, waiting for the other girl to either make a sarcastic comment or jump in, or, in the case of knowing Stevie, probably both.

Stevie: Stevie shook her head. "EPs never get radio, which is why he's pressing for this. If we get this he'd take off, and I'd be right beside him." She laughed, waving her hand, "I know it sounds like a pipe dream, but it's the first time I've been so close." Stevie always KNEW what she wanted. Even when she was a little girl and held her first guitar, she just knew. It was hard to explain to people that feeling. The knowing. People think you're being stupid and childish when you say that you want to do something that isn't "productive", as if having a passion meant less. Stevie knew though, and she bet her mom knew, too. The name wasn't a coincidence. "We have it on Spotify. It's gotten some traction, and we want to film a music video - I don't have a lot of notability. People want to sign to YouTubers and social media famous people because they know they have a following, people like me, we're a risk and some people don't want to take the chance."

She shifted uncomfortably as her and Lyla sat in silence, the indie band the only noise between them. She kept thinking of the situation and the look on Lucas's face, and it made her feel so guilty. Exes didn't camp, or befriend each other. What ex relationship ever had a successful friendship? This whole situation was delusional, but she didn't want to admit it. Arguing with herself, she reminded her nerves that she had Lyla were indeed friends. They'd talked, the whole thing was water under the bridge, and they'd moved on. Stevie had a boyfriend, Lyla worked at a bar and was accepting herself with a therapist, and life was good. In her naive little Stevie world, nothing could go wrong.

Stevie had noticed Lyla did change in ways. Before, Lyla had been way too city to camp, and while Stevie had also grown up in a bustling city, she'd always been one with nature. Lyla, though, was trying, and Stevie could tell it was from a place of genuine change. Snorting, Stevie yanked out the tent and tossed it on the ground along with the two tattered sleeping bags and shrugged, "It's the woods, not the Hilton - or whatever hotel," she teased. Watching as Lyla found instructions somewhere deep in the tent, glad that her and her mom had kept something even if surprising. "More like I'm surprised that thing has that. It's so old. I think my mother bought it in '95. And I have two tarps, just in case." She felt sort of bad for the quality of everything, but at the same time, didn't waste her brain on it. At the end of the day, Stevie and Cloud had always survived, but without tenants, they'd never make ends meet. Even now in LA, Stevie and Symone struggled. Neither made good money - even though Symone had a job that should, it was a fact: people paid you shit, but everything was expensive.

Laying down the tarp, she had the tent set over and got to work. "My mom and I used to camp every other week in the summer. We couldn't afford trips, or anything, so we'd come up here and camp." Stevie didn't even need the instructions. This tent was second nature to her and she all put booted Lyla aside to set it up, and once they were done, tarp thrown on and all incase of rain, she stood up and brushed herself off. "Do you wanna eat something then hike? There's a place to swim up along some hiking path, we can rent a float and go tubing or something," she suggested to Lyla.

Lyla: Lyla was entirely new to the outdoor world. In fact, she felt so much so like a fish out of water that her insecurities were popping up as Stevie mentioned food and swimming after finishing the tent with ease. She could tell that the blonde was sensing the mood switch too, like the tides of the ocean from the moon - and Lyla couldn't help it. "Mhm," she mumbled while going into their cooler and bags of food. It was hard to not know anything about anything for Lyla, she was always smart book-wise; and so, when real life happened and she felt inadequate, things got harder. She breathed and relaxed as they made some sandwiches and talked a bit more about Stevie's music and Lyla's new job. "So I guess the only way I can hear it is through you then," she joked, knowing that Stevie probably would say no to that. "Don't think I won't have you playing something tonight. These woods need your melodies. Or at least some Fleetwood, Stevie Knicks ones." A fact that Lyla had never brought up and wouldn't was how after their break-up, all she could listen to was Fleetwood Mac. She had cried and dreamed of Stevie while she listened to every album in existence that they had. It was a tie to her that both helped let her go and also place an even more special place in Lyla's heart.

"So this swimming and floating aspect?" Her words were a question, unsure of how enjoyable it would be. "We'll be in a lake, right? We're not near the ocean anymore?" They had driven near the beach at times which is what had caused her to question where they'd be going next. The pacific northwest ocean hadn't been her favorite. It was colder, darker and more rough than her east coast Massachusetts ocean was. 'How significant,' she thought to herself. As they began to make their way there, Lyla reiterated her ability to try new things. "I'll do whatever you want. I trust you." She looked up into the trees and wondered if they might be able to have some picture taking time, because the forrest around them was beautiful. Lyla needed more than just memories of this. Finally the reached a small cove which had exactly what Lyla had hoped for: a decent-sized lake with a decent amount of people having fun both in and around it. So again, her tensions eased and as she looked over to Stevie, the sun was hitting them in such a way that felt like a happy kind of fate. Was it a sign? Probably not, and Lyla didn't like thinking that way anymore, but it was nice to imagine for a moment. "Okay, boss. Lead the way." She said smiling as she followed behind Stevie up more of the path to where they would rent a float or two. Excitement was reemerging and it was definitely showing on her face. Lyla would be like a school girl getting to see Stevie in most of her glory again, though she definitely would keep that in check so no weirdness would slip between them again; But she was happy. The day was warm, the sun was actually out, and she was with a friend, the best friend she could have asked for, especially when being totally outside of her element.

Stevie: Stevie nodded, though felt uncomfortable at the idea of Lyla hearing her music. It wasn't that Stevie painted Lyla in a bad light, it was just... emotional. Her songs had been about love and magic, finding peace, struggling - she had at least a hundred rough drafts of songs about her time with Lyla and other various things, but the eleven songs she had out were about being a bisexual girl and Lyla. Each song was an emotional ride, and she didn't want Lyla in that world. She didn't want her to feel guilty when she'd come so far. "Who knows, maybe after the short tour we do I'll be famous," she said with a shrug. In truth, Stevie didn't know what the future held. She knew she was touring to a few places over the country and had a good following, but as for fame? Who even knew. Stevie laughed, "You know me, I'm always ready for The Queen. I can play some of my oldies, don't worry." Then she paused, "You know, I don't remember playing you a lot of Stevie... or Fleetwood." It struck her as odd, because she'd told Lyla some stories, but nothing really major. Lucas, however, knew everything from her namesake, to how her mother played Rhiannon so much that she was so close to naming her first and only daughter after the witch herself, but instead, in a twist of fate, had decided on Stevie Nichole, to honor her favorite musician and the only thing that kept her through those months of solitude when she'd been alone and pregnant with her daughter. "But we can change that tonight," she vowed.

"You've never gone tubing?" Stevie asked in shock, as if forgetting who Lyla was. Of course Lyla had never been tubing. She wasn't Symone, she'd been rich and her parents had probably been too good for camping. "So you start at the top and go down a stream and float. It's fun. Peaceful, actually. It's like a real life lazy river, and at the end, you're at this lake and it's breathtaking." Grabbing Lyla's hand she said, "Trust me. You'll love it!" When they got to the top, Stevie got two floats and had them separate. Her and Symone once tied theirs together, and got so rowdy that they'd almost drowned each other, and thought maybe that was too intense for Lyla's first go. "Okay, you go first and I'll be behind you, okay?"

Lyla: The water was cold as Lyla stepped into the stream. It was faster moving than she thought it would be and her nervousness correlated to a million goose bumps, though she breathed and inched out a little farther. Slowly she maneuvered the tube behind her and gently sat herself in the center as everyone else had. Stevie was right behind her and thankfully, the two took off down the more legit river together.

In a moment of panic as the flow quickened, she reached out for Stevie's hand. The blonde could probably tell that Lyla was scared and so she smiled. Finally, after a few minutes, the water got slower and they caught up to a few singles, a family and a couple that had seemingly hit the bottom on a shallow side. "Go right," the dad yelled as some other helped to keep steer them past it. Lyla giggled as they kept going, she let her head fall back into the water and relaxed a bit more. "I guess it's a good thing we're so tiny. Finally, it pays off."

Finally, the two women reached the crest that lead out into the huge lake, Lyla couldn't believe how peaceful the entire experience was. As she looked at Stevie, it was like she knew that Stevie was meant for things like this. She was Mother Earth herself and in nature it was beautifully apparent. "This is beautiful," Lyla said for probably the 17th time that day. "I can't believe I never would have come here without you." She bobbed around in the water, using her arms as ore's to push herself back over to Stevie. It hadn't gone over her head that the blonde was being evasive about her music and so Lyla dropped it. Though, she couldn't wait to hear Stevie sing later. It had been too long. The water around them began to fill as more people drifted into the lake, and it warmed Lyla more than she had been in months. "I could stay here till it gets dark." Her voice was borderline chipper as she half joked but was also half telling the truth. She was a water sign after all. "Although food sounds pretty great so that might have to happen too."

Stevie: The water prickled Stevie's skin as she got into the float. Bobbing for a moment, she let go and took off down the stream and tossed her head back in delight. It'd been so long since she'd done this, and she let the river take her away as she bumped and bucked in the seat, her hair partially submerged as she relaxed. In truth, Stevie wished she could live her life as she was in this moment: letting the river take her, no plan, just blind faith that she'd get to the end okay. But she couldn't do that anymore. With her music, it wasn't just her failure, it'd be everything Lucas was relying on to finally launch his career - it was their chance to make it or be fucked. But Stevie wasn't thinking of her music or Lucas, she wasn't concerned with anything until she saw Lyla's hand and she grabbed it, laughing. "Don't be so scared," she said with a smile.

She looked up, seeing the trees and birds and how cloudless the sky was. It was rare for Washington to have a day like this: blue skies, sunshine, and she inhaled. She could hear Symone and her other friends she'd long since left behind laughing, trying to knock one another off, and she could see her mom drifting carelessly, because Cloud always knew things worked out.

As they got dropped off, it was breathtaking. No matter how many times she'd seen it in her life, the view always made her want to weep. "Isn't it? It's one of the most beautiful things we'll ever see." As people poured in, she laughed. "I feel bad never taking you camping, but there was never time, I guess." They'd never had enough time, but that was life: there was never time to do or say everything you needed to, and Lyla and Stevie had been too short lived and too cram packed of hurt and pain. The two never had a chance to make it anywhere.

Stevie nodded in agreement. "I almost want to go again, but I'm kind of hungry. I barely ate anything before leaving," she admitted. Plugging her nose, she fell into the circle and let the cold water submerge her and she looked around before resurfacing and grabbing onto the float, "let's go back to the top and see if where we got these has anything to eat," she suggested.

Lyla: At the suggestion of food, Lyla couldn't agree more. She quickly got out of the water, carried her tube, and began the journey with Stevie close behind. "I know I wasn't the food-bringer, but I've got stuff for s'mores back up at the tent." Her grin was huge knowing that a.) she had actually done something right and b.) Stevie would enjoy it just as much.

Once they reached their destination and returned the floats, they got in line for dinner. As Lyla scanned the menu, she noticed that their options were limited. Suddenly they were at the cashier and it was time to order. "I'll take a hot dog and some fries please. Ketchup for both." She stepped to the side and waited as Stevie ordered, too. "It looks like it might rain." The sky was darkening a bit, but that was mostly from the sun going down though some dark clouds were forming a bit. The blonde would make things positive even if they got a little wet in the process, as she always did. Lyla was determined to keep her spirits up in that case as well.

Finally, the two picked a bench overlooking the river that had enough room for them to put their food down in between them. As they ate, the sky began to change colors even amongst the clouds. "It's so pretty here," Lyla breathed, taking in air through her nose and exhaling loudly as if to let any lingering tension she felt out. "Thanks for inviting me," she began. "I haven't been out of the city like, ever." Lyla's eyes scanned her surroundings as she thought about the last time she had even left the city was for Christmas. "Apparently I need to a bit more." She had finished her hot dog and only had a few more fries left when she mentioned returning to camp before it got too dark. "I trust you to lead us back, but just in case. Wouldn't want us becoming a not as poetic version of Into The Wild." She laughed and helped clean up the area, all the while staring at Stevie more times than she should have. It was just so intoxicating to be so happy and with her again that Lyla was constantly reminding herself to breathe; but eventually, the area was clean, light was leaving and it was time to go. "Plus, the sooner we get back, the sooner we get some music going and that's what'll make this day perfect." She smiled confidently and took off down the trail that the two had come up, walking right beside Stevie as the woods took them in with open arms.

Stevie: Stevie played with her much-too wilted salad as she listened to Lyla ramble on at their table. She paid to much for it, but she didn't feel the need to spare it much thought. Being a vegetarian was hard, and she'd grown sadly accustomed to the lack of choices and shitty salad options, and instead put her chin in her palm, listening to the cute girl across from her. Lyla had always mesmerized Stevie, that much was true. She'd been a regular at the cafe, and Stevie always seemed to have Lady Luck on her side before Lex noticed and let her wait on the petite brunette. It took forever for Stevie to have the nerve to flirt, never able to tell who was into girls and who wasn't, and then, suddenly they were Lyla and Stevie... something.

It was the "something" Stevie hated. She hated casual. She hated flings. She didn't want to be a booty call, or Friends with Benefits, she needed attachments. She needed to be needed. "It is," she agreed, being pulled from her memories and thoughts. Her stomach churned a bit. This was wrong... She should tell Lyla they should go back to the city and - "This was my favorite place to be as a kid," she confided, ignoring the voices. They were adults. She could handle it. And so could Lyla. "I love the city, y'know? But here - here life is just peaceful. Even my mom seemed to relax." It was true that Cloud, like Stevie, thrived in the chaos. The only difference was Stevie had thrived in her mother's chaos. When she was little, she didn't know things like boarders or haggling or living without luxuries (i.e. The month the dryer AND washer broke and everyone hung clothes around the house and washed in the tub) or didn't have electricity because everyone, like Cloud, could hardly hold down a job being artists, or whatever. Cloud, however, created chaos, and sometimes made mountains out of molehills when the mountains behind her crumbled and she ignored them, because the actual issues worked out in the end. "It's nice to just turn off your brain and take it easy." Then she looked at Lyla, "Did you ever leave the city in Boston? Or did you just always stay there?"

She swallowed. The music... Nodding, she tried to seem impasse, as if the music could be about anyone and shrugged. "If you want. Mostly, I just need proper nourishment," she said as she gestured to the wilted garden salad she'd hardly touched. Her stomach made growls, but mostly for the thought of a charred marshmallow between to graham crackers and oozing chocolate. Licking her lips at the thought, she looked up at the sky. "You don't want to reenact The Wild? Chicken," she teased, but stood up and stretched. Tossing the container in the trash, she walked up the path. "So what did you and your parents do? You know, for fun." She snorted, thinking of her own childhood, "Symone's family used to take me with them on things. I went to Disney one time when I was fourteen, and they got a family plan and on my ticket says Stevie de la Croix and the attendant is looking at me with my pale as hell skin and my blue eyes and my hair was bleached so much I looked like Draco's sister, and Symone and he doesn't know what to say or do because it's clearly not true, and let us through. One of the funniest moments, but god that trip was fun." The de la Croix's had always felt more like her family, it was true, and that always made her feel guilty. She loved her mom, but Symone's parents always felt like hers, too.

When Stevie had worn sneakers, Mrs de la Croix would buy her a new pair, ask free. She always let Stevie spend the night, eat dinner and everything. It was good to have the stability while dealing with the chaos. "We stayed at The Wilderness with her cousins and hung out outside for hours - could even go from the Magic Kingdom by boat so we could stay to close - ALONE. Mostly because Tess, her older cousin, was 19 at the time." She smiled at the memory, and looked at Lyla, realizing how little she knew about the girl in horror. "Did you - I mean did you ever... You know? Did you at least have someone like Symone?" She asked, feeling awkward at her lack of background knowledge of someone she claimed to have loved - did love.

Lyla: The wooded green was enough to totally entrance Lyla as she and Stevie made their way back to camp. Though every few moments, she made sure to listen, especially when it came to details about the blonde. They had known certain things about the other and yet not much at all. She could imagine a young Stevie with Symone thoroughly enjoying herself on any adventure she was lucky enough to be a part of. "That all sounds like the two of you," she replied, convinced that both of them had been the same since they say they met each other. However, as Stevie began to ask about Lyla's past, she wished that she hadn't. "I went plenty of places. My dad would take my mom and I on work trips, we'd go to Martha's Vineyard in the summer for two weeks." Lyla had loved those summer vacations. That was where she had the best time, where she was able to be away from her real life long enough to be happy.

"I've never had a Symone," Lyla admitted honestly. "I made a friend at the vineyard, Olivia, who I still keep in touch with but no one else has ever stuck. I didn't like my school or the people in it much." Darkness was taking over the trees just as they arrived back at their tent and Stevie's car; Lyla was somewhat relieved because being in an unfamiliar wild place wasn't the most comforting feeling. As she and Stevie got out some things for s'mores and managed a fire after about twenty minutes, they sat down beside each other and continued with their conversation. "Marco is the closest person to ever be with me, besides you. Friendship wise," Lyla clarified. "And he's been amazing. He's offered to be my roommate and sperm donor if, and I quote, ever go that direction in wanting a kid or two." Lyla laughed as she remembered the conversation where he had casually mentioned that as if it was offering up his leftover fries. "You'd love him. He's a good time." Her s'more had officially toasted to perfection and Lyla ate it in three less than graceful bites. "God, that was INCREDIBLE!" She was already prepping her next marshmallow before Stevie could even react. "I don't want to eat anything else while we're here!"

As night had officially taken over, the laughter and talking continued just as easily as Lyla remembered it. It was like they were the only two people on the planet, and in the woods, all alone, it seemed that way. In the distance they heard parents arguing, kids laughing, some music and crickets and it made her calm. Washington had been inherently different, better, than Massachusetts since the second Lyla had stepped off the plane two years ago. It grew later much faster than the two girls had thought and by 12:30, Lyla had been stuffed with chocolate, graham crackers and marsh mellows. "I love owls," she noted as one made a noise from the trees above them. "So wise." Lyla smiled at Stevie and noticed that the girl had goosebumps. She quickly got up and grabbed the closest blanket that had been in the tent and tossed it over them as she sat closer. "It's getting too late to stay warm with just our sweaters, don't you think?" It was a tease at Stevie's ability to take care of herself, though Lyla knew that she did just fine. They had a habit of getting so wrapped up in each other that they forgot that life still required functioning. They sat quietly for a few minutes, taking in the night around them as the fire warmed their legs. "If you're not too tired, can I ask a deeper question?" Lyla waited for Stevie's reply, not wanting to overstep. "Could I maybe meet your mom someday? I regret having not." Her voice was quieter, both because she felt sensitive about her mess ups but also to keep the woodland creatures asleep. "Obviously if we don't keep in touch after you leave... But I'd like to and I'd like to see who produced you. Because you're something." The way Lyla placed emphasis on the word 'something', she worried Stevie might read something other than what she meant; But at the same time, there was a level of Lyla that didn't care if she did.

Stevie: Stevie nodded. Not much had changed between she and Symone, they just grew into their own. Symone had always been a logical Virgo, and Stevie had always been an overemotional Pisces, and they'd balanced one another out. "Martha's Vineyard sounds nice," she offered with a grin, but frowned. Had Lyla always been so alone? It made Stevie feel bad because she'd known that, but hoped otherwise. Lyla had been private and Stevie had been open. Lyla had known most of Stevie's friends when they'd be around the city - they'd come up and hug her or talk to her, and Stevie would introduce Lyla and they'd all go about their merry way. Lyla liked secrets.

"He sounds great," Stevie agreed. "I'd love to meet him before I go home!" She looked at her marshmallow roasting, "You should meet Lucas. Especially after this. He's a good guy, sweet. And he could probably give you a run for your money at trivial pursuit." The silence grew a bit between them as the sunset and Stevie got out her guitar, strumming a few cords before tuning it. "So you've never gotten into Fleetwood Mac, well dear, you've come to the right place." Stevie laughed at the goofiness as she tested out the notes and cleared her throat, "This is one of my favorite songs - or as my mother calls it, my almost name. It was really between this, Stevie Nichole, Sara and Bella Donna... But this is the best song ever!" Clearing her throat again, she began to play Rhiannon for Lyla, and as the song faded out she played Leather and Lace. Setting her guitar down, she ignored the tears that wanted to brew in her eyes as she realized she hadn't heard Leather and Lace since the breakup months ago. It had always reminded her of Lyla, despite the obvious heterosexual nature of the song. It was Lyla to her. She loved Lyla, and knew the moment they met it was never going to end. Some people had that vibe when you met them: that they were going to change your life forever and stay inside your mind. Making another smore, she nestled under the blanket Lyla had supplied, laughing at her owl comment. "Well they are the nerds of the forrest, like you," she said sticking out her tongue. Curling her hands around the blanket, Stevie let a few tears fall and she nodded. "Of course. Yes. Yes you can meet her." She felt touched Lyla still wanted to know her mom, that she, too, regretted all that they missed out on. She didn't mean to, and she was caught up in the moment as she looked at the girl, her face soft from the fire light and it was pent up for months and it was romantic and perfect, Stevie leaned in and kissed Lyla softly on the lips.

It was like an instinct as she cupped the girl's cheek, deepening the kiss. It tasted like smores, and it was sticky from the marshmallow and suddenly her eyes snapped open and she jumped up. "Oh god!" Looking around, she shoved her hands in the faded pink strands, tugging at them. "Oh fuck!" Crying a bit, she wiped her eyes. "Shit! I'm sorry! I shouldn't have - I just!" Not even waiting, she walked over to the car and grabbed the stash that was usually under the shit in the glove box and grabbed her key ring that had the small pipe her mom had once given her as a joke. Taking it off, she filled it and grabbed the lighter. "We're going to pretend it didn't happen. It couldn't have, and I'm sorry! I just got so fucking caught up - I'm sorry!" Taking a hit, she offered some to Lyla.

Lyla: Between their closeness, Stevie's tears, and the quiet around them, Lyla was doing her best to say underwhelmed though she was failing. Listening to Stevie sing had always been something that melted Lyla completely and this was no different. The tears that finally came made Lyla's want to pour but she kept them in check, only letting a few fall as Stevie finished, gave the okay that Lyla could meet her mother, and talking to her about Lucas who sounded the best for Stevie in every way; and even though she had already met him and knew that something did in fact seem off, she simply nodded and let the moment pass.

It wasn't until the she noticed how close in proximity that they were, that Lyla could see something changing in Stevie as they sat together. As their lips connected, she could barely breathe. She imagined something like this since the night they broke up. The most tender touch that would heal them, maybe. It was soft and delicate, just like their feelings and Lyla wanted it to last for ten years longer than it had.

As Stevie began to freak out, Lyla shrank into herself a bit until she came back from the car, lit bowel in hand. "You don't have to be sorry to me," Lyla said calmly as she watched the blonde frantically moving about. "I'M sorry that I put you in this position." She was so afraid of everything then that she wanted to die. She should have said her piece at the bar that night and let that be that. Instead, Lyla had roped Stevie back in - be it a genuine desire to be around her again, but she shouldn't have. The other woman had moved on and was better without her and now she complicated everything yet again. She let Stevie smoke, turning away the offer to join her, and kept racking her brain of the right thing to say. Whatever Stevie wanted was obviously what they would do. Lyla's inabilities had ruined them last time and she wouldn't do it again. This would be different, even if it broke her heart.

It had been quiet for a long time before Lyla said anything else. "It didn't happen," she reiterated without looking over at Stevie. "And after this trip, I'm going to leave you alone. I didn't mean for this to happen..." She felt more tears choking her. Lyla didn't want separation. Lyla didn't want a life without Stevie but it was her fault that it was like that in the first place. "I'm so so-sorry, Stevie. I ruined everything and now nothing is the way it should be and I'm a horrible person." Her tears were no longer manageable as she cried into the blanket, the feeling of nausea overwhelming her. "You're always so good and kind and fucking perfect and I missed you so much that the second you were around I had to have all of you." Her eyes stayed on Stevie's as the two cried. Lyla reached out and held onto her hands for dear life. "We can go home right now if you want. Whatever you want is what's going to happen, okay? Nothing else is going to be bad for you, I promise. Please just tell me what you want and I'll do it."

Stevie: Lyla was right about that, Stevie could agree. She was sorry, because she knew feelings had to linger between them, but she also had to be sorry for Luke. God, Luke! She couldn't even imagine seeing him after that. What would she even say to him? "Hey, Luke, remember that trip you didn't want me to take with my ex girlfriend and I said we were mature adults who could handle it? Well, I lied, babe. We kissed. And by we, I mean I kissed her." God, she was stupid! So fucking stupid and so fucking screwed, she couldn't even see her ass from her face. Looking at Lyla, Stevie knew the look she tossed her was one of a deranged rabid person as Lyla rambled on and on how it was her fault. How could it be? Stevie agreed. She looked this man, the perfect man - the one she had wanted to be with - and said she could do this and fucked up! She knew she couldn't handle it, but she couldn't hurt Lyla's feelings again, not after everything. "Are you fucking kidding me!? I'm the reason we're here! I fucked up! God, I fucking hate myself! I fucking ruin everything and I don't know what's wrong with me!"

She doubted smoking would help her, but fuck she needed something. She needed a plan... she needed a time machine, a minute alone. She wanted to be like Lyla or Symone - they were neat, organized. Stevie had always been impulsive, it was something she'd gotten from Cloud. Cloud lived in the chaos, and Stevie lived with her. She did what she wanted, even though she always hated the consequences. No one could ever be as stupid as her. Wasn't she just saying to Symone a week ago Luke was the one? He was perfect, and she wanted to marry him, get this music out there and maybe have a family... She had seen it so perfectly, and what had she done? Tossed it away in a moment of weakness. "Perfect," Stevie mocked hollowly. Perfect, she fucking wished. "I'm not perfect. I ruined it with you before it even began, and we know it, Lyla." She was vulnerable, upset and her voice shook as she marched on, unable to stop. "I'm so unlovable, that even when I find love I muck it up. How the hell can I face him after this? Lie. Even telling him the truth," her lip quivered and she cried as Lyla took her hand.

Stevie knew she should yank it back. She couldn't be trusted with this, not with Lyla. In truth, Stevie knew Lyla had been the one. Anyone else was settling, but she'd wanted to settle for Luke. She wanted to feel loved, be in love, have the perfect life with him - but she'd wanted all those things with Lyla first, and she'd been rejected and it hurt. Still hurt. "I don't know," Stevie said shakily. She couldn't leave, not without a plan. "I - I don't know what I'm going to do. I can't go home, not yet. I can't tell him tonight... I - I'm being a coward, b-but I don't care! I just need a second to just figure it out. I have to tell him, but -" She whacked the log she was sitting on, feeling the sting of her hand, yelping but ignoring it all together as she looked into the fire. "I don't want to regret anything with you Lyla... even this. It feels like I'm spitting on us, but he's - I love him. I really fucking love him!"

Lyla: It was hard for Lyla to see Stevie so upset, yet again, partially because of her. She could barely keep track of Stevie's mind as the blonde went on and on about her mistakes. "Stevie," she said firmly, trying her best to bring the other woman back to her side instead of in her head. The wilderness around them lived on. Crickets chirped, the waters kept flowing and owls and the other animals roamed. "Breathe with me." Lyla wasn't used to being put together anymore. After Stevie had left, everything had fallen apart. She hadn't been the same ever since and it had been a hard pill to swallow. "In through your nose," she nodded as the blonde did what she said. "Out through your mouth."

After a few minutes of quiet, Lyla couldn't tell what she should do. Ever since Stevie had kissed her, that's what she had wanted to do more of; but she knew better and so she should BE better.

"Just tell him I came onto you. He doesn't need to know that you kissed me so much as we kissed, right?" Lyla knew Stevie's moral code was going to disagree but the facts would still be true and told. "You want him to know this happened but you don't want to lose him, so don't." Her mouth became dry as she spoke. It hurt. Stevie kissing her. Stevie's pain from kissing her. Stevie still wanting to be with Lucas. There wasn't a right answer or solution. "But Stevie, you didn't ruin anything. Not us and not you and Lucas."

Lyla got up from their bench and began to move around the camp, trying to fix herself and the problem at hand. But it all came back to feeling Stevie. Her lips, her hands, the way they melted together even in the split second they touched. It was like nothing had changed, and what did that mean? Lyla knew she'd never be over Stevie but was Stevie really as in love as she said? Or was she doing the same thing Lyla was trying to do: act like things had changed in their hearts when they really hadn't. There was no way of knowing what Stevie really felt and Lyla wouldn't be the one to assume and make an ass of herself or upset Stevie enough that she never saw her again. Though, with the way Stevie was talking, that might happen anyway.

While she was turned away, Lyla searched herself for something to say. She had given up her family for who she was, that would never be a factor again. She was closed off from everyone when she was with Stevie because of her fear and now that she didn't have that anymore, would it make a difference? Her gut said yes but Stevie's tears for someone else kept her quiet.

Finally, she spoke. "This isn't the right thing to say. I should stay on the path of making it better for you and Lucas. I know it." Lyla turned to face Stevie through their dimming fire. "But what I want to tell you is that I love you and so whatever you want, that's what I want. I can disappear after this weekend so that I'm not a problem anymore." Her eyes filled with tears, though she kept them on Stevie. "But I need you to know that since you kissed me, it's all I can think about. I miss you. I missed feeling you both that way and your fucking spirit." She stopped herself, shaking her head because she felt like such an idiot. "All I want is to spend the night with you. Talking. Kissing. Touching like we used to because I miss you and us and I'm sorry that I let fear get in the way of us last time but it wouldn't be there anymore." Lyla paused and moved closer between Stevie and the their tent. "I know this is horrible to put on you. To say. So just tell me to fuck off if you want, but I needed you to know it. At least one more time."

Stevie: Stevie felt her stomach churn as Lyla gave her a way out. It'd be so easy to just take it. To accept it and go run to Luke tomorrow, crying about how Lyla kissed her and she didn't mean to let her, it just happened. Luke would understand; he always understood, and Stevie could see it now: the way his face would drop, how he'd blame Lyla for taking advantage of Stevie's kindness and how he'd let it go. They'd go back to LA and he'd be none the wiser, and they'd carry on as they did before, happy as clams. Sure, the guilt would kill Stevie inside, but she'd truck on and be an even better girlfriend than before, and maybe one day, somewhere down the road, Luke would propose and she'd say yes, and they'd get married have some kids and he'd never know that this night Stevie kissed Lyla. That Stevie still, to this very day, loved Lyla. Everything they would have after this night if she told Luke this lie would be forever marred by it. He'd be so unaware that every kiss, every fuck, every moment would circle back to one tiny kiss with Lyla in the woods. She shook her head, letting the images shatter of a possible future. She didn't want to think of Luke forgiving her, because she knew he would. He knew Stevie loved Lyla, and would probably always love Lyla - he was her fucking producer. He'd gambled on her in every way shape. She was what he was banking on as a start of his record business, he was hoping she was the one, and what did she do? Spat at him.

She felt awful for thinking it, but it was true: Lyla had hurt her. Lyla wanted to be permanent, but Stevie didn't know she could gamble with her heart again. It took a lot of patience and love from Luke to get to a point of loving him - anyone. It killed her, and she looked at Lyla, falling into the kiss, cursing herself. "Lyla," she said as she pressed her hand against the girl, pushing her away. She wanted to - she wanted to give in, never tell Luke what happened and live a lie, but she couldn't. She wouldn't do that to him, not after everything. "I - I love you. You know I love you. I didn't even get love till we met, and you know that, but... I do love him. It was hard being out there, getting over you and moving on. You hurt me, and I know you didn't mean to, but it killed me to know you could give someone everything and be let down, and then I happened into a person at the right time and I began that feeling again. It'll never be as strong as us, but I owe him more than this!" It killed her to deny Lyla, and it killed her to know that if she went back to Luke she'd be living a lie. Crying, she looked at Lyla, seeing everything and nothing. If they did this, they'd be ruined, too. Stevie cared, all she'd done was care, but looking at Lyla, all she felt was want. She wanted Lyla to love her, to make her feel loved, and Lyla wanted that from Stevie and cupping her face she pressed her forehead to Lyla's forehead. "I can't hurt him. I'm sorry. I just... I can't."

Lyla: Lyla let her tears fall, breathing in deeply as she listened to Stevie say what she knew was true: She loved him and she couldn't hurt him any more than she already had with their kiss. She understood it and deep down, there was a part of Lyla that was lighting because at least she got to hear that Stevie still loved her. As much as she wanted things to be different, Stevie was making it so that if anything ever did happen again, it could be more pure than if they completely betrayed Luke in the process. After what felt like an hour, Lyla pulled away from the blonde and held her hands. "I'm sorry that this happened," she admitted. "Not because we didn't need this." Her voice trailed off for a moment, thinking about how she knew Stevie deserved better than what they had left off at. "But I didn't mean to put us in this situation." They listened to the world around them, the early morning hours arriving quickly like they always did with them. "You're too good, Stevie. You really are. We made a mistake but, those can be fixed." Her eyes looked in Stevie's blue ones, the desperate need to hug her overcoming Lyla like a wave. "I think what we need now is sleep. This night has been... too much." She smiled and laughed lightly, realizing that the last few times they had been together were also too much in terms of emotions. As they climbed into the tent and got ready for bed, Lyla couldn't help but stare as Stevie changed and Stevie did the same. It was going to be torture until the day they died. Which honestly, Lyla wished would have been sooner if it meant not aching so much. Once the two were in their sleeping bags, snuggled closely to stay warm even though it wasn't horribly cold by any means, Lyla reached for Stevie's hand. "Thank you for taking me camping. It's been fun but I think I'll stick mostly to the indoors," she giggled. "I hope we don't get eaten by any bears but if we do, I'm glad to go out with you." Lyla closed her eyes and listened for Stevie's response before falling asleep to the peaceful sounds of an ending summer.

#p: 004;;

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oldfashionedswiftcurse · 8 years ago

Text

Alwyn vs. Swift Pt. 3

A few weeks had passed, and Joe was still as persistently in lust with Taylor. As per their agreement, Taylor refused to lose this “challenge” that Joe had created for them. Her first two dates were with two of Rebecca’s friends, and while the guys were nice, Taylor knew that it wasn’t enough to start anything serious. Her last date was unexpected, and she was actually excited for it.

Martin, one of the members of Joe’s band, made the decision to ask her out during one of their late night pub crawls. He was nervous, and she knew that despite being friends with Joe, he didn’t have the same air of haughtiness, or at least didn’t publicly show it the way Joe did. When Martin showed up at her townhouse armed with a bouquet of flowers, Taylor blushed immediately and put them in water as soon as possible. He was dressed in a light blue dress shirts, trousers, and loafers, and she grew nervous at her own outfit: a fitted red lace dress.

She followed behind him as he led them to a brightly lit restaurant, an Italian place. He was an only child with happily married parents who adored him and naturally spoiled him (he blushed while mentioning this). Similarly, he wanted to start his own record company and keep producing quality music for a long time. Taylor told him about her own family, conveniently leaving out her mother’s abandonment. She didn’t want to scare Martin about her mommy issues on their first date. Afterward, they walked hand in hand to a park where Martin surprised her with a movie under the stars. It was thoughtful and romantic that is until she spotted Joe and his date, Janet. Taylor couldn’t help the biting sting of jealousy that she felt at seeing them.

As Martin set up their blanket, Taylor went to the food stand to pick them up some popcorn and drinks. Suddenly, she felt a pair of warm hands on her waist and knew that Martin wouldn’t have been so brash on their first date. She stiffened and smirked when she saw Joe’s grinning face.

“You look marvelous tonight,” he whispered into her ear. “It’s such a pity that you’re not coming home with me.”

She rolled her eyes and turned to face him.

“Such a pity,” she muttered sarcastically, glancing around to make sure Martin didn’t see their interaction. “What are you doing here?”

“Ah, curious about my night’s activities, are you love? Well, I’m on a date as well, a very nice girl. You may have met her, Janet.”

Taylor paused.

“Of course you’d ask out the girl that had total heart eyes for you just yesterday. Safe move,” she teased, and he eyed her wickedly.

“Are you jealous, Swift? Who did you end up going out tonight with anyway?”

Taylor nodded her head over to where Martin was sitting, and Joe’s smile carefully turned into a frown.

“Safe choice as well,” he began, picking up two bags of popcorn. “Martin is a great guy, really. He’s nice and manageable…he reminds me of my grand mum honestly. Maybe not the best choice for a spitfire like you though.”

“Sometimes, people can surprise you. Naturally, you’d expect us to be most compatible because people have this wrong interpretation of hatred and sexual chemistry.”

“Mhm,” he mumbled, wrapping his hand around her waist. “Sometimes, it’s the right interpretation. There’s no one I’d rather make love to right now than you.”

She froze, making sure he couldn’t see her red cheeks.

“I’m just another challenge to you, Joe. You only want me because you can’t have me.”

“That’s not true, love. I want you for so many reasons that I’ve lost track of them all.”

She glanced around, and surely enough, Martin was looking for her.

“Show me the real you, Joe Alwyn. I don’t want the playboy popular guy or the soulful indie singer. Maybe that’s what makes you and Martin so different. All I know about you is that you want to get into my pants.”

Joe froze, and Taylor walked away. When she returned to Martin, she found Joe’s eyes still locked on her. Snuggling close into Martin’s shoulder, she clasped his waist tightly and knew how jealous this would make Joe. At the end of the night, once the movie was over, Taylor turned to Joe. Despite being engaged in a liplock with Janet, every time that he would come up for air, he would glance over at her. She anticipated this, so that when he separated from Janet as the credits rolled, Taylor kissed Martin. It took him by surprise, but he reciprocated immediately, and she felt the gentle touch of his lips against hers. It was nice and sweet, but it was not the passion she had desired for her whole life. Taylor began to realize that maybe passion wasn’t the most important ingredient in relationships. She had all the passion in the world with Joe, but even she could predict the eventual downfall of that relationship.

Martin walked her back home, and Taylor fell asleep thinking about that night. The only problem was that she wasn’t thinking about the way Martin’s lips felt against her; she was thinking of the way Joe’s fingers felt around her waist.

The next day, Rebecca told Taylor about a party at someone’s flat. Although everyone was going, Taylor decided to stay in for the night. Rebecca invited her over to her mansion of a house, and the girls decided to make it a movie/game night. The girls tied their hair back, threw on some sweatpants, and proceeded to play Monopoly with The Notebook playing in the background. They ordered a pizza, and eventually, Taylor was not only sans makeup but she also had greasy fingers and a competitive look on her face when Joe stumbled in.

“Well, well, well, what do we have here?”

“Joseph, if you even think about taking a picture of us like this, I will kick your arse all the way to America. Right, Tay?”

Taylor giggled at Rebecca’s idea of a joke, but she acquiesced.

“You look all dressed up,” she admitted, eyeing him slowly.

He was wearing a white button-up shirt that showed off his tanned biceps, and his jeans fit him perfectly. Taylor gazed at him, amazed at how put together he looked. He always looked so put together. Within seconds, she caught a whiff of his cologne, and it smelled intoxicating. When she made eye contact with him, she found him smirking back at her.

“You’ve chosen a night of pizza and games over a night of drinking and dancing?”

Taylor nodded triumphantly.

“I’m impressed, Swift. You’re my type of girl.”

At that moment, Joe reached for his cell phone, calling someone.

“Sorry, love. I’ve decided to spend a night in tonight. Enjoy the festivities,” he said playfully, and Taylor knew he had called Janet.

“You know, if you expect to win this challenge, you can’t cancel on your girlfriend,” Taylor admitted, and Rebecca groaned in disgust.

“I can’t believe you actually made a bet with him, Taylor. At any given time, he has about ten ongoing bets, each one more disgusting than the next.”

“Becks, I think Taylor is old enough to make her own decisions. If she decides to fall for a gambler like me, who can blame her?”

Both girls groaned in disgust, and Joe chuckled.

“So who’s winning?”

He took a seat next to Taylor, throwing his cell phone on the sofa behind them. She couldn’t deny how attractive it was that he didn’t need to be glued to his phone at all times. Downing a slice of pepperoni pizza in a few bites, Joe managed to catch up to both girls, despite their pleas that he had cheated. Before Taylor’s last move, which she was positive would ensure her victory, Joe began to speak.

“You know, it’s scary how rigged these games can be.”

“You’re just mad because Taylor’s going to win,” Rebecca stated.

“Yeah, Joe. Don’t be a sore loser.”

“All it takes is one wrong move by the victor, and they are the victor no more. Sometimes, it can even be something that happens to the victor,” he stated, emphasizing the “to.”

At that moment, Joe lunged for Taylor’s abdomen and began to tickle her. In her fit of giggles, she knocked over the game board, and Joe chuckled in victory. She clutched her abdomen in defense, but Joe broke through every defense with his nimble fingers. After she had surrendered in defeat, Joe began to clean up their mess while Rebecca yawned.

“I’d walk you out, Tay, but I think I may collapse from exhaustion,” she said, barely able to stand up straight.

“It’s fine. I’ll help Joe clean up, and then I’ll find my way out of this maze,” she muttered, gesturing to the large, mostly vacant house.

After Rebecca left, they spent a few minutes in silence cleaning up. Eventually, Joe broke the silence.

“We can clean our heads off, and my parents still won’t notice anything,” he joked, but Taylor could feel there was something deeper to this particular joke.

“How often are they home?”

“Less often than is optimal for two children in dire need of parental supervision. Becks and I have experimented with all kinds of nannies, but nothing beats the real thing,” he said sadly.

“My dad’s hardly around too. He’s always working or golfing or anything to avoid spending any time with me.”

“I’m sorry, love.”

“If your parents knew what amazing kids they had, they would be here in a heartbeat. Parents are weird like that, I guess.”

“Can I show you something?” Joe questioned, and Taylor reluctantly nodded.

He reached for her hand, and she knew that she shouldn’t take it, but she did. Wrapping her right hand in his left, Joe led her outside to a large tree house perched in their backyard. He led her up the wooden ladder until they were finally in the dimly lit room. To her right, Taylor spotted pictures and pictures of Joe and his friends, Joe and Rebecca, and Joe with multiple strange women who she now knew were his many nannies. To her left, she found a shoddily made bed, a desk, and a shelf filled with different kinds of trophies, awards, and ribbons.

“You won all of these?” She asked, separating from him to run her hands over his achievements. 1st place in a local Karate championship. 1st place in the school spelling bee. Most Likely to Become Prime Minister on a ribbon. Class Clown on a medal. High grades in all of his classes. 1st place in a school music competition.

“You’re sort of amazing at everything,” she whispered, and she turned to find him with his hands in his jeans pockets watching her. “Now I know where the cockiness comes from.”

He chuckled behind her, moving closer.

“I tried everything. I told my parents when I was picking up a new hobby or if I got the highest grades on an exam because I just wanted them to be there, you know? They showed up the first few times, but then they just stopped. When I did well, they didn’t notice.”

“So you tried being bad?” She teased, and he chuckled once more.

“Something like that. I got suspended a few times, and they needed a parent to come and sign me out. Eventually, they managed to maneuver the system. They gave my fucking nannies parental supervision to sign me out just so they wouldn’t have to show their faces.”

Taylor paused, turning to face Joe. His head was tilted to the floor, his eyes growing sadder with each passing second. She saw him kick at the floor, even though there was nothing there.

“Joe…your parents are idiots,” she muttered, reaching for his chin.

She lifted his head to face her, smiling at him.

“So what if they’ll never realize how caring and selfless their children are? You’ll always have someone who won’t hesitate to scream that from the rooftops. I can do it right now if you want me to,” she said, moving toward the door.

“No, no,” he said, laughing. “I don’t need my neighbors to know about how awesome I am. They catch a glimpse every day.”

“How do you do that?” She asked, brushing a strand of hair behind her ear. “How do you jump from gut-wrenchingly honest to this persona so quickly?”

“Years of practice, I guess,” he admitted, eyeing her. “It’s a defense mechanism, Taylor. I can’t help the way I am.”

“I know,” she whispered gingerly. “After my mom abandoned my dad and me, I learned all about coping. It was the worst time of my life.”

“Did you ever find out why she left?”

There was a look of genuine concern on his face.

“My dad said she wasn’t ready to be a mom. I think that’s a cheap excuse. I think my dad resented me a little bit after that because I was the reason he lost the love of his life.”

“Bullshit. You’re supposed to be the love of his life. You’re his damn child, for God’s sake,” Joe said angrily.

“I think our parents are just really messed up, and I don’t think they deserved to have children at all. You know, I didn’t need a huge house or a new car every year or anything like that. I’d give anything for just one night watching TV or making dinner or…it’s stupid, I know.”

“It’s not,” Joe muttered, reaching for her hand. “It’s what you deserve at the least. You’re amazing, Taylor.”

They held hands for about a minute, and Taylor scanned the tree house.

“How many times have you slept out here?”

“A few. I did it once during a thunderstorm with Becks, and it was the funniest thing. Our nanny couldn’t find us and started screaming our names. Eventually, when she found us, she laughed it off though.”

Taylor yawned, apologizing.

“Sleep over,” Joe said, motioning toward the bed. “I’ll take the floor. You’re too tired to go home right now.”

She paused, but acquiesced once she fell onto the mattress. They continued talking for the rest of the night, and Taylor fell asleep somewhere in the middle of a conversation.

#alwyn vs. swift #taylor and joe #taylor and joe fanfiction #taylor swift #joe alwyn

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sometimesalwaysmusic · 8 years ago

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GALAPAGOS

For this interview we spoke with Adam Ferris (AF, above centre) and Matthew Wood (MW, above left) of new local indie band Galapagos. Check out their Facebook and Soundcloud pages to give their new tunes a spin, and see them live on Friday, March 24 as their introduce their new drummer, Tyler Johnston (above right)!

VITALS

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/galapagos613/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/galapagos613/

Soundcloud: https://soundcloud.com/galapagos613

Latest release: Lungs (Single, February 2017)

Upcoming shows: March 24, 2017 - The Nude Dogs, Fire Antlers & Galapagos. 8PM. $7. Pressed Cafe, Ottawa ON. May 13, 2017 - Heart Beach, Galapagos, + more TBD. 8PM. Bar Robo, Ottawa, ON.

SA: How did Galapagos start as a band, and how did you come up with the name? AF: Matt and I had always talked about getting together to work on music. Our schedules for whatever reason never matched up for us to do that until the fall of 2015. This was when my last project (Waxing Moon) stopped playing shows and Matt was free from his last band (Idle Lie). We finally got together and started working on some songs I had been working on. The sound of Matt’s guitar playing really brought my simple songs to life. It was exciting and comfortable right off the bat. We played under a few names for some open mics including Aeros and then Mosey. We then realized that it sounded too much like local band Mosely. The name Galapagos comes from the name of one of my favourite Smashing Pumpkins songs on Mellon Collie and the Infinite Sadness. I loved the name. My partner at the time thought the name Galapagos sounded great for a band and then Matt loved it too. I think it sounds fun and exotic. It sounds like a place where things evolve. MW: A lot of what Adam was writing reminded me of a few bands back in Indiana (Chaste By Bears, Prayer Breakfast, Husband&Wife). It had this Midwest feel to the songs with a nice poppy hook to it. When I was listening to his music, I immediately had ideas for complementary parts to add to it.

SA: Who are your biggest influences, musically or otherwise? AF: Musically speaking I am mostly influenced by things from my teen years like Smashing Pumpkins, Oasis, and Hayden. In more recent years I have been a huge fan of acts like Catfish and the Bottlemen, Deer Tick and Ryan Adams. These bands mostly influenced me with the sincerity in their lyrics. As a Pisces, I enjoy wearing my heart on my sleeve. So the songs are influenced by my current experiences. Part of that is my continuing my journey through personal growth. Some of these awarenesses and struggles come up in the songs. I lean more towards reflective and emotional lyrical content while others are just straight-forward and direct. MW: Jonny Greenwood (Radiohead) due to his innovative guitar style while finding amazing ways to combine traditional electric guitar with digital manipulation. Nick Drake for his somber chords, his tragic story, and his powerful influence for many artists. Sun Kil Moon’s Mark Kozelek for his honest lyrics and melancholy themes. Also, because he’s a fellow Midwesterner.

SA: Thus far in your career, what has been your biggest success? MW: The biggest success so far was just forming this band. It took a long time for us to get together and see what we could add to one another’s songs. Once we set aside the time to look at everything, we started to create music we were proud of and loved. AF: I'd have to say the fact that we haven't rushed this process. We have let the process guide us and lead us to where we are supposed to go. It's been challenging at times but rewarding overall.

SA: On the other hand, what is the biggest challenge you have faced, and how have you dealt with it? AF: For me it has been balancing my wants musically with the reality of growing up. How much money and time can I spend on this? Who wants to commit to this as much as I do? I’ve always preferred the camaraderie of the band experience and having space for some solo work on the side. It allows flexibility for the different songs I write. Sometimes a song will work better on my own than as a part of a group and vice versa. For me, finding people I can trust and get along well with has been difficult. Luckily, Matt and I get along great outside of the band context and I fully trust him musically. I have had too many musical projects start strong and then putter out. I am hoping that this isn’t the case with Galapagos. With this project I have approached it with patience. I haven’t forced a time frame on things or creating a particular sound. We have let it be what it needs to be. We are allowing Galapagos the space to breathe and grow and evolve. MW: The biggest challenge has been to break out of my usual rhythms and chords and try to learn more for guitar and adding texture to the music. There are times I feel everything I do is derivative of something I’ve done in the past and this either frustrates me, or pushes me to do something new.

SA: How do you approach the song-writing process? MW: Adam usually brings in some snippets of music or a full song. Once we hear it, Tyler and I play over top and see what we can add. AF: It ends up being a totally collaborative effort with each member bringing their own unique ideas and influences to the songs. It helps the songs grow into something that it didn’t really sound like when I first brought it to the band. There is something really special about creating music with other people that you don’t get when one person runs the whole operation. It’s exciting process for us and I think we really enjoy playing together.

SA: What are your thoughts on the Ottawa music scene? MW: It’s been blossoming so much the past 5 years. Apart from the loss of Mugshots, The Daily Grind, and Folklore Centre in Old Ottawa South, the Ottawa scene has been very proactive in building up the economic and communal presence it needs to become a more prominent cultural hub in Canada. AF: I really hope that the scene continues to grow. There is a great diversity amongst the acts and there is not an evening you can’t go out and see great live talent for a great price. This evening alone, Matt and I can’t decide between going to see a show at Live on Elgin or at Irene’s.

SA: On your Facebook page, I've seen reference to Garage Folk as a genre for your sound. Why 'Garage Folk' and did you consciously set out to make a certain style of music, or did it happen more organically? AF: I don’t think we started off with any idea of where we wanted to go. We just wanted to write and play. With Matt and I, it has always been very organic for both our friendship and creatively speaking. When we were playing as a duo, the sound came out pretty naturally. We did however, always picture it including drums or how he would add all these guitar dynamics when we recorded them. When Tyler joined the group, we decided to abandon our old songs and to start writing new ones. We were all in on that idea and I think it has helped bring us together as a band. With two electric guitars now, our sound is slightly heavier. Hence the gritty pop label we have given ourselves on our web pages. MW: We’ve had a nice gritty element to our music so the genre of Garage Folk seemed apt. We also dabble a little bit in folk, shoegaze, poppy emo songs, and anything that comes to mind.

SA: You guys posted a video of a new song called Lungs on your social media pages. How has the song-writing process been going, and how will you narrow down what songs to include on a release? AF: As of right now we have a full set of original songs. I love having this many songs so we don’t have to cut any from a set list. I obviously have favourites but I hate having to cut songs for setlists. It’s like deciding which child doesn’t get to eat. The songwriting process has been a real collaborative effort in this new formation of the band. As a result we have three or four songs I think we all agree that we want to record first. There is also one song that we are planning to never record but will play at every show. I don’t want to give away any surprises but if you want to hear this song, come on out to Pressed on March 24th. MW: The process has been chugging along at a nice pace. As of right now, we’ve been working on just tightening up our current music for future shows and recording sessions. I’m excited to put those songs out to public scrutiny and also start making new songs again.

SA: If you could send out some love to some local musicians you have been enjoying recently, or who are perhaps even influences, who would they be? AF: I would like to give a shout out to our good friend Travis and his band Fire Antlers. I remember playing a solo show with Travis about three years ago at the old Cafe Luneta. He was just starting out this new project. At this point it just him, his guitar and a drum machine. Since then he has evolved his sound to incorporate a full band. His songs are really groovy and it has been fun seeing him rearrange his old songs as his band takes on new shapes. Just the other week at the Rainbow, his band was comprised of him and his guitar, a new drum machine, a second guitarist and a keyboardist. It's always a good time at a Fire Antlers show. His tunes are solid and you can’t help but want to move while listening. MW: Jamieson MacKay from Shadowhand and How Far To Mexico. He has been immensely involved in Ottawa's music scene playing lots of shows with his bands as well as some solo performances. He's made a great name for himself and his creative output is phenomenal. Also, Fet.Nat and the label E-Tron Records is the reason I stayed in Ottawa/Gatineau music scene in the first place. The entire collective is the most inspiring act in the area.

SA: Lastly, what’s in store for Galapagos in 2017 and onwards? MW: We’re gearing up to record an EP and we’ve done some submissions for future shows. It’ll be an exciting year for us. AF: I hope to be playing more shows and getting tighter as a unit. Finding a bassist would also be a priority at some point I would think as well. Oh and of course having more people hear our songs.

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notbrianeno · 5 years ago

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#290: Mew - Frengers

There’s a chicken-and-egg situation with Scandinavian music (yeah, sorry, get ready for some terrible and terribly broad regional generalisations, if not outright stereotypes), or at least that portion of it that reaches the English-speaking world. Or, well, the primarily- and often-only-English-speaking world. Most Scandinavians speak English very well; the difference being that most countries that speak English as a primary or official language are reluctant to make a significant effort to teach their young any other languages with any consistency or proficiency. Je m’appelle Tom, et j’habite dans Chicago.

It’s frustrating; I can’t imagine, say, Built To Spill or Tame Impala writing a song as powerful and rich in imagery as Her Voice Is Beyond Her Years in Danish, yet we insist that our breakthrough Scandi-Nordic bands have either perfect English diction, or else blast us with glossolalic gibberish or impenetrable death growls...

I’m drifting; this wasn’t going to be about language, but about atmosphere. Here’s the chicken: Anglophone expectations of Nordic/North-eastern-Atlantic music to be deeply atmospheric, reflecting dark, misty mornings, endless dusk, and either absolute shitloads of trees or an unsettling, utter absence of any foliage larger than a few hardy colonies of moss. Here’s the egg: a lot of that music is, well, a good reflection of absolutely that environment. Of course, it feels like a stretch to lump Sigur Rós, Dimmu Borgir, and Of Monsters And Men into any kind of shared bucket (also vaguely ironic, potentially insensitive to harp on Icelandic music in a piece about a Danish band) BUT the common atmospheric thread prevails. My argument for extreme metal as a member of the ambient family of genres will wait for another time, but don’t deny that it makes sense. Drop the playback volume down a little, and black metal becomes a textural experience rather than a purely visceral one.

There’s a crack in the egg, of course, it is filled with all the pop, angular indie (like, say, Mew’s later work when they started hanging out with J Mascis), jazz, folk, hip hop and other genres that are brewing in those frosty locales just as much as anywhere else because we have the internet, we’re human, we love music, we love a variety of music, and it’s reductive and arrogant to assume a region (of several distinct countries with intertwined but independent histories, cultures, hopes and fears and shames) will produce a single kind of music for global consumption.

In summary, I wonder how much we assume Scandinavian music to be atmospheric and moody is to do with our expectations, and just how dominant that sound is in the region’s music scenes as a whole. I sometimes need to remind myself to stay on track because I get excited about the opportunity to explore my thoughts about music and drift off onto other tracks; it’s like trying to clean out an attic or a storage locker, you get distracted by something shiny that you loved for many years, many years ago, and you lose hours to the re-examination of the Thing, and the Person that you were when the Thing was in your life, and the Person you are now, and how the Thing relates to this newer version of the Person, and before you know it, the sun is creeping down past the skylight and you’ve only made the mess worse, and you clamber back down the ladder with a lot of complicated thoughts that are in no way conducive to getting shit done, so you spend the rest of the night sitting on a chair from your childhood, turning the Thing over and over in your hands and thinking about what it means, if it means anything, and whether it’s OK for it to mean nothing at all any more.

Frengers is not like that at all; it’s no relic to be revisited but a living part of my cultural psyche. This is an album that I’ve been playing consistently for, Jesus, almost seventeen years. June 2003, me and Paul Harvey (my teenage friend, not the radio guy) took a train to Nottingham to see OK Go. Mew were opening, which was an utterly bizarre pairing, but one I was glad to see. I knew nothing about them, and I have never seen an opener so truly mind-blowing and powerful before or since. Just listen to the damn album. OK Go were also great, but a different kind of thing. They covered Toto’s Hold The Line, which was great. The show was at The Rescue Rooms, where I also saw Death Cab For Cutie that same year. We missed the last train and had to get a bus back to Loughborough that took twice as long. I had a nice night with a good friend who I haven’t spoken to in too long. I should send Paul a message.

But Mew. I haunted The Left-Legged Pineapple* for weeks until they got in a copy of the Mew album, and it has been a fixture in my ears ever since then, almost exclusively between November and March. It will always be my going-for-a-walk-in-the-first-snow-of-the-season album, which if I’m being honest probably means it’s as close to my favourite album as I could ever settle on. It’s atmospheric, but it’s dynamic, there’s a good variety of tempos to keep it interesting, but not enough to be tiring or feel inconsistent or like more of a collage than a fine oil on canvas. There is loneliness and empathy in the lyrics. There is a Christmas song that feels OK to play before December. And it is bookended by what I believe to be both the best opening and best closing songs of any album, Born To Run included. It’s frankly unfair to every other band that they monopolise both ends of the bookshelf with such classics. I am a person who believes that the album, being a collection of interrelated songs no longer than 74 minutes in total (sorry, I’m a child of the CD age) but ideally as close to exactly 45 minutes as possible (i.e. to fit on one side of a standard audio cassette tape, so you can pair it with another thematically-appropriate album on side 2), is the absolute ideal art form. I will defend it from every angle against your Picassos, your Swan Lakes, your Hamiltons, your Lascaux cave paintings, your Moby Dicks, your Whitman anthologies and all the damn Shakespeare you can cram into a paper brick. A flat lump of plastic with minute grooves carved into a spiral, or a hand-span mirror digitally encoded with microscopic pips, or a magnetically-charged ribbon on a fragile, transparent spool, or nothing with any physical presence at all, a packet of data sent from a server through the air to a slab in your pocket and thence to an artificial vibrating membrane adjacent to the natural vibrating membrane of your inner ear... that’s the good shit, my friends.

Where was I? oh, right. Mew. Albums. I’ve been lucky enough to see a few of my favourite albums performed in full. Without shame, and in total disrespect of an artists’ recent output, I love the anniversary album tour gimmick. The best format for a live show is the “an evening with...” format. You play an album in full, then you play a greatest hits set from the rest of your catalog. Perfect. A couple of these full album shows stand out to me. Okkervil River on the 10th anniversary of Black Sheep Boy - pure catharsis to hear the songs of an album I loved, I lived by for many months, and which at the time I no longer needed in my life. It felt like closure, victory, escape, somehow. That same year, I saw the Manic Street Preachers doing The Holy Bible in full (the twentieth anniversary tour bleeding into the twenty-first anniversary). This was a different kind of feeling; just as with Black Sheep Boy, this was an album I needed and spent years walking to its tempos, but it felt so far away, so deep in the past that I felt nothing hearing the songs live. I was an entirely different person back then, whereas I guess during the period where Black Sheep Boy was my beacon, I was just a worse version of who I am now, so there was something relatable.

In 2018, I got to see Mew performing Frengers in full for its fifteen anniversary. They opened with a mix of songs from other albums, then took a break and came back for Frengers, which was the perfect move because how could you possibly come back to the stage after the final notes of Comforting Sounds have died out? Unlike Okkervil River, unlike the Manics, this show was as thrilling, relevant and epochal as the first time I heard these songs in a red-lit Nottingham dive.

*at the time, one of two great independent record shops in Loughborough, the other being Castle Records, both long gone, sadly; I’ll have to write about them both sometime. Expect a story about Castle when I get into some other R.E.M. albums, and Left Legged when the randomiser turns up some of my Manic Street Preachers singles

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papermoth-bird-blog · 6 years ago

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Austin: Tan lines in Texas (and an introduction to an Ashram in Arizona)

(okay, so I’ll note I’m actually writing this from Arizona, but the last few days have been a blur & it was hard to find time to write. Love to whoever is reading this.)

Austin was a great idea. Again, would have been made easier if I had a car, but it’s a good thing I made friends here. Or I should say- It’s a good thing my friends hooked me up with their friends that still live in Austin (particularly Kyle!)

Still been eating really good food. And by that, I mean in large part American comfort food. I have fully become addicted to tacos and have at least one a day.. (okay yeah, I’ve always had a burrito problem). I’ve pretty much conquered/eaten all the southern/tex-mex/austin staples. On top of that I had that I had the best bowl of Ramen I’ve ever had. I’ve also had a lot of juice/smoothies.. cause they love that here, for whatever reason. The sun came out & lifted my spirits tremendously. I spent so much time ‘playing’ outside. Barton creek is a really beautiful water body- Mediterranean blue! Right in the middle of the city. I’m glad that I started a morning pilgrimage to Zilker’s park to have tree-time. Some of my best memories from Austin were made there.

Kyle’s friend Marlon (who performs under the name Tasi) invited me out to a kinda institution/dive venue (a la Gus’ Pub but much bigger) to watch some people perform who were in the local indie scene.Turns out, one of the performer’s was Charlie from Hovvdy- a band I’d seen play earlier in the week. That was a really great night out. I feel like I was finally around people that reminded me of my friends back home- musicians, leftys, artists. It was really nice chatting to them all & making friends. It was grounding at a time that I felt a little more adrift. Marlon was super kind & totally hooked me up with a bunch of art shows & music shows for the rest of the week- not to mention introduced me to a lot of cool people. I told him I’d repay the favour if he ever came up to Canada- and I hope he takes me up on it (I feel like he’s the type to). I also made friend’s with the bartender that night because apparently I am the doppleganger of her childhood best friend Katie. She even showed me pictures... it was a little weird, we did look oddly similar. If anything, it just made me feel that string-like guide of strange circumstances that has lead me along this wandering journey. So I kinda nodded my head instead of getting actually weirded out. Stranger and stranger everyday- and so, less strange overall. ‘Tis the life of a witch, I suppose.

The following evening was the BIG night I’d been awaiting since I started this trip- I went to see Jonathan Richman. It was a short set, which, not gonna lie, induced some skepticism. HOLY MOLY it was a great show. It filled me with so much joy and I danced through the whole set all by myself. He was so silly & playful- which made for a really engaging & flowing performance. Despite the overtone of hipstery-indifference, he pulled a lot of audience participation out of the crowd. We worshipped the sun together & sang praises for the summer feeling that arrived in Austin earlier that day. He also played a couple of his older hits (which I didn’t except, cause I was told he didn’t really play those anymore). The whole time there was this one guy full-fan-girling next to me. I kinda think he was freaking Jojo out. I’d probably have been weirded out to. By virtue of us being right beside each other in the front row, it meant that that Jojo was looking at me in the eyes (and boobs) all night. Which felt kinda weird, but kinda special. (haha). He also pranced around the stage with maracas which put me in a good mood. Strangely enough, he wasn’t the only one to whip out the maracas. Later on that night, I went to see another country band. The lead singer was decked out in Rhinestone Cowboy apparel. Sure enough, he whipped out the maracas eventually too. I guess something is in the air- mostly Maracas.

My final day in Austin reached a high of 31 degrees. I walked around in shorts and a bathing suit all day- whispering to myself reminders that it was february. It put a lightness in my heart. I skipped around town, eating my favourite foods & got ice cream. I met up with a friend too & went swimming. We basked in the sun & talked about the future & travel. He just came back from hiking the Appalachian trail (which took 6 months). I quizzed him endlessly about it. It certainly sounds intimidating, but incredibly rewarding. It’s definitely something that’s doggy-eared on my travel wishlist. I mean- walking from Georgia to Maine! Can you imagine!! All throughout some of the most beautiful sections of mountains the world has to offer. Reading ‘Wild’ has certainly been encouraging me along this thought plain too.

Later that night I went to a friend’s birthday party at a really boogie secret bar. I felt out of place, cause I was wearing cut off jean shorts & a ripped t-shirt & a bandana- definitely not exactly the vibe. It was a good time anyway & all the waiters had cute Irish Accents. Later in the night Brandon & I took off to go to another party across town, after picking up some more of his friends. I was flying to Pheonix the next day & mentally preparing myself for Ashram life. It felt a little odd to be around so many people doing coke- but if anything, it just confirmed that I feel really good about staying sober & living my life on the path I am travelling on. All the people there knew each other from high school (mostly Anderson high... which if I’m not mistaken is the high school in Dazed & Confused). It definitely brought me back to high school in a way- not that the conversations were particularly high school like (well maybe), but more so reminded me how I felt in high school. That just because I could get along with everybody & find things to talk about, doesn’t mean they are “my people”. I was just filled with pangs of gratitude for the people I have back home that make me feel so fulfilled & supported & loved wholly. It makes it easy to be away & explore knowing that.

In some ways, I’ve seen flashes of every version of myself I’ve ever been. I’ve had moments that reminded me of my childhood. I’ve had moments reminding me of my adolescence. And along the way- I’ve found ways to make peace with the trouble some of those memories bring to me. Soothing me, teaching me, giving me room to grow. It’s like I’ve been repotted- I’m going through the lessons I was faced with before, but this time, I have many more tools & experiences to support me through them. It’s helped me spark a bit of excitement to spend time in Ontario again.

The next morning, Brandon drove me to the airport. I’m so grateful to him for doing that too- because we slept in & I wouldn’t have had enough time if I had to take an uber. I tumbled high-speed through the airport & next thing I knew I was in Phoenix. (okay, there was a weird bit about the lady at TSA getting mad at me & patting me down because she didn’t like how many notes I had shoved in my overall’s pockets. I didn’t get it really. I looked more like a toddler that a smuggler, but whatever). My jaw practically hit the floor when I saw the landscape I dropped into. Such a big sky! and so blue! And mountain in the distance- that looked more like hardend sand dunes. The cactus’s are huge & fill the landscape, instead of an abundance of trees. It made me regret taking the plane, instead of the bus. Despite what everyone was saying, I really think I would have loved it. Now I just know I will have to trust my own feelings ever-forward when it comes to those things.

----------------------------------------------------

Sedona, too, is more beautiful than I could have expected. I mean, I’ve seen pictures of course, but seeing the monuments & their contrast with space & sky is something else. I took this huge breath here that I feel like I’d been holding for months & months. I can tell I have work to do here. Routine to entangle in, feelings to purge. I will be here for two or three weeks- doing yoga & meditation & chanting everyday. I can already feel the shift in me. (and in some ways, a shift back to a way I was in the past too). Being part of a land co-op certainly does allow for a lot of outdoor work & collaborative living. I do love all that, and it definitely exists as a main part of the ashram. There is a different feeling here, though. Definitely less silly. It’s full of intention. I don’t know how to explain it right now- except it’s like your spirit makes eye contact with everyone else’s spirit. You can’t hide from your weaknesses. It requires honesty & commitment to make life work here. I’ve always been ready for that- but you don’t find too many places (especially in modern cities) that allows you to live that way. My body, too, is being challenged. Everyone here is a relatively devout yogi (karmic & asana). I myself have to catch up in ways. I already have the chants stuck in my head as I work in the garden.

One think I’ve found challenging so far is what I am doing for my Karma Yoga practice. Rukmini can be a little nit-picky (although I know she’s working on that). She is also taking over for Swamiji while he is away, which I realize has it’s own stresses. She hopes that I will help her in the kitchen and help her with “momma chores”. The thought of that is challenging for me, however, because I’ve never been particularly inclined towards those things. Gopala is leaving the ashram soon. He has done a lot of the cooking & I think she really wants me to help with that..... my ultimate challenge. I mean, I told her I love farm work and building projects. Dharmagan & Charles are building a little temple by the bar. Really, I am craving to work on that. I think, Rukmini would prefer me to work with her, though. We did have a special moment earlier in which we were both totally geeking out about plants and gardening. That felt really nice. I’ve been thinking a lot about “my path” of course. I still feel intentional about doing some sort of healing practice. In clearing away all my obligations, I have thought every morning “in a perfect world, what would you do with this day). In almost all my answers, it has something to do with being outside with plant friends & sharing the gifts of plant medicines with my dearest people friends. I do really want to be a farmer- but in nova scotia that is certainly hard to make your full income. I love the idea of doing massage to fill out the rest of my time (as I’ve discussed for years), but it doesn’t spark the same immediate joy that plants do. I think it would still be something I’d be good at though & would open so many doors for me. (anyways, I digress... and most of my good friends have heard me repeat this conversation over and over again).

I can’t help but feel doubted (which is an ultimate pet peeve of mine) in areas that are a little more physical or perhaps typically male roles. She did allow me to help her garden today. We planted Onions & lilies & garlic as flakes of snow fell from the sky. It’s about 5 degrees- which for me, feels reasonable to be working outside. Everyone else keeps mentioning “THE COLD!” I just smile to myself, because it’s familiar to me & I love being outside. It did mean that Gopala brought me a big mug of Cocao while I planted. Which was kind and really thoughtful.

Saraswati is the patron goddess of this ashram. Her colour is yellow (my favourite) and she is the goddess of wisdom & knowledge. She is actually one of my favourite Hindu Gods- so it was a happy surprise when I found that out. The library, where her shrine is, is beautiful & filled with yellow & gold. It’s a very happy place to be. All the book titles have filled me with a thirst to read as much as I can. Rukmini gave me a book about Peace Pilgrim. On my first day I sat down by the river with my feel sunk into the mud (next to the many raccoon paw prints) and read in the tree for a few hours. Peace Pilgrim is a favourite of the Swami here. He, like Peace Pilgrim, also journeyed around America, relying on faith & the kindness of strangers to help him on his way. I am looking forward to meeting him. Mare has told me wonderful things about him (mostly that he reminds her a lot of Dumbledore-- which is probably the highest praise any teacher could get). He arrives tomorrow- so I’m sure there will once again be another shift in energy. We’ve gotten a little lackadaisical with the timing of the schedule. I’ve heard Swami keep the household a little strict- but I suppose you have to when there is a bunch of people in & out (in addition to it being a serious spiritual centre).

This is a small Ashram- with only about 7 of us here now. It is less than a year old, however, so it is still being established in many ways. The other ashrams have 50, maybe even 100 people living there. I feel good about this ashram though. Especially when it comes to learning, I feel like it will be more effective in a small group. Although I suppose larger ones would be nice because there would be lots of people to work with & talk to. It feels right to be in this one though.

There was a girl who left the day before I arrived & her name was also Zoe. Apparently there was some confusion because we had the same name. I personally am just taking it as another sign that I’m supposed to be here. Something that I didn’t really expect is that I am feeling a lot of gratitude for my name- Which means life. There has been a lot of chants exploring that theme- being alive. I guess that could be expected, but it’s been standing out to me. My thoughts keep circling back to that mysterious phrase that lead me to this journey on the first place “go to New Orleans to learn about death”. I think I let a lot of things die when I chose to leave Halifax. There was death in that, surely. In a re:birthing context. I think what I learned most is that life exists concurrently with death.

I struggle quite a bit still with thoughts of Ellie’s death. I found myself crying unexpectedly in Satsung yesterday, and then again when talking to Rukminiji. I find it hard to laugh and smile without it making me feel guilty in some way. As if keeping sadness close to my heart is penitence, or proof in someway that I loved her. New Orleans, certainly conjured the ideal of how deeply & brightly both the concepts of death & life can coexist. And so, still with thoughts & appreciation for death, I’ve been able to live a little more freely. Which is not something I thought I’d ever fully be able to move towards in sincerity. But I feel it. My prana is having the dust shaken off along this dessert journey. I am grateful for every moment of it- all the challenges & moments of peace that is being gifted to me.

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pycsrichmond-blog · 6 years ago

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Kung Pwede Lang

Richmond D. Gille

Movie review

For the background of the movie, Sana Dati is a 2013 Philippine romantic drama film written, directed, edited, and scored by Jerrold Tarog. Andrea (Lovi Poe) is to be married to former politician Robert (TJ Trinidad). The couple, along with friends and family, assembles at a hotel to do just that. But the arrival of videographer Dennis (Paulo Avelino) complicates matters. While ostensibly just asking harmless questions for the wedding video, Dennis has a hidden agenda that’s linked to Andrea’s past. And as the questions get more probing, and the day gets more hectic, it becomes unclear if Andrea is actually willing to go through with any of this. The film competed under the Directors Showcase sidebar of Cinemalaya 2013, and won Best Film and other technical awards at the festival's awards night.

On the plot of the story, it is filled with touches that are both romantic and taken from real life. It's all so beautifully done. Andrea lost the love of her life through death. Andrea gets engaged to another man, but has not truly moved on from her lost loved one. On her wedding day, the videographer was her deceased lover’s brother but she has no idea, but made her suspicious for how he reminded her of her old lover which makes it harder for her to go on with the marriage about to happen. But the twist is, she got engaged to another man only a few weeks after she lost her lover.

The characterizations and acting are wonderful. The main cast of this story is Lovi poe as Andrea , Tj Trinidad as Robert, Paulo Avelino as Dennis, and Benjamin Alves as Andrew. They are the ones who spiced up the movie, and the ones who perfectly act their roles in every scenes. I could only imagine how Andrea’s character was described to Poe but she understood it and it comes across exceptionally in the film. Trinidad as Robert, meanwhile, is nothing like the guy we know in love stories whom we cheer for to lose. The confusion he shows and the restraint thereafter adds to the intensity of this unconventional love triangle. The same can be said of Avelino whose mysterious role sets everything in motion. Stoic behind the camera, his Dennis is anything but as proven in flashbacks, displaying Avelino’s range as an actor who in this film has a longing for truth. I don’t want to give anything away but there’s a role dutifully played by Benjamin Alves that puts everything into perspective. He is involved in one scene that just truly breaks one’s heart. And there are other characters of course that are memorable despite of their bit part are important nonetheless and served as the icing on this well-baked film.

What I like about this film is its simplicity. I'm not saying it lacks depth or sophistication because it also has that. Sana Dati is a quiet beauty. Everything is natural. I really enjoyed this movie, particularly its brilliantly ambiguous ending. I enjoyed its realistic events and characters, and how it used a very true to life portrayal of grief. If there’s one thing that I didn’t enjoy, then it may as well be the flatness of most of the characters, who in were contextually interesting through their relationships and their actions in the scenes. The sets and cinematography is top notch. Some parts of the movie are shaky, but it is surprisingly good taken in most of the scenes even though it is shakily taken. The cinematography is a delight to the eyes and one could say it provides a contrast to the intended blur in the story’s theme. The music and lighting set the mood of the movie, a sad yet hopeful essence. You can definitely see the well thought out process of how the film was made to make you feel a certain way after watching it.

I think it is very important for films to be more realistic so that we will feel better about our lives that we know we are not alone because someone out there feels the same way. It is nice to know that not everything ends in a happy ending, but some do and it’s okay to experience that. For me, there is no permanent in this world except in change. But there is hope to start again even if you fall down, broken a million times, hurt. God is your hope, my hope, our hope in every obstacle we’re afraid of. God will give you strength to stand up and try again, and again. God always have plans for you. I learned that there is always hope waiting for us, and never giving up.

The movie is most likely watched by teenagers aged 16 years old and above, the ones who is broken or who have failed relationships, probably because many can relate. And also because it has a top notch purely visual level. It is a cleanly executed Filipino indie film. Among the local indies I had watched, I am going to say that this is the neatest in the technical standpoint. It is visually dazzling, intellectually stimulating, and emotionally connecting. Overall, I think this one unique Filipino film is worthy of our admiration and support. From this I’d like to give it a 5-star rating. Even it is an indie film, the movie touches lives and had a huge impact to people. So that’s why the movie achieved many awards.

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sonicawareness · 15 years ago

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Phil Herring’s Best Albums of 2016

Phil Herring is a close friend of Sonic Awareness and a concert aficionado, regularly attending 100+ concerts per year. He has listened to a large number of albums throughout the 2016, and we’re happy to have him provide a guest column: his personal picks for the 40 Best Albums of 2016!

Browse the full list below and check out the key tracks on Spotify!

40) BRIAN FALLON – Painkillers

After relentless touring and five records with his main act (The Gaslight Anthem), Brian Fallon steps out on his own with a collection of lovely mid-tempo roots-rock that establishes him as the singer-songwriter we always knew he was. While not quite as personal as the previous Gaslight Anthem record, Fallon allows himself to expand his sound. Fans of The Gaslight Anthem will still find plenty to enjoy but Painkillers is able to retain its own identity.

KEY TRACK: “Steve McQueen”

39) THE NAKED AND FAMOUS – Simple Forms

These Aussie electro-poppers always tend to have a few banging singles and then a bunch of so-so album tracks so it was nice to hear them to put together their first all killer no filler collection. The hook on “Laid Low” alone will ring in your head for days while elsewhere they strip their sound down to focus on vocal interplay between the two leads

KEY TRACK: “Laid Low”

38) CHAIRLIFT – Moth

Sadly this Brooklyn art-pop duo will be coming to an end next year but they really went out with a bang on this one. Their previous records tended to collapse under the weight of their own pretension so it’s nice to hear Chairlift (formerly most well known for their track “Bruises” featured in an iPod commercial) lightening up a bit and indulging in their pop fetishes that were only hinted at before.

KEY TRACK: ”Cha-Ching”

37) GROUPLOVE – Big Mess

Parenthood hasn’t softened indie-poppers Grouplove. They still are able to bring the ruckus to your local festival’s 4pm time slot. Grouplove is one of the last bands standing which can still readily be played on alternative radio and keep a straight face when referring to themselves as “alternative”. The vocal connection between husband and wife duo Christian Zucconi and Hannah Hooper continues to be leading anchor to this band’s sound. Big Mess also plays well because it avoids getting slowed down by too many mid-tempo anonymous numbers, a trend that many bands in this category fall into. As we go into a very uncertain 2017, Big Mess is a nice joyful break.

KEY TRACK: “Cannonball”

36) BEAR HANDS – You’ll Pay For This

Not totally indie, not totally retro, not totally electro-pop, not totally rock, Bear Hands refuses to sit into any sort of comfort zone. Led by unique instrumentation and singer Dylan Rau’s slacker-influencer vocals, every record these guys do sounds fairly different. Sure, you could probably draw some sort of comparisons to the likes of Passion Pit, Foster The People, etc. but that wouldn’t be telling the whole story. These guys have made their own brand of Brooklyn indie rock that thankfully isn’t indebted to all the passing trends the genre (and city) sees every few years. 2016 gave them their biggest single to date (“2AM”) but the whole record shows each of the band members bringing their biggest strengths to the table which results in their best record yet.

KEY TRACK: “Winner’s Circle”

35) DRIVE-BY TRUCKERS – American Band

There are still American rock and roll lifers in this world and Drive-By Truckers are one of the few who continue to, er, truck on year after year logging endless miles on the road and putting together and incredibly consistent catalog. No Drive-By Truckers record has ever been light subject-matter wise but American Band is likely their most somber and reflective album to date. No doubt inspired by the political landscape and racial tensions in America over the past few years, American Band contemplates exactly what it means to be a southern rock band during this unstable time. Patterson Hood and Mike Cooley have always been excellent story tellers and this record continues to see them evolving in their craft while pleasing their core.

KEY TRACK: “Ever South”

34) SLEIGH BELLS – Jessica Rabbit

Nothing about Sleigh Bells is ever subtle. Like Beach House in their approach (not sound), they continue to tweak and make small changes while still sonically assaulting the listener with gritty guitars and hard dance beats. This time around, the “rock” in their formula is less pronounced which leaves room for more pronounced melodies, beats and overall rhythmic pleasures. It makes for an overall lighter affair but since the songs still stick with you, Jessica Rabbit now makes them 4 for 4.

KEY TRACK: “Rule Number One”

33) DAUGHTER – Not To Disappear

British mope-rock has provided us with plenty of gloomy soundtracks for rainy days. Daughter proved to be one of the stronger candidates with their successful release, If You Leave in 2003. Touring the world a few times over hasn’t softened lead singer/first class mope Elena Tonra. She even wonders if she should “get a dog or something” at one point. If anything, Daughter’s second full length release sounds even more brooding and morose than the first! Years of playing live will beef up anyone’s sound and Daughter doesn’t resist adding a bit more bombast and weight to their post-punk bitter neon-folk. There are still plenty of dark tones and delay pedals present to please fans of the first while giving this young band a whole new sheen. It might sound sad but there’s plenty of joy to be found when listening.

KEY TRACK: “Alone/With You”

32) THRICE – To Be Everywhere Is To Be Nowhere

After going on hiatus back in 2012, Thrice were never actually gone for that long. They bounced back in 2015 playing a slew of festivals while putting together ideas for their 9th proper studio album. The band members, now in their mid-30’s, have put together a fine collection of post-post-hardcore. No longer infatuated will fast tempos and rifts, To Be Everywhere Is to Be Nowhere is one of their most straightforward collection of songs. There’s a new sense of comfort in the music which, to some, might indicate the band is on auto-pilot but Thrice sounds perfectly comfortable streamlining their ambitions in an effort to make a record that pleases both them and their dedicated fan base.

KEY TRACK: “Wake Up”

31) THE HUNNA – 100

Rock and Roll’s true death happened about five years ago at this point but leave it to the UK to still export some excellent guitar-based pop year after year. The Hunna may never get to play a venue bigger than Irving Plaza but their adolescent charm still gets me every time. Here’s hoping that bands like this still continue to exist even after the idea of rock stardom is completely impossible

KEY TRACK: “You and Me”

30) WET – Don’t You

I have no idea why I was so turned off to R&B in the mid-90’s yet when there’s a bunch of pasty white folks from Brooklyn who make it I’m all ears in 2016. There’s a bigger discussion to be had about that topic but in the meantime, Wet’s debut record is a totally competent and fulfilling update to the indie/r&b fusion we’ve been hearing in the past few years. Somber, reflective yet also not excessively melancholy, this was one of my favorite new acts of the year.

KEY TRACK: “Don’t Want To Be Your Girl”

29) THE LAST SHADOW PUPPETS – Everything You’ve Come To Expect

On the previous Lash Shadow Puppets record it was really all about Alex Turner. Most people, myself included, forgot that Miles Kane was also a force to be reckoned with. The most likely reason for this, if you’re American, is that Miles Kane’s previous accomplishments were usually only recognized within England and nowhere else. On their second album, eight years after the first, Turner and Kane make it a more democratic practice while taking the R&B-infused rock blueprints from their day jobs. The end result is a sexy, smoky, hazy trip full of late nights out, late-night burnout accompanied by swelling strings in the right places. Both personality’s shine through and all the songs are keepers.

KEY TRACK: “Bad Habits”

28) BASTILLE – “Wild World”

Bastille is a band that is constantly working. In today’s age, you have to be creating constantly to not only get attention but remind your hardcore fans you’re still around. After the success of 2013’s Bad Blood, the band kept busy touring, releasing mix tapes, and more touring. During this time they tightened up their modern approach to pop music and crafted an ambitious 20-song (if you have the deluxe edition) collection of arena-level pop/rock. Their sonic approach remains consistently modern as front man Dan Smith demonstrates the level of influences one would expect from someone who likely grew up with all music available at the click of a button. Lead single “Good Grief” might not have captured the public’s conscious like “Pompeii” did a few years back but Bastille remains one of the most interesting and dynamic pop/rock acts out there.

KEY TRACK: “Good Grief”

27) TOVE LO – Lady Wood

Tove Lo tightens up on her second album of dark pop. This is the sort of thing that can easily sit alongside Katy Perry and Rihanna but there’s a certain darkness that Tove Lo brings to the mix. Added to the fact that the girl has songwriting chops writing hits for the likes of Icona Pop and Amelia Lily. Lady Wood is an overall darker affair than her previous release and a lot more concise. The beats are colder but that suits the bummed-out songs, even if you can still easily sing along to them.

KEY TRACK: “True Disaster”

26) AGAINST ME! – Shape Shift With Me

Laura Jane Grace (formerly known as Tom Gabel) coming out as transgender in 2012 gave Against Me a much needed publicity bump along with, at least somewhat, making the world a bit more tolerant place. What we didn’t know was, perhaps not surprisingly, her marriage was falling apart during this time period due to the recent transitioning. As such, Shape Shift with Me isn’t a traditional break-up record but explores love in broader terms. What is it we all look for and what is it we all need? The band’s snarling punk approach now coupled with a higher level of pop-punk hooks provides a relentless attack and proves this band is still a force to be reckoned with.

KEY TRACK: “Crash”

25) SANTIGOLD – 99 Cents

The usual M.O. after the “difficult follow-up” is to bounce bank with a brighter, more nimble and user-friendly record. Santigold started her career out as an A&R rep for a major label so she has first-hand experience of what artists should deliver in order to maximize return. As such, 99 Cents sounds exactly as its cover art implies. Bright, snappy, sharp and a blend of many genres. This is pop music by any means but its executed extremely well and with a nodding wink that lets the listener know the artist is well aware that it might seem like pandering, but this is pop music constructed by a master.

KEY TRACK: “Banshee”

24) JAGWAR MA – Every Now and Then

Jagwar Ma are one of those groups that gets classified as “electronic” strictly because they don’t normally use traditional rock instrumentation. To be fair, is there is a fair amount of loops and electronic beats but the way they blend both psychedelic melodies and deep house makes for an intoxicating listen. Guitars chime in now and again to add a light human touch but this record is an absolute dance-fueled blast from start to finish.

KEY TRACK: “Give Me A Reason”

23) DEFTONES – Gore

Now all in their 40’s, these nu metal survivors are elder statesmen which usually means diminishing returns for the listener. However, Deftones have aged rather gracefully from their skate metal origins to fully embracing their love of melodic atmospheres, ambient sounds all pushing back other boundaries the metal genre usually does not forgive bands for going past. It’s rare to see a band getting better and better as the years pass which makes Gore even more of a treat.

KEY TRACK: “Hearts/Wires”

22) TEGAN AND SARA – Love You To Death

Playing it safe after a big blockbuster is a common move, particularly for a veteran act like Tegan and Sara who spent years and years building their audience with their polite and charming indie folk. After going full on electro-pop on 2013’s Heartthrob they stuck to the same formula this year and, while it didn’t exactly allow for lightening to strike twice, it still allowed for plenty of replay value with its shiny hooks.

KEY TRACK: “U-Turn”

21) KINGS OF LEON – Walls

I never imagined I’d ever be including any Kings of Leon album ever on my year-ends lists. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t have much against the band. I found their early releases and “Southern Strokes” press-boasting was completely off base as they basically just sounded like any bar band you’d find down south. They started to wear me down by injecting more U2 arena pomposity in their music throughout the years (even if their big hit “Use Somebody” was EXTREMELY hokey). Since then, they’ve settled comfortably on being a hooky mainstream rock band without excessive posturing and/or forced Southern rock throwbacks. Walls is their most consistent set of songs to date and I’m glad the band made it through their rough patch struggling with success.

KEY TRACK: “Reverend”

20) TAKING BACK SUNDAY – Tidal Wave

Like Kings Of Leon this is a debut for Taking Back Sunday on my list and, again, like Kings of Leon it is their 7th full length release. After going through a number of ups and downs in the 00’s with a rotating cast of band members, Taking Back Sunday sound fully comfortable moving into middle age while playing tribute to the acts that inspired them. Lead single and title track sounds like a straight up Ramones-tribute amongst 12 other tracks that find the band coming full circle. It may not please the MySpace-core users of the previous decade but this is a great example of an emo band aging gracefully and not letting their sound become dated.

KEY TRACK: “Tidal Wave”

19) FITZ & THE TANTRUMS – Fitz And The Tantrums

After the breakthrough success of their second record, Fitz & The Tantrums tighten up and aim to please even more on their third full release. Their self-titled album is almost like a how-to guide for how you get a late afternoon festival audience up and jumping after hours of dull jangly guitar rock. There’s no omnipresent theme here, other than wanting to make the listener dance, the hopes of love and also the disappointments. Throughout the whole endeavor, the band keeps the beats sharp and the hooks sticky which ensures listener fatigue is not an option.

KEY TRACK: “Fadeback”

18) PANIC! AT THE DISCO – Death Of A Bachelor

Of the mid-00’s emo boom there are very few survivors. Panic! At The Disco (now down to just one member, Brendan Urie) can count themselves among the few. Urie has taken time to slowly reinvent the project to be a post-emo Jock Jam delivery service. Previous records didn’t have much in the way of one consistent theme but Death Of A Bachelor isn’t subtle in that all the tracks throwback to the “glory “days of Urie’s bachelorhood. There’s plenty of camp and sometimes unnecessary pomp but Urie makes it all work through his likeable personality, sharp assisted hooks from various songwriting teams along with a modern production scene that keeps him sounding contemporary. The record is a total blast and who would have thought, in 2006, that the group would be headlining Madison Square Garden a decade later.

KEY TRACK: “LA Devotee”

17) GREEN DAY - Revolution Radio

Don’t listen to anyone telling you this is a “return to from”. Green Day already attempted to do that with the ill-fated trilogy which was immensely enjoyable to some (including me!) but to most, was a bit too much and in all fairness, some of those tracks should have been delegated to a rarities compilation. Using this as a lesson, Green Day comes full circle and finally embraces simply being Green Day without anything to prove. There’s a few melodic pop-punk bangers but also a heavy amount of acoustic balladry and leftover rock-opera theatrics from the 00’s. The band still sounds as confident as ever and it’s nice to see them finally accept their status as elder statesmen while still crafting quality records.

KEY TRACK: “Still Breathing”

16) JAMES BLAKE – The Colour In Anything

James Blake is essentially what Justin Vernon (a.k.a Bon Iver) is working towards (more on that in a little). The Colour In Anything is Blake’s third record and his most sonically ambitious by far. Previously, he was delegated to the less-douchey part of “dub-step”. Here he devotes all resources available to his craft, constructing a full-on adventure in sonic wilderness. There’s no vocal effect or digital nuance he won’t touch during this sprawling 76-minute adventure. All digital glitches aside, his songwriting hasn’t missed a beat since he first was heard from back in 2010 and, at this point, The Colour In Anything stands at his crowning achievement.

KEY TRACK: “Modern Soul”

15) GARBAGE – Strange Little Birds

Unlike many of the 90’s holdovers, Garbage has little interest in relevancy. That’s not to say they haven’t built upon their sound but they no longer have an interest in sounding youthful which makes sense as all band members are now post-50. Strange Little Birds functions as an adult break-up record. There’s a lingering melancholy unlike the usual break-up records because singer Shirley Manson has been around the block a few times and knows, as she reflects in several songs, that sometimes she’s to blame for her transgressions. The band’s dark modern pop still sounds thrilling as they update their sound here and there with a few new tricks but with Manson still leading the way, the band never stumbles.

KEY TRACK: “Even Though Our Love Is Doomed”

14) BILLY TALENT – Afraid Of Heights

While Billy Talent continues to play arenas in their native land of Canada, as soon as they cross the U.S. border they’re reduced to a club band. That’s a shame because these punchy Buzzcocks-style rockers continue to put out great records with snarly melodies, vicious guitar attacks and plenty of pit-ready rhythms. Of course, the band members are easing into middle age so there’s a lot of reflecting and more sensitivity here than previously but that doesn’t take away from the band’s passion. I’m tempted to dock them points for the silly anti-EDM “Louder Than The DJ” but part of growing old is finally succumbing to the fact that you no longer fully understand youth culture. Also, the song still rips so no hard feelings. Here’s to aging as gracefully as Billy Talent.

KEY TRACK: “Leave Them All Behind”

13) BUTCH WALKER – Stay Gold

Butch has noted this is his last full length release so Stay Gold functions as a welcome send-off. Throughout the record, Walker finds himself looking back on his several past lives and reinventions. His love of guitar pop via Tom Petty style never completely disappears but, since this guy has been on pop radio via songwriting in one form or another for nearly two decades, the songs never fail to disappoint. Bonus points for the heartbreaking ballad at the end which is able to be perfectly nostalgic while also, begrudgingly, accepting the future at the same time.

KEY TRACK: “Record Store”

12) SIA – This Is Acting

Hard to believe that so many of these songs were presented to various pop tarts and turned down. Most alarmingly, how did Rihanna turn down “Cheap Thrills”? Their loss is our gain as Sia has a different type of personality and seasoned passion which only comes with years of experience and false-starts. Fully embracing the sounds of today, she crafts her own world (with help) to deliver a stunning set of pop gems. Next time around, something tells me Rihanna will be more open-minded.

KEY TRACK: “Cheap Thrills”

11) ST. LUCIA – Matter

There’s always a lot written in the press about acts being an “80’s or “90’s throwback these days. The real reason for this is those two decades were the last ones where distinct sounds could be tied to them. St. Lucia, the project of Brooklyn via South Africa Jean-Philip Grobler made no secret of their love of 80’s campy synth-pop with their 2013 full length debut. Matter takes that same template and kicks it into overdrive, fully allowing Grobler to embrace his love of huge hooks, cheesy synth lines and 80’s dance beats. They might still function as a “rock” band but this lovely record will delight anyone who has missed when synths ruled the world in the 1980’s.

KEY TRACK: “Help Me Run Away”

10) WEEZER – Weezer (White Album)

In terms of redemption stories, Weezer might not be at the top of the list but they’re coming close. Once they re-engaged with popular culture in the early-mid 00’s they spent the rest of the decade tragically undoing all the good will they built up with old and new fans alike. 2014’s Everything Will Be All Right In The End put them back on track and allowed them to deliver the “White Album” (actually their 4th self-titled) which is a record they’ve been destined to make since their debut in 1994. A classic California beach guitar-pop record with modern flourishes, Rivers Cuomo dreams up his version of Southern California complete with soaring hooks, Beach Boys harmonies and crunching guitars. This isn’t a nostalgia trip by any means as producer Jake Sinclair, a Weezer fan growing up, steers the group to still sound modern and sleek without losing the nerdy and awkward charm that made us all fall in love with Weezer in the first place. Similar to Green Day’s record this year, Weezer finally sounds comfortable simply being Weezer.

KEY TRACK: “L.A. Girls”

09) MIIKE SNOW – iii

Swedes and note-perfect pop music go together extremely well. Miike Snow, the band (not a guy), took some time off after their synth-pop had fully penetrated the U.S. in 2012. Since then, they’ve come back with 10 more bangers stripping their music of pretension and focusing on the important stuff: beats, hooks, melodies and charisma. Some reviews focus on “style over substance” but style is one of the most, if not the most, important characteristic in pop music. It doesn’t always matter what is being sung about so long as there is swagger and personality which Miike Snow offers in spades.

KEY TRACK: “Genghis Khan”

08) THE STRUTS – Everybody Wants’

As I’ve mentioned several times, I’m glad the Brits won’t fully give up on glam-infused rock and roll. The Struts pick up where previous British burnouts The Darkness and Jet left off. Their US full length updates their previous UK debut with a welcome 5 new tracks as well as all the keepers from their first release. If you’re cynical, this is the typical “save rock and roll” album a lot of people turn to when feeling bummed about the genre but there really are plenty of treats here for even the most jaded listeners. Big riffs married with big hooks and big crescendos will never stop being exciting to me.

KEY TRACK: “Kiss This”

07) PHANTOGRAM – Three

Phantogram has been building up to this moment for a while. What started as a lo-fi electronic atmospheric pop project has now turned full-blown arena atmospheric pop. The duo has always been dark but there’s an even darker lingering theme throughout Three as the band had a number of people close to them pass away in the past year, most notably lead singer Sarah Barthel’s younger sister which is reflected in the devastating “Destroyer”. They turn pain into some wicked pleasures, all culminating in the excellent “You Don’t Get Me High Anymore” which will rattle around in your head for days.

KEY TRACK: “You Don’t Get Me High Anymore”

06) KALEO – A/B

If you didn’t do any research, you’d likely think Kaleo was another gang of Southern boys re-purposing the blues for modern times. I had that same impression until I learned they were actually from Iceland, a place far removed from American blues rock. For cynics, it’s easy to scoff at these foreigners doing their best impression of southern rock but Kaleo pull it off with great success. There’s everything on here from straight-up Black Keys rockers to Bon Iver tributes all while maintain the band’s own identity. For rock and roll purists, Kaleo was as good as it gets in 2016.

KEY TRACK: “All The Pretty Girls”

05) RADIOHEAD – A Moon Shaped Pool

Many were afraid to admit it, but with 2011’s The King Of Limbs Radiohead had painted themselves a little too much into a corner. Bouncing back with A Moon Shaped Pool, they learned to embrace the beautiful non-glitch elements of their sound including instruments played by actual humans while Thom Yorke’s melodies take on prettier pastures. Don’t be fooled, there’s still plenty of “end of the world” type executions here but, being Radiohead, they make it all sound so effortlessly easy and beautiful. Bonus points for finally giving us a recorded version of “True Love Waits”!

KEY TRACK: “Burn The Witch”

04) JIMMY EAT WORLD – Integrity Blues

While the mainstream fell off a long time ago, Jimmy Eat World has been remarkably consistent in their career post breakthrough in 2001-02. I’m realizing there’s a reoccurring theme in this list of addressing getting older (NO idea why that might be, of course) and Integrity Blues continues that trend. While they’ll forever be pegged an “emo” band in the eyes of most, Jimmy Eat World toss off earnest sincerity with such ease its’ second nature to them at this point. After putting out a “grown up break-up record” in 2013, they’ve come full circle with the incredibly well-rounded Integrity Blues. There may not be as much bite in their sound these days but that’s due to continued maturity and also a wider range of influences. They still wear their hearts no their sleeves and Jim Adkins, now in his 40’s, can still easily soundtrack any high school.

KEY TRACK: “Sure And Certain”

03) BON IVER – 22, A million

Justin Vernon is still portrayed as the sad bastard strumming solemn acoustic songs in the woods by the media. Any listen to this record, as well as his previous Grammy-winning self-titled release in 2011, should dispel that notion. 22, A Million is a strange, jarring but still extremely fulfilling listen that finds Vernon adopting a kitchen sink type approach to his music-making. There are still sad moments, yes, but they are spliced up between random glitches, beats and strange vocoder effects. It’s almost as if Vernon is still trying to shake off his success with a healthy dose of sonic confrontation. Underneath it all, the songs are still extremely pleasant and deliver in way listeners want Bon Iver too, even if you can’t fully figure out the odd song naming convention.

KEY TRACK: “7:15 (Creeks)”

02) LUKAS GRAHAM – Lukas Graham

Turning pain into pop songwriting is nothing new. Lead singer/songwriter Lukas Forchhammer grew up a child actor but also lost his father at a young age. He turns his autobiography into a charming theatrical musical-like record bringing you up to speed from his early childhood (“7 Years”) to even imagining his death being a huge party (“Funeral”). Even with the grim subject matter, Forchhammer never totally sounds bummed out, always keeping hope alive in his darkest moments. Perhaps the most honest and charming pop record of the year, I’m excited for what this band has to offer next.

KEY TRACK: “What Happened To Perfect”

01) THE 1975 – I Like It When You Sleep, For You Are So Beautiful Yet So Unaware Of It

If this list were titled “the 40 most obnoxious album titles of 2016” this record will still be number one. The 1975 has a lot that can get on people’s nerves, most notably the pretentious presentation and unnecessary pomp that American audiences aren’t used to from acts that present themselves as “rock” bands. The 1975 may feature the usual combo of vocals, guitar, bass, drums and keyboards but they are a straight up pop band, through and throughout. Note pop band and not singer. It’s amazing that the band member, who were all born in the late 80’s and early 90’s, have such a fascination with all thing 80’s. If this were a collection of songs, it’d still be great, but their ability to balance the anthemic pop bangers with moody introspective instrumentals and sparse acoustic tracks makes them a fully competent album band. Judging by the band’s success of selling out Madison Square Garden this spring without a true HIT hit single (they’ve done well on the modern rock charts), they might be well on their way to becoming a stadium act in a few years. Plus, try getting “The Sound” out of your head once you’ve heard it.

KEY TRACK: “The Sound”

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