#also pls tell me SOMEONE knows the lyrics i used here

[milkloafy]

I COULD BE YOUR CRUSH — WRIOTHESLEY

⋆｡˚ ❀ summary: you gush about your crush to neuvillette over some tea, and your crush unexpectedly joins the tea party and overhears you talking about him. ⋆｡˚ ❀ contents: fluff, fem!reader (use of princess as a petname), sassy neuvi, mentions of ayato ⋆｡˚ ❀ wc: 1.2k+ ⋆｡˚ ❀ a/n: alexa play crush by tessa violet,, LOL i was thinking so hard about the song title then i was like okay yeah these lyrics work ;-; titles are so hard.. anywayyy PLS ENJOY SOME WRIO FLUFF FOR THE SOUL !!

“You just don’t understand, Neuvillette,” you sighed dramatically, stabbing your fork into the delicate cake in front of you. “He’s totally swoon-worthy.”

Neuvillette took a sip of his tea before carefully placing the cup back on its saucer. For a while, he continued to stay silent, as if considering his words.

Once he finally opened his mouth, the only question that came out was a calm, “How so?”

It didn’t take long for a million reasons to pop into your head.

“Well…have you seen his arms?” you gushed. “Is that not enough of a reason in itself?”

Neuvillette scoffed, a smile of amusement playing on his lips.

“That’s not all, of course,” you clarified, grabbing a throw pillow from the sofa next to you and hugging it close to your chest. “He’s also caring and kind and treats everyone with respect, no matter who they are.” 

Neuvillette’s gaze flickered briefly to the door behind you, but you paid it no mind.

“Not to mention how he looks when he gets all serious. Neuvillette, have you ever seen him talk about a prisoner he had to punish? It’s so…” You hid your face behind the pillow, cheeks flaming at the thought.

Before you had a chance to collect yourself, you heard someone clear their throat behind you. You immediately stilled in your seat, slowly bringing the pillow back down to your lap.

“Sorry I’m late. Who are we talking about?”

Neuvillette smiled, ignoring your frantic look directed right at him. “Wriothesley, welcome. You are not too late. Please, take a seat.”

Wriothesley slipped onto the sofa, taking a seat next to you. Neuvillette poured him a cup of tea that he graciously accepted. Looking over at you, Wriothesley brought the drink up to his face and asked, “Care to tell me who you were speaking of before I arrived? It sounded like you were singing their praises.”

You fiddled with the the hem of your silk pajamas— Neuvillette failed to inform you beforehand that a certain someone would be joining the tea party, so you appeared in your regular sleep clothes. You racked your brain trying to come up with a response. 

“Oh, you know… Kamisato Ayato,” you managed, vaguely remembering how you saw his name and face on the cover of The Steambird recently. “The head of the Kamisato clan is such a…dashing and strong leader. I think.” 

“I didn’t realize you were close to Kamisato,” commented Wriothesley, sitting with one leg loosely draped over the other as he leaned back against the sofa.

“Oh,” you shook your head, “no. No, I’ve never even met him.”

Wriothesley raised a singular eyebrow in question. “Your words earlier seemed so strong for something directed at a man you have never met.” 

You shrugged, trying to appear nonchalant even though your heart threatened to beat our of your chest. “You know how enamored a crush can make someone.” 

“I do,” Wriothesley agreed, his gaze locked onto yours so intensely that you almost had to blink.

“I’m sure you do,” remarked Neuvillette, still sipping his tea.

You and Wriothesley both looked over at him.

Neuvillette blinked. “Did you forget I was here? This is my office, is it not?” When no one responded, he sighed. “Well, I finished the last of my tea and I have some work to wrap up. Feel free to stay as long as you need.”

Neuvillette made his way back to his desk and Wriothesley refocused his attention towards you. 

“So. Kamisato Ayato,” he brought the clan leader up once more.

You choked out a laugh of exasperation. “Are we still on this? Just let me have my silly little crush on someone across the world who doesn’t even know I exist.”

Tapping his fingers against the teacup, Wriothesley huffed. You realized he looked almost annoyed and frustrated.

Just as you were about to ask him what was wrong, Wriothesley opened his mouth and said, “Would it be overbearing of me to say I wish you had said a different name when I asked who you were gushing over?”

A strange mixture of curiosity and hope filled your chest.

Curiosity as to who he thought you were talking about. Hope that maybe he thought it might’ve been him. 

“You could never be overbearing,” you assured, grabbing a small biscuit from the table and softening it up in your warm tea. “Would it be nosy of me to ask who you wished I was gushing over?”

Wriothesley grinned. “You are certainly nosy. But it’s one of the things I like about you.”

You laughed, wiping a crumb off your lip with a napkin. “Does that mean you won’t tell me?”

“Perhaps another day.”

In the distance, you heard Neuvillette clear his throat loudly. You looked over and saw him glaring straight at Wriothesley. They stayed like that for a while, having a silent conversation with their eyes. Whatever it was, it seemed intense. You were quite glad that glare wasn’t directed at you.

“I believe Wriothesley would like to share that information with you now,” Neuvillette announced after Wriothesley looked away with a sigh.

“Does he?”

“I do,” Wriothesley confirmed, the slightest bit begrudgingly. “Me.”

You waited for him to say more, but he didn’t elaborate. 

You blinked. “What about you?” 

“Are you going to make me say it?” Wriothesley let out a strangled laugh, grabbing a biscuit to munch on himself. “When I overheard you and Neuvillette talking about your crush, I was hoping it was about me.”

You blinked. “Why about you?” 

Neuvillette made a strange noise as a book fell off his desk. He cleared his throat. “Pardon me.”

You barely had time to wonder if he was okay before Wriothesley finally responded.

“You really don’t make things easy for me, isn’t that right, princess?” Wriothesley said with a helpless smile. “I hoped you were saying such sweet things about me, since I would say equally sweet things about you.”

With your stomach turning at both the pet name and his admission, you managed to say, “And if I were to tell you it really was about you?”

“That would make me a very happy man,” he said, unable to contain his delight. “Who wouldn’t be happy to hear the most beautiful and caring person they know is interested in them as well?”

You heard Neuvillette tap his foot impatiently in the background, but you ignored him. You and Wriothesley were having a moment here. 

“So, you’re saying you like me, too?” you asked, not wanting there to be any chance of a misunderstanding. The two of you made it this far, you couldn’t let it fall apart now.

“I like you very much,” said Wriothesley with a nod. “And I have something to take care of at the Fortress this week, but when we both have time next week, perhaps we can celebrate with a dinner. Without Neuvillette there.”

“Please, without me there,” Neuvillette chimed in, his arms folded as he sat in his chair.

You laughed, standing up and brushing the imaginary dust off your pajamas. “All right, I can take a hint, Neuvillette. I’ll help you clean up before I go. And Wriothesley…” 

“Hmm?”

You met his gaze and the corners of his eyes crinkled. You fought off a giggle as you returned Wriothesley’s smile, an overwhelming feeling of happiness filling you. “It’s a date.”

[lovingseventeen]

Hiii could you pls write about how seventeen gets their s/o to sit in their lap?? Thanks so much

svt getting their s/o to sit on their lap

a/n: i hope this is sufficient for my very delayed return (please).

seungcheol: 

✿ it's truly just second nature for him at this point

✿ he'll just casually guide you onto his lap and you don't really question it either

✿ say you're about to sit next to him on the couch

✿ as you're about to sit he'll just lightly pull your wrist in his direction and there you are

jeonghan:

✿ loves to rest his head on your shoulder when you sit on his lap

✿ the simplest "come here" and you're following

✿ he loves this because you don't even have to pay attention to him but he has all the access to wrap his arms around your middle

joshua: 

✿ pats his leg when you want to show him something on your phone

✿ "josh look at this thing i just saw-"

✿ immediately, he's sitting up and spreading his legs so you can walk in the space between them and sit on one of his thighs

✿ "let me see, pretty"

jun: 

✿ will gradually shift you onto his lap over time absentmindedly

✿ neither of you two really notice but you just wind up there

✿ you were watching a movie on opposite ends of the couch (which is fine) but now you're there??? (no one is complaining)

hoshi: 

✿ so annoying about it (i mean this in a loving way)

✿ why should you sit anywhere else when his lap is literally right there??

✿ even if you sat somewhere else without thinking about it he's jokingly scoffing "so you hate me"

✿ (it's okay, just go sit on his lap and peck his cheek and he's all giddy again)

wonwoo: 

✿ pulls you towards him by an article of clothing

✿ it could be your pants loop, the sleeve of your hoodie, or the back of your shirt

✿ he doesn't need to ask you twice :')

woozi:

✿ always asks for your opinion when he makes a new beat or writes new lyrics

✿ "i want you to listen to this" he says with a hand stretched out

✿ he likes to have you sit on his lap while he places the headphones around your ears

✿ he gently presses his forehead to your back as he waits for your thoughts

dokyeom: 

✿ perpetually wrapped around you anyway (his love language is physical touch)

✿ it doesn't take long when an arm around your shoulder as you're sitting next to each other moves to your waist

✿ then he figures this isn't close enough and he'll also maneuver you so you're eventually on his lap. he'll quite literally wrap his arms around your middle so he can move you

✿ "this is better" as he nudges his face into your neck

mingyu:

✿ will manhandle you if he has to

✿ you try teasing him just to see him get pouty and as you're trying to get away from him, he uses a little bit more of his strength to pull you towards him

✿ but as you're sat you feel him mumble against your shoulder "do you actually not want to?"

minghao:

✿ i think he's a pretty straightforward person

✿ a simple tucking your hair behind your ears and he's caught your attention

✿ "i want you closer" as he holds your arm to help you move

seungkwan: 

✿ dances around the subject instead of just telling you what he wants lol

✿ "did you know that sitting on wooden chairs is actually bad for your back? there's no cushioning"

✿ "oh really? should we order cushions then or-"

✿ "you could sit somewhere else"

✿ "but i need the table for my laptop and i get so lazy on the couch-"

✿ "then maybe you could just sit here" he offers, moving his chair back to welcome you. then it all clicks (he's a dork)

vernon: 

✿ also probably someone who just tugs you gently in his direction

✿ i don't think he'd need to use words for you to get it either

✿ even if you're standing around him doing anything else and you feel him lightly pull the back of your sweater you follow him without giving it much thought

chan:

✿ as long as you're in his vicinity he pulls you with him as he sits down

✿ both of you just came home from work? he's dropping himself down on the couch and you're coming with him

✿ has most definitely missed at least once and you both landed on the floor

[redbullgirly]

The Dancer [FA14 smau]

Fernando Alonoso x dancer!reader

Masterlist

Summary: Few months after, everybody laughs when they remember the rumors about Fernando Alonso and Taylor Swift dating. Would they laugh though if they new it maybe wasn't so far from truth as it may seem? Well, one thing's for sure - Y/N and Fernando will laugh very much while soft launching their relationship... and confusing everyone with swiftie content thanks to her job.

Warnings: Maybe wrong dates and timeline of The Eras Tour, but whatever XD.

messages between Y/N and Fernando

fernandoalo_oficial posted on instagram

liked by alex_albon, zhouguanyu24, pierregasly and 562,109 others

fernandoalo_oficial I was taken by the view like we were in Paris... romance is not dead.

view all 4001 comments

user1 i dont think my brain can comprehend so many things all at once😨

user2 right? I'M IN SHOCK

user3 fr fernando wants to give us a heart attack😭

lilymhe I see what you did here...

alex_albon I indeed see what he did here too...😏

user4 guys tell us what he did pls I'm begging youuuu

user5 Alonso soft launching was not on my 2024 bingo card

user6 him soft launching with TAYLOR SWIFT wasn't on MY bingo card 😭

user7 How he's suddenly so hot in the first pic? Like damn sir okay🫢

user8 girlfriend effect is real y'all

georgerussell63 Mate you can't do that to me, I just woke up 😧

user8 lmfao princess georgie is as confused as we are xd

fernandoalo_oficial sorry mate, don't get wrinkles🤞

gerogerussell63 What even is that choice of emoji?

fernandoalo_oficial well, someone is original with an emoji and someone is original with a pose... choice is yours 😃

georgerussell63 Stop it's been almost a year 😭

user9 not them bullying each other💀

user10 Yeah the duo we didn't know we needed

user11 I saw the first picture and almost spat out my drink in shock of such a hot photo of Nando. Then I swiped and literally choked on it because the last think I'd ever expect from his photo dump is a soft lunch of some baddie girl🫣

user12 I am delusional for thinking Taylonso could still have a chance, aren't I?

user13 well i mean you basically answered it yourself so... yeah XD

user14 OMG WHAAAAAAT😱

user15 oh no Fernando is not single anymore💔

user16 I think I accidentally teleported into some alternative universe... what is thiiiis?

user17 REAL

user18 fuck me this man seriously used lyrics from paris by ts💀

user19 Idk why but I kinda like this new side of Fernando😻

twitter

yourusername posted on instagram

liked by taylorswift, fernandoalo_oficial, carmenmmundt and 5,234 others

tagged: taylorswift and 9 others

yourusername crazy performance, even crazier night out and the most crazy training the day after... I call that the life of a dancer😻🎉 also my head and heart did go vroom vroom after the second pic

view all 218 comments

taylorswift I call that the eras tour life!💗

yourusername yes ma'am!

user1 damn she got our queen Taylor replying to her posts... how does it feel to live my dream?!😭

yourusername amazing! 🥰

user2 such a shame my mum didn't force me to try dancing when I was little... I could have been at podium next to Taylor Swift right now 😃

liked by the author

user3 You are such a good dancer, the shows wouldn't be the same without you Y/N!

yourusername omg thank u sm I really appreciate that!!🥹

user4 sooo... are we gonna just ignore Fernando in the likes or what???

user5 THAT'S WHAT I CAME HERE TO SAY

user6 fr I need some crazy detective from twitter to figure this out😫

carmenmmundt Hey, could you give me and lilymhe vip tickets...?

yourusername I mean... everything can be done 😏 I'll just need to ask mother Taylor bc I just used my plus one at the last concert🫡

lilymhe OH MY GOD WE LOVE YOU Y/N

yourusername I love you girls as well, we have to finally meet sometimes!!!

carmenmmundt Yeah, I think we'll have chance at the end of February at the latest😉

user7 WHAT IS HAPPENING HERE

user8 Omg are they hinting Y/N at the Bahrain GP?? F1 season starts at the end of February right?!

goergerussell63 Well hello there, nice to meet you Y/N... given the fact my dear girlfriend doesn't care about me, could you give me and alex_albon vip tickets as well?😊

alex_albon Yeah Y/N we are very big fans😊

yourusername everything for the guys that go vroom vroom🫡

alex_albon Like your heart

yourusername exactly!

user9 I AM FREAKING OUT

user9 MY BRAIN HURTS FROM HOW MUCH IS GOING ON

user9 WAIT FUCK I THINK I GOT IT

user9 AAAHHH I FEEL LIKE SHERLOCK MF HOLMES

twitter & messages between Y/N and Fernando

yourusername posted on instagram

liked by selenagomez, fernandoalo_oficial, francisca.cgomes, astonmartinf1 and 8,234 others

yourusername preparing for the next season🤞

view all 1,029 comments

user1 y/n is literally living my dream life rn

georgerussell63 Oh no... he infected you with that emoji, didn't he?

yourusername we'll never know... maybe I infected HIM with it

gourgerussell63 I think higher of you and your taste in emojis

yourusername aww thanks princess georgie how sweet🥰

georgerussell63 I take it back

user2 HELLO?! what is happening💀

dancer1 excuse me little miss y/n... is that a man i'm seeing?🤨

yourusername well... maybe

dancer2 Be fr she's trying to soft launch him for like a month now😭

dancer1 okay i'm calling you rn STAY WHERE YOU ARE

user3 Guys why's nobody talking about the paddock pass in the 5th picture!!!!

user4 omg that's a PADDOCK PASS?😱

user5 yeah it is I noticed it thanks to this comment

user6 Wait... does that mean her and Fernando have been together longer? Because she already went to a race before the winter break??

user5 idk girl we don't even know for sure she's really dating him😓

user6 idgaf about who's dating her bc even without bf y/n's sooo hot like damn... mommy🥵

user7 I'm so confused... is this Alonso's girl or not?

user8 trust me user7 - we'd all like to know that😭

user9 😍

yourusername and fernandoalo_oficial posted on instagram stories

yourusername story has been seen by taylorswift, lance_stroll and 13,634 others

fernandoalo_oficial story has been seen by charles_leclerc, astonmartinf1 and 308,003 others

user1 replied to yourusername story: is that an f1 driver there y/n

dancer1 replied to yourusername story: Hope he'll not disappoint me in person when you talked about him sm 😒

yourusername ohhh trust me you'll love him just as I do🥰

dancer1 omg bleeeeh I hope not 🫣

user2 replied to yourusername story: your friends are so pretty😩

taylorswift replied to yourusername story: When you'll take him to get my approval??

yourusername soon taylor, soon... I'm just afraid it'll break the internet lol

taylorswift I think we're used to that already with Travis at this point��

yourusername true😭

fernandoalo_official replied to yourusername story: 🔥

yourusername it's going to be okay, they'll love you 🫶

fernandoalo_oficial how did you know I was nervous amor?

yourusername I saw you literally shaking when you left to the bathroom love...😹

yourusername oh they're back come quickly!!💞

fernandoalo_oficial onmw

user3 replied to fernandoalo_oficial story: IS THIS THE CONFIRMATION WE NEEDED?!

user4 replied to fernandoalo_oficial story: I see what you're doing here old man 👀

user5 replied to fernandoalo_oficial story: soft launch slowly turning into a hard launch and I'm here for it!!!!

dancer1 replied to fernandoalo_oficial story: I guess you aren't that bad in person...

fernandoalo_oficial 😁

user6 replied to fernandoalo_oficial story: screaming crying throwing up

taylorswift replied to fernandoalo_oficial story: You better treat my best dancer right Alonso!🤍

fernandoalo_oficial of course ma'am! 🫡

user7 replied to fernandoalo_oficial story: So cute!!😍

messages between Y/N and Fernando

fernandoalo_oficial posted on instagram

liked by maxverstappen1, oscarpiastri, f1, yourusername and 601,239 others

tagged: yourusername

fernandoalo_oficial All these people think love's for show but I would die for you in secret... #swiftie

view all 6,022 comments

yourusername I'd just like to make it clear to everybody that it's me who made him be swiftie... you're welcome💋

liked by the author

user1 OMG THE LYRICS FROM PEACE BY TAYLOR

carmenmmundt Y/N is so pretty!😍

yourusername ohh carmen ilysm you're even prettier🥹

user2 No way Fernando just really har launched his gf😭

f1 We smell a new wag!

user4 LOL you're kinda late for that admin xd

user5 Congrats and wish you well world champ!💪

user6 can we talk about how gorgeous she is???

lilymhe double date when honey?

yourusername anytime babeee!!!

fernandoalo_oficial why do I have a feeling me and alex_albon will be third-wheeling on you two?🤨

alex_albon you'll eventually get used to third-wheeling your own girlfriend and her friends, trust me fernando...🤠

user7 This girl is like a goddess, I can't even blame him ❤️🔥

user8 mommy & daddy

georgerussell63 Finally! Congratulation on the hard launch mate👍

fernandoalo_oficial and look who's original with emojis now...😂

user9 from now on this is my fav couple

user10 mine to

user11 SHUT UP THE DELULU GIRLIES ON TWITTER WERE RIGHT

lance_stroll 💚💚

user12 nah I don't know what he see in her🙄

user13 Go away we don't want the jealous haters here 🥱

kellypiquet Welcome to the F1 family yourusername!🤍

yourusername thx!💞

user14 i call this couple goals

user15 I'M SO READY FOR BOYFRIEND MATERIAL ALONSO

user16 I can already feel he'll be so hot in his new era 😩

user17 lmao nando in his swiftie and stlutty era as someone on twitter said😹

yourusername swiftie and slutty era? i like the sound of it😏

user16 not y/n reading all the comments sipping over her bf 💀

liked by yourusername

THE END

Author's Note: Hello everyone, hope you liked it! I'm not sure you should get used to me posting so often, but let's say that after Lance's social media au and the great feedback I had so much motivation... plus I'm sick, so I actually have the time to write and create XD. Anyway, I'll be glad for likes, comments, reblog and every other way of showing support! Have a great day and let me know how you liked Nando and swiftie dancer together!

[amyispxnk]

I'd do whatever I could do

Summary - you're staying with Joel now, trying to figure yourself out and leaving the QZ to visit some of his friends

A/N: oh my god, I finally did it y'all - finally made the part two for this 👏 Also, I was going through the lyrics of this song and I kind of realised just how daddy issues Joel it is. I'm not gonna list them, but there are definitely a good few lines that stuck out to me. A part 3 might be simmering. We'll see.

Pairing: platonic/father figure!Joel Miller x f!reader (could probably be read as GN tho?)

Word count: 1.8k

Warnings: violence, mentions of past abuse, PTSD, alcohol mention, language, angst, pet names, comfort, paternal issues, very brief mention of a gun

DO NOT COPY THIS FIC IN ANY WAY PLS AND TY.

Part 1 here

You reckoned you had stopped really taking the words in a few seconds after he slammed the door behind him, immediately shrinking back into the couch where you'd previously been sat staring into space, whilst he told you things about his day.

Your eyes darted up at him quickly, lip quivering already. You still didn't know exactly why. Why small things like him touching you too abruptly, raising his voice (never at you, but for some reason it still affected you), loud noises like a door slamming, affected you. But they really did, and he'd come to notice it after only a few days of you staying with him.

--

He came back home after a long, difficult, tiring deal. Since your arrival and staying at his place had been so recent, his old habits remained. One of them was to practically shout and stomp his foot in anger as soon as he got back from a trade went south, a bad day out.

"Fuck!" He had gritted through clenched teeth as he threw his bag on the floor, deadset on getting into the kitchen to his whisky to muffle the frustration of the day.

You froze in complete fear and horror as he rounded the corner, his eyes immediately falling onto your trembling figure, clutching the little food packet in one of your hands as your own eyes stared back at him, bulging out of their sockets.

"Shit." He muttered to himself, taking a few steps towards you - not expecting you to immediately drop the packet and raise your hands in front of you, almost cowering before him.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry Joel p-please, I don't-" You stuttered, eyes welling up with tears as you flinched when he took another, more careful, step towards you, already apologising even though you didn't know what you had done.

"Hey, hey, hey. 's okay," he soothed. "C'mere sweetheart. It's okay." And somehow the sound of his voice, so gentle just for you, comforted you immediately.

You stepped into his open arms, body shaking hard with sobs as you choked on your own tears. "I'm sorry." You said, muffled into the fabric of his flannel.

"I told you it's okay. What happened, sweet girl?" He hugged you tight, right hand coming up to rub soothing circles into your back.

"I don't know." You murmured, unsure of what set you off so badly.

"It's okay baby, we'll figure it out. You're okay now."

--

That was the first time it had happened, now you were here again. He'd slammed the door, although he wasn't angry. It was just something he did out of habit to ensure it closed properly, but after he saw you shaking like before on the couch, his brows knitted in worry.

"What's wrong?" He asked, a hand coming to rest on your shoulder as you turned to face him slightly, jolting - not as aggressively as you used to - at the touch.

"Nothing. Just- you slammed the door. I think it's one of those.. trigger things you were talking about."

Naturally, Joel had racked his mind and scoured the dozen odd books he had in his apartment to try remember anything about this kind of mental health issue and the things you'd gone through, finally landing on some sort of PTSD. He'd explained it as best he could to you, telling you that the things like someone raising their voice at you and loud noises were 'triggers', things that reminded you of the times with your dad and made you feel that same fear you'd feel with him all over again.

"Right." He nodded, brushing your hair back and out of your eyes a bit. "'m sorry, sweetheart. I'll try not to do it again, yeah?"

You hummed a noise of agreement, making a space beside you for him to sit down on the couch.

He did so and cleared his throat. "Got some news," he began "'s nothin' big, really. Just thought you oughta have a bit of notice."

You turned to face him a little more as he looked up and met your eyes. "I have this deal, with a guy in Lincoln, and I'm due to go see him next week." He told you.

"So.. you're leaving?" You questioned, trying not to seem too hurt by it.

"No, no. I mean- if you don't want to come with me, then yeah, but I'll be back within the month. I just.. don't feel too safe leavin' you here." He explained, and you nodded.

"I don't want you to go. I'll- I'll come with you." You mumbled, and he gently tilted your head up to face him again.

"You're gonna be okay out there? Y'ever been out of the QZ before?" He asked. If you hadn't ever been outside then things could be quite difficult. It would be scary for a young thing like you. Not only that, but you had your triggers, and the gunfire paired with the infected would surely set one of them off - that's why he'd tried putting the entire trip off, but he had to go. That was how he made his living around here, he needed those supplies.

"Mmhm. I've also killed a few infected before, if you're worried about that. Not gonna be completely useless, I'd say." You said with a small chuckle, leaning into his touch subconsciously.

"Okay." He nodded, stroking your cheek gently before standing up and going over to the kitchen to make something for dinner. "And you're not useless, sweetheart, not at all."

-----

Bill and Frank. That's who they were. Bill was the guy he actually had the deal with, Frank was the one who'd convinced Bill to go along with it in the first place. Frank was the nice one, Joel had told you.

He'd explained a bit before you'd left and more when it came up in conversation as the two of you walked. In and out of forests, weaving between trees, trudging down dirt roads and kicking rocks, on your journey to Lincoln.

A journey that you still would've been able to complete within a day on foot, but that was before the apocalypse. Now there were buildings falling over eachother, and guards near your place of departure which slowed you down, and clickers and the likes which ensured you had to be completely silent in your movements, extending the time of your journey by at least 50%.

You watched as he slaughtered them all though. It should have scared you, at least a little, but it just amazed you. Admittedly, it had shaken you when you saw him completely beat one of the FEDRA guards to death when you were making your way out of Boston. You'd been caught, a guard that wasn't supposed to be there was there and Joel wasn't careful enough.

Things were almost okay, you probably could have haggled your way out of that situation, but when the soldier made a comment about you, a comment about what they might do to a 'bad girl' like you for sneaking out of the QZ, he had simply seen red. He didn't even know he had lunged for the man until he was on top of him, the crunch of the soldier's jaw and Joel's fist coming down on his face bringing him back to reality.

He was protective of you, and rightfully so, and you didn't even care how aggressive he could get with it. He wanted to keep you safe, and would go that far for it, therefore he cared about you. Someone actually cared about you.

"Okay, I think we're gonna stay here for the night." He said, pulling you out of your thoughts as you gave him a small smile.

"Okay."

You both set up a makeshift camp, eating whatever you could spare from your stash of food before getting ready to go to sleep - him denying your offer to take watch like he did before and he'd do everytime.

You sighed, walking off and quickly settling into the sleeping bag, melting into it and relishing the warmth it offered you as you hugged yourself to sleep, body heat almost suffocating you but in a comforting way.

--

When you woke up, you thought you actually were suffocating, throwing the cover off of you and crying out his name, the only person you could think of to save you. He was going to get you, he was back, he was coming for you and he'd never leave you alone, he'd take you from Joel and then he'd k-

"Hey, hey. That's not gonna happen, sweetheart, come on, come over here." You didn't realise you were saying those things out loud but it didn't matter as you crawled out of your sleeping bag, letting him pull you into his lap as he cradled you, rocking you back and forth as he kissed your head.

"It's okay, it's okay. Did ya have another nightmare?" He asked, voice calm and low as he tried to comfort you and calm you down.

You nodded quickly, sniffing and breathing erratically as you did.

"Sweet girl. It's okay now, it's okay." He reassured you, hugging you tight and pressing more kisses into your hair. "I won't let anything happen to you, you know that."

"I know." You said quietly, voice cracking as you wiped at your tears. "I'm sorry." You said, somehow in a voice even quieter than before.

He sighed, breathing slowly and deeply - something he knew helped, as he noticed you'd start breathing in time with him to ground yourself, regulate your own breathing during these situations. "Don't go and apologise when you haven't even done anything wrong, sweetheart. You're going through a lot and you're probably still processing everything that happened, it wasn't that long ago when you were still.." he didn't want to remind you of anything too sensitive, trailing off slightly. "Point is, it's all fairly fresh, and it's natural things like these nightmares are gonna be happenin', so don't apologise, okay?" He said, looking into your glossy eyes and brushing your tears away.

"Yeah. I'm-" You were already going to apologise again, making him frown slightly. "Thank you, Joel."

"It's okay. You try get some more sleep now, okay?" He gently helped you off his lap and pulled the sleeping bag back on top of your body, knees cracking as he got back up to walk away to where he was taking watch - when your voice called out for him again.

"Can you stay with me? Please, Joel? I'm just- I'm scared." You mumbled, face growing hot with embarrassment at how pathetic the question felt now you were speaking it aloud.

He pressed his lips together, turning his head to check the area once more before getting his own sleeping bag, placing it by yours, and resting his arm behind your head as you tucked your face into his chest.

"Goodnight." He said softly, stroking your hair slowly.

"Night, Joel." You mumbled into the soft fabric of his shirt, before passing out again, leaving him to lay alone with his thoughts in the cool night.

Thank you sm for reading, I hope you enjoyed! Likes, comments, and reblogs are always appreciated and requests are open! 💞

Tags - @rosierogie @jjlevin

[bigtreefest]

Chapter 2: Heartbreak on the Map

From: Bigger Houses Series

Pairing: (Future) Mountain Ranger! Ari x Reader, Ari x his ex mentioned

Summary: It’s okay to grieve and sulk after a breakup, but at some point, you need to gather yourself together and find the things that make you the happiest, best version of yourself. This is Ari trying to do that, but not perfectly.

Word Count: 1,643

Content/Warnings: Mentions of excessive alcohol consumption, heartbreak and descriptions of how it’s dealt with, Ari being reckless but lucky, lovesick/hopeful thoughts despite a previously broken heart, angst high key stress me out, but did I just write some???, lmk if I missed any

Author’s Note: I honestly like this chapter way better than the first one. I’m not sure why it just flowed better and was way easier to write, despite being shorter. As always, likes, comments, reblogs, and asks are very appreciated. Please send me an ask, I’m begging.

Dividers by @animatedglittergraphics-n-more

Below is the song this is based off. I strongly suggest you listen, not only because it helps give vibes, but it’s also a really good song with creative lyricism.

< Prev | Series Masterlist | Next >

Ari’s breakup

This barstool knew his name by now, as he sat there sometime around midnight nursing another longneck beer, alongside a couple abandoned whiskey glasses. He’d asked around town if anyone had seen her. That girl. The one that did him wrong, left him here sitting like an old, sad country song. That kind that bars play all night long on the jukebox. He’d know that’s what they play, he was there every night. He didn’t know where to look anymore.

Ari had no idea where she could possibly be at this point. Could have been west of Texas, east of Tennessee, but he didn’t care. Because all that mattered was that she wasn’t here with him anymore. It all went south, and maybe she did, too, as he watched her taillights fade in a dust cloud. No goodbye kiss. Ari was left to wonder, with only whiskey on his lips.

He had hardly slept in weeks. The beer and whiskey sometimes had the opposite intended effect, not aiding his sleep, but keeping him up to overthink. The truth was, he knew why the relationship ended. It wasn’t his fault, and he could tell it wasn’t meant to be from the start. But he was mostly happy, and he thought that’s what he deserved: to be mostly happy and to settle down because it seemed that was all she wanted. But that’s all he was doing: settling. She never pushed him, unless it was to find a way to make more money and support her, but Ari didn’t truly want that life. He didn’t want to come home to a perfect little housewife. But she wanted that. And she kept pushing, and he kept molding himself to her demands, because love is compromise, right?

No. Not if it’s only on one side.

Despite knowing better in the back of his head, Ari convinced himself there was something he could do. Making use of another restless night, he threw the covers off and shuffled out of the bedroom and into the rest of his small shack of a cabin provided by his ranger job. He found himself sprawled at the dining room table with papers scattered all over, a magnifying glass in hand. He had looked through his old maps, trying to find all routes she could’ve possibly taken, but instead, all that he saw was heartbreak. She put it there. He leaned back and stared at the ceiling, letting out a deep sigh in frustration. Frustration of wasted years, frustration at himself for trying to talk himself into something he knew was wrong. That’s why he never got a ring, even when she pushed. He knew it wasn’t meant to be. So she left, for someone who had her ring waiting.

Losing her was heart wrenching, but also, a relief. Slipping out of your uncomfortable shoes and unbuttoning your pants after a six-mile hike kind of relief. Ari knew the one for him was still out there, but that didn’t mean he wasn’t still hurting. He needed to recover the places she’d been with new memories: starting with the living room. No need for the bedroom, at least. (Another product of the voice at the back of his mind that knew she wasn’t right.) So he flopped down on the couch, tv low in the background, staring up at the ceiling, humming one of the heartbreak songs from the bar until sleep embraced him.

Ari woke up with cramps in his back and a sore neck from curling up on the couch that was just barely too small for his tall, broad frame. It was still dark out. His phone was plugged in at the night stand by the bed, so he walked over to the kitchen. The clock on the stove read 5:48 am. Might as well start getting ready for the day. He put on a pot of coffee and opened the fridge to look for leftovers to heat up. While that was going, he shuffled back to his closet and slipped on his uniform, ready to start another day in the only place that gave him true peace: the mountains. (Luckily, the only other place she hadn’t tainted. She hated the out doors.)

Ari’s days carried on like this for weeks. Wake up too early. Make coffee. Go to work. Come home. Try and sleep. Look through old paper maps. He loved routine, it often kept him sane, but he was spiraling. He needed to figure out a new one. He was sick of moping around and he was sick of putting himself down like he had done something wrong. How was she still able to hold him back after being gone? He was going to start living his life for himself again. He needed to find the schedule and the things that truly made him happy. But first, dinner.

A few months later

One of the routine things that kept Ari sane now: cleaning the house. He needed a true, clean slate, so we went and cleared off the dining room table, nicely refolding the maps which had laid there for months. Despite him having been single for so long now, he kept them there. They used to give him peace and comfort. Ari liked his old, paper maps. It was easier to see it all laid out instead of crammed onto his tiny phone. His place was a lot like that: full of things he could do with his hands, like mini projects, instead of being glued to a screen all day. But she had tainted it: she tainted his favorite things. It wasn’t as bad now, but his nervous evergy kept building up and he needed to get out of there so he didn’t scream.

Another aspect of Ari’s healing: working out. Any time he got like this and couldn’t stand being in the small space anymore, he ran. He ran until he drove all those what-ifs and doubts out of his mind, along the mountain trails and out to the cliffs where it was just him and the sky, overlooking the small town below, dwarfed even more by the mountainous elevation. He slipped on his tennis shoes and bolted out the door as quickly as he could. The mid-week afternoon air was refreshing. All he could focus on was go farther. Go faster. He kept running and running, through the trails, and didn’t even have a second thought to look when crossing the road, the music blaring in his headphones making him unable to hear any cars approaching as they went along the mountain path. As he stepped out onto the road, Ari saw movement out of the corner of his eye and his head snapped. Before he knew it, anhorn sounded and a car swerved around him, skidding to a stop as it pulled over on the narrow mountain pass. Ari jumped back into the greenery lining the road, surprised at his own recklessness that he usually preaches against. Another SUV pulled over right behind the first as he heard a driver’s side door slam shut. He could faintly hear a conversation between two women, followed by one of them emerging from between the cars.

“Oh my gosh! I thought you were a bear! I almost hit you!”

Ari was in shock from how careless he was and how he watched his life flash before his eyes.

“I-it’s really my fault. I’m not sure what I was thinking.”

He stood there with wide eyes, hands on his hips, shoulders rising and falling quickly with heavy breaths, truly in bewilderment at what had just gone down, as well as bewilderment at the woman standing before him. Something about her was so captivating that he had to force himself to look away after taking her in, hoping she didn’t think he was a creep from his reaction.

“Um, it’s ok, I just think you need to be more careful. Listen, I don’t wanna be pulled over on this stretch of road for too long, God forbid a real bear, or someone without good reflexes comes around, but, I’m glad you’re not hurt. Take care.”

And with that she rushed away, leaving Ari standing there in shock before he could even squeak another word out. He watched her and the trailing SUV until they rounded the bend and went further up the mountain.

Huh, there was only one house Ari knew of up there. It’s where an older couple used to stay during the summers, and he had only been inside once to help fix something after they sought out the ranger in his cabin, but he remembers it having the best view he could imagine, despite the cabin’s modest size. It was pretty much the perfect home. What a was she doing going up there?

Realizing he had stayed standing eerily close to the road for too long, Ari decided it was probably time to head back since the sun had started to set. He trudged through the tall trees and deeply inhaled the sharp pine scent that opened his airways and comforted him as it wrapped around him like a blanket. This was his domain, and he truly enjoyed the sanctity of his environment, but he still wished he had someone to share his favorite things with. An equal partner who appreciated this environment as much as him, but still had their own wants and didn’t force him to be what he wasn’t.

As he made his was back to his front steps, Ari looked up at the unobstructed stars that danced into the sky during his long walk home, shining brightly like every night. He couldn’t help but wonder if the one for him was looking up, sharing the same sky as him. The one who could one day share his heart.

Next >

[dnpbeats]

omg PLS share any other philslion tweets that sound like dan. after reading the one about flooding in australia it’s impossible to not read them in his voice afsjdkdkj

I KNOW!! tbh that was the nail in the coffin for me, it was just such a dan thing to do 😭 okay!! here's loads more, none of them really prove anything on their own but certainly all together I think it supports that dan could've run the acc

this tweet, not sure what it's "answering" as the tweet before it doesn't have any questions. but we all know how scared dan is of spiders:

tweet mentioning being a dinosaur I think we all know how that relates to dan. the link is a screenshot of a subscribe button, tbh idk how it's relevant to the tweet but lol:

tweet which just has a lot to unpack tbh. a little bit nonsensical (☑️ dan), about "finding a new lion [companion]" (☑️ dan), ends up just being an emo tweet (☑️ dan), plus bonus bc we literally just had Phil tell us that he and dan are pretty much the same person!! like looking in a mirror in other words! (also peep the typo lol, dan has a whole vid on them. I also swear there's a vid where Phil makes fun of dan for a typo "you did a typo" but idr which it is):

tweet that quotes lyrics from the sound of music. this would've been around 1am on nov 11 for d&p. they were together nov 6-9 and again starting nov 29 (lmk if you want screenshots of the timeline, this is when they both posted a bunch of sad tweets about missing each other lol) so the lyrics fit with dan missing phil but knowing he was gonna see him again:

also this tweet about missing someone during the same break (first line is a beach boys lyric):

then there's this tweet. the "break" is just referencing the fact that the acc hadn't been used in a few months. but Imo "I had a little trouble with my insides" sounds like some sort of mental health thing:

there might be more I missed bc I kind of went through the account out of order lol. I'll post if I find any more :)

[beautifulpersonpeach]

I like the sound and vibe of On the Street, and I respect and can appreciate J Cole’s writing, but I’m confused about why that was the message chosen for this collab. Army is bombarding comment sections by repeating that it’s a ‘see you later’ song because Hobi is enlisting, but other than the chorus, what about these lyrics conveys that message? Their verses feel like they belong to separate songs to me. I’m not trying to be disrespectful, facetious, condescending, or sarcastic here, I really am confused and would like to understand, and I would appreciate any insights you might be willing to share.

I did see one comment on YouTube that said: “I heard someone say they wanted a second verse from J Hope but then they realized he did give us a second verse… in his first language, dance. And he did it beautifully” and I think this is my favorite take so far. Thank you for your time (sorry if this ask is dumb).

*

Ask 2: Can you pls review On The Street BPP?

*

Ask 3: Oh Hobi T T... OH JUNG HOSEOK T T... Oh this song T T...,,, Ugh my heart! Our sunshine, thank you for this wonderful music, experience, and feelings. You got me to the finals. I hope you can watch after me today, too. lol I LOVE YOU JUNK HOSEOK. I hope you are happy. I hope your toughest struggle is something you can overcome. I hope your sweetest memories have people who truly love you to share with if you so wish. Hope the world to you J-HOPE!!!!

*

Ask 4: I don't want to be rude but "as the moon jumps over the cow"??? Wut?? Isn't J Cole supposed to be some good lyricist? I saw khh and kpop fans questioning this collab and this lyric in particular and I think they're right. BTS should stop giving khh a bad name because now people will hate kpop.

*

Ask 5: Hi BPP, a lot of people are offended over J.Cole’s verse on atheists being stupid for not believing in a higher people, which further proves to me that they take everything a person says to be something to be Personally offended over, not an honest expression of ones thoughts. And why I think a reason why so many arent listening to true hiphop, true rap, the same ones that the rap line no doubt listened to… It just symbolises to me that these same people are so used to the sanitized version of music that a lot of kpop produces too because jcole’s verse wasnt even that bad honestly… i don’t know, it just came across to me as the same reaction religious people will have when you tell them god doesn’t exist, and a lot of people wont take issue with that too. I know I don’t as someone who belives in a god same way I don’t care that jcole thinks atheists are stupid lool I don’t know im just seeing the hypocrisy and them being unable to let art be art, let music be music.

*

Ask 6: heyya bbp~!

first of all, congrats to our hobi for another great track!!! haven’t been able to stop looping it bcuz it’s that good!! not only is army loving it, i’ve also seen jcole fans saying good things too and some really checked out hobi’s discography and were impressed,,which is what i’d call a successful collab! out of curiosity i checked the khiphop reddit to read what theyre reactions are but no surprise they only praised jcole and wanted other khiphop artists to have done it instead of hobi hah! i’m surprised that they’re still as snooty towards k-idols turned rappers,,but at the same time snooty ppl be snooty lol. but i’m curious if korean khiphop fans are still turning away the rapline’s work? esp hobi since he’s really made an effort to flex his skills in jitb,,i only ever seen ifans’ opinions and they’re hardly the representative when it comes to khiphop hah!

ofc whatever they’re opinions are it doesn’t impact hobi and suga and rm’s work in the long run,,especially since they’ve earned enough respect from their idols to be able to work with them,,i’m just curious! thankss bpp!

***

These six asks more or less cover the range of questions I've been getting, so I've collated selected asks here to answer all at once. :)

Hi Anon(s),

I'll try to keep this short.

Overall and Abridged Review: On The Street for me is a solid 10/10.

The Lyrics (as I understand them)

Anon in Ask 1, first I’d like to refer you to Hobi’s interview in Variety where he talks about the song (linked here) and I’ve posted an excerpt screenshot below.

*

Personally, rather than On The Street having a “see you later” message (probably inferred from Hobi waving goodbye to a kid in the opening scene), I see it more as a song marking a pivotal moment in both Hobi and Cole’s careers, as Hobi reflects on the paths he has walked to this point even as he continues on this street called life, and J. Cole wonders out loud if it’s time for a change, to grow beyond his identity as a rapper. It only feels like a “see you later” song in the sense that it will be a companion song, for me personally, while Hobi serves and until he returns from enlistment. I agree with the interpretation in the YouTube comment that Hobi is also storytelling/writing his second verse through dance while J. Cole is rapping, and that this is a beautiful way to see it too - but I’ll expound more on this below in Dance and the Message.

Anon in Ask 4, J. Cole is a brilliant lyricist and it’s funny you mentioned that line in particular because when I first heard it I nearly burst out laughing at how witty and brilliant it is. That line is an example of a classic Jermaine pun. I’ll explain: A lot of people grew up learning nursery rhymes, and one of the more popular ones I recall is Hey Diddle Diddle, which has the rhyme “the cow jumped over the moon”. This nursery rhyme is also the source of the English expression to be “over the moon” I.e. excited, elated, happy. J. Cole took that children’s rhyme and flipped it on it’s head to then mean the passage of time, “as the moon jumps over the cow”. He uses it to express time passing merrily for him as he contemplates his next career move. It’s also an absolutely brilliant way to rhyme with the previous bar that ends in “Golden Corral” (which is easily one of the sickest burns in his verse).

Anon in Ask 5, I agree with you almost fully. Outrage is the name of the game and has been the zeitgeist for at least 5 years now. Like what are you doing on the internet in 2023 if you’re not here annoyed, mocking something, being critical, and raging about something else? Even if that something is another autonomous human being expressing their opinion on God on their own song… Personally, when I come across HCP personalities online, I ignore them. If they interact with me I tell them they’ll somehow find a way to manage and cope, and we’ll all be alright in the end. In the case of this song, ignore them. They'll deal.

*

Dance and the Message (as I understand it)

Hobi's verse in this song is only 8 bars. J-hope practically gifts this song to J. Cole who spits 32 solid bars on this track. We all know J. Cole - a veteran in the rap game who has earned respect from everyone from Hov, Ye, Kendrick, down to avantgarde heavyweights like Jay Electronica - is one of Hobi's idols and so it's heartwarming to see the way Hobi expresses his respect for J. Cole, dancing underground while J. Cole raps on top of a building with nothing but the sky above him.

J-Hope dances the entirety of J. Cole's verse, just feeling himself, losing himself to the music while his idol spits fire. It's so fucking decadent. At the end of J. Cole's verse, Hobi walks out of the subway and climbs to the top to meet J. Cole as equals.

Hobi begins the song in an NYC alley that opens up into a main street where Hobi performs the song's main choreography on. This is the same location in J. Cole's Simba - the song that starts the Simba trilogy in J. Cole's discography, which was the first main track on J. Cole's debut mixtape The Come Up that established him as a force to be reckoned with on the American rap scene at only 22 years old. The setting alone is a callback and homage to J. Cole's beginnings, on which Hobi raps about his own path, wanting to repay those who have helped formed him into what he is, and the hope he has going forward.

Hobi has done something like this before, calling his first mixtape Hope World reminiscent of J. Cole's debut studio album called Cole World.

*

The Media and the Message (as I understand it)

One thing I absolutely adore about BTS's songs and music videos, is that they infuse them with the sort of depth that only comes from intimately knowing and respecting the subject matter, and they do so in such a subtle way that it's obvious they expect whoever is watching to actually know both the artist and the subject. They don't spoon-feed anything to the viewer, just present the art as is and if you've done your homework, that means you're their target audience and you're right in the middle of it with them. In the Variety interview I linked above, J-hope references his documentary (Anon who sent me the ask to review it, I've only seen clips and I'm yet to watch the full thing. When I do, I'll write about it 💜), where it shows Hobi meeting J. Cole and how he struggles but ultimately communicates his adoration and respect to Jermaine, and how Jermaine graciously receives it.

Take for instance how Hobi approached Chicken Noodle Soup originally by Bianca a.k.a. Young B who at the time she made that song and its iconic choreo, was only 16 years old. The song went viral but most of the royalties went to her uncle and she received almost nothing, she never got signed to a label, and was so badly burned by the industry that she only attempted making music again nearly 10 years after Chicken Noodle Soup. Hobi credits that song as one of the catalysts that sparked his love for hip hop and street dance. He reached out to Bianca and paid full rights (not just for a sample), to her (not her uncle), to use the song, and the music video is peppered with references to Harlem, NYC, where the song and dance originated. Showing that level of courtesy to smaller Black artists is rare in the US and virtually unheard of in Korea where the Korean hiphop (KHH) community is more notorious for wearing Black drag and appropriating a history of violence and a wealth of culture that they know absolutely nothing about, except that it looks cool.

When k-pop stans wax lyrical about how BTS is racist or does a Blaccent (this personally makes me chuckle because the people you often see saying this are white people who couldn't tell you the difference between an affected accent by a non-native speaker and a Blaccent if each slapped them on either side of their face), or that BTS doesn't have the respect of the Korean (or American) hip hop scene, et cetera, I chuckle and move on. Because as I've said, none of these people actually know what they're talking about.

The OGs of the KHH scene recognized the talent of BTS's rapline since debut, and have only expressed more respect for BTS as the years have gone by. I'm talking Tablo, the rest of Epik High, Tiger JK, etc. The Jay Parks of the world took some time to catch up, and if 'studio picture-gate' is any indication, they too have quickly come around to recognizing where they fit in the landscape relative to BTS. Rappers are generally egotistical people. They usually spend their time rapping about how they're the shit. What earns you respect is if you can actually back that shit up. And once you have that respect, you don't feel threatened by another rapper because you know anyone who gets to the top has had to earn it. It's what informs the mindset of "real recognize real". Namjoon, Yoongi, and Hoseok passed that hurdle, in my opinion, way back in 2016 with the release of Cypher Pt 4. Everything they've done since then is just jarra. And those at the very top, the Black rappers who imbibe the culture and history of rap music, have long recognized the rapline of BTS for what they are.

Personally, I love the song. The music, the whistling, the chord progression, the jazz and acoustic guitar instrumentation. Everything about it is perfect.

On The Street is an excellent example of what sets BTS apart from other idols and artists in Korea for me. This is a song conceived 100% in the mind of Jung Hoseok, and the seamlessness in execution, the maturity inherent in the respect paid to those whose music and culture they use as a medium, is present at every single point in the song. It's tastefully done, and 100% driven by the artist, and all I can do in the face of art like this, is respect it.

[currenthyperf1xat1ons]

here’s some out of context song lyrics i think relate to malevolent podcast/john and arthur/their situations as a way to convince you to listen to the podcast (and listen to the songs too ig):

the entire song ‘metaphor’ by the crane wives

“you silence them all, just remember which fragment you keep them in” - gold by james marriott

“I been feeling this awful since I hit bottom and said ‘hand me my shovel, I'm going in’” - half decade hangover by will wood

“i’ll tell you my sins and you can sharpen your knife” - take me to church by hozier

“please believe me when i say i poured my whole past down the drain, say that a second chance is a chance i could take” - half decade hangover by will wood

“I still don't know who you are, I only know that I'm still lonely. That morbid sort where even company can't cure me and the more you reassure, the less I trust” - against the kitchen floor by will wood

“there’s really just one thing that we have in common, neither of us will be missed” - saint bernard by lincoln

“but i’ve never felt more comfortable in the concept of things ending” - ramblings of a lunatic by bears in trees

“well aren’t we ‘us’ sharing pronouns now? so how could we separately heal?” - when somebody needs you by will wood

“are we allies or enemies? this will be the death of me” - allies or enemies by the crane wives

“see how the brain plays around, and you fall inside a hole you couldn't see […] Someone help me understand what's going on inside my mind” - the mind electric by miracle musical

“when it all turns you sour, only love can turn you back” - caleb trask by the crane wives

“and they'd find us in a week when the cattle show fear, after the insects have made their claim, after the foxes have known our taste, I'd be home with you” - in a week by hozier

“i’m sick of your kind, and i know that you won’t find me on the other side” - the other side by james marriott

oh also if yall have any more song recs pls drop them i need to be insane /pos

spoilers for part 20 beyond ⚠️⚠️⚠️

“don’t you think it’s kind of cute that I died right inside your arms tonight, that i’m fine even after i have died because it was in your arms i died” - arms tonite by mother mother

i had to include it 😋😋😋

[jacksprostate]

boss pls elaborate on the songs you used.!!!

- superfan anon

Warning: under the cut is a lot of rambling with only mild incoherency!

So like I said it's sort of chronological...

How to Boil an Egg is very much her discontent building up in her current life. All the lyrics are spot on lol it was an easy pick I stole from my friend. Most of these songs I stole from my friend

Cubicle is again that sense of displacement and upset that drives her to develop someone that gets her... She wants someone to do anything. Push tacks in her eyes. Bring her into their nest and regurgitate worms in her mouth. She wants to be led somewhere, away from the void of fucking nothing that is her life right now

And Breeding is also so spot on haha. Only edit required is change Barack Obama to your president of choice during her lifetime. Trying to procreate without fucking and breeding <- trying to make Tyler, tbh. And of course the opening brings to mind the space monkey and 30 yr old boy thing. That in itself I have thoughts on how it would get inverted for female fight club but that's neither here nor there.

Pedestrian at Best is them living together.... Pretty much the verses are the narrator, self critical and lost and a mess, and the chorus is Tyler — all that but confident and a bit of a shithead.

It won't be with me on my deathbed, but I'll still be in your head

Put me on a pedestal and I'll only disappoint you

Tell me I'm exceptional, I promise to exploit you

Like. It hits that aspect of Tyler so well. In contrast, verse:

I'm resentful, I'm having an existential time crisis

What bliss, daylight savings won't fix this mess

Under-worked and over-sexed, I must express my disinterest

The rats are back inside my head, what would Freud have said?

So. Yes it's Them :) (and of course, something to be said about how Tyler parts are really just the narrator's grown projections etc)

Wonderful Hell — Oh you wanna start a revolution and destroy the world so bad haha fight club fight club perhaps even Project Mayhem.. in an idealistic way

Dogma literally just sounds like Tyler lecturing lol

Chamber for Sleep (Part Two) OK so THIS one I feel is a little more opaque in the connection but also works REALLY well if I explain a little. It's the narrator... Especially during Projrct Mayhem, when she's losing Tyler's attention. She wants Tyler's attention so bad. She wants it like she died and Tyler cares. Grieve as if I died and I'll become a fragment in your mind <- she does not know Tyler is a fragment in hers... She wants so bad to mean more. I'd like to love me like you seem to, how do you hang this heaven over me <- Ok fundamentally even though Tyler treats the narrator shitty sometimes, even in base novel like... what Tyler does is ultimately all for the narrator. Creating this heaven for the narrator. No matter how twisted. Even in the book, Tyler's big martyr thing — it's because the narrator wants to die and doesn't want consequences. With feamle fight club, too, a big part of my little canon for it is that Tyler really invests in the narrator developing her own strength. Tyler wants her strong. Hungry. Tyler feeds her meals with protein and carbs and cares for her like a lover. But Tyler also abandons her. Tyler has close little conversations with Marlon that the narrator just barely can't hear but sre loud enough to keep her awake all night hearing how Tyler's relationship with someone in this house is deepening, and it's that undeserving fake, Marlon, not her. She wants to be more important to Tyler SO bad. 'Braid my hair to yours and drag us blind' come on. No matter how short Tyler's hair is that's Them. + Nail me to the bed

Relating to a Psychopath — a lot like Pedestrian at Best's chorus... sort of making Tyler into this extremely confident and charismatic heavily flaky and flawed idol. Constant back and forth between the narrator being good company and mocking the narrator for caring about her so much.

Glass House — god, this song. As my friend said, 'the narrator after realizing Tyler is basically a brain parasite'. Obsessed with this song in general and also specifically for them. I have nothing to say you can only experience it

This Tornado Loves you <- like I said earlier... everything Tyler does is really for the narrator, at the end of the day. Even if it hurts. Like a tornado. But also, reflectively, the narrator now feels this way about what she's done to everyone around her.

Horseshoe Crab is her in the psych ward.... She's unfamiliar to herself. She's learned, but god. Nothing is the same. Especially not her. Wishes she could do it better. Be better. For her? Tyler? Marlon? The women in fight club? Probably all of the above. She's dissociated from herself.. a bit lost. So much learned, but lost. This is the song that inspired me to make the playlist.

And then you cycle back.

[idiopath-fic-smile]

inspired by fictitious band The Shotguns from @greatunironic's steddie epic the most remarkable thing. album art from the super talented @bienmoreau (thank you!).

in this track, i wanted to grapple a bit with the notion of this fic's eddie being canonically Jewish. speaking from my limited experience of growing up not-christian in a tiny rural conservative midwestern town, it's a challenging way to grow up! (in my case it was Unitarian Universalism, and i'm not gonna pretend that's in the same universe as being Jewish in this kind of setting. i mostly got shit for not believing in god, which is of course very different from getting shit for being part of a religion that has been persecuted in horrifying ways since basically its inception.)

but yeah, the experience of kids at recess telling you confidently and self-righteously that you're damned is. really something. i don't mean to shit on christians here, because no religion has a corner on hypocrisy, but it's the kids confident in their own goodness who can really torment you sometimes, and isn't that just the way?

add a queer identity on top, and you've got a recipe for a lot of baggage about the notion of who gets to be framed as "good" or included, and who gets banished. (there's also a line in here about dreaming that is absolutely a reference to @greenlikethesea's ONE MORE EROTIC NIGHTMARE ABOUT YOU, so pls check that out if you haven't yet.) there's something in here too about pride as an act of defiance, in the face of being told for a lifetime that you don't matter.

the other thought i had was that there are so so many people who don't fit the conservative christian definition of "worthy" that if all of the excluded folks got together, they could throw one hell of a party.

Lyrics below the cut!

I was six when I learned I was damned to hell —no cross around my neck, no cross around my neck The holy children told me where all the demons dwell and I was headed next, I was headed next

Said I'd be spared if I loved their savior A lifetime on my knees and good behavior trade heritage in hope of heaven's favor When I said "no," they didn't love their neighbor

My hometown held that I deserve a pit of scalding flames that's how you know they're blessed, how you know they're blessed Tried to write another but the chorus was your name I'm not here to confess, not here to confess

The path they walk is narrow and extreme And I'm exiled a thousandfold it seems The Jewish metalhead with interesting dreams (only for you would I go to my knees)

I am the banished and I am so famished

Someone saved our fucking lives and did it without prayer The best kids that I know, the best kids that I know The girl with a buzzcut and her friends beyond compare that family will grow, family will grow

When everyone is kicked out but the righteous the rest of us can reshape the detritus And we will dance like devils in the night mist when it's our sins that wholly will unite us

We are the banished and we are so famished

We are the banished and their walls will vanish

[bukaters]

Today I finally had the time to go sit on a bench and take some sun in while listening to TTPD. Overall, I'm not very impressed, but I think Folklore kind of ruined things for me because I'm always expecting Taylor's albums to be as good as that one and they always fall short. Still, there are some beautiful lyrics in this one. I'll just leave here some random thoughts and some of my favorite lines:

"So Long, London" truly is "London Boy" 's depressed sister. I think what makes it so sad is how well the lyrics convey the exhaustion that comes when all hope is dead and you know something is over for good no matter what you do

"My boy only breaks his favorite toys" should be an anthem to those who've been discarded after being used by someone (also love the Barbie reference)

"So High School" has got to be the most annoying song that's ever been written

"I can do it with a broken heart" is heartbreaking. Fame and stardom must be such sad and lonely places to be in - which brings me to:

"The Prophecy" = you can't have it all. I don't like this way of thinking (love the song) because it kind of looks at life as an either or thing. Taylor, girl, maybe you can have it all so stop howling at the moon (jk, pls never stop)

"But daddy, I love him" = massive eye roll. Hate it.

"Robin" is BEAUTIFUL and about protecting one's innocence from the pain of growing up.

My favorite bits under the cut

Say it once again with feeling How the death rattle breathing Silenced as the soul was leaving The deflation of our dreaming Leaving me bereft and reeling My beloved ghost and me Sitting in a tree D-Y-I-N-G (How did it end?)

If the glint in my eye traced the depths of your sigh Down that passage in time Back to the moment I crashed into you Like so many wrecks do Too impaired by my youth To know what to do (Chloe or Sam or sophia or Marcus)

I wrote a thousand songs that you find uncool I built a legacy that you can't undo But when I count the scars, there's a moment of truth That there wouldn't be this if there hadn't been you (thanK you aIMee)

The coward claimed he was a lion I'm combing through the braids of lies (loml)

A greater woman stays cool But I howl like a wolf at the moon And I look unstable Gathered with a coven 'round a sorceress' table A greater woman has faith But even statues crumble if they're made to wait (the prophecy)

I stopped CPR, after all it's no use The spirit was gone, we would never come to And I'm pissed off you let me give you all that youth for free

For so long, London Stitches undone Two graves, one gun I'll find someone … And you say I abandoned the ship But I was going down with it My white knuckle dying grip Holding tight to your quiet resentment and My friends said it isn't right to be scared Every day of a love affair Every breath feels like rarest air When you're not sure if he wants to be there (So Long, London)

Put me back on my shelf But first - Pull the string And I'll tell you that he runs Because he loves me. Cause you should've seen him When he first saw me.

My boy only breaks his favorite toys I'm queen of sand castles he destroys (My boy only breaks his favorite toys)

You got the dragonflies above your bed You have a favorite spot on the swing set You have no room in your dreams for regrets You have no idea The time will arrive for the cruel and the mean You'll learn to bounce back just like your trampoline But now we'll curtail your curiosity In sweetness (Robin)

[bitchin-witchin]

Been listening to the shin gojira soundtrack and ofc I can't help to think of childe when hearing the lyrics for Who Will Know. The first soprano verse i think of his childhood self in the abyss. Then when the bass verse comes in on the second repeat of the first I think of his new self putting the old to rest by carrying on in the face of what almost to anyone else ever would be unbeatable adversity.

Lyrics:

If I die in this world, who will know something of me?

I am lost, no one knows, there's no trace of my yearning.

If I die in this world, who will know something of me?

(But I must carry on. Nothing worse can befall.)

I am lost, no one knows, there's no trace of my yearning.

(All my fears, all my tears, tell my heart there's a hole.)

I wear a void, not even hope.

A downward slope is all I see.

I wear a void.

(As long as breath comes from my mouth.)

Not even hope.

(I may yet stand the slightest chance.)

A downward slope.

(A shaft of light is all I need.)

Is all I see.

(To cease the darkness killing me.)

DUDE EVEN LIKE "I wear a void" HIS CAPE.... THATS HIS CAPE ISHFNFJF. "A shaft of light is all I need to cease rhe darkness killing me" FINDING AN EXIT BACK TO TEYVAT... CELESTIA DELIVERING HIM A VISION... LIKE THE DOTS ARE CONNECTING THEMSELVES.

It also makes me think of an idea where his abyssal powers have grown more and he's closer than ever to being something godlike (the use of like is mportant here) but at the cost of continous suffering. In Shin, gojira's crazy nuclear waste-mutated biology makes it possible for him to evolve in real time at insane speed to combat the humans trying to kill him, but it's not really a conscious choice, it's his body forcing him to live under constant new stressors. Perhaps childes ascent in power comes at a similar price? I'm not thinking exactly the same since Shin's story is very much like its own and not something to be directly transferred to childe character. But the feelings of despair and desperation, continuing to live through agony because what else can you do, what else could there be that is any more painful? That could very well be Ajax's story in the abyss.

Basically this is all just a big excuse to daydream childe growing into a super awesome disgusting foul legacy (which you could make a connection to shin again that this form is the visual representation of how the powers which manipulate teyvat have hurt the world and who's actions could lead to its destruction (the recipe of events which led to the creation of whatever childe becomes) but maybe that's a bit much considering this gets into even more ambiguous and self catering hc territory LOL)

But really I just want to imagine him being a tragic figure who can also cause so much damage and have cool powers that make him suffer MOAR. I'm not usually big on whump but I do love a character suffering while still being very powerful and destructive huehue.

I would love to write a fic that expresses this connection to/inspiration from Who Will Know but I'm not sure how I would approach it/what it would even be. Best idea rn is a fic that would require so much plotting and planning and p much being written all before posting which would take me YEARS considering it already takes me a year or more to write one to two chapters of something 😂😭 if this is inch resting to anyone pls feel free to reply/reblog I would love to discuss and entertain current/new thoughts with others <3 unless you're just gonna poo poo on this then I won't respond. bc who wants to talk to someone about why that someone thinks the idea you expressed liking in the self-identified self-indulgent post is lame and stinky. Not me. LOL. Even if it's a cringe idea to others. who care. We living our best cringe life out here posting like this. Fucked up evolved foul legacy hc has transcended beyond cringe <3

[misc-obeyme]

hello hello, its sibling angst anon again ^^ i loved your response so pls dont apologize for the long ramble, bc i get like that about it too!! also, im glad you liked my song recs <3

speaking of those sibling slideshows i mentioned, for some reason tiktok has filtered them out so when u look them up, they dont show up??? you just kinda get them on ur fyp one day. or atleast thats what happens to me. but if u look up sibling webweaving here on tumblr, ohhh boy. its basically an amalgamation of different types of media be it poetry, song lyrics, shows and movies, and book excrepts all packaged as one that pertain to a theme. my fav is those about mothers and siblings, so unequivocally human. its like walking down a museum tbh.

and agh, i loved your thoughts on the demon bros sibling dynamics. plus yeahhh, its kinda hard to take anything seriously since it is an otome game, BUT who says u cant come up with your interpretations and thoughts? whos gonna stop you? anyway, each brother has a level of depth that is screaming to be fleshed out, but its all very surface level on game. belphegors burdening shame and regret from watching lilith die in front of him, and by extension beelzebub having the same feelings and/or his own guilt. (i remember belph talking about his trauma and the immersion immediately breaks off when an option pops up on the scream, "ask him to kiss you." LIKE. place and time!) asmodeus and lucifer, their entire relationship T_T speaking of which, satan and lucifer?! they're brothers, or say they are and the rest just kinda go with it. but does no one else wanna bring up how satan was even brought to existence? he was literally birthed from luci's wrath during the celestial war. thats like, a gateway for someone to write a long philosophical analysis about him and what it symbolizes. aghhudhwdhwhd i wish i could say more, but i'm literally out of words rn. if i was mc, i'd have to fight everyday to keep it together without breaking down and crying about this. espeically having to live under the same roof as them...ooofff

speaking of complex siblings dynamics, have you see succession? its a show on hbo. its about an ultra rich and powerful family that is ultimately, dysfunctional. theres four siblings and their relationship mean sooo much to me. i wont drop any spoilers just in case you dont know anything, but when i say dysfunctional i meant it!! one of the things i like about this show is that it doesnt have any flashbacks or show the backstories for most of the characters, rather they kinda drop pieces of information randomly and you just go ??? that happened ??? youd think it wouldnt be a good storytelling strategy bc how are you going to emotionally connect the story to your audience? but somehow, the show does it really well. for example, one of the brothers, roman, was heavily abused. and sometimes one of his siblings would go, "yeah i remember when dad used to heavily beat the fuck out of you" offhandedly, like its a cute little fun fact. and youre sitting there like....when did THAT happen??? ofc they wouldnt show it, but if you watch how roman and his father interact on show (roman is so submissive and scared next to his father) it starts to make sense. its like the "show dont tell" but they switch around to "tell and show." subtle interactions like that fully exposes a characters psychology. subtle body language goes a long way. theres also the eldest brother connor, whos seen as the father figure bc their real dad is so neglectful. but tbh connot gets shit on a lot and uuyfuefehfe theres more. i would talk about this all day. sibling angst got me on a chokehold.

anyway, sorry if i made 0 coherent sense but heres the end of the ramble T-T have a good day :3

(if i come back, can i be  🧬 anon?)

Welcome back! And of course you can be 🧬 anon, I will add it to the list!

Oh man, so I did a search for sibling webweaving and I was like woah what is all this lol. I had no idea there was a term for stuff like this, but I'm fascinated! I must not be getting the TikTok videos... admittedly my use of that platform is limited lol.

The thing about the otome game not delving into things means that we all get to speculate and come up with whatever we want. It's a blessing and a curse lol. On the one hand, I like being able to come up with my own interpretations. But on the other hand, it'd be nice to have just a little more depth that what we have.

I have thoughts about Belphie and specifically what happened in the OG with him. That was definitely a situation of, there is so much more going on here than they're bothering to get into. I also get that they can't really do a ton of that, partly due to the medium and partly due to the amount of characters they have to deal with. Like I think they can only choose to flesh out certain characters and the rest kind of end up on the back burner. Which is annoying because there's so much potential for so many amazing stories!

I also have a lot of thoughts about Satan and his relationship to Lucifer and everybody. It's like they give us just enough to make the story dramatic, but in the end everybody loves each other and so on and so forth. I'm not saying both Satan and Belphie shouldn't be able to reconcile what happened to them and move on, but it just happens so fast. It seems too easy. So I kind of headcanon it as, they hide everything. Not just those two, but all the brothers have a certain level of trauma that they just bury deep or at the very least don't display in front of MC. I know they make MC out to be the demon therapist, but nobody resolves their issues in one session and that's all they're normally limited to. But of course they don't have time to get into things that deeply in a mobile otome game lol.

I have not seen Succession! It sounds pretty intense. I think it's always interesting when media use different techniques to tell their story. Of course I have very little knowledge of how TV scripts are written, but for story writing, the way a character reacts can imply all kinds of past history, even if you don't know exactly what happened. Flashbacks are helpful, but I think it's interesting to have a bit of a mix. A character is always going to tell the story of their past a little differently than how it actually happened. And I find that it can reveal a lot about character just to see what they change or leave out when telling it. Of course, who they're speaking to can affect that as well. But it's definitely an interesting concept!

No worries, you made plenty of sense lol! You are always free to come back to my ask box if you so desire! <3

[jimimn]

I know, I know, but my brain didn't connect the things 😭 it never does when it comes to bts spoiling their stuff lmao 😭

Ahh I know what you mean!! It does feel like we know him better, and I will forever be grateful that he chose to show us this side as well. I'm very curious what he'll do in the future. I think he mentioned somewhere he will make brighter songs in the future? Idk I might've just imagined it. But I'm still happy he chose to talk about these things. We already knew how much the pandemic affected him (khm mots:e khm) but I feel like we know even more about what he's been through? Especially in Alone.

Yes, the promos were so good!! I still haven't watched the beat coin ep or the radio one, I only saw clips but I'm hoping to catch up on them soon!! I can't believe it's Jimin era and I'm missing stuff 😩 the music shows were so good??? I loved every performance my god and when he went on the actual shows and we could see him get his awards 🥺🥺🥺 and hobi coming and bringing him big bouquet of purple flowers 😭😭😭 pls he deserves every win he ever got and will get. I'm telling you the year end award shows are going to be crazy, we thought last year was bad when it was bts vs jimin vs hobi vs I don't even remember who was nominated 😭 and now it will be joon vs jimin vs yoongi vs hobi vs tae & jk if they release 😭 the girlies are gonna be fighting for those awards.

I have to admit I actually hated the fancalls akdjjdkska and I hate that Yoongi will do them to. Like OKAY the thought and intention behind them ARE SWEET OKAY. But I hate that 90% of them are just literal weverse army mentality of "jimin marry me". I did see very sweet ones too!! And I'm glad people were actually talking with him and congratulating him and everything but I will hate fancalls forever I'm sorry 😭 if it was up to me I would not let them do them, like I'm sorry sweetie but save yourself from the cringe 😭 Although that person who played set me free on piano was amazing, love that for them ❤️ but I did see someone dress up in a literal wedding dress, so no ❤️

I KNOW every song he put out was literal crack. The MVs were insane. I actually haven't watched the mujin one either 😭😭 what kind of Jimin biased am I 😭😭 I hate having a life

I know what you mean 🥺 with Indigo and JITB I could very clearly choose favorites, and songs I didn't like that much (all of them are really good but sadly I have to have taste and preferences 😭) but with face I really struggled 😂 Not that I was trying to dislike any song from any album!! But I think if I had to choose one, I would choose Alone. No, I would definitely choose Alone. I fucking love that song and love the lyrics and his voice and the message and how I can relate to it and everything. I'm currently obsessing over 'Mayday, get me out of here' overlapping with the 'Day and night' line. But I can definitely say that I resonate with every song. I love his album and most importantly I love HIM and I hope nothing bad ever comes to him and fuck everyone who ever wronged him and I wish him nothing but success 💜 Idk how he can be any more successful than right now but oh well 😭 - 🦋

adding read more hehe<3

Yes he did mention that. Oh and definitely. Jimin rarely ever showed us or talked to us about what he was going through during that time except during the mots on:e endingment. God that had been a punch to the gut. But seeing the jimin of today who put all that hurt and pain so beautifully into an album that I'm sure resonates with so many people in so many different ways, I've never been prouder. Him saying that he has healed from those feelings just made me so happy, you know? 🥺 also face era kind of left me feeling empty. Not in a negative way but a 'what do I do with my life now' kinda way. Empty as in we saw soooo much of Jimin during this era that I was like "Ok what now? now that i won't get to see jimin what nowhdjhdj???" which is... kind of pathetic of me tbh but i can't help it bc theyre my constant source of happiness u know? like little breaks in my otherwise dark life rip. I'm so glad we have yoongi's promotions soon otherwise idk what I would have done 😭😭😭

I've watched half of the beat coin ep and I'm waiting on the subtitles for the radio show to watch it hehe (although i HAVE read all the live translations). AND PLEASE. The way the members support each other just makes me bawl every single time. Like even after knowing so well how much they love each other, when they do these things for each other, it just makes my heart sob. Pls when bts members get nominated for and win all those awards 😎 next bts is bts 😎

Oh ngl me too. Like yeah most of what I saw were really nice and cute and they complimented him and congratulated him but the others ... the one girl who was like oh but the name of my boyfriend is park jimin. stfu pls you got one minute to talk to him and THATS WHAT YOU SAID????? corny cringey grosssss and pls don't even get me started on the wedding dress pls i will start yelling out profanities. I really fucking hope to god no one says yoongi marry me during the calls 😭😭😭😭 but obviously i just know there will be some dumbass who will do it anyway.

And its okay you can watch the content on your own time. There was a lot so don't beat yourself up for it if you haven't had the chance to watch them yet 🤍

And yeah same. I really struggled with Face too. All the songs are my taste 😭😭😭 Alone makes me cry so much lol. Sometimes when I'm listening to Face and I'm not doing anything else while listening, I open the lyrics and read them (even though I probably know them by heart by now) and I always choke up. Same, I really hope he never has to go through these feelings ever again :((( he deserves all the happiness and all the success and even more. I'll always wish nothing but the best for him <3🥺

[kpophubb]

Morning sunshine~ ✉️ ( you got a new delivery 🚚 ) 😌😍

~ 🐁

Hi my love 🥺💗 gonna make a super long letter (if it doesn’t fit here ima make another post)🤭☀️ *loving the delivery sm that I rush to my delivery box*

First of all baby boo, here is my Pinterest acc link (the personal one) incase the link doesn’t work, the username is @ mzr__ those are my initials lol. 🤭

Okay so, let me start replying, I love love the slow jazz music you suggested, it’s so chill I feel so relaxed. All it makes me wanna do is play it, go to some vintage coffee shop, read books and do journaling to my heart’s content. It was such a fresh breather I love it. 🥹

Yes yes, I took those pictures of 🌙⭐️ I really love taking pictures sm I always take pictures and capture my memories and feelings. Here are 3 pics of some of the most beautiful places I’ve seen (I have more but there’s a picture limit here sadly) the marina bay sand and gardens by the bay sg and inside masjid al haram in ksa, mecca. 🥹 I took them obv.

Chu anonie 🐁 would you like to talk elsewhere with me? Like maybe on discord or telegram, you don’t even have to use or share ANY PERSONAL INFO W ME, you can create a username like hyunnie or sth hyunjin related and use his dp. I’ll search you up w that username and talk there. The SOLE REASON I’m proposing this is cause you sometimes ask me personal questions like where I live, and I REALLY WANNA TELL YOU BC I TRUST U SO MUCH!💖 but on here, everyone can see them and I don’t feel safe sharing personal info online. I feel like I’m shutting you out when I don’t answer those question of yours that’s why I’m saying so. But ofcourse baby love if you don’t want, we can keep talking here as usual!! <3 just the pic and personal content will be less sadly bc of other audience reading our convos 💔

I also really like aesthetics and aesthetic people so so much, you can see my personal Pinterest , I’m obsessed w aesthetics lol. Idk artsy and aesthetic people ARE SO DAMN ATTRACTIVE, I love hyunjin’s artistic side it’s honestly so admirable. Art museums have so much passion in them, I’d love to visit one. I love artists the most in this world, bc damn, their minds are one captivating museum themselves.

Aww pink shades?🥺 those are such cute lip shades baby!!💗 pink shades don’t suit me however 🤡 bc of my Asian golden skin, nude browns suit me the most!! My most fav lipstick is sand storm by wet n wild bc it appears a brown nude on my face, and I use another lip liner by another brand I can’t remember ;;-;;! Those are my go to, tho I always end up eating my lipstick w food AND MAN, THAT IS SO UN-FEMININE and lame of me istg😭

I heard the song by Rihanna! I really like your very diverse music taste, it’s attractive honestly! You have such a diverse, exploring and adventurous mind that I always get fascinated by it. I just love hearing you talk in general. You feel like it’s always a mess but to me, they aren’t at all. When you talk, it’s like you’re splashing colours from every direction, diff colours bc you change topics and share feelings abruptly but know what that leads to? AN ART PIECE. A FASCINATING ART PIECE with different splashes that capture your feelings that over all lead to a precious and artistic masterpiece. 🥺

Keshi is my fav singer atm istg!😭 his songs are my comfort songs, the low voice always gets me and I love his lyrics. They’re never super direct and you can’t understand if he’s referring to a certain someone or certain feeling, I find it so cool!! Other than skeletons, I also love angel, 2 soon, less of you, beside you, understand etc. <3

Gabi?!😭 PLS I WAS OBSESSED WITH NIKI AND GABI when I was like 14? I loved their what’s in my bag videos, night routine and shopping hauls so much ahah cause those were the trends back in those days. But I haven’t seen them in a new while, I’ll be sure to check out how gabi is now! Vintage stuff? Ok that sounds interesting🤩

About Valentine’s Day~ I didn’t feel like dressing up and pls people always raise the price of flowers and cake during ocassions🤡 so I don’t buy em at all. But if you’re gonna talk to me on Valentine’s Day, can I dress up for you?🙈 I love dressing up for my loved ones, should I wear a red top and get loose curls and surprise you with pics? 🙊 if you say yes, I’ll ofc try our date~🌹

Omg anonie I love red & black and then baby pink so much too!!😭 wow we’re a match! Light baby pink and white are like my comfort colours I swear.. feels so relaxing !

Also age I feel like is just a number. You don’t really get wiser or mature with age for some people. Some people are so immature and mean even in their 40’s while some people are so mature and calm when they’re 17. As you said, it’s in the way you’re raised, in the people you surround yourself with. And personally me, I get along w everyone starting from aunties to 5 year old kids😭 I’m way too friendly, I only have romantic age preferences but when it comes to making friends, I’m open to having any aged friend. 🥰 when it comes romantically, I just really like same aged people (I mean not the same year but preferably a year older or two.) that’s why, Jake is like the best person for me hahah. I’ll tell you why I prefer that tho If you’d like to know.

And omg who’s troubling you😡 he’s such a creep!! I’ll come beat him up!! 🔪 pls try to stay away from creepy people, men are just so scary ffs😭 I don’t even talk to them bc I’m genuinely frightened and always question their intentions. Ofc good men exist, but I am a bad people magnet smh so yeah🤡

You do journaling? Omg I’d love to see🥺 and move out next month love. All my work is done now, I just need to rent an apartment and they won’t let me do it this early since my semester starts from March 27. Foreign students can only rent an apartment right before their classes start.

About your and my anniversary hmm🤭👩‍❤️‍👩 I forgot too bc I have trouble remembering dates!! And no, wonie’s bday is the day after i.nnie’s it’s on 9th. As for our belated anniversary gift, I have a surprise to make it up to you! Face reveals for you?🙊 (yea those pics will probably be from the ancient times I dressed up for Jake’s bday lol🤡) but anyway! Surprise at the end of the ask. 💗

One time I sprayed perfume in my eyes too!! Happens omg💀 but I hope the burning sensation simmered down baby!! Be careful next time. And omg yes pls, I watched titanic and the ending T-T but I’m like a huge sucker for tragic romance, forbidden romance so yes I LOVED IT!!

Anyway, I’m so sleepy it’s 11 pm here only tho but I’ll BE WAITING DESPERATELY FOR YOUR REPLY WHEN I WAKE UP IN THE MORNING bc your texts really brighten up my day! And first thing in the morning really feels like the first warm ray of light peeking through my window!🥺💛 I’d ofc love to show you my poetry and what not, but like I said I can’t really post em here!!

Sooo, wrapping it up with an 𝕴 𝖑𝖔𝖛𝖊 𝖞𝖔𝖚 𝖘𝖔 𝖒𝖚𝖈𝖍 💛☀️

Your anniversary gift 🎁 (that I’ll be removing right after you see from this ask ) sorry for disappointing you bc you really think I’m like an angel, but no I’m sadly just a mere girl! </3

[beloved-swiftie]

songs I desperately want taylor to play when she comes to europe

our song (country taylor I cannot wait to meet you)

I'm only me when I'm with you (<3)

fearless (underrated classic)

you belong with me (the first song I ever heard by taylor. I cannot tell you how many times I watched that videoclip. I even downloaded it on my iPod. yes I'm that old.)

love story (I mean, do I even need to explain?)

sparks fly (drop everything NOW)

back to december (iconic. also fun fact I always thought the lyric was: maybe this is wishful thinking, probably my last dream and, if you love again, I swear I'll love you right)

enchanted (PLEASE DON'T BE IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE ELSE)

long live (I need to hear it live at least once in my lifetime. I'll do anything)

the story of us (!!!!!!!! fave song when I was 12 and honestly kinda still)

treacherous (pls)

style (please acoustic version. I'm begging)

wildest dreams (you see me in HINDSIGHT, tangled up with you ALL NIGHT, BURNING - IT - DOWN, someday when you LEAVE ME, I bet these MEMORIES, FOLLOW - YOU - AROUND)

...ready for it? (in the middle of the night...... in my dreams..... AH)

I did something bad (if a man talks SHIT then I owe him NOTHING)

delicate (one two three LET'S GO BITCH)

gorgeous (I saw a live version on youtube and I cannot stop thinking about it. the audience singing the *ding*. so iconic. I wanna be part of it)

call it what you want (one of the most romantic songs of all time. I listen to the snl version every day)

new year's day (please don't ever become a stranger whose laugh I could recognise anywhere)

cornelia street (the live version from paris haunts me. I NEED to hear it in person)

death by a thousand cuts (see above)

cruel summer (I LOVE YOU AIN'T THAT THE WORST THING YOU EVER HEARD)

paper rings (such a bop!!! nobody can convice me other wise)

the man (honestly hear for that pause when she sings so it's okay that I'm maaaaad?)

london boy (my friend and I were in london this summer and we were playing this song pretty much the entire time)

cardigan (but I knew you'd linger like a tattoo kiss, I knew you'd haunt all of my what ifs, the smell of smoke would hang around this long, 'cause I knew everything when I was young, I knew I'd curse you for the longest time, chasin' shadows in the grocery line, I knew you'd miss me once the thrill expired, and you'd be standin' in my front porch light, and I knew you'd come back to MEEEE)

this is me trying (the song that truly understood me)

august (you know you want to, taylor)

betty (taylor, please say fuck)

'tis the damn season (now I'm missing your smile, heart me out)

long story short (I'm so here for the soft: long story short, I survive-ived at the end of the song)

no body, no crime (if she does it, the performance will be ✨iconic✨)

right where you left me (fave song. ever.)

mr. perfectly fine (HOW'S YOUR HEART AFTER BREAKING MINE)

that's when (such a bop)

I bet you think about me (I listen to this song every day)

all too well (10 minute version) (obviously)

anti-hero (sexy baby)

you're on your own kid (bringing the tissues)

karma (I just KNOW she'll love performing this live)

would've, could've should've (GIVE ME BACK MY GIRLHOOD, IT WAS MINE FIRST)

(in order of release date)

@taylorswift @taylornation