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bansheeoftheforest · 3 years ago

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Hi, hello, Ghost AU but Rachel, Jasper, Edward, and Henry are all ghosts from different time periods haunting the Society because their final resting places were in the buildings that came before the Society or something, where the Society was started by Robert.

Rachel is a cook/maid from the early Middle Ages who likes to bake at night. The Lodgers are all completely flabbergasted as to why there are tasty meals ready for them that none of the staff Robert hired take credit for.

Jasper is a shepherd from the 2nd century, back when Celtic tribes still lived in England pre-Anglican era. He enjoys tending to the animals, and any Lodgers with pets often find them dozing in piles around an empty circle as if someone were sitting there.

Edward is the youngest of the ghosts, having been murdered during the early Victorian era and had his body buried on the empty plot of land that the Society was later built on. He's an absolute scoundrel and pranks the Lodgers constantly.

Henry was a navy surgeon during the Edwardian era who is absolutely fascinated by Victorian modern medicine and science. He also has a huge crush on Robert and often tries to help him with paperwork and make him tea whenever he falls asleep, leaving Robert very perplexed when everyone keeps asking to meet his 'mysterious yet charming co-founder'.

Robert soon finds the answers to the pranks, the cooking, the animals, and the help by walking into a room while the four are bickering and discovering he can see ghosts. Cue Robert trying to subtly ask Maijabi ghost stuff while trying not to have a breakdown and also not admit that that ghost in the ship surgeon's uniform is kinda cute.

JAHAJHASJASHDASD

JEKS I GOT THIS ASK AND I IMMEDIATELY TORE OUT MY SCHOOL LAPTOP FROM THE CASE BECUASE I WAS SO EXCITED T ANSWER THIS OK I LOVE THIS SO MUCH??? ALSO HENRY BEING A NAVY SURGEON HELL YES

Rachel still loving to cook, yet no matter how much she cooks ingredients never seem to disappear despite warm, tasty (and if not a bit old-fashioned meals) appears for the Lodgers to feast on. No Lodger ever goes hungry and Robert's staff quickly notices that they really don't have to cook as much as they do, as it seems like meals mysteriously appear. Lodgers explain it as the staff being kind but not wanting Robert to know that they cook extra and the staff thinks it's the Lodgers or Robert buying more pre-cooked meals. Maybe she died during a raid on the building she lived in if she worked for nobility.

Jasper being a shepherd and loving to take care of any and all animals, especially the mythological/supernatural ones because they fascinate him. Imagine him having been a werewolf regardless but like that one post about a werewolf shepherd because I love that post. The animals are constantly being fed and pampered and the Lodgers think their pets are being aloof, when in reality they are just getting so much attention from Jasper they almost ignore their actual owners. Maybe Jasper died because of an animal, or because of bad werewolf health care (i know nothing about the 2nd century in England, I don't know how they'd feel about werewolves dhdh)

Edward loving to pull pranks and yet being so fascinated with all the scientific stuff in the Society. He keeps tinkering and messing with the machines and devices and he keeps fucking them up without meaning to, yet he takes credit for having done it intentionally anyways. He loves to move the Lodgers' stuff and steal their shinies and just be a general menace, almost like a poltergeist. Doors opening and closing, windows and glass surface getting broken, he is just a scoundrel that keeps bothering the Lodgers for shits and giggles, literally, as he always will giggle when he has successfully pulled a prank but the Lodgers think it's the wind or someone else giggling. Perhaps he died in a barfight or similarly to Eli, where he got chased by the cops and the Society was where he died, before the building was built?

Henry being so kind and loving and fascinated with science, just like Edward, yet he is much more careful and is more likely to accidentally steal medicine and supplies from the infirmary because he got curious about all the new things and got carried away. Whenever a Lodger gets hurt, it always seems like there conveniently is painkillers, bandages, and disinfectant by them to patch themselves up (or if they, say, gets so hurt that they go unconscious and no one notice, they somehow wake up in the infirmary completely patched up without anyone even knowing that they were hurt). They always feel so much safer and calmer after having gotten hurt because Henry watches over them to make sure they rest properly and take care of themselves. Whenever a Lodger stays up too late, Henry will gently start to nudge them to go to sleep to take care of themselves and just be generally helpful. Plus, him having a major crush on Robert and being absolutely smitten by him. Robert constantly feels watched but not in a scary or uncanny way, it just feels pleasant. Paperwork all being done and neatly documented and stacked and sorted, his office always being clean and neat and tidy no matter how messy he left it, letters from his father that would have upset him to read conveniently goes missing and ahah whoopsies would you look at that it seems like there has been burning paper in the fireplace. Sometimes he will come back and it will look like someone has taken out books or wine bottles from their shelves and started to shuffle through then but he keeps convincing himself that he accidentally left them there. Maybe Henry died because he got infected by a sick patient he treated, and the land where the Society is on is either an old graveyard, an old dock, or a medical ward where he worked when he wasn't out at sea?

Robert getting so accustomed to the supernatural, or him just being born with somewhat of an inherited ability to see ghosts and supernatural (or if the ghost quartet just somehow manage to leave their forms noticeable to Robert when he walks in on them) and Robert realising that the Society is being haunted by not one, but four ghosts while they previously had thought there was only one, if even that. Him having a bit of a breakdown realising he can see ghosts which he definitely shouldn't be able to. Him subtly trying to ask Maijabi-- what if Maijabi already knew but never said anything because he thought it was amusing to see Henry trying to ghostly flirt with Robert and following him like a love-sick puppy? Or if he didn't know because he never bothered to check so he and Robert go on a bit of a ghost hunt. The other Lodgers quickly hearing the rumours and jumping on the opportunity to hold seances and contact the ghosts. Just... Good fucking god I love this so much. Jeks i'm going to platonically kiss you for coming up with this. If you'd ever draw this I'd give you my soul Oh m J gyg dddod,d,d

#ask #thejeksburyguy #banshees au #ghost au #banshees faves #im main tagging this becasue i love it so much im not even kidding #tgs #the glass scientists #tgs au #tgs ghost au #the glass scientists au #the glass scientists ghost au

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kxttenxx · 4 years ago

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Introduction to BDSM

So I recently opened up to my boyfriend about my various kinks and fantasies, but as someone who had previously no idea about these things he was highly confused and had a lot of questions. After explaining he was a lot more comfortable and open to things and we could experiment and create a list of limits and likes etc.

I found the easiest way to explain was to create a list of sorts and so have decided to share it here for others who are learning and or want an easy way to explain their kinks.

If you want to know any more then feel free to message me with questions and queries about the kinks or your own relationship!

Table of contents:

An introduction to BDSM

dominant/ submissive

sado/masochism

Specific Kinks:

Breath play

Pet play

Heat play

Knife play

Bondage

Consensual non consent

Impact play

Humiliation

Degradation

Roleplay

Hair pulling

Toys

Deprivation

Sensation play

Brat Taming

Dirty Talk

Aftercare!!!!!

Links to videos and useful information!

An Introduction to BDSM:

Safety:

Keeping safe is the most important thing within BDSM, so throughout this entire thing I want you to know that for every single kink and scene there are some vital necessities.

The first of these is a safeword. This will quickly end a scene and allows the sub control over what they are and are not okay with.

Sometimes you may be unable to speak so visual cues are also needed such as tapping three times or clicking fingers. You must constantly be on the lookout for these and never ever ignore them.

Some forms of kinks such as choking requires practise and others such as bondage require actual safety tools such as shears to quickly release the sub from the restraints.

Limits are also hugely important. BDSM is about trust and exploring new experiences, but knowing your partners limits and what they are not okay with is a must before partaking in any scenes, for example I am Not okay with anything that should remain in the toilet.

Dominant/ Submissive:

As far as the simplest explanation goes for this, there are often roles within BDSM relationships, the most common being dominant and submissive.

A dominant enjoys being in control and a submissive serves and obeys.

However there is much more to it than this, not only is there a variety of different types of doms and submissives as well as switches/ verse, it can also include their roles outside of a scene (a term used to describe the consensual acts of bdsm with exchange of power being a common feature - referred to this way as bdsm is often roleplay or a representation of creative display)

For this I would recommend checking this link for a huge list of different types of doms which will also list their type of subs: https://www.google.co.uk/amp/s/amp.reddit.com/r/BDSMAdvice/comments/bvqc7p/types_of_doms/

Sado/Masochism:

Sadism is the sexual pleasure or gratification in the infliction of pain and suffering upon another person.

The counterpart of sadism is masochism, the sexual pleasure or gratification of having pain or suffering inflicted upon the self, often consisting of sexual fantasies or urges for being beaten, humiliated, bound, tortured, or otherwise made to suffer, either as an enhancement to or a substitute for sexual pleasure.

Sadists enjoy inflicting pain whether or not it is sexual in nature. Masochists enjoy receiving pain, which, again, may or may not be sexual.

Pain and pleasure are closely linked, the feeling of euphoria and the pleasurable burning sensations of impact play being an example of this. A good website explaining the link between the two:

https://www.bbc.com/future/article/20151001-why-pain-feels-good#:~:text=The%20link%20between%20pleasure%20and,to%20induce%20feelings%20of%20euphoria.

Although simply just the physical pain can provide pleasure, there is also frequently a strong emotional aspect to the sexual desires, taking the form of a need for domination or submission as opposed to a simple desire for pain. Like many BDSM acts it is largely down to trust, strengthening the connection and intimate bond.

Dominance and submission is a way of looking at the sadistic-masochistic distinction, a power dynamic rather than a set of acts. Not all masochists are submissive, and not all submissives enjoy pain. Not all sadists are dominant, and not all who enjoy dominating others are sadists.

Specific Kinks:

Breath Play:

People who are into breath play find cutting off air supply through choking or suffocation heightens sexual arousal and makes orgasms more intense.

Restricting oxygen can make you lightheaded/ dizzy but when the pressure is released you feel another type of rush caused by a release of dopamine, serotonin and endorphins that can cause head-spinning exhilaration. Some like the power play element involved.

Breath play can be very dangerous and has its risks.

Communication is vital,deciding non verbal cues beforehand such as tapping three times on your partner or surroundings or snapping fingers if hands are bound. Being aware of your partner’s response is highly important.

For choking pressing the outside of the throat cuts off air and blood to the brain from two main arteries and can lead to pleasure upon release however you MUST avoid pressure on the trachea/ adams apple. Practising is a good idea with this and can be practised upon yourself.

Pet Play:

Petplay is a form of animal roleplay where a person dresses to resemble and assumes the mannerisms or said animal, often kitten, puppy, bunny, or pony. Gear such as ears, tails, masks and mittens are often used as well as collars and leashes.

Some enjoy retaliating against their owners trying to tame/ train them.

Mannerisms can range from losing the ability to speak and instead using physical movements such as head tilts, pawing or tail wagging as indications.

It doesn’t always have to be sexual and when in these headspace cuddles, headpats and stroking or playing with hair, or other forms of affection are often desired. Although as you can imagine leashes come in handy for other things.

Often, but not always, people who enjoy petplay have suffered abuse or have led a difficult life with complications and entering this headspace allows them to relax and be cared for by their owners, and can forget about the problems of the real world as pets are unaware of these.

TemperaturePlay:

Temperature play is a form of sensation play, where substances/ objects are used to stimulate the body’s neuroreceptors for heat and cold. When consented to, temperature play makes the brain start preparing for a hot and exciting experience and puts nerve endings on high alert

It may include water, massage oil, wax , ice, and even incorporates food play sometimes with things such as chilled whipped cream/ fruit or heated chocolate sauce. Sex toys can also be warmed in water or chilled in the freezer.

Safety is still important and keep in mind a safe word or cue. For wax play its important to use massage oil candles or ones specifically for sex as they burn at a cooler temperature and wont burn.

Knife Play:

Knife play uses knives, daggers or swords as a source or physical and mental stimulation.

The biggest misconception is that blood must be drawn when often this is only for extremes. Knife play more often involves cutting off clothes, gently dragging the blunted edge along the body not hard enough to cut, pressing the cold metal against the skin or being held with caution and safety against the neck or body as a form of restriction eg. when pinned against a wall.

Bondage:

Bondage is a form of restraint, where a rigger implements their control through tying up their partner. Typically bondage uses toys such as handcuffs or rope but can also include belts or tshirts etc. This is a great way to leave your partner feeling vulnerable and under your control. Spreader bars could also be classed as bondage.

Suspension bars can be used to tie up the robe bunny off the floor, which when done safely (safety shears and tutorials!) can be exciting and introduces new positions (think sex swing!).

Shibari is a form of japanese rope art and can be extremely beautiful including ties such as mermaid, dragonfly or chest harnesses.

Consensual Non Consent:

Despite being one of the most divided kinks, it is massively common and loved by many. Complete consent is given beforehand and safe words and cues are taken incredibly seriously within this kink. Often saying stop and begging for them to be gentle or stop isnt actually what the sub wants and would be disappointed if it was to end, so having a random safeword such as pineapple that is unlikely to come up in any given context is important.

CNC can be a coping mechanism for those who have been sexually assaulted, knowing they have the power to make it stop at any given moment. In fact the sub has just as much if not more power than the dom in most BDSM scenes.

Its also great for those who are shy about partaking in sexual activities, have anxiety about doing something wrong, or are embarrassed by their bodies as it is giving up all forms of decision making and control that may cause panic. You are entirely in the hands of the dom and know they are enjoying themselves as they simply take what they like.

It also does not have to be entirely taking, the dom can choose to stimulate the sub through oral sex and other means driving them to an orgasm, if their desire is to watch their sub come undone beneath them despite their best efforts not to enjoy what is being “forced” upon them. Often girls may be embarassed about receiving oral sex and this is a great way to overcome that. I personally hate receiving it outside of CNC as I feel uncomfortable and selfish but within this roleplay my reservations and nerves disappear.

It is extremely hot knowing your partner is using your body however they like and knowing that they are finding pleasure from it. An easy way to think of CNC is it being a kink of finding pleasure in their partner’s pleasure instead of their own.

Some ideas for CNC are burglar, kidnap, teacher “forcing” himself on student or simply taking what you want when you want.

One form on CNC comes in somnophilia where the dom performs sexual acts upon the sub whilst they are asleep/ unconscious. Usually this is not full penetrative sex and consists of groping/ touching up their partners body, undressing the sub and touching themselves and ejaculating on their sleeping body or fucking their thighs or tits. It is vital to remember that consent has been given before hand and this must have been discussed to talk about limits and what each person is comfortable with. Waking up and knowing your dom needed you that badly and took what they want can be very sexually arousing and make the sub feel wanted.

Impact Play:

Impact play refers to the use of hands, paddles, whips, canes, floggers or household objects to hit the body. Sticking to fatty areas such as thighs or butt and avoiding organs, lower back and ribcage is key. Paddles and spanking created bruises whereas whips and canes leave harsher marks depending on the force behind them. Slapping is also a common form of impact play. Not only is the pain often pleasurable, especially mixed with softer forms of sensation play such as kisses, feathers or trailing the toy gently over the body before impact, it can be a great punishment and the marks are often desired as a form of ownership. Its one of the most popular forms of power play and can be very exciting. If anything becomes uncomfortable, implement the safeword immediately.

Humiliation:

Humiliation can be a trust exercise, a way of getting over sexual inhibitions (women historically have been put down for enjoying sexual acts however degradation encourages this behaviour and empowers) or as an act of power play, giving yourself to them and being treated how they like and is also a form of punishment.

Humiliation includes the common kink degradation. Bitch, slut, whore, fucktoy, toy, cumslut and plaything are some of the most commonly used terms however telling your partner how pathetic, desperate/needy, and vulnerable etc they look/are is also commonly used.

Physical humiliation can include activities such as forced masterbation, having to ask for permission to orgasm, external signs of ownerships (collars, sharpie words written on body), discipline (restraint - being tied up in humiliating stances, spanking), deprivation of privacy (forced to change in front of dom, not wearing clothes around the house), for petplay being put in a cage, ejaculating or spitting on the subs face/ body.

Roleplay:

Roleplay is a great way to explore fantasies and spice things up. Although BDSM scenes are already a form of roleplay, enabling sexual fantasies such as degradation, you can explore power play in fun scenarios. Common roleplays include: teacher and student, kidnapper and victim,vampire and victim, police and convict - a personal favourite of mine, I love switching between being detained by a dirty cop and me myself taking the role of the cop overpowered by the convict. Roleplays can also be a great way to explore and involve kinks such as consensual non consent or dynamics such as brother and sister or father and daughter. Its important to discuss desired roleplays before hand. To avoid awkwardness me and my boyfriend have found deciding on a time when the roleplay will occur beforehand and then entering our roles without discussing it amazing, for example when he comes home from work he could come in in character of a burglar and pin me to the couch.

Hair Pulling:

Hair pulling may seem vanilla enough however there is a correct method. Move your fingers from the neck upwards and grab a lot of hair, neck hair is stronger than the hair on the top of the head.

https://youtu.be/jGrbs6EJEuU This is a great video on how to do so safely and correctly.

Toys:

At first my boyfriend was offended at the thought of me wanting to use toys but quickly realised this was purely down to him wanting to be enough and understood that toys can actually make things a lot more fun!

There are so many different kinds of toys I thought I would just list a few of my favourites but I would strongly recommend looking up more and finding out what works for you!

Vibrators: THESE ARE AMAZING! There are also many types of vibrators including wands, clitoral, rabbit (external vibrator and gspot toy), and long distance vibrators. The best long distance ones come with an app allowing the dom to control exactly what the sub feels and can be so fun to use in public or over phone calls. Vibrators are great for those who struggle to orgasm simply from penetrative sex and need clitoral stimulation and are fabulous edging toys.

Dildos: These do not mean that you’re not big enough! They can be used for double penetrative sex, and come in so many different varieties, dragon dildo anyone? They’re always a great way to get inventive in the bedroom.

Glass wands: These are smooth and sleek and are a great option for those who can find penetrative sex painful and want to start off easy. The glass can also be cooled making for an interesting time.

Nipple clamps: When you’re ready for a rush of endorphins release the clamps! These can also be so cute and decorative.

Deprivation:

Deprivation can be both physical and sensory. I’ll go into more detail on sensory in sensation play but think along the lines of blindfolds and handcuffs.

Physical deprivation is just as fun and intense. A form of this is orgasm denial, bringing your sub to the edge and then pulling away. This can be used as a punishment or a way to achieve a powerful orgasm if you eventually allow one. Another form of punishment comes in being deprived of the dom. My boyfriend now loves tying me up and touching himself until he finishes on my chest, not letting me touch or help or taste him as it drives me mad.

Sensation Play:

Sensation play is all about enhancing or restricting our senses, the most common form being touch and sight. Touch could include such things as feathers, impact play, heat play, or the deprivation of touch eg being cuffed to restrict them touching the dom or the dom not touching the sub. Restricting sight with blindfolds heightens other senses making your body more responsive to touch and sound. Sight could also include watching porn or each other masturbate together. Taste is always fun, with food play being hugely common in this area, whipped cream is always a fun way to spice things up, even flavoured lube could come in handy here. Restricting sound along with sight creates a new dynamic and often increases the fear and excitement of what will happen. However sound is more common in the use of dirty talk or moaning and swearing. Hearing the doms excitement and need can be hugely attractive. Often doms will enjoy hearing their sub moan, whimper and in some cases scream and cry in pleasure and pain.

Brat Taming:

A brat purposefully goes against the demands of their dom, teasing and pushing their boundaries and rules to encourage harsher punishments. To tame a brat it is not simply about the punishment but to get them to admit what they did through domination and make them apologise. During punishment a brat may refuse this and antagonise the dom further eliciting a harsher punishment, exactly what the brat is after. A brat will not admit defeat and apologise unless the dom earned it and proved their dominance and control. Personally I need a strong dom or I will grow bored of teasing and how easy to manipulate the dom is and no longer be in a playful or excited mood, instead going to watch tv and cuddle. Brats do not want to be in control but are wanting and giving the dom permission to take more control by acting out.

Common bratty behaviour includes sarcasm, playfighting, finding loopholes in tasks and rules and attempting to take control. A brat isnt going to sit whilst you try put cuffs on and will want you to give them no other choice. Once the dom has proven that they have the control, the brat will happily obey and call them master.

So why do brats do this? Well yes it is partially down to enjoying the punishments, pain being pleasure to them. But it is often down to trust, brats have often been let down and made to feel unsafe by others so by proving your control you are proving they can trust you to take care of them and give in to their truly submissive side, seeing you to have earned their respect and submission.

Being a brat is not always sexual, and brats will often act out even when cuddling with hopes of the dom shutting them down quickly, followed by a soft kiss or ruffle of the hair making their attempt appear almost amusing. This is because the sense of security is needed always and small acts of dominance provide comfort allowing the brat to relax.

Dirty Talk:

Dirty talk is hugely important in the bedroom, and can even be used to bring a sub over the edge without the need to touch at all if used well. I found the easiest way to break down dirty talk is into three categories: praise, degradation and manipulation.

Praise: This can range from moans/ swearing that allows your partner to know how good it feels to you, to phrases and sentences praising your partner. “Good girl”, “God that feels good”, “just like that kitten”, “You like that?”, “You’re so hot” etc. These make your partner feel assured that what they are doing is good and can strengthen affections towards each other.

Degradation: This is more often used in scenes and asserts dominance and control over the sub. It can also reassure them as it lets them know how much you want them and their body - often people who are shy and nervous enjoy this due to it taking away pressure to be perfect. Great examples of this are “Such a desperate slut for daddy”, “look how pathetic you are begging for me princess”, “You’re just my little fucktoy”, “Bitch, stay still.”

Manipulation: This use of sarcasm and threats works well on brats and subs who enjoy knowing they have no control, and can easily be put in their place. It may seem wrong but again provides comfort and is a huge turn on as fear can be exciting. I find it helps my worries I’m not enough or he doesnt really want me as the dom is clearly the one who wants it. This is phrases such as “You want to be a good girl for daddy, dont you darling?”, “Don’t make me hurt you princess”, “Awh whats wrong? Can’t you handle it?”, “Bend over and stop being a bitch or I’ll make you wish you’d been good”, “Oh you’re going to regret that Kitten”, “Stay still whilst master uses his pet, we wouldnt want you getting hurt now would we?”, “Shhh little one, daddys just taking what’s his.”

Aftercare!!!!!!!

Importance:

The importance of aftercare can not be stressed enough. After a scene or sexual activity aftercare is used to calm the sub and bring them down, reassuring them of their safety.

Without this comfort, kinks such as degradation risk being mentally exhausting or damaging so gentle words and kind acts are used to differentiate between actions in scenes and reality. Depending on the kinks explored and the subs preferences, different aftercare may be required so it’s a good idea to talk about this before engaging in any scenes.

Ideas:

Soft words: pet names and asking how the sub is doing is always a good form of aftercare. They may struggle forming words or sentences often worn out or still in a state of euphoria but gentle sighs and smiles can be confirmation of how they are.

Physical reassurance and love: forehead kisses, playing with their hair or holding a dub in a comforting cuddle can provide a much needed feeling of safety and love. A subs body isn’t unlikely to be shaking or weak, their heart still racing and mind in a state of pleasure this is a good way to ground them and bring them slowly back to reality though keep in mind any bruises or sore areas.

Blankets and pillows: soft and comfortable settings are a must!

Food and drink: sweet, sugary foods such as chocolate, candy or soda are useful to have on hand to provide energy. You may also want to keep a glass of water nearby and any storable favourite foods are also a good idea.

Plush/toys for cuddles!

Sometimes scenes can get messy and it might be a good idea to run a shallow bath and gently bathe your sub so they can relax properly after.

Links to videos and useful information!

Evie Lupine has a very informative Youtube channel that discusses safe BDSM practises and different kinks. https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCHExB-d5s0zBcbsaHEUy91Q

Another similar channel that discusses bondage and other kinks along with tutorials is Watts the Safeword https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCokRyLsHxh-NykvT4uA6n2g

Beg for jay has some great videos but I’ve decided to link their one to CNC https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wQZcqMazFnI

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steve0discusses · 5 years ago

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Yugioh S4 Ep 15: Yami Joins the Bay Area Tribe By Throwing a Riot About Sports on Caltrain

So as you’ve probably guessed because of my lack of posts--I got kinda busy with life stuff and just got hit with this really nasty flu at the same time. Yes, I am in a Coronavirus-affected area but no, I don’t have it and I am not dying (although I did do the right thing and quarantined myself anyway, much like a whole lot of the Bay who are just...working from home. Traffic’s been great.) It’s just that every January/February I tend to fall apart and get the flu so bad I lose my voice for 5 days. This year was 6 days. I just catch the flu a lot, but at least I get my shots so it’s not as bad as it would have been.

So, I took a hell ton of Nyquil and Dayquil and while I’m...functional...I don’t know if any of this make sense. So forgive my rambling. I usually ramble, today I’ll be like...hella rambling. About TRAINS.

So anyway, Lets talk about Yugioh.

Lets board a Californian train!

Yugioh has decided that out of every vehicle they’ve devoted episodes to--they haven’t done trains yet, so it’s train time. Train time...in America...which is not a great place for trains. Like I never really think about it but...people take the freakin Greyhound over trains. Which is wild, guys, the Greyhound is...it’s a state of mind. We ignore trains so much.

It’s just really funny that they left Japan to go to America to ride a train when it’s like...the show takes place...in Japan. The land of wonderful trains. But wtv, they wanted ye Old Western experience.

Anyway, Rebecca really wanted to go on the train with them, but everyone pretty much decided that children were no longer safe on this trip with Yugi and co. The fact that Yugi and co are also children is something I guess we decided to push under the rug. I mean Duke Devlin has a freakin job and a work Visa at 17 so...that’s adult enough, right?

(*in a very Roaring Camp Railroad Commercial voice, and over the dulcet sounds of a banjo* More TRAINS under the cut!)

And then Arthur decided to just really grill it into Yami for some reason.

I think it was mostly to act as a recap but damn, Arthur Hawkins just really seems to hate Yami for killing Yugi. Anyway, lets get a good look at our train.

Surprisingly for this show, they decided not to put us on the Roaring Camp Railroad through the Santa Cruz Mountains, instead, they put us on an actual legit commuter train, and it blew my mind because...it’s the CALTRAIN.

That’s my train! What’s my Caltrain doing in Yugioh!?!?

They even got the paint job right! This is absolutely the Caltrain!

We never update this train. So yes, it still looks like this over 10 years later. It’s very underfunded.

+++THIS IS TRAIN FACTS FEEL FREE TO SKIP TRAIN FACTS+++++

So the Caltrain was originally privately owned tracks--which is how they are really nicely laid out--a private company bought everything/pushed out the old owners before the place got developed. When trains went under, the tracks were purchased by the State and then given to Amtrack to manage. So, Caltrain is strictly property of the State Government but still run by the Federal Government at the same time. Don’t ask me how it works, I don’t know, I just pay my taxes and it goes vroom.

We’ve wanted to extend the Caltrain down to Southern California for a very long time, but because of corruption and a lot of people in politics refusing to expand the Bay out of the fear of maybe dropping our housing prices to reasonable limits, and the fear of making it way too feasible to get more children to Disneyland, the track has stayed roughly the same length for over 40 years.

Overall, It’s less drive time than this duel that takes up this next arc, I’m pretty sure. I’m gonna guess that the duel will be 3 episodes long because c’mon. This is Yugioh. It’s always 3 episodes long, like a Nintendo boss.

Anyway, all these train facts are things that are probably so weird and foreign to places that have ample trains--but in America, we just don’t have a strong train lobby compared to our auto lobby. So, I’m sure that people in Japan making this series thought “Oh they’re on a train--it can just go forever because why wouldn’t it be long? Aren’t all American trains connected?” but uh...it’s a short train. Like we’re talking like a few hours max, and that’s only if they’re starting from Gilroy.

I will say that BART is longer and has multiple tracks, so you would think they’d just take BART instead. But, it goes under the ocean for part of it, and we’ll get to why that would have been a very big problem in this episode later. Also, BART is very gross and no one wants to animate that outside of a horror movie.

But at least they didn’t go way out of left field and take the SF trolley. The Caltrain does actually go pretty fast. It...kind of makes sense. They did actual research into a real thing that we do have.

++++END RANT ABOUT THIS TRAIN AND HOW NONE OF THIS EPISODE MAKES SENSE BUT IT’S YUGIOH SO I WILL IGNORE THAT++++

And youknow...there’s something just so adorable about seeing desert mesas reflected in the window of the Caltrain. It’s just delightful. Because, in reality the entire stretch of the Caltrain is very densely suburban/urban, and the only place where it isn’t surrounded by city is when it’s flanked by the sea.

But yeah, just put mesas on it!

*freakin curtains*

Joey and Tristan hit the “dining car,” which I don’t think is a thing in any form of commuter train. These trains are for trips the length of about 1 extensive Puzzles and Dragons session on your phone, give or take.

(And man, speaking of, the Yugioh PAD collab was so good, guys. Ah man. Been wrecking like every dungeon in multiplayer ever since Bro and I both got a Yugi to put as our leader. He’s basically one of the best leaders in the game right now and I feel like people at PAD were huge Yugioh fans because they were like “what if we made...basically every Yugioh pull into a freakin beast that broke every dungeon in the game?”)

I can’t believe Joey Wheeler went thousands of miles from his homeland and was like “I better drink an American soda” and chose Orange. I mean he might be drinking an Arizona Tea, but I’m pretty sure he thought “ah, Kenan and Kel, right?” and just nabbed the nastiest soda that exists outside of grape.

I feel like I can still taste the orange soda I drank over 20 years ago. It is terrible. It is SO orange. Gross. But at the same time...good? I really don't know with Orange Soda. It’s probably gross.

Meanwhile, Tea decides it’s an appropriate time for Yami to work on his social skills. Now. When he’s visibly grieving after being berated by his Basically-Step-Grandfather and Rebecca.

And then we find out something I’ve never realized before, and it’s that Tea is really bad at social cues. Like maybe even worse than Yami. Like, I dunno how Pharaoh could look more like an angry cat/hedgehog but Tea was not picking up on it.

And y’all I’m not making that up, these are the topics Tea actually came up with for the guy who just saw his best friend die/was very implicit in said murder. Beaches and Bathing Suits.

She got over Yugi being dead like immediately.

Of course, this episode is kind of weird because, much like this show has done so many times already, these guys are still struggling to truly understand that Yugi is two people in one body. Tea sort of comes to this realization as if she...forgot that she has stepped inside his actual head and seen this for herself.

Or maybe it’s denial, but I’m thinking maybe the show did this for the new people coming to the show, to explain a rather complicated thing that took 3 seasons to cement in our minds. But still, it makes Tea seem very forgetful over a guy she should sort of be dating I guess.

Anyway it’s their first real fight. Kind of. I mean it’s hard to tell if anyone on this show is dating, and it’s equally hard to tell if they are fighting, too.

Well, first real fight if you don’t count Zero when Yugi tried to make out with Miho over a card duel, but I think we’re all doing our best to forget that ever happened. Yugi especially.

Or I guess that time she strangled him nearly to death in the nurse’s office when Shadi took over his body. That counts as a fight, right?

Ah. Now we’re on Caltrain.

Don’t take it the wrong way, Caltrain is actually our higher end safe train, compared to our other transit, BART, which will always sit you next to a weirdo, guaranteed. Caltrain--you can take a good nap on Caltrain. BART...you will never feel comfortable enough to take a nap on BART (also because there’s not enough seating room anymore)

But a lot of people who take the train are just freakin WEIRD. I used to take the Caltrain with my older brother (different bro than the bro of this blog, this is my chaotic neutral bro) because we both worked near the same place in downtown SF, and he would always take with him--I kid you not--a 2 liter bottle of Mountain Lightning for a snack.

For those not in the States, Mountain Lightning is the offbrand Walmart version of Mountain Dew. Yes. I know what I said. It seems dumbfounding as Mountain Dew is already an off brand of Sprite--the true lemon/lemon lime--but indeed, like Inception, you can always go deeper, and if there is a soda so bewildering and random, my older brother will be ON IT.

Anyways, my older bro is a train weirdo, so not only does he prefer Mountain Lightning to Mountain Dew, he would take out a 2 liter from his backpack, tilt back his head, and just chug the whole thing straight from the huge ass bottle in front of God and everyone on that train.

He’d polish it off completely on the ride there and the ride back, because my older brother has this weird medical problem where he can’t really feel pain and he has an insane metabolism and never gained weight until he was like 32, so he can just...chug as much soda as he freakin wants. So, at some point of the trip he would have to use the very tiny bathroom, and it would be very urgent, and he’d just scramble over me to get to the aisle and then kind of skip and hop all the way there on the rush hour train that was completely full of people.

Like, most people don’t even know that Caltrain has a bathroom--well now you know, and for several years there, it was just always taken by my brother violently pissing. That was us (well...him). My apologies.

In case your curious, now my bro has hardcore acid reflux, and all he needs to do is stop drinking so much damn soda, but it’s been very hard for him, so he has cut back to “diet soda”. This is still a lot of soda and it still causes acid reflux. His doctor is working on him.

And yes, Diet Mountain Lightning exists. That’s just so many steps removed from Sprite at this point.

Anyways, enough waxing long about train memories, lets get back to the show, because it’s not this season of Yugioh until there’s a problem with the commute.

Unrelated to Pharaoh punching the walls, everyone has “disappeared.”

My bro looked up the Wiki that says there's “no explanation for the missing train passengers” but we all know what that really means on this show, right?

So, how many people fit on Caltrain?

There’s just NO WAY they’re alive anymore, right? Like Yugioh went and killed 756 Bay Area passengers because...it’s a filler season!

I really feel like there’s just no way Seto or Bakura will ever catch up to Darts’ death count at this rate.

After this, we have ourselves this fun train-jumping trope.

Pretty sure it was the superhuman opposing force of Tea jumping from the back train to the front of the train that forced the back to lose all of it’s 100+ mph momentum and immediately come to a full and complete stop.

Not sure how Darts did this thing with the train separating. But he did. Or maybe it was Rex and Weevil? Either way, he somehow managed to do this well enough to strand Joey and Tristan on the other side of the line that now has no engine.

(course I say this like in 1400 AD the Bay wasn’t full of the Ohlone. this place was basically always developed because...the weather’s hella good when it’s not on fire.)

Now if you go East--southern Utah looks like this, and parts of me wonder if maybe the artists thought they were taking the train all the way to Florida. Did the English dub add “we’re taking the train to the airport” because they knew there was no one in their right mind in America who would take a California-Florida train?

I have no other explanation for why the Bay Area looks like this, than to assume that this is an alternate California where there never was a Loma Prieta Earthquake and also one where Seto and Pegasus bought out and destroyed both Steve Jobs and Bill Gates. Which makes Seto and Pegasus sound like just real true heroes, never paving any sort of way for Mark Zuckerberg to happen and unintentionally (or intentionally who knows) screw up our elections.

Or maybe that was entirely Darts? Maybe it was Darts who’s been eating up the Bay, harvesting nerd souls for the leviathan and knowing that no one will miss these Twitter developers if Twitter never happens in the first place. Especially if he’s just ghosting entire Caltrains willy nilly.

But anyway, fun fact about the Caltrain that the creators of this show didn’t know--the train is a push-pull train, so...It has an engine on both sides of the train. Joey and Tristan...still have an engine. It would have never stopped, even with Tea’s incredible backward momentum.

This is normal train stuff and is something you should always assume about a commuter train that cannot afford the time to reattach the locomotive in order to turn around, but we forget about this in TV shows basically all the time.

However, there are fantasy rules that we give to TV that we sort of don’t extend to other places. We suspend our disbelief for things like this train stopping in a track that would, realistically, have another train passing by in 10 minutes anyway. Things like rogue waves that topple over ocean liners. Or CEOs in Silicon Valley who have ass-length blue hair that is tied with one single hair precarious band.

The point at which we no longer can suspend our disbelief when it comes to TV is SO interesting to me. Because I’m fully willing to let go of the fact that Caltrain is A Push-Pull train because it’s still a fun trope although this can never really happen to you on...almost any train at all anymore. But if this were a movie? People would be losing their freakin MINDS. Look what they did after Star Wars. They lost their entire minds over force-field science that doesn’t even exist.

Like, maybe the people who made this episode really do know that San Jose is the 3rd largest city in California, and that this is a push-pull train, and that there are no mesas anywhere near the ocean of San Fransisco. Maybe they did know that--but they decided to suspend our disbelief by pushing this Wild Wild West fantasy aesthetic SO HARD so it makes it believable although this is just...so wrong. Mostly because...it’s fun TV. Not because it makes any sense, but because I would like to have fun instead of thinking.

Which is also how most romance novels work ps. But Yugioh, although *almost* understanding the key ingredient to how romance actually works, I will assume never figures that out.

I hope.

Also, Rex is here.

Bro would like to bring up that Red Eyes is not a rare card in the real world. So Rex is going out of his way to venge a card that costs...$4.50 at Target. That’s less than a meal at McDonalds. This card may have been in a Happy Meal at McDonalds.

*pictured here, the actual canyons of San Jose*

So something that’s interesting between Yami and Joey is that Yami gives in basically immediately and decides to duel Weevil, who would be very easy to just gently push off of this train. Joey on the other hand, looks down at both of his punching fists and is like “why would I bother?”

Not that it mattered, it’s just interesting that even Joey has more restraint than Yami, who has 0 restraint, apparently, when it comes to dueling cards.

Joey has more restraint that Yami, and Joey is the kid who has tried to punch out Seto Kaiba in nearly every conversation he has ever had with Seto Kaiba over the last 4 seasons.

Also, Tea is just standing on top of this train like it’s a completely normal day outside. Girl has no fear.

Wouldn’t these people be covered in bug guts? Like how are they not getting assaulted by so many flies and birds?

But because she has no decent cards the Oricalchos just kicks her out? I dunno. There’s a lot of weird physics in the next scene.

And she just grabs onto a moving train with her bare hands. I feel like Tea is just so woefully overpowered in this group but for the wrong game. I say this a lot. She’s like their One Punch Man but will never, ever know.

So anyway, that was a long time between updates and now I’m out of sync and behind on everything so...hell knows when the next update will be. Depends on the length of episode I guess? Bro really wants to get to what comes next soon though. He’ll pester me until I do it.

Now I can’t mention Mountain Lightning without sharing with you what you do with 2-4 liters of Mountain Lightning after your brother leaves and then just...doesn’t have enough room for all of his Mountain Lightning AND his baby in his car, so he just leaves it in your house.

It’s called Mountain Dew Cake <-(that is a link) and it’s actually pretty damn good.

I made this once and fed it to a British person and they were like “this is so decadent--what’s in this?” and I uh didn’t know how to respond to that other than “it’s really just Mountain Dew, I’m so sorry” and that was a lie, because it was full of Mountain Lightning.

Anyway, if you just got here, this is a link to read these recaps in order.

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shadowthorne · 6 years ago

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This is Caesar. He came to the shelter back in March, surrendered by his owner who decided he didn’t have time for a naughty, untrained, seventy-five pound dog, a dog that he bought as a six week old “German Shepsky” puppy from an “online ad” (craigslist, and a backyard breeder). He took his new puppy, dumped him in the backyard, and never did anything with him again. Caesar is now two and half years old. Prior to coming to the shelter, he had never been to a vet, he had never been indoors, and he’d only been in the car for the very first trip to the backyard from the breeder, and the trip to the shelter. He’s had virtually no contact with people or other dogs, and he’s incredibly under socialized. Because of his poor upbringing, he has all the behavior issues of both breeds that make up the new, ridiculous trend mix; a husky and a german shepard.

There’s no doubt in my mind that Caesar could be a great dog, but he and any future owner have a lot of hard work ahead of them.

When he came in, he was still wearing the too small choke chain he’d had put on him no less than a year ago. It was starting to embed and he had scabs and raw spots from it being too tight. We had to muzzle him and hold him down while we used heavy duty wire cutters to cut it off because it wouldn’t fit over his head.

When he came in, he was entirely untouchable. He growled and snarled and snapped at any hand that got too near. I was the first person to brave his demeanor and start getting him outside regularly, and condition him to a slip lead, which eventually lead to a collar, which in turn meant that more people could get him out. But even after a month or more of other people being able to walk him, no one could touch him. He was fine to leash up, and fine to put back into his kennel. “Just don’t touch him.” It’s his catch phrase at this point. He’s very vocal, and if his strange, startling husky yells don’t scare you away, he’s not shy about head flipping and snapping at the nearest part of you. If that doesn’t work, you end up with your entire arm in his mouth. He’s never broken skin, but I’m the only one that pushes him that far, and I’m his favorite person.

I worked with him every day and it took me months to get to a point where I could pet his head and only his head. And then, on a walk through the woods one day, I sat down on a bench and instead of nervous pacing at the end of however much lead I would give him, he sat down between my legs, and then he realized how good it felt to have his neck, under his collar, scratched. Since that point, I’ve been able to do just about anything to him. I can pull his ears, his tail, I can stroke all the way down his body. I can pet his chest and belly. But no one else can.

All of the volunteers with high enough training to be around him are afraid of him. Leaving his harness on (which is mandatory to use for walks) 24/7 is the only way we can get them to take him outside. If someone takes his harness off, he absolutely doesn’t get taken out until I’m there to put it on him. He wont let anyone else touch him enough to do it, and he hates it when I do it, too. If it accidentally gets taken off on my day off, he doesn’t go out for two days until I’m at work again.

He’s been up for adoption for a few weeks now, but whenever anyone asks about him, our adoption staff warn them; “You don’t want that dog.” “You can’t even touch him.” “He’s mean.” “He’s untrained.” “He attacks people and other animals.” None of these things are true, of course. He’s not the most personable with strangers, and a stranger can’t pet him, but he gives very clear signals and if he doesn’t like or know someone, he elects to ignore them and stay out of reach. He only starts snapping when they get into his space and exiting isn’t an option. He also doesn’t hate other animals, he just doesn’t know how to interact with them, the same way he doesn’t know how to interact with people.

He’s gotten to the point, with me, where I can sit down in his kennel and he’ll sit between my legs and push his entire, giant head against my chest while I scratch through his fur. Last week, a volunteer walked up, intending to take him out, and froze, shocked to see someone touching him. She was so stunned she went and grabbed another volunteer to show. Everyone thinks he’s just this completely terrible creature.

He’s incredibly smart. It took me twenty minutes to teach him sit. Now he’ll sit on cue with either the word or a hand command. We started working on a ‘bed’ cue today, where he goes and sits on his bed, in the hopes of making him easier to harness and to get in and out of his room when all he wants to do is escape. He had it down in half an hour, though that was in an empty room without distractions. So it’s a work in progress. It’s a shame his owner never bothered to try working with him, he has so much potential and he’s certainly trainable.

He’s been here for six months and he’s made a lot of progress with me, but it’s not translating very well or very quickly with other people. Recently, he’s started body blocking the door to his kennel, trapping people inside with him. It’s happened three or four times now. When someone unleashes him and tries to leave, he pushes between them and the door, and holds the door closed with his body. When they reach for the door handle, over his head, he starts his startling, husky-screams and snaps at their hands. I had to go in with him and one person, so they could get out. After all this progress we’ve made, I worry he’s finally at his limit. I’m worried this is the start to a terrible downward slope. At some point, all dogs degrade in a shelter setting. No matter how great the shelter or rescue is, it’s stressful and will never be an ideal space for any individual animal. And with “Caesar the Untouchable”, who likes no one, whom everyone is afraid of already, I worry that he wont get very many strikes before the call is made.

But this is Caesar, and I love him, and I’ll keep trying my damnedest to make him more adoptable until he can find a good fit.

#work tag

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catcomixzstudios · 7 years ago

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How To Life Chapter 49

How To Avoid Being An Asshole

- NEVER create a religion out of these guiding beliefs, and ESPECIALLY NEVER create a religion out of these guiding beliefs where you spread the message by killing, harming, and/or prosecuting others who do not share your beliefs. Religions, in theory, generally seek to do good in the world. I respect that. However, almost all religions (or even just groups of people) will usually develop at least a sub-sect of individuals who spread messages of goodwill towards others by violently attacking them. It’s vain of me to assume someone would try to make a religion out of these ideals, but just in case, I’d like to clearly state that I do NOT want that to happen. That person is doing something I don’t approve of. If these guiding beliefs help you, that’s awesome, but I don’t want it to be any more than that. If you ever have to cause harm to someone else to try and spread a message, that to me says that either your message is shit, or at least you yourself are a piece of shit.

- Don’t kill, harm, or threaten people, animals, etc if you don’t have to. This is a very tough thing to fully elaborate on. I firmly believe that most situations can be resolved without the use of violence. But if someone is trying to stab you, I don’t think it’s bad to try and defend yourself. To me, violence is always and absolutely the last option and NEVER something you should start. If others have hurt you, acting on their level isn’t how you beat them. Be better than them. Actions taken on a violent impulse tend to have drastic consequences. Obviously I can’t speak to every single possible scenario, but you should seek to avoid causing others physical or mental harm whenever possible. A vast majority of people will likely not be trying to kill or hurt you. As a matter of respect, you should do the same for others.

- Don’t be a dick to people. You don’t have to be friends with everyone you meet to offer even the most basic levels of respect. If someone helps or just offers to help, be thankful. If someone disagrees with you, you don’t have to be an asshole about it. If someone’s a dick to you, dwelling on it is only going to get you to act that way as well. Not every day is a good day, of course, but trying to make other people’s lives worse because of your issues isn’t helping anyone. You have to take a stand at times, of course, but try to pick your battles wisely. Some dicks are going to be dicks no matter what you do, and just aren’t worth the time or brain-space. We have to live together, so the least we can do is go about our business without pissing each other off when we can.

- Don’t rape or molest others. No one owes you sex, no matter who they are or what you’ve done for them. You don’t owe anyone else sex, no matter who they are or what they’ve done for you. Your body is your own, and everyone else’s bodies are their own. Forcing or trying to coerce someone into sex they aren’t interested in is one of the most shitty things you can do to another person. Listen to people. If you pay even the slightest bit of attention, they will give you cues on how comfortable they are. If you choose to ignore these and force someone into that situation anyway, then I absolutely hope the most horrible things possible happen to you.

- Never own another human being. Slavery is great if you’re a slave owner. Lots of free labor done by people you get to mistreat with no repercussions. If the tables were turned however, I don’t think you’d be so happy to get up in the morning. I hope it becomes REALLY obvious that forcing or coercing people into shitty situations is a shitty thing to do. No sentient species should be subservient to their own people. No one should live a life feeling like they can never escape.

- Don’t use drugs or other things that can have a negative impact on yourself and others. With things like alcohol, use it responsibly. The medical field has made great strides with drugs that can help treat diseases and increase our chances of survival. Crystal meth is not one of those drugs. Hardcore drugs like that will fuck your body up something fierce, and the “benefits” are not worth it. Unless you enjoy staying up for several days straight and feeling like invisible spiders are crawling all over you. On the other hand, there are things like marijuana and alcohol. While I don’t use them myself, if used responsibly, I don’t think there are any problems with things like that. Those can be just as (if not more) problematic than the hardcore drugs if handled poorly, however.

- Don’t steal from others. Would you be happy if your most prized possession was stolen from you? I’d wager not. Respect people’s property. If people have bought or made something, taking it from them is a dick move. There certainly will be cases where a person might have to steal to survive, but there’s a big difference between that and taking your neighbor’s sweet new laptop because you hate your current one.

- Don’t break or damage people’s stuff. Pretty much the same idea as stealing, while also remembering that destroying something of someone else’s is an asshole thing to do as well. If someone stealing your stuff makes you unhappy, just imagine how you’ll feel if it turns out they broke it instead?

- Don’t lie whenever possible. Spreading lies, mistruths, or withholding important information can and often will make situations worse. Technically, telling the truth in some cases may do that as well, but I’d personally rather learn to accept truths then become more comfortable with lies. Like with most things, there are levels of lying; saying you’re having a good day rather than a mediocre one isn’t on the same level as blaming someone else for a theft you committed. It’s absolutely good to tell the truth in most cases, but I will begrudgingly admit that sometimes you might have to lie to keep the peace. Just understand that lies built on lies may eventually be revealed as being just that, and the fallout for it will be much worse.

- Avoid holding grudges. Do the best you can to hang onto the positivity in life. I firmly believe that most people are generally good, though it might not always show. We can be distrusting and rude to one another, but at least part of that comes from a fear of the unknown. There might be some individuals that you come to know that hurt you, but I promise there will be others who want to help you. Focus on those that want to help you and who make your life better. I’m not asking you to completely forgive those that have wronged you; you owe them nothing. But once you can get them out of your life, don’t let your anger towards them continue to pull you back in. Doing so only serves to hurt your more.

- Try not to get too worked up over little things. In the day to day, lots of small annoyances will come and go. If you choose to hold onto them and let them keep breaking you down, it will make things worse. Acknowledge them, of course. Don’t pretend that bad things have never happened. Yet find time to consider how important some of these things might be. Consider what situations are things you won’t ever have to worry about a few years down the line, let alone even for tomorrow.

- Don’t fear those that are different from yourself. Things that you don’t know or fully understand can be intimidating. Some people react by dismissing these things. Some react by showing overt aggression. Most of the time, however, those that are different from yourself simply live their lives in a different way (usually one that doesn’t negatively impact you). There will certainly be individuals that seek to harm you for aspects of your being that you may or may not have control over, but spreading more of that behavior around never serves to make things better; it just validates fear. Try to look with fresh eyes to people that live differently but mean no harm. To me, it’s the differences between individuals that make life interesting and help us grow.

- (Generally) avoid absolutes. Very few matters in life are purely black and white matters of good and evil. It’s easy to fall into the trap of believing that one certain thing is always good or bad, but keep in mind that all groups are made up of individuals. Many things we get angry about are merely tools, and while some might absolutely be misused, it is the singular cases we should focus on. This isn’t always possible or practical, of course, but deciding that any thing or person is ultimately one way or another without much evidence can be dangerous. Carefully put pieces of evidence together and draw your own conclusions.

- Try to avoid frustration from perceived ignorance. Or to put it another way, remember that not everyone has the knowledge and/or the experience that you do. We’ve all lived different lives and had different experiences. Some of us have obtained much more knowledge of a particular topic over time, and keeping in mind that most others haven’t had the same opportunity will help you avoid some minor frustrations. Remembering that for yourself when learning from others will also help.

- Never get a tattoo of a romantic partner’s name. Look I know you might really love the person you’re with right now. But I swear, like the day after you get that tattoo of that person’s name, you’ll totally have some big fight or something and possibly even break up right there. Then you’re gonna be stuck with a tattoo of your exe’s name and you’ll have to go through a whole big process to either cover it up or get rid of it. Tattoos can be pretty awesome, mind you, but just be absolutely sure it’s something you won’t regret to have on your body like 50 years from now.

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#how to life #htl #chapter 49 #what you shouldn't do #morals #advice #humanity #life #philosophy #humor

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wildlyhardphilosopher-blog · 6 years ago

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Dog Walking Training | Best Tips & Methods

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Dog Walking Training | Best Tips & Methods

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We specialise in construction training from schools to trades to contracting and builders licences. 11 November 2016 · The term “observational learning” encompasses several closely related concepts: allelomimetic behavior or mimicking where, for example, puppies follow or copy others of their kind; social facilitation where the presence of another dog causes an increase in the intensity of a behavior; and local enhancement which includes pieces of social facilitation, mimicking, and trial-and-error learning, but is different from true observational learning in that the dog actively participates in the behavior in the presence of the other dog and/or other environmental cues.[53] Four necessary conditions for observational learning are: attention, retention, motivation, and production. That is, the dog must pay attention to the dog or person performing the modelled behavior; retain the information gathered about the behavior during the observation; be motivated to reproduce the behavior in a time and place removed from the original; and finally, produce the behavior, or some reasonable facsimile thereof.[53] Topics George was great – pointed us all in the right direction, showed us very clearly how to get our dogs to do what we needed them too – even if he made it look too easy (was really impressed with how muc…h authority he held over my dogs in just a few minutes!!). We had booked him for 2 hours, but he had done what he needed after an hour. I really appreciated that he didn’t drag our session out to the 2 hours just to get the $$. See more To check the availability of Urban Ultimate Recall course in Carindale (available in Carindale only) please click here. 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This class works on off leash skills – staying close, recall away from dogs, being settled while other dogs are playing very close and more. Your dog will be able to learn more advanced tricks and solve tougher brain games. You might be aiming to compete or just love spending time with your dog – the end result is a great team built on mutual respect and great times together. Our dedicated team is here to help Interactive Toys & Puzzles Events facebook Jump up ^ Lindsay 2000, p. 253. Web: www.positiveresponse.net.au

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ezatluba · 7 years ago

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Who Says You Can't Train A Cat? A Book Of Tips For Feline-Human Harmony

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September 12, 2016

Feline behavior specialist Sarah Ellis says that contrary to conventional wisdom, cats are more trainable than many people assume.

It's 3 a.m. and Whiskers has decided it's time for breakfast. He jumps up on your bed, gently paws at your eyelids and meows to be fed. Annoyed? Cat behavior specialist Sarah Ellis says you have only yourself to blame.

Ellis says that cat owners reinforce negative behaviors when they give in to them. "Cats are not necessarily born meowing and screaming at us for food, it's a behavior that they learned," Ellis tells Fresh Air's Terry Gross.

Sarah Ellis is a feline behavior specialist at the British charity group International Cat Care, which collaborates with organizations around the world involved with cat welfare. She has trained her cats to come when she calls, voluntarily walk into the cat carrier to go to the vet, take medicine and become acclimated to her dog and her baby.

Instead of indulging Whiskers' request for an early morning snack, Ellis recommends adopting an "extinction schedule," whereby you ignore the behavior entirely until it stops. If cat owners "can be really strong with that extinction schedule and just make sure at every occurrence of that behavior they do not reward it ... it will stop," Ellis says.

In her book, The Trainable Cat, Ellis and her co-author, John Bradshaw, describe how humans who understand basic feline nature can get their cats to come on command, take medicine and, yes, wait until morning for breakfast.

When it comes to encouraging the positive, Ellis recommends rewards over punishment — especially if the rewards are intermittent. "You don't give a reward every single time," Ellis explains. "This sort of keeps the cat guessing. They don't know if running toward you this time will get the food or it'll be the next time, and that actually makes the behavior more likely to happen."

On why cats can be more difficult to train than dogs

Dogs are innately very, very sociable. They have evolved from a social animal, the wolf, and they are incredibly sociable, not just to their own species but to humans. The cat, however, has evolved from a solitary ancestor, the North African wildcat, and that process of domestication has also been much, much shorter ... and therefore the cat hasn't had the chance to develop these social tendencies that the dog already has.

Because of that, ... [cats are] less likely to understand the cues that we may give, for example, things like pointing. They're less likely to naturally attune to us, so they're much less likely to look at our faces, to be able to read our expressions, and that's where we've got less of a currency ... than we have with dogs when training. Because [dogs] naturally want our affection. They naturally want to please us. With cats we have to use a different kind of currency.

On cats being more attached to place than people

The primary attachment for a dog is generally its owner, and so by an attachment bond, think of like a mother and their child. ... A child to be around its mother creates a feeling of safety and security and when you go to a new place as a child, as long as your mother or your parent is there, you still feel a sense of safety, and that's the same for a dog. ...

For the cat, that security does not necessarily come from a person or another animal, it comes from a physical place. Cats are very, very territorial animals, and they create safety by getting to know a physical place very well and by marking that place and impregnating it with their own scent. So when we take a cat out of that physical environment, we've taken away their safety or their security, and that's why they don't cope nearly as well in novel environments.

On getting a cat to come when you call

Most people's cats know their names already, but where people tend to go wrong is they think, Oh he knows his name, I'll use his name to get him to come to me. But because we use their names all the time, it's not a command to say, "Come to me," it's just a word that we say to them that they know they need to give their attention to us.

So the first thing we need to do is think about what word are we going to use that actually means "I want you to move your body over toward me and stop when you get to me." We tend to use "Come" or "here" or any word that works well for you. ...

Let's say I'm training Cosmos, my cat, I would say the word "Cosmos," to get his attention, but then I would always say the word "come," to tell him the command of "What I'd like you to do, now that I've got your attention, is to come toward me." ...

The first thing we do is we make sure the cat is actually quite close to us when we start teaching the recall. When I say close, I mean within a meter or 2 meters, definitely within the same room. We show the cat that we have something that it really likes — so most commonly food. ...

The cat should come toward you purely because you've got food and it's motivated for that food, so choose a time when the cat's hungry, choose a food it really, really likes. ... As soon as the cat gets up and starts to walk toward you — and we're only talking at this stage a few steps — you then give that cat that reward. ...

After doing that in different locations within the house and doing it at different distances, which are increasing, we can start to do it when the cat can no longer see us, it can just hear us. So that's quite good fun. That's when you know you've trained well, you can be in a completely different room of the house, call the cat, give your cue word, and see if the cat comes.

On why the timing of rewards is key

We need to have a message to tell [cats], "That was exactly it, right now, right there what you're doing." If we cannot give the reward at that exact time — and usually the reward is food — we can use other things to pinpoint a reward or mark that behavior that allows the cat to know that food is going to come two minutes later. But the only way you can do that is first of all to create an association between whatever your marker behavior is and your reward. ...

Let's say we were teaching a cat to go through a cat flap. The behavior that we would want to reward going through the cat door, or jumping down, we cannot get food at that exact moment in time, because we might not physically be able to get the food to the other side of the cat door, or to the cat the minute, the second its feet lands on the floor.

So we can use something that we call a marker, and in this case very often with cats I just use a word, and the word often is just "good." But what you have to do before that is teach the cat the word "good" predicts that the real reward, food, is going to come and you do that just simply by pairing those two things, presenting the word "good," so saying it, and then giving food, and doing that time and time again.

And then you know the cat has learned the association when you just say the word "good" and the cat orientates toward you. It might meow at you, it shows you all the behaviors that it normally shows you that are indicative that it knows food is on its way. Then you've got a tool that will allow you to buy those extra few seconds, but it's not going to be a few minutes, it's only going to be a few seconds.

On why you shouldn't punish your cat for bad behavior

The reason that we don't advocate punishment at all is because it can be really, really damaging to the relationship of the cat with the human."

Sarah Ellis

The reason that we don't advocate punishment at all is because it can be really, really damaging to the relationship of the cat with the human. If you get your timing wrong, you may be punishing a very different behavior to what you think you're punishing, and that can be quite disastrous. And secondly, if you're delivering that punishment, so you are holding a water sprayer, or you are throwing something at the cat, or you are physically smacking its back-end off the kitchen counter or whatever it is, the cat will associate that punishment with you and may not associate it with the actual act of what it's doing, because you're very salient in that environment at that time, and you are the one delivering the punishment.

So all you're doing then is teaching your cat that you're not a very good person to be around, that you deliver quite unpleasant consequences, and therefore the cat will start to avoid you, rather than stopping to do that behavior. So the cat may well carry on doing the behavior you didn't want, just not in the presence of you, so now you've got a cat that's still doing the behavior that you don't want, but it's also actively avoiding you and you've damaged that relationship.

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blessedandchaotic · 7 years ago

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I am a stray collector. It is as if some sort of magical force sends them my way. And its not just me-it is most of my family, too! We all have this beacon that only strays can see. It directs them to us and it is visible by all types of strays (Animals, friends, random lost strangers, people in need, our spouses….) We just collect them, clean them up and get them healthy before releasing them into their new homes or worlds. A lot of times they decide that they have already found their new home. That is why Husband is married with seven fur-babies.

My personal collection started ten years ago with my cats. I would like to point out that, out of all of the strays I have collected and kept, I am only responsible for bringing one home. The rest are on someone else. The cats are because of my youngest sister and father. Two litter of kittens and a random stray found at my grandparents’ house later and I have suddenly gotten a damned good start at being a Crazy Cat Lady. In a matter of three years I managed to collect four cats. Felix and Mia are siblings from the first litter. They are complete opposites. Felix is arrogant and needy. Mia is tiny and skittish. She can also be occasionally needy and will attach herself to my pants legs if I am doing housework and ignoring her. Maddy has been re-homed multiple times. She is a challenge of a cat. She is very sweet and loving most of the time but fails to realize that she does not have claws (a previous owner had them removed.) She has no fear and even when she has pissed off one of the dogs she refuses to back down. She is most likely the source of a gray hair or two. Oliver is the source of all the rest! He is a nightmare of a cat. Incredibly long and tall, he is the kind of cat you would expect suffers from some sort of psychological disorder like schizophrenia. He is not very cuddly but will sometimes want you to love on him and pet him. He will even sit on my lap for a few moments. Husband, however, gets all the love. He and Oliver have a bromance to rival all bromances. Oliver will sleep on Husband’s lap for hours.

From left to right: Felix, Mia, Maddy and Oliver.

In 2013 Husband collected his very first stray: Me! I think he questions his decision once in a while. A few months later we collected our first stray together: Maggie. Maggie is an odd dog. She is built somewhat like a Bassett Hound but has a lot of a Dachshund’s features. She is thirty-three pounds of pure muscle and drama. She (like so many of our fur-babies) is Husband’s dog and has been since day one. She is my little Wiggle Butt. My half-pint. My drama queen.

There is no shame in her tu-tu game. Maggie loves clothes.

About two years later we were walking Maggie around our local Riverwalk and guess what we found (hint: it was not a million dollars.) Enter Foster! My first reaction when I saw him was to speak. Its probably one of the habits that act as that invisible beacon I mentioned earlier. He was a tiny little kitten hanging around the body of another deceased cat. Cue waterworks, loud cries from kitten followed by obnoxiously loud purrs when I touched him. Then he tried to follow us when Husband started to walk away. And so he followed us to my car and then we took him home. We started out just calling him Kitten (remember the issue with naming and attachment?) But we had to find something more fitting so he became Foster…as a reminder that he was only a temporary member. Foster stayed with us for a few months before Husband finally convinced me to give him to the neighbors. He was such a precious kitten.

Sweet baby Foster with his giant ears.

By this point life had been a bit crazy. We lost loved ones, got married, took a few trips….and then along came Leah. Sweet, sweet Leah. Of all the animals we re-homed, she was the hardest. Leah came to us starving and, I believe, abused. The whole first week she was there we could barely catch glimpses of her before she would run off and hide. The very first day I went out into the field she was in and threw a hamburger towards her. It scared her so much that she ran away and never did come back for the burger. We thought she was a male. So Husband named her Benji. Less than a week later it became apparent that she was an extremely pregnant female. By the third week she had been around a lot more. She would come close, but never let us touch her. If we stood up, she ran away. If she could see our feet she would run. I can not say undeniably that she was abused, but her behavior indicated that she was certainly not loved before. Finally, three weeks to the day that Leah showed up in our field…she blessed us with nine puppies. Seven males and two females. Leah was the best mom she could be. The day she had the puppies she was so exhausted she could not run from us. It was the first time we got to touch her and she suddenly realized we were there to help her. She never once got aggressive with us over the puppies and even when she was unable to care for them herself (she was so malnourished that she could not feed them) she knew that we were taking care of them. So over the next several months it was continual puppy guard. We bathed nine puppies every day. We fed them all their meals. We made a play yard for them so they could play outside during the day while we were at work. Suddenly our one stray became ten! After getting them their first vet visit and shots we were able to re-home every single puppy (save one) and Leah. I cried when Leah left. I wanted to keep her and still feel my nose tingle a little when I talk about her. She was such a sweet dog. But the neglect and abuse she experienced left her with some scars that I just did not have the time or ability to heal. She went to a very loving family who has made her the highlight of their home.

Leah in a sweater and her nine beautiful babies.

So while technically not a stray, we kept one of Leah’s puppies. Buddy has been the most challenging and frustrating animal I have ever encountered. I love this dog. He has his Mother’s temperament. He is sweet, loving and incredibly playful. He is a year old now and never slows down. He is also the biggest pain in the ass. He ate a hole through my carpet. Then he ate the damned rug I put down to cover the hole! He hates to be brushed. If he sees the brush in my hand he tries to hide. He has his mother’s wiry fur except his is nearly three inches long. If I try to make him do something he does not want to do he will melt. Which is, apparently, a common trait among most of the puppies. For example, I tried to give him a bath. He was not happy. So once I got him in the tub and got the water started he slowly began to sink to the floor of the tub. I could not get him to stand up. I was afraid he would drown so I had to hold his head up with one hand to keep his face out of the water while trying to bathe him with the other. Then, when I was finished with one side, I had to flip him over and do the other. Anytime he is presented with something he does not want to do he becomes a puddle of mutt. He is also Husband’s dog. He would follow Husband to the end of the Earth and back. He only follows me if he believes I have food. I seriously doubt he realizes he is only alive still because he is so damned cute. But, then again, maybe he does realize it and that is why he keeps his shit up.

Buddy throughout his first year of terror and destruction.

No sooner do we get new homes for eight puppies and Leah, and in comes Tanner. Tanner was sweet and fun. Incredibly friendly from day one, when I found him sitting in my car after I left it open so I could carry groceries in. He protected our porch for about two weeks. I left a thick flannel blanket outside for him to curl up in. About two weeks after he showed up he got very sick. I was on my way out to a Christmas party and Husband and I sat on the porch comforting him because I did not think he would make it through the night. I thought he was having seizures on top of him already being sick (he seemed to be fighting a cold.) I went to the Christmas party crying. The next day I called the vet and cried while trying to see if they could get him in. They said they did not have any appointments but if I brought him in they would work him in at some point through the day. Two of the people who attended the Christmas party with me actually called in and paid the vet bill for me. I know some pretty amazing people. While at the Vet’s, Tanner stole the heart of one of the Vet Techs and the very next day messaged me and asked if she could try bringing him home. He is not a very happy and well loved member of her family and I get to see him occasionally (like at festivals where he howls at the people performing live music. He has fairly decent taste and only howls when they really suck.)

In this ungodly messy car sits a dog I had never seen until this moment. Welcome, Tanner.

By this point I had started keeping a leash and collar in my car. I mean, I needed something. I had actually stopped more than once to help people catch random strays and pets so it was sort of beneficial. I also tend to keep a bowl and small bag of food in my car (when I can.) It has came in handy, too. But of course I had NONE of this when we found Hunter.

Imagine driving down the road and seeing what you thought was a fox hoping and playing around the interstate. I’m probably going about 70 mph down a four-lane interstate when all of a sudden I realize its not a fox, it is a puppy! Thank God it was super early in the morning and when I slammed on my brake and swerved off the road there was only one person cussing behind me. I jumped out of my car and yell towards the puppy and don’t know…..the little bastard takes off across the two Southbound lanes and into the median. Husband is standing beside the car yelling at me but all I could see was the traffic and puppy. So away I go after him and once I get to the median he books it across the two Northbound lane. Of course. And traffic was actually a little heavier Northbound.

Let me just point out here that I am fat. I do not move quickly and I was never good at Frogger growing up. Ok, glad we have that established.

As Husband continues to yell at me from the car (I can’t hear him well enough to understand him, I just know he is yelling) I book it across the Northbound lanes and jump a guard rail. Let me be the first to tell you I am very proud at how quickly I made it across those lanes and at the fact that I did not bust my ass trying to jump the guard rail. Puppy just stands there and barks at me. After a little bit of coaxing, he finally comes over and I grab him before he could change his mind. I scramble across the guard rail again (this time slightly less gracefully) and run across all four lanes and median, puppy in hand. As I get closer to the car I yell at Husband to get in. I open my door, say “we have a puppy” and tossed it in his lap. We were an hour and a half from home and had another three hours to go before reaching our destination (we were traveling to meet my Father with our nephews so they could come visit for a few days.) Then we had to turn around and come home. Dad bought us a cheap collar and leash and the puppy ate junk food with us and the boys until we got home. After calling all the local shelters and veterinary offices in the area we found the puppy (just to make sure he was not reported missing) a friend of mine actually adopted him and named him Hunter. We live about 8 hours apart and so I took care of him until we could go visit and deliver him, checking the shelters and vets a few more times before we left. He is doing well also.

Hunter. Part Shepard, part Husky. All attitude.

Animal rescue is a big deal to me. If I had the money there would be so many no-kill shelters out there that no animal would be euthenized or homeless for long. I think it is very important for people to be diligent and responsible pet owners. Spay and neuter your pets and don’t adopt a pet if you are not willing to care for it for life. Too many people get them as gifts when the pet is just a baby and once it gets older and has lost its youth they don’t want to deal with them anymore and dump them off at shelters or worse, along the road. If you are serious about the commitment involved in adopting a pet please be sure to check your local shelters and rescues. I have included a few links at the bottom here so you can check out some of my favorites. If you are ever looking for organizations to help out via volunteering, donations (monetary or supplies) or even fostering check out your local shelters and rescues.

Saving Southern Kitties

Pet Door Rescue

Petfinder

Human Society

***I did not create nor do I own the header picture for this post.

I am a stray collector. It is as if some sort of magical force sends them my way. I am a stray collector. It is as if some sort of magical force sends them my way.

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coal-the-shiba · 7 years ago

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If you are struggling, too...

I'd like to think of my experiences being a cautionary tale for those who find themselves in a similar situation. For three, almost four months now, we have been dealing with an escalating situation--aggression. I honestly don't know what else to call it, though I feel that the term is not completely accurate.

It went through a lot of phases. At that time, he was still a puppy just beginning his teething, but my husband was already complaining to me about his behavior. It was behavior I never really saw out of my dog, but the reasons are unknown to me. I should have taken my husband more seriously, but my brain was clouded with advice--from the internet. The internet is really a dangerous thing. 3 or 4 months old? Not aggression--just a puppy being a puppy, dealing with teething, etc. Do the yelp, ignore/leave him for a moment and come back. It's nothing and should right itself.

But it didn't right itself. Sure, the technique helped so that during play time, we are fine--but during these times, it is a whole other animal. Literally. As he got older, it became more apparent, easier to spot (or maybe we just got better at reading the situation), and escalated in intensity. What did we do? Everything under the sun. Using positive training, we tried redirecting him and treating him for doing the things we wanted. Well, I did. My husband really struggled with the concept. I was left with most of the training, which was fine---if we were doing cues and stuff. But this was bad behavior happening to him, so he needed to do more. And he tried, he did. He pushed himself to do it more, but I needed to remind him. He grew up with the old methods of training and obedience, and after 40+ years, it is hard to change.

I used my no-marker, and he usually listened. I only used time out a couple of times, but that was for chewing issues, and he learned quick. We tried the Mine! by Jean Donaldson for problem behaviors, thinking that the problem was food aggression. Turns out, it wasn't. How do I know? While he is eating, we can do anything. We can pet him, add food, put our hands on the bowl, touch the bowl. It is after the bowl that he becomes aggressive. It is after walks and after play when he becomes aggressive. What happens after walks and play? Well, he goes back in his pen. Perhaps he is frustrated and doesn't want to go back, but rules are rules and he does not own the house. Regardless of his behavior, he will end up there. The problem is, with the behavior getting worse, he gets out less. That isn't good. We are becoming more anxious after play and walks, though we still try to keep them as long and stimulating as possible.

It even got to the point where both my father-in-law and my husband has swatted at Coal with soft objects. When Coal leaped up after eating and caught my nightgown, father-in-law had had enough and bopped him on the head with an open newspaper (not rolled and not hard). It surprised him, but did not in any way deter him from his tantrum (still not accurate, but close enough.) On another day, my husband had taken Coal for a looong walk by the river. Went pee and poop, got a good walk in, lots of interesting smells, etc. Came home to our normal routine, and then Coal moved to go upstairs (his play area). Hubby said no and tried to direct him to the living room---and Coal lunged and bit onto his pant legs.

This isn't like the attitudes you see in cases of aggression---dog barking and snarling, lunging and pulling at the leash. This is more like silent aggression---a predator at work. I see the same stance when he sees a bird land just within his vision. He goes perfectly still, his eyes take on a dilated look like he is regressing into a primal state, and then he reacts. Movement could cause him to lunge, or voice--we don't know, but that has always been how it works. The only time he has barked is after being unsuccessful and us getting him safely in his pen where he can't attack us.

He will totally guard the food bowl after he eats, but his behavior is a bit different. He gets anxious, his feet tapping back and forth as he tries to anticipate which direction we might come at. We have tried leaving his bowl in place, and he will calm down---but it takes over an hour! If we take the bowl sooner rather than later, he will calm down within 10-20 minutes. (we trade for the bowl even now)

These are two very different scenarios, but they have followed the same pattern of escalation. First, my husband is the victim. Like Coal is testing. Then, it escalates to me. I currently have a bite wound on my hip. the worst of it is from a bruise, but his tooth ripped the skin as well. It wasn't deep at all and no need for the hospital, but that is a far cry from the first time he bit me, which was only a bruise. I was also wearing thinner clothing this time since summer is coming.

What makes this all completely hilarious is the fact that he is completely receptive to commands. While guarding his bowl, we can get him to sit, lie down, etc. If he doesn't, we have a good idea of how far gone he is.

We know Coal better now. We can see immediately when the Hyde change is coming, and it is terrifying to watch. We both worked so hard, and the biggest conflict is that, yes, 90 % of the time, he is a good dog. Sure, he walks ahead and pulls a little on leashes, but he obeys me and sometimes my husband. He is calm, he never barks outside of those times, very receptive to learning new things---he is a good dog. But that remaining time, the time of Hyde, that is a huge problem.

I honestly thought I could fix it. There are plenty of books out there on rehabilitating your dog, so why not? Well, I will tell you why. First of all, as the owner and one who has faced the stress of the escalation, you are not mentally able to assess the situation properly to determine what needs to be done. On top of that, there is a seed of fear planted in the back of your brain that will forever taint your work. Dogs can sense that. Second, as a layman, you do not have the knowledge and experience to assess what needs to be done.

Get. Help.

I wish I had done that months ago, but it wasn't a reality. I didn't truly understand what was going on. Oh, dog just being a dog. Do the yelp, be firm, etc, and it will be fine. That is what the internet says. No one can figure this dog out, anyway--people who have seen clips say he looks like he is playing/anxious/stressed. Not aggressive. People say he might be hungry, I am doing too much, I am not doing enough. I got all kinds of advice from various people---and none of it worked. Nothing from articles from trainers, nothing from blogs, nothing from books. Why? See the above.

Pride often gets in the way. There is a sense that as the owner, you must be the one in control--but it is so important to know when to get help. To be honest, I told my husband at the beginning that help would be better, but there were some barriers. First, we didn't see the severity of the issue; second, money; third, being able to trust the professional. You see, we are in Japan. Japan is a bit behind the times on some training methods, and many vets and trainers agree that you have to show the dog you are the "leader" in some way, you are the boss and in charge. Personally, I think the philosophy is BS and just makes humans feel better. There is no way that we can prove or disprove such a statement "your dog is trying to take over/be the alpha/be the leader". How can you prove that? You certainly can not go into the dog's head and see what he is thinking. All you can do is watch his body language and his behavior. If a dog was truly trying to be a leader, they certainly would not bite. All evidence about wolves and village dogs points to the contrary. Aggression does not equal trying to be leader/in charge.

But aggression can mean that the dog is afraid or uncertain, and we can see this marked in his body. Fear and confusion are things we can read in a dog, things that are quantifiable. It could be that his confusion is not knowing the pack order, or it could confusion from being a teen and having hormones. Could be fear. Right now, fear is a huge possibility.

There are only two pieces of advice I can give to someone who is a similar situation to mine. Get help. And do not ever show angry aggressive behavior. My husband has made that mistake twice, and it has only escalated the issue to the point where we are not sure if we can save him. (to be clear my husband has never physically hit the dog with anything other than a fluffy apron. He did get angry enough to almost hit the dog because the dog was always barking/trying to bite him. Always be in control, no matter what) The trainer we are looking into says that if it is before a year, the dog has a better change of being rehabilitated. We are waiting to see if she will take our case.

And one more thing. Get things under control. Do whatever you have to do to manage the situation. Get a muzzle and a pen to keep your dog in, think of what your are wearing and what situations trigger the dog. Be prepared to approach those situations with great caution, and honestly, don't let your guard down even at times you think he is fine.

Get help. If you are facing a serious issue like mine, and you just aren't sure, get help. The stuff in books are for the situations that mild and low, things that anyone can handle. Anything above slight growling and you should seek a professional, because they will have the experience and knowledge to apply the CORRECT plan. The correct plan is what you need, not shooting arrows in the dark. I probably did a lot of damage trying to fix the problem blindly. I hope not.

I will keep up to date on things as they progress. I feel like I can help someone else out there with my story. I hope so. I don't want anyone to have to experience this ever.

There is one more thing that I want to say that no one talks about: the fear, the pain, the self-doubt. It hits you like a ton of bricks. What did I do wrong? How have I failed him? I tried--I did! It hits you over and over again. You cry, you get angry, you wish you could change the past or find the right key--but you can't. Every time you approach your dog, you are trying to evaluate what mind frame he is in now, what he will do. It is hell, and it screws with your ability to make good choices. Once you have that nervousness, even a little, it means that you will probably not be as successful unless you can master that. But you are not alone. Even with a professional, you will have to carry through---do the homework they give you and be consistent. You have to master that fear, master that nervousness. And it will take time. Right now, I am terrified. I just took my dog up to play, and when he came down, he shifted into the Hyde. He lunged at me, and the only thing stopping him was my husband holding his collar and the mesh muzzle that needed to be refitted. I really thought he wanted to hurt me.

He calmed down within minutes of being put in his pen, but it was a startling revelation to me. It's okay to say you can't do something. Let out your emotions with a friend or trusted family member, gather yourself up, dust yourself off, and get back in the ring. It's your dog, your "baby". You are the only one who can champion him. If you give up on him, who will step up? who will take over?

For me, in Japan, probably no one. I am all he has, and I must do what I can to save him. At this point, it is his life on the line. If the trainer fails, or we can't find someone to help him, I am prepared to make the next choice. It is not a choice I want to make, and I am hoping that it will never come down to that. I am holding firmly to the believe that he can be redeemed. Hold firmly to your faith. Someone out there can help you. Find them, fast.

#shiba #inu #aggression #rehabilitation #guarding #resource #trainer

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