#also of anyone gets the violin reference you get a cookie!

[whumperofworlds]

Whumpee having a nasty scar. Caretaker and the team were so worried about them because of it, thinking that they got hurt by Whumper or that they got the scar from a traumatic incident.

But then Whumpee just says casually "Nah, I got this scar when a violin string snapped on me."

(Inspired by @whumpprentice 's dumb injury whump prompt LOL)

[oh-god-why-god]

Look I see all of your ‘Techno plays violin’ headcanons for the younger children and etc (Tommy, Chayanne, Ranboo and Tubbo) and yes, I love them an unhealthy amount as well but imagine this ok?

Techno sings lullabies. Can he sing? No. It’s not very good singing. He’ll never be as musically gifted with his voice as Wilbur, in fact he isn’t even average with his voice.

But, imagine him singing quiet lullabies that no one else can match. They aren’t very good and you wouldn’t usually listen to them but hearing them feels like home.

The way he sings is unique to him and it’s something that nobody else can ever truly replicate. It’s the type of lullaby that you just barely remember when you’re older and all grown up, if you try to think of the words yourself they slip away and you never remember it. But then when you have kids or you feel like your life can’t possibly get any worse, it’s like you’ve never stopped hearing it.

Until then, you don’t remember the words or even the tune, but you remember the feeling you had when he sings the quiet lullaby just as you’re falling asleep.

His voice is deep and gruff from yelling on the battlefield. His hands that are softly petting blonde curls are rough and are covered in countless scars. He smells of leather from shields and metal.

Tommy doesn’t even know what’s being said. But it’s pleasant. The words are like a warm, old blanket you’d never throw out. The way the quiet gruff voice sang felt like home.

It felt like falling asleep on the couch in front of a warm fireplace on a cold winter night. It felt like the warm cookies that just came from the oven. It felt like warm summer nights out in the fields watching the glow of fire flies.

Tommy fell asleep the moment he closed his eyes. Even Wilbur had to fight to stay awake as he listened. They weren’t at home, they were stuck in a small cave with an even smaller fire between the three of them.

He was soaked and the only thing keeping both him and Tommy even semi-warm was Techno’s giant cloak.

Wilbur tried to listen to the song, tried to figure out what it was about so he could focus on something. But there wasn’t a use, the words could’ve been in Piglin for all he knew.

But it was getting harder the longer he sang. It felt like he was being surrounded by a warm family hug. Even against the cold stone wall he could feel the warm and comfort from home and soon, he also fell asleep.

Techno was humming now, leaning against the cave wall with his sword, eyes closed but ears listening for any sign of an ambush. His brothers had fallen asleep.

That was the difference between Wilbur and Techno. While the two seemed like twins, even looked and acted alike, they weren’t exact replicas.

While Wilbur could excite and devastate anyone with a few notes of his voice, those were new emotions.

But Techno, his voice made you feel at home. It doesn’t matter if you’ve never heard his voice before or you’ve heard it all your life, hearing his lullaby causes memories to stir.

Mostly of home, happy memories of a safe place. For people who grew up with a warrior for a parent, they’ll remember the rough hands of their parents, the rough voice that would tuck them in at night and promise protection.

Yes Techno was the blood gods disciple, killing people in the gods name, but the blood god doesn’t just refer to bloodshed. The blood god also refers to the families made through blood or chosen.

The blood god isn’t just a violent and war hungry god, the blood god is also the rough hands that Pat your head. He’s the quiet but rough lullaby you can barely recall come morning but can’t sleep without. He’s the smell of leather and metal you smell as you’re falling asleep to your parent telling old war stories and promises of protection.

The blood god also referred to families, chosen ones and not, nonetheless the blood god is all of this and the god who Techno serves.

Everyone knows, Techno serves his god diligently in all aspects.

[virtualweakness]

The twins are both in their mid 20’s. Mortimer is an ISFJ Myers Briggs. He is pansexual, as well as using he/they pronouns. He works as a mortician. Rouge is an ENFP. She is a singer and bridelway star. She is bisexual, polyamorous and uses she/her pronouns. If they had theme songs Mortimer would be “the night” by Voltaire, though honestly he’d never sing in public. Rouge would be “Applause” by Lady Gaga.

Mortimer is shy but compassionate, bonding closely only to those he trusts, which isn’t many people. He likes reading, stormy nights, bugs, nature, fireplaces and hates loud crowded places. Other ponies think he’s weird, he radiates “that one quiet kid” energy to those who don’t know him personally sue to his career choice, but he’s actually a very nice guy. He has been known to yell at people if they reach the end of his temper, but he’s very patient so that isn’t easy. He is currently single. He also plays violin and he does have a great singing voice, but you’d have to threaten him with violence to get him to sing publicly. He sings privately while tending to his work, though. He has a pet Raven named Edgar. If you get the reference I’ll give you a cookie.

Rouge, on the other hand is almost the exact opposite. She is kind of a hybrid of Pinkie and Rarity. She loves attention, singing, acting and lavish parties. She is flamboyant and…. Loud. She’s a true starlet. She hates storms, as they can mess up her makeup and prevent her from going outside. She loves interacting with fans. She has two partners, A Cappella and Starstruck. She also has ADHD. She knows many ponies, but outside of her two partners she isn’t really close to anyone. A Cappella (male) is an opera singer and starstruck (female) is a magazine editor and celebrity photographer. They have no children, but are all agreed they don’t want any and have three dogs instead named Chloe, Violet and Puddles.

Despite their differences, they love each other and have a very positive relationship.

The cutie marks and bases are by sush adopts on deviantart.

[sapphictastic]

@clover-and-cream didn’t tag me but she said that anyone can do it so here i am!

rules! answer 21 questions and then tag 21 people that you’d like to get to know better!

nickname: @ghoul-stars calls me dani (or danii)

zodiac: aries

height: 5′7″

last movie i saw: into the spiderverse

last thing i googled: word reference

favorite author: don’t have one

favorite musician: eh i don’t really have one of these either

other blogs: @mcfucking-nerd is my main. i also have @sapphictastic-she-ra and @wlw-writer

do i get asks: sometimes! usually only when i ask for them.. i’d love to get more!

how many followers: 8,894

amount of sleep: like 7 hours

lucky number: 17

what i’m wearing: my old orchestra t-shirt from middle school, gray sweatpants over some gym shorts, and dangly space-themed earrings.

dream job: author/poet

dream trip: travelling the world/ europe. or a cross-country roadtrip with my friends

favorite food: fries (also tacos, cake, and pizza)

play an instrument: used to play violin

languages: english and learning french in school

random fact: i’m the Big Gay

dfnbxnmdsj ok but for real,, i’m taking statistics and probability, it’s a college-level course and the hardest math in my school so i Love Life :)

describe yourself as aesthetic things: a mismatched outfit, flannel thrown in where it doesn’t belong. buzzcut, a hint of cologne. walking meme. selectively outspoken. gaydreaming about girls. 

i'm tagging: @ghoul-stars @maybe-a-pastel-cookie-cat @wlwsheratdp @positive-lesbian-vibes @oddblonde21 @gaypoetryforlife @flameondyke @sun-lesbiab @thatonegaykidwiththevans @lesbians-harold @floortile-flowers @sapphtastic

no pressure if you don't wanna do it! i just think y'all are cool! any of my other followers can do it too even if i didn't tag you!

[whydontwejustblog]

unusual asks

@anon that said “1-100,” i’m no chicKEN—

spotify, soundcloud, or pandora? spotify all the way.

is your room messy or clean? messy i like to think it’s neat.

what color are your eyes? a boring dark brown.

do you like your name? why? i hate it. i wish it was esteban julio ricardo montoya dela rosa ramirez.

what is your relationship status? what’s a relaytionsheep?

describe your personality in 3 words or less. boring.

what hair color do you have? still a boring dark brown.

what kind of car do you drive? color? …i’m not old enough to drive, but if i was, you better bet i’d have a rainbow car because #yolo. (lmao stop your influence @heartsavery.)

where do you shop? at the candy store. *instantly thinks of heathers*

how would you describe your style? non-existent.

favorite social media account? if i say tumblr, will it start working for me?

what size bed do you have? a queen-sized one. (no, that wasn’t a pun or anything.)

any siblings? i like to think she doesn’t exist.

if you can live anywhere in the world where would it be? why? i’ve heard of this place called niue, which apparently has pikachu coins as part of their currency, so sign me up. (japan is also another option, because i love the atmosphere in kyoto. except for that one time i got lost at night near a creepy abandoned church.)

favorite snapchat filter? i don’t use filters much since i don’t take pictures of myself, but i’ll have to say the classic dog filter.

favorite makeup brand(s)? i don’t wear makeup.

how many times a week do you shower? i shower around once or twice a day. weird, i know, but it’s normal around here in a country that’s hot all year round. (except, of course, when there are typhoons, because it’s one extreme or another.)

favorite tv show? danger dings (read: stranger things.) i even have a side blog for it. *cough* @anevenstrangerblog *cough* i know the question only asked for one but can i throw in asoue too? i love both the books and the netflix show. malina’s so pretty i cri. ooh, andi mack is another show that i absolutELY LOVE AND—

shoe size? 6.5 in us women’s.

how tall are you? not tall at all. next question.

sandals or sneakers? sneakers are all i own.

do you go to the gym? no.

describe your dream date. with nikolai lantsov. but since he’s “fictional,” i’ll settle for the person giving me a fortune, then leaving me alone for the rest of my life. (but if the person was finn wolfhard / malina weissman / sadie sink, they can *in mulan’s grandma’s voice* stAy fOrevEr.)

how much money do you have in your wallet at the moment? about 2500 pesos and 2000 yen.

what color socks are you wearing? they’re pikachu socks.

how many pillows do you sleep with? one or none because quite frankly, i only like hugging pillows. sleeping on them is uncomfortable for me.

do you have a job? what do you do? i don’t have a job, but my class runs a business (with a beneficiary who all the proceeds go to), and i manage its marketing and finance. i also design a couple stuff for my mom’s clinic thing, which i guess is considered a job since i get paid.

how many friends do you have? if you don’t count online friends, zero ahaha.

what’s the worst thing you have ever done? lmao idk, exist?

what’s your favorite candle scent? i dunno. most probably woodsy or floral scents.

3 favorite boy names? names don’t have genders.

3 favorite girl names? names don’t have genders.

favorite actor? noah schnapp, my precious son.

favorite actress? millie bobby brown because why not.

who is your celebrity crush? ¯\_(ツ)_/¯.

favorite movie? the bee movie ahAHAHAHA the original spongebob movie.

do you read a lot? what’s your favorite book? i read waaay too much, and just like any of my other favorite things, i can’t pick just one favorite book, but i love six of crows by leigh bardugo.

money or brains? can i have both?

do you have a nickname? what is it? i’m called stupid a lot, does that count? ahaha :’) micah’s actually one of my nicknames.

how many times have you been to the hospital? too many times to count.

top 10 favorite songs? i have too many songs i like, so i’ll list some i remember right now (and limit myself to one song per artist.) crazy=genius by p!atd, bellyache by billie eilish, migraine by tøp, c’est la vie by maurice moore, glorious by macklemore, for him by troye sivan, my songs know what you did in the dark by fob, non-stop from the hamilton cast recording, teacher by prettymuch, and we the party by why don’t we.

do you take any medication daily? just vitamins, not medication.

what is your skin type? idk dude.

what is your biggest fear? the unknown.

how many kids do you want? zero.

what’s your go-to hair style? just my hair down since i’m lazy.

what type of house do you live in? (big, small, etc.) i don’t know how to describe the size of my house lmao.

who is your role model? thomas the tank engine.

what was the last compliment you received? i’m not sure if it was meant as a compliment, but that one anon who asked advice from me said they were awed by my independence so there’s that.

what was the last text you sent? i sent “i’m hungry” to one of my housekeepers.

how old were you when you found out santa wasn’t real? he IS real. i don’t know what the quackidy quack you’re talking about.

what is your dream car? lightning mcqueen. ka-chow!

opinion on smoking? i’m asthmatic, so personally, i don’t smoke, and i don’t encourage it either. if you’re talking about cigarettes, it harms the lungs of not only the smoker, but the people around them. it also affects air pollution (its effect is 10 times stronger than those of diesel car exhausts), and i’m very against all types of pollution to the environment. (i’m looking at you, glitter, which, if you didn’t already know, contributes to the pollution of waterways.)

do you go to college? i will in 2 years. (i’ll be a wee child all alone in another country :’( @whydontwejustbesomethingdiffrent i’m dragging you along if it’s the last thing i do.)

what is your dream job? i don’t really know lmao.

would you rather live in rural areas or the suburbs? suburbs.

do you take shampoo and conditioner bottles from hotels? who doesn’t?

do you have freckles? no.

do you smile for pictures? i don’t like having pictures of me taken, but i occasionally smile awkwardly.

how many pictures do you have on your phone? i recently cleared out my photo library so now i’m left with only 3033 pictures.

have you ever peed in the woods? no.

do you still watch cartoons? duh.

do you prefer chicken nuggets from Wendy’s or McDonald’s? there are no branches of wendy’s where i live so i’ll go with mcdonald’s.

favorite dipping sauce? does gravy count?

what do you wear to bed? pajamas.

have you ever won a spelling bee? i’ve never participated in one aside from the mini ones we used to hold in class before, which i won because the competition wasn’t exactly tough.

what are your hobbies? photography, bullet journaling, brush lettering, eating, reading, scrolling endlessly through my phone, dying, and other fun stuff. coding and robotics are cool too.

can you draw? @thefangirlingmaster i still stand by my opinion that i can’t.

do you play an instrument? the only instrument i can fluently play is the violin, since i was taught how to play it at 6 years old, but i own a guitar and keyboard which i can sorta play.

what was the last concert you saw? a pentatonix one.

tea or coffee? water.

starbucks or dunkin’ donuts? starbucks.

do you want to get married? not really.

what is your crush’s first and last initial? f.w. (hint: it rhymes with pinn rolfhard.)

are you going to change your last name when you get married? i dunno man.

what color looks best on you? still dunno man.

do you miss anyone right now? no.

do you sleep with your door open or closed? closed.

do you believe in ghosts? uh…

what is your biggest pet peeve? my neighbors slow walkers

last person you called? my dad.

favorite ice cream flavor? cookies and cream.

regular oreos or golden oreos? i only eat mini-sized regular oreos.

chocolate or rainbow sprinkles? choCOLATE *insert gif of that one fish from spongebob*

what shirt are you wearing? a panda shirt i got from singapore a couple years ago.

what is your phone background? it’s a zoomed in face of the ice cream octopus from dora. my parents say it’s creepy, but i think it’s calming. (i couldn’t post it on here because tumblr says i reached a limit, but if you wanna see it, tell me to send it to you.)

are you outgoing or shy? depends on the people i’m with.

do you like it when people play with your hair? it tickles.

do you like your neighbors? i’d prefer it if they moved far far away (haha shrek reference) and took their horrible karaoke with them.

do you wash your face? at night? in the morning? i wash my face everytime i shower.

have you ever been high? nope.

have you ever been drunk? nope. (i was gonna come up with some punny joke but i’m too hungry to think right now. which reminds me, i have to go eat something real quick, be right back—)

last thing you ate? oh wow, perfect timing. i just ate mango float.

favorite lyrics right now? it’s from my son troye’s song, suburbia. “swallow nostalgia, chase it with lime. better than dwelling, and chasing time. missing occasions, i can’t rewind. can’t help but feel i’ve lost what’s mine.”

summer or winter? it’s basically summer all year round here so—

day or night? night.

dark, milk, or white chocolate? milk chocolate.

favorite month? december.

what is your zodiac sign? sagittarius.

who was the last person you cried in front of? my dad.

[toradh]

GUYS WE HAVE A NEW KAMELOT ALBUM

Time for some Shadow Theory liveblogging!

You can’t tell that it’s live because I’m spamming it all at once into this post but it was liveblogging

CUT

it’s still a Sascha Paeth production as it always is, and even if it’s sci-fi themed now, it’s still a Kamelot album and new drummers don’t renew songwriting, so I don’t expect any notable surprises. It’s also a little strange that only Thomas and Sean are left from the original setup, and Sean was on break for years (I was so used to Glenn in fact). NOT THAT I MIND ANYONE BEING THERE JUST SO WE’RE CLEAR

okay anyway liveblogging

ok the intro bars to Phantom Divine are actually really cool (though I have a feeling that nothing will ever beat the warm fuzzy memories that I always relive when the intro bars to Sacrimony start)

ALSO TOMMY I LOVE YOU WHAT THE FUCK I WANT A POSTER OF YOUR VOICE

I WANT TEN POSTERS OF YOUR VOICE

please why do layout designers think writing down lyrics in blocks is a cool idea, that makes it so hard to follow the lyrics pls don’t

doesn’t Tommy try to sound like Khan anymore?

I sound like a complete asshole here but actually I love what I’m hearing so far Kamelot have always been and will always be one of my favourite bands okay okay I’m just looking for bits and pieces that stand out because the only fresh thing they’ve done after The Black Halo was hiring Tommy and I’m saying that as a devoted fan (and also some unusual guest stars like Eklipse and Jon Oliva but still)

…and the fresh thing in The Black Halo were the occasional growls. Hm

ANYWAY would still pay money to have Tommy and Khan together on stage /silent tears into the void

just like I’ll never get a new Seventh Wonder album

anyway

oh it has synthesizer stuffz now to fit the sci-fi theme go on

actually all the intros are nice????

the synths in general are really sweet I mean it

yay slightly creepy choirs

I don’t know the guest voice chick on this album, but her voice is actually pretty cool

I found a typo in the booklet do I get a cookie

yay for guitar soli in power ballads being so very predictable (hey hey I like it okay? okay. it’s still true)

I found more mistakes in the booklet?

GUYS YOU DID THE HELLO DARKNESS MY OLD FRIEND MEME WHY ARE YOU AWARE???

fun fact I never cared for guitar soli but it’s okay (give me keyboard and violin soli)

CALLED IT THANKS FOR THE STRING INTRO I’LL LOVE IT AND PET IT It’s not a violin but it sounds too high for a cello?? Oliver you’re doing the orchestrations and keys/synths, what is this thing

are these background growls??? ok cool but y’know what’s even cooler? FEMALE LEAD GROWLS ok I’ll shut tp I think everybody and their dogs what my fav albums are and what my fav live setup was

is it bad that I want more growls in Kamelot songs

Oliver really had a lot of fun with the instrumentals, didn’t he

TOMMY DON’T OVERARTICULATE INITIAL CONSONANTS on first listen I heard “you’ll be taken away to a world of fish” instead of “world of visions” Tommy no I still love your vocals tho

It’s still notable that he does fewer vocal acrobatics than in Seventh Wonder. Like, less unpredictable melodies. sometimes I almost get the feeling he makes up his Seventh Wonder lines on the spot. anyway

yes Oliver had a lot of fun with the instrumentals (I love it)

good luck dishing that out of your keyboard live, Oliver

It’s Oliver’s band now lol

Uhm. Excuse??? The bonus track is the actual best one? It gives me welcome Mercy Falls vibes TOMMY. YOUR VOICE. POSTER. PLEASE.

excuse me I’ll have to listen to this 30 times now to form an actual opinion instead of shitposting (Kamelot songs usually click with me pretty much initially if they click; what am I saying, 95% click. But I’m still surprised that they don’t click with me on first try on this album, but it might come in time. I’ll pretend it’s a Sonata album that needs 30 runs to click and not one. It’s still great and stuff but it doesn’t sound… new?)

bonus points if you can figure out which songs my commentary refers to but also good luck

I’m done now

I’m slowly but surely becoming like my best friend “Oh, a new Kamelot album! That’s cool! They’re great! I don’t want to listen to it, let’s sing along to the old albums in infinite loops!! That’s my favourite thing!”

[fairydance]

30 Questions Tag

Rules: answer 30 questions and tag some blogs you would like to get to know better

I was tagged by @yourstrulytaebwi ! tysm I feel so honored! I hope this helps in getting to know me :]

1. Nicknames: Chels, Cookie, and a bonus! my dad used to call me chicken little when I was younger lol

2. Gender: Female

3. Star Sign: Capricorn

4. Height: 4 ft 11 in wooooo

5. Time: 10:50 pm

6. Birthday: January 4th

7. favorite band: I think hairbands are pretty cool ;)

8. favorite solo artist: Conan Gray hands down (he counts right?)

9. Song stuck in my head: a japanese christmas song bc my class went caroling today

10. Last movie I watched: uhhh i think Logan Lucky....or the christmas special with Rudolph the red nose reindeer, frosty the snowman, and frosty returns I can't remember haha

11. Last show I watched: HAHAHAHA im literally always watching Big Bang Theory. no joke it's kind of a problem. it's my comfort show so I just play it in the background (plus I have 9 seasons on disc)

12. When did I create my blog: January 24th, 2016 fun fact! same day as @kingarin

13. What do I post: I reblog a lot of positivity, artsy, dog-related, and plants/flower posts. I tried to be general as possible haha

14. Last thing I googled: colleges in WA with early childhood education/child development programs (hahahaha help me)

15. Do I have any other blogs: yeah it's a studyblr @procrastinatingbuttrying it's not very active lol I just have it for reference

16. Do I get asks: occasionally but not often

17. Why I chose my url: story time! so im not very good with words tbh but i really love instrumentals and scores so i used those as inspiration. i was listening to scores and then the score fairy dance (from peter pan 2003) began to play. i was filled with so much nostalgia bc ive always loved that scene and as soon as i looked at the title i knew it was the one. i was really lucky it wasn't taken either tbh

18. Following: 308

19. Followers: 367

20. Favorite colors: purple, mint green, yellow, and lately I've been liking light pink too

21. Average hours of sleep: 6-8 hours

22. Lucky number: 4

23. Instruments: I've played the violin for like 4 years but stopped in hs freshman year

24. What am I wearing: legging sweats?? idk what they're called but it's the same material as leggings but baggy haha and an oversized self cropped shirt

25. how blankets do I sleep with: haha uh since it's winter rn I have 4

26. Dream job: a preschool teacher!

27. Dream trip: um maybe going to like Thailand, Japan, or Rome would be cool! or Disneyworld haha

28. Favorite food: yall I love cookies sm. they're so great. also rice and mangoes (not together but) so good tho

29. nationality: Filipino American and proud!

30. favorite song: definitely Grow by Conan Gray

I'm tagging (only if u want to):

@pressedfloral @kingarin @augustflynns @dustblush @peachisty @cafelite @vtiredgrl @daintyquiescent @whatskidbackwards @spoopyapricot @sleepy-bookworm and anyone else who wants to do it! I would love to read more about you guys!

[airasora]

Tagged by @parsplace

Nickname: Never really had one, except Ichigo (Strawberry in Japanese) back when I was really into anime, manga and Japanese culture. Oh, and had red hair. I was 12/13 years old.

Gender: Female

Star sign: Libra

Height: I legit don’t know x’D *goes to ask mom* She says about 168 cm.

Time: 10:55 pm

Birthday: October 18th, 1994

Favorite bands: Um... Halestorm, Nickelback and Diamante I guess, but usually I love most music, everything has its charm x3

Favorite solo artists:  Kesha, Sam Tsui, Emilie Autumn, Lin Manuel Miranda, bla-bla-bla.

Song stuck in my head: Uh, at the moment I’m pretty obsessed with Compass by Jonathan Thulin I guess xD But the version I have on my computer is one I have sped up a little cause I was introduced to the song through the atrocity that is Nighcore. I like it better sped up, but that munchkin voice annoys the fuck outta me.

Last movie I watched: I’m watching War of the worlds right now actually, for like the seventh time or something xD

Last show I watched: Grey’s anatomy x3 One of my favorite TV series ever.

When did I create this blog: In the beginning of 2016, probably February xD

What do I post: I reblog funny, cute or important stuff. And I post teasers for my (non)Disney crossover videos, my fanfics with Shortaki from Hey Arnold! or edited pictures :)

Last thing I googled: Uh, cartilage chain I guess xD

Do you have any other blogs: Nope, though I did briefly consider making a separate blog JUST for the NSFW edits. Seems redundant though since I always do my best to tag accordingly. Even when I reblog something.

Do you get asks: Yes, and I love them! I’ve always loved quizzes of any kind so getting asks is kinda like that. I mostly love either questions about fandom, shipping, headcanons, but I do like being asked about my life too if someone is c curious. I’m pretty much an open book xD

Why did you choose your url: Well, it’s the same as my YouTube and fanfiction.net name. Aira is the Japanese way you’d might spell my name Ayla and Sora means sky, also in Japanese, and if a reference to my surname x3

Following: 148

Followers: 544

Average hours of sleep: Um... I guess if I’m lucky 8 hours, but I’m the type who wakes up a lot so 6 hours is probably more likely xD

Lucky number: I don’t need luck. I make my own luck... with a luck machine! Virtual cookie for anyone who knows what I’m quoting ;D

Instruments: I do love violins, especially when they’re played by Alexander Rybak, Emilie Autumn or Lindsey Stirling. But I’ve never considered trying to learn an actual instrument xD

What am I wearing right now: Um... a negligee... Hey, it’s ironically my most comfortable piece of clothing! It’s hot people! xD Like, literally, I mean the weather, not... Nevermind.

Dream job: Well, if I have to dream big it’d be theater actress x’D Or self-published author. 

Dream trip: Either back to Japan or to Hawaii!

Favorite food: Sushi or anything with pasta in it xD

Nationality: Danish, and I’m unfortunately not as proud of that as I once were :/

Favorite songs: That’s just cruel... I can’t choose between my babies! xD

Now I tag

@myhollie1911

@asmeeria

@forbiddendesire13

[tt-review]

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Arguably, the most potent part of affiliate marketing strategy for newbies is to have a solid affiliate product selection. When referring to ClickBank specifically, anyone (including you) can be overwhelmed by the amounts of products shelving on the marketplace itself. You cannot afford to wrongly pick a product to promote because a poor product won't solve people's problem (remember the principle why we want to be an affiliate; to help people, not to scrape money all the way) and just because a product is so popular on ClickBank, doesn't mean that the product is fit for a newbie to promote.

After miles of article and forum readings be it online and offline, I recognized that there are general criteria set by experts and advanced affiliate marketers that ensure the products they promote will bang in their market audience regardless of their niche positioned. The criteria also somewhat correspond to what my internet marketing guru taught me in many classes held.

Below would be me my personal criteria when picking up a product that I want to promote. Kindly note that the criteria mentioned are solely of my humble knowledge and through hours of comprehensive reading. I'd welcome positive comments if you have any, so it may serve as a guideline to me and newbies out there:

1) Kick off your campaign promoting a niche of your interest or expertise yet can be monetized while at the same closely converging it to the big three niche; wealth, health and relationship. The three niches mentioned are widely accepted as the evergreen of affiliate marketing but are jam packed with skilled and more experience marketers. Furthermore wealth niche in particular would require you to have considerable amount of proof attributed to your affiliate success, so don't ever sell lies to your potential customer in the first place (by clipping some doctored ClickBank income or fake cars). Don't go however for a niche that may have astounding searches on Google but little people are keen to actually spend on it. Once you have developed your maturity and authority in your newbies niche then you can start digging into the big three. These three niches have the biggest pool to monetize, so don't waste your time drifting into a niche so detail that actually has little to no money making potential. Forget about level of competition momentarily because every niche has competitors lurking anyway. Example: if you are an avid violin player, why not start your affiliate business in violin e-course or selling violin music sheets for starters. This way, not only you know what to say about you are also building your authority faster. Plus buyer will trust you better. The key here is to start with something you are well versed with and knowledgeable about.

2) Take time when finding and assessing any product offered on ClickBank. Select and weigh products of similar niche then filter into more detailed criteria. We want a quality product that solves problems with the fastest and the most effective result. You can't beat the nature of being human itself; we want a fast yet simple solution. Furthermore, you want to avoid after sales issues (refund especially) as a result from promoting poor product. To identify, a good product always comes with good review. Check out the product review on Google; type product name + review to get overall perception of the product. If the search engine results page (SERP) returns with product advertisements, better but try to avoid it as it may be too competitive for beginners. You may want to scout merchant's sales page too. If merchant's sales page able to negate every doubt prior to purchasing, that's the winner. Don't go for a sloppy furnished site that has little proof, testimonials and/ or no guarantee.

3) Look for a reputable vendor/ merchant. A vendor/ merchant is the product owner of the product you are promoting. A good vendor would likely support its affiliates better, usually with marketing tools (solo ads, article review transcripts, etc.) that would be very helpful for newbies. Reputable vendor also means that you are going to ensure your product you are promoting is going to run on a long term rapport because we want to have the product running on auto- pilot mode later on. See if a vendor is contactable through email and observe vendor's promptness, transparency and readiness. If the merchant happens to have seasonal newsletter, subscribe to it so the vendor can assist you in marketing strategies or useful tips. If vendor responds poorly, you can likely tell vendor after- sales response and friendliness. Better yet, browse through vendor's profile on Google to get clearer insight of the vendor.

4) Not many internet marketers would tell you this but this tip is fairly important as for me. Avoid sales page with opt-in subscription, pop- up, free trial and/ or merchant contact. These kind of promotional tools will steal away your potential buyer from your browser cookie if the merchant ever solicit your potential purchaser using their own newsletter or discount pop- ups. You want your buyer to be intrigued of what you are promoting and such leaks actually distract your buyer's attention too. To tackle this tip is very easy, just thoroughly filter and avoid sales page with these criteria. If you are feeling lucky, you can contact (by contacting merchant, you are also doing the above tip) merchant and ask for secondary sales page provided if they have it.

5) Always check product's gravity before promoting. While the gravity determinant differs among affiliates and always opens for debate, it is best said that the fair line for newbies should not run lower than 30 and not more than 100. (30 < product < 100). This is how ClickBank define gravity:

"Grav: Short for Gravity performance statistic, this number represents a unique calculation by ClickBank that takes into account the number of different affiliates who earned a commission by promoting this product over the past 12 weeks. Since more recent transactions are given a higher value, this number can give you an idea of what products are "hot" at the moment, in terms of being promoted by many affiliates and making a good number of sales. However, high gravity can also indicate that there will be a lot of competition in promoting this product."

While it is enlighten to read the definition, even many experts vary their opinion on this. As a newbie, safe to get the idea that if a product's gravity equals to zero (0), it means no affiliates have carded sales in the last 12 weeks. A product with gravity say, 250 signifies that the product has been sold by affiliates for the past 12 weeks. Single digit product gravity tells that the product is relatively low in terms of sales. From my observation, zero (0) gravity products tend to be stuff that has not enough sales for affiliates to promote and push traffic to the site but experts from various forums agree that beyond 100 product gravity means that the product has intense competition, and the product is widely available through mostly advanced affiliates which newbies should avoid. In order to get into the range, just click the drop-down button and sift through the product that meet the range (30 < product < 100). Tips: if possible don't even sit close to 100 because the higher the gravity number, the stiffer the competition. A note of advice though, a low demand niche should be composed of a tighter gravity range. In summary, product's gravity doesn't tell you anything about conversions or how much money a product is making, etc.

6) Go for high earnings per sale. Not wanting you to be greedy but ClickBank houses mainly digital products where no physical storage required and no expiry date for products offered. I guess it is not too much to ask. A point of advice though: search for products that carry initial average percentage of sale between 50% to 75% of commission and avoid product that pays you less than $10 per sale. It is just not worth it. You will be indulging later on with all of the hard work for keyword and product searches, long list of article writings and possible outsourced tasks for site search engine optimization and advertisements. Come on, $10 per sale is measly peanuts for your efforts! Zoom in for a better bargain as there are plenty of products that will meet the criteria. Just set the filter attributes for Avg %/Sale to 50% to 75% but don't forget that priority has to be put to product's gravity.

There you go, a compilation affiliate marketing strategy for newbies- product selection. I hope this would serve as your preferred guide whenever you're taking a dip on ClickBank. If you are new to affiliate marketing, feel free to dig up more information from my website http://ift.tt/2Dq1X5e. Plenty of insights, advice and tips that will help you comprehend affiliate marketing better and ultimately get the taste of your first affiliate marketing success!

[froggybangbang]

@ashes-and-dust​ tagged me (eons ago) in a thing that starts personal and then degenerates into tv show stuff?? and... well here it is

1.) Why did you choose your URL?

You must all know this by now, lol. Okay so 1-I’m French Canadian, a popular insult for us by the English is “Frog” and I highly believe in claiming back insults.2-The first online url I had (well second. I had wolves has my special interest back when I was 12 so ‘wolfy136′ was the first, fleeting url I got) was after I joinned the HP fandom, with my favourite character, thus Lunard136/Lunard1 was born (that’s moony. my wolf special interest faded in the background but it’s still there to show lol). I started going to other websites than HP ones and I was starting to feel like that url wasn’t good for those so I thought long and hard about something I could be me and not fandom related so I wouldn’t have to change it again (because change is good but I hate it) and I came up with “Froggy”. Only to find it was used already. I was tired of the old 136 so I decided to had something about me in the url, something about my temper (I’m definitely a fire sign) and added the “bangbang” because I catch like a barrel of powder. (you dirty mind you if you thought I’d use it as a sex reference! Shame on you! except lol yeah I knew how it sounded and I was fine with letting people who don’t know me think I’m a nympho. what better way to hide I’m not really all that interested in sex, which is weird and not normal, right? right.)

2.) What’s your middle name?

Very few Quebecois have one, those who are afflicted by the old tradition, weather because their parents are religious or because it’s a tradition and nobody questions it have (for girls) Mary Godmother’sName FirstName LastName (for boys) Joseph Godfather’sName FirstName LastName. That’s the format and absolutely nobody goes by the first two to the point that my passport doesn���t even show them because I was told not to put them in if I’m not using them (???!!!? but okay!) anyway my are Mary Diane Kristine LastName

3.) If you could own a fairytale/fictional pet, what would it be?

I’d love a tiny dragon? I’m pretty sure I said “I want a X now!” a few onth ago but I can’t remember what it was... But honestly if I can, in my life, befriend a corvid that’s like. the dream goal. It has been for ever.

4.) Favourite colour?

hmmm I really love orange. every shade but especially the dark burnt one. I also like dark green, dark blue, dark teal and dark purple a lot? I’ll go with orange

5.) Favourite song?

That’s.... not something I can answer. Honestly how can you pick one? IDK I really love In Hell I’ll be in Good Company these days? I really love Phillip Glass’ Violin Concerto No.1 2nd Movement if you prefer no voice. Also Dream Fragment from the Chrono Cross OST because I’m a sucker for music box.

Here are a few of my Spotify playlist, for those interested.

A Little Bit of Everything is pretty much all the songs I like and remember to put on spotify (if spotify has them. They lack in Quebecois music)

Music Rec is songs that you might not know about that exist and you should listen to them, but this doesn’t get updated very often

RN is the playlist that keeps changing. My current obsessions are on that one

In the Summertime are songs for a nice warm summer day with a light breeze and a hammock (or something. maybe a few friend in the backyard and a beer.)

And Sunday Mornings is the playlist I’m listening to mainly on sunday mornings (It’s playing right now) because it fits the vibe of a sunday morning when you start your coffee and still might have an eye glued down

6.) What are your top three fandoms?

errr I’ll go with HP, 1D (*glares at @ashes-and-dust​*) and....hmm. I’m not really active in any of the others anymore. but I guess Sherlock?(though Pacific Rim or Cabin Pressure also fit third place but I think I still read more sherlock fic than I do PR or CP)

7.) Why do you enjoy Tumblr?

This hellsite is my main place for interacting with sensible human beings. I also LOVE *those* posts. you the ones where one person asks a questions/ places a random thought and then.... it just. takes a life of its own? and everyone knows them? The Guam Cookie post is one. The many Aliens finds Humans Weird also. but then there’s the smaller ones like just. They are exactly the kind of stuff I’d be saying with my (ex? maybe?)friend in Rimousky like you say something, and they add something in a deadpanned way that is bviously exagerated/insane and then you add on it and they add on it until you are at the stage that you won’t be buy mayo because, really, having to marry someone from an island so you could get away with murder is much too much effort. That’s why I love tumblr.

PICK YOUR 5 FAVORITE TV SHOWS AND ANSWER THE QUESTIONS:

ugh I very rarely watch tv anymore these are hard.

1. Merlin

2. Doctor Who (until season 5/6 anyway. Moffat killed it)

3. Torchwood

4. The X-Files (haven’t seen the reboot but I’d love to!)

5. ...... Sherlock (I guess? But I still haven’t watch the last xmas special nor the last season? Moffat killed it?)

1. WHO IS YOUR FAVOURITE CHARACTER IN 2?

hmmmmm..... *shakes the Ponds, Martha Jones and Dona Noble in her hand to see which will get out* I’m going to go with Dona. I’m not so in your face, but I really relate with her and she had an awesome friendship with 10, not afraid to give him a good earful if he went overboard.

2. WHO IS YOUR LEAST FAVOURITE CHARACTER IN 1?

Shit idk. I mean Uther and Morgana where mean shit but I loved their characters for what they were..... I’d say between Uther and Mordred? idk. 

3. WHAT’S YOUR FAVOURITE EPISODE OF 4?

Oh shit. Dude do you have any idea how many episode there is of the xfiles?? I’m going to go with the one on the boat, because that’s the one that popped into my head right now (immediately followed by that black and white one when Mulder meets the Gunmen for the first time... that CELL PHONE OMG) and any moment when Scully and Mulder have SASS going on.

4. WHAT’S YOUR FAVOURITE SEASON OF 5?

The first season is the best without a doubt. I’ve loved the second season but in the first one the story were even more concentrated on one story per episode and it was very well thought off and they didn’t overdo it yet, which they tented to do afterwards, as well as letting more episode be one story and not following canon anymore. I’m actually sadden at my lack of consistency at following Elementary.

5. WHAT’S YOUR FAVOURITE RELATIONSHIP IN 3?

Oh. er... Ianto/Jack. but. like. I don’t like to think about that because of children of the earth.

6. WHO IS YOUR ANTI-RELATIONSHIP IN 1?

I know it sounds weird but I really see Arthur and Gwen as bromance who agreed to marry because throne? They have a great chemistry but I just don’t buy it.

7. HOW LONG HAVE YOU WATCHED 4?

The first episode I’ve seen was on TQS with the french dubbed version of the first episode we see the guy that can dislocate every bones in his body to crawl in small places. then I got hooked and rented the VHS of the series, bought books of the series, the official magazines, unofficial biographies (my gosh is the internet cheaper) and watched every episode (at some point switching in the English version on Fridays) until Mulder got abducted. Tried to watch that season but didn’t care to not miss an episode... then I just... forgot to tune in. so that’d be since.... according to WIKI the first episodes in French were in 1994 and “squeeze” is the third one.

8. HOW DID YOU BECOME INTERESTED IN 3?

Because of Doctor Who.

9. WHO IS YOUR FAVOURITE ACTOR IN 2?

Grahhhhh okay I’m going to go renewed series because fhjdsahlsb and it’s still hard but I think I’ll go with David Tenant. Tough Karen Gillan is good too. Oh! fuck and John Simm fuck I forgot John Simm and Life on Mars! damn. Okay John Simm

10. WHICH SHOW DO YOU PREFER: 1, 4 OR 5?

You drive a hard bargain. I’ll go with the X-Files; 4

11. WHICH SHOW HAVE YOU SEEN MORE EPISODES OF? 1 OR 3?

as in proportionally? because I’ve see all of them, but I *think* merlin has more episodes? Though I’ve watch Torchwood more often I think?

12. IF YOU COULD BE ANYONE FROM 4, WHO WOULD YOU BE?

I’m not sure I’d like to be anyone on the x-files that sounds like a very dangerous life. although wait no not true! one of the gunmen! They have the coolest job in the series.

13. HOW WOULD YOU KILL OFF YOUR FAVOURITE CHARACTER IN 3?

*stares* Not like that. 

14. WOULD A 2/3 CROSSOVER WORK?

HAHAHA well. YES, mainly because IT IS a thing between DW and Torchwood.

15. PAIR TWO CHARACTERS IN 2 THAT WOULD MAKE AN UNLIKELY BUT STRANGELY OKAY COUPLE.

The Master and Donna? If, you know, the Master got his murdering tendencies in check. idk I’m not good at pairing people. I pick and chose those who exist in the fandom.

16. OVERALL, WHICH SHOW HAD A BETTER CAST: 3 OR 5?

Damn.... I mean Andrew Scott alone.... but then it got cringey... but I don’t particularly like Gwen but I’m pretty sure it’s not the casting..... I’ll go with Torchwood.

17. WHICH SHOW HAS A BETTER SOUNDTRACK: 1, 4 OR 5?

I do not know Merlin’s Soundtrack well enough to comment on it and I think the X-files’ is pretty lacking, but Sherlock has some very good music, the Irene piece is on of my favourite.

Blergh. I don’t want to tag because lazy. go ahead and give me the answers, though. Especially the music ones I’m always interested in finding new music!

[nofomoartworld]

Hyperallergic: Beer with a Painter: Jennifer Coates

Jennifer Coates, “Large S’more” (2015), acrylic on canvas, 60 x 72 inches (courtesy Freight & Volume Gallery)

“Here’s some macaroni! And here is rigatoni…” Jennifer Coates says to me as she moves paintings around in her studio. It’s hard not to smile and feel like I’m being offered dinner as well as a studio visit. There’s a generosity and enthusiasm — and total willingness to put herself out there — when Coates is talking about ideas or sharing her work. She loves to joke about all things bodily and will talk about alien life, scatology, politics, and painting in equal measure. She is also a fierce gardener, cook, competitive baker, and musician — a vocalist and violinist in a couple of bands.

Coates’s recent work depicts food: spaghetti and meatballs, sprinkle cookies, and s’mores. Her work is about matter and viscosity, but it is also rooted in grid-like structures, repetitive mark-making, and very sophisticated paint handling. I remember being struck by her painting “BBQ” (2014), which I saw in a pop-up group exhibition — thinking it was intense and elemental, and a great painting joke at the same time. Against the backdrop of a painterly grid (a grill seen from above), was a huge slab of meat — which was also just substance: fire, heat, and red paint.

Jennifer Coates (courtesy the artist)

Coates has developed this interchange in all of her paintings since. Mass-produced and nostalgia-filled foods, like Almond Joy candy bars and thick deli sandwiches, are shown in cross-section. Their overall forms suggest biomorphic shapes in modernist abstract painting. They also look weird and over-the-top, gooey and oozing. Acrylic paint, slathered, smoothed, and textured, is likened to the synthetic colors and substances that are part of processed convenience foods, food dyes, and cake icing. Drips of creamy paint become syrup, pasta sauce, and melting cheese.

Coates received her BFA from the Pennsylvania Academy of the Fine Arts in 1995 and her MFA from Hunter College in 2001. She was the subject of a solo exhibition, Carb Load, in 2016 at the Pennsylvania Academy of the Fine Arts, Philadelphia. Collaborative work with her husband David Humphrey was shown in 2015 in a two-person exhibition, Plus Onus, at Arts + Leisure, New York. Prior solo exhibitions were held at Kinz, Tillou + Feigen (2008) and Feigen Contemporary (2006) in New York. Coates’s writing on art has been published in Modern Painters, Time Out New York, and Art in America. She’s also authored a horoscope column for the blog Two Coats of Paint and co-curated the exhibition  The Swerve in 2016 at Ortega  y Gasset Projects, Brooklyn, New York. She is known for her artist lectures / visual essays exploring the phenomena and scientific-social history of bubbles. A solo exhibition of Coates’s work, All U Can Eat, is currently on view at Freight + Volume Gallery, New York, through April 16.

*   *   *

Jennifer Samet: You grew up in a suburb of Philadelphia. I’m guessing, based on what you have told me about your background, that you didn’t actually grow up eating the mass-produced foods that have become a subject of your work.

Jennifer Coates, “Grilled Cheese” (2016), acrylic on canvas, 12 x 12 inches (courtesy Freight & Volume Gallery)

Jennifer Coates: In 2016, I had a show, Carb Load, at the Pennsylvania Academy of the Fine Arts. My mother came to the opening. She was saying to everyone, “I just want you to know, I did not feed Jennifer these foods.” And it’s true! My parents prided themselves on their gourmet cooking skills. I learned to cook from my dad. My friends at school would all eat tuna fish sandwiches on white bread with the crusts cut off. They had ravioli from the can. Those foods freaked me out. And I was just not cool and got teased for everything — from playing the violin to having nice, cute lunches, like a roast beef sandwich with mustard on multigrain bread.

So, I am recapitulating my sense of being an alien as a child. “I’m wrong, everything I do is wrong. I’m different from you, and I don’t understand you.” It is a comfortable perspective, in a way.

JS: Was art-making a part of your childhood? Were there artists in your family?

JC: Drawing was my thing. I drew all the time, picture after picture of wide-eyed little girls. They were like children of the corn, recurring and repeating and multiplying. In high school, I remember being miserable and thinking, “The only thing I have control over is what is on this piece of paper.” From time to time, it’s good to tap into that original impulse — when art history and contextualizing your work can start to take over. It’s about trying to make sense of how to be a person.

Recently, I found a drawing I made for my father, when I was eight or nine years old. He had sprained his ankle, and I was trying to make him feel better. So I made this drawing of an enormous hamburger with five different patties and all kinds of condiments, and his tankard of beer. It’s like you have one idea your whole life, and that’s it.

Jennifer Coates, “Cotton Candy” (2016), acrylic on canvas, 14 x 11 inches (courtesy Freight & Volume Gallery)

My maternal grandmother was really amazing. She took art classes starting in her 50s, and then went back to school to get her BFA when she was already a grandmother. She lived in Canada, and when I visited, I slept in her studio, with stacks of paintings. I saw her thesis show when I was in high school. She had learned how to cast in bronze, she made jewelry, and she made these ambitious paintings that were embedded with her experience of being a Jewish immigrant. She was a difficult person, but always very interested in what I was up to. It meant a lot to me.

JS: There’s something you told me a few years ago in your studio that I always think about. You said you grew up with an atheist Jewish mother and that experimenting with spirituality felt like the most forbidden thing. It was very funny. I’ve been thinking about it, since I know you explore relationships between the Occult and modernist art. You also consider your work to have a devotional, iconic quality.

JC: Yes, when I was an undergraduate at the Pennsylvania Academy of the Fine Arts, I met my friend Sarah Peters, the sculptor. She was involved in a born-again Christian community. Sometimes I went to church with her. I didn’t know if I believed all of it, and I wasn’t necessarily attracted to organized religion. But there was something so ecstatic, which was attractive to me. And yes, I would worry that somehow my mother was going to discover me saying, “Praise Jesus!”

I liked how the ecstatic reorients you to the moment you are in, and wakes you up. My mother saying, “God doesn’t exist… and tell your friends,” just didn’t do it for me. I think anything that makes you feel liberated, in terms of how you see reality, is a good thing. A whole world opens up when we really look at all the things that we put on our bodies, and put in ourselves. I’d rather have that be magical than neutral.

Jennifer Coates, “Picnic I” (2013), acrylic on canvas, 48 x 48 inches (courtesy of the artist)

JS: At that time, when I visited your studio, you were making abstract paintings with a lot of pattern and tessellation. When and how did you move into the food-based paintings?

JC: Around the time you visited, I was probably working on “Picnic” (2014). It was a skeletal black warping grid with stuff oozing out of it. I was frustrated with it and didn’t want to be in this nebulous architectural abstraction anymore.

For a few months, I was background processing, trying to figure out where I wanted to go with the work. I had a couple of experiences that affected me. I visited Nicole Eisenman’s studio. She has known my work for a long time. I saw the painting “Under the Table 2” (2014) in the studio, which shows a huge cutaway of salami, and people hanging around the table. There are flecks of fat and meat in it. I was amazed by the painting, and Nicole said, “You could have painted those dots in the meat.” I thought, “Wow. What would it be like, to go from what I’ve been doing, to painting salami?”

Then I came across an image of a Claes Oldenburg sculpture, “Cash Register” (1961). I thought about how it was completely of its moment, but it also looks like it was dug out of the earth. It was like an ancient sculpture.

I also saw photographs of a friend’s vacation in Iceland. There were beautiful, primeval landscapes, and images of him and his wife, sitting at picnic tables, eating little snacks. Little by little, something started to cement in my head, where I thought, “I can talk about the sublime – this radiant, transcendent presence that I’m trying to coax out of paint, and also anchor it back to the everyday.”

I decided it would be really exciting to go back into the black grid with a gingham pattern. It didn’t change anything about how I was painting. But I named it, and made it specific, so that anyone looking at the painting would read it as a picnic blanket or tablecloth. On this particular surface, everything that happened on it or erupted from it felt food-oriented. A stain wasn’t just a painterly stain; it was a barf stain or something that spilled over. That was the beginning of the food.

JS: It seems that your concern in these paintings is to establish an equivalence between the paint and the food substance. Is that accurate?

JC: Paint can do what it wants to do, and the references can be multiple and diffuse. If I am doing a spray of paint, it is icing as well as a Jackson Pollock move. The food often just stages an opportunity. Is it going to be a Pointillist business, or a zip down the middle, or Abstract Expressionism? It became a way to have a lot more fun.

You also begin to think about all the weird decisions that go into preparing foods. There are aesthetic decisions that are not just about nourishment. You want things to look a certain way, or have a certain ratio of liquid to solid. That struck me as exciting to explore.

When you are spreading something on a piece of bread with a knife, you put it on in a special way. Some kids like more peanut butter, and some like more jelly. There are always aesthetic decisions. And I thought, “Well, that’s funny. Maybe making a peanut butter and jelly sandwich is a painting indoctrination experience.”

Jennifer Coates, “Cherry Danish” (2016), acrylic on canvas, 48 x 48 inches (courtesy Freight & Volume Gallery)

JS: I wonder why, if you are in search of the spiritual, your subject was mass-produced food. Aren’t they kind of polar opposites?

JC: Embedded in it is a critique. These processed foods are toxic — for us and for the planet. If you buy a Danish, you get a plastic-encased thing. You open it up, and the thing inside has more in common with the packaging than it does with something from your grandmother’s kitchen. How did this food become what it is? It is now made from synthetic chemicals, but why is it the shape it is? The Danish is a spiral — an ancient shape. So, for me, it’s a way to meditate on both the mysterious and toxic nature of processed food.

JS: What kinds of discoveries have you made as far as relating food shapes to symbols and forms?

JC: They are theories more than discoveries. I am sort of a conspiracy theorist-type person. I love this idea of, “Guess what?! This thing that you are so used to and never consider is actually the bearer of ancient ritual religious behavior.” I love making up stories about where things came from and finding deep-time precursors — shape rhymes throughout history.

It is interesting that as human beings we’ve been attracted to certain kinds of forms and shapes and behaviors. We tend to say, “It’s just decorative,” but what if there is something in our anatomy that draws us to similar patterns?

Lately, in lectures on my work, I am making connections between pasta shapes and entoptic forms. Entopic phenomena are the result of your visual cortex seeing your neuroanatomy. Experiments, like the ones that Heinrich Klüver did in the 1920s, have shown that people under the influence of certain hallucinogens draw specific patterns and shapes. The shapes are categorized and called “Klüver forms.” Similar kinds of forms and shapes can be found in petroglyphs and early Paleolithic art.

Jennifer Coates, “Everything Bagel” (2017), acrylic on canvas, 72 x 72 inches (courtesy Freight & Volume Gallery)

When I was doing excavation into the bagel shape, I saw images of yoni carved stone forms found in Israel eight thousand years ago. They are thought to conform to fertility or female genitalia worship. They were circular shapes with a hole in the center and a slit down the middle. For me, that’s all I need. You get a bagel, but it’s a bearer of this ancient ritual, affiliated with matriarchy and female shamans.

JS: So when you say they are theories, you’re not necessarily tying to prove them? I know you are interested in the work of Terence McKenna, the ethnobotanist and mystic. How did his work influence you?

JC: When I come up with a theory, it’s not verbal — it is visual. I lay out the pictures.

I want to trust the visual part of my brain — the part that is intuitive, and has shape recognition and pattern recognition. I’m trying to prove my theory through images. My hope is that if you are allowing yourself to think purely visually, you can be very thorough and engaged with what’s around you.

I got into Terence McKenna through the painter Steve DiBenedetto. His lectures are archived online, and I have listened to them constantly in my studio for years. McKenna changed my way of thinking. The desire to dig into history, improvise, and make up a story came from him. McKenna read everything, but he plays with all of the information and ideas. He’s not beholden to any of it. He wasn’t a scholar or a scientist. He just says, “Here’s what I think.”

JS: It seems as if you make a lot of painting jokes in your work. The sprinkles or dots can be abstract ellipses. Are you interested in Pattern and Decoration artists, or Op Art? Who are the figures in art history you are talking to the most?

JC: There are a lot of painting jokes. There are all kinds of moments where I think I can pretend to be this or that artist. It is very satisfying. With the bread and the popsicle paintings, I think about Rothko and Color Field painting. How can the popsicle be radiant? I’m thinking about a color relationship where the paint isn’t just naming something, but also transcending itself.

As for Pattern painters, I’ve always liked James Siena’s work a lot. I like Bridget Riley, but I would want to pee on it. I always want to do something to mess with Op Art.

Turner is somebody I come back to over and over and over again. The moments of light in his paintings are the most impressive and the most physical, but they are also the most ethereal — barely there. It is abject light and also transformative. I love that you can have something be really mucky and crusty, and also a ghost.

Jennifer Coates, “PB&J” (2015), acrylic on canvas, 48 x 48 inches (courtesy Art Museum at the University of Kentucky)

Hopefully, what comes across in my work is a kind of heightened devotional object that has a radiant presence. I was thinking about sacrificial stone altars. The slab, where an animal is getting killed with a knife, is like the first abstract expressionist painting. So making a sandwich and spreading substances around with a knife is like a weird descendent of the sacrifice. Peanut butter and jelly can look like bodily fluids or innards. It is gooey business.

JS: Do you see your paintings as feminist in the sense that they are acknowledging this kind of messiness? It is what Mira Schor talks about in “Figure/Ground” (1989), which is an essay you have cited as an influence.

JC: When I was an undergraduate, I was obsessed with Kiki Smith and body art. It was the early 1990s — that moment when body art was prominent. I took a feminist art history class at the University of Pennsylvania. I came from the Pennsylvania Academy of the Fine Arts, where you draw from life and study anatomy. That art history class showed there was a way to use the body to communicate a political, feminist message. That concern with how the body is fragile, and breaks down, and there is pee and blood — I was really into that. And that interest has never left me.

Jennifer Coates, “Sandwich To Go” (2016), acrylic on canvas, 40 x 30 inches (courtesy Freight & Volume Gallery)

So for me, paint is very bodily. As much as it sort of organizes itself to be a depiction of something, it’s also always restating itself as this amorphous pile of goo. What’s a more amorphous pile of goo than the innards or a decaying corpse? I was trying to paint a sandwich, but then I said, “It is a fucking bloody vagina.” That’s what it is. I want it to look like that. If someone sees something that’s embarrassing and kind of weird, a stain that’s wrong, then I feel good.

I’m really excited about those moments where it becomes unruly and messy, anti-logic or anti-gravity. In his book The Swerve, Stephen Greenblatt discusses ancient Greek and Roman atomistic theory. The idea was that tiny particles shower down in the cosmos, moving in parallel lines. Every now and then, one goes out of its path. That is when things interact. It is that interruption of the pattern, and that interaction, which causes things to happen. Evolution happens. Systems self-exceed. Things progress when there is a mistake. So, I prefer the mistake.

The thing that makes many artists interesting is how they re-tool the past. They confuse our relationship to what we thought was familiar. You have to trust that part of your brain — the part that goes, This, on top of that. Something erupts from the matrix and the orderly. Then, all of a sudden, everything is exciting.

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