#also not feeling like reality is falling out from under me as much yay for sleep and food and a cat and sobriety

[holdingcaulfields]

if anyone cares abt my Mental Breakdown Updates (tm) i am now on different antidepressants to the ones ive had before + have come back home so i stay sober 👍 am currently sad but no longer the saddest i have ever been

[jogetsobsessed]

Not Strong Enough - Paul Lahote

This is so rushed and you can tell lol. I started this months ago, last summer. Also I hate writing dialogue and this is basically all that so yay for Jo!

--------------

“ I know you're awake Y/n”. His voice cut through the silence of the night. 

You didn't stir. You were trying to keep your breath even, praying that he would roll over and go back to sleep. He didn't need to be bothered with the late-night demons you were fighting. He had so much that he was dealing with when it came to the pack, Sam has given him more responsibility in the past few months. You knew it was weighing on him but he never complained not wanting to burden you, even when you begged him to vent to you. Seeing him bottle his emotions only caused you to feel more emotional at the thought of him being sad and feeling like he couldn't talk to you. 

“Y/n you're not fooling me love”. He reached out and turned his lamp on before rolling over to face you. Still, you didn't move. 

Embarrassment flushed your cheeks and tears threatened to spill as you attempted to blink them away. Rubbing at your eyes to cover up the evidence of your dejected attitude. Even though Paul was quite literally watching your every move. 

“What's wrong?”. 

“I don't know what you're talking about Paul, you woke me up with your booming voice”. 

He opened his mouth to retort what you said but stopped. Pausing to tilt his head to the side, much like a dog does when watching in anticipation. His eyes scanned your body, up and down as he tried to figure out if something was physically wrong with you. When he couldn't find anything wrong his eyes traveled to yours, locking in place. You just blinked, not wanting to budge. 

“Y/n I love you, and I have loved you since I first met you. I know you. I know everything about you. Like how you always take a gasping gulp of air right before you fall asleep or how after you have been asleep for a little while you start to snore a little bit, not too loud but enough for me to hear. It's something I love, it soothes me. So yes, I know that you weren't sleeping”. 

That was enough to break the dam. 

Tears came out in droves as you bawled, burying your head in your hands. Paul acted in no time, immediately shifting to sit up, pulling you into his chest cradling your head as you sobbed. Fear was pulsing through his veins as he watched your chest heave up and down, gasping to catch your breath. His hand that wasn't holding your head rubbing small circles on your arm, attempting to provide comfort. 

Slowly your tears came to a sputtering stop as you were able to fill your lungs up with enough air to begin to calm down. His hand didn't stop, because he was right with what he said earlier, he knew you. His grounding touch in your moment of panic was one of, if not the only thing that could bring you back to reality. 

You turn your head up. Lifting it from his chest to gaze up at him. 

His face shone with pure love and admiration as he gazed down at you. The hand that had clutched your head moved to your face, his thumb wiping away the stray tears that had yet to cascade down your cheeks slightly puffy from your outburst. His lips softly pressed against your forehead, lingering as he felt you relax under his touch. You shifted again, this time turning so you could lean your head on his shoulder, your legs dangling off his lap. 

“So how are you going to tell me what's going on?”. 

“I'm scared”. 

You felt his body tense under your words. The sudden onset of anxiety filled the dimly lit room. 

“What do you have to be scared of?”. His voice was calm but the way his grip tightened around you was another indicator of his sudden mood change. 

“Becoming a mom, not being strong enough”. 

-------------

You knew it was silly. 

To let this fear consume you. It's not like the idea of becoming a mom was new. You have spent the past eight months preparing for your upcoming life change. Outwardly you put on a confident front. Accepting the advice your friends and random strangers alike gave you unsolicited advice. Spending hours upon hours shopping with Emily and Kim, letting some of the tribe elders teach you how to crochet different styles of blankets for your new upcoming arrival. Learning about the teas made up of all different herbs that were supposed to aid in various pregnancy symptoms like nausea and sciatic nerve pain. You took in all of it. 

But inside you weren't handling everything as well. 

No one wanted to talk about the fears that you were harboring. No one wanted to talk about what had happened to Emily during the birth of her and Sam’s first. About how she almost lost her life because of the blood loss, because children born from the wives of the shifters were larger than ones born to human fathers. About how Sam’s screams could be heard miles away as the healers tried to push him out of the room, away from his dying wife. About how that could happen to you. 

No one wanted to talk about how you could die. 

So every night for the past few weeks as your due date was nearing closer you let yourself think of the possibility, the possibility of your mortality. 

Normally you were able to suppress it enough to fall asleep shortly after Paul. But tonight was different. 

After a day spent in Forks going to get an ultrasound and then to the healers on the reservation, you had heard someone address the possibility of complications. The talk you got from them was different, seeing as the doctors in Forks didn't know about the lineage of your husband, and his genetic abnormalities that could and probably would affect your child's birth. 

Paul had remained stoic throughout trying his best to comfort you without showing any weakness. No matter how much you tried to drill it through his thick skull showing emotion didn't make him weak he didn't budge, that was going to be a lifelong battle. 

But their words had hit you hard, the fears you had been struggling with by yourself in silence were finally being brought to light, and someone wanted to talk about them. And you had gone through all the different possibilities, all the complications, and their varying outcomes. 

And that was why you had remained awake tonight. 

Your fears were fighting off the exhaustion you felt, as your mind was on fire. Paul hadn't brought anything up, other than commenting on how big your baby was getting and about running up north to Port Angeles this weekend to pick up the last piece of furniture for the nursery. It was typical of him not wanting to bring up the things hard to talk about. And you didn't want to fight, not after such an exhausting day so you said nothing, opting for silence. 

Paul didn't know what to say, no amount of circles against your arm could provide comfort in this moment. He couldn't simply solve this problem with his touch. 

“What are you talking about, my love?”. 

“Oh come on Paul, you're telling me you aren't scared. After everything we talked about today. The possibility of me die…”. 

“Please don't Y/n”. His voice broke as he closed his eyes pulling you impossibly tight. Normally you would stop, but not tonight. No, you couldn't bottle your emotions anymore. 

“Paul, we have to talk about it. Please, I can't do this anymore. I am so scared. Paul I'm terrified about what could happen, what if I can't do this. What if I'm not strong enough to go through labor”. Part of you was proud of yourself for fighting back your tears. 

His silence was concerning. But it didn't last long. 

“My sweet girl I want to tell you that there's nothing for you to be afraid of but I think we both know that unfortunately, that's not true. However, you're stressing yourself out over something that has a very small chance of happening -”. 

“But it happened to Emily!”, you cried out cutting him off. 

That hit him hard. 

The pack had to experience the pain that Sam had felt years ago. Feeling what was causing their Alpha to crumble to pieces, to be reduced to tears as he begged someone, anyone, to help his imprint.  

And Paul had never forgotten that feeling, the look on Sam’s face. So when you had broken the news to him, told him that he was going to be a dad he panicked. He had felt the same feelings that you were feeling now but as the months went on he pushed them down. Choosing to focus on the happier things in your pregnancy, accidentally ignoring everything that was bothering you. 

Though hearing you now he had realized he messed up. 

“Y/n what happened to Emily…it was horrible. But look at her now, she is a wonderful mother to three beautiful children. Her second and third deliveries went off without a hitch, you know this”. 

“But I'm not like Emily, she's survived so much. She's invincible”, your lip was wobbling now. 

“You are the strongest woman I have ever met, Y/N. I have complete and total faith in you. I know that you can do it”. His hands were resting on your bump, your child seeming to sense their dad's presence kicking against his palm. 

“Really?”, you sniffled, a small weight lifting off your shoulders. It felt good to have this hard conversation. You knew there was so much you needed to talk about, but the bulk of it could be had in the morning, once daylight was streaming through the sheer curtains.  “You are strong enough”

[iheartfinalgirls]

Hi

Here’s my Clown (2014) oc I was talking abt

(Tagging you @cosmamoon because you wanted to hear about it)

(For context: Clown is a 2014 horror movie directed by Jon Watts. It’s about a real estate agent, Kent McCoy, who, after finding out that the professional clown he hired for his son, Jack’s, birthday party isn’t going to make it to the party, finds a clown costume in a house he’s selling and decides to step in as the clown. But after falling asleep in the costume, he finds that he physically cannot remove it.)

Anyways, my oc’s (These are fairly new oc’s so bear with me, they may not be fully developed. Also this is an au so it won’t exactly follow the events of Clown):

-Charlotte McNamara is a teenage girl who loves loves loves ballet despite how much it hurts.

-She also lives right next door to the McCoy’s and sometimes babysits Jack.

-(This is the part that may be altered a few times because it may not make a lot of sense:) She gets bullied at ballet class because teenagers lowkey suck. They splash her with fake blood because they know damn well shes terrified of blood. This also ruins her costume for the upcoming talent show at the ballet studio, which is meant to take place the day after this incident. Dammit.

-Buuuuuuuuuut there’s old costumes in the ballet studio’s basement! Yippieee! And the costume she happens upon is almost the same style as her old one!

-The costume btw is a white lolita dress, black ballet slippers, and a white mask with a marionette-like movable jaw.

-She wore it to the show. Yay.

-Wait she can’t take the costume or the mask off. It feels like they’re stuck to her skin.

-Like Kent, she tries everything she can to remove this costume. She tries to cut off the dress but it doesn’t work. It can’t be removed.

-She begins to experience bizarre symptoms. Like coughing up a black substance and pulling white strings out from under her fingernails. This happens as the costume begins to merge with her flesh.

-The mask is her face now.

-Oh and she brutally murders a man she caught kidnapping children at some point.

-Her and Kent also try to kill eachother on multiple occasions (more on that later)

-This transformation also makes her better at ballet???

-She also killed the ballet instructor because she’s mean to kids. And then she dwells in the ballet studio, dancing and making webs.

-Once she’s fully transformed, she lured Kent, who’s also fully transformed, into the ballet studio.

-The girls are fightinggggg

-This au has different endings but I don’t wanna get into that now

-Anyways. The costume is actually the skin and face of an ancient demon, Arachna Y’silki.

-Who is this Jane Doe Webby Black Swan lovechild you may ask?

-She lived in the Icelandic mountains. The same mountains as Clöyne (The demon possessing Kent via the clown costume). But they lived in different caves.

-Clöyne and Arachna fucking HATE eachother.

-Seriously, they’ve been fighting for centuries. Get their asses on reality tv!!!

-The reason behind their rivalry lies in the fact that Arachna protects children. Clöyne eats children.

-She would lure children away from him by singing. She would keep children in her cave until it’s safe for them to go back home.

-She grieves the ones she couldn’t save.

That’s the lore (for now) I may have forgotten some details or I just haven’t fully developed the lore. But here’s the current lore.

Will be posting headcanons

[carni-val]

OH YAY!! Can I get the prompt:

“helping their lover out of their clothes and into their pajamas/washing off makeup and taking their hair down after a night of drinking”

with either Arthur (where it’s him who’s drunk and in need of help) or Ray (where reader is drunk and in need of help)??? 😁👉🏼👈🏼

The Way You Love Me [Arthur Pendragon]

pairing: Arthur Pendragon x Reader

summary: When Arthur is set to marry a princess, he gets drunk, prompting you to take care of him and Arthur to finally cross the line from king and his advisor to king and his queen.

author's notes: Thank you so much for requesting and for your patience! It was so hard to decide who to do this with, but I ultimately went with Arthur. I hope you enjoy!

This is also super long because I don't know how to shut up like seriously how do you guys write things under 500 words???

I'm still taking requests from this prompt list for the characters I've already written for in my masterlist!

warnings: illusions to smut if you squint really hard??

Charlie Hunnam Masterlist | Arthur Pendragon Masterlist

Arthur had only agreed to it because his hands were tied. It was just another duty he had to fulfill as king. another, more powerful king - King Landsdowne - had threatened to invade Camelot and loot and pillage the entire area until there was nothing else left. However, King Landsdowne had provided an ultimatum: for Arthur to marry his daughter. This was just a less violent way of the king gaining power over Camelot in due time. While Arthur didn't plan on staying married to the woman for long, he knew it would buy him and his men some time to think of a way to get out of this mess.

Princess Landsdowne was not interested in marrying Arthur either, finding it insulting that her father would sell her off like cattle only to become a pawn in this game he was playing. She was kind and well-mannered: that's what you thought when you had first met her. You were Arthur's advisor but anyone in the same room as you two could tell there was something more there in the way your gazes lingered on one another from across the room, the way the two of you would naturally gravitate toward each other, and the way Arthur trusted you like he did no one else.

Arthur had broken the news to you, but quickly tried to band-aid the wound with promises that this marriage wouldn't last forever. While the feelings you both shared for each other had remained unspoken, the both of you couldn't deny the change of atmosphere in the room when he had told you. While you were hurt so deeply that you had to watch the man you loved be with another, you tried to be as objective as possible as his advisor.

"Maybe you'll fall in love with her over the course of your marriage," you'd tell him and he'd scoff cynically, not even bothering to entertain the thought as a possibility.

The mood in the castle had been somber since the news broke. Even during the engagement party, while Arthur's soon-to-be father-in-law was grinning widely and boisterously expressing his contentment with how things had turned out in his favour, Arthur had gotten very drunk, very quickly. The reality of the wedding had settled in quickly and left a lingering pit in Arthur's stomach. His eyes, although fleeting due to the alcohol, always found their way back to you. He usually caught you looking at him with worry in your eyes, even longing whenever the Princess was near him.

Even though Arthur may think he's too cunning to stay trapped in this for long, you knew it wasn't that simple anymore. In Londinium, Arthur was able to make decisions more freely and face the consequences himself, but now, as King, he had a whole court to take into consideration, because his actions didn't effect just him anymore.

"Your majesty," you addressed Arthur once you'd approached him later that night. Although Arthur hated when you called him that, you knew you had to in the presence of your guests. "I will be turning in for the night," you informed him.

Arthur said nothing, just stared at you with an unreadable expression, like he wanted to say something to you - probably something witty and borderline inappropriate - but he kept quiet, knowing you would never forgive him if he did so in front of his guests.

You had said your goodnights and goodbyes to the rest of the party and made your way to the stairs. You glanced back at Arthur for a moment to find him watching you as you ascended the stairs. You tore your gaze away from his just as King Landsdowne had made his way to Arthur, trying to hold back the tears.

Once you had gotten into your room, all the mental exhaustion hit you at once. You took a seat on your bed, not thinking of much really. Only seeing the look in Arthur's eyes. You wanted to ask him what he wanted to say - if he wanted to say anything, but maybe he was just drunk and wanting to vent to you about how much he hated being King.

Your door stuttered open as somebody stumbled into it. Standing up from your bed and racing over to the door, you pulled it open the rest of the way, to find Arthur, stabilizing himself against the wall.

"Your majesty-"

"Please, don't," Arthur waved his hand as he stumbled into your room.

You quietly but quickly shut the door as you turned to him. "You can't be in here," you whispered to him, panicked as he flopped down onto your bed.

"Why not? I've been in here before," he said, the pillow his face was buried into had muted his words slightly.

"You know why not, Arthur," you rushed over to the side of the bed, turning him over so he was on his side.

Arthur opened his eyes and looked up at you, a longing look in his eyes. “Why not?"

You gave him a warning look as you pulled him up to sit up. "Because you're getting married."

Arthur was silent as you began to take his shirt off. You decided he wasn't going to leave your room, so he would sleep in here on your bed while you took the guest room. You had helped him out of his clothes before when he would wake up drenched in sweat from his nightmares. It was partly why you were so close, because you had seen him at his most vulnerable and had taken care of him through it.

"I don't want to get married," he slurred, lazily raising his arms so you could take his shirt off. "Not to her." You had put his shirt aside, and lowered down to take off his shoes. "I want to marry you."

You stopped in your tracks, eyes flashing up to Arthur as he looked down at you. This was a line you couldn't cross. It just couldn't be done. While it was sort of exciting to have these secret feelings, bringing it to the surface would only cause trouble, especially now, which is why you replied, "Well, you can't."

"Why not?" Arthur challenged.

"Because you're getting married to Princess Landsdowne," you replied, standing up when you had finished taking off his shoes.

"That's not good enough," he replied as you helped him stand up. "Tell me you don't want to marry me," he said once he was stabilized on his feet.

Your eyebrows pulled together, “What?"

"Tell me you don't want to marry me," he repeated. "I've seen the way you look at me and I know that look because that's how I look at you," he cupped your jaw in one of his hands. "I love you and I know you love me too."

Hearing him say those words out loud and bringing the truth to the surface struck fear in your heart. "Arthur," you breathed out, gently leaning into his touch.

"Tell me you don't love me," he whispered once he stepped closer to you.

"I can't," you admitted, "But I also can't tell you that I do. Camelot will-"

"To hell with Camelot," he cut you off. "If I'm planning to get out of the marriage later then I might as well not marry her at all."

You felt your centre of gravity pull you closer to Arthur. Everything he was saying was what you wanted to hear from him for so long, but you couldn't get swept up in the emotions. You were his advisor and you had to remain objective when it came to Camelot. "Innocent people cannot suffer because we want to be selfish," you retorted as you pulled yourself away from him and helped him out of his pants.

Once he was out of them, you went to your dresser and shuffled through the drawers, looking for a pair of Arthur's pyjamas you had kept stashed there for nights he couldn't sleep and had come to your room instead of his own after a long night of work.

Once you had pulled them out, you slowly dressed Arthur, taking your time because you knew it would be the last time you would do this. You helped him into his pyjama pants before helping him sit down. Out of the corner of your eye, you noticed his stare didn't ever leave you. He was studying you, trying to figure out how to break your professional resolve, but the alcohol was making it hard to do so.

"You're so beautiful," he muttered, his words muddled together. "You'd look even more beautiful in a wedding dress."

"Arthur," you warned before gesturing for him to lift his arms.

"Or even with my ring on your hand," he continued, his eyes half-lidded as he stared at you with a slow burning ember of desire.

You had pulled his shirt onto his body after giving him a warning look, "You're drunk."

Once it was on, you noticed his hair had gotten ruffled from his shirt. You reached up, gently stroking the misplaced hair back. Arthur sighed, his eyes shutting as he allowed himself to indulge in the way your nails gently brushed his hair back and ran along his scalp. Only you could settle him this way, he only trusted you when he was his most vulnerable.

You watched as his face had finally relaxed. Over the past few weeks, the muscles had been so tense due to all the stress of this situation and you just wanted to ease it somehow. The dark circles under his eyes were still prominent, telling you he'd been losing sleep over this. Regardless of the toll stress had taken on him, he still held the beauty of a painting: still, mysterious, and at your complete mercy to simply be adored.

You let your hand trail down the side of his head to rub over his temple; your other hand coming up on the other side and mirroring the action. Arthur's head lolled to one side in absolute pleasure, your hand holding his head in place. Upon feeling his hands on your hips, you inhaled sharply, surprised at the action. Arthur's fingers gently curled into your waist, willing you closer to him as he opened his legs to accommodate the space you took up. The less proximity between the two of you, sent the same flow of relaxation through you as you believed Arthur was experiencing right now.

You let your thumb caress his eyebrows before moving down to his eyes and running your thumbs over the bags under his eyes. Arthur's head leant back, giving you full access to his face. You let your fingers run down the chiselled planes of his face: your fingertips rolling over the curve of his cheekbones, your thumbs caressing the hollows of his cheeks before you let your nails gently brush through the hair of his beard along his jaw. He was beautiful, there was no question about it. And you loved him, even the darkness that he carried with him.

Arthur opened his eyes, looking up at you. He was looking at you with that look and you knew you were looking at him with the same, knowing you may not be able to look at him that way after tonight or touch him like this, or have him this way: in the most intimate way anybody has ever had him.

"Kiss me," he urged you softly. He felt desire swirl in his stomach, like a child in a candy shop, he wanted nothing more than the sweet feeling of your lips on his right now.

With the sound of the party downstairs still in full swing, you decided one kiss wouldn't burn Camelot to the ground. Although, tomorrow, it might blow your world to smithereens.

You stepped even closer, feeling Arthur wrap his arms around your waist. You didn't miss the quick inhale from Arthur at your sudden movement. You cupped his face in your hands as you leaned down. Arthur straightened up his back as much as he could to meet you in the middle quickly and eagerly.

Your lips suddenly collided with Arthur's. Upon the contact, you wanted to be as close to him as possible. You two had shared a bed on more than one occasion, curled up against one another, but just the simple touch of his lips against yours was enough to have you wrapping your arms around his neck to bring him as close to you as possible.

You felt Arthur pulling you forward as he slowly leaned back, kissing you with a ferocity that both sparked and settled something in him. You reached down, pulling your dress up so you could put a knee onto the bed as Arthur lay all the way back, never disconnecting his lips from yours.

"Tell me you love me," he pleaded in the midst of the kiss. "Even if we can't do anything about it, just knowing you do is enough for now."

"I love you," you admitted, a bittersweet taste in your mouth after saying the words, but nevertheless, you said it again, "I love you the way you love me."

***

Camelot's sun came streaming in through your window in the early morning. You felt a gentle brush against your cheek, prompting you to open your eyes. Upon doing so, you saw Arthur's beautiful blue eyes taking you in, smiling when you smiled at the sight of him.

"Good morning," he whispered, looking down at you from his propped up position on his elbow.

"Good morning," you greeted with a yawn before nuzzling into the crook of his elbow that was holding him up, your heavy eyes shutting again.

"Let's get married." your eyes flew open, surprised that he was still fighting for this. "A priest is coming today, part of the preparations for the wedding," he began as you opened your mouth to speak, "We can catch him if we get up now and he can marry us."

His persistence, although unnerving most times, made you smile in this moment. "And what about Princess and King Landsdowne?" you quirked a brow.

Arthur shrugged, "I can't get married if I'm already married to somebody else."

[just-dreaming-marvel]

My Queen

MAIN MASTERLIST

Tony Stark x Fem!Reader

Word Count: 1,240ish

Summary: heyy, could I request a fem reader x tony stark very fluff, he loves her a lot and is a softie with her and treats her as a queen, please? / Can I made a request a maybe relaxing time with Tony?Maybe sitting in the sofa, watching tv and cuddle time. Something like that.

Warnings: mentions of making love and bathing each other

Notes: I hope that this is good and fluffy for you. (AND YES, I’M STILL ON BREAK. I HAD SOME INSPIRATION AND DECIDED TO BE KIND AND POST THIS FOR Y’ALL.)

TAGLIST INFORMATION

“Tony,” you whined, trying not to make it annoying. You stood in the doorway of his lab, wrapped up in a blanket. “Tony.”

“What is it, honey?” He responded, still fully focused on his project in front of him.

“I want cuddles.”

He couldn’t help but laugh lightly as he put his stuff down and faced you. “You want cuddles?” His arms crossed over his chest.

“Yes,” you pouted. “Please?” There was nothing really calling for cuddles. Nothing went wrong, you were feeling okay. You just wanted to be close to your boyfriend.

Tony laughed as his arms spread and he beckoned you to him. “Come here, babe.”

“Yay!” 

You rushed over and practically jumped into Tony’s lap. Your arms snaked around his waist as your face buried into his neck. An almost involuntary sigh passed your lips as he held you close.

“Better?” He wondered.

“Much.”

He kissed the side of your head. “Good. Would you like to go up and do this more in the bedroom?” You answered with a nod. “Okay.” Tony easily maneuvered you so that he was carrying you bridal style.

“I can walk, Tony,” you giggled.

“Oh no,” he shook his head. “If you want cuddles today, then you will get cuddles and be treated like the queen you are.”

All you could do was smile at his words. You relaxed in his hold and allowed him to carrying you up to your shared bedroom. He laid you down on the bed. As you went to pull him next to you, he pulled away, causing you to pout.

“Oh please don’t look at me like that,” Tony said. “I’m just going to run and get a few things. I promise I won’t be long.”

You pursed your lips and nodded, willingly letting him go. You didn’t know what he needed to get. But you knew that he would be quick if he knew what was good for him. You cuddled into the blanket around you and brought Tony’s pillow up to you. You had slightly drifted off when Tony finally came back.

“Okay, okay,” he announced his presence. “I grabbed all your favorite treats and snacks.” He began to set things out on the top of your dresser. “I grabbed water and your favorite drinks. FRIDAY has loaded up your favorite movie and tv shows up on the tv. Oh, and I have the menu’s to our favorite restaurants so that we don’t have to leave the bed all day.”

“I love you,” you smiled at him.

“I know,” he shrugged it off playfully. “But I’m not done.” Tony rushed into the bathroom. You could hear him digging through somethings before coming back out. “Your favorite lotions so that I can give your feet and hands a massage.”

You moaned. “That sounds great. Can you, uh… can you massage my feet right now, actually?”

“Yes.” He came over and sat down beside your feet.

“FRIDAY, turn on my favorite movie.”

“Of course, Miss,” the AI responded as Tony put lotion on one of your feet and began to massage.

You let out a sultry moan, closing your eyes. “That feels amazing.”

“You’re going to have to watch those sounds of yours, Y/N,” Tony scolded, teasingly. “Or I’m going to have to treat you like a Queen in a different way.”

“We can do that later,” you smirked, peeking one eye open to look at him. “Especially if you keep doing this.”

Tony massaged both your feet, taking his time and being gentle, before moving onto your hands. While he did your hands, he would pepper kisses on them and up your arms. He fed you the snacks he had brought in and kept you hydrated. You felt so blessed. All you wanted was cuddles and Tony had decided to completely throw his scheduled day out and treat you like a queen. How he kept making you fall more in love with him, you’ll never quite understand it. You fell asleep while Tony was washing his hands from the lotion. He smiled as he crawled in beside you and pulled you on top of him. He kissed your cheek as his held you there.

When you had come asking for cuddles, there was no way that Tony was going to say no. You were so cute and he had realized that he hadn’t had a lazy day with you in a long time. He also realized that you deserved to be pampered after constantly having to put up with him. As he held you close, he made a mental note to do this more often.

Tony briefly fell asleep, still waking up before you. He told FRIDAY what food to order as he still held a sleeping you on top of him. Happy was the one to bring the food up and quickly left before you even noticed.

“Y/N,” Tony called gently. “Sweetheart, food’s here.” You groaned. “Again, you got to stop making sounds like that. Cause you’re just asking for trouble.”

“Yeah?” You mumbled. “Maybe I want some trouble.” Barely moving from your spot you began kissing Tony’s neck. He squirmed from underneath you. “You okay there, honey?”

“Oh you little minx.” Tony quickly flipped you under him. 

“I thought that I was a queen?”

“You can’t be both?”

~~~

After a good, long, love making session, Tony started a bath for the two of you. He lit some candles and dimmed the lights to create a romantic atmosphere. Then he carried you over to the tub, setting both of you down in it. Tony helped you get comfortable against him, allowing you to fully relax. Especially since you let him have his way with you.

“Your so beautiful,” he whispered against your wet skin. “How did I get so lucky?”

“I should be asking you that,” you replied. “You’ve been so good to me all day.”

“You deserve it. You have to put up with me and my antics all the time.”

Tony and you worked together to carefully wash each other. Each pressing tender kisses over the others skin. Tony left the bath first, drying himself off and wrapping the towel around his waist before helping you. He dried you off and helped you into a silky night gown, before taking care of himself. You two sat on your bed and ate the food Happy had brought while watching some crappy reality tv.

“How come the Avengers don’t have a reality tv show?” You wondered.

“It’s come up in meetings a few times, but I keep saying no,” Tony responded.

“Why?”

“Because those people are so fake and the paparazzi just tears their whole lives to shreds.”

“Don’t they already do that do you all?”

“Yes. But right now it’s on my terms. If we did a reality tv show, then it wouldn’t and I wouldn’t be able to protect you as well as I wish to. I hate it when the press says awful things about you, I wouldn’t be able to stop it all if it was all out there like that.”

You cupped his cheek. “You’re so sweet. I love you so much.”

“Not as much as I love you, my queen.” He eagerly kissed you.

“My queen?” You repeated softly as you parted for a brief second. “I think I like the sound of that.”

“Good. Because I’ve already had FRIDAY change your contact name. It’s staying.”

[theodora3022]

Playing tricks with the trickster

Summary: Failed escape attempt from yandere Childe. He lets you play your cards, even playing along, just for his own amusement.

Notes: My first genshin piece yay... I had a sweet and terrible dream of me running from Childe in the woods. Also some inspiration was drawn from @cinnamonest‘s this post, one big virtual hug to her! I hope I did Childe justice, what can I say I love manipulative smiling boys. It has become a pattern as I dash from one fandom to another. This is had turned out to be longer then I expected...Ginger boy demands my time and energy too much omg. Mind the warnings, although there is nothing extreme in this.

Fun fact, I was looping to Nintendo game by Alessia Cara when writing this down. I believe it fits the theme of this fic quite well.

Tagging: @akutaguagua a great friend who patiently beta-read this mess of a horror dream and gave me lots of kind praises! 

(Offical art belongs to miHoYo! This is a cover page of this video, if there is any issues, contact me and I will remove it at once)

Warnings: Implied past abduction,dub-con touching, mild degradation, drugging(not on reader), implied non-con/dub-con at the end, this is not healthy love and I do not condone this irl.

It has been nearly a month since the youngest Fatui Harbinger had “taken you in”. After a few tries, you were too horrified by the punishments to continuously fight him. You learned on the first day that Childe’s smiling, the friendly mask would come off towards you. Your behaviour would decide if that is a curse or a “blessing”.

So you had quieted down, struggling to restrain yourself from yelling or screaming, carefully not to provoke his anger. Despite being compliant to his orders, you never truly showed him any affection either. Sure, you would sit on his lap if he asked, but you never initiated anything intimate with him. No matter how much Tartaglia spoiled you with clothes, books, jewelry or other luxuries, he is still the one who holds the commanding end of your shackles. It’s the best not to get used to all of that when your sight is set on the door.

Although he has taken your freedom away, you are not kept in a windowless room. On the contrary, you have too many outings now. Wherever he goes, you have to be present in a 2m radius, including meetings. Being a Harbinger is no easy job, so he prefers not having to worry about your safetly during buisness hours. The best way to do that is never let you out of his sight.

“Love, no one should witness our little problems. Well, no one alive that is.” Of course you wouldn’t want to put innocent people's lives at stake. You never dared to act out when you two are in public, and no one would bat an eye if a Fatui had taken a lover. 

You had taken an emotionless approach towards him. If Childe wants a kiss on the cheek, you’ll give him a quick light peck. If he wants breakfast, you’ll go make some pancakes with the topping he likes. Luckily, Childe had not done anything too extreme yet. If cuddling to sleep does not count as extreme that is. The only time you slipped up is when he suddenly hugs you from behind when you’re cooking.  

You thought maybe, just maybe, by being as boring and dull as you could, this bastard might just get tired of you and let you go. Childe only loves the fun of it right? Or maybe it could lower his guard.

Oh, how naive you are. You should have known better than to underestimate a Fatui harbinger. See, this is exactly why he needs to keep you around. Yes, unfortunately for you, Childe loves you, so very much. Speaking to him with a monotone voice isn’t going to alter that fact.

You have been devoid of emotions as of late. While Childe does appreciate fewer screams for the sake of his eardrums, this schemer can sense you are up to something. Perhaps this is the peace before your “storm”(he thought of it more like a drizzle)

You want to play a game? Okay, why not? Childe cannot wait to see what tricks you got on those sleeves. Are you ever getting away? Does an amateur ever win when they play a game with a professional trickster? Never.

Still, nothing bites like a cornered rat. You are no airhead, and he is fully aware of that. Just not as cunning and observent as him, that’s all.

The way you just kept your emotions sealed up is impressive, even to someone like him. Even when he got hansy, you did not flinch and just stared at the corner. Childe can only catch faint glimpses of anger when you thought he wasn’t looking.

Hm, when are you pulling your trigger? Tonight, or tomorrow night? Not that Childe is impatient, anything from you is worth waiting. But he would need to dismiss his patrolling underlings in the nearby woods beforehand. No extras would be allowed to disturb this game.

There is no chance during the day, a somewhat mutual understanding for you two. Night time in comparison, is a different story. 

Anyone’s sleeping hours is their most vulnerable time of the day, Childe is no exception. You do not plan to harm him, not that you don’t want to. But you are willing to swallow the pent up frustration towards him if you would never see his face again after this. Maybe beating up some slimes would help with the release?

You somehow managed to slip a mixture of herbs into his tea. Since he would buy cooking ingredients for you from time to time, you had requested a bunch of herbs along with the ingredients of a sleep inducing medicine you remembered. Although Childe does all he can to keep you near him, there are inevitable hours that he needs to be somewhere without you. He cannot jeopardize your safety with troublesome monsters. On a side note, he loves showing you off to anyone, his colleagues, acquaintances, business partners, anyone he does not deem a threat.

Enough time for you to make those herbs into powder and cover it up with a few spoons of milk. Tea with milk has become quite popular in Liyue as of late. Childe has grown to love them, so you have learned how to mix it up. He always let you handle his food and drinks, saying that he “trusts you”. What you do not know is this is one of the openings he exposed on purpose. It’s not like you can aquire anything deadly under his suffocating supervision.

Your plan will work, or so you think. Childe will not wake up when you wiggle out of his grasp, because dreamland will keep him occupied. All you need is a glider and a usable sword from Liyue and you’ll get your life back. Bottling up extreme emotions has certainly taken a toll on your mind, but it will be worth it if that is the prerequisite of being free.

Something about this being so easy sits ill with you. Have you really been with the youngest Fatui Harbinger this whole time? But that was brushed off your shoulders by the sheer excitement of regaining your long lost freedom. You know Liyue is in walking distance, all you need to do is cross these woods and-

The moment you dive into the forest, you think you heard an amused chuckle. 

That smooth voice terrifies you to no end, the same voice you took orders from for the past month.

Oh, how Childe loves seeing you happy. It’s priceless, both literally and figuratively. No matter how many things he buys you, you had not shown him even one small smile. Enjoy your sweet freedom, because it ain’t going to last. You certainly will know your place after this right? If not you are just dumber then he give you credit for.

That glow of relief in your eyes is worth every last bit of this intense dizzying feeling to Childe. To make sure your plan go through, he had drunk the tea without hesitation, quick enough to catch the momentarily excitement you expressed. He knows the game is on, therefore he had given the night patrol guards the entire evening off. Forcing himself to stay concious by digging his nails into his palms, Childe followed you into the woods.

Your potion is quite strong. Excellent, you’ll have to give him the recipe for informational purposes later. Especially how you managed to achieve such effects with a few herbs you had. He never took you to be anything less than a smart girl, but this has exceeded his expectations. Where’s the fun in a game without challenges?

How you storm through the forest wearing that cute terrified expression looks so endearing, it’s surely not his fault if he wants to enjoy this sight to be longer right.

So, each time you feel the slightest at ease due to whatever reason, expect Childe to make some sound to send you running like your life depends on it again. The sadistic man is hunting you down playfully, like a cat chasing a stray mouse to the inevitable corner.

You know he is toying with you. There is nothing you can do to make him shut up though.

“Love, you had scratched your leg. Must hurts by the looks of it.”

“Liyue is that way, you know.”

“Are you tired? If you want to jog in the middle of the night, you should have called me to come along!”

How can he say those things nonchalantly while you are trying to escape from him?  Here he is, daunting you with that signature smile he wears so very often. That is when reality slaps you right in the face. No matter how hard you plan, no matter how fast you run, there is no getting rid of him.

When your stamina runs out, a simple pull and push on your left wrist is enough to let you fall onto the ground panting. Even now, you still refuse to beg for mercy. You would take the cold grounds to the warmth of Childe’s embrace anyday. 

“Aw, burnt out already? Pathetic. Looks like we need to work on your stamina more. But this is not the place for exercise.”

“Look at me.” His slender but forceful fingers tilt your head up, making you look into those ocean blue orbs. There is anger present in his eyes, but those emotions are more a mixture of delight and that. His smile had also been replaced by a mocking smirk. “You, trying to leave me? Your sense of humor is...well, let’s just call it unique. Lucky for you, you amused me nonetheless.”

“I know what you’re thinking. How I’m a selfish jerk and you hate me. Why be so ungrateful? You get to live in luxury thanks to me, you know. I am selfish, yes, but look how stupid you are. I know you added something extra in my evening tea, my beloved.”

“Come now, we are going to do some exercises suited for a night like this once we’re back home. It is our one month milestone, after all. You had already given me your gift, it is only fair for you that I do the same.”

Childe is not making a sarcastic remark. The thrill of that chase was the best fun he had in months. And you are going to love his gift too, maybe not right away, but surely sometimes after. 

You have to mentally prepare yourself for the worst as he dragged you back to the prison, hopefully you’ll still be able to walk properly after whatever Childe got in store.

[feetoffire]

Captain Christopher Pike, the rec list

I had this almost finished and ready to post, and then the kitten wiped everything, so here it is, a gazillion years later than I wanted. Yay. 

Ongoing - the fic is complete, but not all chapters are posted

WIP - fic isn’t finished

Incomplete - last-updated-more-than-a-year-ago WIPs

recs under the cut; spoilers abound

AOS

Gen

Pike’s Office by AnxiouslyGoing. Poor Jim has a Tarsus related panic attack, and ends up sleeping in Pike’s office/on Pike’s lap. Academy Era, bonus appearance by Spock, dad!Pike. 2k oneshot.

Another Life by LullabyKnell. Time travel fix it for ST2009. As ever, LullabyKnell gave us a spectacular, delightfully well-written fic. Dadmiral Pike, even if he’s technically a captain at this point. No pairings, everything is platonic. 12 chapters, 61k, T. Complete. 

Watching the Cloud of Dust by AngelQueen. Pike runs into Spock Prime while seeing the Enterprise off. Cue melancholy fluff (it follows Spock Prime around like a dog). 1.7k oneshot, G.

Phil Boyce/Chris Pike

horizons universe by gracieminabox. Massive, massive series spanning the whole of Chris’ life. Not canon compliant, i.e. Pike Lives. “Christopher Pike, in word and in deed.” Series, 263k in seventeen parts, G-E. 

Altered Horizons by InsaneSociopath. The bar fight goes very differently because Chris gets elbowed in the face. Featuring depressed!bipolar!Chris, who is Not Having A Good Time, Emergency Department (ED) doc Bones, and mother-hen!Jim. Phil is essentially Sir Not Appearing In This Fic, but he and Chris are married. Seven chapters, 14k, G. Incomplete. I adore this one. 

When Darkness Drifts by InsaneSociopath. Tarsus fic. Jim gets adopted by Starfleet but still ends up on Tarsus, except Chris is there. All Tarsus-related warnings apply. Jim and Chris centric; Phil is most present in the last few chapters. Six chapters, 44k, M. Complete. 

Kinktober 2017 by nerdqueenenterprise. What it says on the tin. Series, 13k in eight parts, T-E. Complete. 

A Vacation Long Overdue by nerdqueenenterprise. Reunion sex, mostly. They haven’t seen each other in six months, so they take leave on a remote beach. ~9k oneshot, E. 

The Weight of a Man by imachar. Another huge series charting the evolution of Chris and Phil’s relationship. Both canon compliant and canon non-compliant, so there’s a choice if you want it. Series, 174k in sixteen parts, M-E. Complete. 

shatterproof by gracieminabox. Will Make You Cry. Phil’s POV, STID compliant, featuring a picture from their early days. 4.3k oneshot, M.

Winged Desires and Veiled Persuasions by imachar. Post-Narada, ignores/was written before STID. Bones ends up hanging out with Phil and Chris at Spuhura’s wedding reception, and then the three of them have sex in Phil and Chris’ hotel suite. Pretty much pure smut. 12k oneshot, E. 

McPike

The Wind and Its Satellite by severinne. Long series, some BDSM, eventual Bones/Jim/Pike. Something of a McPike classic. Series, 186k in twenty parts, M-E.

Partridge Fallen From the Pear Tree by severinne. Post-divorce Bones works as a prostitute to make ends meet. Pike comes to town to recruit him, ends up paying for a night without knowing Bones is Bones, and then they both freak the fuck out when Pike realizes who he is. More-or-less just smut and angst. Pre-canon. Three chapters, 12k, E. Complete.

Singularities Verse by FrancescaMonterone. Bones and Pike fall in love, Pike adopts Chekov, Jim is Jim. Bonus Admirals Archer and Reed, and Archer/Reed. Mostly pre-canon, ace Pike. Series, 81k in six parts, T. WIP. 

Need by Noranem. Post STID, Pike and Bones invite Jim into their relationship and their bed. Established McPike, early days Bones/Jim/Pike. Four chapters, 12k, E. Complete. 

Pirk

See All The Stars by HoneyBeeBritt. Chris and Jim fell in love some time before Daystrom. Fluff and angst, with a happy ending promised in part four. I come back to this one regularly, especially part one. Series, 6.2k in three parts, T-M. Ongoing.

Shining On The Quay by topaz. Post-Narada through Beyond, ignores STID. Chris and Jim fall in love, get together, and figure out how to keep a relationship going when one of them is in space and the other is an admiral. Series, 32k in three parts, E. Complete. 

You Still Got Wheels, Kid by withthepilot. Yes, this is partially on here because it’s one of the few (good) fem!Pike fics. Pre-canon, Pike finds out Jim’s alive because she (not Winona or Sam) is listed as his emergency contact. Prostitute Jim. Takes place two years before canon, I think. 12k oneshot, E. 

Moments along the path by InsaneSociopath. Jim, through no fault of his own, is assigned to Pike as an aide bc Command thinks he’s a loose cannon. Pike is delighted /s. (he warms up eventually.) Some Tarsus PTSD; also a fair amount of fluff. Academy Era slow burn that goes right through to (immediately) post-Narada. 46k oneshot, M. Second chapter is artwork. Long but 100% worth it. 

How Do You Want Me, How Do You Want Me? by babykid528. Get together via smut. Feelings abound but talking about them does not. 3k oneshot, E. 

The Ocean Between Us by severinne. They get a drink in a bar. They’re both dead. Something of a get-together fic. Can and Will sucker punch you with feels. STID compliant. 1k oneshot, T.

Mutual Profusion of Good Feeling (aka Wherein the Aliens have a Flair for Mood Lighting) by kayliemalinza. This doesn’t really count as Pirk, but it’s not platonic enough for the gen category. Away mission, the premise is ‘aliens made them do it’ but there’s no sex or fade to black. Romantic, I guess? I really don’t know, but the prose is gorgeous. Also a Pike Lives/returns to the Enterprise AU. 5k oneshot, T.

Timeline Shenanigans

In plain view by IceCream_Junkie, Killermanatee. Pike/Pike. What can I say? The image of Greenwood’s Pike and Mount’s Pike together is very pretty. 2k oneshot, E.

Out of This World by TheAsexualofSpades. Space Puns. That is all. 1.1k oneshot, G. 

Discovery/quasi-SNW

Gen

A Small Storm by EKthered. Spock goes to visit his captain and ends up comforting him instead. Post Boreth. 2.3k oneshot. 

you were never broken by ordinary things by SiderumInCaelo. Michael Burnham & Chris Pike. Michael has only an inkling of what’s going on, but she manages to comfort Chris anyway. Post Boreth. 1.2k oneshot. 

Piler | Chris Pike/Ash Tyler

the chair and the badge by ninjamcgarrett. The boys are soft and in love. Lots of smut, but a fair amount of plot. Their respective traumas are addressed too, so there’s plenty of h/c. Honestly? My favorite from this pairing. Series, 59k in five parts, M-E. Ongoing. 

Reality by aishahiwatari. Initially a take on how these two idiots settled their differences, and evolution from there. Part two is post-season two of Disco. Series, 5k in two parts, E. Complete.

survival is insufficient by topaz. Post-Disco; they get together to remember Discovery’s crew, and then they get together. Traumas are addressed. Part two is a sort-of case fic, TW starvation. Series, 33k in two parts, E. WIP.

Feeling Too Deeply by NightOfTheLand. Established Piler, post-Disco season two couch sex. 6k oneshot, E. 

dancing to a beat of our own, flying with the speakers blown by wolfhalls. Neither of them want to talk about anything, aka Horrible Coping Mechanisms TM. Bottom Pike, quasi-hurt/comfort. 2.7k oneshot, E. 

Christmas in Sickbay by lah_mrh. Chris is accident- and injury-prone and has a new reason to hate spiders. Ash just wants to spend time with his boyfriend. 1k oneshot, G. 

The Pillow Will Disappear When I Forget I Put a Pillow There, Worry Not by prototype_malice. Sleepy fluff and cuddles. (they deserve it.) 665 words, oneshot, G. 

Chris Pike/Una | Number One 

it will take place without witnesses by love_in_the_time_of_kohlinahr. Post Disco, Pike is struggling with the knowledge of his future, so he and Una play chess until stupid o’clock in the morning (as one does), and then he lowkey has a panic attack. Una POV. Also features sleepy sex, but it isn’t plot-important and can be skipped over, if you wish. 2k oneshot, E. 

Overtime by Astronoddingoff. Una has Thoughts about Chris working doubles for the better part of a week. Also men get pegged. Definite sub!Chris. 7k oneshot, E. 

Terminal Velocity by Astronoddingoff. Una pegs Chris and drags his favorite fantasy out of him. Chris is On Board with all of this. Implied poly!Chris (i.e. Boyce/Pike) and hardcore switch/sub vibes from Chris. 6.8k oneshot, E. 

All for One by knightinmourning. D/s universe, where Pike had/has to hide the fact that he’s a sub to make (and stay) captain. Mostly reccing for part two, which has a fair amount of hurt/comfort (and also hints at threatened sexual assault and definite torture; be forewarned). Technically also Chris/Phil and Chris/Spock, but there’s no pairing sex, and part two is entirely Una’s POV. Series, 4.2k in two parts, M-E. Probably incomplete. 

A Gentle Touch by jedi_harkness. Chris and Una shower together. Body worship, no sex. So Much Fluff (and also happy tears). It’s super sweet. 1.7k oneshot, T.

Phil Boyce/Chris Pike

Decompression by Astronoddingoff. Chris is elated by a recent treaty success and the time spent dirtside. Phil does his best to make him even happier. Lowkey sub Pike. Implied poly!Chris (i.e. Pike/One). 3.5k oneshot, E. 

Most Pike/Boyce fics fall under the AOS tags

Una/Phil/Chris

Triangulate by Astronoddingoff. Sex pollen, but they’re already-kind-of-mostly in an established relationship. Recent miscommunications lead to angst. They all love each other and they’re all idiots. Lowkey sub Pike. Two chapters, 20k, E. 

Holy by Astronoddingoff. Self-actualizing featuring religious guilt/conflict, i.e. Pike is a sub and religion is weird about enjoying yourself. 2.7k oneshot, E. 

Happy Birthday by MeganMoonlight. It’s Phil’s birthday. Cue breakfast in bed. 530 word oneshot, G. 

[alice-in-wonderart]

Your writing is wonderful! I’m so happy I found your blog 😊 Could I request some nsfw hc’s for lan xichen, jin guangyao and nie huaisang? Like would they rather take care of s/o or be taken care of, who initiates first, etc. Thank you!

I'm sorry for the long wait, sweetie! It really took a while to get to the spice, but worry not, it's here to make our lives a little more interesting. Let the degenerates in us run wild~ P.S. I GET TO WRITE ABOUT JGY AND NHS CJSJXJS YAY I LOVE 'EM BOTH SM. ❤️💕❤️💕❤️💕❤️💕

Lan Xichen

Lan Xichen seems to be the sweeter, more mellow of the Twin Jades, but don't let that fool you. He is a wolf in sheep's clothing through and through. Behind that sweet smile there is an absolute beast. Part of the Lan genes, ig.

While sex isn't exactly the first thing on his mind, he's had his moments of weakness. But when you came into his life, it was a whole other story. Suddenly, he'd feel MUCH too drawn to you, his mind would occasionally wander to you, or rather - what you'd look like, underneath him, spread out on the silks of his bed, moaning his name, as he -

Gosh, he shouldn't be thinking about this in public.

"Everyday is everyday" doesn't exactly describe the humble Zewu-jun's tendencies, but he isn't any less feral. Intimacy with Lan Xichen is like fine wine - the longer the wait, the better the taste. And with his duty as sect leader, said intimacy would less often than any of you would want.

The moment you two are alone and neither is dead tired, he'd make sure to at least hint at what he desires. He'd leave heated kisses along your skin, run his fingers along your thighs, gently sliding under the fabric of your clothes. It would be pretty obvious what message he'd try to get across.

He'd usually prefer to be on top, since pleasuring you would be his number one priority. Besides, having you completely unravel underneath him would give him a sense of completion, of victory. He wouldn't be opposed to tying you up too.

He'd let you take the reigns occsionally, because of one single reason - watching you ride him is a sight he absolutely adores. The idea of you chasing your own orgasm, trying your very best to keep your balance, nails digging into his chest. Just thinking about it makes him harder than a rock.

And gosh, wrap his headband around your neck, or bite down on it and he'd lose his mind. After all - this is the highest form of intimacy, a sight for his eyes alone. You belonged to him, the way he belonged to you. (fking sap)

He may not be the most experimental per se, but he compensates with a dick worth millions and the stamina of an ancient beast. And it wouldn't take much to rile him up for more. He could easily go a few rounds and then some. He'd tire you out to a point of nearly passing out, before breaking a sweat. So much training really pays off.

Don't fuck with a Lan. Actually....fuck a Lan. Totally worth it.

His aftercare would be so sweet. He'd run both of you a nice bath to enjoy, or if it's too late and you're both tired out, he'd snuggle with you, playing with your hair, whispering how much he utterly adores you, before gradually falling asleep.

Jin Guangyao

Jin Guangyao has a specific air of gentle nobility to him, which often leads people to think he's more on the vanilla side of love-making. But boy, oh boy are they all so terribly wrong.

The boy has lived in a brothel. He's seen the difference between love-making and fucking, and he's mastered both. Sex with him is always a game of guessing, an endless array of surprises. One moment he will be kissing along your neck, gently whispering in your ear, the next he will be pounding into you mercilessly, deep and hard, until your legs go numb and you won't be able to walk for days.

He loves to be dominant and absolutely loves the thought of having you at his mercy. No, you're neither a toy, nor a possession, but he'd absolutely want to mark you up as his territory. He'd just do it in places which aren't visible to the public eye. You have dignity after all.

He'd also lowkey enjoy causing you mild pain. He wouldn't go too far, but the occasional slap on the ass, a bitemark turning blue, roughing up your insides, choking, the occasional rope, or even knife. He never goes full blown dom, but say you need him more than anything, that you miss him stretching you out and you're getting addicted to the pleasure and the pain, and he'd be on you in 5 seconds flat.

Speaking of biting, that's a kink he's more than open to admit. He adores leaving marks on that soft skin of yours. He doesn't care if you hide them, as long as you're aware they're there.

The more he trusts you, the more he'd initiate. He has a reputation to keep up, so becoming part of his private life would be difficult. Keep in mind, you have a lot of walls to climb over to get to him, but once you do - my gosh. You two are in bed ready to sleep? One look and you aready know it's gonna be a rough night. You're taking a shower? He's totally going to join and would make sure you help him clean up very thoroughly. Walking down one of the many vacant corridors in Koi Tower? He'd push you against the wall, spread your legs and make you see stars.

His movements are always carefully calculated, too. With that big brain of his he'd memorize each and every sensitive part of your body and use it to his advantage. He'd tease you to a point of begging and then deny your release until you're seconds away from breaking.

The aftercare is utterly phenomenal. He cares about you deeply, so he'd make sure you're feeling your best after one of your many sleepless nights. He'd clean you up, gently caressing any bitemark he's left, whispering sweet nothings in your ears, then dress you up in the finest silk, and depending on the time - either snuggle up with you to fall asleep, or make you some tea and fetch the two of you some breakfast. Who cares he's psychotic when he's literal perfection.

Nie Huaisang

Nie Huaisang is totally demonic and we all know it. Sex is definitely not a new subject for him. After all he owns enough porn to cover half of the Unclean Realm's grounds. And believe me, he's learned quite a bit from it. Though all the porn in the world can't satisfy his needs, thankfully you're there to lend a helping hand.

He's a 100% switch and he owns it. Sometimes he wants to roll around in bed, bratty and needly like a total pillow prince, letting you take him however you like. Other times, he'd spend hours slowly peeling off your clothes, long fingers working wonders between your legs, teasing you and exploring your body, him permanently burning his name onto your heart.

He is pretty experimental, there isn't much he wouldn't be willing to try, but if he doesn't like something, he'll never do it again, periodt. Love-making to him is a form of art and he loves exploring it to its fullest.

Teasing you in public is one of his specialties. Hidden, risqué touches, heated stares behind intricate fans, dirty promises mumbled into the skin of your neck, robes riding up or slipping off, your or his alike. Likewise, doing it in public, or more so - in a close enough vicinity, wouldn't be uncommon either. Quickies are his specialty. He can get you off nearly everywhere and he takes great pride in that. He loves the effect he has on you and how both of you seem a little more disheveled afterwards.

His biggest turn on is oral. He could spend hours buried between your legs, drowning in your desire, making you come so many times you lose sense of reality. That mouth definitely ain't just for talking. And god, does he like it messy. He loves it when you pull on his hair, thrust into his mouth, or squirm from the over-sensitivity. He loves having to pin you down and pull you towards him. He loves feeling your legs on his shoulders, he loves it all so much, he could come from that alone.

And similarly, get on your knees to suck him off and he will turn into absolute putty in your arms. He'll start off all cocky, of course. We're talking about Nie Huaisang after all. "Oh? You want a taste of me that badly? Well who am I to refuse..." But that attitude of his would fade the moment your lips wrap around him. With fingers tangled in your hair and shaky moans escaping his lips, he'd be at your mercy. Deny his release a few times and he might even beg. Might.

Of course, it never just ends with oral, unless there is absolutely no time left for more. Though even then, he'd make some time. Why work, when you have a lover to please.

Nie Huaisang ALWAYS gets hungry afterwards. So, he'd often go and bring the two of you a third of a feast to munch on. You know the cliché, where you light a cigarette after a good lovemaking? He gets food. Any kind of food. And everybody knows, that if Sect Leader Nie barges in with half a ton of food in his arms, chances are, you won't appear until much, MUCH later, a rosy pink on your cheeks and that tell tale gloss in your eyes.

Thank you for reading~

[thejakeformerlyknownasprince]

Re: Star Wars prequel novelizations - the Revenge of the Sith book is genuinely one of the best things I have ever read and changed my life.

THANK YOU, anon, for reminding me about the Revenge of the Sith novelization.  I just reread it, and my crops are watered, my skin is clear, and — I cannot overstate this — I actually remember why I love Star Wars.  That love has been for too long stolen by The Fandom Menace sucking the life out of those movies to invent a new definition of suffering while digesting them slowly over a thousand years.

Revenge of the Sith by Matthew Stover is one of the greatest works of adventure fiction I have ever read, and it continues to inspire the way I write action sequences and character conflicts.  It does so damn much to transform a movie that is, to be honest, just okay.  There are a couple of big additions from the novel that make the whole Skywalker saga richer, and there are about five hundred little tweaks that deepen the lore in a way that shows that Stover loves Star Wars to the core.

First big addition: having Obi-Wan tell Padmé that he’s in love with Anakin. This is great because yay, queer representation!  But within the specific context of RotS, it also sets up the super-important contrast between Obi-Wan and Anakin.  Obi-Wan, Stover’s novel makes clear, is the quiet and unassuming embodiment of everything a Jedi is supposed to be: he’s selfless, loving, hard-working, and incredibly skilled with the Force.  Obi-Wan falls in love with Anakin, realizes that Anakin doesn’t love him back in that way, and... lives with it.  He spends time with Anakin, supports Anakin, enjoys Anakin’s company, and doesn’t act like the world will end if Anakin isn’t his.

Anakin loves Obi-Wan, in a siblinglike way, and he loves Padmé.  But he’s got a nasty habit of expressing that love through possession and control, through going behind Padmé’s back to “fix” her life without her permission.  Anakin falls in love with Padmé and immediately concludes that he cannot possibly live like this: they must begin a secret relationship, and he must both marry her and remain a Jedi.  Later he destroys the Jedi and eventually Padmé herself because he sees himself as having no way out of that dilemma.

And all the while, Obi-Wan is there in the background.  Also in love with someone with whom he cannot have a relationship, and just… dealing with it like an adult.  Because millions of people are in love with people who don’t love them back, and that’s just how it is sometimes.  It’s selfish to obsess over “having” their love at all costs.  For Anakin, that obsession with saving Obi-Wan and Padmé eventually leads to him killing them both.

When Yoda tells Anakin that he must deal with his fear of losing Padmé through letting go, Anakin takes this to mean “let her die.”  But what Yoda means is not “let her die,” but rather “love her the way Obi-Wan loves you: quietly, selflessly, and with a willingness to do what’s best for her, whether or not that means you get to have her.”  And Anakin never understands that, because Anakin’s view of the world is so intensely egocentric.

Second big addition: updating the Force to explain the Dark Side. Revenge of the Sith, even more so than any other Star Wars, is all about the contrast between the Dark Side and the Light Side.  Here, Stover’s contribution is brilliant; he makes the Dark Side egocentric and the Light allocentric.

Terminology! “Egocentric” in psych refers to the perspective that focuses on how the world affects you and how you affect the world.  At the extreme, egocentric thinking can be believing that a baby is crying in a deliberate effort to annoy you, or that every person in a crowded cafeteria will remember what shirt you wore when you ate there a week ago.  “Allocentric” refers to the perspective that the self is one of several disparate elements buffered around by the world.  At the extreme, allocentric thinking can be failing to realize that others are reacting to your presence, or viewing your own life as one thing you can give to help others.

Stover doesn’t use those terms, but he does describe how Dooku “drew power into his innermost being until the Force itself existed only to serve his will�� (p. 64).  Later, Obi-Wan “gave himself to the living Force… the Force moved him, let him collapse as though he’d suddenly fainted, then it brought his lightsaber from his belt to his hand” (p. 285).  Dooku ultimately loses his fight against Anakin because he focuses on how everyone is responding to him, and misses that Anakin and Palpatine are beginning to build an alternate alliance right under his nose.  Obi-Wan ultimately wins his fight against Anakin because he allows the Force to shove him around, and sets aside his concern with both his own life and that of his best friend while fighting for the greater goal of peace.

Not only that, but Obi-Wan’s understanding of the Force moves beyond that of most Jedi.  He compares “the will of the Force” to “the will of gravity,” in essence stating that simply because it is beyond human comprehension doesn’t mean it doesn’t have its own rules.  One can be a Jedi without needing to understand the Force in the same way one can be a pilot without needing to be a physicist.  In RotS, we see that his refrain of “search your feelings” is a way of calling on a Force user to be mindful enough to accept realities that are already evident, if one can only allow oneself to have that knowledge.

Stover also uses these competing perspectives — allocentric and egocentric — to explain why the Jedi Order falls.  The tight control the Order exerts over the Jedi moves them away from the will of the Force and toward the will of the Council.  Its insularity creates a sense of superiority, which is the reason so many Jedi fail to see their clone troopers as threats until it’s too late. Stover tweaks the Jedi Purge scene to emphasize that the only reason Obi-Wan and Yoda survive is because of their selflessness.  Obi-Wan takes the time to befriend his alien mount, repeatedly confirming her well-being, and then she shields him with her body when his troopers open fire.  Yoda respects the Wookie command and puts himself in a position to assist rather than lead the resistance movement on Kashyyyk, meaning that when a fight breaks out between him and his troopers the Wookies don’t hesitate to side with him.  Yoda and Obi-Wan are the only two Jedi who truly give themselves to the service of others, and thus they are the only two to survive the Purge.

...and the million little favors this book does for the movie.

During the opening battle, having Obi-Wan tell Anakin to “use the Force” to fly a narrow trench and having Anakin roll his eyes at such an obvious suggestion.  It’s a callback to A New Hope, but one that drives home how much more the Force is integrated in the lives of Old Republic Jedi than it is in the lives of Imperial kids like Luke.

Fixing the minor continuity error from Episode III to Episode IV — why would Admiral Motti dismiss Vader as following outdated superstitions if there were millions of Jedi within his lifetime? — by explicitly stating that the Sith are considered a dead culture.  Ergo, Vader’s “ancient religion” isn’t the Force in general; it’s specifically the Sith creed.

Making Palpatine scarier and more seductive than he is in the movie.  Stover’s rhetoric about killing even the Jedi children is frighteningly rational and coherent, and he uses it to give Palpatine some stomach-churning speeches while corrupting Anakin.

Using the novel format for all it’s worth.  Stover skims over the physical-comedy elevator sequence in favor of having Dooku and Palpatine discussing their plans for the war.  He only tells us about Anakin’s conversation with Yoda after the fact, in scattered flashes as a panicking Anakin runs through the halls of the Jedi temple.  He gives us intense focus on Anakin’s mindset while trying to land the broken halves of Invisible Hand, less on what the ship itself is doing.  He cuts away from Anakin and Obi-Wan’s final battle, toward R2D2 and C3PO as they struggle to drag a dying Padmé into her ship out of a desperation to find some small way to help her.

Revealing that Palpatine spends the entire story trying to kill Obi-Wan.  This gets hinted at in the movie, but Stover includes several moments throughout Palpatine’s “rescue” from Dooku when Palpatine sets Obi-Wan up to die, and mentions like eight other attempts on Obi-Wan’s life as orchestrated by Palpatine.  It’s a great character addition, that Palpatine assumes he cannot get Anakin to fall unless he first eliminates Obi-Wan.

Expanding Padmé’s role in the movie (set dressing, and later refrigerator filling) by having her secretly organize and launch the Rebel Alliance right under Vader and Palpatine’s noses.

Those are just examples of how Stover clearly knows the Force, gets the Force, and strives to make the Force more internally coherent.  How he sometimes translates, sometimes preserves, and always improves the pacing and tone of the film.

I haven’t even touched on the FUCKING AMAZEBALLS imagery or introspection in the book yet, but this post is getting wicked long, so I’ll go ahead and leave it here for now.  Point is, all y’all should go out immediately and get a copy from your library and/or used bookstore, because Nonny is right and it’ll change your life.

[toosicktoocare]

prompt:  Yay it's finally letting me ask you! I'm wondering if you could do anything with sick Jason? that'd be awesome. thank you for taking the time to read this :). and also, you're easily my favorite author, and I love you so much. thank you for all you do <3 - anon

prompt:  Hey there. Could you do anything, like literally anything with sick!Jason? - @lettheseabirdscry

“Is everyone in position?”

Tim spares a glance down to see Damian crouched behind a large trash bin, the Robin’s starting position for the recon mission Bruce called all of the bats too, but when bringing his gaze back to the rooftop across from him, it’s empty.

“Hood’s not here,” Tim informs with a frown, unable to shake this nagging feeling that something’s wrong.

“Unsurprising,” Damian scoffs into the comms, his flat tone clashing with Bruce’s deep sigh.

“Robin,” Dick warns over the comms. “One sec; I’ll call him.”

Tim waits, staring hard at the empty spot across from him as if expecting Jason to just manifest before his very eyes, to just stretch through reality’s fabric with some quip about being fashionably late.

“Damn. No answer. Oracle, can we get a ping on his location?”

“He’s probably out becoming intoxicated with Harper.”

Tim doesn’t need to see Damian’s face to know the pull of muted disgust twisting at his lips.

“Arsenal’s out of town,” Barbara mutters flatly in the comm. “And Hood’s phone tracker is showing he’s in his apartment. I can’t get much of a read on anything else. Looks like he finally cashed in on his word that he was going to rig his security systems to block us out.”

“We should move forward with the mission without him.”

Tim considers nudging a loose brick over the ledge of the roof, right above Damian. “He said he’d be here.” Tim knows Jason is a lot of things; he knows that Jason thrives off of disappointing his family, but he’s not one to go back on his word, not with something like this.

“Maybe something came up in Crime Alley? He did say he’d meet us after patrol.”

Tim can hear the worry hidden behind Dick’s easy tone, and he assumes Dick’s carefully redistributing his concern, spreading it out evenly so he doesn’t lose his cool.

“Huh,” Barbara mutters absently into the comms. “His phone tracker says he’s been in his apartment all day.”

“Maybe he left his phone in his apartment?”

“I don’t know. I’ve pulled security camera feeds from Crime Alley, hitting all the locations he frequents, and... well, nothing. Not a single sight of him all day.”

Tim stands fully, narrowly scanning his surroundings for any sign of Jason. He can’t shake the uneasy pull at his chest, and though he’s not physically close to the others, he assumes the feeling’s mutual based on the silence that follows.

“B, I don’t like this. He promised me he’d be here.”

Dick’s no longer working to hide his concern, and that just heightens Tim’s anxiety that something isn’t right. He tries to puzzle together and explanation based on the four times he’s seen Jason this week: twice in Crime Alley on patrol, once two days ago at the Bat Cave, and yesterday walking out of a convenience store. He can’t recall anything out of the ordinary, but Jason’s closed off, more so thanks to the lingering pull of the Lazarus Pit, so normal, outward, physical appearances mean little to nothing.

“Can we delay the recon?” Tim asks. “I’m only ten minutes from his apartment. I can go check and see if he’s there.”

“I don’t want you to go alone.”

“B,” Tim fights back with a groan. “You and Nightwing are thirty minutes out from my location. I can be there and back before you even get here.”

“Take Robin,” Dick says, and Tim has to fight back the unconscious need to sigh loudly. “I know you’re capable, Red, but humor me. You two are stronger together.”

“Do I get a say in this?”

Damian’s voice is bleeding annoyance, and for once, Tim can agree with how he’s feeling.

“No,” Bruce mutters, sounding almost distracted. “Hood has made many enemies since coming back to Gotham, and you have no idea what you are walking into. You both go, and you both come back immediately if he’s not there.”

“Keep the line open, and stay in contact, Little Wings.”

Tim rolls his eyes and grapple hooks off the building, landing near Damian. “Okay,” he mutters into the comm, and Damian only scoffs at him and starts off toward Jason’s apartment, leaving Tim to catch up.

***

“You’re going to hack his security system?”

“Yes?” Tim frowns at Damian. “How else are we going to get in?” He starts tapping at a keypad outside of Jason’s apartment door.

“Knocking?”

“Tried that once,” Tim mutters, mind half-focused on the conversation and half-focused on working around Jason’s security. “Almost got shot.”

“You what?” Dick’s voice is alarmed in Tim’s ear, but he disregards it. 

“And you think breaking and entering won’t get us shot?”

Tim shrugs, working around the final code until he hears multiple locks click open. “Don’t get hit,” he mutters, slowly opening the door. He tenses to alert, and he can see Damian match his stance at his side.

They step inside, quietly and carefully, and though Tim’s been here before, he’ll never not be mutely surprised at how domestic the entire place is. There are books stacked on a small coffee table. A blanket’s draped across the couch, and the TV’s on with the sound muted. The lights are on in his living room, kitchen, and bathroom.

Tim glances at Damian, sharing a silent conversation before they begin their quick, quiet search. Tim starts to the kitchen while Damian pads silently down the hall.

The kitchen’s a mess. Dishes are piled high in the sink and are littering the small kitchen table. There’s a bag on a counter, the same bag Tim remembers seeing Jason walk out of the convenience store with. He moves to it, looking to see various medicines tipped over in the bag. Frowning, he makes to pick one up, but then he hears a very loud gun shot accompanied by a very uncharacteristic curse.

“Damian!” Tim drops the bag and whips out of the kitchen to the bedroom, ripping his domino off as he walks in to see Jason shakily propping himself up on one elbow in bed with an even shakier hand aiming a gun at Damian.

“Jason, stop! It’s just us!”

“Was that a gun shot?”

Tim ignores Dick’s frantic question in his ear, instead edging around the room, eyes searching over Damian in the dark. “Were you hit?”

“Of course not,” Damian spits out, stepping forward toward the barrel of the gun and ripping it from Jason’s hand. He clicks the safety and drops the gun to the floor, and then he’s tugging a glove off and slapping a hard hand to Jason’s forehead, interrupting Jason’s deep, wet coughing.

Damian clicks his tongue, a frowm sharp on his face. “You’re burning up.”

Jason weakly slaps Damian’s hand away, staring a look filled to the brim with sharp daggers between the two, stopping on Tim.

“Did you break into my fucking apartment? Again?”

“Tim, what the hell is going on?”

Ignoring Dick once more, Tim reaches around to hit the light switch on the wall, frowning when Jason winces hard.

“You didn’t show up for the recon,” Tim supplies, his stomach twisting at the sight of Jason, of the angry red splotches coloring his otherwise pale cheeks, the sweat shining on his forehead, the inconsistent shivers wracking his broad frame. He studies the way Jason’s face twists around his words.

“That’s because it’s Thursday.”

Tim’s heart clashes with worry, and he and Damian share a glance. He’s surprised to see Damian sporting a similar look of muted concern.

“Jay, it’s Friday.”

“No, it ain’t,” Jason grumbles, hand slapping around on his bed until he finds his phone.

Tim watches as Jason’s face falls.

“Oh.” Jason spares a glance through his messages, unable to read much because his headache is making it hard to concentrate. He looks up from his phone, turning to see a rubber bullet lodged into the wall beside Damian’s head. “Did I hit you?”

“No,” Damian mutters, frowning. He slips around the room, pausing by Tim on his way out. “I’m going to talk with Father and Grayson. You should get a read on his fever.”

Nodding, Tim waits until he can hear Damian’s quick talking with Dick and Bruce before he moves to Jason’s bathroom to find a thermometer, snagging a traditional, under the tongue, mercury one before making his way back to Jason’s room.

“How long have you been sick?”

“How did you hack into my security systems again?”

Tim sighs, cocks his head to the side. “Do you really have to ask?”

“Fuck,” is all Jason replies with, and he takes the thermometer Tim hands him and slips it under his tongue.

“Three minutes,” Tim says, ignoring the sharp look Jason shoots him. “You know they make thermometers now that will tell you your temperature in seconds, right? Why the hell do you have this old thing?”

“Alfred left it a few months ago.”

“No talking,” Tim points out, and Jason glares hard under glassy eyes.

“Then stop asking me fucking questions.”

Tim’s mouth snaps shut, and once he counts to the 180th second, he leans forward and snags the thermometer from Jason’s lips, studying the 102.4 degree reading, equating it with Jason’s other, apparent symptoms.

“Have you been around anyone who’s had the flu recently?”

“I don’t have the flu,” Jason mutters despite the chesty coughs that rip up his throat. “Just a cold.”

Tim takes a step back and crosses his arms. “High fever, coughing, chills, I imagine you have a headache based on the wince when I turned on the lights, and you probably have a sore throat since your voice is physically hurting my ears.”

“What? Are you a doctor now?”

“No, I’m just not an idiot,” Tim spits back, and Jason only grunts and flops back against his pillow, tugging his blanket up with a hiss.

“Give me a minute, and I’ll suit up.”

Tim... does not expect that, and he’s about to scold Jason in a way he’s sure would make Dick proud when Damian slips back into the room.

“Father called Clark. They are pulling in backup for the recon.”

“Well, why’d he go and do something stupid like that?”

Tim rips his eyes from Damian back to Jason to see Jason shuffling around his room for his suit.

“Jason, what the hell?” Tim spits out, moving to Jason’s side when Jason starts to sway. “Sit down.” He nudges Jason back toward the bed, but Jason, despite how sick he is, fights against him.

“We have a recon, don’t we?” He turns to Damian and barks out a cough. “Demon, call B and tell him we’re coming.”

“Todd, you’re too sick. You’d just hold us back.”

Tim takes the distraction to lightly shove Jason back onto the bed.

“I think I’d rather have Dick here,” Jason groans, coughing harshly into his pillow. “At least he has good bedside manner.”

“He and father are already on their way.”

“Fantastic,” Jason growls, curling in on himself and coughing harshly.

Tim moves to pull the blankets up over Jason’s shivering frame, stopping when Damian’s hand wraps around his wrist. “Let me go, Dami.”

“No. I have very specific instructions to relocate you away from Todd.”

“What the hell? Why?” Tim digs his heels into the floor when Damian pulls on his wrist, but he stumbles forward when Jason lazily kicks him in the back of the leg.

“No spleen, idiot. Get the fuck outta here.”

“I’m fine,” Tim tries, but Damian’s grip is hard enough to bruise, so he relents with a loud sigh. “Jesus, fine...” He rips his hand free and stalks to the door. “Get him medicine and make sure he doesn’t die.”

***

The deep inhale of nicotine burns Jason’s lungs and brings forth a chesty round of coughing that hurts. He absently rubs at his chest, shivering, and takes in another puff of his cigarette, and then another, desperately repeating this action to chase away the edge of angered anxiety that comes when he’s near Bruce. He leans over the balcony with another shiver, watching his shaking exhale cloud before him.

He hears the balcony door open, but the footsteps are too light to be Bruce’s. They are also too determined to be Tim’s, and too deliberate to be Damian’s. He doesn’t look back when a blanket is draped over his shoulders, and he only scoffs quietly when Dick plucks the cigarette from his fingers and drops it over the side of the balcony.

“You would still smoke when you have the flu.”

Jason doesn’t reply, not finding the energy for a snarky retort. “What have you all been doing out there?” he asks instead, tugging the blanket tighter around him to fend off the chills.

“Damian’s cleaned your kitchen, and now he’s reorganizing your movie collection. Tim started reading one of your books, but he fell asleep. And Bruce has been staring at your bedroom door as if willing you to run out and give him a big, bear hug.”

Jason huffs out a laugh that quickly morphs into deep coughs. He can feel Dick’s hand on his back as he coughs into his shoulder.

“And you?”

“Oh, I’m alternating between Candy Crush and Words with Friends with Barbara. She’s kicking my ass.”

Jason smiles, tired but genuine, feeling the anxiety flutter off with Dick’s presence. “How long til you all get the fuck out?”

“I don’t think Bruce is going to leave until he’s sure you are okay. Not sure that we can wake Tim right now, and Damian won’t leave until Bruce does.”

“And you?” Jason repeats, and Dick cocks his head to the side with an easy smile.

“I’ll stay as long as you want me to stay.”

Humming, Jason shivers again, and he allows Dick to guide him back into his room and to his bed. Dick carefully tucks him in, and Jason’s too tired and too feverish to mind.

“I’m sorry,” he rasps out suddenly, and Dick’s hands freeze, and he frowns.

“For what?”

“I promised I would show up.”

“Hey, Jay, it’s okay. I’m just glad you’re safe.” Dick brushes the back of his hand against Jason’s forehead, a sympathetic hum slipping up his throat at the heat. “No more smoke breaks until you’re better. You’re still burning up.”

“You’re saying you’ll support my chain smoking when I’m all better?” Jason bats his eyelashes, and Dick sighs and stands, swatting at Jason’s covered leg.

“Don’t twist my words. I’m going to toss all your cigarette packs out.”

Jason growls lightly, a few coughs mixing with it, and he curls onto his side, wishing the stupid medicine Damian forced into him would kick in a lot faster. “You have until 99,” he mutters to Dick, who’s already filling a small trash bin with cigarette packs.

“What?”

“99,” Jason repeats with a harsh cough that hurts his chest. “When my temp hits 99, I want you all out.” There’s no heat to his tone, and he struggles against the fatigue pulling against him.

“99,” Dick clarifies with a soft smile. “You got it, Jaybird.”

[life-rewritten]

Start-Up The Seo Sisters and Fulfilling a Legacy

Taking a break from the Love Triangle and looking at how Fate brought the two Seo sisters together again. Both girls after three years really made me proud have I said I love how this show portrayed these girls and making them strong and powerful and also a wonderful manifestation of their father's fight, dreams and hopes coming true. It's beautiful. Let's see how much he affected both girls and their journey towards their purpose and destiny.’

CheongMyung: The Seo Sisters and their father’s influence

 Yay, more importantly, we're getting a full circle moment; we started of episode 1 of Start-Up with the focus on the father of our two girls (CheongMyeong) being berated, abused and beaten at work, he finally quits because he has dreams of his Startup. The journey led both his daughters to see his suffering yet Injae saw it as a reason to never be trampled on again, and Dalmi saw it as a reason to be in charge of your own dreams and life. Injae ended up choosing the mother's side for safety and a way to survive, and Dalmi chose her father because she cared more about his wellbeing and presence than comfort. Due to this, she joined in as his inspiration and helper for his Startup idea. As he was about to make a deal, however, his dreams got cut short, thrown away and tossed to the side as he died. 

The person most affected by this was Dalmi who had to give up his idea of the Startup mindset and start working for another company that also used and mistreated her. It's because of Dosan and Injae's mocking, (2 people that inspired and always pushed her for the better), Dalmi finally snapped and decided to go back to her first thought, it's better to be in charge of your own dreams and life. Meanwhile, Injae found her pride stepped on yet again, she also was used and mistreated by someone she called family, she stepped down and decided to fight for her place and own her own dreams and life, she decided to start her own Startup. Both sisters journey led them to Sandbox, which was precisely for them, inspired by their dad's need to protect Dalmi from falling. In a way, both sisters enter Sandbox and reunite with their destiny, to fulfil their father's failed Start Up dreams. It's beautiful. Dalmi makes it an actual reality, she names the company after him, and Injae backs it and invests in it, and becomes the mentor to her younger sister. They both had a part in their fathers legacy. 

Here we go focusing more in-depth on what this means: How has Injae and Dalmi fulfilled or mirrored their father in this show till now? What was Fate's plan for them all along?

INJAE: 

An Image of Lady Yoon: Advice, Mentorship, and Innovation

Fate always had plans to return Injae back to her family roots, her final destination was to be humble, to realise why dreams mattered, to become someone influential with the ability to help and push people. 

Her Father's Downfall

She would become the opposite of all the other companies that misused her father and abused him. When seeing him beat, she made up her mind that the way to survive was to be like them, cold, cunning, mean and greedy for money. Upon entering Sandbox, Fate introduced her to people who'd help her grow: Dalmi, Sandbox owner Lady Yoon and her father's vision (the girl on the swings). Without knowing it, she'd return back under her father's protection, after being tossed out and manipulated by her new family. She found her self like her father alone, hurt and frustrated and wanting to control her own life without depending on people, wanting to prove to people she was worth it. And Injae was worth it, she was highly influential, intelligent and she had experience and had become one of them. But she realised that she had no reason at first for why she wanted to do this; it wasn't money, and doing it for pride didn't fulfil her, doing it their way ended up hurting so many people and caused lives to go into chaos. She realised that she wanted to make the world a better place but not by greed or pride. 

Her father's inspiration: His last words and hope

That's why the image of the girl on the swings hunted her. It reminded her of her father in her life, like a constant reminder she found her self using it as a way to push her self forward remembering what that girl on the swing meant:  A safe space inspired by her father's last words. Sandbox became a shield for her from her stepfather, a push for her to become even better, and a place for her to own her life, and become great. Her father's last words inspired Lady Yoon to make Sandbox for people like her, he was always there basically guiding her each time she looked at the picture. Fate led her back to him, even though she had guilt for looking down and missing out on him. Injae had been so determined to not end up like him when he fell, but she ended up realising that she wanted to be like him, she wanted to be the girl he was trying to protect from falling on the swings painfully, in a way he did that with his words. Creating Sandbox made both his daughters safe and protected every time they lost. It provided a springboard for both girls each time they encountered rejection, failures and betrayals. Sandbox provided them with everything to make their dreams come true, their father actually ended up putting enough sand to stop them from hurting from being pushed on the swings. His last words affected not just Dalmi but Injae too. Sandbox led her to an actual mentor that inspired and drove her to find out her why. 

Her father's Sandbox

Which is why it becomes so beautiful and a full-circle moment to see her also potentially become a sandbox for people like her father starting with her sister. She ended up becoming a safe space for her sister's dreams, for his own legacy to be fulfilled. She ended up creating her own Startup (just like he wanted to do), and she ended up working with her sister to make life easier and accessible for people. Just like he always wanted to achieve with his dreams. Remember without Dalmi she had a different focus, she had an innovative plan, but it caused chaos and mistreatment to so many workers people who probably were like her father at one time you know, feeling dejected, and lost and betrayed. She was very determined to block them out, but Dalmi entered and helped her find a way to make it more sustainable and still helpful to people, without affecting their jobs and workspaces. 

But I find it more fascinating she in episode 14 after three years becomes the very image of Lady Yoon to Dalmi as she was to her. She's giving advice but also not putting her down, she's thinking about helping and pushing for good things, and she is investing and making small companies like her sisters become successful. She embraced what Fate wanted her to embrace, to finally start a startup where she was supporting and helping make lives more comfortable for people to work. She became a sandbox for people like her father and Dalmi. In doing so, she ended up being involved in the creation of a company named after him. She was the person who gave it room to grow, invested in it to make it viable, and protected it by ensuring she mentored Dalmi properly. She watched and guided her father's legacy.

Her father's namesake: Seo In Jae

And that's the last step for her is to throw away the Won identity like she did in Ep 14 after finding out about the blindness of her grandmum, but it also made her realise she was running away from her true self, and her best self, she would receive warmth and love with her family. By dissolving her adoption and becoming Seo again, she embraced her father's namesake again, and that's what Fate wanted for her. Just like she returned into his safety and protection with Sandbox, she returned back to being part of his legacy and being his daughter again. She finally embraced her family's name and returned back to the start, where they were a team, and together. That's her growth, to become humble, to throw away her pride and to finally embrace love, trust and warmth instead of stepping down on others. It wasn't worth running away from who she was when the other version her would have been cold, lonely and broken. By returning back to her family slowly, she'll end up finding love, support and using that strength to be a better version of Lady Yoon. 

Role Models for Injae apart from her father

Dalmi: When Injae first came into Sandbox she stole Dalmi's actual identity as the girl on the swings. She wanted so badly to be that girl who inspired Sandbox and was a valuable source to people. She realised she had made the wrong choices each time she saw that girl on the swings. But that's where Dalmi came in, Dalmi forced Injae to look at things differently, she realised why Dalmi was the face of Sandbox, she was determined and had hope, she wanted to make things easier for people, and fulfil their father's dreams. She wanted to show that she made the right choice. Injae noticed how good Dalmi was, against all odds, she saw how actually Dalmi's choices were always her strength and her will to be better, she had chosen their father whose last words became a safe space for her to become her own person and own her own company. She had chosen Dosan who became one of the greatest and needed engineers in the company, Dalmi had always made choices despite all odds. Fate decided to bring her to Injae so that Injae also finds her own dreams and the reason for why she wanted to own a company. She finally realised her fathers' reason (why) to make the world a better place, to push things and evolve, to grow and protect everyone

Lady Yoon: Fate had made her the mentor of Injae so she could learn and become like her. Someone who listened and cared for people like her dad, who didn't care about pride or greed but cared about innovation and creativity. Injae was meant to learn and follow her lead and become someone like her. And she did, she became like her for Dalmi and probably in the future will become like that for many others, she became the Sandbox for Dalmi not to fall and lose her dreams. In a way, Injae did fulfil her father's dreams and hopes for a chance to startups. She ended up being an excellent resource for making his Startup dreams a reality, she became the mentor and guide to his influence, and she fulfilled his legacy that way. This is why I think she'll become the next mentor in the Sandbox contest/competition or she'll end up taking after Sandbox once Lady Yoon retires. Injae is definitely the person for that, and that's how she'll complete her father's legacy. 

DALMI

The Sandbox image: Ease, Ideas and Inspiration -heart/emotions

Meanwhile, as Injae represents like the chance for her father's last words and hopes to come through. Dalmi is the physical manifestation of her father's image and dreams coming true. She's his inspiration, the actual girl on the swings he wanted to protect, and his number one supporter. Dalmi takes over his role and fulfils his legacy by actually being a CEO of a company named after him built for people to be at ease, self-reliant and without limits. She's her father manifestation of his ideas, she's his physical inspiration, she's also his actual legacy. Here's how:

Her father's pain

Seeing her father being beaten up caused Dalmi to react differently to Injae, she didn't care about his pride being stepped on, she found a reason why he should quit and be in control of his own life. It made have this respect for his braveness, and his determination to create something for people that would help them, whilst also finding something gave him purpose. But Dalmi has also felt like her father after he died, she felt worthless, and she also felt behind and had a lack of status. She felt mocked by Fate for choosing this path, and she even gave up on his Startup dreams to follow society and go work at a company like his previous one. Although she didn't get abused, she was used and mistreated by the company, her potential was overlooked and never rewarded, and she felt frustrated and tired of doing good but never getting anyway. She felt aimless after her father died, and she needed direction.

 Obviously, Dosan came and provided that for her by inspiring her to quit. Now when she did like her father she took the risk, she understood more about why he did what he did and why he was determined to be a leader/owner of his own dreams and business. Whilst Injae saw his downfall as worthless, Dalmi saw his decline and his rise from it as strength despite the fact he failed in the end. She became his revival to keep pushing and fighting for dreams to come true. And Fate backed her up and led her right into his protection (Sandbox)

Her father's presence and guidance

And that's why Sandbox is so essential to her. She'd stayed with her father for so long helping him and supporting him on his ideas, it's why she grew up with her own automatic spark of creation, ideas and determination. She embodied her father as he was her role model. Again Injae didn't see her father as a role model she saw the other higher-ups, she wanted to become them not to get hurt, but Dalmi saw her father as her ultimate guide and role model. He's the one who put in her heart this love for innovation and business, and he's the one who made her determined to succeed. Finding out that he's the one who inspired Sandbox it made her feel secure and determined to prove she was the girl on the swings, she was protected, pushed and guided to become great, to follow after his footsteps but this time is successful. You could even argue that Fate is a manifestation of her father's protection and love, she doesn't know where to go, but Fate is protective and ready to lead her to the right way, even when it hurts Fate offers her an alternative and a way to not fall, same as Injae. 

Her father's inspiration/image

And it's just by her being her self that she fulfils her father's inspiration, it's her heart that makes all products work, her care and nurturing energy for people, she's always been someone supportive and a catalyst for people to create, grow and succeed (her father, Dosan and Injae). In doing so, she becomes the very face of Sandbox company, the metaphor for all the people who are trying to succeed and push through in life. She becomes a hopeful image for freedom, and happiness because she shows that with determination, positiveness, and heart, you can be protected, and guided into your destiny. 

Not just for startups though but for the people in the world, she also fulfils her father's dreams by creating and inspiring ideas that make the world a better place, a safer place, and a more manageable place. But also to manifest his fast paced technology that can change the world that he wanted from the start. To be ahead and innovative. She focuses on the vulnerable and the weak, and she helps them with products that make them self reliant. Its the motto her father wanted to follow, to be self-reliant: to own your own life despite circumstances, to move forward without having to rely on others, to be better and secure in life with no limits to what you can do. This is why her most significant idea is the self-driving car made in a company named after her father's. If Injae is meant to fulfil her father's wish for a sandbox for people to be safe and shielded and guided when lost, Dalmi is intended to represent the autonomous car, self-reliant products for people to be determined, and confident and ahead without limitations. 

Honestly, this post was difficult to write, but I hope you understand what I'm trying to say. Fate wanted both Dalmi and Injae to return back and make their father's dreams a reality: a dream for a startup that helps people, a dream that helped make him own his life and not be used by people, a dream where people like him could be safe from falling too hard when they fail at first, a dream where people are one step ahead, and the world is more comfortable and limitless. By having Dalmi and Injae work together for 3 years to make the company named after him a success, both Dalmi and Injae fulfilled everything their father wanted in life, and they embodied him and fulfilled his legacy. By bringing them together, Fate also provided both sisters with a chance to reunite and go back to the start and have support, trust and love again with each other. Both also became self-reliant, stronger, and bigger than the people who looked down on them and Dalmi ended up proving she made the right choice, her father was always needed, the worthy and best option all along. 

[fluffykitty1999-blog]

Dog of the Military- Chapter 6

So to be honest, I just intended this to be some good old humor and relief of Ed sleep talking while he's drugged up. But in reality, it turned out a little bit darker. And I'm perfectly okay with that lol. What’s this? A button to donate to my caffeine habit? Here ya go... 

Chapter 6- Nightmares

"Nuugh..." Roy looked over as the lump of blankets that was Edward Elric shifted on his bed. Roy had finished his calls- back to Central, alerting Hawkeye that he'd found Fullmetal and intended to bring him home tomorrow. To Hughes, asking just what hell he could wreck on someone who unjustly imprisoned and tortured a state alchemist. And to General Gruman himself, to report Colonel Bank's misconduct and begin the proceeding for an official court martial.

Now, it was nearly midnight and he was up to his elbows in paperwork for all of the above reasons.

Still, he couldn't really be mad at Ed, since it wasn't like the boy had asked to be held captive by that bastard.

Roy was loathe to admit it, but Ed looked much more childlike when he was asleep. It was almost... cute. Almost.

"Alfonz..." Ed slurred, twisting around on the bed.

Roy pursed his lips, frowning. The doctor had promised Ed would rest through the night, but he certainly didn't sound asleep.

"M-mom!"

Ed's voice rose an octave, and Roy frowned. He was about to say something, try and convince the boy to roll over and go back to sleep. Ed was silent for one moment, two... maybe he'd already fallen back asleep.

"Don't do it! Don't! I said stop dammit!"

Ed vaulted out of bed, stumbling like a drunk and barely managing to catch himself on the nightstand and stay upright.

Roy quickly got to his feet, intent on putting the boy back into bed, but Ed saw him and wove his was over to him, grabbing onto his coat and looking up at him with terrified eyes.

"T-the hands. So many tiny, black hands. L-let him go! I told them to let him go, but they wouldn't, and Alphonse- gone!" It was something in the tea, Roy realized. The laudanum the doctor gave Ed might've acted as a painkiller, but he also was no longer lucid, and apparently having a night terror of some sort.

Ed looked at him with wide, teary eyes. His pupils were smaller than usual, Roy noted- it just made his golden eyes look bigger.

"Don't do it. Don't activate the array." he pleaded, a tear finding its way down his cheek.

"Edward." the boy looked like he was going to fall over any minute, and Roy placed both hands on the boy's shoulders, trying to steady him.

"We didn't know what we were doing!" Ed burst out.

Roy had heard rumors about what happened when one committed the ultimate taboo. Alchemists who saw things- stories of black hands that dragged people to a strange place, one not meant to be touched by humans.

Not knowing what else to do, Roy pulled Ed into a rather awkward hug, pressing the small blond head to his chest.

"Edward. Shh, Ed, it's alright. I know. You were just a kid, you didn't know what you were doing..."

Ed was trembling like a leaf in his grasp, and Roy looked down to see the boy looking up at him with those impossibly large eyes, pupils dilated from the medicine.

Ed reached up, grabbing a fistful of Roy's coat. "D-dun ever do it." he muttered. "Pure white. All of it. So much noise and I couldn't scream. And that... thing- he took my leg. He didn't have a face... just teeth." Ed paused, looking into the distance but not really seeing anything.

He swallowed thickly. "All white." his voice was barely above a whisper, and it had a sing-song quality to it. "No color. I hated it there. Bit my own arm until there was blood just so there was color..."

Ed's body seemed to decide to give into the pull of sleep, and he sagged heavily against Roy, who gathered the teen into his arms and deposited him back onto the bed.

Ed still hadn't let go of Roy's coat.

"Don't ever do it." Ed whispered, looking at him desperately.

"I won't, Ed. I won't." Roy assured him. Ed didn't look much more at peace, and Roy found himself sitting on the bed beside the boy, carding a gloved hand through his bangs.

"I know you probably feel quite odd right now, Fullmetal. That's okay. The doctor gave you some medicine- I think it's given you some vivid dreams..."

"It's real." Ed insisted, reaching up to grab Roy's hand and holding it in both his own, as though he were afraid Roy would disappear if he let go.

Ed looked so... lost, Roy couldn't bring himself to pull away.

"Yes, it is real, Ed, but you're not there anymore. You're here, with me, in the inn, remember?"

Ed blinked drowsily.

"Let me get you some water..." Roy stood, gently disentangling his hand from Ed's hold and grabbing the mug off the beside table, moving to the bathroom and filling it at the tap.

He moved back beside the bed, handing the mug to Ed, who looked impossibly pleased as he took it the mug and held it in his hands. "Thank you."

Ed sat there for a solid minute, grinning at the mug in his hands as though it were the best thing in the world.

Roy chuckled. "You're supposed to drink it, Ed."

Ed blinked at him before doing as he was told, lifting the mug to his lips and taking a large sip, smacking his lips.

"It's delicious." he declared, looking into the distance.

"I'm glad the tap water here is to your liking, Fullmetal." Roy was having a very, very hard time keeping the amusement from his expression. He chuckled.

Ed looked up at him with those golden eyes. His large pupils and golden irises gave him a cat-like look. "Why are you laughing? What's funny?" Ed gave him an easygoing smile and wiggled beneath the blankets. "I wanna know the joke!"

Roy paused. There really wasn't a joke- except that the Fullmetal Alchemist, Hero of the People and dog of the military was a 13 year old boy who acted like an adorable child when dosed with launadum.

Still, Roy couldn't miss the opportunity to mess with the kid. He smirked. "Alright. I know a really good knock knock joke, but you have to start it."

"Knock Knock!" Ed said eagerly.

"Who's there?" Mustang said with deliberate pleasure.

Ed's face went from excited to the prospect of the joke to confused, since he didn't know what to say to continue the joke, before his expression was alight again when he realized that was the joke. He laughed a little. "A-alright. You got me with that one."

"Did I now?" Roy feigned innocence.

"Yeah. But it's my turn. Knock knock."

"Who's there?"

"I eat mop." Ed said with certainty and intensity.

Roy paused, frowning. He didn't see where this joke was going. Maybe it was some drugged out thing that only made sense in Ed's head?

Ed looked as though he was about to burst with excitement, he was practically vibrating on the bed waiting.

"...I eat mop who?"

Ed looked as though he was about to piss himself from laughter just as Roy got the joke.

"Y-y-you just said..." Ed trailed off, unable to stop laughing. "Y-you s-sah-said..."

Roy sighed, though he couldn't help the smile on his face. "Very clever, Fullmetal."

"Y-you said you... eat poo!" Ed was doubled over laughing now, clutching his stomach.

"Easy there, Fullmetal." Roy reached out to rub the boy's back. Ed couldn't help but laugh, but he was breathing harder and Roy could see the pain creeping onto his expression.

It took a minute for Ed to fully calm down and stop laughing, and by then a tear or two had trickled down his cheek.

"Gah, it hurts..."

"I know. Just relax. It'll fade if you take a few breaths." Roy kept rubbing gentle circle's on the boy's back through his shirt, being careful to mind the areas he knew were injured.

Once Ed had settled down, he laid back against the pillow. The kid looked pretty spent.

"Anything else hurting, Ed?"

Ed shook his head, eyes half closed.

"Alright, Fullmetal. Get some rest..." he moved to stand and go back to his paperwork.

"Wait! Don't go. I'll miss you." Ed looked up at him sadly. "Stay... a little longer? Please?"

Maybe it was because it was such a childish request. To not be left alone. Or maybe it was because the boy was out of it on painkillers. Or maybe because it was the first time he could remember Edward had used the word please when talking to him. But he sighed, taking a deep breath and pulling his desk chair over to sit beside the kid's bed. "Alright, Ed, I'll stay for a little while."

"Yay." Ed's voice was nearly a whisper. He really was almost asleep. Within ten minutes, the kid was out.

Roy found himself watching the boy's expression for a few moments- Ed was resting easy again, features relaxed, lips slightly parted- the boy really was just a child. And, as the cuts and scratches on the boy's face reminded him, he'd taken a pretty horrific beating from the sounds of the doctor's report. Why hadn't Ed just given up the information? It would've saved him so much pain...

"Rest up, Edward." he reached over, tucking the blankets further around the boy's chin before he stood up, and with some difficulty, dragged his chair back over to the hotel room desk. Somehow paperwork seemed much less fun after sharing knock-knock jokes with his drugged up alchemist.

Roy stopped the pen mid-stoke, turning to look at the sleeping boy on the bed. He couldn't make out much, but Ed was still fast asleep. Still, since when had the boy become his alchemist?

Roy stopped to think. Ed had always been under his command, he was new, rash, impulsive, but... It'd been after the Shou Tucker Incident, he realized.

He'd gotten a call late at night from Hughes- Ed and Al had just been told they could no longer stay and study with Shou Tucker after Ed had tried accessing the man's research in Central. The boys had gone to stay the night at Hughes.

"I just got a call. They want me team to deploy to the Tucker Estate. Something bad had happened. And..."

"What is it, Hughes?"

"Ed and Al aren't in their rooms."

"I'll be there in five minutes."

He'd ridden with Hughes to the Tucker estate- his eyes eagerly scanning the road, the yard, everywhere. He'd busted into the room filled to the brim with chimeras- abused, suffering beasts in pain. The investigations personnel on the scene looked up, surprised, at his entrance.

All Roy could see was the rather large spatter of blood on the floor.

"Where's my alchemist?" he asked the nearest officer.

She frowned. "Shou Tucker has already been taken into custody, Sir..."

"Not Shou. My alchemist, the Fulletmetal Alchemist, Edward Elric... He should have a seven foot tall suit of armor with him."

The woman frowned. "No one was here when we got here but Tucker, Sir."

He'd found Edward in the alley later that night. Sobbing his heart out over a dead chimera he couldn't save. And selfishly, as he and Hawkeye sat in the car and watched over the boys in the distance, Roy had been relieved. Horrible things had happened. But at least his alchemist- his Ed- was okay.

That was probably the moment Ed had become 'his alchemist'. It was as close to it as he could remember, the first time he'd said it out loud, anyways. But he'd probably been calling the boy that longer in his head.

Ed wiggled around a little under the blankets, and Roy sighed.

Ed. Leave it that boy to worm his way into his heart.

[skyemak]

Cater Gets a New Do

Cater stood under one of the various trees of the courtyard. His hands were deep in his pockets as he swayed heel to toe. As a cool breeze brushed his skin, the leaves above him rustled slightly. Again, Cater glanced around the courtyard, and looked behind the tree. With a sigh, he pulled out his phone from his pocket, both to check the time and to check for any Magicam notifications. Recently there hasn’t been much going on at Night Raven College nor at his dorm. It was about two days since his last post, which was unlike him. However, he felt a sort of creative block recently, and no matter how many selfies or pics he took, he didn’t feel they were up-to-par to post to Magicam.

“Oh, Cater-senpai, what’re you doing here?”

Cater glanced up from his phone, a relaxed smile appeared on his face when he saw his familiar underclassman. “Hiya Ace-chan!” He raised his hand by his face, making a peace sign. “Yuu asked me to meet her here after school—said she wanted to ask me something. I wonder what it is~”

“Heh, I think that’s obvious.” A smug smile grew on Ace’s face.

“Hm?” Cater dropped his hand to rest on his side. “What’re you thinking, Ace-chan?”

“Nothing~ Just get ready for a new confess tag to post on Magicam,” Ace chuckled to himself, strolling away.

Cater blinked and looked down at his phone screen before quickly shutting off the screen. He grabbed a piece of his hair with his thumb and finger as he stored his phone back into his pocket. “Heh, as if.” But his mind began to wonder.

This school is surrounded by boys, so it’d be no surprise if Yuu-chan got a crush on someone.

She hangs out with the Adeuce combo a lot, so I’d first guess she’d like one of them.

Ah, but they’re not the brightest crayons in the crayon box.

As a human, Yuu-chan would probably prefer another human so they’d be more compatible. At NRC, that would leave Heartslyabyul, Pomefiore, and Scarabia.

Pomefiore is kinda intense in their own way.

I heard a lot happen as Scarabia…

Well, a lot happened since Riddle’s overblot too…

Now that I think about it, Yuu-chan always smiles in the morning when she sees me. It probably isn’t much though since I’m always acting peppy anyway.

Cater used his index finger to lightly twirl his hair in thought.

…But if she did confess… What would I say?

His ears tinted pink as he glanced down. The beat of his heart quickened slightly.

Well, I admit Yuu-chan is a little cute.

Another breeze flew by, rustling the leaves of the tree he stood by. Cater glanced up the wood. Soon the season will be changing, which will probably give Cater better potential selfies for his Magicam account.

“Senpai!” a voice yelled in the distance. Cater immediately turned his head toward its source and saw Yuu running toward him. “I’m sorry for making you wait!” she exclaimed. Yuu approached, stopping a few feet in front of him, out of breath.  She slouched over with her hands on her thighs, trying to catch her breath. “Trein-sensei made me stay late since I did so bad on his last test…” she whined. Cater chuckled, “Heheh, Trein-sensei can be quite strict. I know all too well.”

After a few moments to balance her breathing, Yuu heaved a sigh and stood straight up. She looked directly toward Cater with a determined look in her eyes. “Anyway, senpai!” Cater flinched. Abruptly, he felt his chest tighten. He glanced away from her. “Y-Yeah?”

Yuu grabbed Cater’s hand and held it gently in both of hers. “Senpai, I need you!” she exclaimed.

“Huh?!” Cater erupted. “M-Me?” He couldn’t help but notice how soft her hands felt against his.

Is…Is she really gonna confess?!

Okay, she is more than a little cute now that I see her more closely.

We could also post couple-y photos on Magicam.

I can see the comments now. “OMG so cute!” “I’m so jelly I wanna boyfriend/girlfriend~” “You two look so cute together!”

Wait, I need to consider her feelings too!

Ah, but she would probably expect me to wanna take selfies together.

Wait again, what about when she goes back to her world?!

“Senpai?” Yuu asked innocently, still holding his hand. He snapped back to reality.

“Ahhhh! Fine! Okay! I’ll do it!”

“Yay! Uh, Senpai, why is your face red? Are you feeling okay?”

Cater covered his face with one hand, looking toward the ground. The sound of his heartbeat rang through his ears. “I-I’m fine…” he muttered.

“Great!” Yuu smiled. “Can we do it at your room then?”

“…Huh?”

“I think I could also use two of your clones for it.”

“What?!”

-----

Yuu opened a tote bag swung over her shoulder and began to set out various hairbrushes, a curling iron, flat iron, and other hair products on Cater’s dresser. Cater stood by, watching her bring the products out. He timidly put his hands together and covered his nose and mouth with them.

She… She just wants to practice different hair styles on me…

“Cater-senpai, would you sit here?” Yuu beckoned. Cater twitched a bit in surprise. He looked over and saw her gesture toward a chair, holding a salon cape. “Y-Yeah.” He stepped forward, plopping down on the chair.

“By the way, Yuu-chan.”

“Hm?” she asked, pulling the cape around him to clip.

“Why me…exactly?”

“Well,” she began, taking the clip out from Cater’s hair. “You have nice length hair and it’s easier to try different styles with your hair. Plus, your unique magic makes it so I can practice multiple hairstyles at once! Oh, I don’t need them yet though.”

“Is that so…” he trailed off. Yuu gently ran her fingertips through Cater’s hair. Each time the brushed his hair with her fingers, it felt soothing to say the least. She stepped toward the dresser to grab a brush. Without realizing, Cater let his lids fall as she brushed through his orange strands of hair. Her movements were so gentle and tender, any tension he felt in his body just oozed away.

“I’ll just start with something simple,” Yuu said, setting down the brush and grabbing a fine-toothed comb.

“Okay,” Cater briefly replied.

She used the end of the comb to separate the top section of his hair to carefully tie into a rubber band. Once in, she tugged a bit at the hair in the rubber band at the top of his scalp to add some volume. When satisfied, Yuu again used the end of the comb to section out a piece of his hair at the side of his head.

“Yuu-chan,” Cater spoke up as she began to braid the section of hair. His eyelids still shut.

“Oh, does something hurt or feel uncomfortable?”

“No,” he quicky said, “I was just wondering why you’re practicing hairstyles on me.”

“Yeah, hold on, lemme finish this braid first, Senpai... There, that looks good,” Yuu said, tying the braid into another rubber band. “Well, there’s a couple of hairstyles I wanna try for myself but I wanted to practice them. But there’s a few I wanted to try but hmmm… How should I put it?” She took her comb to section out another piece of hair at the other side of his head. She took that piece and combed it to looked less disorderly. “It’s hard to figure out how to do hairstyles that have the focal points on the back, or that are consistent throughout. I don’t have anyone to kinda help me with that, but I thought if I could try it on your hair, I can get a good idea how to do it for myself, I guess? Plus, I can practice more than one at a time because of your unique magic! So, it’s hitting two birds with one stone, you could say.”

Yuu took the new section of hair and braided it as well. “Ohh,” Cater said.

“Whatever is done to your clones doesn’t reflect your appearance when they disappear, right?” She rubber banded the section of hair.

“No, not really.”

“Good…” Yuu smiled to herself, combining the two braids to the first piece of hair she rubber banded earlier. “Ah, this one is looking cute.” She grabbed a pink ribbon to tie a bow around the three pieces of hair. “I thought it was gonna be easy.”

“What’s it look like?” Cater asked.

“I’ll take a pic,” Yuu said, taking out her cellphone Crowley had given to her not too long ago. She snapped a quick note before facing the screen toward him. “See?”

“Oh, that’s a cute look! It’d probably would look really cute on you, Yuu-chan!”

There was a brief pause. Cater felt his cheeks redden. He just said what popped into his head without realizing it. The man was grateful Yuu couldn’t see his face. Yuu pulled her phone away from view, and quietly replied, “You think so…?”

There was another short pause before Cater spoke up, “So, you said you needed two clones to practice?”

“Uh, yeah,” Yuu answered abruptly. It involves using a curling iron, so I wanted a backup for when I mess up.”

“Okay, Split Card!”

-----

“Hey, Yuu-chan,” said Cater copy #1, “you did good makin’ these wavy curls.” He shook his head joyfully, singing out the curled waves in his hair. “They’re so bouncy!”

“Oh yeah,” said Cater copy #2, “I have this nice braid crown going over my head.” He gestured toward the top of his head. As he said, a braid wrapped around his head, and a few strands of hair dangled from the crown. “Truly I am King Cater!”

“Which one is Yuu-chan working on now? Number 4?” Cater copy #3 said, rocking an orange mohawk.

“A-Are you sure you want me to shave it?” Yuu asked timidly to copy #4, hesitantly holding a pair of clippers.

“Yeah, sure, go ahead!” Cater copy #4 delightfully replied. “Doesn’t affect the original! Plus, it’ll make for fun selfies to put on Magicam.” The other copies shouted, “Yeah!” in unison.

“I don’t need my followers to think I changed my hairstyle 5 times in one day!” the original Cater spoke up.

Yuu had asked Cater to make two clones of himself originally, to have one as a backup, but found she only needed one try to figure out how to curl waves with a curling iron. Then she asked for another two to try the braid crown in case she needed a backup, and then it just snowballed from there.

“Cater, you want me to try shaving the side of your head?”

“Yeah!” Copy #4 said, “I always wondered about those asymmetrical cuts!”

Yuu glanced over at the original Cater. He just shook his hand as if to say, “Go ahead.” Like copy #4 said, it doesn’t affect the original.

“Okay, here I go…” Still unsure, Yuu turned on the clippers, causing a faint buzzing sound.

-----

Hard thumps could be made out in the Heartslabyul dorm hallway carpet. The dorm leader was gritting his teeth, his face red in anger. “What need would he have to make his clones and make such a racket?!”

“Calm down, Riddle,” Trey kept pace beside Riddle. Trey’s efforts were only brushed aside as Riddle trampled on, beelining to Cater’s room. As they neared, loud sounds of giggling and laughter echoed behind the door. Ready to cast his unique magic the second he opened the door; Riddle grabbed the doorknob with great vigor. The next second, Trey’s arm swooped in front of Riddle’s body.

“Riddle,” he said. His voice was gentle, but stern. “Let’s access what’s going on before doing anything drastic, okay?” Trey smiled reassuringly. Riddle took a deep breath in before heaving a heavy sigh. The red faded from his face. “Fine,” the dorm leader said, almost with a pout.

“Uh, Cater-senpai, er, senpais?” a female voice said behind the door.

“Don’t worry!” said Cater.

“We’re just having fun, Yuu-chan!” said what again, sounded like Cater.

“Yuu?!” Trey stated. His eyes opened wide in shock.

“That’s it!” Riddle forced the door open, stomping inside before yelling. “Cater!”

“Yuu, are you--?” Trey began but cut himself off.

“Oh, uh, hi,” Yuu awkwardly waved at the two. Not in any danger, but a bit tense, Yuu was sitting in the chair the previous Caters sat in before. Multiple Cater clones were pointing at her hair or held a piece of it in her hand.

“A fishtail braid would look great in her hair!” said the Cater with a braided crown.

“You know our sisters said we sucked at it growing up!” said the Cater with wavy curls.

“Well practice makes perfect right?!” said the braided crown Cater.

“I think a French braid is a classic. Plus, we were usually good at them growing up,” said Cater with a side-shave. His arms were crossed as he stared at Yuu’s hair in thought.

“Uh, Caters, maybe let’s not tug at Yuu-chan’s hair,” said the original Cater, his hair still with the braided back style.

“Don’t be so stingy,” braided crown Cater said.

“Yeah! I know you’d wanna do a fun hairdo with her too, since you could take a couple-like selfie with it!” said cater with the side-shave.

“Wha--? Why would I?!” the original Cater argued, but pink flushed his cheeks. He dared not look at Yuu’s face. What sort of expression she was making, he had no idea.

“’Cause we’re all thinking the same thing?” said Cater with the braided crown. “We haven’t posted anything on Magicam in a while anyway.”

“Uh, I kinda have some other homework I needed to get to tonight…” Yuu mumbled, looking as lost.

“I think we should try something new entirely!” slipped in Cater with a mohawk. In his hand were the clippers from before. With a smug look on his face, he turned them on. Yuu yelped.

“OFF WITH YOUR HEAD!”

Riddle’s signature collars appeared on all the Caters’ necks. Then, all the clones poofed out of existence, leaving just the original Cater, still in the collar.

“Oh, hi there, uh, dorm leader…” Cater mumbled, trying to avoid any eye contact.

“What’s going on in here?” Trey asked.

“Hair styling practice?” Cater hesitantly answered.

Riddle sighed. He crossed his arms and stood with authoritatively. “Cater, you’re making too much noise. Also, it’s past the allowed time for visitors. I won’t punish you for breaking the rules this time but be aware. I won’t be as forgiving next time.”  

“Y-Yeah, I’ll be sure not to let this happen again,” Cater said, bowing toward Riddle.

“Glad it wasn’t something major…” Trey remarked. His forearm leaned against the side of the doorway. “Alright, Riddle, let’s let them clean up.”

“Hmph.” Riddle turned on his heel and walked back into the hallway, Trey following closely behind.

“Uh, hey!” Cater said, running toward the door. “What about this collar?” A few seconds later, the collar vanished from his neck. He heaved a sigh and walked back into his dorm. Yuu was already packing up her supplies, and just about finished.

“Um,” Cater spoke up, gaining her attention. Yuu looked toward him, zipping her bag up and swinging the handle over her shoulder. He put his hand at the back of his head. For a few moments he stared at the floor, shifting his feet, before looking back toward the girl. “Sorry, I didn’t realize it’d get so…hectic.” He chuckled. Yuu looked toward her back, fiddling with the strap of it between her fingers. Cater took notice, lowering his hand from his head, staring at her expectantly. When Yuu finally spoke up, her eyes were still at her fingers. “We can…still take a selfie together…if you want.”

Cater jolted. “A selfie…?”

His chest tightened when she nodded timidly, a soft pink in her cheeks.

-----

Cater sat on the bench at the foot of his bed. His leg was bent with his foot on the bench, and his cheek squished as he rested his face on his knee. He looked idly down at his phone screen, swiping through his camera roll. He selected one of the selfies with Yuu recently, and chose to open it in an editing app. The default recommended filter was to add hearts around their faces.

He turned off the screen, setting his phone screen down on the bench. “I don’t really wanna post any of the selfies…” he mumbled. After a few moments, he vocalized a heavy sigh. Cater raised his other foot to the bench, then used his legs to launch himself backwards to fall into his bed.

“I liked the idea of a French braid on her…”

[imagine-straykids]

Han Jisung: Crushed

short summary: when Jisung has a crush on you, he may not be the best at expressing his feelings

genre: fluff x romance

word counts: 5,350 words

Jisung wasn’t sure when or why he started liking you. Maybe it was the way you’d always awkwardly stumble upon your words; maybe it was the way you’d take jabs at yourself sometimes; maybe it was the way you listened to him as if he was the only person in the world. Well, he wasn’t entirely sure. But all he knew was that you stole his heart and he doesn’t want it back. 

Who would’ve ever thought that Han Jisung, a music prodigy, basically a star student, would ever fall head over heels for someone like you who admittedly only joined a music course because you needed a filler class. 

The first time you guys talked, it was because you needed help identifying some music notes. You were not the best at music--actually not very good at all, but you can sing a little bit, yay? You don’t know why you thought taking this class as an extra would be a good idea. Because it wasn’t. It was much harder than you had expected. Hell, you don’t know what you were thinking, because everybody here was basically legendary at what they do. 

Anyways, well, one day your teacher had you guys do this assignment and you struggled like a bitch. While you were still on the first page losing at least 10 brain cells per question, you had noticed that Jisung, who was seated in front of you had already finished. You were amazed--No. Amazed was an understatement. You were shook even though you knew you shouldn’t be. He was pretty much second to no one in this class.

A few moments later, your teacher’s loud voice echoed through the room.

“Okay class! You have 10 more minutes left! I will be collecting your papers after that.” Your teacher sat down after her announcement.

“10 minutes? Crap! I’m not even through the first page yet...” you cursed quietly under your breath out of natural habits. You weren’t expecting anyone nearby to hear you, and you were actually hoping they didn’t. But your words did not manage to miss Jisung’s ears as you had leaned in a little bit too closely behind him when you mumbled.

You were too busy scribbling down whatever you were scribbling because frankly you weren’t really sure what you were doing. As you lifted your head up trying to take a look at the clock, you were instead met with Jisung’s puppy eyes as he had been examining what you were doing for the last 5 seconds or so. A small gasp escaped your mouth and you blinked out of fright, but not loud enough to catch anyone’s attention. Just loud and visible enough for you to make a fool out of yourself in front of Han Jisung.

“Do you need any help?” He smiled.

Ahhhh oh my gosh, he smiled, you internally screamed inside your head.

“I--uhm--uh--yeah, I kind of do--” you stumbled around your words awkwardly.

This shouldn’t have been as nerve wrecking, but why is it.

“I can help you. What do you need help with?” 

“Oh uhm...  the whole paper to be honest. I’m kind of... new to this kind of class.” 

And that was pretty much your guys first time talking to each other. Ever since then, he would always voluntarily ask if you needed any help, to which you were very much appreciative for. He really did not have to be this nice to you, but he was. Bless his whole ass soul. 

Little by little, working out assignments together turned into small talks between you guys, or rather silly stories told by himself, and you in return would share stories of your siblings to him and just how annoying they are to you daily. He liked to listen to your tales because he didn’t have any younger siblings and his older brother lived in another town.

Your Music class that used to be so intimidating to you because you were so far behind everyone else, the class that used to make you feel talentless and lonely as hell, you now had something to look forward to.

Oddly, Jisung could say the same thing too. Everyday back and forth to him was just go to classes, head to dance practice after school, go home, study, and repeat. But his somehow repetitive lifestyle started looking a little bit more exciting after meeting you. All his other classes were okay, but somehow he was always looking forward to 6th period; his music class. Looking forward to that special someone he could talk to about how his day has went so far.

Sometimes zoning out in his other classes, thinking about all the kind of things to say or tell you whenever he does get to 6th period. It was a foreign feeling that he had never experienced before. Not for anyone else. He’s had crushes in the past, but they were mostly puppy love, or crushes that would last a week at most. But every time he gets closer to you, every time he’s communicating with you, he feel his heart exploding a million times, and all the little things you would do like mumbling things to yourself thinking nobody would hear, the way you would twitch your nose whenever something upsets you a little, pressing the wrong keys when practicing, or just the way you would laugh at the smallest things he said just does a different kind of twist on his heart string. 

Day by day he found himself becoming greedier and greedier, wanting to become something much more with you. But he didn’t know if that was too weird considering you guys don’t interact outside of this class, besides the small gestures you both would exchange sometimes when passing by one another. 

He wasn’t sure if he was moving too fast or not, but it was 4 months ago that he started talking to you. 4 months ago when he talked to you, the one who would make him question so many things about himself.

He don’t know if he should wait it out and see if you’ll say anything, but from how you’re acting, it doesn’t look as if any changes was coming soon. He was growing more impatient every time he gets the chance to talk to you, because to him, you were just... so adorable.

One day after class ended, he finally managed up the courage to ask you if you wanted to go for a drink after school, to which you said yes. He was met with pleasure, but at the same time, terror. Was he really about to do this? No no. He was not ready. But he also does not want to be just friends anymore. He was mentally battling his thoughts the whole time walking there that he even missed out on some things you’ve told him. 

You became aware that Jisung was not being himself and was rather gloomy today all of a sudden.

“Jisung, are you alright?” You asked him worriedly. 

Your voice snapped him back to reality.

“Y-yeah I am fine y/n! Sorry, I was just thinking about how much homework I have today,” he assured you.

Really? A lot of homework? That’s really the best thing you can think of, Jisung criticized himself in his head.

“Oh... I see. Well we should probably go grab a seat so you can let loose some tension.”

Jisung nodded and you guys found a spot in the back corner.

As soon as you guys sat down, Jisung’s face positioned toward his feet as if he’s rethinking life decisions.

This was unusual for him because although you were not with him often, rarely did you ever see him looking so down. He was always jolly every time he entered the classroom. This was a rather new Jisung for you.

“Hey Jisung, you’re a smart person! You will finish all the work alright. And if you need any help, I am always here for you,” you tried to comfort him.

“Huh--O-o yeah. Thank you. Sorry I’m a little bit spaced out,” he said so quietly.

“Jisung, if there’s anything that’s bothering you, you can always tell me. I won’t ever judge, you know that. I just hope you’re okay.”

The more worried you were for him, the more it made him want to throw up from nervousness. Because you’re encouraging him to confess but at the same time, discouraging, because he was just that afraid he might ruin a good relationship with someone like you.

“I’m fine, y/n. You can go ahead and order something. I need to use the restroom real quick.” He stood up and made his way to the men’s restroom. 

He quickly shut himself in and slid down the wall onto his knees as he puffed out breath of airs.

After he had situated in a comfortable position, he took his phone out and called Hyunjin.

“Hyunjin, I-I cannot do it. I can’t. I feel so weak and nervous right now I think I might throw up,” Jisung ranted.

“Tell me about it. That was a such a shit show. Dude, I got second hand embarrassment from it.” 

“W-wait what. How did you know what happened?” 

“Me and Jeongin come to this cafe every day after school. We were seated right across from you guys, but you were too busy being a nervous freak to notice.”

“Oh wow, so Jeongin saw it too. I really just cannot. I don’t think I can go out after this. My hands are sweating. Can you like, make up some kind of excuse for me?” 

“Like what kind of excuse?”

“I don’t know... just tell her I went home because I feel sick.”

“What? Then she’s going to say why didn’t you just tell her.”

“Then just say because I was in a rush,” Jisung grew impatient trying to reason with Hyunjin.

“I guess then. At this pace, you’re never going to get a girlfriend.” 

Jisung was about to say something back but Hyunjin already cut off the line. 

~

When Jisung came in the next day, you asked him if he was alright, and he gave you a short answer but nothing more than that. 

You tried initiating a few more small talks with him but he was really just out of it, you had a feeling you should just leave him to be. He’s probably going through a difficult time right now.

When the bell rung signaling it was time to leave, you bid a small goodbye wave to Jisung before you left but it was only met with an awkward smile from him. 

The next three days continued on pretty much like the scenario above. You would try starting a conversation but it wasn’t much of a conversation if you were the only one talking. Eventually, you stopped trying to talk to him.

You would be lying if you were to say you weren’t upset or concerned. You didn’t know if you had said something that offended him, or if he found out that you secretly have a crush on him and is creep out by it. Either way, both situation weren’t going to end well for you.

The day you guys went to the cafe was the day he started acting indifferent. Maybe he heard that small fart you ripped out along the way or something. But you swore on god that it didn’t smell that bad. Maybe that day he meant to tell you he doesn’t want to be friends or talk to a loser like you anymore, but wasn’t courageous enough to finish what he started, that’s why he sent Hyunjin over to get rid of you.

It honestly sucks because your music teacher has recently assigned you guys with a project and in your head, you and Jisung would’ve had a blast discussing about what you guys were going to do for it. All of the things he or you would’ve said kept playing over and over in your head. But then again, you shouldn’t jump into conclusion.

You’ll just confront him on Monday and see what the real deal is. You just hope it wasn’t anything too serious that he’s brooding about. If you had hurt him in some shape or form, you would like to know and apologize dearly.

~

Jisung felt like an imbecile. An even bigger fool than the one he was before. He couldn’t believe he thought ignoring and avoiding you would suppressed his feelings or prevent you from asking anything relevant.

It probably did, but now the feeling of guilt is just eating him up. Your poor face after rambling and getting no response broke his heart. But he was afraid if he were to say anything less than appropriate, he would lose it.

He just wish you’re doing good for yourself and isn’t taking his actions to heart, because he pretty much acknowledge that he’s being stupid.

When he got to dance practice, he slammed his backpack harshly onto the floor of the studio and sighed.

The frustration of his caught the attention of Seungmin, Hyunjin and Jeongin who got here a little bit early too and was prepping up.

“What’s good bro? You alright?” Seungmin asked as he walked forward to Jisung.

“Yeah. You have been looking pretty sad these past few days. I kind of miss that loud crackhead energy of yours even though you can get carried away with it,” Jeongin sensing the rising atmosphere, tried to lighten it up.

“He probably got rejected by his dream girl,” Hyunjin chimmed in.

“Huh?” Seungmin let out in confusion.

“This one girl in his music class that he has a huge crush on for no reason even though they don’t even interact.”

Hyunjin was of course only teasing Jisung.

“Hey! We do interact! It’s just mostly in class. You’re not even in the class itself so shut up Hwang Hyunjin. At least I can keep my crush on one girl, and not the whole freaking school,” Jisung defended himself.

Jeongin let out a small laughter followed by Seungmin.

“That’s true, Hyung. You really need to stick to one person like seriously.” Jeongin threw his arm onto Hyunjin’s shoulder but Hyunjin slapped it off.

“Whatever.” Hyunjin rolled his eyes.

“And no, I didn’t get rejected... I didn’t even ask her out yet.” Jisung admitted in shame.

“Huh?” Seungmin let out again.

“Then what are you so miserable about?” Jeongin cocked his eyebrow.

“I-I’m scared. What if she says no? What if she doesn’t like me like that. Then it’s just going to be awkward. She’s a really sweet person and I don’t want to ruin our friendship just because I think about her more than a friend,” Jisung’s tone dampen the longer he talked. 

“But what if she also likes you like that? I mean, you don’t know... you haven’t even asked her.” Seungmin tried to encourage Jisung.

Jeongin nodded in agreement while Hyunjin just let out a chuckle.

“Dude, if you don’t ask her out, I will. Seeing her the other day at the cafe, she’s kind of cute.” Hyunjin goes into thought.

Jisung’s eyes fired up at what Hyunjin said.

“Hey! Stay away from her! But to be honest, she wouldn’t like you anyways. Sorry but she wouldn’t go for someone who changes girls everyday like he changes his clothes. Anyways--can you tell Chan for me that I will be missing practice today. Something came up. Bye!”

And with that, Jisung quickly grabbed his backpack and stormed out of the building.

“Wow, I’m hurt.” Hyunjin put his hand on his chest.

~

"Jisung, aren’t you going to eat?”

His door flashed opened with his mom’s head in between the crack.

“Soon! I just need to revise this one more time.” His eyes still not leaving his music sheet.

“Dear, don’t overwork yourself. It’s almost 11. You’ve been working on your song ever since you came home. Please come down to eat and you can continue after.” His mom tried to convince him, not wanting her own son to starve to death.

Jisung finally placed the guitar down at the defeat of his mom’s words.

“Alright mom. See you downstairs.”

~

“Wow Jisung, this is really good. And the lyrics are, wow...” Chan complimented the younger man who came to him for feedbacks on his sample.

“Do you really mean it? I mean... you really think this is good?” Jisung widened his eyes as he searched for an answer in Chan’s own.

“Yeah, of course! Jisung, are you like, okay? Because usually you’re always so confident in your works and rarely do you ever come to me or Changbin for revision.”

“Oh yeah, I’m good. I just need it to be perfect because I’m performing this song for my project on Monday and I need it to be A plus.”

Chan nodded.

“I am 100% sure you are going to ace this.” 

~

Monday had came super fast, and when reality hit that you’ll be performing in front of the class again, it railed up your anxiety very bad.

The last few projects or performances you guys had was mostly just instruments based, as the teacher wanted to see how well the students were progressing on their skills. But now you needed to dance or sing and you weren’t so sure how this was going to end.

You weren’t no song writing goddess or instruments playing master, so you were just going to do a quick simple cover of Red Velvet Psycho. 

As long as you don’t sound like a dying goat, you’ll do just fine.

You were honestly looking forward to Jisung’s performance as well. Because every time he goes up, he always come up with the most creative or mind blowing performances. Jisung didn’t need talents, talents needed Jisung.

Classes passed by like the wind, probably because most of the time you were in your own world. 

The closer it was to your 6th period, the more anxious you were, and you were already very anxious to begin with.

When the time finally came, you walked into the class and sat down at your desk. Jisung still hasn’t arrived yet.

With time to kill, your eyes circled the room and for fun, you tried guessing what some of the students would be doing.

Mhmm, that girl Yoona in the back, you’ve seen a few of her song covers on Youtube, so chances are she’ll be singing.

That guy to the right of you performed in the rally last semester, so you wouldn’t be surprised if he bounced out some steps later on.

Your thoughts were intruded when you heard the door slammed shut, your attention shifted to your teacher who stood tall in front of all of you.

“Good Afternoon class, I hope you’re all doing well, and I hope you all have something prepared today as well,” She smiled.

She then does this thing where she’ll move her eyes from left to right, trying to pick out any students who’s missing.

The desk in front of you, which belongs to Jisung, was still empty.

Jesus, does he really hate you that much that he’ll even risk losing points. You really wanted to make things right today. Or at least try working out whatever is going on between you guys, which you don’t even know what is it.

“Jisung isn’t here yet?” Your teacher asked.

You only shook your head.

“Alright, well then it looks like we’ll have to continue without h--”

Your teacher was interrupted when the door busted opened. Jisung showed up looking like he just woke up, almost out of breath like. You could tell his hair was slightly messier and the shade in his pupils darkened compared to other days. His eye bags were also more prominent.

“--Sorry, I got caught up in things.” Jisung bowed down to your teacher and then to the rest of the class.

“You’re fine. Go take a seat.” She dismissed. 

Jisung bowed again before trailing to his desk. Along the way, you guys unintentionally met eyes, followed by Jisung awkwardly breaking the contact by looking at the wall, then taking a seat.

All you could think about at the moment was what did you do to Jisung that he’s going to this extent to avoid you. Did he read your diary when you went to the restroom, and found out about that one experience you wrote when you and your family went to the water park and your stomach hurted badly so you did a little oopsie near the kids section and they never found out it was you--Oh gosh, you couldn’t imagine.

Whatever it was, Jisung must have his reasons, and you really need to stop jumping to conclusions. Everything will be okay as long as you talk to him today.

“Now that everybody’s here, we should get started, we don’t have a lot of time.” 

Then your teacher started picking out names one after another. You did genuinely enjoyed their performances, but every time someone finished, you just want to crawl into the corner and hide away from the rest of the world, because pray to the lord you don’t get called on.

Everybody was doing so good so far. 

“Please give a big round of applause to Saeron,” your teacher followed after Saeron had finished.

Everyone clapped in awed but it’ll always dimmed whenever your teacher call on the next person.

“Y/n!” She held up the piece of paper in her hand with your name written on it. 

“Huh?” you were taken back at the sound of your name.

“It’s your turn, y/n.” Your teacher sternly looked at you.

“Oh--right, right.” You sluggishly got up and made ways to the front. 

“Uhm, for today I’ll be covering Psycho by Red Velvet. I hope you’ll all like it.” you awkwardly turned to your teacher to give her the go to put on the instrumental.

Your heart was racing so fast. 

It’s okay, you can do it.

You got me feeling like a psycho psycho People keep telling us As we fight like it’s our last but then we get along They don’t get it, it’s so funny

The last piece of lyrics escaped your mouth and you sighed in relief. You bowed to the class after you were finished and was met with applause from all around the room. 

“Good job, y/n. You may now take a seat.” Your teacher smiled.

You walked back to your seat, having felt like you did a decent job, at least by the feedbacks. 

“Next up, Han Jisung.” 

You had completely forgotten about him, and that he was watching your whole performance. Ahhhhh

But on the flip side, you were excited to see what he had prepared. 

The room was filled with silence while waiting for him. He finally grabbed his guitar and went up, gulped, then stared at you for a second, but you weren’t able to read his expression.

He had displayed a more tense body language, his eyes barely meeting anyone’s. The Han Jisung you knew had always been so confident and couldn’t wait for his name to be called, while the one that stood in front of you right now looked like every ounce of his soul had left his body.

Oh man, you don’t know how much more surprises he could pull on you. You just had never seen him like this before. Or is it that you never knew him all along. Your thoughts were cut short when Jisung spoke.

“For today... I’'ll be singing a song that I wrote for uh, a special someone. I-I hope that person will like it.” He threw on a nervous smile and right then, his eyes met yours. An innocent, sweet kind of enchanted look that pulled you right in.

“Oooooooooooooooo,” the students giggled and awed.

Was he talking about me? You thought.

No way. He hates me. But why did he look at me? Oh my gosh, is this song about me? Wait--why is he writing a song about me--wait what?! You continued fighting inside your head but not for long before Jisung began playing his melody.

The calming and relaxing tone of the guitar could almost put you to sleep, of course in a good way. The soft and dreamy tune like this was something only Jisung could pull off.

Then he started singing,

“When I first met you, I honestly didn’t think too much

You were like any other person to me, someone to talk to

but slowly, each day, you’ve showed me that you were someone worth loving, worth taking care of, worth falling in love with

Before I knew it, my heart was yours.”

okay excuse those shitty lyrics, I just made it up

Every words that he said, you could see and felt that he really meant it. He wasn’t just spitting out lyrics for the sake of this project. He was speaking from his heart and mind. As if he was trying to reach out to someone. He wrote those lyrics specifically for a certain someone.

Was it for you? Was it for the girl at the back of you? 

You had no idea, but you were still secretly wishing it was for you.

The whole class’s attention and yours were glued onto him, not missing a bit of his performance. Han Jisung really got everyone whipped.

When he finished up on the last part of the song, the class exploded in applause. It was the loudest group of claps anyone has gotten so far. You were also slapping your hands together like a crazy seal.

He may not be acting like himself and is coming off a bit odd right now, but for sure, the boy’s talents is something that would never change.

The rest of the period concluded with other students showcasing what they had prepared. Not everyone got a chance as class was a bit too short, but your teacher reassured the ones who didn’t get to go up today, will be called up tomorrow. Sucks to be them.

You were knocked out for a second before remembering that you were going to ask Jisung today, whether he wants to answer or not. Jisung was still fixated on his backpack, digging and shoving through it, so you waited unsuspiciously.

He stopped the ruckus when he pulled out a piece of white paper with some words on it. You can’t read it but you can only make out the squiggly black lines. It seems that was exactly what he was looking for, so after that, he threw his backpack on. 

Panicked, afraid he might leave before you can catch him, you stepped out of your seat to confront him, only for him to turn around, causing you guys to face each other instead.

“I need you talk to you,” You both said at the same time.

“What?” Both of you guys tilted your head in sync again.

“You first,” you gave him the go.

“No, you first,” He declined.

“Fine--I just--wait.” You inspected the surroundings. You guys were still in class and this was not a good setting because anyone can just walk in any moment.

“I think it’s better if we talk somewhere else.” you continued.

You guys stopped at the school garden, and when you made sure that absolutely no one was around, you proceeded.

“I just want to know what’s been going on lately. You’ve been ignoring and avoiding me. Did I do something wrong that had upset you? I would like to know, Jisung. Just completely ghosting me like this hurts.”

You promised yourself you weren’t going to get emotional about this. 

“I know I’m a jerk, Y/n. I know. And I’m sorry about that. I just, I just... don’t know how to express my feelings to you, y/n. I’m confused, I’m lost, I’m scared, I don’t know... but I’m also in love...” He said the last part quietly, but you could still hear it.

“In love? With someone else? Is that why you’ve been avoiding me?”

“No no.” Jisung shook his head, getting more frustrated by the moment.

“And that song you sung in class, was--was that for someone?” you timidly asked. You have a theory it might be for you, but you do not want to say it, afraid you’re going to come out looking like a fool if he meant it for someone else.

“Yeah it was...” 

“Jisung, if you have feelings for someone, you don’t have to hide it from me, I’m fine with it. If you like them, go for it. I’m sorry if I made you uncomfortable, like you couldn’t be open about your relationships or feelings.” 

“No no, y/n. You don’t get it,” Jisung exhaled.

“What do you mean? What am I not getting?”

“I didn’t write that song for someone else, or anyone else. I wrote it for you. You, y/n. I wrote those lyrics for you.”

You could hear the disappointment in his tone and his head hanging in defeat.

“Oh...” was all you could say. Not because you didn’t like him. No. You like him. A lot. Oh was the only thing you could let out because reality was getting a little hard to accept, knowing Han Jisung likes you, and wrote a song for you.

“I know. I’m sorry. It’s okay if you do not feel the same way. I really only wrote it because I didn’t know any other way to let my feelings out, and music was what I’m best at. I did felt a little better after writing the lyrics, and after performing, knowing you were listening to it. Here, take this.” 

He stretched his arm out to hand you something. It was the piece of paper he was holding earlier. It had the lyrics he had written for you on it.

“It’s okay to not feel the same way. But I hope you accept this. I might feel a little bit better if you do.” 

You extended your arm to take the white sheet of paper, still speechless. 

“I’ll get going now. I’ll see you tomorrow.” He gave you a small smile combined with a bow and almost walked away from your sight.

“Wait Jisung!” You stopped him in his track.

“I--I, I feel the same way too, Jisung. I like you too. And I have for a while now.”

Jisung could’ve swore he heard that wrong, but he almost dropped his backpack at what you said.

He switched back to you, his face was planted with the biggest smile you’ve ever seen from anyone.

“R-really? Y-you like me too?” He asked again for confirmation.

You nodded. 

The next moment happened so fast, and before you can process anything, you were already in Jisung’s warmth. Your chin on his shoulder and his arms wrapping around you.

“I’m so happy! Really happy, Y/n! You don’t know how happy I am!” 

uwu He was too adorable.

With your hands on his chest, you pushed a little bit to create a distance.

“Wait, then why were you avoiding me?” you frowned as you gazed at his face for answers.

“Because I don’t know. I was scared you wouldn’t like me back. I didn’t want to hurt my friendship with you. That day at the cafe I was planning on confessing but I got so nervous, I dipped. I’m sorry, Y/n. I’m a coward. But I promise from this day on, I will tell you everything. I won’t ever do it again. I-I really like you. Give me a chance.” 

He pouted and trapped you in his hug.

“Alright alright. I forgive you.”

He finally lets go of you, but his idiocy smile still not leaving his face. 

“What?”

“I don’t know. You’re just cute.”

“Pfft.”

You cheeks grew red from his remarks. Oh god, this feels so weird.

“Come on, let’s go.” He suddenly grabbed your hand, perfectly aligning it with his.

“Go where?”

“To introduce my new girlfriend to my friends.” 

He ran at full speed, dragging you as you were struggling to catch up.

The End :)

[maxmiz]

Okay, If Max were to propose Mariam on her 23rd birthday, what would it be like? Please write something on this, I am eagerly waiting to see this content written by you.

Firstly, thank you much for the ask @velox-the-knight. I thought I’d do one better and write a short one shot fanfic on this. But I’ve tweaked the facts a little. I’ve made it so that they’re both 28 (23 feels a bit too early for someone like Max to marry idk?) and I’ve not made it on her birthday. But I’ll hope you’ll like this!

Also tagging @stroblitzfalborg, @bakutenmayhem @araingirl @midnightstarr8 @gingericywolf @luxahheart @dangpanterita @turquoisewisteria @tshjortile @hiwataris-bitch and anyone else who would like some Max/Mariam content. Feedback is appreciated from anyone who likes Max/Mariam in the fandom! (This is a hurriedly written short fic, so it may not be great lol)

FAIRYTALE

The path to the dojo was covered in chrysanthemums and a young, blithe man strolled down the road, inhaling the fresh scent of spring into his lungs in the hopes that it would inspire him to finally pop the big question. The golden strands of his hair mirrored the bright beams of the radiant sun above, and twenty-eight-year-old Max Mizuhara strode into his best friend’s house with every ounce of his courage tucked away in a little black box in his pocket. Today was the day that he would ask her to marry him.

The familiar, idyllic setting of Takao’s house greeted him at the entrance and comforted him as he tried to pull himself together and calm his nerves. The oddly mature words of wisdom of his precocious younger sister, Charlotte, surfaced in his mind – if you know she’s the one, then she is. If she’s not, you can move on to other things. Like buying me a Playstation.

His eyes scanned the dojo. He half hoped that Daichi would not spring out of some corner with a bowl of soup in his hand and ruin the bouquet of wild flowers that Max was carrying, by tripping and falling over some rock as usual. Max’s mother, Judy, had not appreciated Daichi’s clumsiness when he had all but destroyed her immaculate designer pantsuit by spilling a drink on it by accident.

I can’t believe that I brought flowers, he thought to himself amused. Max had never really been the flowers-and-chocolates type of boyfriend. Romantic gifts were more of Rei and Takao’s domain. Mariam and Max had always had a jovial, easy-going relationship. They did many things together – from trekking to mountaintops and sleeping under the stars together, to skydiving and dancing at carnivals to which Raul and Julia often invited them. But romantic cliches had never been something that either of them was particularly fond of.

Growing up with parents who rarely lived in the same city, Max had never had the occasion to watch any romance blossom between them. Family dinners were often a cold affair, with his mother being an emotionally distant workaholic and his father being in blissful denial about the crumbling state of their marriage. Even as things had improved between his parents after he had won his first world championship, Max’s faith in romance and marriage had forever been marred by the shadow of his childhood in a dead home.

Yet, here he was, ready to ask the love of his life to marry him, with flowers no less. The irony was not lost upon him.

Oddly, it was his two friends Kai and Hiromi who had suggested that he take flowers with him as he proposed to her. Max could swear he almost choked on his drink as he heard those words leave Kai’s mouth. It made him wonder if, in private, Kai had actually ever given his nature-loving boyfriend Brooklyn any flowers. The thought of a romantic Kai seemed almost as inconceivable to him as the thought of Yuri and Takao’s errant brother Hitoshi hooking up. But stranger things had happened in their world – Balkov becoming a reality show star, for one. He certainly gave the Kardashians some stiff competition in the vanity department. Yuri almost retched at seeing Balkov’s vainglorious Instagram account.

Chuckling, Max looked down at his bouquet as the memory of his last conversation with his friends popped up in his mind.

“You listen to me Maximilian Mizuhara…”

“Actually, it’s just Max,” said Max, cutting her short, meekly.

“Did I say that you could interrupt me?” growled Hiromi, rolling her eyes. “Now, as I was saying…you have to get her flowers! You can’t propose without flowers to a woman who has been raised in the mountains in the lap of nature. Back me up, Hiwatari!”

Kai put down his drink on the table and shrugged. “You heard the woman.”

“You can’t be serious,” said Max, surprised. “And what if she does not like flowers?”

“Then you can take off your clothes and hope that she forgets about the flowers when she sees you in your magnificent birthday suit,” said a drunk Takao, laughing at his own joke without a care in the world.

“Takao!” said Hiromi, smacking him lightly on his head.

“Ow, what was that for?” said Takao, crossly.

“Your jokes are getting worse every day. Soon you’ll give Ivan a run for his money and that is not a compliment. Ask Yuri and Boris. They had to make a jar specifically for him in which he has to drop a penny every time he makes a terrible joke. There was enough money in it by the end of the year for Yuri to buy Julia a gift pack from Victoria’s Secret and have money left over for Boris and Sergei to go drinking expensive wine at Ralf’s vineyard. Do you want me to make such a jar for you too?” said Hiromi, narrowing her eyes.

“If it helps get you your favorites from Victoria’s Secret, why not,” said Takao, playfully.

Hiromi blushed and pretended to text on her phone.

“Okayyyy, get a room you two,” said Rei, laughing.

“Alright, guys, can we deal with my problem before Mr. World Champion here starts his drunken monologue? Is it yay or nay on the flowers? Won’t it be too cliched for Mariam to appreciate?” said Max, frowning.

“Make it so that it isn’t,” said Kai, in a deep voice.

 Make it so that it isn’t. I hope I’m doing this right.

Max walked further into the dojo to see Mariam sitting on the porch, with her long blue strands of hair casually tied up on top of her head in a bun. She was dressed in a white shirt and red skirt, while a tattoo of Sharkrash on her smooth, porcelain skin glimmered under the light of the sun. Max gasped as he watched his beautiful girlfriend concentrate on the book that she was reading, one that Max instantly recognized as his favorite, personal copy of Bitches Gotta Beyblade. Ming Ming had written quite the tantalizing but wonderful biography of her life as a beyblading and singing sensation – and though Max had initially found her annoying during her BEGA days, he had come to admire her over the years. Juggling school and Beyblade while winning Grammys every year was no mean feat.

As Max stepped into the garden by the little pond, Mariam lifted her face from her book and looked at him with a smile on her face.

“Maxie. What’s up? Why are we meeting at the dojo when neither Takao nor grandpa are here? Feels a little weird,” said Mariam, suspiciously.

“Weird? Why is that? We’re always hanging out at the dojo on weekends,” said Max, hiding the bouquet behind his back.

“You know…like we’re trespassing or something while he’s not around,” said Mariam.

“Trespassing? Did your conscience prick you like this when you were stalking me day and night to seal my bit-beast?” teased Max.

“For the last time Max, I wasn’t stalking. I was just gathering intel,” said Mariam, feigning annoyance.

“Alright, Mata Hari, pipe down,” quipped Max. “Ozuma can’t hear you, you know. We both know that you couldn’t get enough of me.”

“Oh yeah, and who was the one putting on all the moves in a collapsing building? Seriously Max, who flirts when they’re almost about to get crushed by a building?” said Mariam, playfully.

“Guilty as charged, m’lady,” said Max, laughing.

Mariam uncrossed her legs and leaned against a wooden pillar casually. “What have you got behind you?”

A romantic cliché, that’s what.

“Hmm, let’s see,” said Max, pulling out the bouquet and presenting it to her.

“Flowers…” said Mariam, surprised.

“Not just any flowers,” said Max, handing her the bouquet.

Mariam looked more closely at the bouquet and Max could see her face lighting up.

“Orchids…from my village in the mountains…” said Mariam, looking touched.

Max knew that Mariam missed her village frequently. Even though she quite liked her life as a marine biologist, free from the shackles of her tribe’s strict and conservative rules, Max often found her wistfully longing for the mountains that she called her home. He knew that if flowers were the way to go, he would personally write to Yusuf and request him to send them to Japan, where he and Mariam were living temporarily after taking a sabbatical from their jobs in California.

“What…what’s the occasion?” said Mariam.

Oh boy, here goes.

“Well…I don’t know how to do this…” mumbled Max, as he slipped his hand into his pocket.

Mariam watched him curiously as he pulled out a little black box.

“Oh…my…” said Mariam, intuitively, the minute that she laid her eyes on the box. “Are you asking me to…”

Max stared at Mariam, unsure about how to proceed with it. He stood quietly staring at her for a solid two minutes until Mariam said, “Uh…Max?”

Kneel, you moron. You can gawk at her later, thought Max as he mentally slapped himself, before going down on one knee.

“Mariam…I never thought that there’d come a day that I’d find myself asking you…or anyone, to marry me. I have never believed in fairytale endings or happily ever-afters. And I don’t believe that being with you is my fairytale ending, because nobody knows what the future holds. But you certainly are the beginning of my fairytale. Now I wish I had Rei’s eloquence to be able to come up with a romantic poem on the spot, but that’s not me. I’m all smiles and jokes and mustard on noodles and we have had always had an unconventional relationship. So, in the spirit of that…” said Max, opening the box, mid-sentence.

Okay, here goes nothing.

Much to Mariam’s surprise, Max pulled out a red, silken bandana from the box and tied it around her forehead.

“I could have got a ring…and I will after this, but I don’t do cliches. Now, I’m 14 years late, but here’s a long overdue replacement for the bandana you tied around my arm when I injured myself protecting you in that collapsing building. I’m tying this around your forehead as a promise to protect you for as long as I can, no matter how many buildings collapse on us and no matter what hurts me in the process. So…will you…marry me?” said Max.

Mariam gasped. She looked like someone had punched her in the gut.

“You know, Takao’s garden has just been hosed an hour ago. My jeans are getting soaked in the mud. Could you answer faster?” said Max, sheepishly.

“Well…yes, you idiot!” said Mariam, throwing her arms around Max and hugging him tenderly.

Kissing her softly on the cheek, Max pulled away and looked into her gorgeous green eyes. He had spent many a night looking into them, but this was the first time that he had seen a touch of vulnerability in them. If anything, her eyes looked even more beautiful now.

“Oh, that was so fucking cute, I’m going to faint!”

“Hell yeah, go Maxie!”

“Max, you dawg…”

Shocked, Max and Mariam looked to the left to see their friends peering at them from behind the dojo and giggling amongst themselves. Kai and Brooklyn did not seem to partake in their laughter, but smiled approvingly at him and Mariam.

“How long have you guys been there?” said Max, going red in the face.

“Long enough, buddy,” said Takao, bellowing with laughter.

“You promised you’d be out,” said Max, embarrassedly.

“And miss this? Never!” said Hiromi, slyly.

“Oh yeah, Kyouju even taped it,” said Rei, giving their bespectacled friend a nudge.

“It’s time for some celebration!” said Hiromi.

“Drinks in the garden?” said Takao.

“On it,” volunteered Brooklyn. Kai joined him to go into the house and fetch the celebratory champagne.

Max looked at his friends and then at Mariam, and smiled. He had finally found a sense of contentment that had eluded him for most of his life.

The beginning of a fairytale indeed.

[winryofresembool]

Things We Lost in the Fire, ch 27

aka Caleo uni au

Fic summary: Calypso starts studying at a new university, but to her annoyance her new flatmate is a loud mouthed mechanic who also likes to sneak his dog in whenever. But as she learns to know him better, she realizes they might have more in common than what she first thought. Eventually, even the darkest secrets come out…

Chapter summary: The exam season is underway (yet somehow I don’t mention the exams all too many times...)

A/N: Yay, I'm back with this fic!! I think I can promise a bit more regular updates at least in the near future, but I will be starting to work longer hours possibly starting from next week so I will have a bit less free time then. I am still determined to keep up with my 500ish words per day goal so it should cause too much delay!

That's that, I hope you guys are as happy to return to this universe as I am! As usual, please let me know what you think :) This fic is about to take my longest fic position from Love Can Melt the Ice, so knowing that there are people who care about it really means a lot to me!

Words: 2393

Genre: romance & hurt/comfort

Warnings: none

previous chapter / AO3

Leo would have been lying if he had claimed that everything went back to completely normal after the talk with Calypso. Sure, they both really tried harder to act as neutral and friendly as possible around each other; whenever they were at home at the same time, they chatted casually about how things were going at work and at the university, their latest TV show or music discoveries, or some silly thing one of their friends had said or done recently. Sometimes they even watched something together or cleaned the common area together. However, the earlier confessions were never mentioned. On the surface things were ‘just fine’, but the unspoken words and lingering looks spoke for itself. Leo knew things were still heating up under the surface and sooner or later they would have to make some difficult decisions. But until then, he wasn’t going to risk anything by disrespecting the guidelines that they had set during their ‘big talk’, even if it was hard to resist sometimes.

One evening Leo found Calypso studying for her upcoming exams on the common area couch. She was wearing a pink, tunic length sweater that matched her lip color, and black leggings that hugged her legs tightly (not that he’d ever tell her that he had noticed such things). She had also pulled her now medium length hair into a messy ponytail so it wouldn’t bother her while she was reading, showing her nicely shaped facial features better. Despite noticing all that, Leo’s thoughts soon went to the facts that he had recently learned about his flatmate. Now he knew more about the hardships she had gone through; a dead sister, an abusive, controlling father, being alone all those years and the nightmares she had mentioned while drunk. Yet, somehow there she was, having escaped her father’s grip and looking perfectly content doing something as boring and normal as studying for exams. The girl was way stronger than he had earlier given her credit for, and Leo admired her capability to stay so calm; he wasn’t so sure the ghosts of his own past would leave him alone that easily.

“Hi,” he finally said before Calypso noticed that he’d been standing there just watching her far too long despite the rules they had set. “What are you reading?”

Calypso showed him the book. If she was surprised to see him, she hid it well. “A collage of Frenchmen’s experiences at the front lines during World War II. I know. A very cheerful way to finish the day.” She grimaced.

“Huh? I thought you were mostly focusing on older history? I didn’t know you study that stuff too,” Leo noted, shifting from one foot to another.

“Well, they do require us to have a good enough understanding of the newer events as well,” Calypso replied, now looking at him directly. For some reason that one look managed to make chills go down Leo’s spine. “It is true, though, that I am more interested in ancient history. There’s so much we still don’t know about those times and I want to be able to discover more.”

“I see,” Leo said. “I think I understand what you mean. I am constantly hoping to discover new ways to create things that will be useful for all of us. Flying dragons that use energy drinks as their energy source? How epic would that be?” Excitement surged through him when he simply thought about it.

“Isn’t that a bit out there?” Calypso asked, but Leo didn’t miss the amused glint in her eyes. “And what if everyone had flying dragons and that would cause horrible air accidents? I don’t know about you but to me they don’t sound very safe.”

“Sunshine, what’s life without some danger?” Leo questioned.

“Hmm, let me think: safe?” Calypso retorted.

“Ouch. Well, I don’t think I have time to invent flying dragons any time soon, so you don’t have to worry about that,” Leo reassured her, but now that the idea had been planted into his head, he decided to return to it some day in the future. Hopefully when he would be able to handle fire.

“That’s a relief,” Calypso replied. “Speaking of your inventions… have you decided what you’re going to do about your studies? The last time I asked you said you haven’t been in contact with your professor yet.”

That was a question Leo had been dreading for. He preferred to not talk about that topic unless he had to, but the truth was that he was still quite unsure about being able to continue. However, he hadn’t made any final decisions yet.

“I’ll… I’ll keep working to overcome my fear,” he responded vaguely. “I think I’ve made some small progress during our sessions. If I can keep that going, I may be able to retake the test next year. Small steps, you know.” In reality, so far he had managed to stay close to a small, burning candle for a short period of time without freaking out, but he still didn’t want to try the matches whenever Calypso suggested it. There was still a long way to go before he’d be able to use all the machines he needed during lab classes and at work.

“Okay,” Calypso said, but to Leo she sounded a bit unconvinced. Her voice got more reassuring, though, when she added: “You know that you can ask for my help any time you need it.”

“Yeah, thanks.” Leo nodded. “And same right back at you. I mean, you can ask me. If you need anything.” For some annoying reason he managed to only get stuttering out of his mouth at that moment. “Even if you simply want me to make you a miniature dragon in the middle of the night. It’s fine. I’d totally make it.”

“And why would I want you to make me a miniature dragon in the middle of the night?” Calypso looked at him questioningly. Before Leo managed to answer, her face softened into a smile and she added: “I really appreciate the thought, though. It feels so different… in a good way… to have people in my life who genuinely support me. I haven’t had that, well, since I got separated from my mom.”

She sat a bit straighter on the couch, her gaze going back and front between Leo and her book, and Leo wondered if she was debating if she should reach for him and touch his shoulder or something. Maybe even hug. One side of him wished she would just go for it. But that would have violated their newly made rules and neither wanted to make things even more complicated than they already were. They simply kept staring at each other for a while, as if trying to read each other’s thoughts, but finally Calypso sighed and turned her focus back on her book, closing it.

“I didn’t realize it’s already this late…” She said, adjusting her hair a bit with the hand that wasn’t holding the book. “I still need to finish an assignment for tomorrow.”

She stood up and started walking towards her room, but when she got past Leo, her arm briefly touched his. Leo’s arm was still tingling after Calypso closed the door behind her.

…

A few days later, Leo was still thinking of that incident when he almost fell over a big rock that was standing on his road. He and Jason were currently having a well deserved evening off after finishing their last exams of the semester earlier that day (Leo felt like he had at least succeeded with the calculations but his essay writing was a bit sloppy) and in honor of that they had decided to go for a long jog and after that have a big, unhealthy meal in one of their favorite pizza places. While they were on their way there, Jason had been explaining something about his holiday plans when Leo had zoned out, and Jason had to grab his arm so he didn’t fall.

“Hey, man, you OK?” Jason asked, frowning. “What just happened there?”

“Yeah, yeah. I’m OK.” Leo brushed some dust off the sleeves of his coat. “I was just… thinking. And didn’t notice the rock on the road.”

“Hmmm, what got you that thoughtful?” Jason inquired. “I bet you didn’t even hear what I just said.”

“You know I have a pretty nasty case of ADHD, sometimes I just zone out randomly,” Leo said defensively, not wanting to admit aloud that recently he had been even more distracted than usual because of a certain flatmate of his. “And no, I didn’t hear you.”

“Alright,” Jason shrugged. “I was telling you that Piper’s dad has invited us to visit him over the break. I’m not sure yet if we are going, though. Piper didn’t seem very enthusiastic about it. Sure, she wants to see him, but she suspects he’s still working most of the time so it would be the same to just call instead of traveling all the way to LA.”

“Mmmh,” Leo mumbled, trying hard to stay in the present moment. “I’m going to be at Waystation during the break so if you guys decide to stay, we can still hang out.”

“Okay, I’ll let you know what we decide to do. That wasn’t all, though…” Jason continued, his face becoming concerned. “I think Piper has seemed quite distant lately, and not just when we’ve been talking about that trip. Sometimes I worry that she’s gotten bored of me, or something.”

“No way, man!” Leo exclaimed. “I’ve seen you guys together often enough to know that she loves you. Maybe she’s just going through a rough phase or something.”

Jason didn’t seem quite convinced. “I guess so. It’s just that usually she tells me directly what’s bothering her. This… keeping things inside her isn’t like her.”

“Maybe you just need to give her some time,” Leo suggested. “It’s like me with Cal; I’ve learned to keep my mouth shut more often and in exchange she has slowly started opening up to me more recently.”

“She has? That’s great!” Jason cheered up. “How is it going with you two anyway? I heard some things about the Halloween party aftermath…”

“Nothing happened after the party!” Leo yelped, raising his hands. “Whatever Piper has told you, all lies.”

“Really? So you two wouldn’t have kissed if Piper hadn’t interrupted you guys?” Jason raised his eyebrow.

If Leo’s cheeks hadn’t already been red from the jogging, he certainly would have blushed. “Um… well… the point is that we didn’t. Besides, we’ve set some rules that we’re supposed to follow because we don’t wanna make our co living too complicated.”

“So there is something going on between you two and you are acknowledging it,” Jason teased. “You wouldn’t need to set any rules otherwise.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Leo muttered. “If you must know, we did admit that we like each other after the party.”

“But that’s great!” Jason exclaimed.

“It feels pretty crazy,” Leo replied. “Sometimes I wonder why she likes me, but maybe the Bad Boy Supreme’s magic is stronger than I thought.”

Jason snorted at his comment. “I don’t know Calypso as well as you do but I doubt it’s the so-called Bad Boy Supreme side that she cares about. You pretend to be all cool and try to seem like you don’t care about what’s happening around you but I think you do that only because you care too much. Maybe Calypso has noticed that as well.”

“Dude, you’ve been hanging out with Piper too much.” Leo shook his head. “That’s something she would say. ” “Well, she’s not wrong. Anyway, what happened after the big confession?”Jason asked curiously.

“We’re not together if that’s what you’re asking, ” Leo denied immediately. “I just mentioned the rules, remember? We wouldn’t need them if we had decided to go down that road.” “Ouch… but why? Why didn’t you just decide to do it?” Jason wanted to know.

“For some stupid, noble reasons,” Leo grunted. “I’m not gonna go into the details because it’s up to her to talk about it, but long story short, she thinks it’s safer that way. I think she’s afraid of hurting one of us.”

“And do you think she’s right?” Jason inquired.

“I… No! I’ve told her I can handle it. But I’m not gonna push it - believe me, Jo and Emmie have given me long lectures about respecting women’s boundaries. If Cal and I wanna keep living together, I have to let it be.”

“Yeah, I can see your point.” Jason nodded.

“Besides…” Leo added after a moment, his face falling as he thought about his past. “Bad things tend to follow me. Who is to say that I wouldn’t be the one getting her into trouble?”

“Why do you think that?”

“Because when have I ever been successful with anything I’ve done?” Leo asked in return.

Jason seemed to finally understand what event Leo was really referring to. “You’re still beating yourself for things that happened years ago?”

“Why do you think I’m not capable of going to some of the lab classes? Because I simply think that skipping is fun and I don’t care whether I pass it or not?” There had been a time when Leo hadn’t cared about his school success, but back in those days he hadn’t cared about much else either. Now that he had dreams and things to live for, he hated the idea that anyone would think he’d throw it all away just because he could. His new family deserved better than that for what they had done for him.

“No, no, I was not thinking that! You just never talk about it so I assumed… whatever.” Jason didn’t want to make Leo even angrier so he decided it was better to change the topic. “Maybe we should talk about something else. I still hope that you and Cal will work it out eventually.”

“Yeah. I hope so too. Same for you and Piper.” The friends had gotten close to their destination, so Leo exclaimed quickly: “Hey, I’m smelling the pizza now! Whoever is last at the door pays!”

“That’s a bad deal because you know I’m faster than you. I train every day!” Jason pointed out but soon sprinted after him.