#also my friend commented when i sent them a wip of this that they loved how leo Suspected cheating but didn't Cheat Back in retaliation lmao

[its-time-to-write]

hiya there love

i was wondering, if i could request a lovely jamie tartt fic from you? it would basically revolve around r being increadibly stressed and overworked and, of ypu are comfortable, r gets a panic attack (maybe she works at the dogtrack and then people are confused about what is happening) and then jamie swoops in and saves the day

absolutely love your writing and stories and senig lots of love and creativity your way <3 <3 <3

guys I have like five WIPS and usually I have zero, but here we are. Most of them only need their closing paragraph but I have been BUSY and also very tired. thank you @dark-academia-slut for this request and your recent comments on my posts🩵🩵

for you, there’ll be no more crying

There’s too much to do and only one you, and yet everything needs to be done today and no one seems to realize that they’re assigning you more work on top of what other people have already given you. You didn’t realize everything was so pressing, but here you are with a to do list as long as your arm filled with tasks to be completed ASAP. 

You think that taking a break for lunch is a bad idea, honestly you’d rather sit at your desk and check some more things off your list, but HR insists that you have a thirty-minute break. It’s also shitty because your boyfriend works here too, but you’re not sitting with him today because by the time he got to the cafe, the only available space was all the way across the room. So here you are, tapping your foot as you force down a salad. 

Chewing feels mechanical, each bite heavy in your mouth. You choke down a piece as your index finger taps on your thumb, counting down the minutes until you can rush back to your office. You can feel Helen from HR keeping an eye on you, and you don’t need to add a visit from her to you list. 

“Oi, can you compile that list I emailed you about last week?” Stephanie from the front desk asks from across the table. 

You give her a confused look. “What list?”

She returns your look. “The one I sent last Tuesday?”

You shake your head and say, “I never got that email.”

Stephanie frowns and pulls out her phone. “Oh, whoops, it’s in my drafts still.” She presses a button and says, “There, it’s sent!” with a cheerful grin, like that changes anything. 

Your whole leg is shaking now, not just your foot. “When do you need it?” you ask carefully, willing her to say literally an other day but today. 

“Oh, I need it by the end of the day,” she replies so you nod, all slow and mechanical. 

You ask, “Can I get it to you tomorrow?” and she shakes her head. 

“No, I really needed it done by today. You should have checked with me when you didn’t get my email on Tuesday.”

You don’t point out that it’s impossible to ask about an email you didn’t even know existed, mainly because Stephanie is best friends with Helen and you literally cannot deal with both of them today. 

So instead you nod, fake a smile, and take another bite of salad as Stephanie gets up to leave. 

The moment she’s gone, everything goes slow. And not in a good way. 

You think, oh shit as the food in your mouth becomes tasteless and your gaze becomes fixated on a spot on the table. 

Oh shit. Shit, shit, shit. 

Liam notices and asks, “Are you alright?” in his too-loud voice, so now everyone in the cafe is looking at you as you take stuttered breaths around the salad in your mouth. 

You’re confident that this couldn’t get any worse, but you can’t even answer Liam so he shakes your arm, causing you to jolt. 

You press one hand to your heart as you try to catch a breath with all eyes still on you. 

A hand presses a napkin to your mouth and says, “Spit,” but you don’t look up to see who it is. You’re stuck on that one spot on the table, unable to move anything except your leg. But you don’t need to look up to know who it is. 

“Fuck off, Liam,” says Jamie and Liam does. 

You’re told later that Jamie flips off anyone who’s still staring, but you miss it in the moment because it’s over your head. 

“You alright, babe?” he asks gently, but you don’t respond. He slides into the seat Liam has vacated and grabs your hand. “Oi, look at me.”

His hands are warm in contrast to your cold ones, and the uses his one free hand to tilt your face toward his. You’re having a hard time making eye contact so he bends his head just enough so he’s in your line of sight. 

“There you are,” he smiles, “You want to tell me what’s wrong or do you want me to guess?”

You just look, chest rising and falling way too fast. 

“Right,” he says. “Let’s get your breathing under control. Breathe with me, yeah?”

You see the staff and team at Nelson Road filtering out of the cafe, so you focus on Jamie’s face and follow his breaths. 

“Okay, keep going like that. What else can we talk about? Oi, did you hear what fucking Roy did this morning? The lad’s fucking insane, he is. Strings around dicks? Can’t believe I almost lost mine, and on date night no less.” He winks. “You’d‘ve had his head for sure, love.”

You crack a smile at that. 

“Ey!” he says, “She lives!”

“I love you,” you tell him and he squeezes your hand. 

“She fuckin’ talks, too. What a woman.”

You think of a few snide replies, but you’re not too sold on talking just yet so you settle for silence. 

“Was it fucking Helen?” Jamie asks, “Bird’s more insane than Coach.”

You wiggle your head. Technically, it wasn’t just Helen, but she’s the one who’s been handing you the most assignments while also insisting on the stupidest breaks. 

“Bet it were Stephanie too,” he continues. “Babe, you’ve gotta fucking talk to Higgins or Ms. Welton or some shit. They’re using you like some personal servant and it ain’t right.”

You shrug and Jamie squeezes your hand again. “None of that,” he says. 

He’s not wrong. 

It’s just you two, alone, so he allows himself a moment to cup your face in one hand. “You’re good, yeah?” he asks. 

You take a deep breath and nod. “Yeah, I’m good.”

He grins and leans forward to kiss your forehead. 

“D’you want to ditch the rest of the day?” he asks and you give him a Look. 

You say, “I can’t ditch. I have too much to do and you can’t ditch because you have training.”

Jamie’s still grinning as he says, “Bet I could get out of it ‘cause of me injury and you could get out of it if you talked to Ms. Welton.”

“Absolutely not,” you reply, but he’s already standing up.

“Gonna talk to her about fucking Helen,” he says. “I’d bet my entire house that none of your shit is that big of an emergency.”

“No you won’t,” you call after him, “And anyway, she wouldn’t listen to you about any of it.”

Jamie’s basically already gone so he just shouts, “Ta,” as you sigh and get up to go back to your office. 

An hour later, you’re in the car with Jamie as he laments your lack of faith in him. “Told you Helen’s full of shit,” he says. “You’re going to be way better at her job than she ever was.”

“The fuck, Jamie,” you reply. “I still can’t believe you made me talk to Rebecca.”

He shrugs, one hand on the wheel. “I’m a dead good boyfriend, is what I am.”

You laugh. He certainly is that. 

[oflights]

I just found Glory today and I love it so so much I’m obsessed!!!! I’ve always found that the authors I love the most also have excellent taste so do you have any bloodweave recs for me to devour while I pine away for a new chapter?

hi! ahh i'm so happy to hear this! thank you so much, i'm incredibly pleased you're enjoying Glory. 💕

recs!!! i definitely have recs *cracks knuckles*

disclaimer: a lot of these are bookmarked from when i was still shy and just reading and getting into this pairing on my own and very New (though i am still very New, to be fair) and basically i need to get better about commenting lol. but i rec these wholeheartedly! and also obviously these are just my opinions, i am still reading lots but haven't read everything.

these are all complete; i might do a separate post with wips i'm following if there's any interest!

in absolutely no order, and below the read more for length:

The Fourth Ring by Vamillepudding; this is the first fic i immediately sent to all of my friends and forced them to read because i loved it so much. inspirational, hilarious, beautiful. no tadpoles AU, my beloved

We're Here and It's Now by houseofthestars; one of my favorite bloodweave authors, i recommend basically all of houseofthestars' fics but this one is a fave. mind the tags/kinks but ahhhh. this is also my absolute favorite descriptions of a beautiful post-game underdark life for them, it's so perfect. one of my favorite gale voices, too, he is everything to me

Might Just Make It by lavvyan; another favorite author of mine!! this is an absolutely adorable and heart-wrenching little AU that was one of my major "oh" moments for these two. love it

Corner of Sail Street and Sea Lion by lavvyan; again, lavvyan, truly a fave!! this is such a fun, frantic post-game fic where astarion races to waterdeep to rescue gale from a calamity. i simply love when astarion is forced to confront the fact that he cares UGH like he's kicking and screaming and stamping his feet about it but he cares, damn it! it's so good

Weakness Coming On by bloodweaving; one of my fave in-game fics; it's just so incredibly plausible and hilarious. astarion absolutely tortures gale in this because he just cannot deal with how much he likes him and that is just. yes exactly perfect, no notes

you might love me to death by tuffgreg; this in-game dynamic is incredible and complex and delicious. amazing use of the act 2 backdrop, aka my favorite act.

Dysfunction by nematode; god i could read 100k more words of this version of them! the exploration of these sex dynamics is sooo good. they are just perfect here, i adore this fic.

embracing the sun by vannral; reccing all of vannral's bw fics but this one has my heart. it's gorgeous and funny and so sweet. also shadowheart is my secret second fave companion and the use of her in vannral's fics is always wonderful.

if my heart stops beating, we'll bleed the same way by AgentBuzzkill; angsty hurt gale is an obvious fave of mine but the astarion in this fic is who really kills me; i have so many feelings about him immediately post-cazador and the weight of what he has to deal with, and this makes it so much heavier

Bliss and Ignorance by ultranerdyandiknowit; i'm still drafting a comment for this fic because i love it so much. heed the warnings and tags but please give this one a read. it's gorgeous and heartbreaking and the miscommunication just makes so much sense. again, act 2 is my favorite part of the game and this leans into act 2 gale so well and i love it so much

wow okay i will be shutting up now 🙈

[wannab-urs]

The Spreadsheet Digest - Vol 16

Howdy folks,

I went into a state of psychosis this week and read a truly absurd amount of fics... again. I don't even know where I'm finding the time, truly, but here we are. I didn't spend as much time keeping up with the WIPs I'm reading, so honestly that's probably it. Also I had a lil monsterfucking moment one day this week. I'll highlight those green so if you want to avoid reading the summaries/thots on those they're easy to spot.

You can find my Spreadsheet here and all my previous recs here! Do feel free to tag me in your works and I will happily give them a look and most likely you'll see them here the next week!

Recs below the behind the scenes Joel!

SNAFU - a Frankie series by @theywhowriteandknowthings

The Triple Frontier boys as Shifters!!! This honestly makes so much sense? Like they work SO well with this dynamic. I adore Pope and Reader's bond like right out of the gate. What I really, really fucking loved though was Reader and Frankie, of course. I love how they characterized him and I really love the way that Frankie and reader bonded over time. Frankie being grumpy is so fun lol. A lot of the little details in this fic are what really make it good, ya know? The pack dynamics, the bonding moments, the badass reader, reader's uhhh issue (spoiler, I think, so I'll be quiet here) but yeah. Just. Wonderful. Can't wait for more.

only daddy that'll walk the line - a Joel one shot by @millerscoffee

So this request was sent to two different blogs and I read them both and loved them both. I read this one first. I really fucking loved Reader's dynamic with Joel in this. Joel is such a dick lmao. I thought the situation with reader's dad was done well and I also loved the hinting at Joel's trauma. And of course... the smut. God that was hot. Joel is so fucking dominant. The spitting? please. and Reader keeping up the brat thing just really fucking makes it. She needed Daddy Joel to make her behave lmao. SO GOOD

Little Bee - a Joel one shot by @atticrissfinch

And this is the other version of this request that I read. I related to the specifc brand of Daddy Issues in this one lmao. Dad who doesn't want you so you look for a protective older man (why am I like this). I loved the way reader antagonized Joel in this. The denture comment is hilarious. The bee motif is fuckin great, also. I like that Joel kind of initiates things in the mess hall. The smut is so god damn hot man. Like jesus fucking christ. And then the post nut clarity really made me giggle. "should not have done that" PLS

Closer - a Joel series by @beardedjoel

Hot neighbor!joel!! This is a smut marathon style fic with a good bit of feelings. The smut is sooooo good!! I really liked her friend Sofia too. I'm about halfway through this and I can't wait to see how reader and joel's relationship develops!

Rises the Moon - a Joel one shot by @psychedelic-ink

(monsterfucking, but you're the monster! also monster is being used very loosely here) mermaid reader x lighthouse operator joel!!! I really enjoyed this. The mermaid reader was super interesting. I wanted to know more about her background, honestly. And the way poor lonely Joel so desperately wanted to care for her UGH. It was seriously lovely. I also really liked how reader didn't commit to like... giving up being a mermaid for him (even just once a month), and he didn't ask her to. The ending is really lovely. (And the smut is hot idc if I couldn't quite imagine how it worked, it was perfect).

Playing with fire - a Joel one shot by @beskarandblasters

Super hot smutty lil dad's best friend one shot. I love when Joel gets all pissy. Makes me want to tease him even more lmao

Cupid's Chokehold - a Din one shot by @deathwife

I haven't read a body swap fic before and I must say the dynamic with it being Din, so reader can't see his face even though it's her face, and also the smut was just like... really good. I was fascinated the whole time + the smut was hot as hell. It's really fun to read it from the perspective of the dick owner lmao. I really adored their relationship and just overall thought this was lovely. Reader calls Din "Djarin" so if you're like me and marrying Din would give you an awful name (Din Gin....), you're not alone. <3

I think i know - a Joel one shot by @pascalisbaby

OMG Reader's sister is so mean in this she fucking deserves Joel cheating on her. Yes this is Sister's Husband!Joel. And yes it's really fucking hot. Reader is a menace to fucking society in this prancing around half naked and seducing a married man and I support every second of it. I know what Joel said at the end but I think he'll be back for more....

close your eyes, pay the price for your paradise - a Joel/Tommy series by @ozarkthedog

Raider (?) Tommy and Joel are so fucking hot. Read the warnings on this one kids, it's gonna be a rough one. Nothing happens in this part though, really. Basically you're stranded on the road (post outbreak / pre tess) and Joel and Tommy roll up in their truck and take you to their cabin.

a day in the filth - a Joel one shot by @toxicanonymity

This is pure filth, as the title implies. It would seem you're Joel's little sex toy, essentially. Brat tamer!Daddy!Joel. There's a lot going on here and it is all unreasonably hot.

Bodily Exchange - a Pero Tovar one shot by @absurdthirst

I finally caved a read a mafia fic and somehow it wasn't Joel. I really loved how much of a fucking dick Tovar was and how bratty reader was. The end was so much sweeter than expected, which was a nice surprise. Such a filthy fic with a sweet happy ending!

New York or Nowhere - a Joel series by @beskarandblasters

BODEGA JOEL!!! I love when you're trying to help your friend come up with a fic based on a very specific request and somehow you come up with a completely different fic altogether. New York transplant Joel owns Beldro's Deli. You think he's really hot but your friends think he's a creep. I personally think if he's a little bit of a creep that just makes it better, but then again I'm a little insane <3

Shiver and Shake - a Joel one shot by @multiversed-daydreamer

I have ADHD and literally do the thing where I have thought spirals during sex. I loved this take on that experience and mean ol dom Joel being there to bring your focus back where it belongs (on him). Super fucking hot ugh. And it was their first TLOU fic and I thought the QZ Joel characterization was spot on <3

Roads - a Joel series by @milla-frenchy

Baby's first fic!! So you grew up with Tommy, best friends and all that. You get to know Joel as an adult and there's a spark right away. The first installment here takes place 3 years before present day, after Joel breaks your heart and you literally move to get away from him. The promise of so much angst has me salivating almost as much as the really hot smut.

Promise - an Ezra one shot by @criticallyacclaimedstranger

MONSTERFUCKING! I had a little binge this week.. you'll see. Anyway Ezra is a literal actual dragon in this with a big ol dragon dick and everything. This fic includes so many wild ass kinks I simply do not (or did not know I?) have. And yet I still loved it. Thought it was super fucking hot. I really liked the imagery of the castle and the bedroom. Also the end was kind of sweet?

Common Courtesies - a Din one shot by @juletheghoul

More monsterfucking -- demon!din! I fucking love Pride and Prejudice. Jane Austen in general. Mr. Darcy is one of the literary loves of my life. This little Pride and Prejudice-esque Demon!Din fic hit every mark. I loved it so much. Din is so charming and mysterious and sexy ugh. I would marry him in a heartbeat.

Solum - a Dave York one shot by @ezrasbirdie

You guessed it! Monsterfucking. Demon!Dave York!!! I really enjoyed the blending of the movie plot with the demon arc! It was so well done!! Dave was super sexy in this ugh. I too feel a strange pull toward extremely dangerous men covered in blood. Reader gets me. I am her. She is me. Demon!Dave can take me as his little human sex toy any day, idc. I also kind of loved that he was so sweet on Carol in this? Like usually in Dave fics he kinda hates her or cheats on her or she's his ex, but in this one the whole catalyst was keeping her and his girls safe. Very sweet.

Sell My Soul For You - a Marcus P one shot by @absurdthirst

--monsterfucking-- Marcus is so sweet. So sweet that Reader is getting a little aggravated he can't be a less sweet in bed. (Girl have you tried like... talking to him about it?) Anyway, sweet, impulsive, reckless Marcus finds out you feel this way via buttdial and does he like... work on it with you and slowly learn to be better? No. He goes out and sells his soul to a demon to be a better Dom. Idiot. He's cute tho, so I'll let it slide. The smut is super fucking unreasonably hot, of course.

Bad Moon Rising - a Jack series by @wardenparker

--werewolf!Jack-- This fic is actually so fucking sweet!! So part one, Reader doesn't know Jack is a werewolf and he just kinda shows up on her ranch and they hit it off immediately. There's lots of lovely animal references and stuff and it's all really hot. I love the plot too!! this is not just werewolf porn! Shit is incredible! I love the characterization. But anyway if you're not into monsterfucking just read part one. Part two tho... oh boy. Full on werewolf sex. And reader has a kink for it! She's just like me fr.

Kudzu - an Ezra one shot by @beskarberry

--weird alien hybrid ezra-- I have lots of emotions about this fic. First of all, read the warnings. They're extensive and they're there for good reason. I love a good horror fic, which is kind of what this felt like? Like the weird tension and unknowing and the freaky way Ez is talking and that arm. I was thoroughly freaked out (and I love that!!). There were so many clever and interesting things going on in this fic AHHHH, Oh and the ending is just like super sweet and wonderful and so good? The end balances out the kind of horrific nature of the rest of the fic. Also if any of that sounds insulting I really don't mean it that way, I promise. I went in to it expecting to be freaked out and it delivered so well.

Yes Father - a Joel series by @chloeangelic

Your boring catholic husband doesn't fuck you right and you really want to leave him, so Father Joel helps you satisfy your needs so you don't destroy your marriage and go to hell. I love blasphemy. It's hot idc. I think my favorite thing about it is Father Joel randomly admonishing you for foul language and taking the lord's name in vain while he's literally got some part of his body buried in yours. I giggled. I really adore this. It was super fun and super hot.

Pillow Talk - a Joel one shot by @theboredinsomniac

Joel is soooo the jealous type. This fic is basically y'all having an adult conversation about him being an insecure jealous little bitch and it's got the most adorable ending.

Born to Run - a Marcus Pike series by @whataperfectwasteoftime

Penny's Marcus is just perfect. Every damn time. Unless I'm mistaken, this was her first Marcus fic? I was in the mood for a sweet multichapter thing with some hot smut and I was sooooo not disappointed by this. I'm on chapter 8 now, so about halfway through. Marcus is so sweet and precious and still impulsive as ever, but unlike Theresa, reader is right there with him. I really adore that this fic takes place in KY (and it really captures the vibe of Kentucky too) since I'm from there! I very much do not relate to the fact that reader is a marathon runner, but that's okay. I think it's really cool and I love the way they meet and that Marcus isn't fully a white knight? She can take care of herself. Super fucking cute fic ugh. Oh yeah and the smut is to die for jesus christ Marcus is hot.

----------------------

Happy Reading!

[kalolasfantasyworld]

Thank you post #1

I think the tag limit is 5... so that's how many people I will tag.

Main post

all of these mentions are PH related

@thoughtfullyrainynightmare 🔥

I had to start with you, because you're the first person in the fandom to talk to me. You were also the first one who drew Helena and I will treasure this art forever 🥺 Just like you showed me how fun collabs can be, when we wrote the ballroom fic, which is fully PH canon. You also shared some of my PH arts supported me with your tags and comments. Believed in my story. There are so many reasons for why I can simply call you a good friend and I'm happy I got to know you.

@lyranova

You may not remember this well, but you were also one of the first people to support me in this fandom. You were always so sweet and kind and even when I was super shy I gathered the courage to text you and ask for fic advice, because guys let me tell you writing the break up chapters was hard.

@loosesodamarble

We started talking a bit later, but I'm so happy we did at the end and I got to know you. You're such an amazing person and your incorrect quotes always bring such a smile to my face. I mean I even your prompts in a smut fic 😂 I also always appreciate your reblogs on my art. You share your thoughts and I'm so happy to read them each time.

Just as I love the reviews you gave to the first few PH chapters. They were really in depth and I'm still amazed how you pointed out a really important part to Helena's character arc.

@koneko-pi

You're not really active anymore so I wonder when you'll see this. We literally missed each other when it comes to fandom engagement times, but I'm so happy I got to know you despite that. Your art inspires me so much and I mean literally few days ago you helped me go through an art crisis. This means so much to me.

I admit that I grouped the four of you, to write below thanks to the group. I send you overwhelming amounts of WIPs, drawing, writing and you always support me with each and every one of them. We joke we laugh, we come up with incorrect quotes and that's how some of my one shots came to be. You inspire me.

But also you help me when I feel down. When I have an art block, writing block I can talk to you about them and ask for advice. Or sob that PH will come to an end and you understand. 💕

@acacia-may

I'm really happy you're taking your time and a break right now and I hope you'll see this once you'll be ready to come back.

We started interacting through an ask you sent me regarding a PH illustration. It was just the sweetest thing ever and when we later talked I adored how we both focus on the siblings bond. You on the best space brothers and I on the birds. You were the first person to be genuinely curious about Gabriel, who's a very dear OC of mine. Honestly through some of the conversations with you a bit of his character developed. You also asked about the other Drazel siblings, such as Mateo 🥺

[weepingfromacedartree]

Surviving the AO3 Drought

Hi friends!

We're coming up on almost an entire day of AO3 being down. Since I'm sure most of you are like me and going insaneee with the blackout, I wanted to share this incredibly ROUGH draft of chap 1 of my current Polin WIP for anyone desperate for content.

A few warnings:

This fic is nowhere NEAR being done (emphasis on this being a ROUGH draft). It will most likely be a few months until I start posting the finished chapters.

This chapter (and the fic in general) deals with issues like grief and neglectful parenting, so TW for anyone who might not want to read about that.

Most of this chapter depicts Penelope and Colin as children. It was annoying to write. Might be annoying to read. I promise, they're teens/adults in all future chapters.

I do not condone children taking in stray cats and keeping them as pets. This fic is not meant to be a tutorial of any sort.

Ok if I didn't scare you off... please enjoy!!

Chapter 1: First Pet

Today: April 29th, 2023

Relationship Status: Dating (Semi-Secretly)

꙳

“Gregory just texted to ask if we’re dating. I didn’t think he had my number.” 

“That little arsehole probably sent it to himself when he stole my phone.”

It’s Saturday. Penelope and Colin are sitting on the floor of his flat, a few containers of chinese food littered between them. It’s not a particularly unusual setting to find either one of them on a Saturday night. However, some things are different now. 

Two weeks ago, they would not have been playing footsie. Not this shamelessly, at least. 

“I assumed that Eloise’s ‘vow of secrecy’ would involve her immediately telling Benedict… And that Benedict would tell Anthony… And that Anthony would tell Kate… But I don’t know how the rumour managed to spread to Cambridge in…” She glances down to her phone again. “Six hours flat.” 

“‘Rumour?’” he echos, a smirk on his face. “Surely, you’re not trying to keep this sordid love affair hidden from me as well.”

“‘Sordid?’ God, Colin. You make us sound so dirty.” She kicks his foot away, turning her attention back to the shrimp fried rice. “And I’m not trying to keep it from anyone. We both knew what would happen the second I told El.” 

“Frankly, I’m surprised Greg didn’t text you sooner.”

Colin tries fixing his attention on the kung pao chicken in hand, but it unsurprisingly wanders. 

“So… What are you gonna tell him?” 

Penelope quirks an eyebrow, a look of uncertainty making a quick appearance on her face. 

“Well… I was going to hold him in suspense a little while longer. Maybe take the ‘no comment’ approach at first. Then — I don’t know — the truth?”

“Which is?”

Colin watches as uncertainty turns to downright confusion. 

“Yes?”

Internally, Penelope wonders if Colin is teasing, or if there has been a miscommunication of monumental proportions between them. The look on his face confounds her, though. Neither option seems to be the correct one. 

“‘Dating’ is a bit too casual a word for us, I think.” 

Penelope’s confusion fades away as a familiar tingling sensation lights up her stomach. 

“It’s only been a week. What do you suggest we call —”

“We should get married.” 

“What!?”

He’s teasing. He’s teasing. He’s —

“I said we should get married.” 

Penelope waits for him to expand on this insane notion, but all she gets is that smug little smirk. 

“Okay. Why?”

“Why does anyone get married?” Colin says matter-of-factly. “I love you. I wish to continue loving you forever and ever. Ergo, marriage.” 

“This isn’t funny.” 

“It wasn’t a joke.”

“It —”

“It was a proposal.”

“Colin.” She uses the sternest voice she can manage to muster up, which happens to be quite shrill at the moment. 

“Pen.” At least he has the decency to drop that stupid smirk. He also drops his kung pao chicken, leaning forward to place a hand on her knee. 

“Just, think about it for a moment. We didn’t meet a week ago, we just finally said the thing we should have told each other a decade ago — at least. I’ve been in love with you forever. ‘Dating’ you just feels like an unnecessary step to the rest of forever.” 

Penelope feels at war with herself. At her core, she is sensible. Logical. Reasonable. She knows — objectively — that skipping straight from friendship to marriage is illogical and senseless. 

But is it truly reasonless?

At her core, Penelope is also a romantic. A willing fool. An idealist against her better judgement. And in her heart, she holds twenty years worth of love for Colin. Would it really be so crazy —

Shaking her head ever so slightly, Penelope tentatively — regretfully — brushes his hand off her knee. At the loss of her touch, Colin’s lip juts out in a pout. 

“People date for a reason. It’s an institution — it has a purpose. It’s like a test run for marriage. Different than friendship. Teaches you different things about a person — things that set you up for a successful lifetime together.” 

“Friendship is not so different than dating. At least, not the way we did it.” 

“Colin —”

“You’re right, Pen. Dating is like a trial period where you decide whether or not the person you love is suitable enough to spend the next lifetime beside. You —”

“Do I really sound that unromantic?” she interrupts. Something about hearing her words on his lips makes them sound so clear. 

Colin laughs. “I think pragmatic is the word you’re looking for. But seriously, can you name a single thing you don’t know or feel unsure about me as a partner, after twenty years of friendship? What’s holding you back, Pen?”

Nothing. That’s the truth. There’s not a single thing about Colin that she feels unsure of. Not anymore.

But still… Even if there love has lasted decades, that sense of assuredness has only existed between them for a week. She’s spent more time wrestling on whether or not to cut bangs (and the answer always ends up being not). 

Still…

“Let’s consult the experts.” His words break her from the daze Penelope hadn’t realised she fell into. In those few measly seconds, Colin’s eyes broke away from hers and has rested on the phone gripped in both of his hands. 

“What are you doing?” she asks him. Her voice sounds far away. 

Colin taps something on his phone, out of view from Penelope’s curious eyes. Then he clears his throat. 

“Ten milestones every couple should celebrate before walking down the aisle,” he reads aloud. “Number One: Your First —”

“What are you doing?” Penelope asks again. This time, a laugh escapes her lips as she does so. Something about the seriousness on Colin’s face reminds her of the absolute absurdity of this situation. That it is a joke, even if it was intended as such. 

“I know you think this is all very funny, but I’m being serious. I know you better than anyone else in the world — you know me better than I know myself! I have loved you more than half my life and spent so much time delaying the inevitable. Why waste any more of our time by ‘dating’ one another? It just seems silly.” 

Colin stops ranting briefly, as if to allow Penelope to get her rebuttal in before he has the chance to make his point. When she stays silent, she can’t help but notice a hint of a smile crawl back up his otherwise serious face. 

“And while I know the romantic in you is buzzing to say yes and run down to city hall right now, I know the realist in you needs some convincing.” He briefly holds up his phone to display the article he pulled up. “So we will go through this list, which details everything you need to accomplish during the dating stage of a relationship. If, at the end, we realise that we checked off every single to-do item while we were still just friends, we will make the reasonable decision to get married.” 

If there’s one thing Charming Colin Bridgerton can do, it’s make a convincing argument. The realistic and romantic on each of Penelope’s shoulders suddenly go quiet.

“And where exactly did you find this scholarly article you are basing such a life-altering decision on?” 

He looks down. 

“TheMarriageExpert.blogspot.com” 

“Colin!” 

“They’re an expert, Pen!” 

After her giggles finally let up, Penelope sighs. He has convinced her to play more tedious games before…

“Fine. You have yourself a deal, Bridgerton. What’s first on that list of yours?” 

Finally, that serious expression on his face drops completely. He grins at her in that way that always makes Penelope’s heart skip a beat. 

“Number One: Your First Pet As a Couple,” he reads aloud. “During the course of your marriage, you and your partner will come to share many things together. Finances, homes, memories, and a million other things you cannot even begin to fathom now. A pet will help you prepare for those shared responsibilities. It will teach you both about the importance of…”

As Colin continues reading, a frown pulls at the tips of Penelope’s lips. When he finishes, she attempts to cover her disappointment with a shallow laugh. 

“Game over, I guess.” 

His eyebrow arches. “Pardon?” 

“We’ve never shared a pet, so…”

Colin’s mouth falls open. He pulls his free hand to his chest, underscoring the aghast look on his face. 

“Pen… Did Mr. Whiskers mean nothing to you?”

-------------------------------------------------------

Twenty Years Earlier: July 21st, 2003

Relationship Status: Sister’s Best Friend // Best Friend’s Brother

꙳

How did I get here again?

It’s Monday. The first real day of summer holiday. For most kids, that means the start of freedom. Six weeks of fun, followed by real life crashing down on them when the fall term begins. But for Penelope, it means the loss of structure. For six weeks, it is up to her to determine how — and more importantly, where — she spends her time. 

She didn’t want to spend it at home. Not this morning, at least. So she went to Grosvenor Square. 

At just eight years old, there aren’t many places Penelope can run off to unaccompanied. Even the Square, just two blocks away from her home, is hard to get away with. Her mum only allowed it because she was under the impression that Eloise would be joining her — that between Penelope’s sense and Eloise’s toughness, the two girls would be safe in the nearby park. But when Penelope ran across the street, she learned from Anthony that Eloise was not available for a morning stroll in the square. 

She could have just gone back home, but she really, really didn’t want to. So she went to Grosvenor Square. Alone. 

She was walking around the park, careful not to step on any cracks in the concrete. She moved to the grass when she realised that everyone was walking around her (even for an eight-year-old, her legs are rather short); she did not want to pull too much attention to herself and have someone question where her parents are. 

She was listening. To the birds chirping. To the nearby traffic. Mostly, to the people. 

Two teenagers were fighting. She was mad, he was sorry. She said something about him cheating, but after that, their shouts turned to whispers and Penelope couldn’t make out the rest. She wondered what type of exam he could have cheated on.

A little white dog barked at her. His owner looked apologetic. 

A neighbour of hers walked past her, pushing a stroller. Penelope thought about hiding behind the nearest tree, certain that Mrs. Abernathy would notice her and say something. Thankfully though, the baby started crying and distracted her. 

Just as Penelope was about to turn the corner and listen into the couple’s fight again, she had heard something different. 

“Meow.”

She thought her mind was playing tricks on her, but when she walked over to the nearest bush to investigate, a two giant blue eyes stared back at her. 

Oh, right. 

Penelope looks down at the kitten currently sleeping in her arms. 

He had white fur with little patches of black around his ears and nose. His whiskers were long — so long that they didn’t look like they were placed on the right cat. He was so small and scrawny — Penelope couldn’t tell if he was actually a kitten, or just a cat who spent too much time with too little food in his stomach. 

Without a collar or any family in sight (she had spent over an hour looking for them), Penelope decided to take him home. She spent 20 minutes taking the 10-minute walk home. She slowed her steps. She took unnecessary turns and waited too long before crossing crosswalks. She held the kitten tightly to her chest, shielded slightly by the nest she made out of her yellow cardigan. She practised what she would say to her mum. 

“Penelope. Anne. Featherington. Get that rodent out of my house!” 

It had not gone well. Although, even before she landed back on the front steps of her home, Penelope had suspected that there was nothing she could say that could convince her mum to let them keep him. 

She followed her mother’s instructions, fleeing from her house with the kitten in hand. Penelope didn’t have much of a plan once she hit the pavement outside, but like they so often do, she found her feet walking in the direction of the home across the street. But they stopped before they could reach it. 

Ever since Mr. Bridgerton died last summer, Penelope’s mum had warned her about showing up at their house unannounced. There are eight fatherless children in that house now — the youngest of which never even got to meet her father. They have enough going on as it is. 

They have enough going on as it is, she repeats again and again. 

That’s how she got here. Sitting on the edge of the pavement outside the Bridgerton household, a cat sleeping soundly in her lap. 

“It’s gonna be okay, buddy,” she tells him. She wonders if the kitten can sense the hesitance in her voice. 

Silently, Penelope wonders what the right thing to do is. Where the right place to go is. The first place she thinks of is an animal shelter. Surely, that is the most logical place to bring a lost kitten to. They would know how to take care of him, how to find him a home with people who want him. The only problem is that Penelope does not know of any actual animal shelters in Mayfair.

The second place she thinks of is the fire station down the street. Firefighters save cats, don’t they? Or was that —

“Pen?” 

Colin, her mind registers before she even has the chance to turn around. When she finally does, she attempts to smile, while also shielding the contraband from his view. Colin, in turn, throws her his usual smile — bright and true. The one that always manages to make Penelope’s stomach flip over inside herself. It does so now, even with the fresh sting of disappointment still welling up inside her. 

“Oh, hi. Sorry, I didn’t mean to —” 

“What’s that?” he asks, nodding to the kitten she clearly failed at hiding away from him. Before she has the chance to answer, he sits down beside her on the curb.

“I found him in Grosvenor Square. He was all alone and I didn’t know where else to go…” Her voice trails off, once again contemplating what a responsible person would do next in this situation. 

“You gonna keep him?”

“No.” Disappointment is evident in her voice. “Mum won’t let me. She hates cats.” 

Penelope takes her eyes off the kitten to look up at Colin. While only two years older that her, he stands nearly a head above her (he’s tall for his age — she’s short for her’s). Even sitting, she has to tilt her head up just to look him in the eyes. As usual, his brown mop of a haircut hangs so low that it covers his eyes somewhat, but Penelope can still see the blue-green colour peaking through. She’s always quite liked that colour. 

Colin tilts towards her a few inches, then raises his hand to gently pet the kitten’s head. “I’d take him, but mum and Daph are both allergic.” 

Penelope can feel her eyes go wide. Mr. Bridgerton was allergic to hornets…

“Not that kind of allergic,” he reassures her, seemingly reading her mind. “They won’t, like, die or anything. Their skin will just get all red and scratchy if he gets anywhere near them.” 

“Oh — sorry. I should just go.” Pulling the kitten out of Colin’s grasp, Penelope stands. She starts to turn away from him, but is once again reminded that she has no idea where she is supposed to go. 

“Wait — no. Where are you gonna take him?”

“I don’t know,” she admits. “Where are you supposed to take stray cats?” 

He shrugs. “I dunno.” 

“Okay. I —”

“But I have an idea.” 

꙳ ꙳ ꙳

The Bridgertons live on a gold mine. Metaphorically. Literally, they live on nearly an acre of land in the middle of Mayfair. Their back garden is massive compared to the neighbours that surround them, a feat that is only possible due to the home being passed down from one Bridgerton to the next for so many generations. That’s the same reason Penelope’s family is still able to reside in the house across the street, but their garden is not nearly as sprawling. 

“Where are we going?” 

She and Colin hadn’t gone through his house, rather, they went around it. Now, he leads her towards the very back of the estate, a few steps ahead, one hand on the wall to their left. His index finger traces the cracks between the stones. 

“Have some patience, Pen.” 

“I — I do.” And she does. Usually. Usually, Penelope is a remarkably patient girl. Well-mannered. Quiet. She usually wears those attributes on her shoulders like a uniform. But for some reason, they tend to slip away from her whenever Colin is near. 

Penelope’s eyes flick right, towards Colin’s family home. It seems purposeful, that they’re walking along the shadows of this wall. 

“Is Eloise home yet?” she asks, for no other reason than to fill the silence between them. Usually, Penelope prefers such silence. But not right now. 

“Uh, no. Ben took her into the city for her, uh… Her doctor appointment. They usually don’t get back until supper time.” 

Out of Colin’s view, she nods. For the past year — ever since Mr. Bridgerton died — Eloise has been seeing a doctor in the city pretty regularly. Penelope’s mum told her to never ask any follow up questions about these visits… but silently, she’s always questioned what type of doctor is able to fix an ailment like heartbreak. 

“Are you doing anything for the summer holiday?” she asks, another attempt to just fill the silence. She already knows the answer. They always travel up to Aubrey Hall for at least a week, this time of year. Always. 

“Nah. Just staying here, I guess.” 

“Oh.” Dread appears suddenly and sits heavily in Penelope’s stomach. Mr. Bridgerton died at Aubrey Hall last August. Of course they’re not eager to return.  “Us too.” 

“Cool. I’ll see you around then.”

She feels her cheeks instantly flush. “Yeah. Cool,” she says, hoping her voice does not expose the growing warmth on her skin. 

Without a word, Colin breaks away from the stone wall beside them and walks towards a particularly dense cluster of trees. When Penelope follows, she finds Colin standing next to something she’s never seen before, despite the many years she’s spent playing with Eloise in this yard. It’s a wooden shed of sorts. It’s wide and just about as tall as Penelope. 

“What is that?” 

“Some old shed. I dunno… I think they used to store firewood in here, back in the olden days.” He kicks open the latch with his foot. “Empty now, though. I don’t think anyone else remembers it’s here.” 

“So…” 

“So, your cat could live here.” 

Penelope looks down. At some point in the last few minutes, she had somehow forgotten the kitten held tightly against her chest. She had forgotten her whole point in being here. 

“Oh! Right. That’s, um…” 

She steals another glance at the shed. It certainly does look like it was last used during the “olden times.” 

“That’s really kind. But how would he — how would that work?” 

“We get him a bed, milk, food… Everything a cat needs to survive.”

Penelope’s brow furrows. “Those things cost money…”

Colin shrugs. “I’ll steal a $20 out of Anthony’s wallet.” A smile erupts on his face when he sees shock overtake Penelope’s. He didn’t know a child could open their mouth that wide. “Kidding — I’ll just tell him I’m sad. He’ll probably hand me a $20 and tell me to go fix my feelings with ice cream.” 

“Oh — okay. But…” Her mind stalls, searching for another flaw in his logic to voice aloud. There are just so many to choose from. “Mum always says we can’t get a pet cause they’re too much responsibility. You have to take care of them, feed them, make sure —” 

“Hey — we’re both very responsible people. I help keep Greg alive, and that kid thinks licking an electrical socket is a fun pastime. If I can do that, keeping a cat alive will be nothing.” 

“So we would, um…” She steals another glance at the shed before them. She can’t help but look at it and see a cage. “We would just lock him in there all day?”

“No!” He says quickly, a bit nervously. “We’ll keep the door open — or I could even cut a cat-sized hole in the side. You know, so he can come and go as he pleases.” 

“But if he’s able to leave that easily… Won’t he get lost again?” 

“No. If I know anything about cats, it’s that if you feed them, they’ll always find their way back to you. And since you found him hanging out in Grosvenor Square, clearly he’s an outside cat, not an inside cat.”

Penelope looks down at the kitten again. His attention has turned away from her; his round eyes dart back and forth wildly as he takes in all the space around them.

“I thought only strays went outside.” 

“No. A cat can have a home and not want to stay cooped up in at all day long.” Colin takes another step towards her. He raises his hand and scratches behind the kitten’s ear, who immediately starts purring. “Clearly, this little badass wants to roam free.” 

Yet again, Penelope can feel her cheeks burn pink. She’s lived in London her entire life, she’s heard words far worse than “badass” a million times before — but never from Colin’s lips. In fact, the two of them had never really been alone like this before. He was her best friend’s brother — a friend of sorts, but tangentially so. He was only ever in Penelope’s company through her friendship with Eloise. She isn’t used to having this much of his attention on her. 

“Here.” After what feels like hours, she pulls the kitten away from her chest and nearly shoves him into Colin’s. “He seems to really like you.” 

“Oh — okay.” Unsurprisingly — and annoyingly quickly — the kitten settles into his arms. Clearly, Colin’s natural charm works on animals just as well as it does on people. 

Colin finally takes his eyes off of hers, turning around to show the kitten what could be his new home. With his gaze finally off her, Penelope’s mind flushes with panic. With words she had brushed off just moments before. Colin offering to spend his own money. To cut a hole in the shed. To take care of the cat, himself. 

He has enough going on as it is. 

Penelope looks up to see Colin setting the tiny creature down in the shed. Then, without much thought, she steps forward and takes the kitten in her arms again. 

“I’m sorry, Colin. I didn’t mean to get you wrapped up in this.” She turns away, pulling the kitten closer into her chest.  “I’ll drop him off that the fire —”

“Pen, stop.” His hand falls on her shoulder, then squeezes it once, gently. Although she is not very experienced in receiving such small physical gestures, Penelope can tell that he meant it to be reassuring. “He’ll be fine here, I promise.” 

She turns slowly. His hand drops. By the time they face each other again, her blush has almost abandoned her cheeks. Almost. 

“Are you sure it’s not too much?” 

He laughs. Genuinely. Kindly. Just as he always does. 

“No.” Gently, Colin pulls the kitten out of her arms again. “How could this little guy ever be ‘too much?’” 

Pushing away all thoughts that scream that this is a bad idea, Penelope pushes her shoulders back. She stands tall (metaphorically, of course). 

“I’ll do half the work — at least. I can check on his bowl every morning. Make sure he has water and food and whatever else he needs. Maybe you can do the same at night. And if you ever can’t, just let me know and I’ll help. And if it ever does become too much, I can find him somewhere else to live.” 

When she finally closes her mouth, Colin’s smile returns. Then, he extends his hand towards her. “You got a deal, Featherington.” 

Tentatively, Penelope raises her hand to seal said deal. But before she can make contact, Colin’s hand moves, as if to signal her to “stop.” 

“Once last thing. We should just keep this whole thing between us, or ya know… Anthony will send both me and the cat to the nearest shelter.” 

“Colin! I —” 

“Kidding!” He laughs again, which has a surprisingly good effect on Penelope’s nerves. “But really… It’s simpler if we don’t tell anyone else. Not even Eloise — she can’t keep a secret for her life.” 

She tilts her head again, stealing a not-so-quick glance at his eyes (through the mop of hair still obscuring that blue-green colour). Since as long as she can remember, Penelope has always wanted more of Colin — in some ways that she will not be able to define with words until she is much older. But even at just eight years old, Penelope knows she wants to be around him. She wants his attention. She wants to share a secret with him. Even if she knows it’s a bad idea. 

“Deal.” With that, Penelope shakes Colin’s hand and seals their fate forever. 

꙳ ꙳ ꙳

August 5th, 2003

꙳

It turned out to be a rather easy secret to keep. 

Penelope was good at staying unseen — at blending into the shadows. Every morning at approximately 7 AM, she snuck into the Bridgerton back garden. And every morning at approximately 7:10 AM, she snuck out without being noticed by anyone other than Colin. Not that has mum or siblings would bat an eye if they happened to find Penelope back there. Before Edmund died and her own mum warned her to keep herself scarce, there were times that Penelope spent more time at the Bridgertons’ home than her own house. And despite Portia’s warnings, they would gladly invite her inside, any day. 

Colin was also quite good at escaping his family’s notice on his own daily task. Every night around dusk, he would sneak into the kitchen or bathroom, fill an 8-ounce bottle with tap water, then hide it in the front pocket of whatever hoodie he happened to be wearing that day. They kept the cat food in the shed, in a locked container Colin bought at the pet store down the street (with money he had stolen from Anthony’s wallet — although he never admitted that he followed through on the theft “joke” to Penelope). The longer time went on, the less effort he put into sneaking out of the house everyday. The longer time went on, the more obvious it became how easy it is to disappear from a house with nine people. Especially when the one person everyone searches for is no longer around. 

The only conspirator that ever put them at risk of being found out was Mr. Whiskers (a name Colin had thought of, after Penelope complained that they couldn’t just keep calling him “little guy.”). Three times in two weeks, Whiskers had loitered around the Bridgerton’s back steps, meowing for attention. Colin had caught him the first time and shooed him off. Daphne caught him the second time and screamed bloody murder. Anthony caught him the third and nearly called animal control, but thankfully, Benedict had stepped in to tell their older brother to “chill out.” Thankfully, Whiskers seemed wary of coming close to the Bridgerton household after that last encounter. 

A routine formed. Penelope would sneak into the garden in the morning. Colin would sneak out of his home at night. Mr. Whiskers would come and go as he pleased between meals. Their paths rarely cross. Until tonight, when Colin spots someone running towards the back of the garden in the moonlight from his bedroom window. 

Someone quite short. 

Less than five minutes later, Colin runs along the same path — far less cautious than he usually is at dusk. He prays his mum or siblings are not watching out their windows like he was his. That they’re asleep — not pacing circles in their rooms in the middle of the night. He knows the risks are there, but the further his feet carry him, the more faraway they feel.

He hears crying in the distance. Quiet, but persistent.

He sees her before she sees him — sitting criss crossed on the entry of the shed, Mr. Whiskers climbing into her lap tentatively. She does not notice him until he is standing but a few feet away. 

Colin had felt distinctly uneasy since the very moment he spotted her in the back garden. But a wave of fear strikes him cold when their eyes meet. Hers go so wide that he swears he can see the moonlight reflect off of them. She does not immediately speak; even her crying goes silent when she realises she is not alone. 

“Pen, what’s wrong? How can I help?” 

“Noth — nothing.” She sounds scared. At least the fearful look in her eye is somewhat obstructed by nightfall. Her words cut clean through the darkness. 

He steps forward, now standing only inches away from her. Instinctively, his hand raises and gently grips her shoulder. He feels her flinch beneath his touch, but not enough to remove herself from it. 

“Pen, whatever it is, you can tell me. I can help.” 

She averts his gaze, focusing intently on the cat still sitting in her lap.

“It’s nothing, really. I — I just wanted to see Mr. Whiskers for a little bit.” 

Colin doesn’t say anything, too busy internally trying to make sense of the words she spills and the worry in her voice. They do not fit together. 

“I’m sorry,” she continues. She uses the back of her hand to wipe at her nose. “I shouldn’t have — I’ll just go.” 

“Don’t go.” Before Penelope can move, Colin squeezes her shoulder again. His mum does the same thing when he gets so upset and that he needs help calming down. 

Slowly, under Colin’s grasp, Penelope’s shoulders stop heaving. Her breath evens out. She meets his eye again.

“What happened?”

“Honestly, nothing.”

“Pen —”

“Nothing that isn’t, like, normal, I mean.” He does not know what she means. He can’t imagine a single normal thing that would cause someone to run away crying from their home in the middle of the night. Especially someone as small and defenceless as Penelope. 

“Mum and dad were just fighting,” she confesses after realising that Colin’s look of concern will not fade unless she tells him the truth. “A bit louder than usual, I guess. But it’s not like I haven’t heard them fight a million times before.” 

“That’s —” Not normal. But he doesn’t say that. He can’t say that. He’s suddenly — alarmingly — struck by the fact that what he deems “normal” might not be the same for Penelope. That there are “normal” things in his life — all of which came about in the past year — that other people would scoff at and tell him are unimaginable for a kid to deal with at his age. 

That’s not right, would be more accurate. But he doesn’t say that either. Instead, he simply asks: “Do you want to come inside? El is probably asleep, but I could wake her —” 

“No — thank you, but no. I should actually get going.” With that, Penelope slips out of his hold. “Mum will kill me if she realises I slipped out.” She places Mr. Whiskers back in the shed before turning to leave. She takes four steps before Colin finds his voice again.

“You don’t have to do deal with this all by yourself, Pen. I’m here. I want to help.” 

At his words, Penelope goes completely still. Deer-in-deadlights type stillness. Then, before he knows it, she’s walking towards him. 

Her arms wrap around his torso. Her hands land firmly on his spine. Her forehead falls on his shoulder. Without a single thought, his body reacts. His arms wrap around her and his jaw settles on the crown of her head. For a moment, it feels like its just the two of them in the world. Until Colin feels something furry cross his ankle. 

“I guess Whiskers was feeling left out,” he says. Penelope laughs and Colin feels a bit lighter. That lightness is quickly followed by something hollow when Penelope pulls herself out of the hug to pick up the kitten meowing at her feet. 

“He keeps trying to follow me home after breakfast.” She giggles softly. “Clearly, he doesn’t remember meeting my mum, or else he would stay away forever. I think she thought he was a rat that day I found him.” 

Colin chuckles, and it’s only somewhat forced. “Yeah, he tried sneaking into my house a few times. He met Anthony last time, though, and I don’t think he’s ever gonna forget that.”

She giggles again. “Was he mad?” 

“His face was red — literally! Although, I’m starting to think that’s just how is face normally is and that it takes great effort for him to appear like us normal people, if that’s how he reacts to a cute little kitten hanging around our back door.” 

Penelope scratches Whiskers behind his ears. Eyes not leaving the cat, she whispers: “I don’t know how people can see something so sweet and get so mad.” 

Colin’s eyes don’t leave Penelope when he responds, suddenly a bit deflated: “Me neither.” 

Slowly, she lowers Mr. Whiskers back to the ground. The cat does not appear to be very keen on leaving her side just yet, but Penelope still insists: “I should really head back now. Before anyone notices I left.” 

Colin spares a glance over his shoulder, towards the family home he had nearly forgotten about. It’s likely past midnight already, but there are still a few lights on upstairs. 

“Yeah,” he grumbles. “Me too.” 

Penelope nods. She looks like she’s about to turn and leave when Colin blurts out: “You wanna meet here again in the morning? When you feed Whiskers, I mean.” 

She doesn’t immediately respond with words, but rather with a very confused expression lit by the moonlight. “I thought —”

“Our system’s like efficient and all,” he cuts in, “but we haven’t exactly seen each other much since we started taking care of him. I dunno, I guess I just thought that we would hang out more.” 

“Oh!” Her voice registers barely below a squeak. “Yeah. I know what you mean. I…” She pauses so long that Colin wonders if it is his turn to speak again. But right before he can blurt out something again, Penelope says: “I’d like that.” 

For the first time in days, a smile creeps up on Colin’s lips. 

“Cool. See you tomorrow.” 

꙳ ꙳ ꙳

August 14th, 2003

꙳

“I’m not sure I understand the rules of this game.”

“It’s our game. The rules can be whatever we want them to be.” 

Penelope stands with the tips of her toes and the palms of her hands pressed neatly against Colin’s matching sets. There’s a piece of cat biscuit placed between her right palm and Colin’s left. There’s a tiny kitten peering up at them from where their shoes connect. He looks just as confused on the parameters of this game as Penelope feels. 

The rules, they eventually settle on, are these: 

Before getting into the aforementioned position, one person briefly presents the biscuit to Mr. Whiskers (taking turns to avoid leading the cat towards favouritism of one player over another).

On the count of three, one person takes the biscuit into their hands, both turn around and run in opposite directions. 

Mr. Whiskers follows whoever he believes holds his treat. 

Penelope ends up with the biscuit three times. Colin ends up with it five times. It falls to the ground between them eleven times. Each time, without fail, Whiskers immediately takes off after Penelope. 

“This isn’t fair!” Colin calls out from behind a tree on their twentieth attempt at this so-called ‘game.’ “It’s not my fault you bonded with him first.” He points a finger at the cat currently pawing at her ankles. “I feed you just as much as she does — traitor!”

“Shhh, Colin!” Penelope whisper-yells. “Someone might hear you.” 

“Oh, who cares?” he says nonchalantly, retreating back towards the shed. 

I care, Penelope thinks. She doesn’t want any one of Colin’s many siblings to stumble upon them back here. She’s not ready to give up this secret. She’s not willing to end this game. Not yet, anyway. 

“Mr. Whiskers cares. I doubt he wants to be evicted from his home just because you’re a sore loser.” She picks the kitten up and plops him down on Colin’s lap, now sitting criss-cross in the shed’s doorway. 

“Well, he should have thought about that before picking sides.” He sticks his tongue out at Mr. Whiskers, who continues to appear unphased by his surroundings. 

Like she has come accustomed to doing over the past two weeks, Penelope sits down on the other end of the shed’s opening. His body is turned towards her, but she keeps her positioned outwards, as if to keep watch. Her legs cross in front of her at the ankles, her nails scratch into the grain beneath her, and, sitting upright, the crown of her head brushes the wood frame. Colin is — obviously — slouched in his spot beside her. 

After a moment of quiet, Colin clears his throat. 

“You know, you can come over for dinner tonight, if you want.” 

“Oh, no. That’s okay,” Penelope says quickly. Dismissively. “Mum will expect me home soon. I think we’re having stew.” 

“Yeah, but what about tomor—” It’s a pretty uncommon occurrence for Penelope to see a blush pass by Colin’s typically unblemished face, but right now, it hits his cheeks in an instant. He turns away. “Well, not tomorrow. Obviously. But another day.”

The mention of tomorrow brings a feverish feeling to Penelope’s chest. Much different than the warm feeling she usually feels in that same spot when she’s around Colin.

“I can’t. I — I don’t want to impose.”

“You wouldn’t.” He finally looks her in the eye again. “You wouldn’t, I promise. When you have eight kids, one more mouth to feed hardly makes a difference.” His eyes travel to the side again. They point towards his house, partially obstructed by the scattering of trees they’ve found themselves in. “El would be happy if you stopped in. Mum too.” 

Penelope tries to push out her mother’s voice from her head when she says: “Yeah. Another day. Soon.” 

“Good.” 

After another moment of quiet, she pushes herself forward and lands with two feet on the grass. 

“I really should head back now, though.” 

“Okay, I’ll —”

“But, Colin?” She interrupts — a truly rare occurrence for Penelope Featherington. 

“Yeah?”

“I was just thinking… Maybe I could feed Mr. Whiskers breakfast and dinner tomorrow. I know we have our system, but… I just — I don’t want you to have to deal with taking care of him on top of any… family stuff.”

Colin, now holding rather tightly onto Mr. Whiskers in his arms, considers her offer for a moment. His brows furrow. His eyes glance downward. He starts forming a word on his lips and Penelope expects to hear the word “no” escape from them shortly after. But instead, he nods and says: “That’s kind of you to offer. Thanks, Pen.”

Kindness isn’t something that Penelope has ever been thanked for before. She had been rewarded for it in other ways, but not like this. Kindness had always been something that was expected, not appreciated. Now, she feels hesitant to accept thanks for something as small as offering up a few minutes of her time for someone who has gone through more grief than she can even imagine. So instead of accepting it outright, she simply nods and says: “Goodnight, Colin.” 

 ꙳ ꙳ ꙳

August 25th, 2003

꙳

When Penelope walks towards the shed at approximately 6:55 AM this Monday morning, the door is shut. This is strange. The door is always open. Penelope had convinced Colin not to cut a little cat door on the side of the shed (he had wanted to use a saw from their garage), so the door always has to be open for Whiskers to come and go. Always. 

The closer she gets, the harder it is for her to take another step. Her head is already filled with the image of an empty cavern on the other side of that door. It couldn’t have close on its own; the latch is locked. Someone closed it. 

Just as her hand grazes that metal latch, Penelope hears footsteps. Quick and increasingly loud footsteps. She jumps (literally) around — heart pounding, eyes wide — and sees…

“Colin! Where’s Mr. Whiskers?!

“In there.” He points to the shed behind her, still shut tight. Once he gets close enough, he reaches over he shoulder and finally undoes the latch. Just as promised, the cat is there, curiously looking up at them.

“He keeps trying to follow me back into the house after I feed him. Last night, he was scratching at the back door. Thank God I got to him before Anthony.” 

“So he was just locked in there all night?” 

She spares another sideways glance at the shed’s interior. It’s not nearly as bare as it had been that first day she looked inside. There’s two containers. Two bowls. Two electric lanterns. A blanket. A few cat toys. And a few human toys she assumes once belonged to Colin. To an animal as tiny as Mr. Whiskers, it might seem huge, but to Penelope, it all feels very claustrophobic. 

“Yeah, but… Sometimes it’s just safer to stay put for a little while. Even outdoor cats need to be reigned in some nights.” 

Penelope doesn’t know whether to agree or disagree with his words, so she tries her best to ignore them. She climbs into the shed, gives Whiskers an affectionate bop on the head, then fills his bowl with breakfast. 

“I wanted to wake up early and let him out, but… I guess I slept in.” Colin’s out of her view, still standing just outside the shed, but she can guess there’s a guilty look creeping up on his face. 

“You’re not wrong,” she finally settles on. When Whiskers finishes his meal, she finally looks back to Colin. Just as expected, guilt is evident on his face. “But maybe Mr. Whiskers isn’t an outside cat after all. Maybe that’s why he keeps trying to follow us back to our own homes.” 

“I thought that was just because he loves us.” Leave it to Colin Bridgerton to transform guilt into charm in under 30 seconds. 

“Well…” Penelope turns back to Mr. Whiskers again. As usual, he’s peering up at them with a transfixed — maybe even loving — stare. “Maybe you have a point.” 

“I usually do —” 

“But still — do you really think this is what’s best for him?” 

“What do you mean?” 

“I mean…”

She bites her tongue — literally. All of this started because of her own selfish wants. To keep the cat. To occupy Colin’s attention. To have a reason to get out of her house every morning. But the more time has gone on, the harder it has become to see past the potential consequences of her selfishness.

“Summer’s almost over. We have to go back to school and can’t look out for him all day. It’s gonna get cold soon…” Colin’s face looks serious now. More serious than she’s used to seeing it. She looks away. “What if he gets sick? Or needs a vet? I just don’t know if this is really his best option.”

Penelope points both hands towards the shed. Towards the small wooden structure that completely transformed her summer. Towards the only home Mr. Whiskers has ever known — dim and claustrophobic as it may be. She expects Colin’s eyes to follow her lead, but they don’t. For a moment, it feels as though her presence completely slips from his view. His eyes are fixated on something in the distance — something in the opposite direction. Then —

“Shite!” 

His arms hastily wrap around Penelope’s waist. It takes everything in her not to shriek in surprise as he practically throws her into the shed. Thankfully, Mr. Whiskers jumps from the doorway to the back of the shed in an instant, or else she surely would have crushed him on impact. 

“Colin! What —”

“Shh!” Colin climbs in and shuts the door behind him. Thank God those electric lamps are still (just barely) holding onto life and dimly illuminating the space, or else Penelope would not have been able to discern him mouth: “Anthony.” 

The tips of their toes touch in the limited space. Penelope wonders if he can feel her shaking through the plastic tips of her yellow converse. The concerned look he throws her way tells her that he must.

“You okay?” he mouths. 

She thinks about nodding. She briefly wonders if a nod can count as a lie, or if lies can only be spoken aloud. But she doesn’t do anything, except stay frozen in her spot. 

Everything is quiet. For a brief moment, Penelope thinks they may have actually gone unnoticed. Then, she remembers that the latch — the flimsy piece of metal that keeps these doors shut — is on the other side. When Mr. Whiskers paws at the wood beams, the door swings open. The morning light nearly blinds her, but not enough to miss Anthony Bridgerton’s very mad — very red — face. 

“Colin — what the hell?!” 

Just as Colin had thrown her into of the shed mere moments ago, Anthony now pulls Penelope out of it by the shoulders. Just like Whiskers, she somehow manages to land on her feet. 

“I knew it! I knew you were irresponsible, but this —” He bends down and grabs Whiskers by the scruff of his neck. “This is insane. Even for you.” 

Anthony turns to Penelope, as if he has only just now discovered her presence beside Colin. In mere seconds, she watches his face turn from anger to shock to annoyance. He turns to his little brother again. 

“I will be the responsible adult and make sure this — thing — finds an actual home and doesn’t continue living on the streets.” With a near-growl caught in his throat, Anthony tells Colin: “We will discuss this later.” 

He turns to leave, but stops. “And Colin, do not mention this to mum. Or anyone else.” 

He starts then stops again. “And Penelope, please do not let my brother’s bad influence rub off on you. A nice girl like you has enough trouble as it is being friends with Eloise.” 

It isn’t until Anthony has properly stomped away, Mr. Whiskers securely tucked in his arms, that Penelope seems to regain control of her body and mind. Slowly, she turns towards Colin. She uses every second between then and the moment she looks him in the eye to begin preparing an apology. For getting him in trouble with his brother. For getting him caught up in this mess to start with. For being a bad friend. But the moment that their eyes meet… Colin does not look like he is expecting an apology of any sort. 

He laughs. 

“Did you see the look on his face?!” 

“Uhh. I don’t —” 

 “He looked like a tomato! I swear one day he’s gonna burst and —”

“Colin,” she says, concern in her voice, too low to break through the noise of his continued laughter.

“— marina sauce is gonna go flying —”

“Colin!” she says again, a bit louder this time. Thankfully, it seems to get his attention. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have —”

“Oh god, Pen. Don’t be sorry.” 

“But —” 

“But your — your brother —”

“I should be apologising for Ant— even if you and him were both right about Whiskers needing somewhere else to live.”

“Yeah…” As much as she will miss her tiny, furry friend, this is for the best. For Whiskers, at least. “But Anthony was so mad at you. And I —”

“He’ll get over it. That’s the great thing about having seven siblings — wait five minutes and someone will do something even stupider than you. Daph and El are probably inside getting into a fist fight as we speak.” 

The mention of her best friend temporarily draws Penelope’s thoughts away from her internal pity party. She saw Eloise plenty of times over the past few weeks, but not nearly as much as she did during previous summer breaks. Before last August. 

“You wanna come over for dinner tonight?” Colin asks, breaking her from her thought spiral.

“Hmm?”

“I said,” he smirks, “do you want to come over for dinner tonight?” 

“I don’t know… Anthony seemed —”

“Don’t worry about Anthony. He’ll get over it — and you heard him, he’s not even going to rat us out to my mum.” He takes a step forward, then places his hand on Penelope’s shoulder. He squeezes it once. “It’ll be fun. Everyone will be excited to see you.” 

Not for the first time — and certainly not the last — Penelope feels at a loss for words. All she can manage is a tiny nod. A nearly imperceptible movement. 

Colin smiles. 

“Good. Just so you know, the door is always open. Always.” 

Finally, little Penelope Featherington finds her voice again. 

“I know.” 

-------------------------------------------------------

Penelope tries to hide the smile on her lips by shoving another fork full of shrimp fried rice into her mouth. Colin — of course — sees right through her attempt. 

“So…” 

“Anthony was right. We were awfully irresponsible that summer. He was better off after Danbury took him in and he became Lord Whiskers.”

“Hey — give us a little credit! How many 8 or 10-year-olds do you know who could keep a cat alive for a summer all by themselves?” 

“The only impressive thing we did that summer was keeping our little secret hidden from the rest of your family.” 

“What are you talking about?!” Colin says, unable to keep his ever-charming laugh from escaping his throat as he speaks. “Do not downplay our role in raising that cat. You rescued him from the mean streets of London. I —”

“I found him hiding out in a bush in Grosvenor Square!”

“Exactly! And I —” 

“Colin!”

“I built him a home,” he barely manages to get out through his laughter.

“That’s a bit over-dra—”

“We fed and took care of him for over a month. We were just kids — that’s pretty impressive. That means something.”

In her heart, Penelope knows that — obviously — it means something. But does it mean what Colin wants it to mean? That they should get married? Even with the rules he set forth, it seems like an insane connection to even consider.

“I don’t know…” 

“For five weeks, he was ours. That means a lot.”

For a moment, Penelope does consider it. She thinks about who Colin was to her before she found Mr. Whiskers. A friend — of sorts. Her best friend’s brother. A neighbour. A crush. Someone she looked at and longed for. After, she thinks of who Colin was to her on that morning Anthony found them hiding out in that tiny wooden shed. A friend. A fellow kid. A conspirator. Someone who saw her cowering in the dark and asked if she was okay. 

So what, if their hypothetical marriage hinges on a technicality? People have married on flimsier grounds before. 

“Fine,” she relents. “It counts.” 

A moment ago, she wouldn’t have thought it possible, but Colin’s grin grows even wider. 

“Of course it does.” As Penelope attempts to cover her own grin with a scoff, Colin picks up his phone again.

“Let’s see…”

[dark--whisperings]

✨✨✨✨🫱Care to share🫲✨✨✨✨

The message was sent to you because someone loved your writing and stories. ❤️

▪️What are your writing suggestions for newcomers, or what would you have liked to know when you first started?

▪️How do you write different personalities and perspectives? Could you explain how you came up with the manner you written your favorite or any character?

▪️What do you do when you have writer's block?

▪️How do you come up with new ideas and develop them?

▪️Any messages for your readers or fellow writers?

You are welcome to answer if you have the time and desire, or you can simply respond to the questions that come to mind.

💐Thank you for your work as a writer and as a member of this fandom!💐

OMG anon, what a sweet message! Absolutely made my day! I'm so glad that you liked my fics. ✨💖🥹✨💖🥹✨💖🥹 And wow, these are some great questions!

Extremely long response under the cut because I simply... have no chill LMAO.

What are your writing suggestions for newcomers, or what would you have liked to know when you first started?

It's so daunting to post your first fic for so many reasons, but just... go for it. Write what you want and fuck what anyone else thinks. Writing should be something that you do because it gives you joy, and you shouldn't cater the things you write to align with popular tropes (unless those are things you actually feel inspired to write). Guarantee that somewhere out there, you made someone's day with your fic, even if they didn't comment. Fanfiction and writing are about creativity and giving yourself permission to meet yourself where you are, whether that's being silly, escaping the shittiness of the world for a few hours, exploring something deeper and more vulnerable, revolting against canon, or whatever else.

Also on that vein, leave kudos, comments, and asks for your favourite authors! As much as we like to say that we write for ourselves, it also is immensely helpful to receive positive feedback. It doesn't need to be a hugely detailed comment... keyboard mashing and emoji flailing are just as important. As a writer (and reader!), support your fellow writers! Don't be afraid to interact with people you recognize on your socials... we're just seven monkeys in a trench coat on a good day, and typically love flailing about fandom with others. Being able to chat and create with other creators and fans online has been an incredible experience for me. (I'M STARING AT YOU MY MUTUALS 👀👀👀)

How do you write different personalities and perspectives? Could you explain how you came up with the manner you written your favorite or any character?

Oooh this is a fun one! I actually prefer to switch POVs in my writing, because I like to play with the concept of an unreliable narrator on both sides, and then switch abruptly give the reader insight into other characters perspective. I think it's a fun experience as a reader.

As far as characterizations, I think about the differences in how they might act, how they speak, their mannerisms, and right down to the differences in their vocabulary. For example, Anakin is more likely to be blunt and say exactly what's on his mind, whereas Obi-Wan is more likely to use more interesting words and gilded speech. Adding these pieces is usually part of my editing process to! I'll typically start by getting the plot and words on the page, and then edit the characterizations in later.

... and then, you know, sprinkle in some of my own head canon for the characters. Because 😇✨creative license✨😇.

What do you do when you have writer's block?

Writing sprints in a fandom server! Honestly, sometimes I'm stuck simply on principal, and sprinting gives me the motivation (because I'm the type of person who works better under pressure). If that doesn't work, I try switching to a different WIP or chatting with a friend about it (you'd be surprised how effective a simple conversation with your beta can be). And barring that... look for a beta project. I actually started out in fandom as a beta, and I find that a brief switch between writing and editing can kickstart the creative juices!

How do you come up with new ideas and develop them?

Music. Sometimes lyrics give me ideas for new project. But a lot of the time, it's the feel of certain songs that inspire ideas for new fic. Sometimes, I write from experience, or write about things I'd like to experience. In a lot of cases, writing is a very personal experience for me. I also very much enjoy participating in the fandom prompt festivals. There's just something about being inspired by a random prompt from a stranger and potentially making their day. 💟💟💟

Any messages for your readers or fellow writers?

Just that I love you all, adore the obikin fandom, and am incredibly grateful for the experience I've had so far. This has been the best fandom experience I've ever had (and I've been kicking around online for 15 years now). I wouldn't change it for anything, and it wouldn't be possible without the dedicated creators and lovely readers to cheer us on! 💗💗💗💗💗💗

Also if you feel inclined... drop me an anon ask with links to your favourite fics if you would like! Bonus points if it's a fic you wrote and are proud of. I want to read all the things, and maybe have a party in your comments!🫂🫂🫂

[skeptiquewrites]

20 Questions for Fic Writers

Thank you for the tag @tackytigerfic (here) and @maesterchill (here). Emerging from my post illness hidey hole.

How many works do you have on ao3?

32, a number that both seems too large and smaller than I thought

2. what's your total ao3 word count?

254,835. Wild.

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Mostly HP, although once in a while I peek over at other fandoms. And I have a joint Check Please fic in the works.

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

All Drarry. None really surprised me but the final one, I hadn't realized it climbed that far up the kudos. Huh. 1. Yours Truly - my romcom fic about Harry feeling left out when everyone's coupled up, telling a lie that gets out of control, and also how hot magical ecology is 2. Home Truths - my Quidditch fic about the complications of fame, love of the game, Harry finding out who his family was and letting himself fall in love 3. Special Affinity - how quickly one can justify fucking one's coworker given a bonding spell while having no idea if the feelings part is reciprocal 4. Winner Takes It All - Draco feeling caught in impossible circumstances, working too much, caregiving for a parent, and how small kindnesses can mean the world 5. A Little Time - mistaken for a couple, forced proximity, Healer school, and everyone in a small town hating you and all your friends on sight

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I love responding to comments, but it takes me a while. I read every single one, and I try to wait until I have the time and energy to respond with something thoughtful. I'm months behind at this point.

6. What is a fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

I'm a fairly happy ending sort of person. I tend to go more for straight angst for drabbles and micros. Maybe Beside Manner? They're formerly bonded and dealing very badly with the dissolution.

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Oh, gosh, most of them. I'm most enamoured by the Big Damn Kiss at the end of Home Truths. I love No Distance because Harry and Draco are very much in love and not able to hide it. I am particularly fond of the end of Winner because I was able to leave Draco in a very good place that felt right for the fic.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Not really I think. I get the occasional rude bookmark rating. Once, a very unpleasant person who sent lots of hate for months over a fairly inconsequential aspect of a fic. And then there have been a few comments where it's clear the reader wanted me to write a different fic, which I don't really take that personally. Nice comments far outweight the negative.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Not much. Tender, expressive, evocative. Light on details mostly.

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

I am not a crossover person.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

I don't think anyone has ever tried.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Yes. Two by the wonderful Bluebubbling which I was thrilled by.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

I've always wanted to. I'm trying my hand with another fandom, but one day.

14. What's your all-time favorite ship?

Drarry. It just hits different.

15. What's a wip you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?

I'm one of those people who has a dozens of ideas. I think I'm unlikely to finish my Veela!Harry fic, I just don't think I have the range. I have yet to successfully write and finish a PWP. Would be thrilled to finish some of my rare pairs.

16. What are your writing strengths?

Hmmm. I think dialogue, efficiency, and atmosphere.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

More complicated or mystery-oriented plots, the mid-level between an ensemble cast and an intimate chamber piece, anything with significant length, spending lots of words on one scene.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

One of my ideas about writing is that not everything has to be maximally accessible to all to be an authentic expression in a fic. If that's what fits or feels right, go for it.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

You know, I found out the answer for sure recently, and I will be keeping that information to myself. Highly embarrassing and yet formative. Let your imagination do the rest.

20. Favorite fic you've written?

Winner Takes It All. Exactly what I intended, turned out beautifully. Some of my favourite writing.

tagging @magpiefngrl @lettersbyelise @lqtraintracks @quicksilvermaid @goblinmatriarch @teledild0nix @boxboxlewis and anyone else who is interested

[the-lincyclopedia]

20 Questions for Fic Writers

Pretending I got tagged by @cricketnationrise!

How many works do you have on ao3?

As of an hour ago: 214. I just recorded a podfic tonight.

What's your total ao3 word count?

494,201. I really hope to pass the half-million mark this year. It won't take much. I just haven't had basically any writing energy lately.

What fandoms do you write for?

These days? The Queen's Thief, when I write fic at all. Historically also Check Please, Carry On/the Simon Snow trilogy, Sherlock, the Lizzie Bennet Diaries, Yuri on Ice, PJO, Boyfriend Material, Good Omens, and more.

Top five fics by kudos:

Love in the Time of Influenza - Carry On - Snowbaz sickfic

Face the Future with You - Check Please - autistic!Jack x ADHD!Bitty

The Aftermath of Angelic Assumptions - Good Omens - Ineffable Husbands sickfic

Man Oh Man, You're My Best Friend - Check Please - Zimbits fake dating

Nightmares - Carry On - Snowbaz hurt/comfort

Do you respond to comments?

Basically always.

What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

the only soul who can tell which smiles i'm faking - a Kent-centric ficlet set just after Jack's overdose

What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Most of my 200+ fics have happy endings, so I don't really know how to answer that.

Do you get hate on fics?

Not recently, but it was a pretty regular and normal occurrence when I was on FFN in my teens. Once, someone sent me flames on 18 separate chapters of a multi-chapter fic in a two-day period. It sucked. But also, comments with concrit were so, so common for me to receive in my teens that I figured they were a normal and expected part of the fandom experience, and I have so much cognitive dissonance when people say they're not and never have been. I've neither given nor received unsolicited concrit in quite a few years, and I fully understand that they're not part of the culture on AO3, but two of my longest-lasting fandom friendships began with concrit on FFN (once giving, once receiving), and I think "this has never been a normal part of fandom culture" is an overstatement. I also think there's a difference between hate (which I've received several times) and the majority of unsolicited concrit that I've received. Not everything that's rude is hateful.

Do you write smut?

I have written M-rated grinding once and E-rated sex once. Not sure if I'll write either again. I'm pretty darn ace.

Weirdest crossover:

A Little Help - Lizzie Bennet (firmly of the Lizzie Bennet Diaries canon, not the original P&P) meets Eric Bittle at Vidcon and the two of them become close friends.

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not to my knowledge. I know of at least three spinoffs of fics of mine, though.

Have you ever had a fic translated?

Not to my knowledge.

Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Not exactly, but when I'm in a relationship with someone I share fandoms with, the alpha reading/cheer reading/yes-and-ing/etc can blur into co-creation. And honestly I've also had key alpha readers who I haven't dated.

All time favorite ship?

Gosh, I can't pick.

What's a wip you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

My Queen's Thief fic where the characters all study abroad together. I have a detailed outline and a few thousand words, but I've had so little creative energy for the past several months.

What are your writing strengths?

I usually say persistence, but I don't know if I've had as much of that lately. Um . . . clarity, SPAG, and like--I have a really clear memory of what it was like to be younger, and I think that brings life to the stuff I write about college/other parts of life that I've already passed through.

What are your writing weaknesses?

Describing things. I prefer writing dialogue, but I'm also never sure if my characters sound like people. Realism in general is tricky for me--I get too hung up on logistics and then completely fail at writing people with realistic motivations. So lots of stuff.

Thoughts on dialogue in another language?

I almost never do it. I could maybe swing it with Swedish, although one time I tried and got corrected by a Finn (which was welcome and they were right, but it made me wary of trying again).

First fandom you wrote in?

I don't want to answer this publicly because I feel like the story of me getting into fandom/into writing in general is pretty unique, and I might tell it someday with my real name attached if I ever get published. (I just checked, and there are literally zero fics on AO3 for the book I first wrote fic of. The fic that I wrote is not on AO3, since I was ten years old and it was 2006, and I'm very grateful that, although I entered online fandom young, I didn't enter it quite that young.) The first fandom for which I posted fic was probably the wizard one that we're no longer naming. May have been Artemis Fowl or PJO, though.

Favorite fic you've written?

To Every Single Kid I Used to Be - an epistolary fic in which 25-year-old Jack Zimmermann writes letters to his younger self, one letter per year of his life. Featuring autistic!Jack and a whole lot of real details from my own life.

Anyone who wants to play, feel free to say I tagged you, but I'm specifically tagging @doggernaut, @eponymiad, @worldsentwined, @cartograffiti, and @the-knights-who-say-book!

[sunflowerseedsandscience]

Twenty Questions for Fanfic Writers

Tagged by @numinousmysteries! Thank you!

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

37

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

493,156

3. What fandoms do you write for?

The X-Files, pretty much exclusively.

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

By the Dim and Flaring Lamps

Ripper Weather

She's Beauty, She's Grace

Between Sorrow and Bliss

Someday Your Child May Cry

5. Do you respond to comments?

I do if someone has a question, or if someone comments on the way I've written something in a way that makes me feel like I should explain the choices I made (biggest example was a commenter on BtDaFL who seemed to be viewing the story through a modern lens without taking the time period into account). I wish I did respond to every comment but honestly I get so in my head about it that I end up paralyzed most of the time. But I absolutely read every single one and return to them frequently, especially when my self-confidence is ebbing.

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Probably the short prompt where I gave elderly Mulder pancreatic cancer?

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Most of mine have happy endings but By the Dim and Flaring Lamps was probably the most unambiguously happy since everyone who dies in canon- Melissa, Samantha, Ahab, Bill and Teena Mulder- are all alive and well at the end of it.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Not really? There was some out-of-the-corner-of-their-mouth sniping about Pequod (not to my face), but it was clear that person didn't understand how character arcs work. Someone sent an anonymous message that BtDaFL was boring, but lots of people find historical fiction boring.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Only if it fits into the plot of the story, and only if I can make it match the overall tone of the fic.

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

I have one short Doctor Who crossover on AO3. I also have a Harry Potter crossover where William is a wizard and a wizard friend of Scully's secretly adopts him when she finds out Scully gave him up because she recognizes the phenomena happening around him, but that's never seeing the light of day while I'm still alive.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not to the best of my knowledge.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Someone asked if they could translate one of mine into Russian but I'm not sure if they did or not.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

No.

14. What’s your all time favorite ship?

Always gonna be MSR.

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

That ballroom dancing lessons one is languishing and I doubt I'll get back to it anytime soon, mostly because I have no idea what the rest of the plot was going to be.

16. What are your writing strengths?

Dialogue, plot, and distinct original characters, I think.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

I'm not very good at making my words beautiful or lyrical. I'm in awe of authors like @aloysiavirgata, @leiascully, and @slippinmickeys whose styles are so fluid and lovely. I feel like mine is often very matter-of-fact and clinical.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

I've had to do it once or twice.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

I wrote something about The Land Before Time when I was in elementary school, long before I knew what fanfic was.

20. Favorite fic you’ve written?

Probably But Always Together.

Tagging @leiascully and @mldrgrl if they haven't done it yet!

[the-platelet-queen]

20 Questions Writer Tag

Thanks for the tag @justafunctionalmess ❤️

I have two AO3 accounts so I'll be taking from both of them.

How many works do you have on AO3? 32 works, not counting two abandoned works that are not associated with me anymore.

What is your total AO3 word count? 76,137 words

What fandoms do you write for? Oof, so many it's such a long list. As for the ones I've posted: Psych, Bones, The X-Files, New Girl, Victorious, Monk, That 70s Show, Supergirl, Schitt's Creek, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, the Shadowhunter Chronicles, and two others I'm not gonna mention because they're cringe. I write for at least double what I listed.

What are your top five fics by kudos? Daddy with 343 kudos (Supergirl; I hate it's my most popular fic, purely because of the title), Walter and Nancy with 239 kudos (Victorious), Sparks Fly with 207 kudos (Supergirl), Sleepover with 143 kudos (Schitt's Creek), and Superstar with 127 kudos (Supergirl again).

Do you respond to comments? Why or why not? I try to! I get email notifications of comments, so I really see them on there, absolutely cherish them, then forget to reply on AO3. Sometimes I go on to reply to some in batches. I never know what to say in reply, but I'm so grateful to everyone that comments!

What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? The fic with the angstiest ending was Jericho (The X-Files). I've posted like two angsty fics total, and I don't usually write angst.

What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? All of my fics end happy so this one was really hard. I guess I'd have to say Cold Blooded Killer because it's not a traditionally happy fic until the end :)

Do you get hate on your fic? Very very rarely, yes. It's only happened three times. The first time I was so upset about it. The second and third times I'm pretty sure it was the same person (guest account commented) so I just deleted it.

Do you write smut? Yes, but I don't post it. I don't write it very often either, very rare.

Do you write crossovers? Nope, not my cup of tea. I don't read them either.

Have you ever had a fic stolen? Probably not. At least not that I'm aware of...

Have you ever had a fic translated? No, but I have had someone record an audio of a fic I wrote. Hands down the coolest experience I've had with my writing so far!!

Have you ever co-written a fic? In a way, yes? If writing letters as characters back and forth with my sister counts.

What's your all-time favorite ship? I don't really have a favorite, BUT I guess I choose Mulder and Scully. Because of how they grew old together (I only watched the monster of the week episodes in the revival, but they were so cute together <3)

What's the WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will? My Bones high school AU. I've gotten so far on it, but the path ahead is longer. Also, the Boneheads podcast needs to come out so I can rewatch Bones and start writing it again.

What are your writing strengths? Dialogue, probably. I love character interactions, that's what I live for in writing (and also why I write fic). I want to see characters interacting, not necessarily a cool plot, which is why I emulate that in my own writing.

What are your writing weaknesses? Prose. I just don't like writing it (or reading it for the most part).

Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic? I don't know enough about any language to confidently write dialogue for it in my fics. I'd probably get one of my friends who's more fluent in other languages to help me.

First fandom you wrote for? I'm absolutely devastated to share that my first fanfic was for Martha Speaks. I was in second grade and PBS Kids was holding a contest for written stories. Mine ended up over the word limit so I never sent it in.

Favorite fic you've ever written? All of them. Even if the writing isn't as good, it was something I was so proud of at the time, and I can feel that when I read it.

Hmmmm, I'm tagging @bianxiousandcute, @sprqpointintern @that70sshowgoldencouple @thatseventiesbitch @tht70sblog

[mercurygray]

Fic writer interview

Thank you to @hesbuckcompton-baby for the tag!!

How many works do you have on AO3? 102, but I only started posting there in 2014. There is more fic dating back much farther on my ff.net account.

What’s your total AO3 word count? 1,035,887

What are your top 5 fics by kudos? The Darkening Sky - Band of Brothers She dealt her pretty words like blades - Little Women (2019) Waited for and Wanted - House of the Dragon More than a Team - Band of Brothers At Home, Alone - Prodigal Son

Do you respond to comments? Why or why not? I do! The way I figure, you've taken the time to write me something (and not everyone does) and the least I can do is say thank you, and maybe weigh in with some extra piece of lore or process.

What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending? I never finished writing this ending, but one of my TURN fics, La Fille du Regiment, was going to end with my character Margaret Frances running away from the character who was in love with her. They met in the middle of a war, and he was married, and she just wasn't convinced that it was ever going to work in her favor. So she ran away, and quickly married someone else who'd expressed interest earlier in the story. (There was also the small matter of her getting pregnant, which changed the time-table some.) Margaret was going to meet her love interest again some thirty years later and have him realize that the man with her is, in fact, his son, whom he'd never known about.

What’s the fic you’ve written with the happiest ending? A Rose Among the Briars is my big LOTR fic and I think really does have the happiest ending - Boromir doesn't die, gets married to a lovely woman, has kids, and lives happily ever after.

Do you write crossovers? I am a multi-verse madwoman. I love crossovers.

Have you ever received hate on a fic? YES. A Rose Among the Briars got some fun comments back in the day, including one particularly memorable comment from a woman who lambasted me for writing an OC who was younger than Boromir because 'he wouldn't go for that'.

Do you write smut? If so, what kind? When the mood strikes me! I've written a lot of M/F smut and a tiny taster of M/M/F throuple things.

Have you ever had a fic stolen? Not that I'm aware of?

Have you ever had a fic translated? Yes, I have! A Rose Among the Briars was translated into French (at least partially) by someone who just loved the story.

Have you ever co-written a fic before? I have! I used to do a lot of tag-team writing via instant messenger with several friends - they'd write a line, and you'd write a line back. It was a really, really interesting way to write and it sent scenes in very different and fun directions. Stopping to clarify things, or ask where they wanted something to go was really instructive.

What’s your all-time favorite ship? I think in terms of the volume of fic I wrote for them, my favorite ship has to be Emma Green and Henry Hopkins, from Mercy Street. I just really liked their character dynamic - he was the chaplain at a military hospital, trying to wrestle with past mistakes and what his role was in a war where he wasn't carrying a gun, and she was the privledged daughter of a wealthy slaveholder trying to find her place in a world that was changing all around her. Both of them had these really meaty moral storylines and there was just a lot of opportunity for poetry and scripture and longing glances and forbidden love and it was just really, really good.

What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will? I have this throuple thing I started writing for MOTA that will probably never see the light of day.

What are your writing strengths? People have told me recently that they really like my dialogue, and my ability to really capture canon character voices as true to form. I was also told I have an uncanny ability to introduce people and immediately make you care about them, which I'm pretty proud of.

What are your writing weaknesses? Keeping things short.

What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic? I actually kind of like it! I speak a little bit of French, and some Italian, but I always try to check with a native speaker if I'm adding whole lines in a different language.

What was the first fandom you wrote for? Lord of the Rings. And that fic is still on ff.net if you want to go read it. I keep it there to keep me humble.

What’s a fandom/ship you haven’t written for yet but want to? I honestly can't think of one! Because I do so much shorter format stuff here on my tumblr, if I have an idea it usually ends up getting written!

What’s your favourite fic you’ve written? I am the most proud of The Darkening Sky. It was a three and a half year labor of love and far and away the most 'successful' thing I've ever written, but I gained so many new friends and people who just really loved the characters I created and I actually finished it! I'm notorious for not finishing big projects.

Tagging @mads-weasley, @latibvles, @basilone, @softguarnere, @softspeirs, @noneedtoamputate and anyone else who's writing fic for Masters of the Air right now!

[mysticstarlightduck]

What is the most common trauma you give your characters? The one that most/many of them have. For example abandonment issues, survivor's guilt, something along those lines

Thank you so much for the ask, @an-indecisive-nerd!!!

Sorry for the late response btw - these past two weeks were really tough on me due to the fact I was anemic AND had a really bad flu, but now that I'm 100% back to health I'm ready to catch up with my asks and tags lol

I think a few of the most common traumas my characters face in my books are the following (mostly because I'm a whump enjoyer but also because those things are really plot relevant too):

Familial Loss - Most of my Main Characters have suffered some kind of familial loss in their past. A lot of them don't have their parents and if they have the good one is usually dead and the bad one is hunting them. Examples of this in my stories include: the Millihan siblings from WLITH lost both of their parents at a young age, Savvy Hahn from WLITH lost her half-brother to a brutal kidnapping when she was six, Adahm Ryker from Scrapyard Boys lost his childhood best friend when he was 12, Kaelan Brimcaste from Arrows of Nightfall lost his older brother and only guardian he ever had to an execution, and so on.

Poverty and Oppression- Many if not most of my MCs have suffered poverty in their past. In Grim City Chronicles Willem and his brother are street urchins in a Victorian Era-inspired city, Vince became a common prostitute to pay the bills and his cousin Peggy is a thief, and Ilya is a conman renowned for swindling nobles. Most of the characters from Scrapyard Boys suffered from various forms of poverty plus they live in a cyberpunk dystopian regime that is infamous for its oppresive and murderous tendencies. In Supernova Initiative, before Jack and Cassie Tithus became the richest and most wanted intergalactic thieves in the galaxy, they were just common street urchins in a backwater moon that was swamped by crime of all kinds. Even in WLITH - though NOT to the same extent as the other books, since the MCs in this book do have some stability - the Millihan siblings aren't exactly well off and Dylan often has to have 3 jobs just to pay the bills and settle their grandmother's debts that are still in their name.

Torture and/or Major Injuries: Many, many, many characters in my medieval high fantasy stories (Arrows of Nightfall, Realms of Loss, The Last Wrath, Crooked Fable, etc) AND in my science fiction stories (Scrapyard Boys, Plague of Tomorrow, Supernova Initiative) at one point or another of the story undergo some form of torture or continuous injury at the hands of their enemies.

Abandonment Issues & Betrayal - Though not as prevalent as the other traumas above, a lot of the cast from many of my WIPs has some form of abandonment issues. Erin Niemand from WLITH has very much unresolved abandonment issues due to her mother blatantly walking out on the family after cheating on Erin's dad. Adrien Rosetrom from Scrapyard Boys was literally kicked out from home and abandoned by his grandparents when he was 15. Victor Moreau in Grim City Chronicles was betrayed and shunned by his best friends when he was turned into a vampire at the age of 20, and lost his son to a monster hunter his so-called 'friends' sent after them a few years later.

Sexual Harassment: To a lesser extent (this time probably as some form of catharsis for my inner child 😭lol, but I'm fine btw) but still there, a few, specific characters in my WIPs have suffered some form of harassment or even, unfortunately, assault. Dylan Millihan in WLITH is stalked by a 50-year-old cougar (Mrs. Adelaide Draycott) who is disturbingly enamoured with him and wants to get the 23-year-old to fall in love with her or at least sleep with her at all costs, which she luckily fails at everytime but is still harassment. Adrien Rosetrom (Scrapyard Boys) has been catcalled, received inappropriate touches/groping or even snide comments from multiple men in clubs throughout the years due his job as a stripper - and the same applies to Vince in Grim City Chronicles but to a worse extent. (Also in Scrapyard Boys) It is implied Adahm Ryker suffered some form of assault by Dr. Gladys from the PHANTOM Labs when he was a teen, though any details are unclear. In the same WIP Karima Sallow offhandedly mentions that Caroline Tarych and her husband James both had a grooming-like attitude towards her before the Tarychs massacred House Sallow.

[alpinelogy]

10 & 19!

Lourdes do you have the slightest idea what have you just asked me? Thank you so much for asking :DD

10. Is there a fic that got a different response than you were expecting?

maybe we got lost (in translation) a thousand times over. Beyond the fact that it is my second fic that has broken the 100 kudos barrier which is already insane to me cause I did not expect anyone to read it since its a niche ship imo, the way people see the fic is so different from the way I saw it as I wrote it. For me it is a fic mainly about language and communication and how it changes based on who we talk with. Also specifically Esteban's relationship with English is very much based on my own experience with it, from being thrown into an English-speaking group and told to swim to English slipping in even when he is speaking in a different language ('the language spoken is a mess of French and English') Meanwhile at least from comments people see the relationship between Esteban and Lance way more strongly than I do. Which fair, it was partially written as a love letter to my bilingual friends who try to understand me even when my brain does not comprehend language and in hindsight I sometimes ignored the language part in favor of developing their friendship so I can see where they are coming from. And the fic is tagged as estelance so... lol Essentially what I am trying to say here is that people focused on way more on a part I considered secondary than I did while writing it, but I can see why. Also I've gotten so many nice comments on it and even tho I forgot to respond to them I do reread them on the regular because they spark so much joy (also first time someone whose writing I enjoy commented on my fic and it sent me for a loop lol)

19. Give us a small teaser from one of your WIPs.

I actually dont have that many wips rn, I know, shocking, its mostly just scribbled ideas and disconnected scenes. And kinkmeme claims cause I currently have uh... 50 of those

Anyway i do have this. A race engineer!Oscar AU Loscar in which Logan has never been normal about anything related to Oscar. Ever. Starring Logan as a pining mess, Oscar as the calm and collected love interest and Fred, Alex, and Liam as the victims of Logan's pining

“Good morning Logan.” Oscar says as a first thing on the first day of testing over the radio and Logan returns back to his thoughts of screaming, almost vibrating out of his seat in excitement. Goes back to his year old promise of not doing anything stupid ten seconds into the season. Hopes that when the cameras catch his inevitable joy after he gets back to the garage it will be brushed off to just being glad to be back in the car, rather than anything else. As a worst case scenario, he will just put up the Alex Albon patented peace signs because those always somehow make pictures so much more grounded and Alex is really onto something there, Logan needs to study it. He will need it for this year. Probably. Maybe. Most likely. It's fine. It's, whatever. It's definitely not that Logan also spends so much time looking at Oscar in meetings that Fred has noticed. It's definitely not that Fred, with all the subtlety he has, cornered Logan in his drivers room and unceremoniously asked what gives two days into the season. Logan deserved that one probably. When Logan tries to brush him off, it seemingly works because Fred lets himself be brushed off, does not mind Logan redirecting the conversation onto another topic instead. Logan does not know what actually awaits him days later. It's Liam this time, who corners him a few days later, after testing, after the first race weekend of the year properly starts, right after the last free practice before qualifying. Being Formula Two teammates must have done something to their understanding of personal space between each other because Liam waltzes into his driver's room like he owns the place without even knocking. Logan has a half mind to kick him out just for that, force him to knock before entering.

(this got long but look, this is 300 words out of 7.8k that i am fighting to stay under 10k it's small okay?)

fic writer ask game

[smooth-boob]

2023 Fic Year in Review

Thanks @penny-loaf and @hydriotaphia for tagging me!

List of Fics Completed this Year

Excluding the WIPs and stuff started in 2022:

To Tell the Truth - https://archiveofourown.org/works/46747165

The Bustle in a House - https://archiveofourown.org/works/47126467

From the blood of the wound, a flower sprang - https://archiveofourown.org/works/48305152

Overcome - https://archiveofourown.org/works/46083325

Doing The Voices - https://archiveofourown.org/works/47976274

The Morning After Death - https://archiveofourown.org/works/50856436

Running Toward Running Away - https://archiveofourown.org/works/47131885

Number of Words Written

47,530 (only those that are posted; my WIP word count is a very different number lol)

Your Most Popular Fic

To Tell The Truth. That one was a real rising star.

Your Personal Fave

The Bustle in a House, but tbh whatever I've most recently finished is most likely to be my favorite because I'm riding that high of having said what I wanted to say.

You Fav Scene

Don't make me choose!!! Right now I've been thinking about the garden scene and its aftermath from Chapter 3 of The Bustle in a House. I find it difficult to read, and I think that says something about its emotional impact!

A Fic or Scene that Challenged You

Chapter 3 of To Tell the Truth sent me into a creative spiral because I was working to figure out how to make the scene feel as honest and raw as the first two chapters and go really deep and emotionally soft and also get my Barbie dolls to just kiss already! 1000% worth it. That's my other favorite scene.

A Line of Writing You’re Proud Of

From The Morning After Death:

He spends the morning with his youngest siblings (his brother’s children), sharing stories and allowing the memories to crest and break over them in waves. In this family there are so many of them, siblings and stories, that they sometimes tell the same ones, some remembered differently, at different ages, or they confuse each other’s memories for their own and retell those stories, as if all the ways they remember him are true. In a sense, they are true. After all, memory is the only thing they have left.

A Comment that Touched You

Anybody who said my work felt honest, real, and/or special to them, and special shout-out to @andthebubbles for commenting along their journey reading Bustle because it let me know somebody else was out there wanting to read exactly what I wanted to read and to write!

Something that Inspired Your Writing

A fear of grief, Emily Dickinson, watching The Crown, these lines from Richard II that live rent-free in my mind...

For you have but mistook me all this while. / I live with bread like you, feel want, / Taste grief, need friends—subjected thus, / How can you say to me, I am a king?

Your proudest accomplishment (that one scene; finally finishing that one fic; posting your first fic; etc):

It felt really amazing to get properly back into writing in general, and to push the boundaries of emotion I can convey. 2023 was something of a breakthrough year.

Do You Have Any Writing Goals for Next Year?

To actually work on my novel...haha.

As far as fanfiction goes, I really want to finish my Kathony fic that's basically season three for them, which I'd love to put out there before season three comes out. We'll see about that. I'd also like to finish my Bridgerton Phantom of the Opera AU.

In terms of skill development, while I love the precision and brevity of my work, I am trying to slow down more and know when to give scenes space to breathe.

Tagging @andthebubbles, @hyperesthesias, and anyone else who would like to do this!

[bee-saucee]

We R Who We R | Denki Kaminari Character Study

A short Denki character study with a little bit of ShinKami! This is one scenario of what I'm hoping will be a full character study I'm doing in preparation for my next fic as I'm wrapping up my current WIP!

While Denki loved his friends, there was no way in hell he was going to the club after work today. He is usually a master at brushing off the critiques and knocks at his ability, but it was different when the comments didn’t stop and half of them were coming from…him.

Denki groans and kicks off his shoes. He quietly thanks the universe that all three of his roommates had opted to go out so he had the place to himself. He shucks off his office clothes and changes into his fluffy Pikachu pajama pants and favorite baggy top. They both had holes in them, but do you really expect him to throw out his comfort pajamas? Yeah, there’s no way in hell that’s happening.

The craving for hot chocolate hits him like a truck so it’s straight to the kitchen to grab his favorite hot chocolate mix. But of freaking course Shinsou was always the one who would pick up the fancy tins from his favorite coffee shop for Denki each Christmas. He shifts the tin out of sight at the back of his cupboard. Not today. He should treat himself even more than usual today anyway so Bakugou’s fancy hot chocolate it was.

He pulls up his notes app and scrolls until he finds the recipe that Bakugou had sent him after a year of asking him to always make it.

As he heats up the milk all of the comments that chipped away at his esteem over the day come rolling back in.

“Denki, can you please try to focus a little bit? These mistakes are all so simple. I know you get distracted easily, but I also know you can do better than that.”

Denki bangs his head against the cabinet. He could deal with the jokes, but Shinsou didn’t joke. He only told the cold, hard truth and today the truth was that Denki made a shit ton of dumb mistakes. The truth is that he’s also falling for the jerk like crazy.

“Being mean is so not sexy,” Denki grumbles and adds in the cocoa powder and sugar.

Except his lizard brain totally thought that Shinsou with all of his dry humor and painfully accurate comments was sexy as hell. What the fuck, lizard brain?

Right now was Denki time, though and he was not about to spend all of it worrying about the bitch ass commentary from his crush. So, his good bitch Kesha it was.

It was almost a ritual at this point. Linking up his phone to his bluetooth speakers. Testing out how slidable the kitchen tiles were beneath his fluffy sock-clad feet. And, of course, preparing to shake some major ass. 

He tosses his phone against the counter and starts to rap the first words he’s imbued with true confidence all day.

Hot and dangerous

If you’re one of us, then roll with us

'Cause we make the hipsters fall in love

The ass shaking starts as he revs himself up for the chorus and he tries to let the events of the day roll off his back.

Got that glitter on my eyes

Stockings ripped all up the side

Looking sick and sexified

Even if no one else would gas him up, Kesha always did and he would too. He made a killer cup of homemade hot chocolate and was funny as hell. Tonight was for puffing his chest back out and being okay with all of the dumb mistakes he makes. So just for tonight, fuck Shinsou and his opinion.

You know we’re superstars, we are who we are

Thanks for reading! ( ͡ಥ‿ ಥ)━☆ﾟ.*･｡ﾟ

✰like ✰ reblog ✰ follow ✰ comment ✰

[tgmsunmontue]

From the Ask Meme for @phisworld14

🥤 ⇢ recommend an author or fanfic you love

You didn’t specify a fandom. 😂 I’ve been reading fanfic for 15+ years now. Some authors I do not read any more, however Sara’s Girl is an author I will always read, even though I do not consider myself part of the fandom anymore. Her weekly fanfics got me through some rough times and her weekly updates were what I would hang onto sometimes (and she knows all this – she’s someone from my FFnet/ LJ days and I made and sent a wedding present). And just typing that is clear evidence of why I feel like fandom has shifted, because I don’t feel that same sense of community anymore. It’s more about content creation and consumption than the community.

For TG the author whose fics I am slowly working my way through reading are @film-in-my-soul and it's always a treat to curl up and read their fics. (There are also 100+ fics and I'm about 80% of the way through).

I am a chronic re-reader. Also a commenter who tries to leave long comments, which means I prefer to not read on my phone as typing comments becomes more difficult. So I will often re-read fics on my phone.

🧃 ⇢ share some personal lore you never posted about before

I don’t post personal stuff this blog because I chuck all the stuff over on main, where I am pretty much an open book. 😂 People with ten minutes and the motivation can find where I work.

I guess that fact that I came out as bisexual when I was 16 (mid 1990s) and my parents were both very laid-back about the whole thing. Despite being with my husband for 24 years I have had more female sexual partners than male. I told my best friend I loved her, and she had to reject me (we’re still best friends and were each other’s head bridesmaids at our respective weddings).

🍄 ⇢ share a head canon for one of your favourite ships or pairings

Apart from the fact that they all need therapy?

For Hangster, the headcanon is that they allow themselves to be soft with each other. It takes them years to get there, and these softer sides are never exposed to others, but they slowly get there. (And yes, this is exactly where OAA is going).

🪐 ⇢ name three good things going on in your life right now

Everyone in my family is currently well and healthy.

I’m in a job where I am valued and I enjoy coming to every day.

I am very content and settled and am in a good place most days.

🦷 ⇢ share some personal wisdom or a life hack you swear on

My mum, who has been dead nearly 17 years, was a LifeLine counsellor. She gave me a mug when I was 13-14 and it said:

"Today is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday"

I basically take from that to mean "don't be borrowing worry/trouble", and she also taught me to direct my worry towards action and things I COULD change.

I have many life hacks that work for me personally, however that's just me. My lists and dice rolling and getting people to tell me what fics I should write - it's all about making myself accountable to other people. That would backfire horribly for many others.

❄️ ⇢ what's your dream theme/plot for a fic, and who would write it best?

If I dream up a fic plot, it usually eats away at me until I write it myself. As in, I cannot settle mentally until it is out there on a screen or piece of paper. I've been writing fic for over 30+ years and as creative outlets go it's one of my favourites. Involves less swearing than patchwork quilting at least.

🦋 ⇢ share something that has been on your heart and mind lately 

My dad's is getting on in age and I am facing the very real reality that he will likely be gone in the next five years. I haven't needed my parents in decades, but neither am I ready to be parentless either. It always makes me sad knowing that my own children will never know my mother.

🦗 ⇢ add 50 words to your current wip and share the paragraph here

                “I...” Bradley starts, because he really does want the company right now, Natasha is off with Coyote, and she’d come if he called, but he doesn’t want to rain on her happiness. Not when there is no guarantee of any future right now, the bird strike and g-Loc incidents both really driving home how dangerous their jobs are.

(Jokes on you because I have 15+ WIPs and it’s anyone’s guess which one that’s from…😂)

Feel free to send in more - I'm using up my lunch break covering reception...