#also kinda feel like I shouldn't be venting abt fandom stuff when I'm not esp active but! I'm still in it!!

[birb-tangleblog]

🧂🗣️

“Cass is an Oh Cee, new character bad” is such a rancid take to me.

"OC" isn't (REALLY SHOULDN'T BE) derogatory.

Literally all characters are someone's original idea at one point... their original character. And for any show or big project, it doesn't reflect the feedback and contributions from other artists and writers that shape the character into what they become.

"Takes" like this blame everything bad about the show on Cass' inclusion and creation, and suggest that w/o her the writing would've been free of problems it had- usually paradoxically maintaining all other side chars, plot elements, and aesthetic choices the person opining liked.

Do you think Cass' arc is so poorly executed that you can't like her at all, even as a concept? Or are you big mad that she took up screentime that should've been 'given' to your fav or favs?

Be honest, but also- writing isn't a zero sum game!! The series' problems are much deeper than Cass' shoddy villain arc!!

Literally just say you hate her and move on.

And also, 1 more thing, b/c I've noticed these reads tend to go together- having this attitude towards Cass is honestly fundamentally incompatible w/ being a fan of 7Kay to me.

'Cass is a creator’s pet who stole the moonstone spotlight from my fav(s)... but D*sney totally should have greenlit this OC/Canon spinoff featuring the creators' pet blorbo and a bunch of other randos with nothing to do with the original!'

Like???

Ik I'm yelling at clouds in a tiny fandom but man...

[broodsys]

venting abt creative woes feel free to ignore <3

it has been really hard for me to post art, both drawing and writing. it's not just about engagement/lack thereof or abt concrit or about anything in particular. i just get so caught up in comparisons and breaking things down and wanting to be objectively "better" at it and idk if i'm even enjoying it anymore.

sometimes i think seriously about stopping? i'd still create but. just for me. idk.

and im having mixed feelings about fandom in general. idk. it's late at night and it's been dark for too many hours and ik that's putting me in A Mood(tm) but it's still been! hard! and i get sad and frustrated and self-conscious all the time

it just feels like im out here putting my ugly shit next to everyone's polished pretty pieces. and ik, ik, two cakes, i've been trying to internalize that, but it's hard right now. i cannot stop thinking about the pretty fics ive read and i cannot stop being so fucking envious of them and it feels gross! like i should just appreciate them? they're lovely, mine doesn't have to and shouldn't be a replica, etc etc, all these things i know intellectually, but... ugh.

and it's extra frustrating bc i know ppl like my stuff, esp my writing. they do! they've said it! ppl who have no cause to lie to me, strangers, etc. but i just can't feel it and im so... envy demon has a fucking hold of me lmao.

might be circling back to the going too fast/pushing myself too hard thing again. but i've just been dealing with the constant undercurrent of severe frustration with everything i attempt. i try to shake it off but idk, if it's this consistent...?

ugh. idk. i've been going back and forth on this for a while. do i push through? do i try to drop my standards? do i just keep all my stuff to myself? unknown.

like, no matter what im finishing my bigfic. for me. but idk. should i even bother posting it? it's not... it's not about engagement. it's about the fact that i feel like the whole thing is just kinda... an embarrassment? like i cannot stop looking at it thru the most critical, least compassionate version of a potential audience and it's fucking with me so bad. when im writing i enjoy it, i think it's cool, i think it's good. but then i post it and after a while im just so embarrassed. i still think it's good! but it's still also embarrassing! i've worked hard for years to learn to trust my audience, to not spoon-feed them every bit of information and then follow it up with a quick confirmation just to make sure they're getting it, but now i feel like i'm being drawn back into that.

i read it. i've reread it a few times, in fact, for pleasure and not for editing. i love it? but im also so embarrassed by it whenever im not like... actively reading it. it's just disheartening.

idk. it's my personal baggage more than anything ig.

anyway im genuinely not asking for my ego to be stroked here or w/e, just- this has been weighing kinda heavily on me for quite a while. it's very frustrating.