#also it's been five years since they met in the movie vs seven years in the book

[whoslaurapalmer]

laura (1944) / laura by vera caspary -- waldo and laura meet

bonus deleted scene from the movie script, with a third interpretation of their meeting --

[maya-matlin]

I love your takes on OTH and agree with nearly all of them! You and an anon had interesting thoughts on Julian and why he seems perfect on paper but was so meh in reality, and I laughed out loud when you pointed out that the writers radically changed his personality at least once or twice a season. I have a mutual who watched most of season six, skipped season seven, and was stunned when she tuned into season eight and was like ‘wait, since when is Julian the adorkable comic relief—-who is this?!’ I think for me I got a weird social climbing vibe from him, which would be annoying but understandable if we’d met him in high school but is a quality I find really off putting in adults. He’s obsessed with the so-called popular group of a high school he didn’t even attend and even says something gross (brulian fans fins it cute but no) after the first time he and Brooke have sex about now getting why she had been popular . He just seems to really care about popularity/social status and the fact that he himself was uncool in high school a decade ago and making a good impression in Hollywood and all that. I actually like that Lucas took an instant dislike to him because so did I!

Thank you! Yeah, Julian was an odd character. He's not a bad guy or even particularly irritating. It's just that the writers were unable to decide which personality to give him. So to begin with, Julian is this slick, underhanded guy who shows up in Tree Hill to make Lucas's movie while also fucking with Peyton. But once Lucas discovers Peyton's past with Julian, that goes away pretty quickly. They stuck with confident, almost worldly Julian when he first started hooking up with Brooke. Season 7 was kind of a mixture of season 6 Julian while also giving him more nerdy moments. Season 8 Julian wasn't even the same character. He couldn't do a simple high five. He did matching Halloween costumes with his mom. There were jokes sprinkled in about manly man Nathan who likes things like sports and beer vs Julian who is effeminate and knows how to pick out beautiful flower arrangements where it's clear who the butt of the joke is supposed to be. In season 9, they tried and failed to make Julian a darker, edgier character by having him go through a self destructive phase after leaving his son in the hot car. There's no actual coherency to his personality or character development. He's almost completely defined by being Brooke's love interest and to some degree, an awkward replacement for Lucas who doesn't quite fit in. It's to the point that Mark Schwahn apparently wanted to rip off the Dawson's Creek finale so badly that they once again decided to "go meta" by having Julian create a tv series about Lucas's book after they'd already done the same story line with the aborted movie back in season 6. Naturally, Julian writes himself into the series, stealing away Lucas's winning shot at the state championship and being the one to make the sex tape with Brooke.

That's an interesting take that I can't entirely disagree with. It's so fucking weird that the Julian we met in season 6 would ever care about this random group of high schoolers from a small town. We're invested because we've been watching their story lines since the first season, but you'd think Julian would have grown beyond trying to fit in with the popular kids and had met and bonded with his own "people" back in LA. I realize Julian being a regular required him to eventually mingle with Brooke's friend group, but it could have been done in a much more casual way. Oof, yeah. Brooke had tried so hard to define herself by things unrelated to sex and looks back on her sexual history during her teenage years as something.. not quite shameful, but also not something she's proud of. It wasn't the right thing to say at that moment, and if Julian read Lucas's book he would have known there was much more depth to Brooke than that. While I don't personally dislike Julian, I do think he was kind of desperate to fit in and receive validation from the popular kids. Again, I struggle to understand why he wanted validation specifically from the OTH characters considering he was already working in Hollywood when we met him. Julian Baker was basically two different characters awkwardly smashed together. I like him well enough, but in all honesty he's carried by the fact that he isn't Lucas. Lucas is so flawed and indecisive for most of the series that even though he's a far more dynamic and consistently written character, his massive lows make it easy to forget his highs.

[carladuquette]

I was tagged by @dragonsoftheeast. Thank you, this was really fun!

1. What is your AO3 account?

CarlaDuquette. And yes, Carla is my real, actual first name.

2. How many words did you write total in 2022?

Ok, so here's the problem: Since I already updated Close your eyes, count to ten this year, AO3 doesn't count it for 2022. At least the fic doesn't show up in my stats for 2022, so I'm assuming that means none of the words I wrote for it figure into the word count either. Which means there's a lot missing. But then it counts all the words of fics I started in 2021 and wrote just one chapter of in 2022, so…

As it stands, according to AO3 I wrote 65,384 words in 2022. (For reference, it claims I wrote 168,090 in the seven days of 2023 so far, because it counts all of Close your eyes, lol.)

3. How many fics did you publish in 2022? How many multichapters vs oneshots?

I continuously updated one long-running fic and added to two oneshot collections that I started before 2022. I published five new stories in 2022, three of which were oneshots and two were multi-chapters. All of them were in the Elite (Spanish Netflix teen drama) fandom, except for one Casa di Papel oneshot.

4. What was your longest fic? Your shortest fic?

My longest fic was Close your eyes (unsurprisingly, considering that it's still ongoing after 2+ years), a Lu-centric future fic and my first foray into fanfiction writing. If we go by fics I started and finished in 2022, it's there goes Princeton, a pre-canon Lu-Guzman teen pregnancy/abortion fic. The shortest was Joy to the World, an AU… Christmas fic? Or more accurately a heartbreak AU Lu/Valerio oneshot.

5. What was your most popular fic? Your least popular fic?

My most popular fic by hits that I started and finished in 2022 was there goes Princeton. Least popular by hits was 12 points go to… in which some of the Elite kids watch the Eurovision Song Contest.

6. What fic didn’t perform as well as you thought it would?

"Perform" sounds weird and is pretty vague. I'll take it to mean comments, because that is what makes me the happiest. Based on that, I'd say I put a spell on you, a retelling of the movie Hocus Pocus with Carla/Samuel as the leads. Some people commented on the first chapter, but all but one dropped off after that. Not the end of the world, since I enjoyed writing it tremendously, haha. But of course it's always a little sad to see that you're basically just writing for yourself (one of the reasons why there aren't many OG Elite fics anymore, I'd venture).

7. What fic performed way better than you thought it would?

Missing her is like trying to know somebody you never met. It was the first (and so far only) fic I ever wrote outside of the Elite fandom, centering on my favorite Casa di Papel/ Money Heist character: Nairobi. I didn't really expect it to reach people, since there isn't an active ship in it and Helsinki is the only show character that actively appears in it. But it got several really kind comments, which made me happy 😊

8. What was your favorite fic you wrote from 2022?

Ooof. I mean, I'd have to say Close your eyes. But outside of that… Probably there goes Princeton. I'm proud of the character work in it, and of the Lu/Guzman relationship. But it had also been on my mind for a WHILE before I finally wrote it down, something I've always wanted to work on. I'm firmly pro-choice, and it's an issue really close to my heart, and I think I managed to tell a story where that comes through without overpowering the characters' journey.

9. What was your favorite fic that somebody else wrote in 2022?

So many options! I really enjoyed the Casa di Papel fic Un Buen Dia (currently on hiatus, I think) by queen of Nairobi fics AndraB74. On the rare occasion that @cupcakeb still writes Lu/Rebe, I'm there – last year it was her great "sort of canon compliant" fic hate to be lame. And the Archie/Veronica masterpiece hymn for the missing by @andsmile (10,000x better than the disaster of a show these two are on)

10. Tag your friends to do this year-end fic review as well!

Any fanfic writers, consider yourself tagged! Additionally I tag @booksandabeer @cupcakeb @lavandulacosmos @carlarosonn (you write fanfic, right? if not just disregard lol) @voidstilesplease @andsmile @theimprobabledreamersworld

[brooklynislandgirl]

{you know the meme}

The ficus stares him in the face with a thousand years of dread judgment.

It knows.

“I said I wasn’t gonna,” he mutters in its general direction.

Had been a thought, but once it was assured that this was, in fact, a real plant…well, it’s just immensely thoughtless to go pissing on plants. Probably worse if they’re potted, even if he can’t say why that would be, it’s not like unpotted {is that even a term…} ones are capable of getting up and moving either. No, it’s just a bad thing all together, pissing on plants.

But it’s also a bad thing to have to explain to Beth when she gets out of the shower that the police are at the hotel because there may or may not have been an incident involving indecent exposure and-his train of thought temporarily stalls on the tracks at wondering what sort of exposure was decent. Legally. If there’s indecent, that implies there is the opposite, decent.

“Prob'ly strippers.”

He’s muttered this to the plant again, with a noncommittal shrug, as though the plant may have a better idea it can suggest. If it does, it does not share it with him. But then, he wouldn’t share it either if he knew the plant had been intending to pee on him, so it’s acceptable.

He also might be slightly more drunk than usual. Not that things like conversing with plants and wondering about decent vs indecent exposures is irregular for him. Particularly not when alone, and that he is. Save for the plant.

Technically, Beth is here too, but the suite really is rather large, and she’s in the bathroom. That makes it feel like being in a house when someone else is in another room. He’s functionally alone.

Well, no…no, there is another very active presence, and though it indeed be haunting, it isn’t that sort of Presence. It’s the immense mistake of not realizing he had to pee before Beth left, then making it worse by trying not to fixate on this mistake after she had. He is rather horrible at doing the opposite of fixating on literally anything while trying not to do exactly that, it’s a bit of a promise that he is going to fail spectacularly…and he is.

Additionally, he is intoxicated enough to officially be on Drunk Time, and Drunk Time is like no other expanse of time. It might have been five minutes or two hours or yesterday that she left. He is only certain that this span of time has included having a cigarette, contemplating the plant, contemplating hitting unfortunate human targets below the balcony, talking to the plant, and continuing to drink. Just a little bit. It was obviously necessary, to…pass the time.

It hasn’t helped to pass the time, only to make the issue more present, and with the plant giving no new ideas, there truly is only one.

So, he’s at the bathroom door, and wondering why the fuck it is that he isn’t alright with simply going on a stealth mission here. Really, it’s extremely possible, in his mind and only his mind, that he’d get away with it. And…he…just can’t. At least this sort of ridiculous behavior, and the combined honesty and respect for her that tends to drive it, means that he isn’t at all lying when he comes tentatively creeping through the steam. Eyes closed, mouth open and going.

“Sorry, Beth, swear I ain’t lookin’ an not even like, listenin’ close. Just really, serious'ly gonna die if I don’t piss ‘mediately, an not inna plant, talked to the plant, it agrees that’s not cool.”

~*~

Squeaky Clean || -

Presenting a paper to the medical community, and in particular members of the CDC, on infectious diseases suffered by indigent people especially in areas where hurricanes decimate resources, fresh water, and shelter… is a rewarding and somewhat terrifying prospect. Beth knows very well how to speak properly in social circles the likes of which she might compare to a feeding frenzy of various shark slews, and academically she has a reputation for being a thoughtful and respected voice for the less fortunate. It is one of the things she takes pride in, actually making a difference where the Admiral only pretends to. He practices a very different kind of medicine, and belongs to a world that Beth has never been comfortable in, doesn’t want to be a part of, and refuses at every opportunity. The old man would be utterly appalled that not only had she taken in a 'young wastrel’ which is the politest thing he would say about Anakin, but gave him a job, a stable roof, was determined to see him be better off than his current situation would allow. Or that she’d drag him along on this trip, booking a single suite for them both. But truth be told, there’s more to it than appearances would suggest.

She doesn’t even know if Anakin himself really understands. Beth hates flying. She had never done very well with heights, something she’d learned as a kid when she tried practising cliff-diving. The air plane ride to the mainland when she was sixteen had been a nightmare and she’d been sick the entire ten hour, non-stop flight from O'ahu to JFK airport, in New York. He tried books, he tried singing to her, he’d tried music and in flight movies, he tried medicating her with drinks. Eventually he could do nothing but hold back her hair as she continuously expelled all of her stomach contents, rubbed her back when it was nothing but dry-heaving. Eventually, she simply curled up in her seat and leaned into him, too exhausted to be okay, too terrified to sleep. He rubbed small circles against her back and promised she never had to fly again. And then he ran off to join the Air Force, and jumped out of planes for a living. That was something about her brother that Beth could never understand even if he could have explained it to her.  She had sat on the lanai, trying to decide if she was brave enough to chance the Louis Armstrong airport ~ ~ “MSY.” Anakin’s grin had sprawled slowly across his lips and his head had dipped down, though she had been certain it was to watch Bug nap in a sunbeam.

Or to take a chance on one of the family’s private planes over at Metairie~

~"Metry...on the Big Ass Lake.” She hadn’t been sure if that was Anakin’s specific drawl or if she’d simply been mispronouncing that word the entire time she’s been here {which, honestly was more likely} because it looked like Met-prairie to her.

But even on the sofa, even with him reading his book ~a dog-eared and margin-notation copy of Ovid’s Metamorphosis~ on the opposite side of it, feet buried under her leg, she hadn’t been able to bring herself to book the flight.

Instead, she’d looked over, a little green around the gills, and in a surprisingly tremulous voice, she’d asked him if he’d be okay going on a road trip with her. After all, it was only a seven to eight hour drive, including stops to stretch, use the facilities, and food. She added to that the fact that she’d feel safer driving through that bit of Mississippi and almost diagonally across Alabama just to get there, if he would be willing to escort her.

There’d been discussion about what to do with Bug, and what not to do, which largely consisted of Anakin not really wanting to leave him on his lonesome and Beth arranging for the nurses to take turns {and hazard pay} to ensure meal times were kept to their schedule, and their housekeeper to ensure companionship and play time. And of course the discussion he had with Bug which she was politely not privy too, but she would have given anything to actually have heard even snippets of conversation.

And now, a few days later, here they are.

The humidity and heat in Atlanta is very different from that of New Orleans, which in Beth’s mind is more like home, where here it’s...sticky. A thin film of sweat has been clinging to her since their arrival in the wee hours when by all rights it should have been cooler at the very least. Because of the conference, she’d had to book them a single suite and though she’d apologise profusely, she didn’t think Anakin was very heart-broken about it. The air conditioner in the room had been running and it wasn’t so bad when they’d finally set their bags down.

Beth ordered breakfast from room service, had given Anakin that look, and like the rumoured pirates in her ancestry {sea-wooves, she called them not recognising her mispronunciation} had plundered the full bar. Miniatures were things one gave away to adults come Halloween, and full-size bottles were specifically requested. So it was drinks on the balcony and pastries, fluffy omelettes, and a very sudden urge to sleep.

She’d pressed a strawberry and Merlot kiss to his forehead and had only enough grace to fall onto her side of of the king bed, clothes and all. Which didn’t really help the situation. She also didn’t know how long Anakin had stayed up and what he’d consumed during that time. The moral of the story being she needs this shower. And there’s enough trust and enough love between them that she doesn’t think twice about leaving the door slightly ajar in case he needs the facilities. And maybe she stays in a little too long, letting the near volcanic temperature of the water ease away at her muscles in a haze of tropical scented soap, shampoo, conditioner.

She didn’t know that the ficus was a traitor. Or a victim. Or that it would eventually be going home with them.

She finds herself grinning when he makes his apologies and his platitudes.  “...’S’fine, really. I trus’ you an’ besides...I promise no have any kine ya nevah seen before. Because we’re ‘way from home, an’ sleepers...all ovah da place here. Worse dan haole summers back home, worse dan deer tick. An’ maybe ya plant wiser dan all of dem put togeddah.”  She hates that she’s suddenly become an Awakened psa, a reminder that they have to be on their best behaviour and any magick has to be disguised under the auspices of coincidence.

“Still got an eternity of hot waddah if ya wanna come in an’ grab a shower f’ yaself. But I’ll knife fight ya ovah dis loofah.”

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[elisajdb]

Family Album: IV

Son Family Week 2019: @sonfamilyweek

Goten Day (5/10)

Characters: Goten

Prompt: Twins

“What’s going on?” Goten approached his parents who were very cozy with each other. He jumped between them wanting to share in the affection. Goten settled on Goku’s lap, giggling as his father squeezed him.

 “I’m finishing the family album.” Chichi turned the album to a blank page. “Your Dad and brother have been helping me. Once we finish, we’ll leave for dinner.”

 Goku took the remaining pictures out of the box and spread them out. Most of the pictures left were taken after his second revival. There were a few he didn’t recognize since they were taken after his death.

 Goten studied the pictures. Though the ones taken after his father came back to life were his favorite, there were some he like during his first seven years. “I remember this one.” Goten reached for a picture. “Mom, Gohan and I went to a museum where there were pictures of you.”

 “Me?” Goku knew of only one place that held pictures of him but he looked at the picture to be sure. Chichi, Gohan and Goten stood before a large portrait of Goku fighting Jackie Chun. “You three went to the Tournament Museum on Papaya Island?”

 “When Goten was five,” Gohan returned to the room, “I mentioned going to the museum as a kid.” Gohan ruffled his brother’s head. “After that, Goten wouldn’t stop begging to go.”

 “Mom didn’t want to,” Goten added. “Something about Mr. Satan.”

 Goku and Gohan knew her reasons but for Goten to understand, Chichi only said, “Mr. Satan has made his money taking credit for something he didn’t do. I didn’t want to see it on full display. Also, some of the memories I made there were difficult to handle at the time.”

 “I convinced Mom we can go during the off season for tourists to Papaya Island,” Gohan added.

 “I see,” Goku understood Chichi’s reluctance to go back to Papaya Island. Besides him being dead a second time, the last time they went it was a week before his death during his fight with Raditz. “Did you enjoy it, Goten? The Shrine of Fighters was my favorite thing to see.”

 Goten nodded excited. “I like that, too! Especially the shrine dedicated to you, Dad.”

Papaya Island was not like Mount Paouz. Goten’s home in the mountains was quiet, the air smelled fresher, the water tasted cleaner and there weren’t a lot of people. Goten’s nearest neighbor was over five miles. Here, people were everywhere. Goten hadn’t seen this many people except in West City visiting Trunks. It was a little scary to the five-year-old from the country.

 Goten squeezed his mother’s hand. “It’s so crowded, Momma.”

 “Don’t worry, Goten,” Chichi assured him with a warm smile. “It’s safe and we’re almost at the museum.”

 Their hotel was only a mile away so the three walked. When they reached the tournament arena, Goten nerves eased since there weren’t many people in line. Gohan was right. There were less people visiting now in the offseason. It wasn’t a long wait for the three to purchase their tickets and venture to the tournament grounds.

 “It’s very different than when we were here, Gohan.” Chichi was annoyed as she read the pamphlet. “When we went, we were allowed to go everywhere. We could visit the competition halls, the mess hall and even the main arena. Now all that is closed off.”

 Goten didn’t like to hear that. He saw the pictures taken when his mother, father and brother visited years ago. He wanted to tour those areas, too. “Can we still see the Shrine of Fighters, Momma?” Goten asked. “I wanna see Daddy’s shrine.”

 Gohan read over his tour pamphlet. “Looks like it’s the only thing we can do.”

 Goten held his mother’s hand as they walked to the Shrine of Fighters. When they entered, there were lines to different areas of the shrine. Goten noticed his mother said nothing to the line of people entering the portion of the shrine dedicated to tournaments before his Dad competed but when she saw there was a shrine dedicated to Mr. Satan, the line was long and there wasn’t a line leading to the Shrine of Goku, his mother was infuriated. “Disgusting! How pitiful.”

 Goten wondered why his mother became angry whenever Mr. Satan’s name was mentioned. When he asked his brother about it, Gohan would smile and say, “Mom doesn’t like it when people take credit for other people’s hard work and sacrifices.” Gohan never explained what their mother meant.

 Goten shrugged. Maybe one day he’ll understand.

 Goten awed at the portraits on display in the Shrine of Goku. Goten’s seen pictures of his father but those were in photo albums and frames on the wall. These portraits were life size and taken when Goku competed at the tournament.

 “Wow, Momma!” Goten released his mother’s hand as he rushed to a portrait of Goku vs Giran. “Daddy was small like me when he fought that big dinosaur.”

 “Yes,” Chichi’s eyes were only on her late husband. “He fought a lot of people bigger than him.”

 Staring at the pictures of his father against Giran, Nam and Jackie Chun, Goten thought about himself. If his father was strong at a young age and so small, then perhaps he could be really strong, too. As he contemplated this, a group of seven entered the shrine. Goten would’ve ignored them except he noticed the tall man of the group staring at Goten. Goten looked at himself wondering if he had food stains on his clothes but found nothing. While the group with him looked at the photos, the man kept his eyes on Goten. It was uncomfortable to the child to be stared at especially by a stranger.

 Goten felt a tug of his hand and his mother saying, “Come on, Goten.”

 Goten followed his mother and brother to the area where photos of the 22nd tournament were on display. Goten loved seeing the pictures of his father. Even though the photos on display were screenshots of fights, Goten was happy to see glimpses of his father’s fighting prowess in action after hearing so many stories about him from his mother and brother.

 Everyone in his family could fight except him. Some mornings Goten would see his brother sparring alone in the yard. For Gohan, he did it to keep in shape and not to get stronger. Goten asked his brother if he will teach him how to fight but each time he asked, his brother would get a weird look on his face. He looked very sad when he turned him down.

 “You don’t need to learn how to fight, Goten,” Gohan would tell him. “It may look fun seeing me spar outside but it’s not as fun as you think. Fighting has consequences.”

 Since his brother turned him down, Goten considered asking his mother. She was strong and was a former fighter, too, but Goten overheard stories how his parents argued over Gohan fighting. He thought if he asked his mother will say no.

 “I wish I saw Dad and Krillin fight,” Gohan remarked with a laugh. He stood in front of the photos showing highlights of their fight. “They both studied under Master Roshi and that time was probably the closest Krillin will have gotten to beating Dad.”

 “No,” Chichi disagreed. “Your Dad played with Krillin throughout that fight. He could’ve ended it sooner but he wanted to see how much stronger Krillin got. Your Dad only got serious when he was in the final match.”

 While staring at pictures of Goku fighting Krillin, Goten felt he was being watched again. He turned his head. It was the same man from earlier. Why was he looking at him? It was unnerving. Goten’s eyes widen in fear when he saw the man talk to the group with him. Suddenly, they all were looking at him.

 Goten moved closer to his mother when he saw the group coming to them. “Momma.” Goten grabbed the skirts of his mother’s dress and hid behind her. His mother looked at him confused before turning to the approaching group. Goten was scared but he was also mad at himself. If he knew how to fight, he could get in front of his mother. If these people approaching were bad, he could protect her and not hide behind her skirt.

 “Hello.” Chichi kept a hand on Goten while talking to the group. Gohan stepped closer to Chichi.  

 A man pointed at Goten. “I’m sorry if we scared him but I noticed that little boy behind you looks like Son Goku.” He pointed to the photo of Goku on the wall. “Is he a relative?”

 “This is his son, Son Goten.” Chichi touched Gohan’s arm. “His oldest son, Son Gohan. I’m his widow, Son Chichi. Who are you?”

 “Oh,” the man was crestfallen at the news Son Goku had passed. The man knelt to Goten and smiled kindly at him. “I’m Koji. I saw your Daddy at each of these tournaments. He was the best fighter I’ve ever seen.”

 Goten stepped away from his mother’s skirt. “Really?”

 Koji nodded. “Yes. The fight with him and Jackie Chun was the most amazing fight I’ve seen. When he turned into a giant ape, I was blown away! It was awesome! I didn’t know martial artists could trained themselves to transform into animals! I would’ve changed into a lion or dinosaur but the giant ape was cool, too.”

 “Giant ape?” Goten frowned. What was this man talking about? “Are you sure you’re talking about my Daddy?”

 “Mr. Koji is mistaken, Goten. I think he’s confused with a martial arts fight he saw in a movie.” Chichi pointed to Goten and shook her head at Koji.

 “Oh!” Koji caught on. “Right. I’m so sorry! It was a movie I saw. Your Daddy couldn’t transform into a giant ape. That’s for TV shows and movies.” Koji was glad Goten grinned at him, thinking he made an error. “After that tournament, I came to the next two because I knew your Daddy will compete. I have to say the last one your Daddy competed in is my favorite.” Koji stood with his group. A woman and five kids. “I met my wife at the 23rd tournament.”

 “Oooo! Momma and Daddy met again at that tournament, too!” Goten shared with Koji. “After Daddy won, he ran off to marry Momma!”

 “Your mother is an amazing fighter.” Koji laughed. “She had your Daddy running around the ring. She was fearless. I thought she could’ve beat him.”

 Goten gasped. He looked up at his mother eyes wide and mouth open. He knew his mother was strong but he had no idea she was that strong. Gohan always told him Daddy was the greatest fighter in the universe. If his mother almost beat him in a fight, how strong was she? Why didn’t Gohan tell him?

 Koji laughed at Goten’s astonishment at his mother. “You are your Daddy’s twin. It’s amazing how much you look like him. I know you’re young but are you taking martial arts classes?” Goten shook his head. He didn’t hide his disappointment. “Oh, well I’m sure there’s a good reason. Would be nice if we can get some real martial artists competing again instead of that fool Mr. Satan. I don’t care what he says. I don’t believe he killed Cell. If it was anyone, it was…..” Koji caught himself in midsentence. He understood why Son Goku was dead. “I’m so sorry. I had no idea.” Goten noticed Koji looked at his mother. “Why haven’t you said anything? The world should be praising a real hero. Not a charlatan.”

 Goten looked from his mother to Mr. Koji. What was he talking about?

 “It’s the price I pay for privacy and peace, Mr. Koji.”

 Goten frowned. What did that mean? Goten looked at his brother. Did he know? Gohan had that weird sad face again. He probably did know and when he looked like that, he didn’t tell Goten anything. Goten resigned himself to not knowing right now. Maybe someday he’ll understand.

 Mr. Koji did. “It’s not much but let me show my gratitude. Let my family treat yours to dinner.”

 Dinner? Goten like that offer but seeing his mother’s face, Goten knew she will turn him down. “That’s kind of you but my sons eat like their father. It will be a very high bill.”

 Koji grinned. “Oh, I know all about that. My father owns Delicious Saikan. Your husband cleaned us out every time he visited! If we can’t treat the family of the man who saved us all, we don’t deserve to be in business. Please,” Koji insisted, “have dinner with us.”

 Goten was very happy his mother accepted Koji’s invitation. It turned into a fun night with Koji sharing more stories of his experiences at the tournaments Goku competed in. In turn, Chichi shared a few stories about Goku.

 That evening, Chichi, Gohan and Goten returned to their hotel. While Gohan took a shower, Chichi helped Goten undressed. He was next to clean up. “Did you have fun today, Goten?”

 “Yeah.” This was a really good day. “I love seeing Daddy’s shrine and talking to Mr. Koji and his family.”

 “They are good people.”

 “Momma, can you teach me how to fight?” In the past Goten was reluctant to ask his mother but hearing how much he looked like his Daddy from Mr. Koji and his polite nudge he should learn martial arts, Goten decided to take a chance and ask his mother.  “I really wanna learn.”

 “Why do you want to fight, Goten?”

 Goten expected his mother to say no but this question was encouraging. “Well, I wanna be strong like Daddy. I wanna be able to protect you.”

 “Protect me?”

 “I was scared when Mr. Koji and his family came over. I hid behind you instead of standing in front of you. Daddy wouldn’t have done that. Please, Momma.” Goten begged. “Will you teach me?”

 The longer his mother delayed answering the stronger the feeling became his mother will say no. Goten’s hopes sank. He wondered if he will ever learn how to fight.

 “If you don’t mind having a stern teacher,” Chichi smiled at him, “I’ll be happy to teach you, Goten.”

 “Yeah!” Goten pumped his fist in the air and threw his arms around his mother in a fierce hug. “Thank you, Momma!”

 “What are you doing with the camera, Goten?” Gohan stood in front of his mirror tying his tie. From his view in the mirror, he noticed Goten sitting on the bed playing with the family camera.

 “I wanna take another family picture,” Goten explained. “You have a lot of pictures with Mom and Dad. I don’t. I wanna catch up.”

 “Boys!” Chichi called. “Are you ready? It’s time to go!”

 Gohan held the door open for his little brother. “Well, we can catch up before we go.” Goten and Gohan left their room and found their parents waiting for them in the kitchen.

 Goku sat at the kitchen table munching on apples from the fruit bowl. Chichi stood in the doorway shaking her head at her husband. “Goku, we’re getting ready to leave. You’re acting like you’re starving.”

 “I am,” Goku whined. “That snack we had earlier wasn’t filling.”

 “Wow, Mom.” Gohan stepped in the kitchen. His mother looked stunning in a white, halter dress. “Where did you get that dress?” It was a pretty dress but the way it showed off his mother’s arms and back, it was not an outfit Gohan was used to his mother wearing.

 “Something in the closet. I had it for years and…..” Chichi looked slyly at Goku who grinned while munching on another apple. “I tried it on earlier, saw that it still fits and thought if I clean it, it will be perfect for tonight.”

 Goten stepped to his mother and held the camera to her. “Can we take a picture before we go? We can add it to the album.”

 “Sure.” Chichi handed Goku the camera. He liked playing with it. It was the same mobile camera gifted to them from Gyu-Mao after Goku returned to life. Goku and Chichi had fun with this camera when their sons spent a few days with their grandpa. Now that she thought about it, Chichi thought she and Goku should do it again.

 “All right. It’s set.”

 The camera hovered in the air with the timer winding down as the Son family got in position. Chichi stood between Goku and Gohan while Goten stood in front of her. The family of four smiled as the camera captured another photo Chichi will add to the family album.

[purplesurveys]

474

Tumblr makes the spacing kinda weird by the end, idk why but I hope it gets better for everyone else who wants to take this haha.

ONE - HI THERE! It’s an intro!

What do most people call you? Robyn. In what month is your birthday? April. What country were you born in? The beautiful but politically miserable Philippines. Do you have siblings? How many, if you do? I do; I have two. I’m the eldest, but they aren’t that far off from me. Who do you live with? I’m still studying so I’m living with family for now – mom and dad, a sister and a brother, and a dog. I really want to move out in the next couple of years though.

Are you in a relationship? Yes. Do you go to school? As I said, yes. I’m in university but I’m supposed to graduate next year. What mood are you in right now? Well, I wrapped up my internship last week and my entire weekend was booked with stuff I did, so now I’m just super glad to be home and bum around after all that hectic-ness. I just had 8 hours of sleep and am feeling pretty well-rested right now. What does your shirt look like? I’m wearing a big-ass gray Knicks sweater that’s like 3 sizes bigger for me. What’s your zodiac sign? Taurus.

TWO - Your Appearance

If you could have plastic surgery on any one body part, what would it be?Boobs. They’re so abnormally small that I’m tired of having to waste what would have been completely bomb outfits just because of my chest.

Are you satisfied with your hair? It could have less baby hair, honestly. But I’m fine with it for the most part.

Do you have a hitchhikers or a straight thumb? It’s a straight thumb. My left pinky is quite crooked though.

What colour are your eyes? Dark brown.

Do you have any tan lines? No, I haven’t gone to the beach in a while.

How old do people usually think you are? I just asked this question to Gabie last week and she said that I look 15.

What about your appearance do you get complimented on the most? Face and my overall figure.

Are you comfortable with your weight? Sure, but it’s always worrisome when I get to the lower 90s.

Do you have any piercings or tattoos? Where? Yeah, just the basic earlobes piercings that my parents got for me when I was a couple of months old.

How tall are you? I am 5′1″ and a half. I’m shorter than 5′2″, that’s for sure.

THREE - True or False

I love winter. Neither true or false as I have never experienced snow. I think I’d love it though.

I have eaten meat in the past five days. True. Filipinos eat meat a lot.

I have painted a room in a house. False. My mom is so controlling over adult things like that so she hired people to do it to all our rooms.

I can whistle. True. I learned pretty early.

My keyboard is black. True-ish? The buttons are black, but the spaces between them are silver.

I have never bought something off an infomercial. True. My mom would be so furious because it would be her money anyway.

I own a snuggie / would like to own a snuggie. False.

I bite my pens / pencils. False. I do bite my straws though.

I wear glasses / contacts. True.

My nails are painted right now. False.

FOUR - Childhood Memories!

What was your all time favourite movie as a kid? THE GAME PLAN, without a shadow of a doubt. Watched that shit everyday through third and fourth grade. My runner-up would be High School Musical.

Do you still have your first pair of shoes somewhere? Doubt it. My mom isn’t big on memories like me.

Did you have anything you always dragged around the house, like a blanket?Nope. I did use my parents’ blanket as a cape some days, and other days it would be a gown train and I’d pretend I was the Queen, but I wouldn’t drag it because it would get dirty.

What toy did you play with the most? I was always into grownup stuff so I always got kitchen appliances, dollhouses, etc. I once had toys that mimicked a pizza restaurant and it had a pizza roller and it was super fun for me haha. Once I got a pretend cash register though it was game over for all these bitches.

Did you ever bring your favourite toys in the bathtub? We didn’t have a bathtub, but yeah we would bring in our toys when we would shower.

Did you used to take baths with siblings/cousins? ^ Ooh, barely missed it. Yes, we did.

Are you still friends with your best friends from long ago? A handful are still my best friends. I keep in touch with most of my batchmates from my high school because we’re all close and we’re family and there was generally very little drama – and if there was, it was easy to let go.

Do your parents ever tell you stories about how cute/silly you were? They have several stories, but I was mostly a quiet kid who didn’t like getting in trouble.

Did you go to the park often? What was a typical outfit for the 5-year-old you?Blouses with a girly pattern, denim jeans, and Nike rubber shoes. The top always has to be tucked in.

FIVE - FAVOURITES

Actor/Actress: Kate Winslet

Singer/Band/Both: Beyonce / Paramore

Chocolate: Reese’s

Toothpaste: ??? Whatever we have at home I guess?

Picture of yourself: Nah man, not doing that here.

Pair of sunglasses: I don’t have a favorite.

Vegetable: Broccoli!

Sandwich: Monte Cristo

Aspect of nature: Waterfalls

Word to say: “Literally”

SIX - Love Life ;)

Who was the first person to ever ask you out? No one’s ever asked me out before. Although I think that dude from one of my classes in sophomore year intended to…but I dunno. We were paired up together for this class and he wanted to spend time with me in a coffee shop after our work was done; I didn’t feel comfortable just being by myself so I told him in advance that I was gonna be bringing Gabie…never heard from him ever again :/

What does your ideal date consist of? Dinner somewhere nice (Italian or Japanese) should be enough for me.

What’s one thing your partner must be able to accept about you? I get sad and I’ll need loooooooong stretches of time alone some days.

Does your ideal person have any special talents? She can paint and draw. She doesn’t really share these with other people but she does with me.

Do your parents like the person you’re with? (Or the last person) My parents liked Mike and were convinced something was happening between us lmao. They don’t know about my relationship with Gabie yet.

Do you like pet names? Yes when it’s just the two of us. Publicly, I control myself, cos I know it annoys me when other people are too showy/vocal. Like I don’t call Gab pet names when we’re out with friends; and when we’re out at the mall or whatever, I’m not very physical other than holding her hand.

What is your age range? Same age. I can’t imagine dating someone younger or older, but then again this is because I haven’t had any other experience.

What is one attribute that your ideal partner must have? Sincerity.

When was the last time someone seriously said “I love you.” to you? This morning.

Have you ever been in more than one relationship at a time? No.

SEVEN - The wonderful world of the Internet!

What is your most used website? Probably Twitter. It’s the first thing I check everyday.

Do you play any online games? Other than playing on Y8 when I was younger, no.

Which chat program do you use most often? Messenger.

Facebook vs Myspace- which is better? I haven’t used Myspace in a hot minute, so I’ll go with Facebook.

Is there someone you met online that you’d like to meet in person? Yes, I’m still waiting to meet Aliyah. Girl is in BGC every single day but I can’t seem to grab lunch or dinner with her!

Have you ever sold something on Ebay or Craigslist? No.

Have you ever gone on Chatroulette? Or Omegle video? Yeah, when I was like 12 and curious about the Internet haha.

Are there any videos of yourself on Youtube? I don’t think so.

Mac or PC? Mac.

Have you ever Googled your name? I’ve Googled my username before, but not my name.

EIGHT - This or That?

Twilight or Harry Potter?

French fries or potato wedges?

Liquid ortape white out?

Digital or film camera?

Nail clippersor nail scissors?

Rock, paper, or scissors?

Beard or mustache?

Knee high or ankle socks?

Hockey or basketball?

Mr Clean or sponge and ‘the other leading cleaning product’?

NINE - Be cool, stay in school!

What subject are/were you best at? It’s always history, or social studies in general.

How old will you be when you graduate high school / how old were you? I was 18 when I graduated.

Isn’t there that point in the year when you stop caring so much? Yep, it’s usually when you’re a senior.

Do/did you have any really cool teachers? In UP? Absolutely. There’s a lot of shitty profs, but the cool ones are way too hardcore.

Who is/was your most strict teacher? Sir Ruel in my old school. Old man was and is such a fucking loser. Once had a comment about my breasts and I never forgot about it. Also kicked me and a bunch of other kids out of his class in fifth grade because we didn’t have crayons. He actually got booted by the school for a year because a parent complained about him, but he came back after.

Where do/did you sit at lunch? In high school, the cafeteria was too crowded so my friend group would hang out in our classroom, since most of us were classmates. Right now, lunch just depends on my schedule and where I happen to be by noon.

What do/did you do at recess? Catch up on homework I skipped the night before.

There’s always that one kid who no one really knows, right? LOL, yes.

Is/was your cafeterias food actually any good? It used to be good. Then they kind of hired this company to start making the meals starting junior year and the food was never as good again.

Do/did you have a stereotypical school, with all those cliques and such? You can say that. We had popular party kids, smart but still cool kids, soccer players, the basketball players who all turned out gay, kids who kinda just hovered in the middle, and those who were kinda brushed to the side were the theatre and anime kids.

TEN - Randomly Platypus.

Do you like your toothbrush really wet when you’re brushing your teeth? Not really wet. I just make sure I’ve put it under the running water before applying the toothpaste.

What song are you currently obsessed with? Not into anything at the moment.

What was the stupidest dare you’ve ever done? I hate dares, so I don’t do them haha.

Do you enjoy playing with tape? No?

What’s one word/phrase you say too much? LITERALLY. Which is a problem because most of the time, the things I associate the word with aren’t literal.

When was the last time you went trick-or-treating? 2017.

What did you last use a knife for? Haha, my orgmates were cooking up lunch and I volunteered to chop up the onions. Fun fact: First time to use a knife, ever.

When you open a pack of gum, why is everyone your best friend? Because gum is always a good idea.

What has been on your mind way too much? Completing my requirements for internship so I can submit them as early as possible.

Did you actually enjoy my survey? Sure. Categories are always fun.

[metalandmagi]

October Media Madness!

It’s the last day of the month, so you know what that means! What-no not Halloween! It’s time to see how one person wasted their time this month by keeping track of all the media they consumed! And if you thought October would mean a lot of horror movies and books and TV shows...you are going to be very disappointed because I’m a fucking wimp who hates horror.

September media

Movies!

Scott Pilgrim vs. the World: Scott Pilgrim, aka the most intentionally unlikable protagonist ever, has to defeat the seven evil ex-boy...uh I mean exes of the cool girl he’s dating. Yeah, I’m super late to the Edgar Wright party, but since this movie was finally available on Netflix I figured it was time. And it’s pretty good aside from the fact that Scott is the worst. But at least he owns up to it in the end. It’s crazy over the top ridiculous, has tons of little details that film theorists love to salivate over, and Scott’s roommate Wallace is hilarious. I just wish I could hear what Michael Cera says half the time. Oh well, there’s nothing good or bad I can say about this movie that hasn’t been said before. 8/10

Coraline: Coraline Jones, an imaginative young girl with inattentive parents who has just moved into a new apartment, discovers a secret door that leads to a world where everything is better, and everyone has buttons for eyes. However, under the perfect exterior, things are more sinister than they seem. I got the urge to re-watch this because it’s freaking October, and although I don’t watch horror movies, I felt obligated to watch something at least kind of Halloween-ish. And I stand by my long held opinion that this is the all time creepiest movie marketed for children ever made. Literally everything about this movie is creepy. There’s creepy music, creepy dolls being made and following people around, creepy cats, creepy people with buttons for eyes, creepy ghosts of children, creepy children with their mouths shown shut...the list is endless. And Laika never fails to make beautifully animated stop motion. 9/10

Sierra Burgess is a Loser: The latest film in Netflix’s attempt to dominate the rom-com genre, in which an unpopular high school girl ends up texting a handsome jock while leading him to believe he is texting a gorgeous cheerleader named Veronica who also goes to her school.

Okay, this isn’t a bad movie, so let me start with the good. I appreciate the message of how you need to make yourself stand out to colleges and how high school in general is becoming a toxic competitive environment. There’s a lot of good material about living up to expectations and stereotypes, both from Sierra’s side and her partner in crime Veronica’s. And speaking of Veronica, I was completely blindsided by how much of a great character she was and how much she grew throughout the film. I also liked Sierra’s best friend and the love interest, even if they were a little generic.

That being said...I didn’t like Sierra. When main characters intentionally lead people on for no good reason (and thinking some guy you’ve just met isn’t going to text you back because you’re not “conventionally attractive” is not a good reason) it annoys the hell out of me. Not only does she lie through texting him, but she and Veronica lie to his face multiple times. She also does something really horrible to Veronica because of a misunderstanding that could have been avoided if she taken five seconds to use some common sense. She also thinks she’s above doing a simple homework assignment for her poetry class because she wants to be different. I realize she needs to stand out in order to get recommendations for college, but come on. And finally, when she’s upset about how she looks, she blames her parents because her mom is attractive??? Yes it is frustrating to have these brilliant “conventionally attractive” parents, but they always try to build her up, as opposed to Veronica’s mother who only tears her down. I DID NOT HATE HER CHARACTER, but I think she could have been portrayed better. The other major thing that bothered me is that there is the complete lack of proper conflict resolution. All the problems and hurt feelings just magically go away in order to have a happy ending. Overall, the movie’s just okay. 7/10

Howl’s Moving Castle: Sophie, an ordinary girl who gets cursed by a witch, turns into an old woman and ends up working for a wizard who steals hearts. It feels like Studio Ghibli’s version of beauty and the beast, except Howl is the beauty with a questionable personality, and Sophie is the “beast” who whips him into shape...until the second half of the movie anyway. I’d prefer to watch an entire movie of old woman Sophie interacting with the other characters rather than deal with the war aspect of the plot. Anyway, the animation is awesome, and I appreciate the English voice cast...except for the fact that no one had the good sense to use Crispin Freeman as Howl instead of just having him as Turnip-Head! I know lots of people have talked about the differences between the book and the movie, but I like how the movie portrays that even though being old is physically painful, it can also be emotionally freeing. Either way I think Sophie is a great character with a fun sense of humor! 8/10

First Man: The story of Neil Armstrong and the years leading up to the moon landing...which apparently a lot of people didn’t like? Some people are butthurt about there not being a shot of planting the flag (which if they actually saw the movie they would know the focus of the scenes on the moon were to show Armstrong dealing with wonder and grief, NOT rallying together as Americans). Some people are unhappy that an American hero can be portrayed so negatively, and some people just thought it was boring and dragged a lot…

Okay, yes, the movie is a drama that does not portray Armstrong in a glowing light, and yes there are certain scenes that go on too long. BUT I really liked this movie...and this is coming from someone who doesn’t like Ryan Gosling. It is a family drama that captures how different people respond to grief and stress set in the backdrop of the space race. I also liked learning about this period in history and the controversy around the space program in general. It was beautifully shot and had very creative music choices, which was the main reason I saw it in theaters. I came away from it awed and terrified that we basically sent these people to the moon in freaking tin cans, and that in the sixties men shunned their emotions so much that they wouldn’t hug their children before going to space! Overall, it was good in a solid way, but it did drag a bit. 7.5/10

Mama Mia: Another protagonist named Sophie is getting married and invites the three men who could each possibly be her father to the wedding. But who cares about the plot, the main purpose of the film is to show women having fun with their friends! This movie...isn’t exactly good, but it 100% knows what it wants to be and accomplishes that. It’s a wacky, ridiculous, musical romp that people only watch with their friends when they’re plastered because they want to hear ABBA songs. It’s the very definition of a guilty pleasure movie, and there’s nothing wrong with that. I will say that it’s harder for me to relate to because I don’t have friends that I act this ridiculous with, and sometimes it gets to be a bit much. Although, I have seen the Broadway musical and remember absolutely loving every minute of it...so maybe it’s just the movie overplaying it. Oh well, it’s just something fun to have on in the background or watch when you need cheering up! It’s a 9/10 for being accomplishing what it wants and a 6/10 as an actual movie.

Ant-Man and the Wasp: In this Marvel filler episode between Infinity War and Captain Marvel, Scott is under house arrest and Hope tries to get her mother out of the quantum realm. Okay, this was a fun movie with some great moments, but it definitely had its issues. For a movie called Ant-Man and the Wasp, the two did not do much fighting together...or at all until the end. It felt more like an origin to their partnership than a team up movie (and I’d rather have a Wasp and Black Widow team up movie...or all the Marvel women team up movie). It also couldn’t figure out who the villain should be. It’s like they realized half way through writing it that Ghost was way too sympathetic and cool and had to come up with a bunch of more forgettable villains. And because this was more of a hot potato rather than a heist, I didn’t think it was as fun as the first movie overall. HOWEVER I still really enjoyed the inventive action and the characters. I will always watch 2 hours of Evangeline Lilly kicking ass, and Paul Rudd being himself. And I am convinced that Marvel is using The Adventure Zone route of needing competent women to solve everyone’s problems. But the heart of the movie is really family. Hank and Hope, Scott and his daughter, and even Ghost all had very compelling stories that drew me in every time. And that post credits scene...I knew it was coming, but come on! Marvel is the only current studio who can basically do a horror movie “The End…?” in their credits now. 7.5/10

The Chronicles of Narnia-The Lion the Witch and the Wardrobe: The Disney version of the classic C.S. Lewis book; come on we all know the story. Okay, I watched this for the first time in several years because I also read the book this month. And holy cow, when you see what material the movie had to work with, this is a freaking masterpiece. It takes a very simple children’s book and turns it into an epic fantasy! The score, the little details, and the setting are all perfect. All the characters are so real and fleshed out AND ACCURATELY PORTRAYED FOR THEIR AGES! All four siblings are struggling with something, and the actors do a great job considering they were actual children while making this! I am so angry that Disney let this property’s potential slip through their fingers because I truly believe that if they kept making movies like this, it could have been their Harry Potter by now. Prince Caspian was also excellent, though I don’t remember much of Dawn Treader, but I think if they put the money and effort into continuing this franchise it could have been great.

One thing I don’t appreciate about the movie is how they reduce Edmund’s mental journey. I have always especially loved Edmund as a character, and something the movie fails to mention is the fact that APPARENTLY in the book the Turkish Delight is enchanted to make whoever eats it think only of eating more and more until THEY EAT SO MUCH THAT THEY DIE?! He’s not just a greedy kid. And there’s a lot more to his time with the Witch that makes his actions easier to understand. Anyway it definitely goes down as one of the best book to movie adaptations I’ve ever seen, and it is on my very short list of movies that are better than the books. 10/10

Books!

The Chronicles of Narnia- The Lion the Witch and the Wardrobe by C.S. Lewis: It’s the first Narnia book; we all know the plot. I am one of the many people who had this series read to them as a kid, but it’s been like...eleven years since I actually read these books for myself. Even then I only got to The Horse and His Boy before stopping because it was boring as hell. I’ve been wanting to re-read the series all year, and with only the Disney movies in recent memory, imagine my surprise when I found out that Lewis’s writing style is absolutely bananas! I think he’s acting as some omniscient narrator, but his style is so stream of consciousness it’s hilarious! He constantly addresses the audience in these 2007 fanfiction author-esque asides. The Pevensies are the most posh, old-timey sounding British kids ever, and it’s amazing to visualize children that actually speak like this. Everything happens so quickly because it is 100% meant to be a children’s story, not this epic adventure we all associate with the movies. So...if you’ve never read it before definitely check it out just to discover how utterly wild everything is. My only real complaint is that it’s kinda sexist, and no one except for Edmund gets a character arc. Even though Susan gets a bow and Lucy gets a dagger, they’re treated like they shouldn’t be fighting because they’re girls and not...oh I don’t know...because they’re children! 7/10

The Ladies Guide to Petticoats and Piracy by Mackenzie Lee: The second installment of...idk...the “Guide” series? I talked about the first book, The Gentleman’s Guide to Vice and Virtue in my May Media Madness, and this book is just as good! This series takes place in the 1700s, and while the first book follows arrogant bisexual disaster Monty, his (boy)friend Percy, and his sister Felicity through a romp across Europe, this book follows Felicity and her friends on a...let’s just say “scientific expedition” involving pirates. The less you know about the plot going in the better. And did I mention her friends include a badass Muslim pirate princess and an Elle Woods-esque dog loving naturalist? And also did I mention Felicity is CANONICALLY revealed as ARO/ACE?! It’s strongly hinted at in the first book, and in this book Mackenzi Lee basically shoves any doubt about it out the window. It’s fun, hilarious, and also heartbreaking at the same because of all the challenges each character faces because they’re ambitious women in this time period. Sometimes it feels a little heavy handed in its feminist messages, but you can’t deny it’s not accurate. I’m really only saying that because I am a woman, and the struggles are nothing I haven’t seen or read before.  Anyway, this is a fantastic series that I highly recommend to anyone looking for a fun read, and it gets bonus points for including Monty and Percy being disgustingly in love together! 1000/10

Dear Evan Hansen the Novel by Val Emmich (and also Steven Levenson, Benj Pasek, and Justin Paul):

Buckle up.

I really love the Dear Evan Hansen musical (which I talked about in my August Media Madness.) The novel is almost a word for word adaptation of the musical, in which Evan, a teenager with anxiety, writes a letter to himself that is stolen by a boy who commits suicide, leading everyone to believe Evan and the boy, Connor, were best friends because they assume Connor wrote the letter to Evan. There is a lot I could say about this adaptation, but the number one thing is: I really don’t know if people who haven’t seen the musical or heard the soundtrack will like it as much. The strength of Dear Evan Hansen is mainly in its performances and its music, and while they tried to work the music in as best they could, I enjoyed the story more because I can link it back to the actors’ performances. Yes, the story is interesting and the message is important, but I honestly don’t know how much people going in blind will like the writing and how the characters are portrayed. Overall, it seemed like a well written fanfic- in a good way, not a Harry Potter and the Cursed Child way. That being said, I did really enjoy a lot of things about this book. They expanded on a lot about Evan’s relationship with his absent father and the aftermath of the big lie. They also expanded on a lot about Connor…

I honestly don’t know how I feel about Ghost Connor. Yes, I’m glad Connor shows up as a ghost in the book. What he doesn’t do is ACTUALLY INTERACT WITH EVAN...LIKE AT ALL! The best parts of the show are when Connor, as a figment of Evan’s imagination acts as a comedic buffer and his “moral center.” However, here ghost Connor exists to give snippets of Connor’s life. He barely comments on what Evan is doing at all even though he sees everything. All of Connor’s sections made me feel like the author was going through the DEH tag on AO3 and picking things to throw in. I liked his sections, but the writers really missed the more entertaining story of having Connor actually commenting about the shit Evan is doing.

So overall, I’d say watch the musical if you can find a bootleg, or at least listen to the soundtrack and then read the book. It was very enjoyable, although I think the ending dragged a bit in its quest to give more closure than the musical. 8.5/10

Bonus Manga

Shimanami Tasogare: Tasuku Kaname, a closeted boy starting his first year of high school meets a mysterious woman named Anonymous who helps him finds solace in a lounge run by other members of the LGBT+ community. This is the kind of manga that really hits and misses for me. It does a great job at portraying the struggles of a community with different sexualities and gender identities, and it has some really great characters and beautiful moments that I really think would be even better animated. But there are some character arcs that I feel are really...incomplete. It feels like the author was rushed into finishing the manga and did the best they could, but certain characters come off as major hypocrites or suddenly act like their arcs never happened. I also appreciate having an asexual character play such a big role, but the chapter where she talks about her identity as a person is just kind of...bizarre. Not to mention I barely understood what was happening for the first couple chapters because everything Anonymous says is so vague. There’s a lot I could say about this manga, but really I think it’s something everyone should read for themselves (and you’ll definitely need your tissue boxes). 8/10

TV Shows!

Arrested Development: “The story of a wealthy family who lost everything and the one son who had no choice but to keep them all together.” Aka Ron Howard narrates the shenanigans of the worst people you’ll ever see. Yes, I finally got around to watching this, and yes the first three seasons are hilarious. It’s got the same beats as a soap opera (twins, adoption, losing limbs in seal attacks), but in a sitcom format it’s genius. The fourth and fifth (or at least what there is of the fifth) are just nothing special in my opinion. I thought the fourth season was structured terribly, and once the family starts getting into politics the show tries to be a form of satire that just doesn’t work for it. Plus I live with a family of Trump supporters; so it’s not as funny when you have to live with the racist people the show is making fun of who take all the “wall” stuff seriously. 8/10

Documental: A Japanese...social experiment/documentary/game show type thing on Amazon Prime wherein 10 comedians all get locked in a room together and attempt to make each other laugh without laughing themselves. The twist is each of them contribute 1 million yen to play, and the winner gets the pot of 10 million yen. In the first season, the show is more interesting as a social experiment than it is funny. You’ll like it if you like Japanese comedy. But the thing about Japanese comedy is...well, just picture an episode of Osomatsu-san, with all the disgusting and bizarre shit they do, and then picture real people. Though I do love seeing the faces everyone makes when they’re trying not to laugh! HOWEVER, the second season is so much better. I was laughing so much every episode that it hardly felt like the same show. They also changed the format a little so there would definitely be a winner at the end of the time. There’s still gross weird shit, but it’s a much better season. I give season 1 a 6/10 and season 2 an 8.5/10

Over the Garden Wall: In case you’ve been skipping the entire season of autumn since 2014, OTGW is a 10 episode miniseries that aired on Cartoon Network detailing the journey of two brothers Wirt and Greg who are lost in a mysterious wood called “The Unknown.” But really the whole thing is like a stuck in Purgatory story. It’s one of those shows that goes from adorable and funny to dark as fuck real quick. I think it’s impossible to go through the fall season without watching this at least once. This is another one of those things where there’s nothing I can say about it that hasn’t already been said. The atmosphere is perfect for Halloween, the characters are great (Elijah Wood voices Wirt, and it’s the best), and there are so many hidden clues that after it aired we all demanded a Gravity Falls crossover…

I could go on. This show is perfect except for the unnecessarily silly school teacher episode...and fact that it goes by too fast...and also the fact that now I know Elijah Wood has an adorable singing voice, and I’m salty that he didn’t really sing in Lord of the Rings. This is the atmospheric “watch it once a year” type of show that we desperately need more of...it doesn’t have to be the same characters or even have the same messages, but dang it Cartoon Network you can’t just give us this masterpiece and walk away!!! 10/10

Yuri On Ice: Yes, the figure skating anime. This is Tumblr so I doubt I need to post the summary of the show, but I do talk about it in my Hufflepuff Anime recommendations post. Since I couldn’t watch the Yuri On Ice marathon (which was coincidentally held on my birthday!) I decided to have my own dang marathon. There’s just so much to love about this anime: the music, the animation, the characters, the diversity, the humor, and the accuracy to the sport. But I think the main reason I love this show so much is because, as someone who watches a lot of sports anime, I really appreciate this show doing something different and focusing on ADULTS WHO ACTUALLY RELY ON THE SPORT AS A CAREER and using drama that way instead of the main source of angst being “we have to win the match for our senpai!” This is one of those shows you can watch a million times and still find new things to love! 10/10

Podcasts!

I don’t know why I made a separate section for this, since I only listened to one.

Hey Riddle Riddle: A podcast with three hosts that go talk about riddles and puzzles (aka puzzies and riddies) and role play various ridiculous answers to them. I started listening to it because Justin McElroy was on an episode, and it was pretty funny. The podcast is interesting and entertaining, except for the fact that sometimes their role playing and improve can go on for too long, and they don’t know when to let a joke die. Also one of the co-hosts is really annoying, but the other two make up for it. 8/10

Honorable Mentions

Camp Camp released a Halloween episode called Arrival of the Torso Takers and I watched it...probably four times...I don’t have a problem.

Some shows I watch on actual television came back this fall! Bob’s Burgers, Crazy Ex Girlfriend, Fresh Off the Boat, Speechless, Modern Family (yes I still watch that), and The Good Place!

I don’t know if this was a leak or what, but there’s a new My Little Pony christmas Hearthswarming special, and guys...I thought it was pretty great. Say what you want about this show, but it knows how to do holiday episodes. Anyone who has been a fan for a long time or even fans who have fallen off the show will probably love it. It’s very sweet and never went in the direction I thought it would.

And last but not least, shout out to all the anime coming out this fall...there’s just...so much to watch...please help...

[opang3324]

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Talks Machina Highlights - Liam’s Quest Part 2

This week’s Denise message: “If you were at Wondercon I was right beside you the whole time.”

No Talks Machina next week! Brian and Ashley will be on vacation. Marisha hints that there might be “a thing” in place of the show next week.

Advance heads-up on the new Vox Machina shirt! Info for buying will be on Thursday.

Little segment filmed at WonderCon where Brian quizzed CR cosplayers with a variety of trivia questions, including, of course, “What is Scanlan’s mother’s name?”

Travis abandoned the party four times in this episode. (everyone starts singing “True Colors”) The word “sausage” was uttered seven times, and the word “spaghetti” five times. 

Brian brings a picture of himself as a teenager to make everyone feel better about their own pictures that’ve been circulating since the episode. Travis: “Is that sharpie on your chin?”

Liam started planning this game before Stranger Things came out, so it was a bit more inspired by “It”.

A long time ago, Liam sent pictures of himself as a teenager to everyone in the text thread and they all responded by sending their own childhood/teen pictures back to him, but he couldn’t find that thread when he was setting up the oneshot. He had excellent one-line notes he sent to the artist for each of them.

Travis: “I might’ve tried to fight something, but I had no weapons. I had an inhaler.”

Liam: “I felt like I balanced it really well with a party of level ones and a demogorgon.”

The oldest kids in the game were the youngest IRL; it was just a switch.

Brian asks how intimidating it was to have Matt as a player. “Answer your question as though he weren’t sitting to my left in pajama pants.”

Kid!Liam was the dead body under the tree. The old man was also Liam. The idea was that Liam kept trying to be there with them through the dimensional shift, but there was already one Liam in that particular time, so squish.

One of the few places where there could’ve been a big divergence in the plot was if they’d managed to sneak up on old man Liam--he would’ve traveled with them.

Liam to Marisha: “Oldest or youngest, you’re still the toughest motherfucker in this group.”

Travis running away throughout the episode was true to life: he ran out of The Neverending Story, Jurassic Park, wouldn’t ride roller coasters, and didn’t see an R-rated movie until he was like 15. Marisha mentions that his reactions at Horror Nights are worth the price of admission.

Everyone got to pick their classes for the oneshot. Ashley picked rogue because it felt like what she would’ve been like IRL. Liam: “But you surprised us all and smeared yourself in blood and gore and screamed at the devil.” Everyone agrees that there may have been a multiclass there.

Unexpected things on Liam’s end: wasn’t expecting Ashley to be as metal as she was. Wasn’t expecting all the bowing to Satan. He wants to keep some of it ambiguous, but the group didn’t behave exactly the way he thought they would at the end. 

The crew was in on the last five seconds, but the lead-up defined what those last five seconds would mean. He’d thought about continuing the metaverse thing indefinitely, but with the way it wound up ending, he thought it was a pretty satisfying finale.

Marisha: “I’m an utter dumbass--” Ashley: “No, you’re not!” Long pause. Marisha, turning to Travis: “I’m an utter dumbass--” Travis: “Yes, you are.”

Ashley and her best friend put a full bottle of dish soap in the fountain outside the courthouse in Burbank. It bubbled up way more than they expected and was on the news. That was the tamest story she could tell from her teenage years.

Liam randomly selected which of them would die first in the demogorgon fight.

Brian asks Matt whether experiencing a TPK as a character made him less inclined to possibly cause a TPK with the main campaign. Matt, offscreen: “No.”

Marisha has a new tattoo on her wrist that’s the death saving throws indicator from the 5e character sheets.

Liam describing Marisha’s reaction to being squished: “It was like seven stages of grief... and then the bird over and over again.”

Liam got ideas from Neil Druckmann for specific lines to use to mess with Ashley.

It was a little over 20 minutes total of the speak-and-spell voice. Liam knew going in that Travis in particular would just lose it, which made it easier to slip in the more intense stuff. He’d had a lingering cough for a few weeks and was worried he wouldn’t be able to do the voice because he knew the scene wouldn’t quite have the same sort of tragicomic punch without it.

The crew was cued in on the phrase “Are you guys ready to play?” at the end.

Everyone agrees that they would’ve been good friends had they met as kids.

Liam on advice for new DMs who are nervous about trying something really off-the-wall. “If you’re scared of something, that’s what you should be moving towards.” Liam missed a window to say something to someone he lost last year, and so this game was his chance to come right out and say what he wanted to say most to these people.

Brian talks about Critical Role has always been about choosing your own family, and how that really shone through in the one-shot. “It was brilliant storytelling and execution... and executions.”

Talks Machine in the dark:

Liam first did the speak-and-spell voice when he was eight or nine years old. His son can do it, too. Travis tries to do it and goes a little Wookie instead.

As a ranger, Travis would have an otter companion because he loves otters so much. Everyone immediately reenacts the cute otter videos they’ve seen.

A Youtube ad for cheese dippers starts playing on the screen with the fireplace. Chaos ensues.

Marisha has a lot of dreams of the cast getting caught in a tsunami or a flood. Liam and Ashley have both dreamt of the cast just playing D&D.

At the next charity stream, Brian will let the cast decide what he should wear for an episode of Talks Machina.

Liam on Sam vs. Matt’s respective Vicious Mockeries: “Sam’s are more dopey zingers, and Matt’s... made me really feel bad.”

Everyone likes pineapple on pizza except for Marisha and Brian.

In terms of fighting classic horror-genre movie baddies, Ashley and Liam want to fight Xenomorphs, Travis wants to fight Freddy, Marisha wants to fight It.

[merrile677vbucks-blog]

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[inkuisitivskins]

Top 5 Series that fundamentally shaped you as a person

Ask Me My Top Five Anything!

ohhhhhh yikes. Lemme think haha, there’s several that immediately come to mind but I really wanna put some thought into this uwu I’ll try to put them in some semblance of a rational order heh

1. Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood (and slightly 2003)

I had always been into “anime” like Pokemon and Hamtaro when I was a kid, but it was about seven years ago when I started watching actual anime. My first was Kekkaishi on Adult Swim, and I liked it enough, but that was also during the first English dub airing of Brotherhood, and it would come on right after Kekkaishi did, so I would watch it sometimes. I think the first episode I remember seeing was a flashback of Ishval, and one scene I prominently remember was Riza talking to Ed in her apartment (when she’s cleaning her pistol and she asks Ed if he loves Winry LMAO). I thought it looked cool and I realized that my mom’s friend’s (she lives with us) son had all but one dvd set of the original 2003 anime. I binge watched it (only missing the short dvd arc where Hughes was killed, which was later in 03 than in Brotherhood), and I fell in love. After that, I dove into Brotherhood and started buying the manga volumes (which were also being released as the anime aired). It remains my favorite franchise to this day, and I’m honestly glad that I saw 03 first because??? there’s certain things I still like about it, and even though Brotherhood is the superior and truest (to Arakawa’s actual vision of the story) version, I’m glad I was able to appreciate the original. I feel like I’d be turned off by it if I watched it after the fact, you know?

What I love about Fullmetal is just the thought that goes into the characters and the events that go on. In Brotherhood, every single character, including fuckin side characters like Yoki, have a specific purpose. The story and lore of the world is so immersive and well thought out and just so intelligent? I love all of the scientific and historical allusions Arakawa makes, and the character development is so beautiful and wonderful (namely in characters like Ed and Al, whose quest changes from something that only concerned themselves to something that concerns literally their whole country and eventually the entire world, if they hadn’t have stopped Father– and Scar, who only wanted revenge, but eventually saw past it and recognized the same greater good that Ed and Al did, even going as far to make the huge mindset change from REVENGE IS ONLY THE ANSWER AND I WILL DISOBEY MY GOD IN ORDER TO ULTIMATELY SERVE THEM to Miles’s mindset of I will use what has been given to me to change minds and make the world a better place for my people)

No joke I’m literally so tempted to apply for a panel at a convention that would just be a huge love letter to this series, where I discuss all of these things I feel in depth. I have 0 idea how to apply for a panel tho haha

2. Pokemon

When I was little, I would go to my mom’s work and just hang out after school. There was one coworker she had who was a young guy, like early twenties, and he really liked me. One day, he brought Pokemon LeafGreen for me to play, and I absolutely fell in love with it (literally my first playthrough, I got in one of the Ye Olde Metapod vs Metapod Fights hahaha). I think that was around first grade, soooo like 2004 ish? It just so happened that I had a friend who was getting a DS, so she gave me her gameboy advance SP and I bought LeafGreen uwu

After that, I’ve had at least one pokemon game from each gen and a few of the spinoffs since. I have FireRed and LeafGreen, Emerald, Blue on the virtual console, Gold, Crystal (that didn’t work), Pearl, Diamond, Platinum, Black, White 2, Y, Omega Ruby, Moon, soon Moon Ultra, Mystery Dungeron Red and Blue rescue teams, Mystery Dungeon Darkness/Time/Sky, Trozei, Rumble Blast, Battle Revolution, and the original Pokemon Ranger. 

It really helped me when I was little because it exposed me to the world of creature design, which is like my ultimate career path (I would like to be a creature and character design artist for a game company, though for now I’ll settle on an art teacher haha). Some of my first shitty OCs were Pokemon ripoffs, heh. It’s just why it’s always been easier for me to draw animals and creatures; I’m only just now getting into humans tbh.

3. The Land Before Time

This is probably the most random series on this list lmao. I grew up with the original movies, like, big time. Ever since I was 5 until I was like 17, I had wanted to be a paleontologist because of these movies. I still absolutely love dinosaurs so much, and Imma rant for a second buttt

The main tattoo I want is of a Tylosaurus P. skeleton because??? i loved dinosaurs and I bought this wii game where you play as different prehistoric marine reptiles (since they’re not considered dinosaurs but still) ((and i recognize it now but that game was so bad but i loved it to death)) and one of them was a tylosaur, it was my favorite. Fast forward a few years, my aunt took me to go on a dig (which I hated bc it was out in the heat) but I met a woman there who worked at a museum and she??? invited me to come help excavate one in the lab???? and guess what the actual fuck it was

it was a tylosaurus p. skull. My exact favorite dinosaur, right down to the specific genus. 

That was incredible because I was actually able to touch and help excavate the skull? which is a big deal bc the skeletons you see in museums usually aren’t the real thing, just plasters. So the fact that I was able to touch the real deal was one of the best things to ever happen to me.

So yeah I fucking love dinosaurs and if teaching doesn’t work out I’m gonna try and do paleontology stuff

4. Okami

This was one of the first wii games I ever got REALLY SUPER into. If you don’t know what this game is, it’s a literal work of art where you play as the reincarnated Japanese sun goddess who took on the form of a wolf, and her power is that the tip of her tail is like a brush and she can paint things into existence. This really got me to make my first ever “real” OCs, even though they were mainly fan characters. One I’ve abandoned, but two became like their own entities. One I still call a fan character because her entire story has to do with the game and I can’t really tailor her into her own thing, but for the other, I made her her own series. Little Baby Dylan wrote enough content for 4 whole manga series with this bitch, because even I had an “I want to be a mangaka” phase. Obviously looking back on it now, they were garbage, but I really want to redo her series because I miss and love her. Anyway, if Pokemon introduced me to character creation, Okami introduced me to worldbuilding and lore development. 

I also kind of want to write fanfiction for the one fan character bc I feel her story is really good? I just don’t know if there’s a place for fan character-centric fics on Ao3, since she’s the main character and she only interacts with canon characters (especially since she’s kind of an OCxCanon thing and idk how well that’s accepted there;;;;; )

I doubt anyone would want to see them but I may draw them again sometime if anyone’s interested haha

5. Dark Souls

One of my first “more mature” gaming experiences along with Skyrim and Fallout 3, the Souls series exposed me to the wonders of Dark Storytelling and Dark Atmosphere and *gasp* Eldritch themes. The unforgiving and sinister nature of these games just fuckin drew me in, I was enraptured at the tone that this game was able to produce. When I branched off from the Okami verse and made the world for the fan-character-turned-original-character, I took a lot of inspiration from this game and the atmosphere it was able to create. The story was so dark and the characters were all very weird and even some could have been considered otherworldly. I still really love the feel of it all and, through it, I learned how to draw certain creepy things and evoke certain emotions from my art (see: that drawing I did of Envy’s true form haha)

Sorry this was so long Megan;;; Thank you very much for asking though!!

[kevinpolowy]

David Oyelowo Talks 'A United Kingdom,' #OscarSoWhite, and Why He Seeks Out Female Directors

David Oyelowo (Getty Images)

David Oyelowo is one of the most insightful ambassadors for inclusion in the film industry. Oyelowo rose to fame in Ava DuVernay’s 2014 Martin Luther King Jr. biopic Selma (a role many believed deserved an Oscar nomination and helped launch the #OscarsSoWhite backlash); at the same time, he publicly bemoaned the lack of black men in British productions. He is also a vocal advocate for female filmmakers.

As he was breaking through in Selma, the Oxford native born to Nigerian parents was in the lengthy process of developing A United Kingdom. The film is the illuminating true story of King Seretse Khama, a Botswanian royal who married white Briton Ruth Williams (Rosamund Pike) in the 1940s; their coupling was condemned by both the English government and its small African colony, resulting in his exile from what was then known as Bechuanaland in 1951.

Oyelowo, 41, sought out a female director (Belle‘s Amma Assante). In fact, four of his last five films (A United Kingdom, Queen of Katwe, Five Nights in Maine, and Selma) have been directed by women, and that isn’t a coincidence. He talked to Yahoo Movies about United Kingdom (now on DVD/Blu-ray and Digital HD) and more in the candid interview below.

Yahoo Movies: This is probably a poor comparison, but I couldn’t help thinking A United Kingdom felt like a dramatic counterpart to Coming to America. In the beginning, anyway. David Oyelowo: No, that’s not strange at all. I love Coming to America! But obviously that’s a silly version of the story. I hope Eddie Murphy wouldn’t be offended with me calling it silly. But it’s light fare, whereas this really happened and had a huge impact on Botswana, and was a massive event in U.K. politics post-WWII. And it’s about a true place. Zamunda is fictional [laughs].

But I think, to keep on with that comparison, the great thing about A United Kingdom is that it shows a side of African life that we very rarely get to see. You see a great leader who was genuinely concerned with his people. And it’s a success story. You see a love story that played across two continents and three countries. And you see an African man and an African leader who is in the driving seat of his own destiny. These are things that you rarely see, cinematic speaking.

Is this a story that was largely known in the U.K.? No, it’s not largely known anywhere, even in Botswana. Because as a result of being a colony, that history was kind of buried, as unfortunately can be the case with one country ruling over another for a time that basically can recalibrate the history. So that was one of the pleasures and one of the joys of telling this story, it’s one where when you read about it, when you find about it, you can’t believe you didn’t know about it, let alone the rest of the world. And that was definitely the driver for me in terms of fighting to get the film made.

David Oyelowo and Rosamund Pike in ‘A United Kingdom’

Has the response you’ve received to the film been different in the U.S. vs. U.K.? I think there’s a feeling of regret in the U.K. that these things happened to these people. And it’s a great thing because a lot people I’ve spoken to, considering the times we now live in, it’s a reminder of the vigilance we need to continue to have in relation to what governments subject different people to.

How do you think this story does relate to the times we now live in? Well, intolerance — and racial intolerance, specifically — is still very much with us, and that of course was the driver for wanting to keep these two people apart. The fact that something as basic and universal as love ended up being what enabled them to overcome the circumstances they were in, the governmental pressures they were under, and the cultural pressures they were facing as well, is I think a beautiful example of what is possible… It’s going to take a determined attitude of love to overcome some of the really dark and dangerous things we’re seeing happen on our planet right now.

Have you and your wife [Jessica Oyelowo] had to endure the type of intolerance we see portrayed in the film? When my wife, who is white, and I happened upon this story, the overriding effect it had on us was feeling very fortunate that we were living in a different era than they did. Because we haven’t experienced anything the likes of what they have experienced. But we’re not naïve to the fact that there are places we go where the tolerance levels drop in relation to us as a couple. But there’s [been] nothing overt. But there are places that we largely avoid where people have a real problem.

In Britain or— Everywhere. We know for a fact that there are states in the United States where the tolerance levels drop. And there are definitely parts of the U.K. where that is the case as well. And within the hearts of certain individuals — they made not overtly express it, but under given circumstances you can feel it. Certainly, there are instances where it has been expressed vocally and people have had to talk about their awful experiences. But I see Ruth and Seretse as being very ahead of their time in terms of what they were prepared to endure for their love and a great example of how to overcome it.

Jessica is in this film, but she plays more of an antagonist, while your Seretse is head over heels in love with Rosamund Pike’s Ruth. That had to be an odd experience, falling into a romantic screen relationship while your actual wife is right there? Well, not only is it odd, but it’s doubly odd when your real-life wife is playing someone is a racist and who cannot stand the idea of a black man and a white woman being together [laughs]. We had one scene in particular where Rosamund, as written, puts her hand on my hand as an expression of affection that Jessica has to witness. And the camera cuts to her and it looks like she throws up a little bit in her mouth as that happens. And for my money, she does that a little too well. But I like it was because another woman, generally, was touching her husband, not because she had fully embraced the racist qualities of her character [laughs]. No, but we love working together. We met doing youth theater together and it was a real privilege to be a part of a film that means a lot to both of us for obvious reasons.

Jessica Oyelowo and David Oyelowo (Getty Images)

Around the release of Selma you said that was there was a serious shortage of leading roles for black men in British period pieces. This film was produced in Britain. Have you seen any progress since? Well, if I didn’t put the film on my back, and sort of pummel away for six to seven years, A United Kingdom wouldn’t exist. And there are not many films like it in the ether. So I can’t really speak to what’s coming down the pike, pardon the pun, but I know that there isn’t exactly an avalanche of these kind of films and opportunities. But the ability to construct opportunities for yourself has increased. There are many ways of displaying your work now, and it doesn’t just have to be in a movie theater. There are many more avenues. But it’s still a struggle.

Were you as frustrated or upset as a lot of us that Selma was so overlooked by the Oscars? It’s now two years on and I have a lot of hindsight. In many ways I think more people ended up seeing the film because of what it didn’t get than what people it should’ve got. I think that people just got curious. What’s all the noise? What’s #OscarSoWhite? What is this so-called injustice that has happened to this film? And I now can’t go anywhere without people having seen that film. So at the end of the day, you could argue that the film did exactly what it was supposed to do. Me having a trinket on a shelf somewhere doesn’t validate or eviscerate any of that.

And so, look, the byproducts of it continue to go on and on. I don’t think A United Kingdom would’ve gotten made without Selma. What Ava DuVernay is doing by way of her amazing work, Selma was a launch pad for that. Selma gave birth to #OscarsSoWhite, which then had a two-year run, and I think it has brought about discernible change since that black eye, so we shall, on our industry. So there are things that come out of it that far exceed anything that I think nominations or even Oscars would have given us.

Do you feel like Moonlight‘s Oscars win, and other wins by folks like Mahershala Ali and Viola Davis, will help turn the page on #OscarsSoWhite? I think we have for now. I personally think a huge amount of vigilance has to be employed in relation to thinking that that chapter in Hollywood history is over. Because the infrastructure that enabled two years of #OscarsSoWhite — and forget even #OscarsSoWhite, that still allows for such an underrepresentation of women, of Hispanic people, of Asian people, let alone black people — that is very much still in place. We still do not have enough representations on film what society actually looks like. So yes, it was a nice pendulum swing, but we’ve seen that in the past. What we need is more than a moment. We need a true movement that sticks. And only time will tell if that is indeed the case.

David Oyelowo and Ava DuVernay on the set of ‘Selma’ (Paramount)

Well speaking of the underrepresentation of women, four of your last five films have been made by female directors. Are you consciously seeking out women behind the camera? Very conscious. I was very keen on Ava DuVernay for Selma and really beat that drum. Amma Assante was someone I targeted for A United Kingdom. I knew Amma, I thought what she did with Belle as a film was truly beautiful and was the kind of voice we needed for A United Kingdom. I did a film called Five Nights in Maine with a filmmaker called Maris Curran. It was a film I produced, and one of the main reasons I wanted to do that film was because I felt that she was a great new female voice. And Mira Nair was just a wonderful invitation to be a part of Queen of Katwe. And yes, not only being a woman but a person of color who has lived in Uganda for 25 years, so she really knows what she’s talking about in relation to that African culture. That was very meaningful to me, because as I say, we’ve had several representations on film of Africa that have been an outsider’s perspective, and it’s not to say that those films aren’t valid, but we need some of the other. We need to see what it feels like from within, because I do that that is a more rich and authentic take than just an outside perspective.

I don’t know yet if we can say it’s a turning point, but it does feel like 2017 is becoming a great year for female directors. You look at Patty Jenkins breaking records with Wonder Woman. Ava Duvernay has A Wrinkle in Time coming out with Disney. Kathryn Bigelow has Detroit on the horizon. And there are some really notable new indies out now, like The Beguiled [Sofia Coppola], The Bad Batch [Ana Lily Amirpour], and Band Aid [Zoe Lister-Jones], which was shot with an all-female crew. I agree. My thing is just vigilance. I remember when Denzel Washington and Halle Berry won Oscars in the same year and there being a feeling that we had turned a corner, historically. And we hadn’t. I remember when 12 Years a Slave, The Butler, Fruitvale Station and Mandela were all films that had black male protagonists at their center. And that feeling like it was a renaissance, as it was being called, and then it was followed by two years of #OscarsSoWhite.

I think that it’s worth acknowledging these moments, but as it pertains to female directors, you’re still running at a catastrophic deficit when you think that the population is 51 percent female, and only 7 percent of the top 250 films shot in 2015 were directed by women. That’s inexcusable. So it’s wonderful that all of those films are happening, and I saw Wonder Woman the other day and you don’t often say this about a superhero movie, but that’s an important movie that I think 10 years, 20 years from now, people are still going to be looking at as hopefully, a corner turned. But not just because it was directed by a woman, but because it’s actually about something as opposed to just being eye candy. You really come away from it having your mental senses tickled. And I think that does partly have to do with that female perspective that isn’t just interested in explosions.

A United Kingdom is now on DVD, Blu-ray and Digital HD. Watch the trailer:

Read more on Yahoo Movies:

Lupita Nyong’o ‘Exhausted’ By Africa-Set Films With Black Characters in the Background

David Oyelowo Gets Banned from Traveling to Homeland in Exclusive Clip from ‘A United Kingdom’

Lupita Nyong’o’ and David Oyelowo’s Emotional Reactions to Seeing ‘Queen of Katwe’

[trendingnewsb]

5 Horror Movies That Made Up Rules Midway Through The Film

Any good movie needs to establish the rules of its universe. The viewer absolutely must know what happens if zombie blood gets in your mouth, or if you give a gremlin a boner. Unfortunately, not every movie can keep its own rules straight. Some make stuff up right in the middle and hope you won’t notice. Spoilers ahead, of course.

5

In Get Out, The Villains Must Vet And Seduce Their Victims Carefully … Or Just Kidnap Random People?

One of the major reveals in Get Out is that even white people who voted for Obama can be racist. Another big one is that Chris’s girlfriend, Rose, only dated him so that her family could hypnotically trap his mind and auction his body off to wealthy brain-rapists. It’s an amazing movie, is what we’re saying here.

Anyway, we’re first tipped off to the evil plot when Chris discovers a troublingly large stack of photographs of Rose and all her (black) exes, including her parents’ weird servants. You might not immediately think, “These are people she’s mentally enslaved,” but it’s worth bringing up.

Universal PicturesAlso, what’s with the box of physical photographs? Are you a hundred years old?

Rose has been dating Chris for five months. And judging from the intimate photos, she’s convinced over a dozen other people to fall for her. This means she has been in the family business of debauching African Americans since she was, at best, a teenager. Forget about how creepy that is; it’s sort of incredible. They’ve been asking this girl to constantly convince strangers to fall in love with her and then betray them since before she could buy beer. She’s the Meryl Streep of brain transplant crime.

Using Rose as a honeypot sounds extremely inefficient, but what else could the family do? The movie clearly establishes that they’ve got to get those people to their house somehow, and it’s not like they can simply abduct anyone on the street.

Except … wait, that’s exactly what they can do.

Universal PicturesTo this guy. This poor son of a bitch right here.

The man in the picture above is Andre. Andre is nabbed while wandering around an upscale suburban neighborhood, presumably looking for an Olive Garden. Rose’s brother, Jeremy, lacks his sister’s bubbly charm, so he apparently knocks out random black pedestrians and stuffs them in his car.

And it’s not like Jeremy’s method is any less successful than Rose’s. Andre was clearly hypnotized, brain-transplanted, and sold with no real problems. Jeremy achieved in a single night what took Rose five full months.

Read Next

6 Classic Movies That Get Ruined By Grade-School Science

On top of all of that, Jeremy’s method is significantly safer. While she was dating Chris for half a year, she met all the people in his life — like his friend, Rod, who might wonder why his friend didn’t come back from her house. A bisexual girl who dates only black people is already going to generate some gossip, but if every single one of those people mysteriously goes missing, it’s safe to say that story would get picked up sooner or later. And a string of abductions linked to the city’s most famous interracial sex addict is a much easier crime to solve than a few seemingly unrelated disappearances.

4

In Freddy Vs. Jason, Jason Randomly Becomes Afraid Of Water

Freddy Vs. Jason was supposed to be the horror villain smackdown to end all horror villain smackdowns. But before the two really go at it, Freddy enters Jason’s dreams to see what he fears most. After decades of murder, Jason has been beaten and mangled, sometimes to death, so obviously the thing he fears most is water. Wait, water!?

Specifically, harmless cascading water. It’s … it’s weird.

Later in the movie, Freddy uses this knowledge to his advantage. Right when Jason is about to machete the shit out of Freddy, a pipe bursts, spraying wetness between the supernatural forces of death. There’s nothing special about this water. It’s just water. And it stops Jason right in his tracks. Now, this rule makes sense on paper … if you’ve never seen a Friday The 13th movie. As a boy, Jason first died by drowning, so a phobia of water would not be out of the question. Now here’s a picture of a very relaxed Jason chest-deep in his greatest fear:

New Line CinemaOr maybe he’s scared? It’s hard to tell, of course.

Here he is in Jason Takes Manhattan, wherein he hitches a ride to the big city on a boat’s anchor with no problem whatsoever. This is almost certainly the wettest way to get to Manhattan.

New Line CinemaLook at the poor thing: Scared to death.

Even in a Friday The 13th video game, Jason has no problem getting in the water to do some good old-fashioned lake slaying.

Gun Media“Oh thank god! Rescue me!”

Is it possible Freddy reawakened some dormant fear in Jason? Maybe, but the more likely explanation is that there needed to be some kind of tension in a fight between two immortal fear monsters, and they didn’t hire the world’s most creative writer to develop the story every seven-year-old horror fan thought of first.

3

In It Follows, Shooting The Follower Doesn’t Work (Until It Does)

It Follows is about a monster that follows you if you fuck someone who was already being followed by the monster. Then, if the monster catches you, it fucks you to death. It’s uh … it’s better than it sounds. The whole thing is a not-so-subtle metaphor for STDs, so you would imagine the solution to the problem would be some kind of poetic, maybe metaphorical thing, like convincing teens to practice abstinence, or maybe burning off your genitals. But no. Instead they shoot it.

They straight up shoot the thing dead.

RADiUS-TWC

Now, shooting isn’t a bad idea if you’re looking to kill something, but they establish early in the movie that bullets don’t work on the Follower. Instead of getting on a plane to Australia to wait it out (because the entity can only very slowly walk wherever it goes), the main group of kids decide to hang out at a nearby beach and let it catch up. Naturally, the monster shows up, and the main character, Jay, shoots it in the neck.

This doesn’t keep it down for long. It gets right back up and continues following Jay. This should communicate that it’s a mystical being that can’t be stopped with mortal techniques, but it doesn’t. In fact, the movie soon gets straight up Scooby-Doo. During the big final showdown, the heroes attempt to electrocute the creature in a pool. But when that plan goes belly-up, they decide to finish it off once and for all … by shooting it. Again.

Maybe it’s not a metaphor for STDS, but for how nothing matters and everything’s stupid.

When the pool fills with blood, the kids decide the entity is defeated once and for all. Now sure, there’s a scene at the end which shows it may (or may not) still be following the characters, but the monster inexplicably showing up at the end of the horror film is a tried and true cliche. It means practically nothing. It’s as pointlessly ridiculous as having the monster leap out of the pool on a surfboard and go, “I’ll be back in It Follows 2: Beach Bods!”

2

In 2004’s Dawn Of The Dead, People Turn Into Zombies Just, Like, Whenever The Hell

A lot of zombie movies play their “zombie rules” pretty fast and loose, but the 2004 Dawn Of The Dead remake reeeally stretched the boundaries of zombification science. Basically, when people get bitten, they turn into zombies whenever it’s most convenient for the plot.

In the opening scene, Ana’s husband gets bitten in the neck by a zombified neighbor child and collapses on the bed. In the time it takes for Ana to call 9-1-1 and get a busy signal, he dies and pops back up as an undead maniac:

Universal Pictures“HEY! We’re out of toilet paper! I TOLD YOU YESTERDAY WE’RE OUT OF TOILET PAPER! YOU ALWAYS DO THIIIIIS!!!”

Later, when the gang is in the mall, they bring in a truck full of eight people, two of whom have been bitten. One is a lady in a wheelbarrow, best described as 300 pounds of moaning rotten meat long overdue to die from any number of things. The other is TV’s Max Headroom, who has a little bite on his arm.

Universal Pictures“Wait, in what zombie story do you bring me into an enclosed space!? This is fucking crazy!”

Universal Pictures“Wait, someone remembers Max Headroom? This is fucking crazy.”

Max Headroom dies very shortly, but another character, the pregnant Luda, has a similar wound on her arm, and she lasts days, maybe weeks? The movie doesn’t give a clear timeline, but within one montage set to a lounge cover of “Down With The Sickness,” it’s made clear the party is in there long enough to get suicidally stir-crazy.

The point is, Luda lives hundreds, maybe thousands of times longer than other people with the same wound. Maybe her pregnancy had an effect? Meanwhile, the lady in the wheelbarrow seemed to rot into a corpse puddle long before she hopped up as a zombie. Maybe her weight problem had an effect? Is diabetes the cure for zombism?

The characters spell it right out for the audience that bites transit the disease, and yet not a single infection seems to follow the same rules. For instance, the gun shop owner gets bitten on the arm, describes it as “not bad,” and turns undead in minutes. Can the zombie virus tell when it’s time to speed up the plot?

Universal PicturesZombie for “Wrap it up.”

So turning into a zombie can take several minutes, a few hours, or literally weeks, based on whatever reveal is coolest. Maybe the silliest dramatic transformation happens in the climax, when the Ty Burrell “rich dick” character gets jumped by a zombie and moments later comes back as a hissing monster. Which means that within seconds, a zombie kills him, decides to stop eating him, and leaves the area completely. This goes against everything we’ve learned about zombie behavior and most of what we’ve learned about bite timelines, but it allows him to get shot in the face for a callback to earlier in the movie, when Ana said she was going to shoot him in the face.

Universal Pictures“Ha! I knew that line about shooting me in the face would pay off!”

1

In Saw, Jigsaw Lets People Live If They Appreciate Life. Except No, He Doesn’t.

Saw‘s central villain, John Kramer, conducts sinister tests on human beings, only allowing them to live if they learn what life really means. The movies clearly want us to think of Jigsaw as a complicated character. Yes, he’s a murderous criminal, but also sort of a free life coach? Which may be how they justify letting him win at the end of every movie. (Sorry for spoiling Saw, Saw II, Saw IV, Saw 3D, and Jigsaw.)

There’s always some reveal to explain how all the people in Jigsaw’s traps deserve it, and unlike his insane proteges, Kramer himself has a single guiding philosophy he’s trying to carry out. Supposedly, he forces people to appreciate what they have, and if they demonstrate that they’ve learned this, he lets them go. But is that really what he does? Is all of this as stupid as it sounds?

Yes. In one movie, he forces a man to tunnel through a maze of razor wire to prove that he wants to live. The man in question does indeed want to live, and is so determined to do so that he slices his stomach open while fighting his way through. So he proves it, right? No, Jigsaw lets him die. It wasn’t any kind of test; it was a weird murder with torture and puppets that would have killed him less if he wasn’t so motivated to live. Enjoying life isn’t the same as being immune to barbed wire, Jigsaw!

The movie is full of traps built around how much damage a body can take, not how determined the body is to seize the day. For instance, the man covered in flammable jelly and made to tread on broken glass without flinching. Jigsaw watches that poor guy through a peephole and doesn’t once intervene, even as the guy clearly demonstrates his willingness to endure pain to save his own life. He passed, you dick! Call off the murder!

At one point, Kramer leaves a victim in a chair designed to drill into the man’s head if the detectives following him don’t call off the case. What kind of zest for life is that supposed to test? Drills don’t magically stop working when they hit a brain thinking about how it hates dying.

In the history of Jigsaw’s arts and crafts murder spree, only a small handful of people are actually tested on how much they appreciate life. The rest of them are killed in pointlessly unpleasant ways. It’s like Jigsaw created the world’s most infantile, half-baked philosophy solely to justify thousands of hours of death trap construction and bicycling puppet maintenance. How did they make eight movies about that, and only seven about an evil Leprechaun?

Jordan Breeding also writes for Paste Magazine, the Twitter, himself, and with a dirty, dirty spray can in various back alleys. Mike Bedard does a lot more than point out flaws in movies. He also makes his own. Here’s a short he made about Indiana Jones saying it’s okay to punch Nazis. If you like what you see, then follow him on Twitter. Dan Hopper is an editor for Cracked, previously for CollegeHumor and BestWeekEver.tv. He fires off consistent A-minus tweets at @DanHopp.

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[joshuazev]

On fifteen minutes, twice, interrupted intermittently: an exercise

I wish that more people that knew him had gone to his funeral.  I heard from someone that went that the representation from the schools he and I went to were slim and that made me really sad.  It was disappointing.  Maybe it was because the people that knew him and also knew about the event were busy that day.  Maybe they had other priorities and didn’t have means for transportation to get there.  Or maybe they didn’t care.  I really hope that’s not the case.  Sometimes that’s the hardest thing about being 3,000 miles away is knowing that it’s really difficult to make certain get togethers that you wouldn’t ever think twice about if you were in the vicinity.  Maybe my case is different.  Maybe not everyone knew him for as long as I did.  I was told a couple of his teachers were there.  Teachers I knew of.  Just thinking of them being there makes me want to cry.  It’s just like everyone says.  No child should ever die before his parents.  A parent will be wrecked because of it.  His dad can barely eat.  Can barely drink.  Can’t sleep.  These things are unnatural to the earth’s revolution.  I swear I can remember being around him like it was yesterday.  Remember looking at my school photos the last time I was in Seattle and seeing him in two of my class pictures.  He shouldn’t be gone.  And it’s foolish to get in the why or the how, but to be stolen the way he was stolen is something I can’t forgive.  It’s times like these that I wish karma was real.  

Today I tried reapplying to a job that I was told to step away from.  It’s one of those things that seems like a good idea to do for many reasons, but in the back of your mind you wonder whether it’s worth it, at all.  It was a way to pass the time today, I guess.  I went to two locations in Brooklyn to try and apply.  One gave me an obvious run around.  The attempt to get me to think that the person I needed to talk to was going to actually show up.  I must have waited 20 minutes for him and then I realized that these people behind the front desk were just doing their job.  In fact, they did to me what I used to do to other people sometimes.  Like I said, it’s crazy to be on both sides of the table.  They also seemed to be a little turned off when they found out I actually knew something about the job.  They almost acted defensive like I was trying to take their job.  And I get it, but they need not worry.  I just want their job the minimal amount possible.  A day a week.  Two days a week tops.  At the third and fourth locations I actually was freaking myself out with my own energy.  I was too aggressive.  The words were stumbling out of mouth instead of comporting like the calm individual that usually snags the job.  It can be weird sometimes to be in that self-conscious state where your mouth is moving and every passing second is met with so much judgment that you end up appearing erratic and a little all over the place.  

Sometimes I get bored in my room and look at my wardrobe and realize that, by and large, I’ve had the same clothes for years.  Maybe nothing dates as far back as high school, but some of these things have been sported in heavy rotation.  Luckily no one has clowned on me because of it.  And then again, maybe that means that nobody really gives two fucks about what I wear except for me.  You either look good or you look like shit.  Does it really matter either way?  I remember going through those childish phases of thinking I wanted a closet full of jerseys.  One for every day of the week, plus some.  Then later on, when I created a clothing line of some sorts, I remember telling myself that one day I only wanted to wear my own clothes.  To hell with buying designer brands and shit with labels.  If anything, I was gonna rock my own label.  There was also that period of time in high school when I participated in Global Visionaries and before we left for Guatemala we were discouraged to bring any articles of clothing with labels on it.  I don’t remember exactly why, but for the most part everybody stayed true to the demands.  It carried over to my life back home when I got back.  I started to get a lot of regular tees and regular pants without the big labels and flashy designs I used to really enjoy rocking back in middle school and early high school.  The Eckos and the Sean Johns.  Etc.

I wonder stupid things a lot of the time.  I wonder if sometimes I wonder stupid things more than wondering intelligently.  Does anyone else go into a super nice house filled with books and wonder whether those books are just for show or if the person is as avid of a reader as their bookshelves suggest.  It’s one of those things that certainly gives a vibe.  Intellectual.  Learned.  Studious.  Shit, I know that my bookshelf back home was mainly filled with books I wanted to read.  I’d get up in the morning, see the books in the corner and think to myself, “There goes an ambitious guy right there.  He’s gonna read those books, someday.”  I wonder what my count is like.  Books I’ve read vs. books I was going to read vs. the amount of times I’ve read Harry Potter.  I wonder if people subscribe Harry Potter to children suffering from chronic lethargy.  I wouldn’t be surprised if it was scientifically proven to boost testerone and or one’s passion levels.  Those books have magic in them, I’m telling you.  One day, way off in the future, I’m gonna buy some crazy shit at an auction that promises to take me to Harry Potter land.  It’s gotta be out there somewhere, right?  I also saw in the papers and on social media that someone created Diagon Alley in Seattle.  Is this true?  Can I get my wand?  Can I talk to Ollivander?  Can I get an owl?  These are vital questions.  Which reminds me, I gotta go to Harry Potter land at Universal Studios.

My roommate has this thing in our main area called “Alexa.”  She is basically Siri on crack.  You can literally just say, “Hey Alexa…” followed by any question or request and she’ll do her best to answer it or get it for you.  I’ll be honest, it’s kind of a scary device and as long as she’s plugged in, she’s pretty much listening to everything that’s being said, even if we don’t call her out beforehand.  It got me thinking…that’s damn near like having a microphone in your room listening to every single word.  That’s some Big Brother type stuff.  I was wondering if she could be used as evidence when crimes occur in the house, if that were ever going to happen, at all.  I mean, obviously she’s not a camera, but sound can be used, too!  I have enough problems and scares with Siri.  The fact there are microphones that are damn near robots that exist in our phones and are standing at attention 24/7 is mind boggling.  This is 2017.  What’s it gonna look like five years from now.  How will the powers that be keep their eyes on us.  Who knows?  I’ll tell you this much.  If certain powers that be continue to be in power for the next seven years, then Alexa will be the very least of our problems.  Years ago I remember—or wait, maybe it was the movie “Enemy of the State” that said there are key words that send signals to security organizations when mentioned on the phone.  That was a movie and that was 1999.  It’s 2017.  Food for thought.

As you can probably tell I’ve decided to write last minute again, so in being unfair to my creative energies I’m struggling a bit to find topics to talk about.  I’m not sure if it’s the current situation or the fact that I’m nearing the end of the year, so naturally coming up with 365 different things to discuss or observe or talk about has its own challenges.  I was on a YouTube binge earlier today looking at interviews on the VLAD TV channel.  Two interviews I’ve been watching lately have been Michael Rapaport, the sports shit talking captain of the world right now and DeRay Davis, a comedian and arts professional whose work I greatly admire.  Michael Rapaport was going in on the lack of respect these younger NBA guys have today, specifically Lonzo Ball.  He can’t stand the Ball family.  He calls it “Big Baller…uh Bullshit.  His words are hot right now and he knows what to say to rile up the people and get conversations going.  He’s a diehard Knick fan and a huge LeBron hater, so much to the point where he looks ridiculous talking shit about the best player in the league right now.  Meanwhile, DeRay Davis is basically going in on true Hollywood stories.  His demeanor has changed as of late.  He used to be clowning nonstop on people, but recently has changed his approach.  His latest special on Netflix was a little disappointing.  Great material, but subpar execution.  Maybe it was because I watched it after Hasan Mihnaj’s special.  That might have been unfair.  

I was talking to this girl the other day about how cool it was to be in Uptown sometimes because all of the young boys and girls would be wearing their bat bags with the bottom of the bat poking out of the top of the backpack.  All of them looked like they had been playing since diapers.  They had that attitude, that way of carrying themselves that gave me the impression that they were not to be fucked with on that baseball diamond.  I remember a couple times earlier this year when my guy from the gym, Rafael, and I would meet up and play catch in front of Yankee Stadium.  I was high falootin and cocky about warming up and still being able to throw the ball as far as I usually could except Rafael put me to shame.  He was a catcher.  (He ended up going to play D1 ball in the midwest).  By the time we were done throwing and I was done trying to show off my forearm would hurt like a mug and he was still firing lasers from the backstop to second base.  All those days growing up, never icing my arm.  My arm is still fine today.  I wonder what it will be like years from now.  I wonder when those potential signs could come back to haunt me.  Maybe they won’t.  No need, mother nature.  I’m fine just the way I am, thank you.  Tell you this, though.  My kids are gonna be icing their arms.  As much as they need to.  As much as they want to.  It’s time to sleep.

[junker-town]

Australian Open 2017: Finals matchups could have a retro feel

After the No. 1 seeds fell, the remaining matchup possibilities look like the early 2000s all over again.

In early 2003, Daredevil was about to top How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days for the top grossing movie in America, Andy Roddick was preparing for his best year of tennis, and 21-year-old Serena Williams beat 22-year-old Venus Williams for the Australian Open title.

It was their fourth straight final against each other (they would make it five of six at Wimbledon later that year), but this one, a 7-6, 3-6, 6-4, Serena victory, was possibly the best match of the bunch.

In early 2009, Lady Gaga's "Just Dance" had just toppled Beyonce's "Single Ladies" on the pop charts, America had just inaugurated Barack Obama in front of a record crowd in Washington DC (that's an actual fact, not an alternative fact), and 22-year-old Rafael Nadal beat 27-year-old Roger Federer in five grueling sets to take the Australian Open title.

It was the duo’s third finals meeting in the last four slams; Nadal had won all three.

They have met only once in a slam final since.

These four players — Williams, Williams, Nadal, and Federer — have combined for 60 slam titles (22 for Serena, 17 for Federer, 14 for Nadal, seven for Venus) and 29 other finals appearances. They are all-time greats with infallible résumés and unmeasurable cultural impact. They are also old, or getting there. Only Nadal is under 35, and his grueling style of play means he has as many miles on odometer as the others.

Serena aside, it is perhaps too much to ask for these three to win slams or reach No. 1 in the world anymore. But it’s impossible not to long for another run or two. And we might be getting one (or more) as we speak.

In the middle of Saturday night in the States, the tennis world got turned upside down, but depending on your perspective, it might have just turned back rightside up.

Photo by Clive Brunskill/Getty Images

CoCo Vandeweghe shellacked top-seeded Angelique Kerber in the Australian Open quarterfinals.

In the fourth round of the Australian Open, as some were going to bed, men's No. 1 seed Andy Murray got upset by 29-year-old journeyman Mischa Zverev; Zverev was to date mostly known for being the older brother of rising star Alexander Zverev.

Then, as some were waking up on Sunday morning, women's No. 1 seed Angelique Kerber was getting blown off the court by American CoCo Vandeweghe. At the end of the 6-2, 6-3 shellacking, Vandeweghe hit a service winner, then shrugged and strutted to the net.

In tennis, every major upset becomes a referendum. If a top seed doesn't win, that can be either a sign of great depth or poor star power. Fair or (more probably) unfair, the conventional wisdom drifts toward the former in the men's tennis world and the latter in the women's.

Only three combined top-four seeds in the two draws have advanced to the quarterfinals. Most notably, men’s No. 2 seed Novak Djokovic, a six-time Aussie champion, lost to Denis Istomin in the second round.

Be it parity or depth, good or bad, tennis is staring at one of its strangest majors in quite a while ... as long as you're looking at the seeds, anyway. If you're looking only at names, there's something pretty familiar about all of this.

In the middle of 2016's college football season, it looked like the 1990s all over again. Current and former powers like Nebraska, Washington, Colorado, Miami, and Michigan were in or hovering near the top 10. It felt strange and familiar at the same time.

Meanwhile, in Melbourne, tennis has brought back the 2000s. Amid all the upsets and uncertainty, it is quite conceivable that we end up with Federer-Nadal and Venus-Serena finals.

That won’t be the case if seedings hold, of course. With chalk, we’d be looking at finals of Serena vs. Garbine Muguruza and Milos Raonic vs. Stan Wawrinka. Those would carry plenty of their own story lines — Williams-Muguruza would the third meeting between the two in a slam final (Muguruza beat Williams in last year’s French Open finals), while Raonic-Wawrinka would pit a 26-year-old looking for his first slam title (Raonic) vs. a 31-year-old three-time slam champ gunning for his second Aussie championship. Not bad.

Also not bad: the other story lines still in flight during this fortnight.

Karolina Pliskova (quarterfinal opponent: Mirjana Lucic-Baroni) is terrifying. The 6’1 Czech is the women’s fifth seed; she reached the U.S. Open finals last year by beating both Venus and Serena Williams, and she held a 3-1 lead over Kerber in the third set of the finals before faltering. The 24-year-old is a potential future No. 1, and while she had to go deep into a 10-8 third set to survive Jelena Ostapenko in the third round, she's won eight of nine sets thus far.

If Lucic-Baroni’s name sounds familiar, there’s a reason: At age 17, she reached the Wimbledon semifinals in 1999, beating Monica Seles in the early rounds before eventually losing in three tight sets to Steffi Graf. She dealt with an abusive father and money issues and spent about five years off the tour. A journeywoman for years, she pulled off one of her biggest wins against Radwanska last week, and she’s in her first slam quarterfinal in nearly 18 years. 18!

Jo-Wilfried Tsonga (quarterfinal opponent: Wawrinka) is in his fifth Aussie quarterfinal. He reached the finals in 2008, and while he’s reached at least one slam semifinal in five of eight years since, he hasn’t yet reached another final. At 31, he’s attempting to pull a Wawrinka, a late-career breakthrough.

Grigor Dimitrov (quarterfinal opponent: David Goffin) reached the Aussie quarterfinals and Wimbledon semifinals in 2014 and threatened to live up to an impossible “Next Federer” label. But his progress slowed. He briefly fell out of the top 30 in 2016 and advanced to even the fourth round of a major only twice in 2015-16.

Vandeweghe (quarterfinal opponent: Muguruza), the 6’1 niece of former NBA player Kiki Vandeweghe, has been in a limbo of sorts for quite a while. Her powerful game drove her to the 2015 Wimbledon quarterfinals, and she looked like an up-and-coming star for quite a while, but she won just four matches in four 2016 slams, and at 25, she is approaching now-or-never time in her career. Her win over Kerber was a significant "now."

Anastasia Pavlyuchenkova (quarterfinal opponent: V. Williams) is one of the best servers on the women's tour and experienced a breakthrough of sorts at age 20 in 2011. She reached the quarterfinals of both the French Open and U.S. Open and finished the year ranked 16th. But her ranking has waffled steadily since then, and from 2012-16, she advanced past the third round of a slam only once (2016 Wimbledon). She's still only 25, though, and just smoked No. 8 seed Svetlana Kuznetsova, 6-3, 6-3, in the fourth round.

Johanna Konta (quarterfinal opponent: S. Williams) is a 25-year-old Aussie-turned-Brit and hardcourt dynamo. She reached the semis of last year's Aussie Open before falling to Kerber, and she's reached the fourth round of the last two U.S. Opens. She rose from 47th at the end of 2015 to 10th at the end of 2016, and she has defended most of her Aussie points. She has yet to drop a set in this tournament.

No matter who advances, there will be entertainment value and intrigue.

Still, until they cease to be options, the thought of two throwback finals is intoxicating. First of all, there’s the comfort food aspect of it: familiar names in familiar locales. Beyond that, though, there’s the story of everything it has taken for these four grand champions to even get this far.

There’s also the simple fact that all four have looked tremendous Down Under. Federer destroyed No. 10 Tomas Berdych in the third round, then outlasted No. 5 Kei Nishikori in five sets in the fourth. Any lingering issues from the knee injury that cost him much of 2016 are invisible.

Nadal survived a five-setter against Alexander Zverev, then ground out a four-set win over No. 6 Gael Monfils. Meanwhile, Venus and Serena have yet to drop a set.

Photo by Scott Barbour/Getty Images

When Nadal topped Federer in 2009, it felt like his reign over the sport had ended. Nadal, with his defense, tenacity, and lefty power, was custom-built to defeat the once-untouchable Fed. Federer was particularly shaken up in the post-match awards ceremony, as if he knew his time was over.

He then proceeded to win three of the next four slams.

Nadal missed significant time with injury in 2012-13, then won three of the next five slams upon his return. Serena Williams missed most of 2010-11, turned 30 (Steffi Graf won her last slam at 29), then won nine more slams. Venus Williams battled injury after injury and didn't advance to the second week of a slam from 2011-14. She was back in the semifinals in last year's Wimbledon, and she's back in the top 10 now.

These four live to surprise. Do they have some more surprises in them over the next week?