#also im stuck in the 'more than friends but less than lovers' conundrum womp womp :
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I didn't get drunk for him, I got drunk for me <3
#it's like a reward#also im stuck in the 'more than friends but less than lovers' conundrum womp womp :/#he's so mean to me by not actually texting first but he's also self destructive like me so I don't know if he actually likes me#or maybe he just likes talking to someone that will do whatever he likes even after leaving me on read for days/A week#is it weird that i miss him? or embarrassed that im putting up with this even though I've never experienced anything romantic outside#this one man. the man that has told me so many intimate things about himself because he knew I'd forget about it in the morning#the same man that wouldn't talk to me if i hadn't talked to him first.the same man that i trauma dump on#im not an innocent person in this situation but he says that im an “amazing person” but I don't know if i can believe that#why do i love him so much#for fucks sake why can't i stop thinking about this man when i know that im an afterthought for him#i hate this but it's not like I'll stop
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