#also if you don't mind waiting 4-6 business weeks for a reply you are more than welcome to still send them but like

[queerofthedagger]

this always sounds so "oh look at me with my asks and all" and i'm aware this isn't my job or whatever but. I'm SO sorry to everyone who's sent me asks the last couple of weeks/months, I promise I'll get to them soon. I just have such a backlog that I gotta take an afternoon at some point, and right now I'm fighting for my life against 4 different fest deadlines, not to mention having like. real life commitments, outrageous as that is, so pls do have a little more patience 🥲🥹🫶

[be-missed]

Not Strong Enough (Chap 5)

Jenna Ortega x Fem!Reader

(pictures not mine)

Summary: Jenna was visiting her mom in the hospital to drop off the food that will be eaten for the hospital party, but she met a resident surgeon and she thought "God forbid I ran into an accident, but I want her to open me and stitch me up." While the surgeon tries her best to keep her fan girling low-key.

Warning: curse words.

A/N: 5th chapter, thank you for waiting. I'll be using a different POV her, please tell me if this is better or no. Also, I think if I start using this POV, y'all need to be guessing what's inside of Jenna's (in the story) mind.

Masterlist

Chap 1 | Chap 2 | Chap 3 | Chap 4 | Chap 6

______________________________________________________________

Chap 5

"Hey, thanks for today, I really enjoyed the concert. See you around!"

You kept on reading the last text message that Jenna sent you after the concert. In the past few days, you are trying to keep your distance from the girl that you have been liking for some quite time now. After the concert, listening to the songs, it feels like you are having a revelation; you can't and you won't be the love of her life you thought.

So what you did was to be more productive than you are to stop yourself from thinking of the other girl and checking your phone. In the hospital when Jenna visits, you try to lessen your interaction and dismisses her telling that you are busy and needed in the surgery room. But one time, Jenna caught you seating in the chairs and watching a video on your phone. You didn't know that she'll go visit and unfortunately she asked around and asked what time is your break.

You were watching Melissa Barrera's 'Get To Bed With Me' YouTube video for Harper's Bazaar. "So, you are on a break, right?" You heard from your side and that got you surprised, it is Jenna's voice and you answered "Hey, I didn't know you were coming." and she chuckles and said "I came to surprise you, you were always on the go when I visit" she said and sat beside you.

You look at her whole figure intently, nothing has change, still the same chipped nail polish from the concert, same chuck taylors that she loves to wear, her headphone hanging around her neck, that necklace she wears sometimes when she is in the mood and a few rings.

"Yeah, I'm really sorry... there's a lot that's been going around here" you said with a sad smile and Jenna answered "No worries, I'm just glad I get to talk to you." and smiled at you.

Why does she need to smile like you are the softest thing that she have ever seen. "So, I just noticed, I mean I don't want to assume, because like, you know, it's not good, but I would like t you know, ask maybe, or like no, I've been meaning to tell you-" Jenna started to rumble but you held her hand and squeezed it and said "Hey you're rambling, it's ok breathe."

"Okay, I noticed that you are kinda ignoring me. You haven't replied to my message last last week, you have been ignoring me when I go here, I mean yes, we talk in facetime but you end it so quickly. I just... I miss you." Those words came out of Jenna's mouth.

She misses you. SHE MISSES YOU.

"Oh..." You started "I'm sorry if you feel like that, but I have been really really busy." You ended. But you feel like Jenna knows that you are lying to her.

"Sure, I mean, I'm sorry to bother you." Jenna said and went up to stand but you stopped her "Hey, please don't think that you're bothering me, that can never happen" and you smiled at her.

"Okay..." Jenna said and accepted your answer "So, do you have any plans for Halloween?" she asked and you answered "Yes, actually My friends and I are having a Halloween Party, just the four of us since we can't handle big events" and ended with a laugh.

"That sounds really nice, what are you dressing up?" Jenna asked you with such curiosity and you answered "Well, I'll be dressing up as Mavis from Hotel Transylvania."

Jenna took a mental note on that. The both of you heard a blaring sound and a voice said "Code Blue" and that alerted you.

"Hey, I'll be calling you, I am needed, duty calls." You said and kissed Jenna's cheeks and hugs her and you bolted out.

---

"Y/N please stop walking around, please" Ava stated while you pace around the break room with you friends watching you like you were in a loop. Beatrice enters the room, kissed her wife and looked at you weirdly.

"What is happening here?" Bea asked and her wife answered, "Well your friend here kissed her little princess, IN THE CHEEK." Ava exaggerated the last words that made Bea chuckle and said "Wow, a kiss on the cheek made you like that, how about when you get to kiss her." and the wives made fun of you that made you stop from pacing.

"GUYS! This isn't even funny!" You said that made the both of them laugh even more, "Chill down Y/N, girl friends kiss each other in the cheek." Beatrice emphasize the space between girl and friends "And please calm your thoughts down, try to stay in the present and no overthink yeah." Beatrice added.

"Okay, sure sure, I will try" you sat beside them and drink your water.

"So are you ready for our Halloween Party?" Ava asked and you just nodded "Okay, I can't wait to see you in your costume."

---

"TRICK OR TREAT" Those are the three words that the four of them hearing while they are having a dinner and playing monopoly.

"Damn, it's so late and there are kids outside." Ava stated as you went up and opened the door to give them candies and give them compliments for the effort that they did for their costume.

As you take your seat again "You can't blame them. I'd be walking the whole neighborhood just to get lots of candies" and rolled the dice, you moved your character that landed on boardwalk. You hollered and celebrated as you got the most expensive property in the game.

"That's not fair Y/N, you need to leave some property for us." Camila exclaimed while pouting like a little kid, "Oh stop it, you almost owned all of the land on the other side."

Beatrice gave you a house and the card for the boardwalk. Another knock on the door and a "Trick or Treat" can be heard, with a happy feeling, knowing that you'll be crashing Ava and Camila in the game, you happily get the bucket of candy and opened the door, and it stunned you.

Jenna was the one that is in front of the door, with her little cousins.

As you scanned her face, you could also see a surprised look, she probably doesn't assume that you will be the one opening the door and will be giving them the treats.

"Hey..." you said with the brightest smile, feeling like a fucking winner even if the game hasn't ended, but looking at Jenna with her orange long sleeve under a yellow jersey T-shirt, cargo shirt, and on her adidas rubber shoes. You intake in everything that is on her and she replied back with a smirk on her face "Hey back to you beautiful."

"Can I get my candies now?" You hear a littlw voice and you looked down and answered "Sure sweetie, here get anything you want" and almost gave all of the candies to Jenna's cousin.

"Whoa there, that's a lot for you miss." Jenna exclaimed seeing that you almost empty the candy bucket that you have.

"Didn't know you live around our block?" Jenna said and you answered "Oh no, this is not mine, this is actually where Ava and Beatrice lives" and scratched your head, "You wanna join our party?" you asked Jenna and she answered "Oh I would like to, but as you can see I'm tasked to bring the kids to trick or treat"

That made you sad because you won't be hanging with Jenna.

"But... I can come after we round the whole block if that's alright?" She asked and that made you smile and you answered "Sure, that's great" and you watched them walking away. The both of you shared a small wave.

As you went back to the table, you said to the group " I hope it's okay that I invited someone later?" and that made them look at you "It's just Jenna, so I hope you don't mind?"

"Wow, so now you got the guts to invite her huh? But yeah, it's okay for me, how about you my love?" Bea said and Ava nodded because her mouth is currently full with m&m.

"It's about damn time I get to meet her. I'll show her how I fucking nailed Wednesday's dance" Camila exclaimed and both you and Beatrice said "Please no."

---

An hour passed and the four of you are just watching a horror film when the doorbell rang. When you opened the door, you saw Jenna standing with a wine on her hand.

"Hey you didn't need to bring something" you said and Jenna answered "I think it's good to impress your friends" and the both of you entered the living room that made the other three stare at you.

Beatrice paused the movie and Camila said "Wow, you got your whole costume planned huh?" and that made you look at her questionly.

You then scanned Jenna's costume, orange long sleeves under a yellow jersey T-Shirt, a cargo short, and a rubber shoes. That's where it clicked, SHE WAS DRESS AS JOHNNY, Mavis' husband.

"Surprise" Jenna said in a little voice and looked at you worriedly.

You bit your lips and said "Well good to see you husband." You kissed her cheeks again and pull her to the sofa to the spot where you were seated earlier and the movie continued.

"I hope it's okay" Jenna whispered and that made you look at her, you were so close to her face, the lights of the TV illuminated her face, and that just took your breath away.

"What do you mean?" You asked, a bit of perplexed on what she's asking. "I dressed up as Johnny" she said.

You thought, why would she feel sorry for dressing up as your husband, as Mavis' husband? Because what she just did for her costume, being in a couple costume with you, sent you heart beating impossibly fast that you fear it will just stop and Jenna will be seeing you body lying on the floor while your three friends are trying to perform a cpr on you.

"No worries, I kinda like how you played it off, it looks good on you." You said and if the lights were on, you will notice how the blush on Jenna's face creeps in. "You are beautiful as well Y/N" Jenna said.

"Can we please now watch" Camila said to the both of you because she is just literally seating close to the both of you, which made the both of you said your apologise quietly and sat comfortably beside each other.

The night went on, and the five of you finished two movies. Beatrice and Ava are now cleaning the living room while you clean the dining room which leaves Camila and Jenna in the living room.

Camila broke the silence and said "I really liked you on Wednesday." and that made Jenna smile and said a thank you, Camila then continued "You know, if I may, I can show you how I perfected the dance you did in the ball" Camila stands up in the middle of the living room and within a second you tackled Camila into the floor, not wanting to make Jenna feel uncomfortable since you have watched a lot of her interviews about the Wednesday dance and also you are concerned about your friend who can't really dance to save her life.

"WHAT THE FUCK Y/N" Camila exclaimed and pushed you off of her "I'm sorry, I just missed you" you answered while you are still lying on the floor.

Jenna went to you and helped you up "Are you okay?" she asked and you just nodded.

"That was not fair Y/N, I was about to show Jenna my dancing skills" Camila said with a pout on her lips, and that just made you giggle.

Jenna buts in and said "Maybe you can show me next time when we meet each other again."

But that just made your head shakes for a no, earning a few "no" that can be heard from Bea and Ava.

Finishing up and gathering your things, you said your goodbye to Ava, Bea, and Camila. Jenna by your side walking towards the street.

"Thanks for inviting me tonight" Jenna said kicking stones that got in her way.

You looked at her like a little kid, thinking it was fun to see her like this, enjoying herself and being young & free. "No problem, I love having you around and the girls have been wanting to meet you since they only got to greet you in the hospital" you said.

"Really? I'm glad to hear that. I also enjoyed spending time with them" She said.

Walking a few more streets and you were nearing Jenna's house. No small talks were made, only the noise of the neighborhood can be heard and your small hums.

Jenna the breaks the silence "I just noticed that you always invite me to do something while I just go and say yes."

"Well, I like hanging out with you" you answered, because it is true. You know for yourself that even if you don't have any feelings for Jenna, you would enjoy her company.

"How about if you come to our Family dinner next time, sounds good?" Jenna suggested and it surprised you. How come you got invited to a Family Dinner and that made you super shy because you will gonna be surrounded with Jenna's family and you were scared that they will not like you. But then you reminded yourself to calm down and live on the now.

"Uhmm sure, if that's okay with your family, I don't want to intrude" you answered and Jenna smiled and said "Oh trust me they would love you there, my mom was also planning in inviting you, she said you are like a daughter to her"

Wow, Natalie has plans on inviting you, that was the first time you heard that. You know that you and Natalie have this bond and you feel so treasured and loved, thinking that Natalie thought of you more like her daughter.

Stepping in front of the Ortega's front door, you and Jenna faced each other earning a sweet smile on both of your faces.

"Thank you for tonight" Jenna said.

That moment, this moment, you were so sure that you wanted to kiss Jenna, you are thinking, you have stopped yourself many times to not kiss her so maybe this is a good chance to let go and just kiss her. Live on the now, you think. Your heart beating loud and you try to block the negative thoughts.

So one of your hand went into Jenna's side, you were slowly leaning in, waiting for a movement from the other girl to pull away and you felt none, so you persisted and you felt that Jenna was also leaning in, placing her hands into your shoulder.

A flashing of lights and a honk is heard that broke you apart. The windows rolled down and you saw Jenna's dad waving, getting down the car and going towards the both of you.

"Hey girls, hope I'm not interrupting something?" said and hugged Jenna and looked at you.

You introduced yourself "Good evening Sir, I'M Y/N, Jenna's friend and Natalie's co-worker.' and stretched your hand to shake his hand which he did shake and exclaimed "So you are who's Jenna is talking about, huh?"

Jenna nudged her father "Dad, please stop" which made her father laugh and said "Well, if you are hungry you can go inside and dig in." and leave the both of you outside again.

You broke the silence and said "Well, I'm gonna go home" you take Jenna's hand and kissed the back of it, "Good night my husband" You said with a teasing smile referring to Jenna's costume and you started to walk down their front yard.

Jenna then said "Good night to you my wife, call me when you're home" and blow you a kiss which you catch and kept it in your pocket that made Jenna laugh.

And that maybe was the greatest Halloween that you could have ever have in you whole life.

______________________________________________________________

Chap 6

A/N: an update, hope this was good. Thanks for reading!

[cher-rei]

afterglow– pt 9 [ T.A.A ]

pairings: trent alexander arnold x fem!reader

summary: young and aspiring marketing and business major jamie carter (you) is privileged with working alongside the liverpool marketing and public relations team while also getting entangled with their star player and right back, trent alexander arnold.

genre(s): friends to lovers, fluff, should definitely add the slowburn tag

[w.c: 6.6k] [part 1] [part 2] [part 3] [part 4] [part 5] [part 6] [part 7] [part 8] [part 10] [part 11] [part 12]

notes: buckle up, because this one is one hell of a ride

"does this christmas tree look weird?"

clara looked up at you from the shopping cart, her nose scrunched at the fact that you were standing next to the tree in all sorts of positions— your excuse being that it needed to match your aesthetic as well as your new apartment's.

yes, the time for the big move has finally arrived 2 weeks before christmas. all your boxes had been moved over through the course of you packing them, and today was the day that you and clara got to work.

"I think you look weird," she shot back, earning a fake laugh that made her smile but you took her advice and carried on looking until you opted for the original.

the two of you continued to roam around ikea like two lost puppies while vlogging the entire experience for your youtube channel. truth be told, it was the most relaxing experience that you'd both had in weeks.

not only was the move taking up more time than you'd originally thought, but the number of press conferences, sponsor shoots, and preparation for the team's channel content was burying you alive. you weren't complaining obviously because this was your job.

but sleep had become a foreign concept once more.

"jamie, we have an interview with virgil set up for wednesday, we need you on that."

"are all the reporters in the press conference room? make sure that harvey doesn't say anything too bad this time around please. we can't have a repeat of last time."

"are the graphics for sunday's match ready?"

"ms carter we're set to film in the next 20 minutes, are you miced up?"

"jamie!" you were snapped back by clara yelling your name, loud enough that a few heads turned to look your way. you perked up with a hum and she nudged you on with a skeptical look.

she continued to push the shopping cart, with you walking beside her. "sorry my mind is flooding with--"

"--thoughts of a certain someone?" she eagerly interjected but you were quick to shut her down with a disapproving look.

you shook your head. "work clara. I'm thinking about work."

your friend wasn't too pleased with your answer though and brushed it off with a sceptical hum but you didn't bother to try and defend yourself. there was no reason to anyway, you'd be fighting an invisible war.

your little ikea trip came to an end after another hour, and you were left with 3 shopping carts and the question of how you were going to fit all this in your car. you both stared blankly at all the shopping bags on the floor, not a thought behind your eyes.

"why don't we just come back for the bags later?"

clara turned to look at you, a hiccup in her voice as she agreed with you until it hit her. "wait are we allowed to do that? what if they steal our things?"

the normal thing to do in this situation would be to call for help, perhaps your dad for some extra support but nope. not here and not when you two were together. all basic logic flew out the window the second you stepped anywhere near clara, and today was no different.

with your hands rested on your hips you had a minute to think before snapping your fingers. "we'll just label the bags and give them to the cashier duh."

this was going to be a long day.

spamjam._. added to their story

trentarnold66 replied to your story

trentarnold66 are we moving already??

spamjam._. we?? 😀

trentarnold66 you know what I mean, don't even.

spamjam._. 😭😭 yes I'll be in by today. why? were you hoping for a house warming party?

trentarnold66 oh definitely not. I'm sure your 3 friends wouldn't pitch anyway

I'm just upset that I don't have your address anymore. no more surprise visits ig 😓

spamjam._. I'm flattered that you think I have 3 friends 🤭 and yes I will be locking my door to stop those surprise visits

trentarnold66 it's okay. I'll just ask clara because she's super nice

spamjam._. I will end your bloodline bro don't you dareee

speak of the devil, she's calling me to come and help her. you're a distraction!! I have unpacking to do😭😭

trentarnold66 don't blame me for your problems and get back to packing

spamjam._. ??? jump [liked by trentarnold66]

"oh my god I think we're done."

you huffed out in exhaustion at clara's question, stood in the living room after you had just fluffed up the last of your throw pillows.

you didn't know how to answer, not knowing if that really was all the decoration done because there might just be one more box hiding somewhere, but your doubt quickly vanished into relief. you nodded slightly in your friend's direction with a smile of disbelief.

you swear that tears had formed in her eyes, and you felt the same. utterly exhausted and relieved. "we're done!!"

clara didn't waste a second and pulled you into an excited embrace that had you jumping up and down and squealing until you flopped down onto the sofa to finally take in the finished product of your first official apartment.

just the feeling of being in a place that you could call your own made your stomach jump. the interior design, the aesthetic— it was all so you. it was cosy and didn't feel the slightest bit empty, the walls littered with artwork, empty spaces decorated with plants, and your furniture being the cherry on top.

it felt like home.

after a few minutes of resting, you checked the time to see that it was well past midnight and even though it was friday, both you and clara had to head into the office the following day for a quick meeting and finalisation for sunday's match against manchester united.

by the time that you were all done showering and getting your things in order, you huddled yourself next to clara on the sofa in front of the t.v. the second you put off the big lights for your lamps, an indescribable feeling settled on your chest an--

"do it," clara said suddenly, drawing your attention away from the t.v.

your eyebrows furrowed in confusion, not knowing what she was talking about. your friend sighed heavily and muttered something under her breath before leaning over and grabbing hold of your phone.

she waved it in front of your face with a lopsided smile. "shoot. your. shot "

"excuse me? who am I shooting exactly?"

your answer didn't amuse her by the looks of it but you didn't worry because you were genuinely confused.

clara leant in a bit closer, "don't play dumb with me. I know what you are. I saw those messages."

it took a moment for you to finally grasp what she was saying and an elongated "ohhhh" left your lips. she mimicked your answer teasingly and shoved your phone back into your palm with a knowing look.

you tried your best to explain that those messaged were just simple fun and jokes but clara insisted that it was way more than that.

"are you reading these texts jamie?? he's flirting with you!!"

you paused to look her up and down for a moment. "are you mental?" you deadpanned.

clara looked as if she was about to blow a fuse, muttering something to herself while you sat with your lips slightly parted in confusion. funny enough this wasn't this first time that she was acting this strange, it had been every few days for the past two weeks.

you didn't understand why it was such a big issue. you and trent were getting slightly closer sure, but clara was pushing it. have you told her about your almost non-existent feelings for him? of course, she was your closest friend.

but something was off with her. even at work when you'd be around them during training or busy with the p.r filming, clara would nudge you into his direction. something was up, and you needed it out.

"clara," you started firmly. "what do you know?"

something flashed on her face for a split second and she averted her gaze to the t.v. "I don't know what you're talking about. I'm just saying that--"

she truly was a horrible liar.

"you're doing a horrible job at covering this up, don't just sit there and act confused." your eyebrows narrowed at her silence, a meak look on her eyes. "out with it then."

she sighed and ran a hand through her hair in frustration, you could even see a tint of red at the tips of her ears. clara was stubborn, and you were growing impatient.

she looked at you for a moment before relaxing her shoulders. "life isn't some fairy tale you know?"

what the hell is this girl talking about?

"like--" she looked up at the ceiling in thought. "--we can't expect the universe to sense our romantic feelings and magically play things in our favour."

you blinked at her a few times. "bro what the hell are you saying??"

faster than you could register, clara grabbed you by the shoulders with a look of determination in your eyes. "I'm saying make a move because no one is going to make it for you! this isn't some feet kicking, giggly rom com!"

clara's words were like a slap to the face, leaving you just as stunned. you didn't know how to respond to her, only being able to part your lips with no words falling from them.

your cellphone that was in her hand was now pressed tighly against your chest, with clara looking at you with gentle encouragement even though her words were far from it.

"okay, friends to lovers I guess." she raised her eyebrows slightly. "so about how you work on the lovers part instead of taking three steps back whenever you take one forward, you fucking coward!"

christmas had passed and it was a week into the new year. what better way to start the new year than to play arsenal in the fa cup third round? the year started off well at least, with the 4-2 win against newcastle.

you were fully settled into your new apartment, as well as your sister in london. the only thing bugging you, was clara being the equivalent of a mosquito— or a better yet, a parasite that kept reminding you of "the deal".

the deal being you asking trent on one friendly date and she'll leave you alone, and never mention anything remotely close to your love life again. you said yes as a way to get her out of your hair, but instead the exact opposite happened.

so you were planning on swallowing whatever pride you had and ask him to come over to your apartment just to chill. okay, that's definitely not what you were going to say, because that just sounded pathetic and extremely embarrassing.

just the thought alone, made you cringe.

the team arrived at the emirates stadium at 4 p.m that sarurday afternoon. the weather was a bit warmer than it had been the past few weeks, and you were quite excited for the match to be honest. you had a hunch today, or maybe you were just hungry.

you followed the camera crew out to the pitch and helped them set up before doing the necessary media procedure (making your promotional tiktoks). the first hour for setting up was always fun for you, it was quieter but to be left alone on the pitch was always something.

at some point, you even tried to teach clara how to do some warm-up drills. it would have her clapping her hands in excitement and saying, "I remember that from training."

the two of you messed around with the camera crew for a bit and documented your first trip to the emirates stadium. it was insane to think that you'd only had this job for 4 months, the most eventful yet peaceful months ever to be honest.

"why does their grass look greener than ours?" clara asked in distaste as she looked down at the ground, tapping her foot lightly.

you joined her and averted your gaze to the "greener" grass and shook your head. "It's not." you waved your hands in the air. "the air is different here or something, so it seems greener."

clara hummed in agreement, tapping her finger to her temple. "mind games. london is crazy dude."

you laughed at her comment, until the realisation began to seep in ever so slowly. "london." you muttered under your breath and put your hands on your head, causing clara to grow concerned. "shit, we're in london."

your friend gave you a look that screamed, "well no duh", but you were in fight or flight mode, saying that you needed to leave immediately which was so stupid.

"I can't be here. wait, no I'm just being dramatic. but what if I'm not?? what if I'm not being dramatic clara???"

she was dumbfounded at your sudden mood shift and nonsensical rambling, and was about to try and get any sort of coherent information but you were interrupted by a staff member calling your name since the dressing room was ready for a few more clips.

you didn't spare clara another glance and tried your best to calm yourself down as you entered the dressing room, debating with yourself on whether or not you were going insane. it took a bit but you managed to collect your thoughts and rethink the situation.

I'm just being dramatic.

you took one last breath and turned to the door, only to be met with a very confused harvey and cody. the two just stared a you for a moment, and you weren't quite sure why since it was normal for you to be in the dressing room before a game.

"I told you," harvey shook his head and looked at cody. "she's straight up talking to herself right now."

"I was what?" you asked quickly with widened eyes and cody was the one to answer this time.

"you were chanting 'I'm not being dramatic' over and over." there wasn't a hint of uncertainty in his tone which made you feel slightly embarrassed, only for mo to walk from behind them and ask what the hold up was since they were standing in the doorway.

harvey took a few cautious steps towards you. "jamie's either a witch or mentally ill." he mocked a gasp with his hand in front of his mouth. "or maybe she's a mentally ill witch."

you lunged towards him in retaliation but he managed to slither his way through the rest of the boys who were still coming in, their looks of confusion not going unnoticed. he played it safe and hid behind ibou , who preferred not to play mediator and gave him a slap on the back of his head, causing him to yell out in pain.

he tsked at the younger boy. "and you wonder why she has it out for you"

just as you put your phone back into your pocket, a light knock echoed through the now-filled room. in the doorway, stood clara who was there to fetch you for the last staff debrief. you gave harvey one last look up and down before bidding your goodbye to the rest of the team.

you joined clara as she strolled through the corridors, no haste in her step at all for some reason. she didn't say much either which worried you, so you took the initiative to ask her what was up but she didn't answer.

instead, her eyes perked up and you turned to look at what caught her attention, only to see trent walking in with his headphones on and his attention glued to his phone. the desperate look you gave clara didn't suffice, and the two of you ended up having a small whispered argument.

you shook your head vigorously as she gestured to trent who was still walking in your direction to get to the dressing room. all you had to do was walk past him without drawing attention to yourself, and you promised clara that you'd ask him after the match but she was stubborn and insisted on it happening that very moment.

"jamie I'm sorry, I love you I promise."

before you could object, she shoved you a little harsher than expected and instead of lightly nudging trent on the side like she thought you would, you ended up bumping into him in a full collision.

luckily nothing fell out of his hands, seeing as he was too startled and perhaps clara thought that he would catch you by the waist just in time— but this wasn't some fairytale! instead, he held onto his belongings tighter and watched in shock as you hit the wall, shoulder first.

"are you okay?" trent lowered his headphones and turned his attention to you. you couldn't even bring yourself to meet his gaze, but you had to suck it up despite the amount of pain you were in.

you muffled a painful hum in response and waved his concern off. "yeah, sorry I was just--" you turned to look at where clara previously was but she was gone. "--that bitch," you muttered through a gritted smile, thinking of the ways that you were going to make her life hell later on.

"excuse me?" trent asked, not sure if you were talking to him which caused the red on your face to deepen.

"nothing," you laughed awkwardly and stood up properly, your arms folded over your chest. "I just wanted to say hi... I guess."

he accounted for the uncertainty in your answer but didn't bring it up, only feining a lopsided smile. "well that was quite the entrance, super dramatic."

you faked a laugh at his joke and blinked a few times. "yeah, you know me and being dramatic. you can't have one without the other." your tongue poked the side of your cheek at the irony of your answer.

a moment of silence enveloped the two of you again as the awkward encounter came to an end because trent needed to get to the dressing room. you moved to the side and let him past, internally battling with yourself for wasting the opportunity but you called him back before he was too far off.

trent looked down at you, the shimmer in his eyes having you frozen in spot for a moment. "I wanted to know if you were..." you had no idea how you were supposed to ask him at all, you didn't think that practice was needed.

"like tomorrow since we have the day off, would you..."

this was pathetic. you were pathetic, fumbling over your words for something this stupid. it was so unlike you to be this nervous, which made it even more awkward.

trent gave you another moment before his lips tugged up into a smile. "yes I would."

you swallowed the lump in your throat. "you don't even know what I was going to say."

he simply shrugged his shoulders. "whatever you want, I'm down for. and as much as I'd love to continue this little back and forth, I really need to go. but I'll see you later okay?"

you nodded. all you could do was nod as you watched him walk away with the same amused smile on his lips when all you wanted to do was bury yourself alive. never again, this was never going to happen again. you wouldn't allow it.

you ran your fingers through your hair in an attempt to cool down your rising temperature. you were blushing for no reason at all. with your back against the wall, you took a few deep breaths only to feel a nudge on your shoulder. you didn't bother opening your eyes, because if you did then all hell would break loose.

you could hear clara smiling from beside you as she leant in and whispered teasingly. "he's down for whatever you want," she giggled. "what do you want jamie?"

"I want you dead."

it was about 10 minutes before kick-off and both teams were on the pitch for their warm-ups, while the supporters settled in their seats and so far, everything was running as per normal.

you were doing your regular rounds with your camera around your neck, as well as your phone in hand to get some videos of the boys for extra content. you even got the opportunity to talk to a few of the arsenal players as well.

they were all extremely nice, asking about how you were finding your job so far and whatnot. it was a sweet interaction that you didn't expect from them, especially since this was a crucial match.

"you must be getting so cold right now," ali chuckled as he took a spot beside you on the pitch, leaning over to look at the pictures you were going through on the camera.

you scoffed. "being cold is a mindset, I'm perfectly fine right now."

your answer prompted a laugh from the older man who wasn't the slightest bit convinced. "I can see your goosebumps."

"you're delusional."

finally it was time for kick off, and you took your respective seat next to clara with the rest of the staff and huddled into your hoodie with your hands in your pocket. for the first 10 minutes of the first half, you couldn't help but feel that you were being watched.

normally you'd brush the feeling off, but today it felt different. so eventually you took the liberty of turning around and scouting the crowd to see if you could notice anyone, and just as you were about to give up someone in the crowd caught your eye.

your stomach dropped to the floor with a single moment of eye contact. it felt as if the world around you had stopped, the only thing catching your eye being the boy looking over your shoulder.

he looked no different than when you last saw him, just a bit more mature. as usual, he was sporting his arsenal jersey and scarf— the same jersey and scarf that you scolded him for wearing around you. the look in his eyes was unreadable, but his expression must've been just as shocked as yours.

you shifted your gaze to the person cuddled to his side, and to no surprise, there stood your ex-best friend. in the flesh, just as you started to move on the universe decided to give you the biggest reminder of your departure from london.

michael and kelly— your ex-boyfriend and your ex-best friend.

you couldn't break eye contact no matter how hard you tried and clara who wanted to comment on something about the match was victim to your daze. with her eyebrows furrowed she followed your gaze, her jaw dropping instantly.

something crept up your spine, and unfamiliar feeling that you couldn't shake off while trying to focus on the match in front of you.

"I wish I was a mentally ill witch right now."

[shrimplyfangtastic]

General Q&A

Hi hi! I was tagged by @gamingwithsydney in her reply to these General Q&A questions, so now it's my turn to have a go :D Thank you for the mention, Syd!!

Tagging people is still a daunting task, so instead I tag you, whoever happens to stumble upon this.

1. Named after anyone:

I... May or may not have legally changed my name to a favourite fictional character's of mine. Totally a coincidence, haha. Totally... ;)

But in terms of being named after family or a celebrity or something, no, neither of the names I've known were based on anyone in real life.

2. Last time I cried:

From a serious matter? The start of this week. From a not so serious but still kinda serious matter? Last night.

Nothing fucks me up more than realizing not all cats get a mwah mwah on their little foreheads before bed. Thinking about all the strays outside in the cold during this brutal weather is quite rough.

3. Kids:

I don't personally want to have children, ever, for multiple reasons.

Don't mind the idea of taking care of other people's children though! For a limited time. Nothing against children, I understand they're just little people finding their place in this big, wide world, but people in general quickly lead me to sensory overload so... Yeah, limited time please.

4. Sports:

Used to engage in a sporting activity! I haven't been able to for quite awhile, but maybe someday in the future I can find a way to return to it ^_^

5. First thing I noticed about someone:

Their hair, followed by their general aesthetic (Makeup, clothes, body modifications). Remembering people by face is rather difficult for me, so instead I rely on hair colour and fashion.

6. Eye colour:

Blue! But if I got the chance to choose, I'd love vibrant yellow-orange eyes. Maybe bright hot pink. I go back and forth on the idea of both pretty often XD

7. Scary movies or happy endings:

I love, love, LOVE horror, so scary movies all the way!

8. Talents:

I love me a good spreadsheet, so time management and organizational skills tend to come easily to me. Games, day to day routine, personal finances, reading, writing — If you can think it, I've made a spreadsheet and organizational system for it.

9. Place of birth:

🦘🦘 'STRAYA 🦘🦘

10. Hobbies:

Gaming, writing, drawing, reading, fashion doll collecting, and plenty more. Most of my time is split between the first two though :P

11. Pets:

One not-so-little little kitty cat, she's my baby and I love her so fucking much <3 She's got quite the entertaining personality XD

12. Height:

Average, I just look short because I surround myself with tall people...

13. Favourite school subject:

English was pretty fun, but I also rather enjoyed Psychology and Business.

14. Dream job:

I can't/won't go into specific detail, but I will say that next year I'll be commencing study at my dream uni, in my dream course :D I can't wait!!

And that's all of them! Thank you again Sydney for mentioning me in your post, this was a fun little Q&A <3 <3

[albertasunrise]

The Unexpected Gift - Part 9

Masterlist

Summary: When a baby girl is dropped on Javier Peña's doorstep with a note claiming she's his, he's suddenly thrust into fatherhood. With no clue what to do, he will need all the help he can get if he's not to stumble at the first hurdle.

Relationships: Javier Peña x Reader, Steve Murphy x Connie Murphy

Warnings: Like AO3, I choose not to list any warnings. This will be 18+ If you are triggered by anything to do with babies then read at your own risk... timeline has been tweaked slightly to suit the story (Yup... life is still mad rn... My little business has also taken off a bit so I'm even more busy that before. Working on updates as and when I can but I hope this was worth the wait.)

Series Masterlist- Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7, Part 8

You stood staring at Javier's door for some time, willing yourself to knock on its smooth surface. You'd been trying to knock on it for days. Weeks if you were being truly honest with yourself.

When Javier had told you that you needed to decide whether you wanted to be with him or not, you'd been left at a loss for what to do. You did want to be with him. With every fibre of your being, but you also didn't trust him and you hated that you couldn't.

He had done nothing but prove how changed he was since becoming a father and yet your insecurities still screamed at you to hide, to protect yourself from the 'inevitable' hurt that he would supposedly inflict on you. Yet in the time the two of you had been together…

He'd been perfect.

When you did finally knock, you were met with silence.

"Not home I guess." You sigh to yourself but when you turned to walk to your door you heard frantic footsteps and saw Javier sprint into view.

"Javi?" You called out, expression growing concerned as he sprinted past you but he didn't answer.

He was clearly in a hurry and that made your stomach twist.

He had obviously come from the Murphy's so you decided to make your way there, knocking on the door three times before you were met with a frantic Connie.

"Con, what's wrong?" You asked as you pulled her into a hug, holding her close as she sobbed on your shoulder.

"Steve's been kidnapped." She said finally as she pulled herself away to look at you.

"When?"

"Today." She started, eyes darting to the nursery before looking back at you again "His car was just left idling in front of the parking lot. Javi's doing all he can to find him but I'm losing my mind here… We have a kid now. I can't raise Olivia without him-"

"And you won't." You interjected, placing a comforting hand on her arm "Javi will find him and everything will be fine… They've probably done this to scare the DEA. They're not stupid enough to do anything more than knock hin about a little,"

Connie nodded, trying her best to keep herself calm and so she decided the best way to do that was to distract herself from the problem at hand.

"Why haven't you seen Javi in two weeks?" She asked, taking you by surprise.

"Let's not talk about that now."

"He told me that you two had a bit of a bust-up." She continued, ignoring your reply "Said that you clearly don't trust him because you keep avoiding any intimacy with him."

"Con-"

"He's crazy about you you know." She stated, her expression changing "And he's really cut up that you didn't choose to try and talk about things with him."

"I wanted to." You started to argue but you knew your retort held no weight.

"Why didn't you?"

"Because he's right." You replied simply "No matter how much he proves himself, my brain still tells me that one day he will find someone better. Someone prettier and I'll be all alone."

"He told me that he wants all to be a family." She stated and your breath caught in your throat "He said he'd asked if you wanted more kids because he does… He wants to have a family with you and you still don't trust him enough to believe he's sincere?"

Your guilt swallowed you whole.

You sat there in silence for a while as your eyes drifted over to the small penguin toy you'd gifted María a few weeks ago. She had instantly taken to it. Wanted it to go everywhere with her and Javier had joked that it was because she loved her mommy best.

Was that how he viewed you now? As her mother…

"You need to talk to him." She continued, grabbing your attention "If you want this to work then it's going to take work. You have insecurities, we all do, but you can't let them run your life."

"I know." You replied, your voice small as your gaze settled on the toy again.

"But you can't keep stringing him along hun." She warned "He's in love with you. You need to either make up or break up." She paused, locking eyes with you as your head snapped up "It's as simple as that."

"We should be focusing on your right now." You said, desperate to change the subject.

"Don't deflect." She scorned "There's nothing to be said about my situation other than when Steve returns, I will ask him if we can go home."

"What?" You shrieked, eyes wide.

"I am a mother now." She stated simply "If my husband is so vulnerable that he gets snatched from outside our home then I don't think I can stay here."

"You know he won't leave." You argued "He can't! He and Javi still have work to do."

"Family is more important than work."

"Yes but-"

"No buts!" She snapped "He will either leave with me or I'll leave without him… But I won't risk Olivia so that he can chase down that mad man."

“Connie you can’t be serious.” You argued “He’s devoted to you but he’s also given years of his life to this fight. You can’t expect him to choose to give up all that hard work. That’s just not fair.”

“I’m a mother now.” She stated plainly “I have to do what’s best for my child and that’s leaving Colombia”

There was a long pause as the two of you stares at each other, the weight of her statement weighing heavily on you both.

“With or without Steve.”

The conversation ended there. You stayed with her out of moral support but you daren’t try and convince her to stay. You knew she was right to a degree. You were living proof that no one was safe from the horrors of Colombia but you also didn’t want to lose her.

Hours passed before Steve came stumbling through the door, pulling his wife into a firm hug. You then knew it was time to take your leave so you hugged them both before sprinting down the stairs, colliding with Javi at their base.

“Shit… Sorry I-“

“It’s fine.” Peña grumbled and you winced at his tone.

It was now or never.

“Could we talk?” You called after him and he stopped in his tracks, pinching the bridge of his nose as he let out a long sigh.

“Is it urgent?” He queried “Only I have to relieve the Murphy’s of my daughter.”

“I’m sorry.” You rushed out, trying desperately not to cry “I’m sorry I let my insecurities get the better of Me.” You choked “I had something amazing with you and I let it slip through my fingers.”

“Cariño-“

“Let me finish.” You pleaded and he nodded, taking a step down so he was eye level with you “I love you, Javier.” You said plainly “I love you and I want to spend the rest of my days with you if you’ll have me… I don’t want to waste any more time.”

“Wait for me in the apartment.” Javier ordered, “I’m going to go grab María, and then we’ll talk properly.”

You nodded at him before watching him sprint up the stairs, smiling to yourself at the thought that tonight, you may finally let yourself be happy with the man you love. You turn and walk to his door, unlocking it with your spare key before treading inside and taking a seat at his table.

Your nerves were almost at boiling point when he walked through the door with a sleepy María in his arms.

“Let me just put her down.” He said before rushing off to her room, returning a few moments later with a monitor in hand.

“She down for the night?” You asked and he nodded, grabbing a beer from the fridge before sitting across from you.

“I love you.” He said after a short period of silence, the words like music to your ears “Don’t think I even knew what love was until I met you.” He confessed, taking a sip of his beer before continuing “But I can’t be with you if you don’t trust me… I have a daughter now and I need to offer her stability. I can’t have her growing attached to you, only for you to leave us.”

“I won’t.” You assured him but he shook his head.

“How can you know that for sure?” He asked, his voice so small and vulnerable that it broke your heart to hear it.

“Because I can’t bear the idea of not being with you.” You choked, unable to stop the tears now “These past two weeks have been torture. I kept coming to your door then running because I was scared that you turn me away.”

“There it is again.” He exclaimed, making you jump “You not trusting in my love for you!”

“Javi, it wasn’t that at all.” You sobbed “I was just sp scared I’d hurt you beyond repair.”

“You did hurt me.” He confessed and your stomach sank, eyes watching him carefully as he continued “But I don’t want to lose you either.”

You let out the breath you’d been holding as your whole body relaxed and your smile returned.

“I don’t want to waste any more time either.”

The next few moments were a blur. Lips collided and moans were swallowed as you both stumbled to your feet and trekked blindly to the couch.

Clothes disappeared and kisses painted naked flesh. The next thing you knew he was sheathing himself inside of you and pulling sounds from your lips you didn’t know you were capable of. He was slow at first, his forehead resting on yours as he thrust languidly onto your heat. The way he looked at you made you shiver. All you could see in the dark depths of his eyes was his love and desire for you and you thought you could cum just from that.

“I love you.” You whispered, whimpering when he found your sweet spot, and then you threw your head back as he focused on it.

He has you cumming in no time at all, spurred on by the filthy sounds you made as he dragged every last drop of pleasure from you.

“Shit.” You breathed as you came down from your high, clutching to his shoulders as his thrusts grew harder.

The sounds emitted from the act were lewd but you found it only turned you on more. He was clearly chasing his high now but also focusing on that spot in the hopes he could tear one more from you… and he did.

You came in unison. Swallowing each other’s moans as he collapsed on top of you, desperate to catch his breath.

“That was…” you trailed off, unable to find a strong enough word to describe it.

“Phenomenal?” He questioned before kissing you slowly, tongues tangling in a lazy dance of passion and love.

“Yes.” You uttered against his lips as he pulled back, resting his brown against yours again “Wish we’d done that sooner!’ You paused, whimpering when he shifted inside of you a little “How silly I’ve been.”

“No arguments from me.” He said with a wink, eliciting a playful swat and a chuckle from you “Let's got to bed, Mi Amor.” He suggested and you nodded, following him as he stood and led you away.

~

Connie hadn't brought up the subject of leaving since the day Steve had disappeared but you knew it was weighing heavily on her mind. In fact, several months had passed since then.

Javier and Steve were sent to work out of Medellín several few times in the weeks that followed which had meant that you had been spending more and more one on one time with María. You'd started to feel that pull more and more as the days went by. That whole that your little Masie had left behind didn't feel like it gaped so much. It would never fully heal but to have the chance to be a mother again gave you a sense of purpose.

It was helping you heal.

Together you and Javier had managed to find a new sitter for when you were at work. She was young, something that had initially made you a little nervous after what had happened to Claire but it had soon become clear she didn't bad for Javi's team.

It was the subtle touches here and there that had been the clear indicator she was more interested in you than your lover and that had soon made you relax around her. She never made a move on you and you found a friendship with her started to blossom and you were glad of it. Even more so in the weeks that were to follow.

You were in the office when you received the call from Steve that Connie was leaving. It had been a shock to all but one who had put their own plans in place. Plans that had not been discussed with you so when you arrived at the Murphys' apartment, you'd been shocked to find Javier there, helping Connie pack not just her things into a large bag.

"What the hell?" You questioned as you stepped into the kitchen, eyes falling on María in her pram "What's going on here?"

"I'm going back to Maimi," Connie answered simply, shrugging as she packed the last of Olivia's things into her suitcase.

"Okay, but what are you doing here Javi? I thought you were in Medellín for another week!" You snapped.

"My Pop's is going to meet Con at the airport." He started, stopping what he was doing to look at you "María's going to stay with him till I finish here then we'll go back to Texas and get her."

"We?" You exclaimed, "There is a, we, in this scenario is there?"

"Of course there is." He groaned, scraping a hand over his face.

"Only I don't recall you discussing this with me before getting the arrangements in place."

"It was a pretty sudden decision." He replied and you scoffed at him before your eyes settled on María's sleeping form.

"So what… Connie told you she was leaving and you just decided to send María with her?"

"Yes." He answered simply and you felt yourself growing angry at him.

"Why?"

"Because it's dangerous here." He stated, "You more than anyone know that anyone can get caught in the crossfire and I don't want to keep my daughter here and put her at unnecessary risk."

You flinched at his statement, your hand unconsciously resting on your stomach as your eyes filled with fresh tears.

"Don't I get a say in whether she stays or goes?" You questioned, "I thought we were a family Javi."

"We are a family."

"Well, families make decisions like this together." You snapped, your anger getting the best of you "I should get a say in whether María stays or goes."

"This is the right thing to do." He growled, eyes darkening as his own temper started to flare.

"I don't want her to go."

"She's my daughter, not yours." He yelled and you shrunk immediately, a flash of hurt crossing your face before it replaced with something else entirely.

"You're right." You said sharply, shrugging your shoulders.

"Hermosa I-"

"Don't tell me you didn't mean in that way because you did." You warned, tone firm before you squared your shoulders "And I suppose if you want to send your child away you'll want to send ours away as well."

"I already am." He grumbled, tired of this conversation "María will be safer with Pops."

"I don't mean María." You replied and his brows pulled together in confusion as he waited for you to elaborate.

"What are you talking about?" He pushed when you remained silent, watching your shoulders rise and fall as you planned what you were going to say carefully.

"This isn't exactly how I wanted to tell you but I suppose now's as good a time as any." You growled, "I'm pregnant Javi." You replied simply "Was going to wait till you got back to tell you."

"You are?" He asked, his voice small as his eyes widened.

You nodded, pulling out the images you had from your purse and throwing them down on the table in front of him.

"Wanted to surprise you." You said, watching as his shaky hands grabbed the images "I'm about 8 weeks along." You stated plainly as you straightened your back "I want to keep it."

"Of course." The agent said, his head turning to you as a smile crossed his face but it soon disappeared when he saw the expression you wore.

"You want to send María away then fine… Send her away, I have no say in that but I have a say in what happens to this baby and they are going to stay with me."

"Hermosa please-"

"But know this Javi." You interrupted, ignoring his plea "You send her away and I will never forgive you." You stated plainly as you pointed at María, your countenance impossible to read "You send her away and I will never forgive you."

"Baby please." He pleaded "Be reasonable."

"Think about it." You replied simply before leaving the kitchen, leaving a shocked Connie and Peńa in your wake.

Now… Javier had a decision to make.

Next

Taglist form

Tags: @hayley-the-comet @ajeff855 @pedritomando @supernaturalgirl20 @dihra-vesa @nicolethered @practicalghost @theanothersherlockian @gallowsjoker @little-mrs-morales @sunnshineeexoxo @aliwritesfic @maryfanson @sherala007 @ayrusss @greeneyedblondie44 @elegantduckturtle @jediknight122 @goodgriefitsawildworld @voteforpedro09 @vanered15 @anaaaispunk @prostitute-robot-from-the-future @mishasminion360 @bloobsi @giggly-otter @athalien @mssbridgerton @huitzilinthebudgie3 @samanthacookieone @salome-c @radcollectivesoul @pedrohoe04 @thekohakuriver1 @paintlavillered @ktmadden86 @hotchlover @kirsteng42 @djjarins @balekanemohafe @misscampacyn @dream-alittlebiggerdarling @pedromandoverse @destiny-tsukino @mysun-n-stars @tombraider42017 @littlemisspascal @thatpinkshirt @bison-writes @evyiione @girlofchaos @vanemando15