#also if he could see how shit jude's parents are maybe he could hate jude a little less

[lecliss]

Xillia au where Milla lets Ivar go to Leronde with them and when he meets Leia there its love at first sight but he makes a fool of himself over it the whole time hes there

[fallinforerling]

LOVE ISN'T ETERNAL. chapter 8 - jb

A/N: At this point all my readers HATE Jude... And I understand you. Here you go, more material to hate on him with lmao.

ೃ⁀➷ jude’s masterlist

ೃ⁀➷ jude’s taglist

ೃ⁀➷ masterlist

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Jude was taking advantage of this whole situation, and you were trying so hard to not punch him in the face at the first opportunity you got. While watching the game he behaved himself by not touching you or talking a lot, mostly because there were tons of people surely watching intently in his direction and the videos would spread fast; you also thought you were getting a bit of peace because of Jobe’s presence, but oh no. By the time you got in the car, he immediately put his arm around the back of your seat. Jobe kept shooting confused looks at you, and you returned dead ones. That’s how you felt: dead inside. Your life was becoming a tragic comedy by this point. 

While Jude acted like your rage rant at the VIP section never happened, and Jobe seemed more than confused with you being in the car and letting Jude hug you, you texted the girls. This was piping hot tea that needed to be shared or you’ll get burned.

✉️ Guess what, gals. 

✉️ Mia: Oh no… Is he there?

✉️ Nikki: That game is over… And I have some tea from it, just saying.

✉️ I’ll be pleased to read all about it after I tell you what the hell happened here. 

✉️ Nikki: OMG?! Okay, spill the tea!

✉️ Just this: I’m in his parent's car, going to fucking DINNER. And, oh yeah! He’s hugging me right now. Isn’t this amazing? :) 

✉️ Mia: Gurl…

✉️ Nikki: Girl, what the actual fucking fuck?????

✉️ Long story… His parents saw me, I think. They moved me from my seat to the VIP section and invited me to dinner. 

✉️ Turns out he never told them we broke up, he just told them I was “busy with work” and that’s why I didn’t visit them

✉️ Mia: Oh hell nah

✉️ Nikki: Tell me again… Why are you collaborating with him? I’ll be so quick to say the truth 

✉️ I was so tempted to do that… But man, I love his parents, I can’t just do this to them… I prefer to hint in during dinner and make him extremely uncomfortable the entire time

✉️ Oh, and he wants to “talk” 

✉️ Mia: Talk about what? His lack of empathy? Or the fact that he’s a complete cunt?

✉️ Nikki: Maybe both

✉️ Only God knows what’s going on up there

“Are you telling me what’s going on here? Why are you coming with us to dinner?” Jobe whispered directly to your ear, making sure nobody else noticed. “Don’t take it the wrong way, I love that you’re here but… Why?” 

✉️ Gotta go, I’ll keep you updated

✉️ Nikki, send the tea! Bye!

“That’s a wonderful question, my dear. Why don’t you ask your brother?” His eyes wandered to Jude’s face, who was turned to the window, looking at the streets. 

He was avoiding both of you. How brave of your “boyfriend”. 

“I could, but if I do then the bag full of shit he’s hiding from our parents is going to explode and it will stain us both.” You smiled a bit, pursing your lips to not laugh and call the attention of said parents. 

“Then wait until we’re alone and I’ll tell you all about him being a jerk.” And just because you could, you elbowed Jude’s side. 

“Ouch! What was that for?” He whispered, looking at you for the first time in many minutes. 

“You know why.” Then you looked at the hand that was hanging just below your shoulder and back at him. 

He kept his eyes glued to yours, but didn’t move his arm from your shoulders. Yep, a very long night ahead of you.

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Truth was, you couldn’t expose Jude in front of his parents while the whole family celebrated Jobe’s performance. It wasn’t fair to take the attention from him like that. You just had to wait and see if you could get a moment alone with Jude to give him an ultimatum. 

It was funny to see how things changed. Before all of this, the two of you never had big fights over anything; of course, you argued about stupid little things like doing the dishes or who’s cleaning the mess after cooking, but nothing too big, that was one of the things you appreciated the most about Jude, he wasn’t too much of a confrontational person. 

But that didn’t matter right now; he was acting like the biggest asshole in the world. Why would he choose to wait this long? It was his decision to breakup with you in the first place… Then why hide it from his family? It didn’t make sense to you. He couldn’t be regretting it, right?

“So! Honey, how are you doing? We missed you so much at the last couple of get-togethers we did these past weeks.” Denise’s voice snapped you back to reality. All of them were looking at you attentively. “I hope you’re not exhausting yourself by over-working.” She was always so caring. 

“Oh no, no. I just get too caught up sometimes, but I promise I always take my breaks and me-time throughout the day.” Since Jude was next to you, it wasn’t too much of an effort to avoid his gaze. “Besides, last week I got the opportunity to do a little trip to Scotland with my girlfriends. No screen-time and all that. It was… refreshing.” You said the last word while looking directly at Jude, who took a sip of his drink to avoid his parents eyes. 

“Did you? Oh, Jude never mentioned it... That sounds fantastic. Scotland it’s lovely, it’s been a long time since we visited.” Mark said, taking a bite of his food. “Gotta say, I once went fishing with a couple of friends when I was younger, best thing ever.” 

“Well, I was staying close to a lake. I spent a lot of time there, it was so relaxing.” You openly ignored that comment about Jude not mentioning it to them.

While all of you made small talk about Scotland and what you did there, you could feel the anxious need coming from Jude. He wanted to ask everything about that little trip you had since this was the first time he’d heard of it.

You knew him too well. 

“Anyone wants dessert?” Mark asked, calling for a waiter. 

“I could have some dessert.” Jude said, sighing while looking at you. Your eyes were asking him “What?!” but he just smiled and shrugged. 

He couldn’t be seriously flirting with you right now? The audacity. 

“Well, I’ll go to the bathroom first,” Denise said, looking between the two of us nervously. So she noticed, huh? “Dear? Can you come with me?” 

“Sure, my love. Lead the way.” Mark got up as fast as Denise, leaving the three of you alone. 

“That was awkward,” Jobe said after a few seconds, taking a sip of his drink. “Anyways, what’s up? Can you tell me now?” 

“You better ask the genius sitting next to me.” You said, crossing your arms and leaning your back against the chair. 

“Does he know?” Jude asked, looking surprised by the fact that Jobe knew.

“Of course I do, she’s my friend. Besides, you’re so bad at lying, I can’t believe Mom and Dad are believing anything you say.”

“Oh, shut up.” A tiny blush was starting to cover Jude’s cheeks. 

“Whatever.” Jobe laughed, elbowing you. “So sorry you got trapped like this, I thought they wouldn’t notice if you were in a normal seat… But I guess the big screen gave you away.” 

“That’s okay, darling. It wasn’t your fault that this whole situation it’s awkward as hell.” 

“Stop teaming up against me!” Jude replied. “I didn’t plan this either. It just happened! Just… Let’s act normal.” 

“We’re acting normal, you’re the one acting like someone’s holding a gun against your head. Relax a bit, mate. Maybe then Mom will stop wondering what’s wrong with you.” Then he shut up because their parents were coming back. 

“Ready for dessert?”

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“Thank you so much for driving me home.” You said, peaking your head from the backseat. “I’ll miss you guys.” 

“Oh, don’t say it like you’re never going to see us again, sweetie. You’re coming with us next month, right? Jude’s next couple of matches are between Germany and England.” 

Awkward. 

“I-… Yeah, probably!” 

“Mom, she’s tired. I’ll walk her to the door.” Jude said, making you sigh. 

“Bye Denise, bye Mark.” You gave each one a kiss on the cheek before coming back to your seat. “Bye, Jobe. I’ll text you.” You gave him a hug before looking at Jude’s direction, who was already out of the car, holding the door for you. 

You both walked to your building’s door in silence before you entered the lobby, where he took a hold of your arm so you stopped walking. 

“Jude… Let’s not do this.” Was the first thing that escaped your lips. “I don’t have the energy for any of this right now.” 

“We really need to talk. I need to talk to you.” He got closer, looking at your eyes with the same look that he gave you earlier on the day. Like he was begging for a chance. 

“We can talk, but not tonight. And maybe not tomorrow.” You replied, feeling a bit bad about turning him down so much. But again, just a bit. “You don’t know how much pain I went through this past month. I had a really bad time, and being close to you isn’t helping with my stress, okay?” 

He seemed so hurt by your negatives. Like he wasn’t expecting this outcome. Well, boo-hoo. 

“Can you, at least, unblock my number?” 

Damn it. 

“Okay, sure. I can do that.” Anything to get him out of the building.

“Thank you.” And then he gave you a hug. He was physically hugging you; you didn’t know what to do. Pushing him or hugging him back? So you did the last. 

Why was life so complicated?

˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚*ੈ✩‧₊˚⋆·˚ ༘ * TAGLIST

@mentalbaddieie | @taintedstranger | @mrs-dasilvasantoss | @mbapbaesluvrr | @erensfavgirlyly | @cinderellawithashoee | @yoitsmo07 | @seajjin | @kakuchosbff | @peterparkerbae | @alwaysclassyeagle | @itsjuspenny-blog | @lbsmainblog

[iwasforcedtomakethisbytum]

Help me ahhh i can't stop thinking about what I'd do if i were in charge of a reboot of 6teen

For starters it would be more serialized, the original already had some of that and i don't wanna it to be so serialized you can't watch episodes out of order but we have streaming now so why not just have more mentions of previous episodes or foreshadowing future episodes

I'm mainly just thinking about Jonesy and how i could to not be the most hateable character, but i still want him to be a bit of a jerk to be honest but dear Lord I'm gonna give him a little chill pill like maybe he shouldn't be a literal criminal in multiple episodes, i wanna keep him being a selfish dick but maybe instead of flirting with literally all the women it's mostly just with his friends i kinda like the idea of him being demisexual idk i just like it, i also gave him more necklaces, mostly they mean nothing and he'd be happy letting another wear them, but one of his necklaces is his cremation necklace and is just really uncomfortable with the idea of others wearing it

i made jude trans, again i don't remember why i hc it but it's fun, so my design for him shows his binder under his tank top, i feel it would be mentioned but not a lot outside of a joke or two, i give him the more girly hands the women are given as a way to hint it and maybe older photos could show him with long hair or a dress. I also gave him a scarf which one thing i did add was maybe he'd like crochet/knitting and made the scarf himself (i also like to think nikki carries an opossum around that Jude made) he rollerstates everywhere even when he bumps into everything! I don't know what to headcanon his family like, they almost seem neglectful in the series as they're usually mentioned leaving jude alone at the house i feel but does that mean they're bad

Jen i feel she'd roughly stay the same, but maybe she'd be complaining a bit more about shit, i imagine she puts up with her job and school and stuff she hates because she knows it'll help her get what she wants but she doesn't care for it in private. Her parents are divorced like the original but i feel her dad isn't really explained in the original because jen remembers him as a good dad and some lines may reference him having died (omg what if he died by suicide, no I'm sorry not today) but it's never said that he's dead explicitly so it would make me wonder why in the original jen only lives with her mom, did he flee the area, was jen an unreliable narrator and he truly did something awful that warranted him not having custody, did her parents both choose to let Jen's mom have full custody for some reason? I don't know but in my version i like the idea of it being mention that she has to move between the houses (wait would she even have too, i know 16 is a bigger deal in Canada so would that give her the right to decide to not live with one of them?) but in my version of the show jens parents would have split costody of her and that would be mentioned

Nikki is a bit more nerdy i feel i made her, i like the idea of Chinese being her home language, and maybe she can also speak other languages outside of English and Chinese, i feel she'd speak Quebec French, Spanish and ASL to varying degrees of proficiency i could see her maybe considering being an interpreter as a career, she'd still be into protesting the same stuff she has before, she now has a half shaven head, one thing i don't necessarily care for with redesigns is just making her really emo but she's not really that in the original i mean sure it's alt but i don't see it as really emo. I feel like her and Wyatt talk about anime a lot. I feel she'd be fairly distant from her friends at the beginning of the series, like she's there with them they've known her most of their lives but it's not like she opens up to them about things and might seem unemphatic to them but overtime she tries to care about them and open up more maybe starting with them saying they're bi, which one is just like "wait you hadn't told us this before?"

Wyatt is also just nerdier, he draws, he sucks at it but he does draw, he obviously in a band, and so is jude, he just gets to do everything wyatt gets really obsessed with things he likes and will be upset if you don't like them, he also wears his headphones almost all the time, usually they're no music on though, i feel the music his band makes is just stuff that stimulates the ears it's just "hehe brain go brrrr" he's really into written art as well like fanfiction and poetry, i feel it would also be mentioned he takes care of younger siblings a lot as it's mentioned he's part of a big family in the series, i see him on the younger end of the family but still, idk maybe he could also have nieces and nephews

Caitlin also is into art, i feel she'd really be into the idea of fashion design but doesn't know how to make/modify clothing, she is the best drawer of the group, you can still very easily tell she's an only child, i liked the headcanon of her being homeschooled before joining the same school as the rest of the group, you could make an argument the first episode could imply it by saying "she didn't start until grade 10" but that also could mean she just went somewhere else, but i do think it would be fun if she didn't stop being friends with trisha despit being a bitch and the others keep trying to tell her to not hang with her but she "sees the good in her" i think it would be interesting to see it play out

I feel their parents would be mentioned more in the series, they might not show up but they are teenagers/young adults living under their parents roof so i feel it would make sense for it to be brought up more, like maybe the mention of a curfew or them complaining about something they're parents are doing or complain about rules they don't understand

It would be kinda cool to have a moment where both jen and jonesy bitch about their home lives and maybe complain that the marriage shouldn't even happen

Well that's it, i could probably say more but my brain has been satisfied

[wildestdreamcatcher]

Posted Bail

Summary: Elijah bails Jude out of jail and they have a much needed conversation

TW: Jail, mentions of substance abuse, vandalism, shoplifting,

I can’t fucking stand my dad. I got caught tagging a building with one of my friends and I guess my dad was feeling generous because he decided to bail me out, it was my first known offense after all. He smiled and was polite to the officers but I could tell by looking at him, he was going to fucking tear into me in the car. He and Mom act like they hate me now. I can barely go anywhere, they gave me a strict curfew, they always have to know what I’m doing and who I’m with but they never do this with Marley. She’s their golden child I guess, and I’m just the weird one they screwed up. 

“I don’t know what the hell you think you’re doing, Jude! You got caught shoplifting last week and you’re lucky they didn’t press charges with how much shit you stole, you got drunk and took my car to go sneak out with Mindy the week before that, and now you’re vandalizing buildings with your friends!!”

“Don’t be such a narc! It’s not a big deal, I was just hanging out with one of my friends. Why do you have to throw such a fit about it? You should’ve gotten mom to bail me out, she wouldn’t act like this.” It’s not that I really like my mom anymore, she’s just less of a tight ass about everything. 

  “First of all, it is a big deal!! You think everything’s a fucking joke but one day this shit is going to catch up with you and no one’s going to be there for when it does. Second of all, your mom would be way worse right now. You have an issue that needs to be addressed!” 

“Why do you care so much!! I’m living my own life, I’m not bothering you or mom, I’m just trying to have fun!” I need my parents to back off, I don’t have a fucking “issue”. Nothing is wrong with me. 

I look at Jude in the passenger seat, and I know he’s high on more than just weed. His pupils are dilated, he has residue from white powder on his nose, he’s lost so much weight in the past few months, he’s been erratic, rude, and unhinged the past few months. Cleo found the empty bottles of liquor and pill bottles in his room. I know Jude’s going down a dangerous, maybe even deadly path. 

I wish I understood him better. I look at him in the passenger seat and while I see an angry, hurt, insecure, desperate teenager I also see the happy and sweet kid he used to be. I’m worried he’s going to do something so bad, he can’t get bailed out. It would kill me if he ended up in jail or prison. We both know this isn’t his first offense, he’s just lucky the cops haven’t arrested him before this. 

I want the best for Jude. I want him to be better than I ever was as a teenager, I acted very similar to him as a teenager, the only difference was I had no one to help me. I don’t want that for him. I know he could be so talented, smart, and kind and he could do so many good things with his life but right now all he’s doing is ruining it. 

I don’t know what to do for Jude anymore and I don’t even know if I understand him. I don’t know how to help him anymore.

@sadlonelyyogurt @blowflygrls @vommitgirl

[a-tale-of-legends]

Ok sure I'll do the rivals

Which mention of red and green before I do. They both use mega evolution yes, but in varying degrees. I would explain more but this ain't about them.

Blue - uses mega evolution. Is also interested in studying it.

Silver - ( checks notes) yes. If it's something that makes him stronger ( and helps him bond with his pokemon) then chances are he's taking it.

Wally - yep! Uses mega evolution

Barry - eeeeeeeeeeeeeh. Not sure. Has a pokemon that can, but again, not sure if he would want to use it. I think he would be excited by the idea though.

Cheren - doesn't use mega evolution. Is confident in himself as is. However, as a teacher, I think he probably has taught the basics of mega evolution as the research for it increases. So maybe he does, but mostly for teaching purposes. Maybe.

Bianca - also doesn't use mega evolution. Doesn't see the need to even if she had a pokemon that could.

Hugh - he heard that mega evolution could potentially hurt pokemon and he hates that so no.

N - same as above

( it was explained to them that mega evolution could hurt the person and pokemon if they don't have a strong bond + have not trained to control it which kinda lessened their dislike for it, but I still think they don't want to use it ever)

Shauna - yep! Does use it.

Trevor - also uses mega evolution, though not as much as Dante or Jude

Tierno - the only one of the group that doesn't. He's perfectly okay with that though. Mega Evolution doesn't make or break a trainer after all!

Hau - nah, not for him.

Gladion - yeah, he wants to become stronger for the people he loves. He thinks mega evolution can help him with that.

Lillie - hmmm. I don't think I gave her a pokemon that can mega evolve. And even if she did, similar to Hugh and N, I don't think she wants to risk pokemon getting hurt.

Hop - no but he is studying that shit so hard

Marnie - she's....conflicted about it. She doesn't have a pokemon that can anyway, but she's kinda. Weighing it in her head.

Bede - sees mega evolution as another stepping stone to him being a prime fairy type user. I don't think mega evolution is allowed in the gym circuit, but I do think he would still go for it to test himself.....all of that being said, no he doesn't have or uses mega evolution lmao

Nemona - doesn't use it ( or have pokemon that can) but she really wants to. Refuses to ask her parents for any connections though. Is a bit concerned for her health though ( given how mega evolution can affect the trainer too. She's doing as much research as she can if she ever goes forth with obtaining mega evolution)

Arven - does not know what it is lmao

Penny - there's no Eevee mega evolution so she's not interested.

Kieran - I think he wants to get stronger on his own front before even considering anything else. Waiting to see the indigo disk and how his arc plays out.

Carmine - hmmm. I honestly think she doesn't care about it.

[galinvant-totherescue]

I wince, “I am sorry you had to see that, bubs.” I nod and gently take the letter, “go take a nap, yeah? I’ll see you tomorrow.” I give him a smile before breaking open the seal to read the letter.

My nose burns with my tears as I read through how lonely he is, my hand rubbing Juliet’s back all the while. I wince at the stain of blood along the side of the letter.

He just wants us with us. Maybe I could help him if I was there. Maybe not be fully light again, maybe not, but close enough that he could be a good ruler. Ruling in both fear and love. Kind of like Yoda.

I rip one of my pages in two two write back since I don’t know how many more letters I’ll need. Maybe he won’t be able to find me right away so we’ll need to exchange more.

Ben,

Please excuse the ripped page, I made the edge as pretty as I could. I don’t know how many letters we’ll be exchanging and resources are pretty slim… for a prisoner. You see now why I cannot come? You felt me ‘die’ because I have a binder on.

Zip is my only friend, he’s also the only one that has agreed to smuggle me things in and out. He’s a good kid. Mind feeding him this next trip? Rations are shit here and he’s never had mashed potatoes. You make the best mashed potatoes. The Empire killed his three sisters and parents, but it was droids so no fault of your own. Even he thinks that. He hates droids now, though. I want him to go to Mandalore. He deserves a family like Mandalorians. Maybe when I get out I’ll take him there. I think he’s lying about his age, he’s too small for fourteen. Maybe twelve or eleven. Jafan would take him.

Juliet smiled her first smile yesterday. I was singing a lullaby, so I’m definitely taking all of the credit, of course. I want her to smile at you, though.

Zip says it was a bad day for you and I’d have to agree based off of your letter. I’m sorry. I want you to know the second I get out I’m coming to your side. I do not stay away from you because I want to. I love you. I want Juliet to have her father. Never really wanted to be a single mom and not gonna lie, dude, it’s kinda shit. I’m tired as hell.

Gonna have to cut this letter off here, running out of page even writing tiny and front to back. I love you. Be well. Get three heating blankets and meditate before bed.

Your wife,

Lili

Ps. I call her Jude, think it’s cute?

Zip waits for a few hours again after delivering the letter before he returns to Virgil's office, pausing at the pure rage on the man's face as he still holds your letter.

"Uh... E-Emperor sir?" he breathes, "Is- Is everything okay?"

"Sit, Zip." Virgil gestures. "You are not in trouble- please, just sit."

Zip gulps and moves over, slowly sitting across from him. "What... is it, sir?"

Virgil carefully sets the letter down and gets out two platter containers, pulling out a plate of food for each of them and handing Zip's over. "I want you to sit, relax, and eat. Eat slowly. Just enjoy it. Nobody's going to take it from you."

Zip studies the food and then slowly grabs the fork Virgil holds out, taking a careful bite of potatoes- and humming at the flavor.

"Lili tells me... you are her friend," Virgil starts, watching this poor, thin-as-a-rail kid scarf down his food anyway, "I thank you, for looking out for her. She means more to me than anyone could ever know. Which is why... I need you to tell me everything you know, Zip."

Zip straightens, "I- I can't-"

"Yes you can," Virgil nods slowly. "And you must. She is in danger there. Every single day. I want to go get her."

"I'll be in so much trouble-"

"Zip." Virgil tilts his head. "I will protect you. She has a plan to take you out of there with her- you will not be left behind. That is a promise."

Zip sighs softly and takes a deep breath, setting his fork down so he isn't tempted to eat while telling Virgil the whole story, holding absolutely nothing back.

Virgil sends him home that night with two platters more of food- one for him again and one for you, too.

And that night, when Zip returns home, he sits next to you on your bed and carefully unpacks the platters from his backpack. "He is coming," he says quietly, praying nobody hears. "He- He knows where we are. I told him everything."

[redinkofshame]

Some late night ramblings Re: gender and toddlers bc I can't sleep.

I mentioned a while back that my kid's pediatrician asked if he could tell boys from girls and how much it upset me, like, can you?? (<-- I regret not saying it. I should have.) At the time I said no, he thinks everyone is a boy.

I soon realized I was wrong; he doesn't think everyone is a boy, he just only knows/uses he/him pronouns. Boys are he/him, girls are he/him, inanimate objects are he/him. I've been working on it with him every time he gets it wrong (but it's not working at all)

Ignoring for a minute that I don't particularly like that my 3yo can correctly (or as correctly as anyone else) say 'that boy won't play with me' or 'that girl took the ball'... (Like, how can he tell? They’re just kids...) Even though he can't grasp pronouns I'm glad that he's exposed to gender neutral on a regular basis thanks to the librarian that does toddler time at the library, Mx. Jude. I feel like it's scary to tell parents your proper pronouns because so many people are shitty but I'm glad they did. I guess I should write a comment card or something? Or is that patronizing?

I've been working on my own pronoun use, too. I try to remember not to assume and to use neutral terms unless I know otherwise. Kinda hard to unlearn a lifetime of cis stuff but I try. Sometimes I mess up in my head at work -- hard not to make assumptions when speaking with a nurse named Angela -- but I (think) I always remember when leaving a note saying who I spoke to be neuter about it. 

It’s already paid off. Kiddo is in swimming lessons and his teachers rotate all the time so I was introducing him to the week’s teacher. I don’t know if I would have caught myself if it wasn’t easy to see that the teacher was wearing clothes that came from a different department than their AGAB but it slowed me down enough that I remembered to use a they/them, despite my brain telling me I could just assume their gender and sexual preferences based on a glance. I’m really glad I did bc when I tell you their eyes just LIT UP and being called they/them by a new parent. 

So much so even my mom saw it, I think. Or maybe she picked up on me continuing to use those pronouns when talking about them later? I don’t think I ever mentioned them again though. I do know that I saw mom use the correct pronouns weeks later when we saw them again, in that way where she had to slow down before she said it to remind herself to use they/them. I know it’s a struggle for her. It’s hard to re-learn! She’s very good about Mx. Jude in front of kiddo but sometimes will slip when talking to be about them. 

I probably slow down the same way, though I try not to. It doesn’t come naturally yet. But I’m glad that I’m working on it. And I’m glad people from my mom’s generation are too. 

I grew up with Fox News playing like 24/7, except when we were in the car: then it was Rush Limbaugh. I believed all the rhetoric. But occasionally something someone said would seem Too Unfair to me, and if was coming from my mom I would say so. One time a butch woman (I think. Who knows.) was spending, like, a long time primping her hair in the Target bathroom. Mom muttered something like ‘she’s spending an awfully long time on how she looks for someone who doesn’t care how they look.’ and I was like ‘who says she doesn’t care?? Just because YOU don’t like women with short hair doesn’t mean SHE doesn’t like it. You don’t know she cut it just to say ‘fuck you’ society.’ (though, now that I’m older and wiser, more power to them if they did. I also like to imagine they were getting ready for a date or talking to a cute cashier.)

She used to say It’s okay to be gay but they shouldn’t be *married* they can just have ‘civil unions’. It took me YEARS to stop believing that, but when I did I found an excuse to bring it up again so I could say something about it. 

And folks? It worked?? Like I didn’t notice at the time. I don’t think she really responded either time and the subject moved on. But even she still remembers that time in the Target bathroom because it left such a ‘o shit the kid’s right’ imprint on her, and it’s made her think about some things more critically.

But now we’re at a point that my mom will text me about how my kiddo loved playing with Mx. Jude today, just casually in a text. I didn’t even know where she learned that Mx. was a thing. She didn’t learn it from me.  (I’ve since gathered she probably learned it from the teacher.) I’ve never really talked her much about gender outside explaining why some people go with bi and some pan and some other ones out there. 

Which! Side note. When her teenaged nephew came out as bi to her sister, and then the sister talked to mom about it, mom was able to explain ‘just because someone’s attracted to multiple genders doesn’t mean it’s always all genders equally; sometimes it is, or sometimes people will still have some preference to girls or boys but are still bi’ because apparently of all the things I said to her about it that one was like a lightbulb for her. I have no idea why it mattered in the conversation tbh, only that she later said she was happy that she understood that now, thanks to me. 

I hope this isn’t patronizing to mom, and I don’t want anyone to think ill of her bc she’s super amazing and caring and works so stupid hard for this family. But it’s just great to see that other former Fox-News watchers can just learn to teach themselves to be progressive. 

(Dad’s changed a lot too but not in an anecdote-able way, not as socially, so idk how to describe it. Definitely thinks more critically though.)

 One more before I resort to sleep meds I guess. My cishet BFF just informed me that her spouse is a transwoman. She’s wanted to tell me forever (like 6 month I think) but they weren’t out about it yet and it wasn’t her place to tell, all I knew was that her and spouse were in therapy about something she couldn’t talk to me about yet. 

I focused more on her reaction to it when I was talking to her, because I know how much she hates secrets and has wanted to talk to me about it and I wanted her to tell me all the things she’s been holding back. And also their family’s reactions because they suck. (The reaction is that everyone thinks her wife is going to hell, even the wife’s mother.) But the first thing I asked was how to spell her wife’s new name. 

When the conversation was over and I had her permission to tell others I informed my spouse and mom, because they also know my BFF and might talk about her spouse and I didn’t want them to accidentally misgender/deadname her. 

My mom’s first question was how to spell her wife’s new name 😂 (and then if she was using she/her pronouns or smth else).

Idk. It’s exciting. I’m happy for all you funky little queer folk. I’m sorry my ass is taking so long to catch up. I’ll make sure my kiddo is better than me. Forgive him for misgendering over half the population currently (and most inanimate objects).

[spoondrifts]

long post ahead I'm sorry-

crack au where Jonah Magnus is a good guy but everything keeps going wrong and he spends all of his time running around trying to stop his employees from diving headfirst into their Fuck Up™ of the week

in this au Jonah is almost entirely incompetent but he's got the exasperated parent thing down enough to make up for his lack of braincells

he's also at least 7% dumber than he is in canon

s1 Jon: please call pest control there are so many worms

s1 Elias: I already did

Jon: and??

Elias: they ate them

Jon: the worms?

Elias: the pest control guys. the worms ate them

Elias spends the entirety of season 2 desperately trying to convince Jon that none of them killed Gertrude (in this au Gertrude just had a stroke or something in the tunnels). Elias stops Jon from destroying the table but a week later something heavy falls on it and the NotThem escapes anyway. Elias bashes in Leitner's head with a pipe after mistaking him for the monster and Jon gets framed.

now Elias has to convince this hunter that Jon is innocent while Jon runs around and harasses various fear avatars (who are all very amused with Elias' wayward Archivist). Jon assumes Elias knows nothing about all this bullshit because Elias is just his weird and uptight boss who accidentally killed someone, he can't possibly know that there are literally fear gods ruling over them

olive ⚰ has named the group 'Avatars ✨'

JMagnus 👀: Jude please don't hurt him. I'll explain everything when he gets back to the Institute.

🔥: too late

JMagnus 👀: What?

🔥: too late

🔥: burned him

[JMagnus 👀 is typing]

JMagnus 👀: Where is he now.

🔥: going to mike

JMagnus 👀: Mike Crew???

🔥: ya

Elias RACES to Mike's house but he. he fucking misses them. the Beholding helpfully tells him that they're all going back to the Institute so Basira and Daisy can interrogate him, which isn't ideal, he'd really like to not go to jail, so he drafts up an employment contract on the way back and barely manages to escape the whole thing with his life intact.

then he explains everything to Jon because if Jon is going to end up being the Archivist, being uninformed won't do. Jon becomes the Archivist completely on accident and Elias is desperately trying to make all of this work because, haha, the Unknowing is coming up, and Elias is not in the fucking mood to deal with clowns.

olive ⚰ has named the group 'all that is terror uwu'

spidey🕸: lmfaooo jonah how do you make an archivist on accident

JMagnus 👀: He stumbled into it. All I can do now is ensure he doesn't die.

JMagnus 👀: Or get further injured by the rest of you.

🔥: woops

🎭: hEy gUyS lOnG tiMe nO sEe

🎭: gEt iT eLiAs

🎭: sEe

JMagnus 👀: Beholding puns are not amusing from a manifestation of the Stranger.

🎭 has named the group 'eLiAs bE niCe tO niKoLa cHaLlEnGe'

🔥: haha

spidey🕸: I'm sure Nikola will be on her best behavior

🎭: yEaH i wOnT kiDnAp yOuR aRcHiViSt

[JMagnus 👀 is typing]

mike n ike: hey guys what'd I miss

🔥: arent you dead

mike n ike: yeh but I came back

JMagnus 👀: NIKOLA ORSINOV WHERE IS JONATHAN SIMS

🔥: can't you see haha

mike n ike: heh "see"

JMagnus 👀: NIKOLA

spidey🕸: wow he must be pissed

spidey🕸: he left out the punctuation

JMagnus 👀: I WILL BREAK ALL OF YOUR PLASTIC BONES WHERE'S MY ARCHIVIST

🎭 has left the chat.

JMagnus 👀: what the FUCK

since he's still a coward Elias sends Michael to go fetch Jon, only finding out after the fact that he very nearly almost signed Jon's death warrant. Elias is now speedrunning Jon's development because fuck the Unknowing is coming up really quickly and Tim is a self destructive mess and Melanie keeps trying to stab Elias and Martin is a pining idiot and goddammit he didn't sign up for this

Elias prepares Jon the best he can for the Unknowing, because even though he knows the ritual will fail, the Circus can still cause a considerable amount of damage and he needs them out of the way.

the Unknowing happens. Jon ends up in a wack ass coma, Tim is dead, Daisy's in the coffin, and Basira is starting to look like the better choice of Archivist because jesus christ Jon has no self preservation instinct. Elias doesn't get arrested this time around but his ex husband starts coming by the Institute and fucking with all his employees. and the Flesh is attacking. jesus. goddamn.

olive ⚰ has named the group 'bully elias'

JMagnus 👀: Why are you all so mean to me? I'm arguably the nicest one here.

🔥: ur joking right

Peter Lukas: you're not nice you didn't buy me an anniversary gift 😢😢😢

JMagnus 👀: I was busy.

Peter Lukas: doing what

JMagnus 👀: Stopping the Flesh from destroying my Institute. Besides, you didn't remember my birthday.

Peter Lukas: you're 200 years old how could I remember 😓

helen!!!!!: We All Know I'm The Nicest One Here!!

JMagnus 👀: How did you make your text that colorful?

helen!!!!!: IDK

JMagnus 👀: Liar.

helen!!!!!: That's Literally My Job

olive ⚰: hey eli your archivist just woke up I think

🔥: ew why

helen!!!!!: How Delightful!! Maybe I'll Throw Him A Glad You're Alive Party!!

olive ⚰: should we invite him to this chat since he's an avatar now

Peter Lukas: no 🙅 🚫❌

Peter Lukas: I hate archivists 😤😤

olive ⚰: still mad about gertrude huh

🔥: were all still mad about gertrude

🔥: but jons fine once you burn some manners into him

JMagnus 👀: Can you all please stop hurting Jon? Or talking about hurting him? I would like my Archivist to not acquire any more scars.

🔥: damn

Peter Lukas: damn 😔

Elias keeps trying to teach Jon how to pick certain victims to feed off of because personally he has no qualms about feeding from innocents but Jon!! actually trusts him!!! so Elias doesn't want to push Jon into making decisions that will offend his moral sensitivities.

things are actually going okay for a while. Elias starts going home at a reasonable time in the evenings and Jon is actually getting some sleep. and then-

Elias is having a nice dream about Peter trying to fish Simon Fairchild out of a sky filled with eyes when he abruptly sits up in bed, wide awake.

"Ah, fuck," he says to Peter, who is laying on the floor where it is Lonelier™. "Jon's doing something stupid. I Know it."

Peter's mumbled "isn't he always" goes unnoticed as Elias hurries to the Institute, where he finds a fucking rib on Jon's desk and the coffin in the middle of the room.

Peter Lukas has named the chat 'archivists ruin my sleep schedule and my sex life'

JMagnus 👀: What the fuck do I do?? I can't go into the Buried! Why is Jon so stupid? I didn't know he had zero braincells when I hired him!

🔥: ngl why havent you fired him yet

JMagnus 👀: Beholding won't let me. We're all bound to the Institute.

🔥: F

JMagnus 👀: Why are there no Buried avatars in here? Please someone help me.

mike n ike: lol the buried is gross why would anyone go down there

spidey🕸: does he have an anchor?

[JMagnus 👀 sent an image]

🔥: is that a fucking rib

spidey🕸: wow that's not a good anchor at all

spidey🕸: he needs someone he loves

JMagnus 👀: Thanks. Gtg.

spidey🕸: np

🔥: are we not going to talk about his rib

🔥: how the fuck did he get that out of his body

🔥: yall

🔥: YALL

it takes three days for Elias to find Martin.

"Please tell me why the fuck you're dabbling in the Lonely," Elias says as Martin steps sheepishly out of the fog.

"Ah. Well. Jon can't See into it very well and sometimes we like to spice up our se-"

"Stop before I have to gouge my eyes out again."

"A-Again-?"

Elias drags Martin back to the Institute. Martin starts setting tapes on the coffin because "Jon loves these" and Elias starts bashing his head into the wall.

Jon climbs out of the coffin with Daisy and Elias almost considers locking Jon in his office so the damn archivist can't do anything else ridiculous. instead, Elias very calmly takes Jon by the shoulders, and shakes him like a rag doll.

"Stop fucking with entities, you stupid, stupid man," Elias says, shaking Jon more viciously now.

after several hours of breathing exercises Elias returns to his house and doesn't take his Sight off of Jon for the rest of the night, which is a fun experience for Peter when he wakes up and finds Elias' bloodshot eyes staring directly at him in the morning.

JMagnus 👀 added Daisy to 'archivists ruin my sleep schedule and my sex life'

Peter Lukas has named the chat 'archivist hate club'

JMagnus 👀 has named the chat 'shut up peter'

Peter Lukas has named the chat 'you love jon more than me'

JMagnus 👀 has named the chat 'I don't love either of you I'm heartless'

Peter Lukas has named the chat 'I want a divorce'

spidey🕸: jeez take your marital dispute elsewhere

spidey🕸 has named the chat 'lonelyeyes dni'

Daisy: wtf is this

mike n ike: it's a chat for avatars

mike n ike: and ex avatars ig

Daisy: didn't I kill you

mike n ike: yea

JMagnus 👀: Hello, Daisy. Welcome to the group chat.

Daisy: why is Jon not in here

Peter Lukas: because I hate him 😁

spidey🕸: Elias talks mad shit in here and Jon would get offended

Daisy: if you talk bad about Jon I'll rip your throat out

Daisy: :)

JMagnus 👀: Noted.

mike n ike: he's kinda rude tho

Daisy: I've killed you once

Elias' only goal now is to keep Jon and his assistants from pulling any more wild stunts without his supervision. his renewed involvement with the archival staff results in a few things he'd hoped to avoid: drink invites, physical contact (Martin is surprisingly quick to start hugging Elias once he realizes Elias won't stop him), and- shudder -feelings. because Elias genuinely cares about his staff and doesn't want any harm to befall them. especially Jon. Jon is his Archivist, the only one to ever succeed like this, and Elias will be damned if he lets anything happen to him.

"Why do you care?" Jon asks, once, compulsion thrumming like static on his tongue. "About us, I mean. I would've assumed you'd want to perform the Beholding's ritual."

Jonah Magnus attempted the Watcher's Crown once, when he was young and new. he'd brought his patron close, but not all the way through, and the backlash of power killed all the inmates at Millbank and severely crippled Jonah's connection to the Eye for months afterward. he grew to assume that the Beholding simply preferred the world as it was--ripe with fear for watching. it didn't need a ritual.

he instead dedicated himself to growing stronger, cultivating his Institute of knowledge, his stronghold. if he tore out a few people's eyes when he got too old, then, well, collateral. but he doesn't want the world to end, and knows now that no ritual will ever succeed unless it brings in all the Powers at once. and he doesn't want that either.

it's concerning to him that Jon seems to be collecting marks regardless. the only ones he's missing are the Dark and the Lonely, and Elias is determined to keep it that way.

he explains all of this to Jon who, to his credit, takes it pretty well. Jon is fascinated with historic life and Elias spends some time simply recounting tales of his youth, when he still bore the name Magnus.

they bond. it's good.

and one day Basira does a little too much research and discovers the dark sun waiting in Ny Alesund. she insists they need to go and see what's left of the People's Church, they need to ensure everything is taken care of. Jon is rather insistent too. and Elias wouldn't have been inclined to let them go, except Peter was finally home after weeks at sea, and it wasn't like Jon was defenseless, he could call Elias if anything went wrong...

so, very reluctantly, Elias gives them the all clear. Basira, Jon, and Martin head north, and Elias almost forgets they've gone when he arrives home and Peter already has dinner prepared.

Jon comes back marked by the Dark.

Elias curses himself, over and over, for being foolish enough to let them go, for not keeping a closer eye on them. he knows the ritual won't work unless a certain incantation is spoken, so he'll just have to keep world-ending written chants away from Jon. easy. and it's not like Jon will even get marked by the Lonely. Peter wouldn't.

(but Martin doesn't have the same level of control, and sometimes...)

it's an accident. Martin and Jon are testing it, pushing the boundaries, when Martin pulls them both into the Lonely. Elias threatens divorce until Peter caves and fetches them, but it's too late. Jon has been marked by all fourteen Powers.

Elias tells him, and warns him to check everything he reads.

helen!!!!! has named the chat 'apocalypse babey'

JMagnus 👀: How are you doing that?

JMagnus 👀: And the apocalypse is not imminent. I have the situation under control.

olive ⚰: ha yeah

JMagnus 👀: What do you mean by that?

olive ⚰: nothing

JMagnus 👀: Well, now I certainly think it's something.

olive ⚰: it's just

olive ⚰: don't you think it's kinda weird that @spidey🕸 has been offline for so long

🔥: thats weird shes always online

JMagnus 👀: Oliver, what are you implying?

olive ⚰: idk

olive ⚰: just weird, that's all

🔥: never good when the spiders are quiet

olive ⚰: hear hear

Elias gets a sinking feeling in his stomach, and beside him, Peter looks alarmed. meanwhile, in his flat with Martin making tea in the other room, Jon has a statement clutched in his grasp.

Hello, Jon.

I would apologize for the deception, but I'm afraid that's quite what I'm good at. I'm not one to monologue, that's more Jonah's shtick, so shall we get on with things?

I admit I underestimated Jonah Magnus. He's still remarkably easy to manipulate, but when he abandoned the Watcher's Crown ritual I knew I would have to take a different approach. The Mother is not so satisfied with the world as she may have insinuated. It is our turn to rise, Jon.

At the age of eight, you were marked by us. We sent you to the Magnus Institute in the hopes that a new Archivist would rekindle Jonah's desire to end the world. Unfortunately, it seemed as though he grew fond of you, and so we brought in a new plan. We marked you. One fear at a time. Jonah gave an admirable attempt at protecting you, but ultimately, he is an incompetent old fool, and I am a Weaver. Even Jonah Magnus dances to invisible strings.

Everyone underestimates a spider until it bites. Poison is poison, Jon, regardless of the medium in which it is served.

You will be safe in this new world. Martin, too. Perhaps even Jonah and his Lukas, if the Mother deems them worthy.

Now, please repeat after me...

Jon reads the ink scratched words, eyes welling up with tears and hands trembling, as thunder crashes outside and a howling gale picks up beyond the windows. Martin is shouting something, there's the crawling press of Elias' gaze as it rests heavy behind Jon, a silent observer. He can feel Elias' soothing presence, cool and calm in the raging storm.

Elias is still watching out for him.

Strings are wrapped around his wrists, jerking his arms up in a poor mockery of religious regard, strange hysterical laughter clawing out from his throat.

Jon's tears run red. Somewhere, Elias is still watching.

The door opens.

[extremelyblackandwhite]

reader being best friends with carter while he's chasing serena but also being in love with him?

CARTER BAIZEN APPRECIATION SQUAD ASSEMBLE! (i promise i’ll get to non carter requests)

y/n and carter had known each other for a while

they had met during a summer at the hamptons when his parents invited her family over for dinner

she had helped him inside the house after returning from a particular night out which to his parents was a meeting with some of his friends to go over stuff for the new school year

from then onwards carter and y/n became friends

he would meet her in the back of her parents apartment and the two would drive around the nights of new york talking about their problems

it hadn’t taken long for y/n to fall in love with him

he was an attractive, smart man who seemed to have more goals other than the vapid boys she knew from st.judes

it wasn’t like she expected him to return her affections. she was his sister’s age, 3 years younger. she knew he wouldn’t be interested so she hid it deep inside her heart where no one would see it

after all she’d rather have a tiny bit of his heart than have to pretend he never existed

maybe she should’ve seen it coming that he would leave, but she didn’t and one afternoon as she knocked on his door to pick him up to go for their weekly lunch at his favourite spot was the moment she wished she could’ve avoided it

it was his mother who had opened the door, tight smile on her face, pity in her eyes as she stared at the girl in front of her “do you not know, sweetheart?” “am i supposed to know something?” “he left. says he doesn’t want anything to do with this family anymore”

her heart stopped for a while, the buzzing sound of her mind wondering why, why he wouldn’t tell her

it had been his sister caroline who had helped her through it, telling her he wasn’t even worth the hazzle, to instead focus on the much more attractive boys her age attending st.judes

y/n wasn’t interested but as time flew by she slowly learned to accept that he wasn’t returning

she had built a life for herself, becoming one of constance’s shining stars holding near perfect grades

she had also built a friendship with blair waldorf after serena had left her, both of them bonding over having someone leaving unexpectedly 

“my mum was supposed to host a tea party for CeCe and she went to paris. usual” “do you need any help?” “wanna come? might make it less boring besides you still need a date for cotillion“ “well not everyone can have nate archibald for a date” “i am pretty lucky aren’t i? but you need a date, you cannot not have an escort. even serena is taking ... dan” “alright, i’ll go to the tea party” “perfect”

she should’ve not gone. she should’ve just accepted caroline’s invitation to go shop for a cotillion dress but she didn’t. she couldn’t see the future.

as she walked off the lift into the van der woodsen’s apartment, a familiar face showed, sat in a couch surrounded by girls 

“y/n” blair rushed over to her side “i don’t want to frighten you but ... carter’s here” “i’ve seen.” “i want you to know that i didn’t invite him. cece invited him, she wants him to be serena’s escort.” “that’s fine” “are you sure? i could kick him out” “that’s fine”

it wasn’t fine. 

she spent the whole tea party as further from him as possible, not sure of what to say to him or how to even react

although she had to admit it broke her heart that he wasn’t interested in even talking to her, instead looking her way and immediately turning to receive the praise of several girls

“he’s not even that attractive” blair rolled her eyes at her minions which were fauning over him “urgh, imagine being attracted to a wannabe matthew mcconaughey” “you don’t have to make me feel better, blair” “look at that last season suit. disgusting” 

she stayed until the end of the party, chatting up with several people who came to ask about her family business and by the end of the party she had even started to help the maids bring dirty dishes into the kitchen

“you were always an odd one, i have to give you that” a voice made her drop the porcelain onto the soapy water and turn her face towards its direction. carter. “y/n, i’m really sorry” “yeah i could tell since you didn’t call or write after you left” “i didn’t have any way to contact you” “you didn’t even tell me you were leaving carter. do you know how it felt walking up to your house and having your mother tell me you left?” “i had to go y/n” “so have i, carter.”

she didn’t want to speak with him, she didn’t want to fall back into the state

at least she had decided not to speak with him until nate punched him at cotillion 

“you look like shit” “thanks, y/n.” “i gotta say, i wanted to do that myself. nate stole that away from me” “how long are you gonna be upset with me, y/n?” “as long as i want” “c’mon, let’s do something together” “i said i would act civilised with you not lobotomised” “c’mon, y/n. i’ll pay” “do you even have any money? didn’t your parents cut you off?” “i’ll find a way” “... fine. the bar of the lotte new york palace

blair and caroline had told her not to go but she thought that it would be better to get it over and done with. to call it water under the bridge and not have him haunt her what ifs anymore

she found him at the bar of the palace, black suit on. he never used to wear suits, she still remembers him in his messy st. judes uniform, undone tie all the time

“you came” “i said i would” “i know you have every single reason to hate me but i miss you, y/n. i really do. i have so much to tell you” “some people would use a journal” “i fucked up, i know but ... second chance? you can punch me too if you want” “that’s a really good offer, i think i’m gonna pounder it” “how about i pick you up tomorrow night? late driving around new york” “you got yourself a deal, baizen”

soon enough she found herself in the same situation, still in love with him

he was still the same man, still the same chuckle, talking passionately about his projects, making stupid jokes

but one thing still was the same, the same thing she didn’t want to accept, he still would never reciprocate her feelings

“y/n, i can’t pick you up tonight. i have a date with serena.” “serena van der woodsen?” “yeah, do you mind?” “uh ... no... sure, go on”

her blood boiled out of jealousy

she always thought the reason he would never reciprocate her feelings was because she was younger but serena, serena was the same age as her and it stung, it stung so badly

she ended up at the house of the same person who could understand being jealous of serena : blair waldorf’s

“oh, please, y/n. seriously? carter? he’s so ... boring. god” “well i’m sorry blair not everyone can have their first time in the backseat of a limo with chuck bass” “hey now that nate is single maybe you should go out with him” “i’m not gonna go out with nate” “why you two would make such a nice couple” “i’m not in love with nate” “i’m sorry, y/n.” 

she pretended it was okay

she would smile whenever he talked about serena

she would be next to him when she undoubtedly got him inside her petty little games with chuck

she would be there when he quit her and she would be there when he took her back

she was there for everything until one morning where she was woken up by someone banging on her door

“nate?” “something happened and you might want to sit down” “what happened? are you okay?” “serena left with carter last afternoon” “what do you mean?” “they left y/n, together.”

suddenly she found herself in the same spot she had been years ago abandoned

he returned later that summer during the races but this time she didn’t forgive him

she spent the day with dan and blair, mindlessly listening to serena talking about how carter followed her but she knew better

she knew they’d be back together and surely again they were

carter should feel happy, serena was back but he didn’t feel better

he felt ... empty, like something was lacking

whenever he laid down next to her and feel asleep he dreamed of y/n

he dreamed of her vintage oversized tees reaching her knees as she read her favourite books in his study 

he dreamed of her laughter whenever he took her to a driver in theatre, fingers holding popcorns to her lips

he dreamed of her red tinted lips during festivities, dancing under streetlights singing showtunes, bitting her lips whenever she had a test

he convinced himself it was just missing her but part of him knew it wasn’t that

he should be with serena, her family approved, his family approved

so he stuck it out, convincing himself this was a phase just a phase

as serena dumped him on the side of the street he looked at the streetlight, remembering y/n in an oversized cardigan jumping puddles over it, twirling around it playfully

“what am i doing?”

he rushed down the streets of the upper east side like a mad man

he’d never walked this long

but he kept on walking, he kept on walking until he saw her apartment

he knocked on the door for what felt like a hundred times 

“i’m coming” he could hear her sleepy voice from the other side and sure enough, soon enough the sound of her steps became too loud and she opened the door “carter, what are y...” “let me just say something okay? then you can shut the door” “it’s 1 AM” “please” “20 seconds” “i’m sorry, y/n. i’m so sorry, i should’ve told you when i left years ago, i shouldn’t have left with serena. i should’ve stayed with you. you always listened to me, you always believed in me and i always let you down. i miss you, i miss having fights with you about star wars plots, speaking with you on the phone at 5 AM, trying to make you laugh when you were upset. i miss seeing your sleepy smile every single morning, i miss you” “carter” “all this time being with her i just kept thinking about doing those things with you. taking you to cotillion, dance with you, be at your graduation and help you move into college, take you to fancy bars and restaurants, buy you flowers and everything else money can afford and i missed out on it, i missed out on it and i cannot give them to you. but here’s what i propose ... i wanna be there when you graduate from college, i wanna be there to help you move into your very first apartment, i want to be there when you start your first job, i wanna be there for you.” “you’re not one to stick around, carter” “let me try, please let me try” “isn’t this your third chance?” “i will ask you for a million chances as long as i get to see you for the rest of my life” 

[jayankles]

Your Turn

Pairing: No pairing; general Dean fic

Word Count: 2016

Summary: Dean and his wife are woken up by their baby, his wife encourages him that it’s his turn to take care of her.

Written for: @spngenrebingo​ / @goodthingshappenbingo​ / @spndeanbingo​ / @spnaubingo​

Squares Filled: playing pretend / pillow forts / Bobby Singer / single parent au

Also for @sdavid09​ ’s bingo challenge. The square filled is below to avoid spoilers.

A crying baby is what woke them. She snuck her hand around Dean’s waist and pressed a kiss to the back of his neck. “It’s your turn, baby.”

“I know. I got her. Go back to sleep.” He rubbed her hand before bringing it up for a kiss. “Alright, baby girl, daddy’s coming.”

Dean sat up, the palms of his hand digging into his eyeballs, rubbing the sleep from them. He got up, his feet stepping into his comfortable slippers. Grabbing his robe, he tied the belt loosely around his waist, he was ready for action to get his daughter to sleep.

“Come on, Lilah.” Dean leaned over with a small smile on his face, even though Delilah was sobbing her heart out, it didn’t matter. All he saw was a healthy happy baby that just wanted cuddles from her daddy. “You wanna cuddle with Daddy? Before you wake Scarlett because the two of you in the morning is a nightmare. You don’t know how outnumbered I am with you girls.”

Lilah continued to cry but as soon as Dean picked her up from the crib she calmed a little, her cries settling a little after she nestled into his chest. She loved her father so much but Dean loved Delilah a little more, she had him completely wrapped around her tiny little fingers. All she had to do was smile and he was gone.He was all hers. Any of his girls could have him at the blink of an eye, a snap of their fingers, or something as simple as a smile.

When she started to fuss again, Dean started with a hum, he couldn’t figure out which song to sing, about three of them roaming around in his mind. After a few minutes of humming ‘Hey Jude,’ he finally decided on ‘Baby Mine’ from the Disney movie Dumbo. It was the only song that worked with Scarlett when she was younger and it was his wife’s favourite song to sing her too; as he sung the words Dean rocked too and fro. Delilah’s little hands balled into Dean’s shirt but he soon noticed that they had loosened and her breathing had evened out.

After he was sure that Delilah had conked out for a few more hours, he laid her back in her crib, draping the light blanket back over her, softly rubbing her stomach. “Goodnight, Lilah. See you in a few hours, Sweetheart.”

Walking down the hallway, Dean checked on Scarlett. She was adorable, of course, snuggling her stuffed octopus. She was rocking the bedhead vibe as always, something that he would have to fix in the morning. He wouldn’t tell her but he loved brushing Scarlett’s hair and secretly watching the hair tutorials to see which style he could help Scarlett pull off for school.

“Goodnight, Princess.” He whispered, closing the door behind him and heading back to bed. He would need all the sleep he could get.

Sneaking under the covers, he whispered once more. “I love you, mama, goodnight.”

*

“Yay! Grandpa Bobby is here!” Dean said, his eyes finding Scarlett’s before her face lit up like a Christmas tree. It had been a while since the girls had seen their Grandpa. Their favourite one at that.... Or their only Grandpa, but it was nice to be loved.

“Grandpa!” Scarlett dropped her toys and quickly made her way over into Bobby’s arms. “Can we goto the park today? Get some secret ice cream?”

She was a terrible whisperer, he would have to teach her a few tricks of the trade so her father wouldn;t be able to hear her the next time she spoke of any innocent secret. 

“You know I can hear you, right? And if you go for secret ice cream without me , there will be no My Little Pony.” Dean got up from his extra small seat, taking Delilah with him. “I don’t say this enough but thank you for being retired, Bobby Singer.”

“Are you just using me for a free babysitting service, boy?” There was a stern look on his face as usual but it melted away as soon as Scarlett spoke.

“I can pay you with hugs and kisses.”

“Did you put her up to that?”

“Absolutely not. I would never put your own granddaughter against you.” Dean smiled, a devious one like this was a plan that he had concocted but in all honesty, he had nothing to do with it. “I will see you later.”

He waits for Scarlett to jump down before giving Delilah over to Bobby. He plans a soft kiss to the baby’s head. He moves on to his first born, crouching down to the floor and adjusting the toggle on her hoodie that she wears so often. 

“I’ll make you a deal. You be good for Grandpa, he can get you some ice cream as long as you get me some and stick it in the freezer. If you do that, we’ll have a movie night at the weekend.”

“I wanna do that, yes. Lots of sweets and chocolate and popcorn.” She almost dies at the fact that she’s going to have a movie night. Dean has something else planned first and it was something that he had hoped that they would love even more than just a movie.

*

As much as Dean hates it, he has to go, has to leave them and go to work. He had already taken a long break but he knew he had to go back. It was time. Dean couldn’t bear to part with his girls, not even for a minute but he had to. 

His coworkers welcome him back with open arms. It had been a rough few months but he was hanging in there. His best friend, Benny, held him so tight that he was afraid he would lose him; Benny may have also broken a few of Dean’s ribs but he loved it more than he would care to admit.

“Good to see you, brother.” Benny gave him one more squeeze before releasing him.

Dean just nodded, his words caught, he couldn’t say anything with his heart in his throat. He gave Benny a slap on the back before he took a step back and coughed, masking his pain.

By the time lunch rolled around, Dean was a lot more tired than he thought he would be, the long nights that he had with the girl had really taken its toll on him. Maybe he shouldn’t have rushed back to his job.

Reaching into his bag, he pulled out his lunch box and his small bottle of pills. Dean had got accustomed to taking the meds ever since Lilah was born, it was one of the many things that he remembered to do each and every day. Dean knocked down the two daily pills, swallowing them with a drink of water.

Dean had taken a bite of the second slice of his sandwich before he put it back down in the box, his fingers running through his slightly longer hair. Inhaling, he tried to keep calm and keep himself from crying, he had done well so far, and had only thought about the situation twice today. But it still didn’t stop the pain that he was feeling, he just wanted to get back to his family back home. The pills would kick in and bring him back down to the dark reality that he was living.

Benny came in not too long after Dean did, neither man said anything, not for a long time and it was beginning to get awkward. The pair hadn’t seen each other since just before Lilah was born a few months ago, there had been texts and calls, keeping up with each other seeing how Dean was holding up and asking whether or not he needed any help around the house. Dean kindly refused Benny’s help, thanking him for his offer and telling him that he was welcome to come over to the house and see Lilah and Scarlett whenever he wanted, when he returned to work. He just needed that time with the kids before he shared them with anyone else. Benny completely understood, any other time, he would have chewed his ass about spending all his time with his babies but Benny knew that he needed to spend this time with them.

“Sorry, I dipped.” Dean muttered, popping an orange slice into his mouth, Scarlett had helped him make his lunch before he put her to bed last night. The thought alone made him smile a little bit. “I shouldn’t have done that to you, you deserved better.”

Benny gave a lopsided smile, “it’s all good, I know your struggles.”

“It’s still no excuse, man.” “Listen, if you’re still beating yourself up about it... how ‘bout you and your girls come over to my place and we’ll have a barbecue. Andrea can take a load off and help with the kids and you can cook your famous burgers that you know we love and I’ll do my steaks. We got you, brother.” 

Dean was left speechless, he truly couldn’t believe the kindness of his best friend, even though Dean felt as if he had treated Benny like shit, Benny still had his back.

*

Turning the key in the door, Dean stepped into his house, and the house that he had made a home. The house was somewhat quiet and he wasn’t sure whether to take that as a good sign or a bad sign. He threw his bag and coat into the closet, strolling through the house and going in search of his girls. Dean then got to the living room, his heart soaring as he watched Bobby and Scarlett interact. The two of them sing to Delilah, trying to stop her from crying, so far it was working and they got little smiles out of her.

“How are my favourite people in the whole wide world?” 

“Daddy!” “Dada!” Scarlett and Delilah screamed when they saw Dean leaning on the door frame with a soft smile on his face. 

“Now, how about a pillow fort and a movie, yeah?”

Dean quickly got changed into his nightwear, whilst Bobby helped Scarlett into hers. Dean had taken the time to start creating the best pillow fort that he had in awhile. It was difficult at first, Lilah crying when she didn’t get enough of Dean’s attention but he finally strapped her into his chest in one of the carrier contraptions that he so hated to put together, his wife was always better at that stuff, especially the car seat straps.

The couches cushions were first to join the comforter on the floor. Broomsticks and chairs and furniture were moved around so Dean could create a canopy over the television. It would be the perfect, comfortable, little getaway for them. Dean was ready for Scarlett to put in the finishing touches and pick the movie. He couldn’t wait to spend the night with his babies watching Scarlett’s favourite Disney movie for the thousandth time since it came out. It was a surprise when Bobby decided to stay and bring in all the snacks; the popcorn, the gummy bears and the juice boxes even for Dean and himself.

Not even halfway through the movie the four of them had conked out for the night, they all had a busy day and they needed their sleep so that they could do it all over again the next day.

Dean’s wife smiled as she stepped into the living room, watching as her husband and their two baby girls slept. She tucked them all in, even the man she considered a father figure, she wished she could do more but there was only so much that a ghost could do, but she would return to Dean in the morning like she always did. She would do so until Dean got over her but in the end she would be waiting for them. It was always going to be Dean’s turn to be at Delilah’s beck and call.

This fills the ‘character death’ square for Shanna’s bingo.

Forevers: @super100012​ @lupine-princess​ @plaid-lover-bay25​ @atc74​ @growningupgeek​ @sophiebobzz​ @docharleythegeekqueen​ @poukothenerd​ @grace-for-sale​ @mrswhozeewhatsis​ @jesspfly​ @supernaturallymarvellous​ @sammysgirl1997​ @roxyspearing​ @mogaruke​ @be-amaziing​ @deanandsamsbitch​ @frankiea1998​ @hennessy0274-blog​ @spn-dean-and-sam-winchester​ @iwantthedean​ @capsheadquaters​ @emoryhemsworth​ @notmoose45​ @essie1876​ @cassieraider​ @brewsthespirit-blog​ @its-my-perky-nipples​ @riversong-sam​ @jotink78​ @captainradicalpassion​ @jadalecki-jackles​ @spnbaby-67​ @holyfuckloueh​ @gh0stgurl​ @alyssa6marie​ @esoltis280​ @bumber-car-s @alexwinchester23​ @x-waywardaf-x​ @thisismysecrethappyplace​ @randomparanoid​ @kellianz​

Dean: @kenmen02​ @ain-t-bovvered​ @deans-baby-momma​  @ericaprice2008​ @shamelesslydean​ @thing-you-do-with-that-thing​ @wingedcatninja​ @mayasmedberg​ @kurosaki224-new-blog @valerieshubin @milo-winchester-4ever​ @sandlee44​ @ruprecht0420​ @akshi8278​ @smoothdogsgirl​ @dslocum89​ @plaidstiel-wormstache​ @ria132love​ @welldonebeca​ @iamabeautifulperson18​ @starry-chaos @deans-treasure @larajadeschmidt13​ @nyxveracity​ @dean-winchesters-bacon​ @adoptdontshoppets​

[purplesurveys]

1147

Have you ever overflown a bathtub? Hmm, I can’t remember ever doing that.

Why did you ignore the last person you ignored? My new manager, Kata, messaged me a bunch of links to EXO’s videos to get me into them – I looooove that she’s friendly and we vibe super well so I have a feeling will be close soon enough, but I’m still a bit shy so I ignored her for a bit while I was thinking of a reply haha. I’ve since gotten back to her, though.

What's your favorite pizza place? Yellow Cab’s pizzas have never failed me. Mama Lou’s is good too, but they don’t deliver to my area so I haven’t had their pizzas and any of their food in over a year now.

What was the last stupid thing someone talked you into believing? That we can stay friends. I believed it for a while and it was so mentally and emotionally deteriorating for me, so I did the right thing and let go instead.

What's at the top of your to do list in life? Save. I’m superrrrr frugal with my money and hate spoiling myself. I’d rather enjoy everything in the future once I feel like it’s right to settle down.

What's a song that would describe your life at the moment? What Type of X by Jessi. Maybe not my life, but the song certainly matches my mood these days.

Do you ever scream at inanimate objects? Occasionally, if they’re not working or if I accidentally hurt myself with them.

What was the last thing that you shared? I just had lunch delivered to Angela’s place as a surprise, if that counts. I got her chicken wings and these chocolate chip cookies she’s always wanted to try. It feels really nice surprising people with gifts; I might start making it a habit :) I have to credit my director Bea for it - she’s been having food delivered to mine and Kata’s places recently and I just want to pay it forward.

What smell/s can you absolutely not stand? Fruits. We constantly have a stock of oranges because my parents and sister like having them after dinner, and the smell is nauseating. Spoiled food is also high up on my list, and the general smell in Manila is also very foul. Go to other places in the Philippines if you’ll ever visit!!!

Do you ever eat leftover pizza cold? Yessssssssssssssss. Idk why but I find it really good? like even if I eat it straight out of the fridge.

Where are you the most ticklish? The sides of my stomach and around my neck.

Would you put your life in danger to rescue someone? Someone absolutely important to me, yes.

When you're wanting a midnight snack, what do you normally get? I usually don’t really like the snacks we have in our pantry so unless I already had food delivered earlier in the evening I just let the hunger fade because I don’t like having food delivered that late anyway.

Which cartoon character would you want to keep as a pet? Buster from Toy Story. Or Maximus from Tangled but in dog form, because I don’t know how to care for a horse.

What color best represents you? Something peaceful like off-white, or a pastel shade.

Do you like marshmallows? I hate them.

What is your favorite flavor of candy cane? I also don’t like candy canes, or candy in general. Too sweet and I can always feel how unhealthy they are whenever I have to have them.

Do you have any shoeboxes full of old photos/letters/other memorable stuff? My mom has several plastic bags filled with photographs over the last few decades. As for me, I don’t own any memory boxes; but recently, I’ve been sticking up notes from my friends and co-workers up on my corkboard.

Are you in any way double jointed? Nope.

Have you ever considered a career in music/acting? Never. I never liked singing in public and I’ve never considered acting.

When was the last time you felt seriously embarrassed? A few days ago when I accidentally turned my camera on during a work Zoom meeting while I looked completely unpresentable. Luckily I knew I clicked the button and immediately un-clicked it, but my video still showed up for like 0.001 seconds lol.

Have you ever liked a song, looked up the lyrics to it, then hated it? I don’t think I’ve gone so far as to hate it. I have felt slightly disturbed upon hearing the lyrics of some songs I’ve taken a liking to though; and Cherry Wine by Hozier certainly ticks off this box.

Which is worse for you: being hot, or being cold? Hot, which is why living where I do doesn’t work with me well for the most part.

What would be the icing on the cake for you this Christmas? Get nicer gifts for my loved ones. I was able to get everyone presents last Christmas, but given that I had just received my first-ever salary then, I wasn’t able to go all out as much as I would’ve liked. I’d love to spoil my loved ones even more for next Christmas.

If you had the opportunity to live forever, would you take it? Probably, as long as I was guaranteed to live comfortably. I’d love to see how else technology can continue to improve.

Have you made someone happy today? I hope so, when I got Angela food earlier.

Do you generally watch a lot of television? I do watch my favorite shows a lot, but not on television. Most of my content I already consume online.

If your bedroom walls could talk, what would they most likely say? They’d probably go over all the shit I had to go through and the ensuing breakdowns they’ve had to watch from me over the years.

What's your favorite Christmas song? It’s Beginning to Look A Lot Like Christmas, because it makes me feel festive.

Did you ever really believe in Santa Claus? Only for a brief moment when I was introduced to the concept, but kid-me never bought it because he never showed up.

Do you like the band Relient K? I’ve heard of the band name but I’m largely unfamiliar with them.

Have you ever seen a movie that was better than the book it was based on? Maybe, but for the most part I usually find the books to be better.

Do you like quesadillas? Yes, omg and with jalapeños and cheese *chef’s kiss*

Did you like the show Invader Zim? Nope.

Do you think tomorrow will be a good day? I feel like I’ll be sullen because it will be Sunday again, but I still plan on making the most out of it.

Do you ever talk to yourself? A lot.

Whose butt did you last slap? Idk, probably my ex.

Do you think that chivalry is dead? I don’t think so, but I also think it’s a bit outdated.

What's the greatest/most influential song you've ever heard? That’s a lot of pressure on a song... as much as I don’t really like The Beatles, I’d say Hey Jude has been pretty influential.

What's the weirdest thing you've seen in a grocery store? Not sure. If I had thought something I’ve seen was the weirdest thing ever, I would’ve taken a photo.

What is true love to you? Sacrifices.

Do you like chocolate milk? YES, lactose intolerance be damned.

Have you ever bought yourself a present on Christmas? Not yet. I hope to be able to this year!

Have you ever been on a mechanical bull? Nope, but I’d definitely get on one if I find one here.

Do you prefer to pull off band-aids slowly or quickly? Slowly. Actually, I prefer running water over it until it just slides off.

Have you made a mistake in the past week? I am constantly making tiny mistakes at work.

What was the last weird thing you said to someone? Idk, I feel like all the conversations I’ve had recently didn’t involve any inside jokes or general weirdness.

Have you ever met any bands/band members before? I got to work with one - Redd is the drummer for a local band but he’s since resigned to work with another company.

Have you ever sat on a copy machine and made copies of your butt? No. I’ve never even used a copy machine.

Are you a camera whore? Not at all, I hate posing for the camera.

Have you ever purposely dropped someone's toothbrush in a toilet? Never even considered it.

What kind of mood are you in right now? A little sad because it’s the weekend and I can’t even do my weekend coffee shop trips anymore because Covid cases are experiencing another surge (9000 cases a day!!!), protocols are everywhere again, and my parents already told me I can’t go out...those moments were my rare time alone where I can take walks and reflect and whatnot (and not to mention experieince air conditioning for a few hours), so it sucks to have to be stuck at home again. There’s not much to do at home to begin with, so now I’m just stuck in a cycle of taking surveys and finding videos to watch on YouTube.

What was the last thing someone told you that had you at a loss for words? I was ranting to Andi about how I started despising Diane from BoJack Horseman the moment she flipped out over Mr. Peanutbutter gifting her an entire library. I get where she’s coming from, of course, “understand people’s love language” and all that; but I felt like the very hostile reaction was super uncalled for and it reminded me a lot of my relationship with Gabie – I liked giving and giving, but it was either 1) never enough or 2) apparently the wrong way to show her love, and I was always the one punished for it in the end. I told Andi that because of my experience with her, I don’t even feel like giving a library (metaphorically speaking) to any future significant others anymore because of how hard I had it with her. 

Anyway, they gave me some advice about it and in the end they told me, “One day, someone will tell you, “Thank you for your library.’” It was very beautifully put and I struggled to find the words to reply.

What's something that always makes you smile, regardless of what’s going on? I’m not sure there is such a no-fail thing.

What was that last thing that you bought online? Food for Angela.

Do you enjoy riding around town looking at Christmas lights? Yeah, but the general mood for last year obviously wasn’t super festive and there weren’t as much lights, so it’s been a while since I’ve seen my village all decked out.

Is there someone that you're mean to for no good reason? No, that’s terrible.

What was the last thing you got out of the freezer? The coffee ice cream that I bought from Leigh yesterday! It’s crazy fucking good and I already feel a repeat order coming through.

Are you currently reading anything? No.

What's a good book you'd recommend? I don’t read anymore. I know child/teen-me would be very disappointed.

[steebpark]

INTRODUCING STEVEN… @gallagherintro​​

⌠ SEO KANG JOON, 22, CISMALE, HE/HIS ⌡ welcome back to gallagher academy, STEVEN PARK! according to their records, they’re a SECOND year, specializing in PROTECTION AND ENFORCEMENT + COVERT OPS; and they DID go to a spy prep high school. when i see them walking around in the halls, i usually see a flash of (everyday funeral attire, sharp and vigilant eyes, rehearsed smiles, scribbles over sheet music, a jar of sourdough starter). when it’s the (leo)’s birthday on 16/08/1998, they always request their HANWOO from the school’s chefs. looks like they’re well on their way to graduation.

INSPO:

tadashi hamada

kim je ha (the k2)

robb stark (?) not

moon gang-tae

BIO:

hundy p inspired by it’s okay not to be okay dnt look at me

tw abelism, death, suicide, 

born into the crazy park fam *dj khaled vc* another one !!! 

grew up in seoul. sang woo is his korean name. he’s always gone by steven because the parks are just those kind of koreans. ( nicknames : steve, stevie )

he has an older brother of two years called andrew. he was born autistic.

the sole reason for steve being born was to look after andrew, so they didn’t have to, and to be groomed into an heir. they deemed andrew unworthy to be an heir and unfit to compete with rose and jude.

this fact was made known to him as a child. so, whilst he was the younger sibling, he had to quickly grow into this protective role. steve’s life mostly revolved around andrew. 

despite this, he’s always been a bit too soft for a park, used to be a massive cry baby, which is probably why his relationship with andrew has always been strong enough to get through the shitty times 

the park family would force the new generation to compete against each other, so the cousins were never that close, but there was an unspoken understanding of how fucked up their families were. however, due to all of this responsibility, steve didn’t care to compete with his cousins as he got older which forced his parents to become stricter.

they could only get him in line by messing with andrew because steve never cared for money and has always hated everything that comes with the park name. 

it only worked to an extent: toughed him up but they couldn’t quite mould him into what they needed him to be. his rebellion wasn’t a loud one, quite the opposite, which made it harder for them to control

anyway

rose dies. it rocks the family, most notably jude. he regrets not trying harder to reach out when she spiralled.

shortly after, his girlfriend disappears. parents offered her money and she took it. very kdrama i know. but they needed him to focus.

doesn’t want anything to do with the park legacy and tries to file for emancipation. the mere threat of it is enough for his parents to listen because they don’t want it getting out and damaging their reputation so they come to an agreement: he’s free !!

at 16, he’s independent -- not entirely as they paid for prep school -- and he transfers to the school in england, hoping for anonymity and a fresh start: no jude, no fam friends. never returned to seoul, cut ties with people from the past. took andrew with him.

obviously struggles in england. didn’t expect it to be easy but it’s A Lot so he eventually becomes involved with Shady Brandt work on top of all of his side gigs 

takes a gap year and works his ass awf. saves up. but brother dies in an accident. it’s accidental but he believes his parents orchestrated it. they didn’t. shit happens.

completes his first year at a spy college in england. returns to korea for mandatory military service which is a nice break from all the shady shit. 

the brandts reaches out to steve about a job -- gigi brandt’s protector. he’s hesitant because of the brandt’s connections to the parks but he takes it because it’s good pay and he plans on disappearing after college.

as much as he wants to detach himself from the park name, when he heard about elise, and then jude, the emotions he felt were overwhelming. so he doesn’t attend elise’s wedding or jude’s funeral. visits them both separately.

dreading gallagher because, well, the park name is everywhere and they have a bit of a reputation. feels like coming around full circle.

PERSONALITY

the Well-Adjusted Park ; Dad Jokes

not materialistic in the slightest -- steve says asos 5 pack save.

will be adding a few inches to his height bc it apart of his Gentle Giant trope uwu 

has a resting bitch face so first impressions might be bad tho he’s aware of this and is quick to smile as to not put anyone on edge

strong moral code but also has done some shady shit so maybe he’s a hypocrite

not confrontational, prefers to quickly dissolve situations as peacefully as possible. would rather avoid conflict. pretty desensitised to displays of aggression so hard to get a rise out of him.

weird posh boy hobbies: bread baking, jigsaw puzzles, piano, compose, lego, fixing clocks ... u get the gist. calm and solitary activities that involves hands and attention to detail. 

nice, friendly etc. etc. but difficult to form Deep n Meaningful friendships. has a bit of a wall which he’s working on. but maybe not since he’s planning on Poofing. idk i’m still figuring him out lads<3

WC

fam friends: steve most likely would’ve cut them off when he moved to england

prep school: people he knows from new york or england. he had a glow up tho so maybe your character doesn’t recognise him. embarrassing. 

landan: people he met in london! he had Normal Ppl jobs and pretended to be a Normal Person during the holidays. 

humuhumunukunukuāpuaʻa: someone who triggers him, intentionally or unintentionally? maybe they just like to make his job as difficult as possible.

head thots no empty ... will add more lata</3

[riot-in-reverie]

Villainous Neighbors

if you have name ideas let me know! this is just the place holder

this has violence but not much. i’ll post pictures in a different post because this is one the computer. 

@b00kworm @jurdanhell @cardan-greenbriar-tcp

Sorry if you didn’t want to be tagged

Chapter One 

Jude’s POV

The crowds cheering and applause was almost deafening. I watched the body before me crumple and collapse, beaten and broken onto the bloodstained ground. His limbs sprawled in unnatural directions. I drew my attention away from him and to the crowd. I raised my bandaged fist as I cried out in victory; The blood of my opponent dripped down my arm. I turned in circles so everyone could see me. I wanted everyone to see how I won. How I beat the brute now laying at my feet. The cheering crowd just made my smile grow and I stood there basking in the glory before quickly walking out of the makeshift arena and into the otherwise crowded space. I pushed through the drunken crowd and out of where the fighting pit was stationed. If you could call it a fighting pit. It was just a ring of people that made the illusion of a caged area.

 I was heading straight to the man that gave me my money. I never cared to learn his name, it didn’t matter anyway. I memorized what he looked like so I didn't have to know his name. Short, stocky, brown hair unevenly cut. As soon as I found him I took the envelope that he was already holding out to me. While looking at it I noticed that it was addressed to Mirth. 

Mirth was my stage name. I had used Mirth since I was little and had started participating in unlawful activities. I was now just too lazy to try and change it. I looked back up to the small man 

“It’s all here?” I asked while waving the envelope. 

The man nodded “Yes ma’am every cent”

“Good” I didn't bother checking it more than that. They had underpaid me once and had suffered the consequences. No one was going to cut me short. I had worked too damn hard my whole life to be paid less than I was worth. I seriously doubted they dared try and do it again after what had happened. I nodded to the man in farewell and left the place. I really hated it there all the gambling, drinking, false deals and all that shit. The only thing I liked was the money and the occasional chance to get away from my personal relationships. Of course the loud crowds and fights didn't allow lots of peace. The most peaceful part of this place was the luxurious rooms that big business owners talked about whatever the fuck they talked about. I never went there, that wasn’t my scene. I mostly spent my time in that small, loud, part in the back. I went through the parting motions of getting my jacket and changing shoes before stepping out into the delightfully cool night air. I sighed and tucked the envelope into a hidden inside pocket of my beloved leather jacket. 

As I walked down the suburban streets the only sounds I could hear were the soft clicking of my buckle up boots and swish of my ponytail as it brushed against the back of my jacket. As much as I love cheering crowds, rocking parties and other fun stuff that just happens to be loud I also really enjoy the quiet. The world stands still for a moment and you get to enjoy the small things. It's even better when it's dark. The dark has always been a favorite of mine. There is just something about the cold and the quiet, the unspoken, the soft silken dark, not seeing the color but the true presence, it's terrifying but beautiful. Maybe that's why I like it. Because for those moments I can forget for a while. Forget who I am and who I am supposed to be. Thinking if things where different. I never had the chance to be soft. I had to be bloody knuckles and broken glass. I had to protect those close to me. I wanted others to be afraid of hurting me. I sometimes wonder what it would be like if things were different and we had grown up with our parents. I would have gone to school instead of begging on the streets. I would have joined clubs instead of learning to pick locks. I might be dating a guy I love rather than a grade A jackass. 

Everything was just so different for me and the worst was that I like it. I like breaking bones and stealing. I like it when people look at me in fear. Maybe it's just the way I grew up. I could blame it on that right?

I pulled myself out of my thoughts before I went to a more dangerous place. Who knows what lies in this very twisted mind of mine. I seemed to have brought myself back to reality at a good time because I was coming close to our apartment. The apartment I shared with my sisters. The apartment I paid for. It was okay, it has three bedrooms and two bathrooms. Vivienne complained that we should buy a house since we have enough money. It's true that we have enough money. Thanks to me but it would be too suspicious for three teenage girls to buy a house all on their own so for now we have a nice apartment. I unlocked the door and went inside. I guessed it was probably about 10pm so Oak and Taryn were probably asleep. I walked in and saw Vivienne on the couch watching some show. I didn't care enough about what it was to ask. I hung up my jacket and started to take off my boots. 

“Did you win?” Vivienne said by way of greeting. She didn't look away from the TV. I'm not sure if she just wasn't interested or too worried about injuries. Sometimes I'd come back barely able to walk. She knew of my fights and even though she wasn’t happy about it she was more tolerant about it than Taryn was. 

“Course I did” I answered and kicked off my boots as soon as they were loose enough. 

“I’m going to bed you should too” I locked the door behind me and walked softly up the stairs so I didn't wake anyone. I pushed my door open and was immediately chucking clothes off. I threw my jacket onto the fuzzy chair in the corner of the room, changed into my old but comfortable pajamas and took my hair out. I stood in front of the full length mirror that was just propped up against the wall because I was too lazy to get a stand for it or hang it up or whatever you're supposed to do for it. I brushed my long willow tree colored hair out while staring at my too pale of a face. I sighed before crashing onto my bed that was pushed up into the corner of the room. Just another day in the life. I think I was asleep before I even hit the mattress. 

Cardans POV 

I stood there as the elevator moved steadily upward. I looked at my reflection in the polished silver walls. I was dressed in my usual business attire with the lose hanging white buttoned shirt, leather pointed shoes that I could see my reflection in, black pants that the store advertised as "dark grey" with no pockets forcing me to have a briefcase, and thanks to fucking stereotypes I had taken off my very stylish rings off leaving circular indentations on my fingers and most of my makeup. I tucked a strand of stray crow black hair behind my ear and started to unbutton the top button of my shirt. I don't know why I did it. It just became sort of a little good luck thing and whether it worked or not it made me look just a bit sexier. 

I heard the elevator doors ding and slide open. I picked up my briefcase and stepped out of the elevator into a large office. Looking around the office it had a whole wall of windows overlooking the city and a small sitting area that was completely pointless because the desk was literally five feet away from it. Sitting at the desk pouring over papers was a man that seemed to be in his mid forties. I stood there for a moment waiting for him to look up, after it seemed clear that he wasn’t going to acknowledge me anytime soon I cleared my throat. The man looked up at me with a shocked expression, the wrinkles under his eyes (no doubt from working late nights) creasing in worry. 

“Mr. Greenbriar I wasn’t expecting you till nine”

“I thought I’d stop by early” I said glancing at my watch that read half past seven “Aren’t you going to invite me to sit down?”

“Yes yes of course please have a seat” He gestured to the leather chairs across from his desk. I sat down in one and put my briefcase in the other. 

“Well I’ll get right to the point. I am supposed to get paid at the beginning of every month, correct?” 

“Well yes but…”

“And today is the first and yet I haven’t been paid. It also happens that today you scheduled a meeting. Should I be worried Mr. Smith?”

“Greenbriar I have talked to some of my people and we have decided that we won’t be paying you anymore”

I leaned forward in my seat. I had a feeling this was going to happen “Really?”

“We’re perfectly fine on our own, your protection is not needed. I’m not paying you protection money when there are no ongoing threats. We have state of the art security systems and we don’t need help from a teenage boy”

He obviously didn’t think of me as a threat. What an idiot. Soon enough he’d learn. “Hmm you seem awfully confident in your decision. Are you sure you're powerful enough to do this?”

“What does power have to do with it? I am in charge of a powerful business, yes, and am friends with other powerful businessmen so I suppose...”

“Power is everything” I interrupted. I looked back at his stupid little sitting area. It had a chess table in the middle. I crossed over to it and picked up a king turning it over in my fingers. Mr. Smith started to say something but I continued before he could start “Life is like chess. There are powerful people, powerful people who hire others to protect them, there are people who strive to be the king, there are people who move too fast, there are people who move too slow, there are impulsive people who don’t think before they move, and some people sacrifice everything. You just have to learn the rules and then you have to play better than everyone else, but no one ever wins that way and no one ever tells you about the other way. How you can break the rules. I break the rules and I'll tell you what Mr. Smith” I looked up and smiled a smile that hid dangerous secrets. “I'm going to be the deadliest piece on the board.” I dropped the chess piece on the floor and grabbed my briefcase. “I’ll expect your call in the morning” 

The walk home was less than pleasant. I should have drove then I wouldn’t be here cold and tired. I had more stuff to do once I got home or maybe it could wait till tomorrow. 

I was thinking about stuff on my to do list when I noticed someone in front of me. It was kinda dark so I couldn’t see super clearly but it seemed to be a girl about my age. Any other day I would have gone up and talked to her but tonight is just not that night. I turned the next corner and got to my house in the next couple minutes.

 I locked the door behind me and went right up the wooden stairs to my room where I quickly changed into my silk pajamas I got a few weeks ago. I looked at the clock. It was about nine to early for bed and too late for productive work. That left one option, my favorite. I quickly went downstairs and to the kitchen pulling out a half finished bottle of wine, turned on Criminal minds, and sprawled out on the couch. Just another day in the life.

[florafey]

Thoughts on QoN

I started reading The Queen of Nothing on 19 November, 2019, and finished it about fifteen minutes ago on 23 November, 2019. Much as I did with The Wicked King, here are my thoughts while reading.

Spoilers, of course, are under the cut

- Oak is EIGHT??? I’ve been writing him like a three year old this whole time lol whoops sorry Oak

- Idk how to feel about this whole Vivi/Heather thing it smells like manipulation to me

- Lmao Jude’s a freelancer gotta love it

- I have now named my Goblin Brain Grima Mog how dope is that name fr

- Jude is an adrenaline addict and that’s a fact

- “It feels good to be fighting someone other than myself” SWEETIE CARDAN LOVES YOU

- Oooooooh I like Grima Mog I have a feeling she and Jude are going to cross paths again, maybe in Faeire

- (Also not surprised by Grima’s prediction of Cardan being dethroned soon that boy hates his job more than retail workers during the holidays)

- Oh look, three books in and Jude is finally admitting her feelings for Cardan

- I love the juxtaposition between Taryn in her pretty dress and Jude literally being two steps from death and not seeming to care lol

- Hmmmm okay I want to believe that Taryn killed Locke but couldn’t this just be a way to get Jude back into Faerie??? Idk why they would want that but I don’t trust Taryn 

- (Also I hope Locke is dead it would be Taryn’s one redeeming quality)

- ooooooohhhhhh shit Taryn’s PREGNANT AASHHSJSDKJDKSSKLDSJDJSJ HAHAHHAHAH this is too good oh no

- There’s literally zero chance of this plan of Jude pretending to be Taryn is going to go well. Or even close to well

- “Squeeze hug” awww that’s gonna be in a fic I promise

- This feels like The Parent Trap

- I’m sweating

- ITS CAAAAAAARDAAAAAAAN 

- Oh and his tail is out wow good for him

- Fuck a duck I love his tail

- And gold eyeliner, stellar cosmetic choice if I may say so

- Yep I knew it see here she goes off to his chambers he’s gonna find out eeeeekkkkk

- He knowsssssss he been knew of COURSE he been knew how could I be so stupid to think he didn’t know it was Jude this whole time I’m a clown and a fool

- Wow I’m kind of soft right now I love my babies and they clearly love each other but they’re being so ANGSTY AAAAAA

- “Wisdom is for the meek” uhh??? Madoc what are you talking about bud

- Ahhhh see now Jude is getting protective over her throne and crown, she’s blooming into a Queen....good shit for sure

- Also Jude better be the spy she was born to be now that she’s in Madoc’s camp and he thinks she’s Taryn

- Oh, she’s going foraging in the woods? By herself? Yeah, this is gonna go great, Oriana, really

- Yeah def can’t trust Grimsen although I love how Holly Black describes his work and how they’re beautiful but also deadly and cursed

- I’d like to hear more about how he tried to kill Cardan with that ruby earring and failed lol

- tHE GHOST??? What the hell is he doing here???? Am I the only one who just thought homeboy was dead?? Yikes lol

- Ugh Locke was such a Man good thing he’s rotting now

- “You’re scheming” “I’m always scheming” yeah ain’t that the truth bby

- uh oh MOMMY KNOWS heheheheheh

- Well no wonder Cardan turned out like this look at how he was raised, poor boy

- I mean, to be fair, look at Jude while you’re at it

- Oh hey it’s the Roach

- OH HEY ITS CARDAN

- Awwww Vivi went to Cardan because she thought Jude was in trouble and not only did he go to the Roach to go get Jude but he came too !! wow for people who can’t stand each other they make quite the gang 

- I love how inconvenienced Cardan seems by Locke’s death but not actually sad lol what a mood

- Breaking into Grimsen’s forge does NOT sound like a good idea no sir

- Ugh king and queen wow

- I cannot WAIT for Madoc to realize the Jude is the High Queen I cannot

- AYYYY MY GIRL GRIMA MOG what did I tell y’all, hmmm?

- Wow Madoc really just stabbed Jude like that and is going to leave her ??? the disrespect

- Ohh my god oh wow her blood is making flowers grow she’s a QUEEN wow look at that, you go bby

- Ah fuck Jude, you got set up by the bumb ass father you have

- ABAHAHAHAHHHAH this isn’t funny but Jude falling from the rafters onto the banquet table is on par with the beauty of Kaz and Wylan falling through the ceiling onto Van Eck’s dining room table heheheh

- @hollyblack can I breathe??? Shit girl

- Cardan said THATS MY WIFE 

- Wow Cardan washing Jude’s hands herself??? This boy is in loooove

- Oak and Jude’s maid playing Uno ????? Iconic

- “You’re generally terrifying” oh same Cardan

- So Jude really could have pardoned herself this whole time!!!!!! Come ON sis how didn’t you pick up on that WE picked up on it (don’t worry tho we know you’ve been stressed it’s okay you’re here now)

- And Cardan really expected her to pardon herself I have no words for this boy 

- Jude and Cardan’s relationship is so strange but at least it’s healthy now, you know?

- Look at Cardan being vulnerable and Jude not being mean to him for it 

- He’s being KIIIIIND WHAATTT

- “This is my room, and that’s my wife” AAHAHAHHAHH

- Cardan touches her hair oh my gooooooood i’m dying send help

- Can y’all tell I’ve been deprived lol

- Hahahahah Jude trashed Lady Asha, as she should 

- So I think I like QoN Cardan the most, although I did find Cardan in the first two books terribly entertaining to read about (Srry Jude)

- So Taryn seems to be behaving better than she did in the first two books, kind of being a badass, knowing the Ghost’s true name and all

Cardan likes hearing about slushy machines are you kiDDING ME????

- “Our marriage is an alliance” okay but you sleeping in his shirts isn’t, now, is it? Or how about him petting your hair? Or you thinking he looks cute in gold eyeliner?? lol Jude get real

- Aw I like this Fand/Jude freindship us girls gotta look out for each other

- Grima Mog more like Grima MOM lol

- “Big horns, little dude” LMAO HEATHER STOPP

- I’m enjoying Heather, I have to say

- Finally they kiss it only took TWO HUNDRED PAGES 

- oh guys they really like each other im soft

- Casual hand holding? yes 

- I can’t believe these are the same idiots who were trying to drown each other in the first book 

- look they’re trying to be vulnerable and without armor I’m gonna cry

- I feel quite uneasy about this Queen Suren girl who’s parents have her leashed somehow

- Oh wow fuck Grimsen am I right

- Oh SHIT Cardan really broke the crown like it didn’t mean shit to him...the development...the wisdom

- Cardan really said I want my WIFE and my PEOPLE 

- Oh wait fuck fuck fuck oh no stop wait

- Lmao Jude collapsing on the floor is literally me whenever I have to be in charge

- Okay there’s gotta be a way out of this, I didn’t mean it literally when I said Cardan was a snake

- Hey, Jude’s like, smart as shit, no?

- Hahahaha she basically said “Cardan is like, 90% of my impulse control”

- I love how Taryn is hyping Jude up throughout this while shitshow, I love how the two of them have developed past their book one probems

- The Bomb teasing Jude about the dust on her skirts made my day

- Look at Jude really having healthy realtionships with the women around her, I’m so proud of my little murder gir

- Nicassia better come in clutch here, I don’t trust Jarel or Nore not one bit

- Uhhh that story Heather told about the snake that wanted to marry the princess made me howl with laughter and I don’t think it was supposed to

- Vivi got Cardan a snowglobe that says “Congratulations on your promotion” for his coronation gift and he kept did DID EVERYONE HEAR ME I SAID VIVI-

- Oh damn Kaye alright no need for all that

- Ohhhh I had totally forgot about the dress in book one that Jude ordered but received a different one instead... Cardan sent it?? wild 

- Okay I hope Jude knows what she’s doing but when has she ever not

- The UNDERSEA HEEEEEELLL YEAH

- Oh look and Cardan!!!!!!! Yeah Jude knew what she was doing that’s my girl

- Awwww look at that hug wow the development these two have been through is unreal I’ll keep saying it 

- “I knew little else, but I always knew you” KILL ME

- Oh wow mortals and mingling more with the folk this is good

- Robert of Jersey lmaoooo

- So the Ghost and Taryn ??? Kind of funny but I’m kind of here for it

- I’m literally so close to tears and I’m not kidding they’re having a fucking WEDDING CELEBRATION in the MORTAL WORLD with a banner that says “Congrats Newlyweds” yeah I’m crying now thanks a lot Holly

- Cardan adjusts his paper crown in the microwave reflection so it’s skewed......I don’t think I can react any more I really afjsflsdk

-Wow that was better than anything I could have imagined, hoped for, dreamed of

- The character development, the plot, the resolution, EVERTHING was astounding I’m blown away

This was long as shit If you made it this far, I appreciate you lol. Now go read all three Folk of the Air books again. Go now

[marlettwrites]

11/11/11 tag

I was tagged by the lovely @marie-writess! Thank you! Sorry this took me so long, I was really dragging my feet on writing my own questions.

1. How heavily do you plot before starting your story?

I like to make sure most, if not all of the details are planned out. I may change them later as I write, but it helps me a lot to know exactly where I want the story to go. If I don’t do this, I end up getting stuck. A lot.

At the very least, I like to have all my major plot points planned. Where are the characters starting? Where are they going? How do they get there, and what major obstacles do they encounter along the way?

2. Do you have writing schedule? If so, what does it look like?

I wish. I probably should start planning one. Right now, I write when I have the time and/or energy.

3. What are some common themes in the things you write? Is there anything that you almost always seem to include?

Okay, so found family. Always.

I’ve also been noticing a theme of family in general in most of my works. Often, there will be some form of familial conflict that is integral to the story. In A Curse of Healing, Jude is fleeing an abusive family and Kul is at odds with his dad. They find family within each other. In another story, a closeted trans teen is living with his anti-LGBTQ+ parents and siblings, in another one I have an Asian-American teen born to immigrant parents who doesn’t really understand everything his parents did for him and he’s kind of a little shit about it, and in yet another story I have a stay at home mom who feels like she’s losing touch with her husband and daughter.

So yeah, there’s a bit of a theme of a huge family divide that can either be fixed through mutual understanding, or ‘he/she/they is toxic, get the fuck out of there now’.

Also, not to be cheesy or anything, but I totally have a running theme of the power of friendship going as well.

4. What is the best piece of writing advice you’ve ever had given to you?

Writer’s Block? Don’t know her.

If you can’t think of what happens in your story next or how to word it, just write whatever is on your mind so you can blow your metaphorical nose. Once the clog is gone, you will be breathing freely.

5. What are some of your writer dreams? fears?

For dreams, I want to inspire people (specifically LGBTQ+, disabled, and POC youth) by showing them that they can be the hero of the story too. Really, I just want to help build a world where there is no ‘default’ character and a story with any kind of representation isn’t met with cries of ‘THAT character can’t/shouldn’t be a POC/trans/disabled/gay/a woman/muslim because *bullshit excuse for bigotry*!’

My biggest fear is that my ability to write won’t match up with what I want to do, and I’ll end up harming those groups instead of helping them.

6. When it comes to writing love are you more drawn to platonic or romantic love?

I love me some good platonic love. I adore sweet, wholesome friendships in stories. However, that doesn’t mean I’ll shy away from romance.

Although I can only think of two stories I have planned where a romance takes center stage

7. What weakness in your writing are you currently overcoming or have overcome?

I’m working on both writing and reading more regularly. I’ve had my nose stuck in a book since I first learned to read, but after my sophomore year of high school, I just kind of... stopped reading. 

I don’t fully understand why that happened, but I think a big part of it is that I pick up books based on how similar they are to the ones I want to write (because they’re all I want to read) and then I feel disappointed when it’s not MY book.

I know, I know, it’s stupid and paradoxical.

8. What do you see as your greatest strength as a writer?

I can do a grammar and spelling real good.

Okay, but seriously though. I try to make my characters complex beings that feel real. I want complicated relationships, moral quandries, and ‘oh shit’ moments of self-discovery.

People better be able to spend hours psychoanalyzing the characters up in this bitch.

9. Is there a genre you thought you’d never write in that you have? What are the genres that currently you feel you’d never write?

Honestly, not really? I’ve always loved reading fantasy and sci-fi, and that’s all I can think to write right now. If we’re counting subplots, I never thought I’d be able to write anything romantic, but then Jude and Kul came along and whOOpS!

Currently (and probably forever and ever until the end of time) I will never write erotica. Not because I think the genre is ‘inferior’ or whatever (it’s certain to present its own unique challenges, and I’d assume is as difficult to plan and execute as any other genre), but because I am extremely sex-repulsed. Just reading about two characters making out makes me extremely uncomfortable. I wouldn’t be able to do it.

10. What kind of characters do you struggle to write? Why do you think that is?

Oof, uhh... probably really crafty inventive characters. I don’t know enough about the way things work to come up with a rube goldberg on the fly.

But I’m going to have to learn, because guess what kind of character Kul is?

11. Who or what was your biggest motivation to start writing? Is it still the same today?

Okay, so this was a whole process for me, and I kind of have to write out the whole story now. Sorry not sorry.

I hated writing up until one particular assignment in the fourth grade. It was a very specific turning point for me. I had been creating fan characters for awhile before this happened, but what I didn’t realize while crafting their (not so) carefully thought out backstories, was that I was moving along the writing process.

So we get an assignment. We have to write a story about a quest in the fashion of a Greek myth. There must be a character who is sent on a heroic journey to do a thing, and there must be exactly three obstacles that get in the way of the hero’s goal.

I don’t remember exactly what I wrote, but I do recall that it involved my Sonic OC, Crystal Amber Fox. She was an anthropomorphic fox with ice powers and pieces of amber embedded in her body because I thought it looked cool, I guess. She was also the princess of the ice kingdom, and her parents sent her on a quest to... I think slay a dragon? I think she also had to take the prince of the fire kingdom with her (a black hedgehog with flame designs on his quills. Aptly named ‘Flame’, if I’m remembering right. Also, I think he was actually someone else’s OC that I saw on DeviantArt and subsequently went ‘Hey! Crystal should date him!’ To the creator of Flame the hedgehog, whoever you may be, I am deeply sorry for stealing your OC and putting him in a Greek-inspired epic without your permission).

Anyway, there was a swamp and a magic sword and a dragon that they were supposed to slay, but I doubt they actually did because I’ve always had a huge soft spot for dragons.

So it was fourth grade, and the teacher was probably expecting like, two pages.

I turned in twenty and got the elementary school equivalent of an A+.

It was while writing out that story that I first started to think ‘gee, maybe writing could be fun, actually’. Thanks, Mrs. Burpee. I owe you one.

To answer the second part of your question, in a way, my motivations are the same. I write because I like writing and that’s all there is to it.

My questions and tag list will be under the cut. :)

How old were you when you first realized you wanted to write?

What was the first story you ever wrote about?

What are some of your writing goals?

How often do you write, and do you have a writing schedule?

Who is your favorite OC that you've created?

Which is your least favorite OC?

What are three things you like about your writing?

What are three things you want to improve in your writing?

Tell me a bit about your current WIP!

What are you most proud of about your WIP?

What is your favorite scene that you’ve written in your WIP so far?

Tagging: @kai-writesstuff @quilloftheclouds @practising-writer @imaghostwriter @caz-writes @angelolytle @planets-and-prose @runningonrain

[mazzystargirl]

do you have any good book recommendations?

ok sorry this took me so long to answer but i have so much i want to recommend!!! thank you for giving me an opportunity to rant abt books, anon!!!! i also know this is going to be long so i put all my recs under the cut :)

it’s likely if you’re on tumblr that you already know about the main tumblr books (like six of crows or all for the game etc) so i’m not going to waste time telling you that you should read them if you haven’t. you should. they’re good.

here are some lesser known books that i don’t see a ton of fan content for! in no particular order!!!

1. Jane, Unlimited by Kristin Cashore. this is an all around weird (in the best way!!) book tbh. it follows a girl named jane who visits her friend’s house on an island. it’s split into five stories, each one a different genre and based on a choice that jane made. it’s sort of hard to describe, but it’s seriously so brilliant. also jane is a bi girl if you’re into that! 

2. The Summer of Jordi Perez by Amy Spalding. this is a lesbian rom-com! it’s about a girl named abby in los angeles who meets another girl (jordi perez) and they fall for each other. ITS SO CUTE UGH it’s full of really awesome friendship and romance that made me feel butterflies in my belly. ugh i love it so much. 

3. Dear Rachel Maddow by Adrienne Kisner. this book made me cry a lot. i think it can be a really emotionally heavy book, but it’s also very cathartic to read. it follows a girl, brynn, who’s brother’s died and she is struggling with the aftermath of that. the thing i love about brynn is how much she really cares about everything. she’s my favorite type of heroine, someone who tries so hard and cares so much, but has a lot of trouble expressing it because of sadness and stuff. maybe i’m projecting. also, brynn’s a lesbian. i think you can probably see a theme here. tw//suicide attempt

4. We Are Okay by Nina LaCour. i’m not sure how popular this book is but it’s good, ok. don’t let anyone tell you nina lacour books are boring. it made me cry like hell. it’s about a girl named marin who goes to college across the country from where she lives after her grandfather dies. she isolates herself from everyone in her old life, and it’s such a beautiful story of family and friendship and finding yourself after you think you’re so lost you can never recover. 

5. The Miseducation of Cameron Post by Emily M. Danforth. this book is amazing and not enough people have read it. i know you might have already heard of it but: follows a gay girl named cameron whose parents die and she navigates through being gay is montana in the 90s. highly, highly recommend if you haven’t read it! tw//conversion therapy

6. The Literary Works of Alice Oseman. she has a decent fanbase on this website, but just. read all her books. they’re so amazing. they’re all so realistic and indicative of the millennial/gen z experience in this day and age. highly, highly, highly recommend. her books are probably my favorites of all time! 

7. The Hate U Give by Angie Thomas. i know i said lesser known books, and this book is pretty popular, but ugh. this book. ugh this book is so, so, so good. it’s a must read! it’s about a girl named starr who is the witness to the murder of her friend khalil at the hands of the police. it has a very delicate exploration of relationships between the police and low-income black families. the core of the book is really about family and friendship and being strong in a time of hardship, and it’s very very touching and an extremely good piece of work. also it annoys me that there’s not more fanwork surrounding this book. i can’t draw but i wish i could JUST so i could draw starr and khalil!!! tw//character death

8. Release by Patrick Ness. this book follows a young gay boy, adam, through one day of his life, and it is a WEIRD day. there are some really insane supernatural elements, and it explores adam’s relationship with his friends, his family, his boyfriend, his ex-boyfriend, and more! it’s definitely on the heavier side, too. it’s sweet and sometimes really sad. it’s also such a beautiful book. patrick ness is SUCH a good writer ugh. tw//homophobia and sexual harassment

9. Whatever by S.J. Goslee. this book is SO funny ugh. it’s kind of wild but very cute. it’s about a boy named mike who realizes he’s bisexual! he’s a dumb stoner half the time but he drinks his respecting women and loving his friends juice so you end up adopting him halfway through the book. there are a lot of really awesome friendships and i love mike’s sister a lot too. tw//homophobia and biphobia

10. Evil Librarian by Michelle Knudsen. this book is also Very Funny. it’s about a girl named cynthia who realizes that her librarian is actually a demon from another dimension, and has to save her best friend annie from becoming his bride. it has such an awesome friend dynamic between cyn and annie, and also her two other friends diane and leticia! the romance between cyn and her love interest is also a very healthy and cute relationship that i love. plus the backdrop of musical theatre was also very cute because i love musical theatre lmao! there’s also a sequel and a third book coming out in august that i am Very Excited about!

11. The Darkest Minds by Alexandra Bracken! an actually good apocalypse novel series! a whole thing happens that makes a bunch of kids have superpowers, and they’re sent to basically concentration camps, and they have to overthrow the leader. i love the main character ruby and also love the relationship between her and her friends, zu, chubs, liam, vida, and jude. three books in the series and one book of novellas. 

12. Etiquette & Espionage by Gail Carriger. abt a girl named sophronia who goes to finishing school. the school ends up being a school for spies. chaos ensues. i seriously love this story so much. it’s set in a steampunk london, so lots of cool gadgets with the retro coolness of the victorian era. there are highwaymen, but they fly so they’re called flywaymen, and werewolves, and vampires, and a kid named vieve who is seriously such a delight. four books in the series. 

13. The Female of the Species by Mindy McGinnis. this book is so insane. it’s about a girl named alex craft who gets revenge on the asshole who murdered her sister. it’s an examination of rape culture and all the shit that comes with being a girl in high school right now. tw//sexual and physical assault

14. Stranger Than Fanfiction by Chris Colfer. so i didn’t know the author was in glee, i just picked the book up because i thought the cover was cool. and yes, it is not a perfect book. but it is wild. it is crazy. it has a lot of heart. and that’s what matters. it’s funny and just kind of a fun trip to read. the plot kind of feels like fanfiction at times, but you know what. its stranger than that. 

i hope you like these books anon!! they’re some that i really enjoyed and now i feel like i want to go back and read them again lmao.