#also i was pretty shitty to other kids i didn't like... glad i grew out of that but i feel bad for the kids i bullied
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i'm really glad that fanfiction gives me another outlet for all my romantic fantasies these days, because seeing all my childhood romantic fantasies as recorded in my diary is EASILY the most mortifying part of rereading that
#for some reason i was so fucking convinced that a bunch of my guy friends had crushes on me in late elementary school#and i'd also be like 'idk... i think i like them a little bit too? i have Affections(tm)... about this much %'#and a part of me is like. 'oh my god. is this the childhood comphet??' but thinking abt it now it's probably allonormativity#*hides face in hands* oh my god... my childhood self is just full of Obnoxious Horrors....#it's crazy how i can recognize little tiny snippets of my current self developing in my 8th grade diaries#and ofc i recognize a lot of my current self in my high school diaries#but rereading the start of my diaries from like 4th/5th grade it's like. 'WHO ARE YOU. OH MY GOD. YOU NEED ADULT INTERVENTION.'#'OR LIKE SOME KIND OF STORY WHERE ROMANCE N FRIENDSHIP ARE EXPLICITLY MADE EQUAL N IT SHOWS IN THE NARRATIVE'#also i was pretty shitty to other kids i didn't like... glad i grew out of that but i feel bad for the kids i bullied#not gonna lie tho like... not being able to recognize my own childhood self makes me really curious abt how i got here#like i know it's me so i have some pretty strong ideas and can point to a few major events#but obviously a fish cannot recognize its own water n rereading the entries lets me pick out assumptions and trends from outside the tank#花話
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hi suki! wanted to tell you this bc i have no one else to talk about it with ><
( you can answer this when the English chapter releases! i was able to read it because my friend bought the WSJ issue)
I was trying to udnerstand Naoy's character, so I was reding everything from CH138-151 again. I'm kinda sad at how people just calls Naoya a Toji fanboy (though true LMAO) and not realizing how Toji really influenced his persona. Like the admiration Naoya held for Toji is so deeply engraved in him that he, who was called a genius sorcerer as a child, looks up to a man who was called a failure. Toji is probably the only man in the clan that he respected, that's why toji's level of strength became his "picture" to follow. And I think a lot of who Naoya has become is because the Zen'ins literally groomed the decency out of him. Still, though groomed to be everything he is, he himself chose not to change anything about it.
(wait but also?? little naoya looks cute like he would guide old ladies on the ped xing so what the fuck happened after that)
I guess one major reason why he does not respect anyone else in the clan (besides his superiority complex) is because of the Zen'in's concept of what is marked as strong. Like, the way they see and treated him as if he's the best sorcerer in the making, yet failing to see Toji's powers and rejecting him fully. It's something similar to Mai when she said "Maki has talent that I don't. And the clan rejected that; that talent that I lacked", except Naoya is raised to be a confident (arrogant?) child, thus he takes it as a challenge instead and works to achieve it.
So, when Maki reached the level of Toji, I think his reaction wasn't simply stemmed on his "fanboy" antics, but his desperation of being part of that level of strength. I think he's more irritated in the fact that Maki, someone who he does not see anywhere near as strong as he is (though he does say Maki is strong in chapter 138), reached a level of strength that he hasn't; that he is trying hard to achieve. It's also the same with having your favorite superhero getting defeated. And Naoya's in denial that there is someone else who could be the same as Toji.
I like how he's an antagonist that was not build under the foundation of a sob backstory (though it was a v small sneak peak of his background and was mainly centered with his admiration for toji, plus I think people forget that Naoya is an antagonist), how he acknowledges that he has not reached that level of strength. Of course, I'm angsty about his misogynistic ideals. I get that he's from a very traditionalist clan so... yeah. I mean, no child is born evil. Children learn from those around them (I've seen many people say he's trash since he was a kid when he said that "i wonder what miserable face he has", but like he's a kid, he doesn't know what he's saying AHSJFJWJQ8QR he was either taught that or he just learned it from others. Funnily enough, he does say toji has a pretty face now LMAO). Maybe it stems from something else, maybe it didn't.
I'm not saying him trying to kill Megumi is forgotten (Though, the Jujutsu Society is a place where teens get executed for the simple fact that they are too strong, so im not surprised. Just like Noritoshi said, age does not matter in Jujutsu Society). I see now why he was really pissed about Megumi being the head, since Naoya has been promised the position since he was young, only to loose of a 15 year old who is the son of the man he admires :')) However, still, none of it excuses the shit he did. He still has a shitty personality, but it's nice to know a bit of a background.
Anyway, that's all for now. My English is bad so that might be all over the place •`,`• That's just my take on it so I could be wrong or maybe seeing him wrong since we still don't know much abt him. I'm always scared to talk about naoya because the last time i did (on twt) i got a backlash of hate (ppl really do get hate just from admiring someone's characterization). Your blog is like a safe haven for naoya stans, so i thank you for that hehe.
Have a nice day suki!! kisses~
(also this is a PSPSPSPS to a naoya childhood friends au fic pls 👁👁)
bestie omg I am so sorry, I found this deep in my inbox and I am *shakes* and yes yes let’s talk about naoya, I would be more than glad to and I’m sorry I didn’t see this any sooner!! more rants and simping under the cut
I'm kinda sad at how people just calls Naoya a Toji fanboy (though true LMAO) and not realizing how Toji really influenced his persona. Like the admiration Naoya held for Toji is so deeply engraved in him that he, who was called a genius sorcerer as a child, looks up to a man who was called a failure. Toji is probably the only man in the clan that he respected, that's why toji's level of strength became his "picture" to follow. And I think a lot of who Naoya has become is because the Zen'ins literally groomed the decency out of him. Still, though groomed to be everything he is, he himself chose not to change anything about it.
omg for this…I’m actually like…like I love the detail that naoya admires toji? as we can see from the panel of little naoya, it’s like people have already planted in his head that no cursed energy = loser, yet he ended up admiring him and I am,,,my heart is just soft! exactly! just think of naoya born as a genius sorcerer yet his admiration for toji, who is painted as the clan’s failure, helped shape him into who he is! idk but I just really love the fact that naoya, who is like born with the pressure and role of being clan leader, somewhat strays from tradition and ends up finding strength into toji and even strives to follow him or “stand by him” someday. for me, it just shows that perhaps naoya isn’t really half as bad as he should be in an honest sense, meaning that he’s evil or morally corrupt because he was born that way or because he chose to be that way. I do agree that perhaps he is the way he is now because he’s groomed to be like that, but of course, I’m not going to disregard the fact that somewhere along the way, Naoya could’ve matured to choose himself to not embody the misogynistic tradition of the zen’in clan.
This could just be me, but my interpretation of it is that Naoya seems more like the perfect product or embodiment of how the clan shaped him to be, blinded him with false morals and the patriarchy presiding into them. Rather than Naoya being just “a misogynistic arrogant man” in my perspective and my opinion, I see him more into the bigger picture of his toxic upbringing to begin with. Like, no child is born evil unless there’s like a predetermined curse deciding their fate for them, so its partly the Zen’in clan’s fault he’s that way. But Gege showing that Naoya admiring someone the Zen’in clan disregarded, it shows that he is capable of being himself without the clause of his clan enforcing things to him once again, like the whole “he’s gonna be the future clan leader” thing, though that is still heavily embedded within him.
(wait but also?? little naoya looks cute like he would guide old ladies on the ped xing so what the fuck happened after that)
OMGGGG PLEASE THAT’S SO CUTE, HE LOOKED SO INNOCENT AND ADORABLE BUT EVEN AS A CHILD HE WAS ALREADY CALLING PEOPLE A LOSER LIKE EYE
I guess one major reason why he does not respect anyone else in the clan (besides his superiority complex) is because of the Zen'in's concept of what is marked as strong. Like, the way they see and treated him as if he's the best sorcerer in the making, yet failing to see Toji's powers and rejecting him fully. It's something similar to Mai when she said "Maki has talent that I don't. And the clan rejected that; that talent that I lacked",except Naoya is raised to be a confident (arrogant?) child, thus he takes it as a challenge instead and works to achieve it.
Anon, is it just me or like…was his superiority complex also enforced on him by the Zen’in clan as well? Again this could just be me going all psychologist mode on Naoya but the nature of superiority complex is quite interesting, you know! As a psych student, I perfectly understand that superiority complex either stems from several things like a) wanting to live up to one’s or others expectations, b) masking it with a deep stem of insecurity, or c) it’s a coping mechanism. See, I could go on and on about but then I’d have to link all my past studies lmao so let’s just put it on layman’s terms that my interpretation of Naoya’s superiority complex is once again, influenced by the clan. Imagine being a kid born into a clan where people remind you again and again that you’re the future leader, that you would be the one to guide them or protect them or discuss the clan’s future and status once you grow, and you’re quite groomed for it.
For such pressure to be put on a child’s shoulders, it kind of strips off his youth and instead of him enjoying his youth, I can imagine that it took a toll on little Naoya, and the reason he grew his superiority complex is his way to cope and reach the standards and expectations that is given to him. Of course, he’s a kid, he might start to wonder, “Can I even do all of that?” but seeing as the Zen’in clan highly measures strength and growth based on abilities, cursed energy, and overall just to conform into the image they’ve held for years, it’s quite obvious that Naoya can’t exactly voice out his worries over this, so instead, he masks it with a superiority complex that absolutely boosts him to a higher level, thus giving him the confidence he needed to carry out his tasks and the reassurance that, “Yes, I am worthy and I will be the clan leader.” As for your theory that he takes it as a challenge, I can see where you’re coming from! I think Naoya is the type of person who definitely likes to challenge himself, but one of the reasons I love his character so much is because he’s not completely a brainless “head on straight to war” type of person too.
He knows his limits and knows which side he should be in, as showed when Yuuta came and mans surrendered easily. Idk why but to me, Naoya, who is such an arrogant confident man who has high trust in abilities, but at the same time can admit when someone is stronger than him (like him admiring Toji and Gojo) just makes him more human and a little more beautifully flawed. Like, he’s not perfect and he’s most definitely an irritating character, but the way he was written is just *chef’s kiss*
So, when Maki reached the level of Toji, I think his reaction wasn't simply stemmed on his "fanboy" antics, but his desperation of being part of that level of strength. I think he's more irritated in the fact that Maki, someone who he does not see anywhere near as strong as he is (though he does say Maki is strong in chapter 138), reached a level of strength that he hasn't; that he is trying hard to achieve. It's also the same with having your favorite superhero getting defeated. And Naoya's in denial that there is someone else who could be the same as Toji.
Yes, ah I really do love this theory that he’s more irritated because in his mind, he’s like, “I’m a genius sorcerer! I was meant to be clan leader! This is my rightful spot to be a strong one, so how come Maki, who is a woman, with no zero cursed energy has reached the level of the person I looked up most to?” again, Naoya didn’t say that and those are just my opinions and brainrot so don’t come at me for it uwu, but yeah I do think that he’s very aggravated that he didn’t react that level first. Because I guess you could say, he’s probably alluding that Maki reaching Toji’s strength = them being equals, and ofc Naoya wanted to be the one standing beside them. It probably hit his superiority complex that he wasn’t the one in Maki’s spot especially when he tried so hard to achieve it, and considering the gifts he was given (same cursed technique as his dad and him having cursed energy) it threw him off.
Yeah, Naoya is most likely in denial and becomes aggressive over it, although I don’t really mean physically aggressive because Naoya is actually quite calm and ‘composed.’ If ever he did go on a rampage, he does it in such a suave, calculated manner with this silent confidence that he will win. It kind of makes you root for him because he even fools the audience (by audience I mean ME) that he’s going to OWN that fight but whoop, he got his ass kicked. Plus ten points for confidence and a bonus thousand points for being sexy though!!! Yeah, omg he’s probably in disbelief that a woman of all people could be like the person he admired most.
I like how he's an antagonist that was not build under the foundation of a sob backstory (though it was a v small sneak peak of his background and was mainly centered with his admiration for toji, plus I think people forget that Naoya is an antagonist), how he acknowledges that he has not reached that level of strength. Of course, I'm angsty about his misogynistic ideals. I get that he's from a very traditionalist clan so... yeah. I mean, no child is born evil. Children learn from those around them (I've seen many people say he's trash since he was a kid when he said that "i wonder what miserable face he has", but like he's a kid, he doesn't know what he's saying AHSJFJWJQ8QR he was either taught that or he just learned it from others. Funnily enough, he does say toji has a pretty face now LMAO). Maybe it stems from something else, maybe it didn't.
OMG YESSSS ANON YES YES YES *slams down simping button angrily* That’s what I like about him too! Even though Naoya is cocky and wayyyy too arrogant for his own good, I also like that he acknowledges he’s not quite in a level he wants to be in yet. And hah, his backstory, it wasn’t totally sob because it’s obvious he was much too doted on, but I still hate how they made him like that. True, if he’s still carrying the same misogynistic ideals as he is now in an age where he has the mental capacity to improve and be different, then the belief has become more of a choice than something engraved into him, which I am really disappointed and not really into because of course, he’d be much better if he wasn’t like that in the first place. LOLOLOLOL yes yes he’s a kid, it sure as hell doesn’t excuse the way he is now but like just think !!
if a kid was spouting out such mean words and CLEARLY no one is correcting him, who really is the problem here? A child has a harder time deciphering what is right and wrong by himself without proper guidance. And he didn’t have proper guidance, they really just let him be like that and it’s because the clan!! sucks !! ass !! YEAH he probably called toji with a miserable face because he hasn’t seen him before but after seeing the iconic dilf, Naoya gone be like, “anyways, I lied, moving on—”
I'm not saying him trying to kill Megumi is forgotten (Though, the Jujutsu Society isa place where teens get executed for the simple fact that they are too strong, so im not surprised. Just like Noritoshi said, age does not matter in Jujutsu Society). I see now why he was really pissed about Megumi being the head, since Naoya has been promised the position since he was young, only to loose of a 15 year old who is the son of the man he admires :')) However, still, none of it excuses the shit he did. He still has a shitty personality, but it's nice to know a bit of a background.
yeah no of course, no worries! even as a hardcore naoya stan, I can admit this dude is TERRIBLE for so many reasons! yeah I mean that could be pretty irritating because he was born for it, raised to be clan leader, groomed and expected he’d have that role, but nah someone else took his throne. yeah I’m with you on that, naoya has a shitty personality and I would totally smack him if he was real because he makes my eyes roll to the back of my head, but knowing his background and theorizing (read: me going all psychologist mode because he’s the only character I ever cared about to apply my studies into) his character is quite fun. I wish we had more scenes with Naoya though, I really hoped he’d play a bigger role but he just…died, I guess, though I’m starting to believe that maybe he really isn’t dead! Gege did him dirty omg I’ll cry again if it’s really GENUINELY confirmed my baby is gone.
Anyway, that's all for now. My English is bad so that might be all over the place •`,`• That's just my take on it so I could be wrong or maybe seeing him wrong since we still don't know much abt him. I'm always scared to talk about naoya because the last time i did (on twt) i got a backlash of hate (ppl really do get hate just from admiring someone's characterization). Your blog is like a safe haven for naoya stans, so i thank you for that hehe.
ah no worries about your English, I didn’t really notice anything wrong with it tbh! And I understand, these are all just our opinions/theories/perspectives, we could be wrong or not, we don’t really know because we’re not Gege (⋟﹏⋞) NOOOO PEOPLE HATED YOU ON THAT? ISTG I’VE NEVER SEEN A FANDOM CANCEL SOMEONE AS MUCH AS JJK FANDOM CANCELS NAOYA AND NAOYA STANS LIKE – he’s just a fictional character omg, cancelling naoya is understandable because I would too but attacking his fans? or generally anyone who talks about him in a neutral or not in a way that goes, “yeah I would punch this mfer” is just?? doesn’t make sense to me bestie, people really choose to do that with their time yikes.
AND AWWW THANK YOU YES I PROTECT ALL MY FELLOW NAOYA STANS HERE, I respect who people simp for because if it’s what you enjoy and as long as you’re not hurting anybody, then it really doesn’t matter and it’s not a big deal! and you’re always welcome here uwu. have an even nicer day bestie and I’m sorry I didn’t see this sooner AAAA I really loved talking about this tho HEHEHEH I’m not actually too much of a JJK theorist since I’m not smart enough to pay attention or infer from all the details but NAOYA HMMMMM also childhood friends fic? hmu let’s hear it!! also ahh hmm idk but i get really happy whenever people talk to me freely about naoya bcos even tho i have been a naoya simp for like three months, it was not until recently that people came to me about him and i have just been simping alone (bcos people MADDDD) spsppsps okay rant over thank you anon i love you kith kith <3
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Blind Date. //Choi Beomgyu//
💝Angst and fluff💝
💝enemies to lovers💝
When the realization hit, that you were the only one amongst your friends who was gonna be alone on Valentine's day, you couldn't help but whine. The whining was what led to your two friends making an arrangement for you. Since the two of them were going to do on a double date, asking their boyfriends to get their single friend would be a good idea, right?? WRONG! The single friend turned out to be none other than the guy you hated , Choi Beomgyu.
You two looked at each other with blank expressions. "Talk to each other. Don't be shy," said your friend to the two of you. You were quick to come to the conclusion that him leaving the restaurant would be embarrassing for you. So, you decided that you wanted to be the one to leave. Except, the two of you were trapped, with a wall on one side and friends on the other. "Actually, I think I have to," you started to say. "Don't be that shy. Come on."
You just sighed as you turned straight ahead. How you wished he wouldn't be busy on his phone when you sat in! You would have turned around and walked away. But here you were, facing the smirking boy. "So, you are my Valentine, today?," he asked. You just gave him a small smile. "Unfortunately." "I think you should be glad," he said to you. You rolled your eyes. The other four on the table got busy in their own conversations leaving the two of you to talk. You picked up your phone and started scrolling through instagram when you felt a kick on your leg.
You looked up at Beomgyu with wide eyes. "Talk to me, Valentine." "I don't have anything to say," you said to him. "Then listen to me talk," he said. You couldn't understand why he was trying to even converse with you. The two of you had always been on each other's cases for the longest time. Being neighbours, it was natural for you two to want to be friends. Atleast you wanted to be. But everytime you tried, you would end up regretting it. He would either end up ignoring you, teasing you or mocking something you'd say. It made you feel bad everytime.
"I was watching this Disney movie the other day. It's called Inside Out. Have you heard about it?," he asked you. It was weird seeing him try to converse with you. "Yes." "Did you like it?" "Yes." You two looked at each other with blank expressions. He clicked his tongue. "I am trying to talk to you. Why don't you just talk to me? Do you have to have an attitude?" As his tone changed a little, the other four people turned to look at you two. You scoffed. "I am the one with attitude? You really think that?" "Y/N. Don't fight," said your friend sitting right beside you. "Oh. Shut up," you told her before turning to Beomgyu. "Why do you expect me to be nice to you?," you asked him.
"Why not?," he asked, sounding surprised. "I am being nice to you. Can't you be nice to me?" You narrowed your eyes at him. "You've always been so rude to me. Why are you even trying to be nice now?" "Hey! I've never been rude!" You rolled your eyes at the obvious lie he was telling to defend himself. "You've always been rude. Don't lie." "When?" "From the time I first approached you." "We were kids back then," he retorted. "Even after that," you told him. "Remember when we were in the same group as kids. You always called me a loser and each time you were paired with me. Even if I was good at that sport, you just ended up ruining every evening of my life. When you transferred to the same middle school as me, I offered to help you out and then entire time you were acting like I was talking to myself. You literally went to other people for help. Do you know how shitty I felt? Like, even in a school where you didn't know anyone else, you wouldn't to talk to a loser like me. Then, what was worst was you managed to steal my friends too. As if, that was your plan along. What did you do for that to happen? Did you tell them about how much of a loser I was? Do you realize that the reason why I struggle to make friends is you? You are the reason I hated myself."
Beomgyu just looked at you with his mouth slightly open. As everyone on the table turned to look at him, he stuttered. "I didn't mean it. I'm sorry." You rolled your eyes at him. You could feel your throat get pokey. The last thing you wanted to do was cry before him. So you decided it was best to leave. Your turned to your friends. "I just don't want another bad day because of him. So stop making a big deal about me leaving. Move out now." The two of them got out, giving you space to move.
It was when you were a few steps away from the restaurant, Beomgyu caught up with you. "Y/N, wait." He stopped in front of you. "I don't want to talk to you," you said before stepping aside and continuing to walk ahead. Beomgyu stood in front of you, to block your way, again. "Listen to me. Please. Just this once." You folded your arms, a little curious to know what he would even say. Perhaps, he'd blurt out a childish apology for you to mock. "I used to whine whenever I was paired with you to hide the fact that I liked you." You noticed how his fingers fidgeted with the sleeves of his sweatshirt. "I didn't realize that it would hurt your feelings. I was a child back then. Also in middle school, I was intimidated by you. You sounded so perfect while showing me around. You are beautiful too. It's easy to get intimidated by you." You tried your best to not smile at the fact that he had just called you beautiful. "I asked others for help because I have a short attention span. I forget things easily. That's how I am." As you heard him sound apologetic for being forgetful, you felt bad. You didn't mean to make him feel like he was flawed. "I didn't mean to make you feel about that. Sorry," you said softly. "See. We don't always mean things. So, I think we should start over again," he said to you. His lips curved into a smile as he hoped that would make you give in. "Alright." "Alright?" "Yes, alright."
Beomgyu felt happy after watching you smile. Your smile, to him, was adorable. After getting to see that beautiful smile, he'd only want to make you smile more often. "So, Y/N, I say we ditch the other four people and go on a date of our own," he said to you. "Date?" Beomgyu shrugged. "You're still my Valentine, right?," he said with a small pout. You playfully rolled your eyes. "Fine. Fine. There's a café down the street," you said to him. As the two of you started walking, another question popped in your head. "Why did you steal my friends in middle school?" "They were two faced bitches. I just told them to stay away from you." You were a little surprised at his use of the curse word but more surprised about what he had done for you. As you looked over at his pretty face a smile grew on your face. "So you weren't as bad as I thought after all."
‹•.•›
Here's my masterlist.
#txt#soobin#yeonjun#kang taehyun#beomgyu#hueningkai#txt fluff#txt angst#txt imagines#txt x reader#choi beomgyu#beomgyu imagines#kpop imagines#kpop scenarios#kpop
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