#also i don't have patience for people who think louis is in control of this

[cloudslou]

ok so, rant:

it's about louis and how some fans like to believe they're entitled to know and have opinions about everything in his life. i've read some stuff from certain accs here (it's kinda funny how it's always the same people that say this shit that makes me roll my eyes so hard....and i don't even follow them but they always seem to make their way into my tl 🙄) ANYWAY, as i was saying, some people seem to have gotten too comfortable with commenting on EVERYTHING louis does and it's so. wtf. like for example "oh louis doesn't like this and louis likes this drink and he doesn't like this food and he does this with his friends and that with his band and tbh i find x thing louis does so annoying" and i'm like. who the FUCK cares what you think??????? we're not his friends!!!!!!!!!! we don't get to have a say in how he behaves around people close to him or get to decide what he likes or dislikes. for fucks sake!!!!!!!!!!! draw the fucking line between being a fan and straight up thinking you're besties with him!!!!!!!!

i know, us fans have a pretty close relationship with him and he's said that multiple times and that's nice and i love how much he likes to involve us in his art but THAT'S IT. in his ART. not his personal life, not what he does with his friends, not in how he chooses to present himself to the public. at the end of the day, he's still a stranger and so are we and he is not our friend and we are not his. jokes and teasing and stuff is fine as we've seen on twitter interactions and on tour and that's super nice. thinking you have the right to say i don't like this i don't like that when it's literally none of your business and doesn't affect you in the slightest is just.....i don't wanna say harsh words. just, it's okay to be humble and know our place i guess.

oh and a while ago i think you made a post about lads? something? something referring to certain fans here and i think i get it. i get it

also people are being so fucking weird now that he broke his arm and i'm like.....you're so weird....................sigh. it's hard trying not to be a hater 🙄

thank you for the time and your patience again and for being willing to listen to me being annoying 😭

love how u mention it’s always the same people saying shit cus uhh… it really is. i don’t even have to look to take a bet who is saying shit. i think i’ve gotten good at keeping certain ppl off my dash but some things slip thru the cracks, always.

but i agree ppl get verrrryyy comfortable talking abt louis and i try to be understanding, that my boundaries on what i talk/post about are not everyone’s boundaries and they don’t have to be, but that doesn’t mean it doesn’t drive me up the wall sometimes (esp anything involving food, exercise, health, etc and especially not just Judgments about those things, but desires to Control those things)

always feel free 2 be a hater here. we support healthy hating. :DDDD

[dearly]

Ok I agree with your points to that anon, but you can’t look at the others and compare them to Louis when they seem to be different artists. Louis seems to prioritize perfecting his album in lieu of being public whereas Niam, especially liam like to go overboard with promo. Liam also has had 2 songs out since the beginning of the year so he has more incentive to do performances whereas Louis only had MY that his label and him seemed to scrap in place of getting the album done. Also 1)

Zayn was in the middle of a promo rollout when he was dropped/left his management team. It does happen and if I remember correctly Louis actually switched labels a week or two before Back To You was released. We’re also going off of an unknown album date so for all we know the album could be dropping end of the year/next year and the rollout might start later this year. Idk just wanted to add a second opinion. 2)-end

i don’t even know where to start with this. like i said people can be as optimistic as they want, but i don’t need your second opinion when it has no basis in what we’re seeing. you people think i’m drawing conclusions based on nothing? i’m drawing conclusions based on past events. and you seem to have a completely different idea of how this shit works, putting a whole lot of decision making at louis’ feet. 

“they seem to be different artists” as in… louis is the kind of artists who doesn’t need promo? doesn’t need brand building? literally what are you even talking about? even indie artists get promo. here’s a story: last year i had peak solo louis optimism. because of his connection with high snobiety and noisey i figured OK–they are going the “indie” route. i adjusted my expectations in my head, no jingle ball and big radio bashes in sight, and i figured then he’d be doing lots of festivals this year–not radio ones, but stuff like governor’s ball, lolla, osheaga etc. the stuff that appeals to that crowd. maybe he’d be talked up to stereogum which is the arbiter of indie taste. he could do kexp live lounge etc. what did we get? nothing. and as someone who does frequent lots of indie sites let me tell you he’s not even on their radar, and if he is it’s not in a positive light.

liam has had two more songs out… is the exact point. he’s getting to release his music. and i don’t know how you’re just brushing aside the fact that MY was completely abandoned? that’s not normal. you don’t scrap a single in order to get the album done? additionally you’re forgetting that niall promoed TT for months. he then promoed SH for months and did festivals with just TT and SH under his belt. there’s absolutely not logical reason for louis to be out of the spotlight. and you seem to think louis…. decided to stop promoting MY? like i’m sorry but you’re putting so much onus on him in all of this when he’s not the one pulling the strings. they spent so much energy promoting its debut on TXF only to drop it immediately – almost like it was only TXF promo. 

i didn’t say that no artists change teams mid-rollout, i said it’s a bad sign. and how well have things worked out for zayn exactly? how much promo is he doing? right. management contracts are quite rigid and are typically on year terms, which means louis dropped them because he didn’t want to renew for another year or two because he knows how shit they’ve been (which should indicate that he is in fact not happy with how his career has been handled so far, which punches a hole in your theory that he’s just a ‘different artist’ who doesn’t want to ‘overboard’). i am very cautiously optimistic about what a new management might entail. but as i’ve said, we’ve been burned before. really, really badly. so no, i’m not going to sit here and say everything is now under control when we’ve literally not seen any indication that things have changed for the better just yet. 

as for unknown dates–louis said the album was coming in the first half of the year. that’s by the end of june. i really fucking hope that’s not when the album is actually coming because the lack of lead up is criminal and will be used to push the idea that he’s a failure. and to clarify– i don’t think he is one. i think he has the potential to do so much. but that’s not how he’s being treated or reported on. 

and no, he didn’t change labels. he was reported as being distributed by RCA in the US, that was corrected to say he was actually with epic. they are both sony subsidiaries. i believe epic is the smaller of the two labels, so if you wanna be really pessimistic i’d say sony told RCA “here you go” and they were like, “nah” so they had to shuffle him over to epic who has shown zero interest in supporting him. it’s been a nonstop waiting game. epic prioritized camila we said, “okay maybe once her album is out they’re going to give louis some focus.” didn’t happen. we won him the best solo breakout award over her, hoping that would jolt them into paying some attention to him, didn’t happen. now they’re putting all their juice in meghan trainor. syco are too busy praising harry to even know a louis and also promoting their new boyband that’s supposed to replace 1d. they don’t care about him.

considering everything that’s going on i don’t think i or anyone else can be blamed for being worried. the only thing that will reassure me is an actual change in direction and promo. not your rose coloured interpretation of events.the reality is what mika has said, and what i’ve been saying from the start: “Am I going to be in the top seven global priorities at my record company? Because if you’re not, you have to face up to that – and find other ways to get what you need to promote your career.” louis is not one of the priorities at his label. he isn’t. and maybe, hopefully his new management will help him to stay relevant and accomplish something in spite of syco/epic and can secure him a deal with a label that will prioritize him later. but we don’t know that that’s going to happen. and i don’t do blind faith or blind trust anymore. i’m still completely devastated about how wrong i was about so many things. i still cry when i think about how different i thought this “hiatus” was going to turn out. i cannot afford to be optimistic again and be crushed again. 

so please. go be optimistic somewhere else. i’m waiting for concrete proof that things have changed.

[canynmo0n]

Hello tumblr! This is my first post and I made this account specially so I can rant about the pr stunt. I have been wanting to make this account for so long because girlll, its not easy to study pr and then not be able to rant about wrongdoings of the industry and sometimes stupidity of fans. Uff! Anyway….

Okay so, I hate when people are like management "made" them do something. Like honey, no! Management cannot 'make' them do something, not now that they are all grown up. They are big boys. They know how to fight those mfs. They have so.much more power and say over what that do and indulge in. Yes, mgmt still very much has control over them but they cannot make two very smart, grown adults, do something that they don't want to do. Our faves know what they are doing and what's beneficial for them and their fans. And its never a one sided thing. Any pr stunts and such I mean. Louis and harry has to agree to them as much as the other person.

Do I hate olivia with all of my guts? Yes. Is she a disgusting human being? Yes! Am I absolutely over the stunt and want it to be over? A big YES! But do I still think saying that its wrong to always blame that lady wholly? (well if I could I would not be opposed to blaming her for all my life problems lol but…) Yes! Because harry too have consented to the stunt. I know olivia is getting so much more out of this but harry is not an idiot and we dk the contracts. We dk what the pact from harry's side was. Also why are we giving that cheek kiss so much attention? Harry was the one who kissed her cheek. And lovely, if we are pissed with a cheek kiss this much… We are not ready for whats to come. Something massive is happening this week or the next and its gonna break half of us. Its truly devastating. Harry had to make some hard decisions.

We need to stay strong because someone is trying to bring our morale down. We just need to have patience and stick to our believes. Just trust their love.

[wendystales]

Memories - lrh (Chapter Twelve)

Memories (also on Wattpad)

Chapter Eleven ※※※※※ Chapter Thirteen

I approach my boyfriend seeing him completely tense. The long, callused fingers from the guitar strings tightening in distress. His eyes didn't know where to look, staring into the spotlight like they were monsters from his childhood.

The thick brown coat was a few sizes too big for him, but he's still beautiful all the same. On the eyelids, a black eye shadow ending with a pink tip gave it a charm. The lip balm seemed to bring out the color of his lips, making me restless to kiss him.

“I don't know if it was a good idea.” Luke, let out all the air as I wrap my arms around his neck.

“It was a great idea! You look awesome.” I bite my lip, controlling the urge to take him into a room and do various indecent things. “Just relax and enjoy. As in a play.” I advise him, trying to calm him down."

Ever since the invitation for him to be the face of this perfume had arrived, I was bursting with pride and anticipation to see him doing his photo shoot, following something completely different from the band.

"Don't you think it's too exaggerated?" he asks, unsure of the look. I hold his face in my hands, touching our foreheads. I allow myself to drown in his blue eyes.

“You look handsome.” I say slowly, so he can record my words well. “Now, let's get this quick, because seeing you like this is making me very excited and I don't know how long I can take it.” I sigh, uneasy. Hemmo gives a nice laugh. Glad to see him more relaxed.

Watch out when the photographer yells for them to start. I give my boyfriend a little kiss, ready to pull away, but Luke holds me in his arms still.

“I love you!” he whispers, like a secret.

“I love you!” I give him a little kiss on the tip of his nose. "Anything just scream, I'll be right there." I blink at him.

I take a few steps back, not taking my eyes off his. So as not to bump into anything and make a mess of his work, I turn around, running behind the spotlights and flashbulbs.

I watched the photo shoot totally proud and delighted. Little by little Luke was loosening up and having fun. I don't wipe the smile off my lips, so every time he looks at me, he smiles more.

Nearly three hours later, my excitement was already making me irritated that photo shoot wasn't over and I feel like I lost all control when in the last costume, where Luke rips the white blouse. I hold my breath, staring at the ceiling, wondering how I'm going to make it home and calculating which is closest.

~.~.~.~.~

We left the elevator hand in hand and in hurried steps, we weren't running, but whoever passed us realized we were in a hurry. I squeeze his hand seeing the door with the number 609.

"Thank God." I comment euphoric as Luke opens the door.

He walks in and pulls me to his chest. His hand tangles in the hairs on the back of my neck, enveloping us in a desperate kiss. Urgently, I open the buttons on his shirt, feeling his other hand find my ass, squeezing hard.

I force the fabric to slide down his arms, enjoying the texture of his warm skin. The tequila flavor still inhabits our mouths, which makes the kiss better, plus the soft touch of his lips pressed against mine.

I roll my eyes as his beard scrapes my neck, along with his hot mouth, giving me goose bumps.

“The door.” I say with difficulty, noticing it ajar.

Together, we staggered back a few steps, closing it. Without much patience and with a lot of desire, we ended up staying there. Hemmings presses me against the wood, pulling me into his lap. I scratch the back of his neck when I feel his erection against me, releasing the electricity that seems to rush through my body.

It was amazing how seeing him on stage, with those tight pants and silk shirts moving me. Honestly, he can wear anything, and at the end of the day I'll be falling for him. Not to mention the eyes full of glitter. He had me in the palm of his hands like that. So beautiful. So magnificent.

Luke always knew this look messed with my hormones and destroyed my self-control, and in the end it always ended up like that, having sex, because I couldn't help myself.

Of course, the drink has a big weight in this, but I'm not going to take our blame for this story, after all, we teased each other from the moment we stepped into that dressing room.

The desperation and excitement is such that we reach our first orgasm right there, against the door. No foreplay, no undressing completely, and not caring if anyone passing in the hallway heard anything.

It was something far above lust or desire. Despair to feel our skins against each other. Taste and touch. That feeling of feeling incredible, loved, wanted, as if the only chance to stay alive was there inside of us.

I wake up in a jump. My heart pounded, causing pain. My body seemed to boil, prompting me to kick the covers off quickly. The fresh memory of the dream causes shivers. The way I felt his touch, all those sensations and reactions my body gave.

I lie down on the bed again, wanting to calm down and not think too much about the dream, or what else seemed like, memories. I don't know how to handle it, these are the first sexual memories I have with him. My God, how am I going to look at Luke now?

I pick up my phone, which poin just over an hour earlier than I planned to wake up. Since I know I won't be able to get back to sleep anymore, so I start getting ready for today's meeting.

I decide to have breakfast first and once again review my past contract to get a sense of what will be discussed. Between one paragraph and another, I browse my social networks seeing what's going on.

Without being impressed anymore, I watch a little video or two that some fans make about Hemmo and me. Slightly, I melt at the way we look and smile at each other.

I go back to my room, and head for a shower. I hope that water takes those memories from earlier today down the drain, but the steam seems to open more fields in my brain.

I close my eyes, feeling various parts of my body tingle, as if he's there, touching me, holding me. My breath heaves and my belly tightens. What the fuck is going on?

Cheating on me yet again, my brain presents me with the two of us on the floor of that hotel room. In my kitchen. In the car. In some bathroom. Some of the countless times we'd lost ourselves in each other's arms.

The many times I ran my hands over his chest, drawing a new path, as I thought in that hospital hall. The times his mouth wandered over my body, his hands took me with such force and conviction.

The phone ringtone brings me back to reality. I turn off the alarm and hurry my shower. With Noah's guidance, I change into something comfortable and a bucket hat Calum gave me to hide my pink hair.

After a few hours, I find myself analyzing a huge photo of myself at the Hastings agency reception. With Noah, I follow a huge hallway to a conference room, where Mr. Hastings and a lawyer would be waiting for us. The twin next to me has a hard face, which is weird since Noah is always so excited and smiling.

“Marnie, dear! Long time no see! How have you been? Did you receive my basket?” Mr. Hastings question me without waiting for me to walk right into the room.

“Hi! I'm great and yes, I loved the basket, it was very kind.” I squeeze his hand, not knowing quite what to do.

“Hello son!” it's not exactly a warm welcome, but I want to believe it's just because we're in a work environment, dealing with serious matters.

“Hi Dad. Can we start?” my friend guides me to a chair.

During the meeting, Mr. Hastings clarified some news of the new contract. Things like: salary increase, partnership with new brands and the whole process of publicizing the names that already worked with us.

“Closing here, you will go to the closet to take new measurements. These numbers will be sent to the brands that hired you and they will send you clothes for you to use on a daily basis. For example: if you go out with Leah for coffee, you must wear a Louis Vuitton coat, so the photos you take will publicize the coat and well, nowadays young people find everything and want everything you wear. You will get a scale of which brands to use, so it's easier for you.” Mr. Hastings explains by summarizing a contract sheet.

As for photo shoots, until my arm gets better and I can get rid of the cast, I'll be limited to rehearsals on jewelry, makeup, glasses and shoes. On my hair, if the contracting brand determines, I will have to wear a wig.

I keep mentally reading every line of that contract, wondering if I could handle it all. Well, you’ve handle it for the past two years, it shouldn't be that hard.

As determined, after the meeting, Noah walks me to the closet. A huge space where had several clothes and accessories, as in The Devil Wears Prada. My measurements are taken and I get annoyed when the guy who's putting the measuring tape around my waist grumbles that I've put on weight.

The bad thing about being a model is it, this constant imposition of a perfect body. Since the accident, I don't remember seeing anyone on Leah's foot for her to lose weight or keep her body. I always watched her nervous appetite, not caring if it would add to her number on the scale.

Okay that Leah's biotype was skinny and maybe that made things easier for her. But since I understand myself by people, I've always been short and broad hiped and never cared. And even if I erased a few years, I don't think I've changed much.

From the reflection in the mirror, Noah sinalized for me not to care what the guy says, but I think it's kind of difficult. It's not just him talking about my body, it seems like everyone on the internet has an opinion about my weight, especially some Luke fans.

Blocking in my mind, the offensive words that I always end up reading through social media. However, I keep watching my body in the mirror, wondering if it wouldn't be better to lose some weight.

Soon after having my measurements taken, Noah is called to a meeting with his father and a french businessman, leaving me alone. As I wait for the car to arrive, I consider what I can do on my last day off. Everyone is working and I don't want to disturb anyone.

Finally, I decide to go to my mom's office and have lunch with her. I go down at the door of a huge, mirrored building. At the front desk, I ask about her office, getting a badge before I go upstairs.

The frosted glass door holds a huge space, which occupies one/quarter of the eighth floor. The various prints, fabrics, furniture and color palettes create a fun atmosphere, contrasting with the white walls of the place.

"Marnie! Hey!” a woman with curly hair, tied up in a purple turban, approaches with a huge smile.

“Hi.” I reply politely, but having no idea who she is.

“Oh, sorry.” she seems to notice. “I'm Dominique, your mother's partner.” I open a bigger smile, now informed. "Have you come to see her?" she guides me in the office inside.

“Oh yes, I came to have lunch with her.” Dominique smiles broadly and sympathetically.

"She's going to love the surprise. She's just finishing up with a customer. Want something while you wait?”

“Oh no, thanks!”

Dominique walks away, making it clear that anything was just asking, that I was home. I'm amazed at how things evolved for my mom, before she just had a small room away from the center and now she had all this space and staff.

I watch several people go from one place to another, making projects, budgeting, designing furniture and spaces. My mother's laugh brings me back just in time to see her in her office doorway, rosy cheeks, awkwardly in Mr. Marshall's company.

I open a smile finding the scene adorable. I look for Dominique, hoping she hasn't shut up in her office yet, as she might know something about the two of them. I find the brunette, leaning against the reception desk smiling like me.

"Marnie?" I turn quickly, finding Mr. Marshall next to me. “How have you been?” I hug him while my mother stands wide-eyed in the door.

He hadn't changed much. The face that was once smooth now had a very charming gray beard. The hair was still dark.

“I'm great, thanks. It's great to see you.” I keep my smile, finding it all wonderful, unlike my mother.

“I'm sorry about the accident. I would have send you something, but I didn't have your address and it was a little difficult to reach your mother.” he admits sympathetically. Have I told how much I like him?

“No problems. I’m grateful for your consideration and about you have found my mother again. Isn’t, mom?” her gaze at me turns withering. I'm screwed.

“Well, I'm also very happy to have found Debra again.”

I hold the 'awn' who insists on wanting to leave, when he smiles delightedly at my mother. Man, he's so into her.

“Hm, sorry to be rude, but taking advantage of our meeting, I want to invite you to a new restaurant location opening. It will be this Wednesday.”

“Oh, I'm honored. It will be a pleasure. Right, mom?” I watch my mother want to sink into the ground and disappear, and I can't help think how funny is it. "Do you mind if I invite my friends?"

“No! Of course not! Feel free.” he opens a gentle smile. His gaze flies to my mother and there they stare at each other for a few seconds. “Well, I have to go. Debra, thank you so much for the project, it's beautiful. Marnie, it was a pleasure to see you. Until Wednesday.” he hugs me again. With my mother, I notice them without knowing how to say goodbye.

I wait for Mr. Marshall to leave the office to let out the sigh caught in my throat, which my mother doesn't like.

“Stop this!” she slaps me on my back. I walk into her room laughing at the whole past situation.

“My God, you guys are so in love. Why don't you just assume it?” I ask, sitting in the chair across from her desk.

"Because there isn’t nothing to assume. It's a professional relationship.” she replies angrily, setting the table.

“Mom?” I call her, until she looks at me. I raise an eyebrow, emphasizing that I don't believe her.

Her shoulders slump, letting go of the tension. I watch her hide her face in hands after a sigh. Her eyes catch mine and a nasal laugh breaks the silence, then I see her there, shy and unsure, a small smile, which soon opens, reflecting all over her face.

"I don’t have age for this anymore. I mean…” she takes a bunch of flowers from behind the table. “Look at this.”

"Awn." I cover my face, not taking it. “Of course you have agr for this. If my father can find someone and be happy, then of course you can too. Mom, you're young and beautiful, and there's an amazing guy who's into you. He's clearly in love and apparently he's been doing everything he can to demonstrate, you should give him and… you a chance.” I finish in a whisper, touching myself that those words were good for me too.

I replay in my mind everything Luke has been doing, trying to win me back, and I'm glad that, somehow, I giving both of us a chance, even if it's a non date. I let out a laugh at the memory of the invitation, before letting my mind drift back to this morning's memories.

“I think you're right. Maybe on Wednesday, I can talk to him.” her red cheeks make me smile more.

“It's a great idea. How about we discuss this over lunch?” I suggest, listening to my belly come alive.

“Great idea.” she picks up the phone, dialing something.

Since I had nothing to do, I stay until early afternoon with my mother, gossiping about her crush on Mr. Marshall, about my relationship with Luke, about the meeting and our Wednesday night outfit.

Dominique joins us in a few moments, having fun with my passionate and nervous mom.

Around 3pm, Ashton calls, inviting me out for coffee, just him and me, like old times.

“Why can't I go? Do you not love me anymore?” I cover my mouth, stopping the laughter from coming out, when I hear Calum yell..

“Yeah! I can't take you anymore. How am I going to talk bad about you if you're there?” Ash replies.

"You are talking here. What does it matter to talk there? At least that way you buy me coffee.” Calum rebuts. While the couple argue, I listen to the fight, paying attention to the details of the ceiling.

"Are you still arguing? What the fuck is just coffee? Who is so important for all this? The pope?” I hear Luke arrive and realize he doesn't know I'm the guest.

“It's actually Marnie and from my experiences she's very important to some of the people here.” I don't need to see Ash's face to know he's making fun of Luke.

"Can I go?" I bite my lip, holding back the laugh.

“If you let him go and I don't, I'll never look you in the face again.” Calum gives the ultimatum.

“I don't know if you can hear me, but I'm still here and would like the DTR resolved if possible.” I say out loud, hoping it works.

“Sorry, Marnie. Five seconds.” Irwin asks. I think about making a joke with the band's name, but it's better to leave it alone.

"Is she listening?" Luke speaks in amazement. “Why do you…” then everything becomes too muffled and I can't hear.

“Enough! Nobody goes but me. I want to go out with my friend and I will. Marnie was right, I shouldn't have introduced you.” I hear Ash mumble, causing me to laugh. “Give me your address, I'll be there in a few minutes.”

We ended the call and I return to questioning my friendships. Why God? Why?

Sitting at a small table on the sidewalk, Ash and I discuss which coffee to drink. It wasn't very difficult to know that he loves coffee and understands a lot about the subject, which gives me complete confidence in letting him choose which one I should try.

When the cup reaches the table, I taste the drink under his hopeful, curious gaze. I open a smile, approving of my best friend's choice. I hi-five him, celebrating.

"It was the coffee you had the first time we went out together." he comments with a cute smile.

“Awn, Ash!” I can't stand the way they always remember everything. "So, ready to officially become older tomorrow?" I crack a smile, excited about our dinner tomorrow.

“No! I found a white hair this morning.” he grumbles, eliciting a laugh from me.

“I don’t see anything.” I comment, trying to cheer him up.

"I wasn’t talking about my top hair." he comments, drinking his coffee next.

"Ashton!" I reprimand him, covering my eyes, traumatized. “I don't want to think about it. I don't want to think about it.”

I hear his laugh, letting me laugh too. The problem with having intimacy is exactly that, your friends no longer filter out what to say to you.

“So why didn't you bring Cool Guy Cal?” I change the subject.

“Because I spend the whole day with them, I can't stand to look at those disgusting faces anymore.” I laugh, imagining what a mess that studio must be. "And how am I going to speak ill of him with him here?" I complete this last part with him, laughing. “Exactly.”

“And you have something bad to say?” Ash shakes his head.

“No! Cal is an amazing guy.” Boys… “But I wanted to spend time with my best friend. After the accident it was difficult to have time alone. How are you?” I shrug.

"Surviving. It's only been a month and it seems like, I don't know, six. There's still so much I'm discovering.” I look at my coffee thoughtfully as I twirl the spoon in it.

"Finding out what? Your feelings for Luke?” he mocks. I scold him softly, laughing. This is a sensitive subject. "So how was the kiss?" I spit half the hot drink back into the cup.

I look at my friend in full alert. I can't believe Luke told him. We had agreed to wait a while. Irwin kept his smile curious, waiting for my answer.

“I’m sorry…?” he raised his eyebrows and then it hit me. He played and I delivered. "Ashton!" I kick your shin.

“Ouch! You who kiss and I who get beaten?” he rubs his shin, confused.

“How did you find out?” My God, does everyone know already? "Have you told anyone?"

“No! I didn't say anything and I didn't even try it with Luke. But how do you think I wouldn't notice? I've known him for years. He comes down Sunday morning, all smiling, all silly, more than usual. Super in a good mood after a party like that. Hemmings never wakes up in a good mood.”

I take a sip of my coffee, wanting to hide my smile.

“And about you?! You're my best friend! It's easy to see what's going on. Even more after what I already followed the first time. So?” the australian asks curiously, causing me to laugh.

"It was just a kiss. I don't know, it was automatic, and I ended up giving him a little kiss, and he took advantage of the break and kissed me. And I left.” my cheeks heat up as I hold in the sassy smile.

“And what does that mean?” he drops into his chair. I shrug.

“I do not know. I like Luke's company. I really like! He makes me feel safe and so unique. He's fun and so silly.”

"That he is!" Ash comments in a whisper, making me laugh.

“And I like it all, but…” the words don't come out anymore.

“You are afraid.” he completes.

"What if he gets to know me better and he doesn't like this Marnie?" I dry swallow. Ashton grimaces thoughtfully, considering my question.

“Nah!” he shakes his head, dismissing the possibility. “Luke loves you, Marnie. And you know this.” He points a finger at me. I look down, embarrassed. “The only thing left is for you to understand and accept how you feel about him. Of course, in your time, no pressure.” he adds quickly.

My heart speeds up with the direction of the conversation. I organize in my mind all the events that happened between Luke and me. All your discreet and indiscreet advances. All his looks and smiles at me, his shy, goofy way.

On the other side, I put everything that we lived before the accident. Everything I saw and remembered. I stare at Ashton, slumped in his chair, waiting for my answer. I take a deep breath, nodding my head positively.

“I think I already know how I feel about him.”