#also i do not know your country of origin (apologies) but in case you're american:

[beaft]

i want to believe you are correct, but there's a whole bunch of websites and stores that don't even carry shoes in a women's size 9. buying men's shoes is less of a problem, but sometimes you just want to wear a funky colourful shoe with a little heel, you know?

I hate my stupid giant feet why is it so hard to find nice shoes that fit

[eros-agape-art]

Just a random passerby in the Vox tag so apologies if this isn't relevant to what you're doing - but just in case you didn't know, the Korean war took place in the 1950's so there's another alternative war you can pull from if you're trying to go for an American Vox with a military background. A show that does this background in an interesting way is Mad Men. The main character (who is of questionable morals/character) is Don Draper and he is a very successful ad man in the 1950's-1960's who fought in the Korean war. Due to its time period it could be of good inspiration... it's a great show.

Also, even though it was earlier in the 1940's many, many people fought in WW2. If you're creating a Vox background that is non-American then a lot of fighting actually began in the 1930's. I think a military background of some form for Vox makes a lot of sense (personally) just based on the time period he would have been alive/a man of enlistment age - I personally figure that he likely did some fighting but was ultimately recruited for higher-level work with his technology/propaganda-crafting skills (and if you want to talk war crimes/content creation that are so gross/racist it would undoubtedly eat your conscience and likely land you in Hell - the wars of this period are great sources... all countries did it too so there's a lot to explore regardless of where your Vox origin is).

Omg, I hadn't even thought of this, that sounds great! I'll definitely do some thinking and more research to see what fits best, thank you for the advice, I'll look into it further.

[alliterative-albatross]

So, I sent you (@disgruntledspacedad) a pretty long ask a while ago (back when you had anon on) and I'm decently sure Tumblr ate it (or maybe you ignored it, in which case, feel free to ignore this one as well). But then I saw one of those "writers appreciate feedback no matter how long" posts, so I'm back here. Here is my mediocre attempt to rewrite my original review of your work. Bear in mind that English is not my first language, so if at any point my phrasing sounds weird to you, you know why. Mandatory disclaimer/apology: this might get a little too long 😅

RULES OF ENGAGEMENT

I remember being SO mad at myself for not finding this sooner. I binge read it one afternoon with no thoughts for any real life responsibilities I might have had (and no regrets). Javiears is one hell of an unconventional relationship in the beginning, and I really love what you did with them. The whole premise of your story is quite refreshing, and you somehow manage to convey the trust and mutual respect there two feel for one another without explicitly showing us the beginning of their "entanglement".

Also, fuck you for what you did to poor Emilio, that man was a saint and he deserved better! I honestly can't believe that I got so attached to a character that appeared so little in the story, but it happened, and his death kind of broke my heart.

But the Javiears reunion + mild confession was lovely, and felt completely deserved. And of course the sex scene. I won't lie, I expected a bit better from Javi there, but I did like how utterly /human/ it was. Capturing that humanity, the imperfections in each character is something you're really good at (more on that later).

AFTERSHOCKS

Ah, my emotionally constipated babies who really need to work out their communication issues. I do love them, though. And this short series did a really good job of delving a bit deeper into Ears's and Javi's psyche. Kudos to you for dealing with the medical "aftershocks" of living through an explosion AND using that experience to move your emotional plot forward. These two need to grow a lot before they can get to a stable point in their relationship, and you really manage to convey their insecurity and fear of commitment/intimacy while making it clear that they're in it for the long run and that theirs is a relationship that WILL work out so help them God.

IF I FALL

Ouch. Punch me in the gut while you're at it, why don't you?

But seriously, "If I Fall" is SO FUCKING GOOD. Don't get me wrong, it's angstier than an image of Jesus on the cross (don't judge me, it's Holy Week and I just got home from accompanying my grandma to church), but it somehow works beautifully. You, my dear, play heartstrings like they're a fucking guitar and I AM HERE FOR IT.

You're doing an amazing job at making me feel everything these characters are feeling, which is both awful (bc pain) and impressive.

Also, if anything happens to Ana I will cry, because she is adorable and wonderful and has suffered way too much already and really deserves a break and some cookies.

Also also, if anything happens to Ears I will cry, because she is badass and wonderful and has suffered way too much already and really deserves a break and some cookies.

Also also also, if anything happens to Javi I will cry, because he is loving and wonderful and has suffered way too much already and really deserves a break and some cookies.

Basically, I am really invested in the well-being of these characters and can't wait until they're happy and safe again (please tell me they will be, my heart can't handle much more pain).

A quick note on the angst complaints: yes, this story is way angstier than most other fics out there and it can be a bit too much at times, especially considering how many chapters of pain it's been. BUT it's obvious that "If I Fall" NEEDS this amount of angst to get where it's going, to send the message it wants to and to properly develop its characters. The pain is as important to this story as flour is to bread. You may not like eating flour on its own (I don't think anyone does), but you love bread (because bread is amazing) and you must recognize that bread NEEDS flour to work. It wouldn't be bread otherwise. And eating the flour as part of the bread even makes you like the flour because the bread is just DELICIOUS.

I fully understand and sympathize with the people who have elected to table "If I Fall" until it's completed so they can binge read it knowing there's a happy ending in sight, but in case you're feeling a bit self conscious about all the angst, please know that your story is beautiful not in spite of the pain, but rather /because of it/.

PS: No, I'm not high/drunk, I just really like bread

AUTHOR'S NOTES

Silly thing to comment on, I know, but I do feel like it's important that you know how useful your ANs have been. There are many details in the story that I simply wouldn't fully get without reading your comments at the end of each chapter, and I appreciate your writing a hell of a lot more knowing how deeply you understand and care for each one of your characters. Plus, it is obvious how much work you've put into researching a country and a time period that are (from what I gather) unfamiliar to you, and I really do believe you've done an amazing job of it.

JAVIER PEÑA

My boy. I love your characterization of this complicated character, and I have eagerly read each and every one of your headcanons about him. I can't really say if your version is fully faithful to the source material because it's been a while since I saw Narcos, but your Javi most definitely reads like a real person. He's fairly consistent as a character, and I feel like everything he does is perfectly natural for him to do as a character. He makes for an unconventional yet deeply interesting romantic lead, and so far I have thoroughly enjoyed all his POV chapters/scenes.

OCs

I know you've gotten some flack for making her into an OC halfway into the story, and while I get why the sudden change may have felt like a disappointment for some, I don't share that sentiment. I firmly believe that this fandom is unfairly harsh towards Original Characters and their creators, and I don't really understand why. Listen, I love Reader fics, and consume many Reader fics. I have read dozens, maybe even hundreds, and I can safely say that I've only ever "inserted" myself in approximately 10% of those stories. Reader characters are not as blank as their writers may want them to be. They can't be. They're characters, and character have personalities and moral values and senses of humor and a bunch of other things. Reader characters may not have a backstory or a physical description attached (and even that's not guaranteed), but they're still characters.

And on a more personal note, pretending they're actual blank slates is naive at best and insensitive at worst. Reader characters are American coded 99% of the time, and white coded 95% of the time. Not every readers is white nor American, even if that's the predominant demographic on Tumblr. When I read a JavixReader fic about a woman who speaks exactly zero Spanish, I know she's not me. The story may be beautifully written and have an amazing plot and character development, but the Reader *isn't me*. There is absolutely nothing wrong with that, and some of my favorite xReader stories feature a "reader" who couldn't be more different from me, but it's something that enemies of OC fics should take into account. Particularly if they are white and/or American. But I digress.

HANNAH AARONS

Your character is amazing. She's strong, smart, confident, independent and an all-around badass. She gets kidnapped while pregnant and still focuses on problem solving and survival. But she's also overly guarded and mistrustful, and really needs to work on her communication skills. There are times when I absolutely love her and even admire her, and other times when I want to whack her with a slipper. She's no Mary Sue, but remains interesting and likeable throughout the story. She feels wholly human and real, and that's no easy task. I like her, I am invested in her, and I can't wait to see what's next for her. She's a compelling and three dimensional protagonist in a complex story who never fails to draw me in. I love her. She's your baby, and you should be proud of her.

Also, quick question about personality types: I know you've typed Javi as ESFP and Ears as ENTP (100% agree on both, btw), but have you given any thought to their enneagram types? I personally have always seen Ears as being somewhere on the thinking triad, maybe a 7 or even a 6w7, but I'm not too sure about Javi. 9w8 maybe? He could also be a 6w5 🤔

PARTING THOUGHTS

Basically, I love your story, your characters and your writing in general. You are a fantastic storyteller and wordsmith. You get into the heads of incredibly different characters personality-wise (Ears, Javi, Berna...) and manage to capture all of their complexities and quirks every single time. And it doesn't feel like it's something innate for you either. To me, it seems that you have put a lot of work and effort into understanding each and every one of your characters, who they are, why they do what they do and what they want. And let me tell you, all that effort has been more than worth it. "Better Love" is a fanfic, but it wouldn't be out of place in a regular bookstore, if I'm honest. I don't know what you do for a living or if you've ever considered writing professionally, but you clearly have the skills and the drive to create some masterpieces.

You are amazing and your writing is a gift. Thank you for sharing it with us, and have a nice day! ~ 🍪

~

My friend, I apologize for hoarding your first ask. I’ve been sitting on it because I’m not gonna lie, I enjoy going back and rereading it. It gave me a lot of comfort when I was in a pretty dark place, both personally and in regards to my writing, and I was reluctant to send it out into the the abyss of Tumblr where I might never see it again. 

That’s not fair, though. You put just as much effort into sending me that review as I put into my writing, and I apologize for never responding to you.

Okay, anyway, so twice now, you’ve made me cry. In a good way, I promise! 

I absolutely love your bread/flour metaphor. It made perfect sense. I want the emotional release of Javi and Hannah’s reunion to be earned, and in order to do that, the angst has to come first (there are also a few plot “ingredients” that have yet to make their appearances). Thank you very much for understanding that, and for voicing it so eloquently.

I appreciate your comments on my research and characterization. You’re correct that I’ve put a lot of time and effort into crafting a universe. In a lot of ways, I’m doing my best to stay true to the source material (regarding culture and timelines in particular), and in others, I’m branching into my own territory. 

On that note, I’ve never once regretted fully embracing Hannah Aarons’ identity as an OC. She’s stayed consistent in my mind from the beginning, and it was a relief to finally share my vision of her with the audience. And for the record, I totally agree with you regarding “reader” characters. Every reader insert echoes the perspective of their author, no matter how vague the physical description. I can only imagine how grating that must be from the perspective of a non-white, non-american reader. Thank you so much for sharing your insight! I will certainly keep it in mind the next time I write a “reader insert” fic.

Okay, enneagrams! I am much less familiar with enneagram than I am MBTI, but I agree 110% that Javi is a 9 with a strong 8 wing. I waffled back and forth on Ears a little, but eventually landed on 8w7 for her. It came down to the eight’s deepest fear, which is being controlled. That’s Ears all over, and the fact that she and Javi share that eight willfulness means that they might butt heads a little, which also seems very appropriate for them. Big thanks to @remusstark for her insight into the eight frame of mind - our conversations helped solidify my decision on this. :)

Anyway, I’m just rambling now. The big take-away point that I want you to get is that I am so, so grateful to you, both for your insightful feedback and your dedication in making sure that I actually saw it. You are an absolute gem and a deep thinker, Cookie-Anon, and if you ever feel like sliding into my DM’s, I’d welcome the opportunity to get to know you better.

Mad love and soft hugs, 

~ Jay

[fae-morrigan]

@lotorsgloriousempire Aight. I gave you your thirty minutes to delete this comment and apologize. Now we have to have a WIDER conversation, hm? Cause I'll be DAMNED if a I let a voltron fan talk down to ME about race.

First of all, I cannot BELIEVE you would have the audacity to insinuate I am LYING about this being a common issue when this is like, THE THIRD TIME I have had to make this sort of post in the span of three months. It has happened SEVERAL TIMES NOW where racist white people, when called out ON their racism towards Jay, explain they somehow thought he was white. You have multiple people of color in the tags commiserating on how common of an issue this is in fandom spaces and all you can think to say, is "oh, well, there's always someone, but I doubt it, you're overfocusing." That is NOT an appropriate response to this sort of conversation and you should've kept your mouth shut.

Second of all, are you so fogged up in the head that Jay needed to turn to the camera and say, "I'm asian!" for you to get it? Gamorra is in Asia. I SAY IT IN THE ORIGINAL POST IN CASE YOU SOMEHOW MISSED IT IN SOKE WHEN IT WAS SAID SEVERAL TIMES. The entire plotline of SOKE is EXPLICITLY about REAL WORLD American Interventionism in small asian countries. Korea, VIETNAM, do NONE of these things ring a bell to you? You genuinely have to be either a moron or just straight up RACIST to read SOKE and ignore the messaging there. And I don't know if you missed the part where I said authors have confirmed this, but just to reiterate- Nicole Maines is an acquaintance of mine. We have talked about this, albeit briefly. She knows what the fuck she's writing about. Do you know what the fuck you're reading?

I am also DISGUSTED by the implication that being created by a white person means that a character cannot or should not be read with race in mind. That eliminates JOHN HENRY IRONS, Bronze Tiger, Duke Thomas, Lady Shiva, and MANY others from ever having meaningful analysis about how their race effects how the story is meant to be read. I hope I do not have to explain to you why that is the dumbest thing I've ever head. It is also not like Tom Taylor specifically hasn't written about these topics before- He originated DC's first Aboriginal hero in another story specifically about colonization and American interventionism (Suicide Squad: Bad Blood).

This kind of slack-jawed, racist, insensitive ass reply can ONLY come about if you are reading these books with your brain turned off, which is NOT how ANY of the books with these characters were meant to be read. Take your fucking Yaoi goggles off and engage with the themes of the story as it is meant to be engaged with.

I will stop taking things "uncharitably" when people stop TALKING uncharitably. Most of the shit people say against Jay is based in real world racist stereotypes about men of color, and I refuse to shut up just because it makes people uncomfortable to be confronted with. You have waltzed into a conversation that you have neither the context or wit for and expected to what, calm me down? Fuck your head and the neck it rode in on.

It has officially happened enough times that like. I feel the need to make a formal post about it because good fucking god.

Jay Nakamura is an Asian man. His last name is one of the most common Japanese last names... ever. His first name is extremely common in Asian communities and is likely a romanization or shortening of the many many asian names that start with the syllable 'jay'. From a (fictional, but created BY ASIAN MEN specifically as a commentary on japan/korea) Asian country that is historically exploited by the United States. His entire story focuses on the fact that he does not have white privilege and is often exploited by white people. He LOOKS LIKE THIS.

The fact that Jay is nonwhite and is marginalized for being nonwhite is something that has been acknowledged multiple times by multiple authors. Namely Nicole Maines, his current main writer, who has retweeted analysis threads and made comments about how his development and radicalization is informed by this lack of privilege.

Yet numerous people have approached me, specifically when I am actively talking about how important it is that Jay is a man of color, and gone, well, isn't he white?

I cannot even BEGIN to FATHOM why this happens. You have to be a certain kind of dumb to look at JUST HIS NAME and go, ah, a white man. Do people think Nakamura is a French name or something?

But I can guess it comes down to a few things:

People just don't see Asian folk as people of color, I guess, outside of when they can be fetishized. This actually has been a problem in DC fandom specifically for a long time; I've noticed it particularly with Cass Cain and Damian Wayne, where their heritage will either be erased in favor of their white halves, or they'll be sexualized in the context of their cultures being orientalized.

In this same vein, race is often treated by fandom as purely cosmetic, and not something that could impact how a character is meant to be read or thought about in the story. This is part of how you get headcanons that end up leaning into racial stereotypes.

Jay is very obviously visibly queer. White people tend to assume we are the arbiters of queerness. Therefore, whenever a character has queer signifiers (dyed hair, piercings, etc), is queer, they are presumed to be white. It's the goddamn pink hair again, people can never be normal about it!

People who don't want to look racist online, but who also don't like Jay (and haven't read his stuff), are trying to convince themselves and others that they aren't actually putting down a character of color.

jay hasn't had a writer to whitewash him yet, so the fans gotta pick up the slack