#also i deleted this last paragraph bc it got too long and didnt rly fit but i'll paste it in here as a secret bonus

[polaroidcats]

hello dear cat! tumblr user @spindrifters would like to know all about mcbridge, particularly in the scenario where dolores is mcg's student, and she has a horrible self-hating crush on her hot cat teacher, and all of their interactions as adults are underpinned by her sexual frustration/internalised homophobia, pls and thank you <3

hello dear lynx and dear tumblr user @spindrifters!! what a delicious scenario, as your resident cat(lady) expert i am more than happy to deliver!!!

I mean who can blame young, confused, deeply closeted and homophobic/self loathing Dolores for having a crush on her sexy catlike teacher? We'd all let McGoogles step on us, lbr who said that

ANYWAYS so Dolores LOVES transfiguration class, she tries so hard to impress McGoogles but also really doesn't care what grade she gets in transfiguration or what feedback she gets from McGoogles (the fact that she once said "Very well done, Miss Umbridge, I'm impressed" lives rent free in her head and she has definitely never ever fantasised about hearing those words in a very different kind of scenario from her as well ...).

But those fantasies are a very rare occurance, at least while she's awake, most of the time she won't let herself get that far and blocks off any thoughts in that direction, she's very normal after all, thank you very much, she's a girly girl who loves pink and cute cats (a total coincidence of course!) and dates a respectable boy for a respectable amount of time before dumping him when he gets too handsy because she's a good girl and that's of course the only reason why she won't go further than the occasional kiss with any boy. And if she and her dormmates one night practise kissing "for boys" and she closes her eyes and accidentally thinks of a certain professor well that's just because she's stressed out about her transfiguration essay that's due in.. over 2 weeks. Listen, she likes being prepared, okay? She also makes sure to tell everyone afterwards that the dormmate she practisted kissing with came onto her and is a secret lesbian, to make sure no one suspects her of being one. A foolproof plan, of course. And if she loses a friend through that, well she doesn't really care. She has to focus on her academics anyways because she has big plans for her future that involve exceling in academics and being very normal and heterosexual.

And if one night she dreams about cuddling up with a certain professor in front of the fire in her office, surrounded by cats, drinking scottish breakfast tea and eating shortbread and feeling so very safe in her strong lean arms well that's just because... no she actually has no explanation for this and that dream haunts her way more than any of her frequent (completely involontary!!) wet dreams about her teacher haunt her. The sex dreams can easily be rationalised away but the way she woke up feeling safe and loved and then realised it was all a dream, and such a horribly unrealistic, unattainable dream too, will haunt her for years... She blames her mother for this, naturally. It must be that she's just lacking a mother figure while at hogwarts, that's the most reasonable explanation for all of this... (she almost manages to convince herself to believe this. almost. listen, she can be really convincing if she wants to, and if she sets her mind to something she will achieve it, so if she says her dreams don't mean anything then they really don't. they don't!)

The dream haunts her for so long in fact, that when she finds herself in that very same office years later, she really doesn't know what to do with herself. Of course she has mastered the art of covering up any insecurities with fake confidence, but something about McGonnagall's eyes in those glasses makes her feel like she's a sixteen year old schoolgirl again, and she's trying so hard not to want to impress her former teacher. She really doesn't mean for it to always be so awkward when she talks to McGoogles now but she can feel the fake niceness and hostility radiating off the other woman and if she weren't so set in her career path it would make her wobble and rethink all her life choices, because all she really wants in life is this wonderful woman's approval. But she came to hogwarts on a mission, and not even Minerva McGonnagall is able to keep her from accomplishing what she set out to do. But if she accepts the frequent invites for tea at her office that are clearly just a barely disguised way for McGoogles to keep tabs on her and spy on her a little, well she's only human and none of it has to mean anything. Anytime she leaves that office she's battling an inner battle of hating everything McGoogles stands for on a political level but also feeling that yearning and remembering those dreams she used to have as a schoolgirl.