#also i can't believe i haven't asked yet: what's your favorite song from fine line?

[tolerateit]

Hi. Not the same anon but the mental health talk with this album has been bothering me or annoying honestly. Like I have some problems with the whole being trapped in a mental asylum imagery too but idk. I don't mind her singing about it cuz we know she struggled in the past. I think my problem with it is everyone's saying how sad this album is yet I'm not feeling any actual emotion about it or what she went through except in some songs..So Long London, The Black Dog I guess. But like it's more in the manic non serious way than I'm actually depressed and wanna die..that I guess I can't really relate to..idk. something like ill crash on the rocks which is kinda dark but it's more in a desperate way I just don't believe really..instead of like This is Me Trying, Hoax or Evermore. I know I can Do it with a Broken Heart is supposed to be more upbeat and jokey I guess and we've all been there so it's fine. But I just wish she had one song that actually explained how bad it was for her and her feelings, similar to Evermore. I'm biased cuz that's one of my favorite songs but still. Also the way she talks about Joes issues..like sometimes it is hard being with someone like that, and I guess she couldn't handle it anymore but she excuses it away by saying she was bored. It makes me feel kinda bad about myself sometimes cuz she would find me so boring and my entire life a waste lol. Also like even if you do work on it, it's mostly still there and even if she did leave, it wouldn't fix all of the issues either..so she didn't love him enough to stay or he didn't love her enough. Like my mom makes my mental health worse at times and maybe it would be a little better if I left, but it wouldn't get rid of it completely either. But literally in the album in the Alchemy, she has the lyric the hospital was a drag and she's out of it now.. because she met Travis and now she's completely fine. She doesn't owe us anything or to talk about it of course but idk why she erased it from her life like in the Time article or blamed some of it on Joe. But I'm glad at least that she didn't pretend that they weren't in love for all that time either. I'm glad she's happy now but I have to remind myself it's okay I'm not as healed as Taylor. Even in the worst time of her life, she had someone falling in love with her lol and now it happened for her again and that was never my experience at all so I need to stop trying to relate to her anymore or compare myself to her I guess. I still mostly like the album though. Sorry idk why I typed all this and I'm really nervous sending this ask. I hope it's okay.

First of all, it's a brave thing to share your experience so please don't feel nervous about it, this was a very insightful read (and it's absolutely okay btw!! Thank you for trusting me) and I completely agree with you, at first I thought it's because I haven't played the album in full or just sat with it enough to fully absorb it but it's been a week and I definitely don't think it's her saddest or most harrowing work so far. A lot of times it seems as if she's dangling a dark lyric for shock value and then immediately switching it up with a follow up that's not entirely relevant to the line. Even though a lot of people insist that context is important, some lines still rub me off as insensitive, and despite it (probably) not being her intention the locked up in an asylum imagery comes off as not much more than an aesthetic to me, at the very least. She was much more vulnerable and meaningful in evermore, and I can't help but feel a little cautious of the work she puts out post renegade because it has disillusioned me from my previous perception of her work.

[ssecretssanta]

@h-isforhome​​ Hi, Lovely !! This is your secret santa and I’m trying something out so bear with me lmao. I’m pretty sure Tumblr keeps eating parts of my asks so I’m gonna try to start replying to stuff using this blog instead of asks so things don’t get all split up (I’m still going to send asks don’t worry, just not obscenely long ones that get munched on by Tumblr, lol). So I’ll just put the message below the cut and we can hopefully communicate more coherently without Tumblr hating us. Feel free to either reblog and continue the conversation that way (you can add your own cut so they don’t get too annoyingly long for everyone, lmao) or make your own posts and @ me, whatever works best ! (or if it doesn’t work at all I’ll just keep sending anon asks instead, lol)

heya !! I’m really hoping this will work, lol (and if not we’ll just pretend like it didn’t happen). sorry for taking so long to sort my shit out and respond !! it’s been a hectic week for me and i’ve been trying to balance work and school because they keep overscheduling me so i’ve been neglecting my homework which is stressing me out more (rip to my grades rn lol).

anyways, time to respond to everything let’s go:

my favorite from fine line is probably falling because it makes me Feel Things but also golden and canyon moon and sunflower and wow this entire album is just so good holy shit.

houses 100% should not be decorated before thanksgiving. I can get behind some christmas lights because I strongly believe those should be a year-round decoration but other than that, No. I should not have to stare at a bunch of creepy santa decorations or have that whole red and green color scheme anywhere near me while I’m trying to devour some turkey and mashed potatoes. now you’re really making me think of how much potential thanksgiving music could have and i’m kinda Upset that it’s not already a thing. petition to start a pop punk thanksgiving band to take the Boomers down?

alksdjlfaj minutt for minutt I’m EMO. and yeah, the stress is already back full force but also less so towards work now so that’s nice?? like at least I know that people there won’t really care what I do and I’m figuring out where I stand with everyone so that’s nice (also my favorite manager told me that I’ll definitely get hired on after seasonal if I want so that’s nice !!) I’m putting “life is just a bunch of mistakes in a trenchcoat pretending to be perfect” on my wall bc I need the reminder every day lmao. my constant state of mind rn is just:

i would like to criticize you on using those contacts but honestly it would be hypocritical because I too cannot be assed to pay more for things and use things way past the time they should be used lmao

sasha sloan does have a lot of slower songs but sometimes that’s my Brand and i’m so glad you like her music !! oh boy i’m the EXACT same way with playlists lmao my friends have learned not to give me the aux cord bc my music taste varies so much from day to day and no one else seems to vibe with it lol (I’m always fine with listening to whatever they put on but when I’m alone it’s a shitstorm).

seasonal work is so Exhausting. like, I knew retail would be bad, but it’s Bad. at least the people I work with are super chill and nice bc if they weren’t I would have already quit lmao. tutoring honestly sounds pretty fun !! I’m sure there are lots of challenges that come along with it though so kudos to you for helping the youth, I’m sure you’re amazing at it !!

aksdj The Couple is the same reason I started watching Schitt’s Creek and it’s seriously just So Good. I didn’t know how I felt about the Good Place at first but I was bored enough to get through the first few episodes and then it just kind of picked up from there and now it’s one of my favorites, so I’d definitely recommend giving it another go !!

high school just sucks ass overall lmao, the breaks are always awful and most people spend them catching up on homework anyways so like??? there’s almost no point?? oh well. I’m just glad I’m almost done and then I can Move On. I’m always happy to send you asks that let you talk about yourself bc I love hearing about you so it’s a win-win !

I love your tags so much here we go:

I have two siblings that are both 4 years apart from me, an older sister and a younger brother. I’m literally right in the middle, lol. It’s a blessing and a curse.

I would love to visit New York for the first time or D.C. again (I went there over the summer for a school trip and it was so pretty and I would love to go again and actually take time to see every museum). I’m going to Nashville for another school trip this summer and like I’m always excited to see new things but like?? Tennesee is not really in my To Visit places so we’ll see how it is. you’re absolutely right about the South and you should say it. way too hot.

too sad to cry and smiling when I die were literally my repeat songs for like a week when I just needed some Emotions lmao !! sad bby hours for days

oof I think i’m more of a tv person but I also have really bad commitment issues so I tend to leave things unfinished oops. but I’ll honestly watch any movie and most likely will enjoy it which is why it’s hard for me to pick a favorite movie bc like?? all of them?? so idk really, haha. rom coms are the superior movie genre but I also enjoy some action and horror as well. (why would you bring that moment up oof).

okay I think that’s all for now. hopefully this was easier to deal with than having 20 asks but if not just let me know and I’ll go back to that, lol.

wishing you the best as always,

- s.s.  🎅

(i love your new sign-off. it’s perfect for you and makes my heart do Things)

[rixxy8173571m3w1p3]

A Perfect Mess

This fic is based off chapter thirteen of @matchacakesareforfoxes fic Domesticity: The Random Files

I love their fic and if you haven't already, please go read it and the chapter this fic was inspired by. It was a privilege to write your and I just hope I managed to do it justice @matchacakesareforfoxes

In this fic the reader makes a mess

__________

You had tried to do this before, but you hadn't tried to do so in this place. In speaking about this place, you meant in the warmth and familiarity of his kitchen; whose tiles, corners, and fascinating collection of mugs were almost known by name; of the items which hadn't been given a name, they still had a purpose but weren't as remembered or remarkable. You've cooked other things here, like lunches and dinners, and breakfast on rare occasions, but baking here had been avoided. It hadn't been because Zeta-7s kitchen was lacking. On the contrary, it was a delightful space and he had all manner of ingredients; you weren't in want of possibilities or lacking imagination, but you held a reluctance.

Talent, for a better word, was not what you had when it came to sweets. It wasn't an art like cooking, but a culinary science which you knew Zeta-7 had studied down to the smallest degree. Still, you were going to try. Oh, but trying was different than doing.

You leaned towards an upper shelf for the bottle of good vanilla and found you couldn't reach. If this hadn't been as much of a surprise as you wanted it to be, you would've accepted his assistance. You would've admired the outstretched arm which would've found no challenge in grabbing the amber bottle; filled with the essence which forever permeated a few of his favorite sweaters and at times was detected on his skin. Yet, those were sentiments which could flourish on another occasion, because you were going to do this on your own.

____________

Perhaps you should've prayed instead.

The song McArthur Park came to mind when you stepped on the eggshells which missed the trash can. When the baking soda spilled all over the counter you couldn't recall, and you realized you were dusted with flour as though you had applied it like an after shower perfume; you thought maybe you should've quit. Yet, despite losing the recipe you had pinned on Pinterest and the ungodly amount of sugar which had been used, the batter was mixed together and placed in the oven. Great, that was done but now there was the mess. Oh man, where to begin.

Glancing at yourself, you thought maybe you should change, but you'd have to swing by your house to do so. Decisions, decisions; it just felt like too much work. During the span of time when you had wondered as to what you should do, the scent of burning passed your nose. That part though was simple to figure out; the oven was on fire. Wait……the Oven was ON FIRE?!

“RICK!”

Wherever he had been in the house hadn't mattered, for not only did he rush in, but his three robot clones had as well. If you hadn't been so panicked, you might've wondered why they hadn't joined in past cuddle sessions. Zeta-7 wasted no time when he scooped you up in his arms while clones one and two extinguished the fire. "Are y-y-you okay?"

"I'm um… I'm fine, but I'm not sure about the oven."

Clone three removed the burned contents of what would've been cookies, and determined that nothing had been damaged, but it would take a while to clean. Seeing that his robots had it under control, Zeta-7 eased you down onto the couch not caring if you would leave a mess and inspected you until he was satisfied that you hadn't injured yourself. "Ricky, I told you I was fine."

"Y-you're right, I'm s-sorry."

"No," you sighed; disheartened but all the more so embarrassed. "I'm sorry. I can't believe this all happened. I should've asked where the fire extinguisher was first. That, or bought some baking skills at Bed Bath and Beyond. I'm pretty sure you can find it in the abyss of the Beyond section."

Now that death was not imminent, you were a jumbled mess and just babbled as though it would make things better or possibly make sense. Zeta-7 for his part studied you, and the more he did, the more you wished you could crawl under a rock. You deserved to be yelled at, scolded, or anything where you would be punished for daring to believe you could keep up with this man skills. And when he opened his mouth to speak, you thought you were in for it, but instead, he laughed; the kind which spoke of his relief; you hadn't quite expected that reaction. You were partly confused, partly annoyed that he hadn't been upset when he should've been, but your pouting only encouraged his amusement; his laughter filling the house with this happy noise.

When he was like this, you couldn't stand how much you loved him; how you were won over, and enamored by the radiance he exuded easily; all the lines around his eyes and mouth prominent but reassuring of his happiness. Soon enough, having watched Rick collapse over himself with mirth, inspired giggles of your own to bubble forth. It would be a few minutes when either of you was rational; at least enough to explain what had transpired a half-hour before.

You wanted to bake cookies and surprise Rick while he was working. That was it; just bake cookies then surprise Rick with said cookies; possibly earn a few brownie points; any points for that matter, but no, the Baking Gods were against such aspirations for you evidently. Rick for his part, placed his hands lightly on your shoulders and gave them a squeeze, leaning over enough so you both would be eye to eye. “I don't think any Gods had a hand in this, I think y-your power is just too great for baking cookies.”

You tried not to, but you couldn't help it and began another fit of laughter with Rick not far behind. "I don't think I have any powers worth mentioning, but they are weak against chocolate. As well as other things."

The laugh which had been ready to escape him seemed to die as he took a glance at your lips, then away as though whatever thought sprang up in his head wasn't worth elaborating further. You really wished he would've because then you could've elaborated on a thought of your own.

__________

When you two had found your composure, you set about cleaning up the kitchen together; hopefully, it would be easier now that you had gotten the taste of pyromania out of your system. “Rick, you don't have to stay here. I can clean it up on my own.”

Zeta-7 wouldn't hear of it and simply smiled. "It's okay. Besides, it's no fun cleaning up th-the dishes by yourself.”

You blew a raspberry at him, petulant. "Are you sure? Or is spontaneous combustion also a worry for you?"

"N-no not at all."

“You just don't want me to be in here by myself anymore, huh?” you teased; flashing him a wink.

Confusion; the silent inquisition which occurred when you danced in between the barrier of enigmatic and odd. The questions which he had never came up, for the confusion melted into something like a smirk as he flicked some suds on your nose with the dish sponge. With mock surprise, you grabbed a spoon from the soapy water and placed it under the faucet; effectively splashing him and also yourself. "That did not go as I planned it."

Rick shook his head at you, but instead of responding he dipped his hands in the water and splashed you with more soapy dishwater; you responding in like kind; splashing each other and getting water all over the floor and yourselves; completely soaked in a matter of minutes. You didn't want to know how much worse you must've looked. However, when you calmed a little from your hysterics, you realized he had stopped laughing; lost to his ruminations. You wondered if you had pushed him too far, or if he was upset about the wet floor, but what followed was not what you had expected.

He was staring at you past his drenched bangs, his electric blues immovable in their intensity; this in itself was not uncommon, but it gave him this otherworldly quality; as though they would glow in the dark if the lights went out. The front of his sweater clung to him; the outline of his lean muscles impossible to ignore. You felt warmth in your cheeks; warmer yet when the hand which had been holding a sponge earlier, came up to cup your cheek and an arm was slipped about your waist. "Rick, I'm a mess. You don't…you wouldn't want to..."

"Gosh, y-you're so beautiful." he interrupted.

"What? No," you retorted, trying to pull away from his grasp as though you didn't deserve it. "not like this. I'm a mess and the dishes still need to be washed. If anything, I'm a disaster."

Tucking a lock of your hair behind your ear, he softened. "Y-you're not a disaster."

"Yes, I am. I disrupted your work, almost burned down the house and dirtied your cute sweater."

"Gosh, it was only a-a happy accident."

"In what way?" you wondered.

"I-I got to see you. I don't know when I-I would've stepped out of the garage. Possibly whenever I finished working on my latest invention, but I should've been here instead. We could've baked together."

"I didn't want to bother you. You had your welding helmet on and all those processor chips. I wasn't sure if you were making a computer or a doomsday device, but you were busy. I know how important your work is to you."

"It is important but not as important as you. I'm sorry about that. I - an idea had struck me and I was dying t-t-to get started, but it seems I wouldn't have been able t-t-to get that far anyway since I didn't have all the parts required. This means I-I did have time."

"I didn't know. I just wanted to make you happy with a sweet surprise."

"Gee, I'm happy having you here. That alone is enough. I got t-t-to see a whole new side to you that I haven't seen before. I don't - I'm not talking about the way you're dressed, but unlike those other times we've cooked together, I feel as though I saw the real you. You don't - I know how you feel when it comes t-t-to baking and how frustrating you find it, but finding you there amongst that mess, wearing an apron that's a-a little too big for you and the flour on your cheeks, why it was…"

"A mess." you frowned.

"An adorable mess; a beautiful mess; a-a perfect mess."

"Dear, I don't think those words go together."

"I guess they don't, but I meant it when I said I was glad t-t-to see you're alright, and here all in one piece. That's all I could ask for. I thought an intruder had managed t-to get into the house, or that one of the security bots had malfunctioned, which was why I unleashed my robot clones, but seeing that it was simply a-a cooking accident was the best thing I could've seen because it meant that I-I hadn't lost you."

The hand which had cupped your cheek slipped itself into your hair and smoothed it down, gently, and with purpose. The seriousness which you had seen in his eyes earlier had returned, and the arm around your waist tightened. "Rick," you softened. "it'll take more than burned cookies to take me away from you."

"Really?" he brightened.

"Of course."

Looking at you, in that funny, darling way as he did from time to time, he pressed a kiss upon your temple and lingered there; finding comfort in the closeness. You rubbed his back, and told him it was okay; that you were okay and that he didn't need to worry. Though, in reality, you realized that you needed to be more diligent next time you decided to bake. However, knowing that he had your back if you put yourself in danger again was comforting in its own right.

And when it seemed that he had been comforted enough, he pulled away a little, only to return with an unknown confidence and captured your mouth in a soft kiss; his insistence winning you over, and made you forget what it was either of you was supposed to do; all there being was you, him, and the fading world. Entranced, you seemed to mold into him, and melted with every second that passed. If you hadn't needed to breathe, there wouldn't have been any force in this universe that could've made you two part. Yet, part you would, and when he pulled away, you wondered. "What about the dishes?"

Whether he was aware of it or it was done unconsciously Zeta-7 chased after your retreating mouth. With cheeks aflame, he answered before kissing you again. "The dishes can ugh - can wait."

Fin