#also how do i be succinct this chapter is almost 10k words long. it's just one chapter????

[ladysomething]

Well, I lasted three update emails. I was holding out on starting your new fic so I could binge a lot of chapters at once, but after getting the update email today I just couldn’t wait and to no one’s surprise, I loved every minute of it! Such an interesting world you’ve created and it’s only going to get better (for us, for Charles who knows).

I do have to ask since I’m not a fic writer - when you say you’re expecting this to be around 150-180k is that daunting for you as a writer or exciting? Right now you’re averaging around 8,000 words a chapter so with that average that’s around 20 chapters and with possible (please don’t view this as pressure) weekly updates that’s 20ish weeks of fic! I’m always so curious if this seems overwhelming to writers? I know as a reader it’s so damn exciting.

lol can you tell I’m a numbers girl and not a writer?

ah thank you! I'm so glad you're enjoying it, and I totally understand the urge to want to wait. I'm excited you're coming along on the journey anyway!

moving on to your question, I'll try to be succinct but to nobody's surprise I am an absolute yapper so it probably will be a long and winding answer.

I think firstly, you kind of almost explained it yourself, but in the opposite way. I'm a writer, not a numbers girl haha. I personally (though other writers may have different experiences) don't really think about how many chapters it will be, or how many weeks of uploads, so there is really no opportunity for it to be daunting because it doesn't really enter my mind.

The outline I have for this fic IS broken into chapters, but I already am not sticking to it. When I'm writing, I often explore a scene in much more detail (and therefore many more words) that I expected when writing the note for scene. e.g. today's chapter was like "1. Charles goes into pre-heat 2. max claims Charles 3. Pierre shows up" and then it ended up being 10k. I just finished writing chapter 6, which is also at 10k, and I've ended up having to shift half of what I outlined for chapter 6 into chapter 7 because I found a natural end point and I didn't want to end up with a 20k chapter.

so, for me at least, when I write I make a lot of decisions based on my instincts. does this scene need more, or is it dragging? is this chapter complete, or does more need to be added? is there too much in this chapter, and should I split it?

all of which is to say - my estimate of 150-180k is based on how much I have written so far (55k) and at what point in the story am I up to (I honestly don't think act 1 is done yet). I suspect my estimate of 150-180k is very low, and it's not getting to that word count that's daunting, because it's not what I'm actually working towards.

what IS daunting is trying to tell the story itself. are the characters right? are their intentions coming through? am I hiding what I want to hide? do I have a note of plot I've started at the beginning so I make sure I follow it through to the end? working towards answering those questions is what I'm thinking about, and that is always daunting, no matter whether its 10k or 200k (though.... PWP is always fairly mindless hahaha).

but it IS exciting. especially when people love something. I've written a lot of fic in my time, long and short, complete and not complete, and I can absolutely guarantee that the difference between exciting and daunting is how people react. when people love something ... the nerves are there, but they're eclipsed by the sheer joy of knowing you brought a smile to somebody's face with your writing.

not to get sappy, but I whole-heartedly believe that my purpose on this earth is to make people happy through my writing. if I know that I'm doing that, I could write 200k fic after 200k fic and die a happy woman.

I hope that kind of answered your question anon! long and winding, but fairly thorough? haha

[edsbacktattoo]

Chapter Twelve: A Thousand Guilts

Ta-dah! Newest chapter has been posted, and you can find it here. :)

[kinetic-elaboration]

Fic Rec Tag Game

I was tagged by @dylanobrienisbatman​, @thelittlefanpire​, and @eyessharpweaponshot​ -- thank you for the tags!

Post your fics you are most proud of! No limit on how many, just the ones you look at and just feel so pleased that you wrote something so great! Tag as many people as you like to get them to share their own fics! 2k19 is the year we love our own fics babes!

This is probably going to get long because I love my own writing and I’m not going to lie about it. But I’m mostly only going through my T100 fic because that’s simpler and I’m full of self-love but also lazy. (Bonus HP at the end though!)

Since There’s No Place to Go - Bellarke, 2.5k, Modern AU

West Virginia 2009. Clarke visits the Blakes and brings them a post-Christmas gift.

A fave because: I think I really nailed the style and tone I was going for: simple and clean and soft; imo it’s just pleasant to read.

This Night is Wild, So Calm and Dull - Bellarke, 1.7k, S1

Clarke is so sure that Bellamy isn't the boyfriend type that when he kisses her, and it's sweet and gentle and soft, she's more taken aback by the careful way he lets his palm rest against her cheek than by the kiss itself. 

A fave because: This one sat unfinished for a long time, and I was pleased with the final outcome and glad I bothered to finish it instead of just letting the first few paragraphs grow dusty in a wip folder. Also: this could have been S1. We could have had it all!

if you yell like that, you’ll wake the dead - Jonty, 1.1k, canon-divergent S4

I woke up with the taste of metal in my mouth back from the dead

A fave because: Jonty angst is my secret favorite thing in this fandom, tbh. Also I wrote this all in one go after getting the idea on the bus and it helped me resolve at least some feelings from the trauma of Jasper’s canon death. Bonus: finally got to use that Naked Lunch quote that haunts me.

My Whole Expanse I Cannot See - Mackson, 3.5k, S4

Miller and Jackson share a room on Science Island and start to grow closer as they contemplate the end of the world. 

A fave because: Classic Me style. And the only full length Mackson I’ve yet written.

Pause; Rewind - Monty & Bryan, 12k, S3 / canon-divergent

Monty and Bryan take a trip to the former dropship camp; Monty reminisces about the past and considers an alternate life not lived. 

A fave because: I enjoy getting into Monty’s head. I know gen fic, especially long gen fic, has no readership, but I personally love how this turned out. (I like the fic to which it is a sequel, too, though I decided not to include it on this list.)

oh well, you’ve got me under your spell - Bellarke, 8.7k, high school au

Clarke is sophomore class president, assistant copy editor on the school paper, and a member of the debate team.

Bellamy is her best friend's tough, troublesome, protective older brother.

They barely even know each other. And yet for some reason he keeps showing up at her house.

A favorite because: I love this universe and think about it all the time, but I have such major writer’s block on chapter two that I haven’t even touched it in months. So in that sense this story makes me sad. But the first chapter at least is the kind of high school aesthetic that I’m allowed to be nostalgic for, now that it’s so far in the past that I never have to think of all the crappy parts of hs again.

We’re Home at Last - Bellarke, 4.5k, S1 (rated E on AO3 but more like M tbqh)

“The King fell in love with his Queen.”

A favorite because: I hated this while I was writing it, but now that it’s done and I have distance, I’m very proud of it. Pretty vague-smut and Earth-lovin’ scenery porn.

Iridescent - Jonty, 10k, Modern AU

Jasper takes up photography in the wake of Maya's death, and in the process makes a new friend. 

A favorite because: Writing recovery arcs for Jasper makes me feel calm inside, and I had fun with the plant aesthetic of Monty’s apartment.

Bring It On Home  - Bellarke & Miller, 10k, Modern AU

While working his summer job, helping with the repairs to Police Chief Miller’s house, Bellamy meets the Police Chief’s son and his best friend, with whom he becomes increasingly entangled in the last weeks before he leaves for college. 

A favorite because: I worked super hard on this fic and it was sort of an experiment for me, but what I ended up with was a universe I think about semi-often and feel nostalgia for. I miss this fic a lot.

The Oasis - Gen, 2.2k, Apocalypse AU

Four survivors of the nuclear apocalypse find refuge in a farmhouse and receive aid from its two inhabitants. 

A favorite because: I had a ridiculous amount of fun writing this series of Halloween fics and the aesthetic of this one worked out especially well imo.

The Sea - Lincoln/Luna, 2k, Canon-divergent (?)

Lincoln follows Luna to their new home on the sea. But on the oil rig at night, strange sounds can be heard from the water.

A favorite because: Another Halloween fic. The last one I did, and I almost skipped it because I was getting burned out, but I’m glad I didn’t because it’s a unique little story by my standards, both in terms of pairing and plot.

Anchored in the Ground - Bellarke, 9k, Canon-divergent

As they approach a relationship milestone, Bellamy and Clarke consider their personal futures, and the future of Arkadia.

A favorite because: This could have been their future! No, seriously, this is a pretty succinct summary of my ideal Bellarke/T100 endgame. Bellamy is Chancellor, Clarke is an Ambassador, the community is thriving and open, and there is peace. Also Bellarke are married. Obviously.

Bonus: Harry Potter Favorites

Words Like Smoke - Sirius/Remus, 6k, MWPP / AU

It's almost Christmas, and Sirius is missing again.  James and Remus come up with a brilliant plan to keep track of him.  

Or, a 1920's/post-WWI AU in which the wizarding community rejects magic, Remus makes maps in his spare time, and Sirius suffers from invisible scars.

Or, a love story.

A favorite because: I wrote this in college after reading Mrs. Dalloway and honestly I feel like that’s pretty much all I have to say about that. (Seriously this is probably one of the best things I’ve ever written though.)

Elegy - Sirius/Remus, 2.3k, OotP-era

Remus wrote poetry.  Sirius finds it.  Dinner is burned, dishes are rattled, the ceiling has mysterious stains, and Remus quotes John Donne.

A favorite because: I miss my favorite dysfunctional wizards. I reread this yesterday and legitimately got teary at the end.

Burning Straight Down - Sirius/Remus, 2.1k, First War Era

Sirius, sleepless and twisted inside; and Remus, feeling down on himself again; and the summer, heat waves and Death Eater attacks and letters from home.

A favorite because: I mean, as above, pretty much. An experiment in style that I think, with 10+ years of hindsight, worked.

...So I’m pretty sure everyone has already been tagged in this so if you haven’t and want to do it, do it and tag me! I always need more lists of fics to someday get around to reading... (That sounds sarcastic but it is not. I really do love seeing everyone’s favorite works floating around.)