#also he calls any first-second year students things like 'rugrats' 'tykes' 'brats' and 'nippers'

[carewyncromwell]

...So I’ve come to a decision about my girl Carewyn’s adopted “son” Erik Apollo -- post-Hogwarts, he’ll have become an Auror and an assistant DADA teacher at Hogwarts...circa the time a lot of your HPMA kids will be at school. :D

So if your HPMA kids need DADA tutoring or some useful jinxes and curses that the other teachers won’t teach, they can always reach out to my boy! He might be a snarky, impolite, potty-mouth little bugger who has none of the “nurturing” vibes his guardian Carewyn’s got, but he knows his stuff and he’s got his own weird flair for teaching. He’s already kind of taken @cursebreakerelmswood​‘s kid Jordi Prewett under his wing, so if any of your kids mess with him, “Professor Apollo” might bring you up to the front of the class at his next tutoring session and use you as target practice for the latest hex he plans to teach. ;) If you’re very, very lucky, you might even get the chance to hear him play the trumpet at the top of the abandoned Astronomy Tower in the early mornings, before everyone else gets up. This boi = ultimate morning person.

“Afternoon, rugrats. First years, then? All right -- reckon I should say my piece, before we start.

“The name’s Erik Apollo -- you may call me ‘Professor Apollo,’ ‘Professor,’ or just ‘Apollo.’ Call me anything else only when I’m not in earshot. I’m the most recent applicant accepted into the Auror Department at the British Ministry of Magic. Aurors normally fight Dark Wizards -- but since I’m still the new recruit, they thought it best to position me somewhere that needs ‘monitoring,’ so they plopped me down here. Normally one would be pissed off at the thought of graduating school with honors and achieving your dream job, only to be sent right back to school -- fortunately, Hogwarts is anything but a peaceful place, as I’m sure you’ll all figure out sooner or later.

“I’m not here to replace your professor -- my sessions are optional and tri-weekly, Monday-Wednesday-Friday. Opt out of any and all of them, if you want -- I don’t care. I only respect those who are willing to put in the work to improve themselves...so if you’re not interested in protecting yourself and your family from the Dart Arts and in learning as much as you can, then you can clear out. If you stick around, I will teach you. I won’t play nice, and I won’t coddle and give you gingersnaps like some of your other teachers -- but I will teach you. All I expect is that you come to my sessions focused and ready to fight and that you don’t bitch if I pick you to help me with a demonstration. Once you master the spell in question, then I might give you the chance to cast on someone else. Until then, you’ll just have to be a guinea pig once and a while. (smirks) Don’t worry. You all will have your chance at being the guinea pig at some point.

“Now...if all the lily-livered among us have cleared out...let’s begin.”