#also got him to enjoy I HAVENT WRITTEN THIS ONE YET BUT IM SURE ILL THINK OF SOMETHING

[parallasso]

I think it's really funny that one of my friends and I were talking abt how he doesn't like spoken poetry, that he just thinks it's meant to be read and not listened to. And then I was playing Apple by The Narcissist Cookbook and he went "fuck, I do like this"

[takemus]

🛒✨🧐🤩🎉!!!

Fanfic Writer Emoji Ask || Still accepting!

this got kinda long so im putting it under a cut 😭

🛒 What are some common things you incorporate in your fics? Themes, feels, scenes, imagery, etc.

HMMM i've never really thought about this tbh...i do tend to write a lot of romance bc i'm a sucker for that, and love including themes like overcoming obstacles (i blame the whole 'fight god' shtick going on with jrpgs bc i ate that shit right up) or the struggle with destiny (free will vs predetermination). struggling and fighting is such a big part of character development and plot and i love thinking about different ways this can be portrayed depending on the character(s)

i also love including a lot of introspection and internal thoughts bc i enjoy diving into the thoughts and ideas of characters!! what they're feeling or thinking at a certain time, their justifications and motivations--it's soo important to me, esp if i want to include that sweet sweet yearning,,

✨ Give you and your writing a compliment. Go on now. You know you deserve it. 😉

NOOO I CANT THINK OF THAT MANY MORE

i am proud of how much ive written cumulatively tho, bc apparently i have like 50k words on my ao3 account alone, and although id say about half of that is from rp/collab fics and not written on my own, i still have a good amount that i did write by myself! not to mention i dont post all of my writing onto ao3, so there's a lot of wips in my drive and uh...old fics on my ffn account LMAO (i do not perceive them) that i havent accounted for

ik word count doesnt mean anything, but i do consider it to be evidence of the fact that ive written. a reflection of how much ive come up with? id like to write again once im in the mood again and add to this and maybe one day, ill finally finish a chapter fic (even if it's short!)

🧐 Do you spend much time researching for your stories?

it depends on what i'm writing about, but when i do, i spend an embarrassing amount of time 😭 ive spent hours reading wiki articles for franchises i know enough about bc i like rereading things, or i accidentally wind up going to other pages and reading about them. it's not too bad tho bc sometimes ill wind up learning something new, clarifying a misconception, or just discover something i flat-out missed

on the other hand, ill sometimes just go 'fuck it we ball' bc ik i spend a little too much time researching that i wind up not writing at all, or it winds up being really complicated and i'm not able to understand it well enough to correctly convey in my writing

🤩 Who is your favorite character to write?

OH MAN this is kinda hard...but im gonna say it's probably alex, simply bc he's literally THE culmination of things that i love from other characters (archetype, features, that kinda thing). i love putting him through a lot and pushing his development. plus, the way he is makes it easy for me to bully him (affectionate) while also being able to get in my fix of angst

i just don't enjoy writing how he speaks bc i have this nebulous idea of what i want for his speech pattern, yet i'm not quite able to execute it in a way i like 😭 i'm p sure this is bc i love him a lot and want to be perfect with how i portray him, so thats holding me back

🎉 What leads you to consider a fic a success?

probably if i finish a fic. im still at the point where i dont consistently finish that many pieces so id like to at least be able to do that 😭

otherwise, if im liking my writing and how the fic's coming along, id consider that to be successful too and that i'm doing the right thing so far!

[peachieflame]

Do you have any ither zukka fic recs? I’ve been trying to discover some new good ones:)

Yess I love giving recs! A little warning tho, all the fics Im gonna mention are more than 5k+ words long cause I don't like short one-shots and a lot of them are multi-chaptered with over 40k+ words. Also I'll update this as I read and discover more faves!

Expand to see the list cause its long....

Lighthouse Beam: Sokka’s breathtakingly beautiful and he’s smart and makes other people laugh. Zuko has a half-burnt face and a deaf ear. It’s not rocket science. Or, Zuko falls in love with the boy in his Philosophy class.

🍑: I really like college/highschool AUs and even more zukka fics where Sokka is actually described to be smart. Sokka is one of the smartest characters in the whole show Idk why he's been branded as a dumb, dense character by the fandom. Anyways, loved that this fic had Zuko being the one to fall first as-well.

In the Soft Light: As the newly appointed cultural liaison to Northern Water Tribe, Zuko is the first Fire Nation Citizen to step foot inside the city's walls in nearly a century. He's determined to prove himself—to the Fire Lord and to his father—even if the Water Tribe's spirit-touched prince seems to want nothing to do with him. Or Moon Spirit Sokka AU.

🍑: Enjoy this authors' writing style, really engages me in the story. Also ahhhh fanfic based on my moon spirit Sokka... im very grateful 😭. I didn't include this one in an ask about moon spirit sokka au cause I hadnt known about it at the time but now I reread it whenever I can.

7 Things We Did (and Probably Shouldn't Have): How Zuko and Sokka collided through ill advised means—or approximately seven (7) acts—is beyond them. In just a year, they will trudge through the unorthodox conquests of youth (see #2: The Late Acquisition of 2 gallons of Arizona Peach Iced Tea) or capitalist schemes (#5: Bought A $4,550 Jacuzzi). But how they manage to Allow Aang to Become Vegan (#1), Host The Mr. Teen Universe Contest (#7) and, um, Set The Classroom on Fire—Again (#6) to eventually fall for each other, is still a mystery to them.

🍑: Although this one hasn't been updated in almost a year, the 2 chapters that are posted is some of the most fun I've had reading a fanfic! I admire the coding put into it so that it has a creative, unique structured. Also cute little things like the scrap paper or the scrollable email box (which blew my mind when I first saw it, I didn't even know it was possible to code something like that) just engaged me more in the writing.

Kiss Me To Just Shut Me Up: Zuko proffers the card, and Sokka takes it, their fingers brushing. Sokka tries to cover up the way he shivers at the contact by turning the card over and squinting at the text written on the front. Zuko Sozin. Tattoo Artist. The Jasmine Dragon. A single dragon curls around the characters in red ink. — There's a new tattoo and piercing shop on Ember Island Beach.

🍑: Oh beau... you're so multitalented. This was the fanfic I was recommending to everyone that bought a zukka print from me at cons like I had no shame I just wanted everyone to read Beau's amazing work. And you all should read it if you havent yet.

Five Times Zuko Wanted to Die (and One Time He Didn't): “Sorry about that,” the voice says, and suddenly the curtain has been pushed aside, and Zuko is speechless. “What can I help you with?” He stares. “Um— ” The boy has to be around his age, he’s sure of it. He’s got the most perfect tan face Zuko has ever seen, with blue eyes so brilliant it’s hard to form words. Or the college-age AU in which Sokka fixes watches, Zuko struggles through engineering, and everyone's nervous about the cute boy from the jewelry shop.

🍑: Modern settings fics that aren't like cafe/barista AUs are kind of hard to find (or at least ones that I like cause im picky) so I was surprised to see this one! Again it's an enjoyable fic where Zuko is smitten first and Sokka is not written as dumb. I also remember wanting to draw fan art (one of the scenes) so maybe I'll go dig that sketch up and finish it.

At the Top of the World: Zuko is sent in disgrace to Alaska's Northern coast to ensure nothing stands in the way of Sozin Oil Company’s new offshore drilling project. He is willing to do whatever it takes to make his father see he’s worthy, even if it means fighting against the one person he's met who actually seems to give a damn about him.

🍑: I'll never shut up about this fic, its beautifully written, well paced and realistic characterizations. As an Indigenous person this fanfic tackled Indigenous struggles better than any other fanfics I've read so far and it shows the author did their research. ATLA fandom tends to sweep aside Katara and Sokka's indigenous identity a lot. It's even more frustrating when most fics acknowledge colonialism and racism and yet brush aside Indigenous discussions or theory because they're either scared of touching the topic or don't care. Even fics that do mention their Indigenity is brushed aside with surface level discussions you can tell the author is just parroting from whatever twitter thread they skimmed. Im definitely not saying that fanfic should be an educator for social political issues or that it should be written in a way that it could replace theory for whoever stumbles upon it. Im just baffled that so many authors will mention colonialism only to explore it's effects on Zuko and not the actual Indigenous characters.......... that's all.

[wychive]

𝙪𝙣𝙨𝙥𝙤𝙠𝙚𝙣 𝙬𝙤𝙧𝙙𝙨

summary // you found your pile of ‘letters’ to hyunjin that contain thoughts that have never been said and decided to write to him one last time.

pairing(s) // hyunjin x gn!reader, hyunjin x oc, slight minho x reader

genre(s) // angst, letter fic 

warning(s) // mentions of food, themes of being forgotten, vulgar wording, humiliation, overthinking

word count // 2.0k

author's note // happy birthday @noya-sannnn​ !! im sorry this was so late hhh you know how i am irl,, but i hope you enjoy this! i love you so much, jane <3 i apologize for the many grammar mistakes gn. i recommend listening to iu’s ending scene while reading this! btw y/n/n means your nickname.

[10/01/14, 3:55am]

dear jinnie,

hi there! it's y/n <3 i hope you're doing okay - i mean of course you are pfft anyways, just writing this short letter (more like paragraph)  sort of as a venting mechanism? for things i cant tell you about lol  im not so sure how you would call it, since you're so much better at words than i am. basically were like:

hyunjin: ow a brain freeze!

me: haha brain go brrrr

anyways haha yea <3 it's 4am so like,, ill see you at school!

signed,

your loser,

y/n/n

[15/02/14, 12:34am]

yo heartthrob!

im back with this kinda stuff haha it's been a whole? week? since ive written one of these so like yes..hi! i just wanted to say thanks, for today. you really know how to cheer me up huh? you really outdid yourself by setting up that little picnic for us. congrats on making the strawberry cake so perfectly <3 this day will always stay as a core memory in the back of my brain. you're too caring sometimes,,, istg you'll pay for this [maybe hugs?] >:) 

signed,

your partner in crime,

y/n/n

[30/02/15, 01:29am]

jinnie-senpai~~

LMAO you hate me calling you that, doesn't change a thing though. hehe,, nways i hope you enjoyed your birthday present :) i got you that really cool skateboard that you wanted. i worked my ass off for that in my mother's garden so like,, you gotta thank me for that a thousand times :D nah jk, its a sincere gift, from me to you. i rarely do this for ANYONE so consider yourself lucky to have a best friend like me -3- also, seungmin is like….kinda the cutest person ever. introduce me to him pls, thank!

signed,

<your bestest friend3,

y/n

(p.s. you're kinda cute too,,,, ig,,, still stinkee tho)

[13/04/15, 9:04pm]

hey 'baby' (HAHAHA ihy for this)

i hope your day was okay! i didn't see much of you today (which was sort of a bummer but wtv) so like…. uh yea. you told me you were doing okay over text, which kinda surprised me because like?? we always video call lol this is kinda the first time,, but its okay, i trust you! (i really hope youre doing alright tho, i'll beat anyone up if they make you sad >:( ) you also called me 'sweetheart' today which was like…. omg wtf haha????????? that was so weird to me for some reason… a good kind of weird :D we haven't done those kinds of nicknames in a while so…. happy to know that they're back in session <3 i talked to the new girl today, she's really cool! like she knows the bean song on tiktok so like its a total win heh, ill introduce you to her tomorrow! you'll love her a lot

signed,

your 'lover',

y/n/n

[08/06/16, 10:23pm]

hey howl (hehe go back to that movie night we had)

this spring break sucks so much,, esp because youre not here (you still couldve brought me along :'[ ) but wtv i hope youre enjoying yourself. ive been hanging out with yeonnie lately and i found out she likes conan grey too like pls i love her sm. can we adopt her?? please???? she told me you guys have been video calling too and that makes me so happy!! you two are getting along so well aaa my precious babies </3 

what if you developed a crush on her? haha…..jk unless?? (no jk dont shes all mine, stay away >:) ) anyways, i hope the three of us hang out soon. maybe go to that ice cream parlour where they serve the best cookies and cream?  

signed,

your daisy,

y/n/n

[19/07/15, 01:23am]

peepee poopoo hello

heyheyhey!! (heh, haikyuu thingz) i hope youre doing okay! i mean sure you are, with everything going so well. also i feel like you're not telling me something. maybe it's just me? is it? i hope it is because you tell me everything,, we've been talking less these days but its okay! i know how busy you are, especially with your dad always bugging you,,

also, i think yeonbin likes you :0,, she keeps talking about you whenever we hang out. don't get me wrong, its not bad that she likes you but...something doesn't feel right. i feel like i'm being the third wheeler here and like ugh idk. haha laughs yea i think its just me.. im sorry, i didnt mean to do you like this,, anyways, ill see you soon + her too ofc- yall are inseparable lmao

signed,

your moonlight,

y/n/n

[23/07/15, 01:56am]

greetings, kind sir

lol more like mean sir but like aight KSKSK,, anyways,, how have you been? we haven't really talked in a while,, our convos are always so short with it being one-sided :/ i wish you were online more. yeonnie is ignoring me,, do you know why? i think you do,,, but when i asked you just said you didnt know. did i do something wrong? pls tell me.. 

she blocked my contact the other day and she won't even smile at me when i pass her in the hallways. its,, sad and stressful especially because she was the only one that would genuinely talk to me. i hate to say this,, but i miss you. us, hanging out like the best trio we are, yknow? but i dont think you miss me the same way. sorry, im getting out of hand. i know im just overreacting. im just gonna sleep ig,, good night! sweet dreams,,

signed,

your pink lemonade,

y/n/n

[25/07/15, 03:25am]

hi there

i heard you and her got together?? congrats, jinnie! im so proud of you,, especially because you never had even considered getting a girlfriend a few months earlier lmaO you really woo the ladies huh? anyways,, i hope you've been well since we last talked,, how many days has it been?? i would say nearly a week or so but honestly it feels like a hundred years,, considering you and i used to talk every day. but you have her now to keep you company.

keep this a secret but can you possibly tell me why it hurts when i see her? or when i mention her or even think of her?? is it because she's connected to you? but.. you're my best friend, so why? is it because i miss you? is it because im alone now? is it because you left me with a simple 'i have to go now,, bye y/n/n.'? im not sure either. im being silly, i apologize. ill figure it out sooner or later. sweet dreams, jinnie

signed,

your asswipe,

y/n

[25/07/15, 04:30am]

jinnie

it's because i love you. 

signed,

your butterfly,

y/n

[??/08/??, 05:??am]

you

i miss your lame jokes. i miss your smile. i miss your laughs. i miss your funny faces. i miss the way your eyes twinkle. i miss th way you would make me happy just by doing the bare minimum. i miss the disaster you made when cooking breakfast. i miss the night when you snuck me out just to go to that pretty lantern event. i miss when you would call out my name everytime we met. i miss when we would share earbuds in train rides. dont you get it, hyunjin? i miss you.

[??/??/15, ??:??am]

asshole.

please tell me that isn't true, please. you're too kind to do these kinds of things, right? + i was your best friend,, then, why, why did you hurt me like this. i didnt do anything wrong.. you couldve just told me you didnt like me,,, why did she have to tell me? out of all people. 

youre so pathetic for this,, i thought you were brave, bold - but youre just a fucking coward. i loved you, i really did. and i realised too late… im sorry. she,, i shouldn't have talked to her in the first place, right? i bet you knew she humiliated me, in front of everyone. of course you did, you were the only one that knew. you told her. fuck, i hate you so much (yet why do i long for you on a night like this?). you know how much that'll affect me and yet, there you are, laughing about it with her.

signed,

fuck off,

you know who i am.

[31/08/15, 03:41am]

ah, jinnie

please tell me this is just a nightmare. please, please. stop just reading my texts, please answer them. jinnie. i miss you so much. i dont care bout her, please just let me be in your arms. i dont care if you love me back, please just talk to me at least. tell me what i did wrong,, jinnie,, please,,, clear these tear stains on my cheek with kisses.

signed,

your fuck-up,

y/n

[15/09/15, 04:59am]

jinnie

why do i keep crying because of you? its been a few weeks since everything has happened. please, nothing has changed. i still love you the same even with all the hatred i have pent up in this stupid brain of mine. i wish i could just walk back in time, to where it all began.

when i first met you in third grade and you pushed me while playing soccer or maybe when we took those ridiculous prom pictures, remember those? i hope you still have them,, because i do too. i hope the pictures of us on your wall still hang there,, it'll remind you of the happy times. hm,, maybe you don't need them. 

you already have millions of pictures with you and her,, i bet you printed some and replaced those with ours right? sly dog. 

signed,

friend,

y/n/n

[04/02/16, 12:57am]

hey

i went to the park today and saw both of you being happy. it's nice to see your smile again. im sorry i didnt go up to you,, i just thought it would be awkward. when i heard that adorable laugh of yours, it made me realise that i lost something special. but it's okay isnt it? as your happiness matters more than mine. 

signed,

y/n

[06/01/20, 08:00pm]

dear hyunjin,

im doing fine here. how about you? gosh,, how long has it been? years? since we last talked to each other. i havent heard from you since. i would just like to say i still think of you sometimes, when watering the plants or dancing while making pancakes. sometimes i think you're here with me too, just being the pals we were. 

sometimes i'd see you out, just reading a book in the park or buying pasta sauce at the grocery store. it's nice to see you having a stable life. im not sure if you're still with her or not, but its good to know that you still have that large friend group. also! you're never gonna guess who im dating--

it's minho! do you remember him? the one that i used to hate,, uh yeah. he asked me out the other day- you may wonder how tf,,, i too do not know how tf but he gives the best hugs ever. he gave me the love i wanted from you. he stitched my heart back together after it broke,, i love him so much, jinnie..

it's snowing,, do you remember when we would skate on the frozen lake in front of your house? are your parents well? i wonder if your mother still has those earrings i bought for her birthday. i never told you this but your laugh and hers sound so similar. 

i would just like to say thank you, for everything. you were a big part of my life, up until now. when we see each other after this, we would just be strangers. maybe flash a little smile or give a little wave whenever we greet each other but nothing more. some memories of us would flow in every now and then but it'll just be a short teaser. well, i'll be going now. smile for me, okay?

signed,

the one that loved you the most,

y/n.

taglist // @/noya-sannnn, @crvgio​ , @neo-shitty​

reply to be in my gen taglist!

[macklives]

hey so this is gonna be a long-ish one. ive decided its been far too long since i did a session, and we did so many i can often forget what happened. i started in july and im pretty sure its been more than half a year now since this whole blog happened. and in that time, we’ve gone through 88 sessions and i want to know if i remember the relevant plot points and what we got up to in the last few sessions. a refresh/reminder if you would.

so i hereby commence my own little recap of act 5 because yeah no, its too much to do a recap of everything and i have andrew for that after every few acts. but i wanna refresh my mind on act 5 for now. so here we go.

1. alternia.. fucked up place. but its a place the trolls live on so what are we gonna do about it? overthrow the government? seems about right, lets do that with the next troll that gets introduced and if its not kanaya idk what andrew is doing by not having introduced the best troll yet. why the long wait? it was the second introduced? i honestly expected it to go in order when i first read act 5, because first we had karkat talk to jade which was the first new piece dialogue in the comic besides the main kids, but then we had kanaya with rose, which was followed by tavros, then terezi (iirc). so id assume we were following that order but nope karkat got fully introduced, then this random fucking juggalo called gamzee made its way into the comic. imagine my surprise.

2. theres been terminology throughout act 5, that i do not fucking know and will not remember and probably never will. like tf is a perigee again? i made a doc somewhere ill probably find it.

3. karkat’s introduction... short but very sweet. and by sweet i mean we got to know the depths of the angry edge lord. and by depths i mean karkat got angry at gamzee for typing in a way that he didnt like so he yapped like a chihuahua. nah, but seriously, i do like karkat tho, hes growing on me but only bc hes a bitch baby and his whole personality makes me want to mock him so thats the reason im not that annoyed and think hes funny, and the most harmless troll. even more so than tavros. and thats saying something. 7.5/10 bc im generous.

4. then gamzee... the high juggalo troll who has the worst typing quirk imo, i cannot for the life of me read it. but hes chill, i actually really like gamzee. hes funny and the least problematic as of right now. 8.5/10.

5. terezi’s introduction next i think. she likes playing as a lawyer with her stuffed dragons, ie by roleplay, shes blind, can see through licking, and she likes eating chalk, maybe its even nutritious. shes good. 9/10. 

6. uhh in the process of these intros, there are teams being made? karkat joins gamzee and terezi in, i THINK, the red team?? bc terezi likes red?? could be wrong, i dont remember the teams except that its red/blue to represent sollux’s duality in those colors. terezi then tries recruiting AC but AC is like lol sorry i have to ask this friend of mine who has authority over me for some goddamn reason and terezi goes yuck tf i hate that guy................... yeah thats all we have on the teams. pretty sure sollux had smth to do with karkat about the making of the leaders, and they did the “i hate me” and the “no i hate me more than u hate u” or whatever the fuck that was. they got embarrassed afterwards and deleted their messages. im pretty sure they have no messages because everything ends up being mutually deleted so their logs are actually empty. ngl, kinda enjoyed their convos, made me appreciate their characters. i hope we get more because its good content. i also dont know what order this whole thing is in, who contacted who first? couldnt tell you. ill remember later on. and since im basing this off from memory alone, gotta deal with what i remember. uhhhh so yeah. we havent met all characters yet so the teams have not been officially decided but we got the bases, which is that.

7. god i found it, and the only thing im looking at right now is the terminology list i made and what the fuck?? what the fuck?? you miss a few weeks and suddenly the word nubslurping comes up and you forget what the fuck youre reading.

8. im PRETTY SURE aradia is seen after that whole team fiasco?? or its sollux... maybe. wait. its sollux, right. i just knew someone gets introduced mid way through is all. actually, someone gets introduced after every 20 pages. i have no idea. but ik aradia and sollux go hand in hand.

9. oh shit. OH SHIT! RIGHT! I REMEMBER! so this occurs in the latest session i did, and not the beginning of act 5, but AG and aradia team up, right?? and sollux fucking gets manipulated by them and ??? idk??? they make him find the game, reprogram it and then make him believe its going to end the world (which in hindsight is true, but anyways) so he refuses to play it which was AG’s plan all along so she steps up and becomes leader in his place. but aradia says sollux will still play the game no matter what, but she never went through with the plan for AG but it was apart of a prophecy? that sollux wouldnt be the leader at all? that he’d still play? but it had to go according to plan so it could succeed??? we just dont know why yet. anyways, point being, she still cares for sollux since she did it for him rather than for AG. and thats what i recall. god tf i forgot about that whole drama until writing down “sollux and aradia go hand in hand” which gave me violent flashbacks to the memory.

10. oh and id give aradia 9/10 and sollux 7/10. i do like sollux but if i put him higher than karkat, id get crucified. so im keeping them around the same.

11. man i really like sollux and aradia tho, i may have put him at 7, but i really like their dynamic and i really hope they make up and aradia explains herself about AG. because from one side it looks shitty. and while sollux is rude and never makes up his mind, he apologized to aradia after going off, and that was the only time ive seen him be sincere, so im pretty sure he cares for her to some extent. and i think its somewhat mutual? considering the whole “did it for him” thing. man, i see potential because i actually like both their characters. theyre well written. may not have the best personalities, but i appreciate well written characters and homestuck has the best ones ive seen in a while.

12. oh shit, hell yeah, the more i write, the more im connecting the dots and remembering. however, the more i write, the more i want to just make an analogy post but thats not for now. jesus christ its not all about analogies, mack, this is a recap. but.. how does andrew do it? to not go off track??? hard. telling ya.

13. anyways, didnt we break the fourth wall at some point and have the demon gods or whatever the fuck speak to us in third person for the first time in the comic, after having only gone into second person narrative, right after we were introduced to sollux and his “virus”? the uh, the phrase “the demon was already here” was said, or something along those lines. first line in homestuck to give me the creeps ngl and i appreciate it bc it gives me motivation to know what the fuck its about. its cool bc you have no idea where its going and it sure doesnt have anything to do with the current plot, since the trolls’ session/game doesnt have fucking demons so im curious as to what the fuck that was about. and if i really have to make a theory, i feel it has something to do with aradia’s voices in her head which also connect to the gods rose heard when she started disregarding rules and told dave to look at derse without listening to music bc it was as if he was purposely blocking away their calls. like holy shit, that gave me the shivers. while i do want to know more about wtf happens after act 4, trolls are taking priority right now. just like we did with the intermission. no discussing the kids unless necessary. treat this as its own separate comic. and THEN we can connect.

14. ANYWAYS, tavros’ intro???? that comes afterwards?? with the fiduspawn that made me gag a little on the inside? yep. remember that. fuck that lol. -1/10 but tavros himself is MAYBE a 6/10? i wish we explored his character more in his intro bc right now he just looks like a character made only to be a victim rather than have any depth and i feel thats robbing someone of their full potential. give me more personality andrew, rather than a quivering boy who falls prey to bitches. im expecting more throughout the comic honestly and i hope he gets growth so hes not looked as a “victim” but rather his own character. he is still sweet, and i like him because i want to protect him, but id rather have more info, you know what i mean?

15. oh hell. kanaya had a chainsaw at some point. that made me happy. and didnt she cut off tavros’ legs?? and he got robot ones? and some creepy dude was looking and we called him saggy tits bc hes sagittarius? right? neat. that did happen. pretty sure saggy tits is ACs friend that tells her what to do. the more u know. OH and they all have colored blood similar to their text colors lol. that i remember... so tavros has brown, terezi has blueish green, um. karkat has grey the loser. and apparently it forms a rainbow which is nice. rainbow is good.

16. i dont remember anything else actually

17. wait no i do. AG appeared. shes a petty bully. idk what to say about her. we didnt get that much, except that she hates tavros but is okay with aradia. she also looks like a bottle opener. actually, i think she teamed with aradia to gain leadership rather than to “be friends”. and while that is similar to how karkat did it, meaning the gain, the motivation and how they earned it is entirely different. kinda seeing a trend tho. the leaders of the red/blue teams are both characters who wanted the role, but never had it to begin with. only to win their way into the position. but rather than ask non-stop like karkat did, AG manipulated others so she could be successful. not too sure if she also used aradia for that, or is actually motivated to become friends since they were “past enemies” and she needed a rebound. pretty sure its somewhat both. while AG did mostly use aradia to speak with sollux, what she doesnt know is that aradia is a bad bitch who never even thought about AG and only followed through with the plan bc she had a plan of her own. i guess we’ll look into that later. i lowkey want to know their history.

18. OH AC!!! she appeared for a second as well. love her. shes amazing. 9.5/10. and you may ask yourself, why am i saying “i love this character” but none of them are 10/10?? weellllll its because, and i cant stress this enough, 10/10 belongs to kanaya, i dont make the rules. im waiting for her introduction, shes my favorite and its obvious. sorry.

19. oh huh seems i forgot about the term “lusus”. which.. is.. their parents but not really, its these fucking weird ass creatures that the trolls fought in a cave or something as a child. i dont fucking know. terezi hatched hers and it died? gamzee’s also died but his goat sea dad was never really there to begin with so while it is sad, its more sad that gamzee never saw him? um.. karkat killed his own by exploding his computer bc sollux said dont run the virus and karkat said u cant tell me what to do and did it anyways. so thats on him. but apparently theyre supposed to die, to become prototyped during the game, right? yeah. i remember now.

20. thats.. about it? idk anything else, nothing is coming back to me apart from the shit above. huh.... im surprised how quickly things do come back to you the moment you rant about the plot tho.... handy trick.

cool. neat. fun. this took me too long. but im glad i remember a little bit.

[badwolfwrites-sometimes]

Drawn Together: Chapter 14

Happy birthday to Veneziano and Romano!

Three months passed, the friendship between Feliciano and Ludwig now as strong as steel. Yet, something has been bothering Feliciano about it.

Artisloveandlife: Do you think its strange how we ve been friends this long but we havent even seen each others faces

By now, Feliciano was also used to Ludwig's fast responses, even if he did scold him occasionally for it.

Artisloveandlife: People will think you re desperate

Lutzie71: Do you think I am desperate, Feliciano?

Artisloveandlife: Well no but others might

Lutzie71: I am only talking to you. Others don't matter now

Artisloveandlife: I dont think you understand how romantic that sounds

Lutzie71: It is just your mind

Point was, Feliciano was used to Ludwig's way of texting. From his perfect grammar to extreme time punctuation, but Feliciano liked him that way.

Lutzie71: I don't think it is all that unusual Lutzie71: There are people who enter relationships online, but have never seen each other  Lutzie71: On the contrary, I would call it an internet phenomenon

Artisloveandlife: Hmm Artisloveandlife: I guess your right Artisloveandlife: But i really wanna see your face Artisloveandlife: I bet you look super cute

Lutzie71: You're* Lutzie71: I don't see why not Lutzie71: But I want to see your face as well Lutzie71: It is only fair

Artisloveandlife: Deal Artisloveandlife: Show yourself warrior

*Lutzie71 has sent a picture*

Artisloveandlife: Wow you look like a viking Artisloveandlife: Are you a viking in secret Ludwig

Lutzie71: No, but I do have relatives in Scandinavia Lutzie71: Most people tell me I am scary at first, this is new

Artisloveandlife: Well you are kinda scary but i live with lovi Artisloveandlife: Nothing beats that

Lutzie71: That is reassuring Lutzie71: Now, a deal is a deal

Artisloveandlife: Wait im looking for the perfect lighting

*Artisloveandlife has sent a picture, half an hour later*

Artisloveandlife: I know it took me a while dont complain Artisloveandlife: Feat gino cuz we re cute

Lutzie71: I can't deny that Lutzie71: Gino steals the spotlight, but you aren't that bad yourself

Artisloveandlife: Very funny Artisloveandlife: Theres something else bothering me Artisloveandlife: Can you shorten you arent to yourent

Lutzie71: Feliciano, why Lutzie71: Let us go back to talking about pictures Lutzie71: I love the background in your picture

Artisloveandlife: Thanks Artisloveandlife: Its the view from my window on the adriatic sea Artisloveandlife: That painting i made for alice and otto was supposed to be of the adriatic but i messed up

Lutzie71: I still think it turned out perfect

Artisloveandlife: Thanks even tho you say that every time Artisloveandlife: Whats that behind you tho

Lutzie71: It is my brothers room and that is his poster of some metal band whose name I can't decipher Lutzie71: The letters are too bloody

Artisloveandlife: Can i see them

Lutzie71: Sure

*Lutzie71 has sent a picture*

Artisloveandlife: Thats slipknot

Lutzie71: That was fast

Artisloveandlife: Its art so Artisloveandlife: I can read anything

Lutzie71: I am impressed Lutzie71: I haven't asked today how are you? How is the situation with your family?

Artisloveandlife: Pretty good meo has midterms now and is freaking out and lovi is doing good Artisloveandlife: He found a better job and he seems to like it Artisloveandlife: And gino and pookie are as amazing as always im pretty sure pookie found a gf

Lutzie71: That is cute Lutzie71: My dogs are splendid as well

Artisloveandlife: And gil

Lutzie71: Annoying me

Artisloveandlife: Like a good big brother

Lutzie71: You could say Lutzie71: I hope you don't mind but I showed him your picture Lutzie71: He says you are cute and that he would like to go out with you one day

Artisloveandlife: Gil is str8forward Artisloveandlife: I cant date you gil you re too far away and i need cuddles

Lutzie71: You have broken his heart Lutzie71: Good job Feliciano

Artisloveandlife: Ill take that as a compliment

Lutzie71: Fine by me Lutzie71: He is crying now Lutzie71: Drama queen

Artisloveandlife: Gil could act in an opera show

Lutzie71: He has 0 talent for singing though

Artisloveandlife: Savage Artisloveandlife: Hey Ludwig Artisloveandlife: Its getting kinda difficult to talk on tumblr Artisloveandlife: I stopped getting your messages normally Artisloveandlife: Are you fine with switching to whatsapp or something

This time, Ludwig didn't respond as quickly as he usually would. His message came 20 minutes late.

Lutzie71: This feels like a good time to reveal Betty's secret Lutzie71: She actually gave me your number despite you saying no Lutzie71: She said it is all about the yaois and left

Artisloveandlife: Im  Artisloveandlife: Im going to kill her but before that thank you for being a good human being Ludwig Artisloveandlife: Unlike someone Artisloveandlife: You can send me a text then but i might not respond immediately im probably yelling at her

A couple of minutes later, as Feliciano was angrily texting Elizabeta hate messages, a message came from an unknown number. All that was written in it was Skree skree. Even after the whole situation with Lovino and Grandpa Rome was halfway resolved, Ludwig and Feliciano kept their pigeon talk, leading Feliciano to know exactly who it was.

♡~Feli~♡: Hi Ludwig

Ludwig: Hello Feliciano

♡~Feli~♡: I was just texting Lizzie how much i hate her how are you doin

Ludwig: Pretty alright Ludwig: She is reading me your texts at the couch Ludwig: I didn't know you were so vulgar

♡~Feli~♡: Yeah well i was really angry and she deserved it ♡~Feli~♡: I got it from my brother

Ludwig: I have never met them, but Betty tells me that Romeo is cute and Lovino is a prick Ludwig: Her words, not mine

♡~Feli~♡: Shes not that far from the truth ♡~Feli~♡: Although we all know im the cutest one ♡~Feli~♡: Do you want to meet my brothers

Ludwig: Someday yes

♡~Feli~♡: Okay

Feliciano pressed the camera button on the edge of his screen, calling Ludwig for a video call. It was either bad connection or Ludwig's anxiety that led to several attempts of this action before they finally managed to contact each other.

Feliciano smiled at his screen, Ludwig was going to hear his voice for the first time ever and he was going to hear his. "Hello!" He said, a bit higher than he wanted it to come out.

Ludwig looked around, nervous at this new way of talking, before finally responding in his natural voice. "Hello, Feliziano."

It was no secret that Feliciano cringed at the way Ludwig pronounced his name, but he mostly blamed it on the bad sound quality. "Your voice is so deep, please tell me a Kraken is not going to come out of your mouth. Also, that's not how you pronounce my name."

Ludwig tried his best to hide a smile forming at the corner if his lips, but Feliciano saw right through his pixelated face. "There are no Krakens in my mouth. If there were any, it is being digested right now."

"Oh, thank God." Feliciano laughed.

"You didn't tell me how to pronounce your name." Ludwig commented.

"It's a hard c, not a z. You're not saying Venezia, you're saying, uh..." Feliciano took a moment to look for comparisons. "Alice!"

"Feliciano." Ludwig tried saying it again.

"Much better."

"So, the same rules apply for i as they do for e?"

"Yes. But only if they come after c or g. And if you put h in between, then they are pronounced normally. C is k and g is g, like parcheggio." Feliciano explained.

"I see. What does parcheggio mean?" Ludwig asked.

"Parking lot." Feliciano said. "But that's not why I called."

"I quite enjoyed this conversation." Ludwig smiled.

"Of course you did. By the way, you're very cute when you smile. Now, do you wanna meet my brothers?" Feliciano asked.

Ludwig ignored the comment on his smiling face, avoiding the blush that would have otherwise be very obvious. "Why not."

"Okay. I'll give you a tour of the house while I find them." Feliciano said, getting up from his bed and showing Ludwig his room. "This is my room. If you can't tell it apart from all other rooms, mine has the best view. Remember that."

"Alright." Ludwig answered.

Feliciano exited his room and made his way down the stairs to the living room. "Our house should be a hotel." He said and Ludwig laughed. It really did have a lot of stairs.

When he was finally on the living room stairs, Feliciano spotted Lovino and Antonio on the couch, cuddling. "Hi, Toni!" He greeted.

Antonio waved at him and Lovino just looked at him, annoyed that his fun was ruined. Feliciano directed his attention back to Ludwig. "You get to meet Toni today as well. Lucky you, Luddy!" He said and jumped on the couch, separating Lovino and Antonio.

"Okay so, Ludwig, this is Lovi." Feliciano said, showing the phone to Lovino so Ludwig could see him better. "Lovi, this is Ludwig. He's my friend."

Lovino took a moment to take in Ludwig's appearance. "Feli." He called. "Why does that potato have hair?"

Feliciano was just about to tell him off, but Ludwig interrupted them. "When you leave a potato too long underground, it develops hair." Ludwig held back his laugh.

Lovino scoffed. "Well, aren't you a smartass."

"It is nice to meet you too, Lovino." Ludwig said.

"Fun fact. It's mine and Lovi's birthday soon. We were born on the same day two years apart." Feliciano chimed in.

"Best. Birthday present. Ever." Lovino said, Ludwig noted the sarcasm in his voice.

"And Meo was born in June. He betrayed us." Feliciano continued and moved his phone away from Lovino, towards Antonio.

Antonio offered Ludwig a big bright smile. "Hello!"

Ludwig was just about to answer, but Feliciano decided that wasn't going to happen today. "This is Toni. He's Lovi's boyfriend and we might have interrupted one of their make out sessions now."

"Don't worry about it, Feli. Nice to meet you, Ludwig." Antonio said, patting Feliciano's hair.

"Nice to meet you as well." Ludwig smiled. "I must say, you look rather familiar. Have you been to Germany before?"

"No. But I have a friend there. I met him when he got really drunk here in Italy." Antonio shook his head.

"That sounds like something my brother would do." As if he was summoned, a voice which probably belonged to Ludwig's brother chimed in.

"What is this gossip about the awesome me?" Another figure appeared behind Ludwig, with platinum white hair and piercing red eyes. A large smirk was glued on his face when he saw Feliciano on the phone, but it immediately turned to something less seductive when he noticed the person next to Feliciano.

Gilbert grabbed the phone from Ludwig's hands and took a closer look. "Toni!?" He asked.

Antonio's eyes went wide. Following Gilbert's reaction, he snatched the phone away from Feliciano and smiled. "Gil!"

Feliciano and Lovino were both watching their reactions. What in the world just happened? Neither knew the answer.

Gilbert continued. "What the hell are you doing there?"

"Feli is my friend. I had no idea he was friends with your brother! It's so nice to see you again, Gil!" Antonio answered.

"The world is too small for the awesome me. Still, I can't believe I'm seeing you there of all people." Gilbert shook his head like a grandpa.

Feliciano let the two of them talk for a little while more before joining Antonio on the screen. Gilbert smirked again when he saw him. "I'm glad you two got to talk it all out, but can I have Ludwig back please?" Feliciano asked.

Gilbert made a wounded expression at Feliciano's words. "Toni, call me." He said, making a phone gesture by his ear before passing the phone to Ludwig.

Ludwig just stared at Feliciano confused. "I have no idea what just happened."

"Me neither, but I'm glad they get along." Feliciano said. "Ready to meet Meo?"

Ludwig nodded and spotted his brother talking on the phone to someone. Judging by the voice he heard in the background from Feliciano, he suspected he was back to talking to Antonio. Feliciano's brother was sure to kill him now.

Feliciano walked back up the stairs to a dark hallway, at the end of it was a smaller room which Feliciano opened. However, instead of being met with light from the outside, he was met with more darkness and some tears. "Meo?" He called.

"Hm?" Came a sniffling answer.

"Midterms?" Feliciano asked.

"Yup."

"Can you talk now? I want to introduce you to my friend."

"Okay. Gimme a second." There was a shuffling sound and soon Romeo was up and smiling and Feliciano turned on the lights.

He walked towards Romeo's bed and sat on it, showing him Ludwig. "Meo, this is my friend Ludwig. Ludwig, this is Romeo. He's the youngest."

"Why you gotta rub it in my face? Nice to meet you, Ludwig. Don't listen to this guy, whatever he tells you about me, it's all lies." Romeo smiled.

Ludwig returned the gesture. "So, your name isn't Romeo and you're not the youngest?"

"Is that really all you have to say about me?" Romeo commented, pinching Feliciano.

"Ow! That's a good enough introduction, what do you want from me?" Feliciano said, caressing his wound from being pinched.

"My apologies. He did tell me more, but it didn't seem relevant." Ludwig said. "You're majoring in Chemistry, right? Good luck with your midterms."

"Yeah. They are a disaster, but I love blowing things up more." Romeo laughed.

"You are just like my brother." Ludwig said.

"I think we should leave now, Ludwig. Let Meo suffer in his pain." Feliciano said, smirking. This was revenge for pinching him before.

"Alright. Goodbye, Romeo. Good luck once again." Ludwig said and Feliciano took off, sticking out his tongue for Romeo, earning himself a middle finger up from Romeo.

The rest of the day, Feliciano and Ludwig spent just talking to each other. Elizabeta and her husband Roderich joined them briefly as well as Gilbert, but they mostly talked between themselves. Ludwig talked quite a lot about his dogs and Feliciano couldn't help his smile when he did. Ludwig was absolutely glowing when he talked about his dogs.

"Do you want to talk like this tomorrow again?" Feliciano asked. The clock on his wall showing that it was already well past midnight.

"Sure, I don't mind. If it is just the two of us." Ludwig said.

"Just the two of us then." Feliciano smiled. "Good night, Ludwig."

"Good night, Feliciano." Ludwig said and Feliciano broke the call. He voted the call as excellent and shut down his phone, his battery giving up on life as he did.

Feliciano laid down in his bed, thinking about what an eventful day it was. He recited some of the conversations between himself and Ludwig before falling asleep with a smile on his face.

[greymuse]

Witchy QnA

1. Are you solitary or in a coven?

Solitary!

2. Do you consider yourself Wiccan, Pagan, witch, or other?

Witch, or Enchantress if I wanna sound fancy

3. What is your zodiac sign?

Leo sun, Aquarius moon, Leo rising

4. Do you have a Patron God/dess?

Nope

5. Do you work with a Pantheon?

Nope

6. Do you use tarot, palmistry, or any other kind of divination?

Tarot sometimes

7. What are some of your favorite herbs to use in your practice? (if any)

Im just starting to get into more physical items. I was raised to do most things mentally.

8. How would you define your craft?

Im not sure? Green but a lil eclectic

9. Do you curse? If not, do you accept others who do?

I dont think of it as cursing. More so protection from certain people.

10. How long have you been practicing?

I found out about what I was already doing as being Witchcraft a couple months ago. But Ive been using Tarot, using kitchen Witch spells, as “prayers” as spells since I can remember

11. Do you currently or have you ever had any familiars?

Nope. I hope to have one soon though

12. Do you believe in Karma or
Reincarnation?

Absolutely believe in karma. Reincarnation, possibly. Its definitely something I think about

13. Do you have a magical name?

Nope.

14. Are you “out of the broom closet”?

My whole moms side practices casually, so I mean I guess? But I havent referred to  myself as a Witch or something like that.

15. What was the last spell you performed?

I enchanted a ring I got. Also, a money spell that worked but uhh its definitely showing me that I need to work harder.

16. Would you consider yourself knowledgeable?

Im pretty decent. Most of what I look up is common knowledge to me

17. Do you write your own spells?

I havent yet, but I also dont do many spells verbally. I more so visually manifest

18. Do you have a book of shadows? If so, how is it written and/or set up?

I do, Its just a plain lil notebook, I have just some basic reference sheet type things in it.

19. Do you worship nature?

Absolutely

20. What is your favorite gemstone?

rose quartz. or tigers eye

21. Do you use feathers, claws, fur, pelt, skeletons/bones, or any other animal body part for magical work?

I dont particularly enjoy using animal/ human materials. I use natural things, like dirt and water.

  22. Do you have an altar?

Not so much a physical Altar, but my bed is definitely my safe space and I can clear my mind here the easiest.

23. What is your preferred element?

Water, but fire always make me wide eyed and curious. definitely curious. but its destructive potential scares me.

24. Do you consider yourself an Alchemist?

Not art all haha

25. Are you any other type of magical practitioner besides a witch?

Im not sure!

26. What got you interested in witchcraft?

realizing that I had been practicing for my whole life and I hadnt known before

27. Have you ever performed a spell or ritual with the company of anyone who was not a witch?

yeah, with my mom and her mom. I just didnt know at the time. We do protection spells often.

28. Have you ever used ouija?

yup! with my mom and her mom. Its just a family thing we do every time we all get together. I grew up thinking it was completely normal.

29. Do you consider yourself a psychic?

My mom says I used to be. I used to dream about natural disasters before they happened as a kid. I dont think im too good anymore. just empathetic.

30. Do you have a spirit guide? If so, what is it?

I dont think I do. If anything, I do feel a feminine energy? dark (like a shadow, not negative) and watery is the best way I can describe it. But its not a human  entity. Just energy.

31. What is something you wish someone had told you when you first started?

That not everyone believes what you do. And its totally okay! Just maybe dont loudly announce your Ouija board antics with your science teacher in middle school.

32. Do you celebrate the Sabbats? If so which one is your favorite?

I havent before, but im going to try to this year

33. Would you ever teach witchcraft to your children?

Absolutely. I want my son to grow up the same way I did around magick. Itll be normal for him.

34. Do you meditate?

Sometimes! its definitely something im trying to do more often.

35. What is your favorite season?

Fall and Spring! Theres so much change

36. What is your favorite type of magick to preform?

Im not sure yet! Ive only just started branching out and actually considering what ive been doing all my life as magick.

37. How do you incorporate your spirituality into your daily life?

Daily affirmations/ protection spells, I manifest me and my sons happiness and safety every day.

38. What is your favorite witchy movie?

I dont think Ive seen any haha

39. What is your favorite witchy book, both fiction and non-fiction. Why?

The Darkest Powers books by Kelly Armstrong. More supernatural (vampires, werewolves, stuff like that) but I loved it growing up.

40. What is the first spell you ever preformed? Successful or not.

Knowingly, a protection spell from someone who had hurt me

41. What’s the craziest witchcraft-related thing that’s happened to you?

Im not sure! I can see auras if i really focus and can tune into someone, so maybe when i saw a family member with a pure black aura? That was freaky

42. What is your favourite type of candle to use?

I dont use candles! Bonfires or fires in fireplaces usually, to burn a paper if needed. Again, I dont  trust myself with fire very much.

43. What is your favorite witchy tool?

My crystals and my tarot. They all have vibrations. Everything does but especially those, because im so connected to them

44. Do you or have you ever made your own witchy tools?

I want to!  Havent yet

45. Have you ever worked with any magical creatures such as the fea or spirits?

Spirits, yes. I can call on family that Ive known in person for protection. Been doing that as long as i can remember

46. Do you practice color magic?

I used to! i dont really anymore. 

47. Do you or have you ever had a witchy teacher or mentor of any kind?

My mom, aunt, and grandma! 

48. What is your preferred way of shopping for witchcraft supplies?

Dollar store, thrift store, antique stores (though im always hesitant to use something that belonged to someone else. If there isnt a close emotional attachment, there wont be any noticeable vibrations.

49. Do you believe in predestination or fate?

I think theres a general way that things can happen. More like a decide your fate book. There are multiple options, it just depends on what you choose.

50. What do you do to reconnect when you are feeling out of touch with your practice?

Meditate, or go to the lake.

51. Have you ever had any supernatural experiences?

ohhhh boy. I got stories.

52. What is your biggest witchy pet peeve?

People thinking theyre better bc they have a crap ton of materials, thinking im less than because I visualize easier than with material items.

53. Do you like incense? If so what’s your favorite scent?

I do, I just cant very often. I have a child and very smell sensitive people livingg with me

54. Do you keep a dream journal of any kind?

I rarely ever remember a dream, so no

55. What has been your biggest witchcraft disaster?

Im not sure ive had one yet

56. What has been your biggest witchcraft success?

I havent seen who i dont want to see since protecting myself

57. What in your practice do you do that you may feel silly or embarrassed about?

 Everything, haha. I think thats why I enjoy visualizing instead of rituals or verbal stuff.

58. Do you believe that you can be an atheist, Christian, Muslim or some other faith and still be a witch too?

Absolutely!

59. Do you ever feel insecure, unsure or even scared of spell work?

yes, I feel like it //can be// kinda like a genie in a bottle type thing. Itll work, but not without a price.

60. Do you ever hold yourself to a standard in your witchcraft that you feel you may never obtain?

Nope

61. What is something witch related that you want right now?

A cauldron to mix and burn things in haha

62. What is your rune of choice?

I dont know yet! Runes are something Im looking into

63. What is your tarot card of choice?

My birth card, the Tower.

64. Do you use essential oils? If so what is your favorite?

I love lemon and eucalyptus 

65. Have you ever taken any kind of witchcraft or pagan courses?

nope!

66. Do you wear pagan jewelry in public?

Nope

67. Have you ever been discriminated against because of your faith or being a witch?

No one that would feel that way knows anything about it

68. Do you read or subscribe to any pagan magazines?

nope

69. Do you think it’s important to know the history of paganism and witchcraft?

Yes. Its like knowing world history and us history, We need to learn from the past.

70. What are your favorite things about being a witch?

I feel powerful, and connected and accepted by nature.

71. What are your least favorite things about being a witch?

having to tiptoe around things around certain people

72. Do you listen to any pagan music? If so who is your favorite singer/band?

Nope! ill have to look into it

73. Do you celebrate the Esbbats? If so, how?

I havent fully figured out what i want to do for the moon cycles yet, but I definitely want to. the moon and water are so closely related

74. Do you ever work skyclad?

No, but i mean.. maybe one day?

75. Do you think witchcraft has improved your life? If so, how?

I feel like i have more control of how im able to use my emotions and feelings

76. Where do you draw inspiration from for your practice?

The energy i talked about before.. It gets more intense and stronger sometimes, and i know i need to put more time and effort into my practice

77. Do you believe in ‘fantasy’ creatures? (Unicorns, fairies, elves, gnomes, ghosts, etc)

no, but i do believe in energy. not ghosts per say but definitely energy

78. What’s your favorite sigil/symbol?

I try to make most of them myself. I have one for protection while driving that i use for me and my boyfriend a lot. And one for the safety of my son.

79. Do you use blood magick in your practice? Why or why not?

Not as of right now. I did bleed onto my tarot cards on accident though..

80. Could you ever be in a relationship with someone who doesn’t support your practice?

Theres a difference  between “doesnt understand and doesnt care to” and “fully doest support and refuses to let you practice safely”. I dont mind the first, but wouldnt stay with the second.

81. In what area or subject would you most like your craft to grow?

Reading auras, and tarot. Also just connecting with nature more

82. What’s your favorite candle scent? Do you use it in your practice?

I love fall scents! but no, i dont really use candles

83. Do you have a pre-ritual ritual? (I.e. Something you do before rituals to prepare yourself for them). If so what is it?

Meditate and protect

84. What real life witch most inspires your practice?

My mom honestly lmao. i dont think she views herself as a full witch though.And my aunt

85. What is your favorite method of communicating with deity?

I dont worship dieties. But i like to just be in natural and connect emotionally, nonverbally to this energy Im somehow connected with.

86. How do you like to organize all your witchy items and ingredients?

In this lil wooden box my mom gave me for my birthday to hold the tarot cards my grandma gave me haha.

87. Do you have any witches in your family that you know of?

my mom. aunt, and grandma. I know my grandpas grandma was a voodoo witch too.

  88. How have you created your path? What is unique about it?

I havent seen much about nonverbal, mostly mental witchcraft. So i guess  thats one unique thing.

89. Do you feel you have any natural gifts or affinities (premonitions, hearing spirits, etc.) that led you toward the craft? If so what are they?

A couple things. Feeling vibrations, the connection to nature, auras, growing up surrounded by it.

90. Do you believe you can initiate yourself or do you have to be initiated by another witch or coven?

I believe you can initiate yourself. I dont feel the need for someone elses validation is i know my connection with nature is real

91. When you first started out in your path what was the first thing or things you bought?

crystals, lmao

92. What is the most spiritual or magickal place you’ve been?

The southern oregon coast. honestly everywhere in oregon feels so alive and vibrating so heavily with energy. The water and the lush greenery is perfection.

93. What’s one piece of advice you’d give someone who is searching for their matron and patron deities?

I have no idea, I dont follow a deity

94. What techniques do you use to ‘get in the zone’ for meditation?

quiet, listen to music i like and that help calm me, slightly cool, a breeze is good. the sound of real water flowing from a lake or ocean. recordings of water dont help me. sometimes white noise if theres too much noise

95. Did visualization come easily to you or did you have to practice at it?

visualization is the easiest thing for me. ive always daydreamed so heavily that itll be like im dreaming with my eyes totally open and tracking. 

  96. Do you prefer day or night? Why?

early mornings, right as the sun is coming up.

97. What do you think is the best time and place to do spell work?

I like doing spell work before bed, when the moon is bright enough to light up what im doing

98. How did you feel when you cast your first circle? Did you stumble or did it go smoothly?

I dont know if it counts as casting a circle? but i visualize a swirling white ball of energy, starting out like a strawberry size in my hands, and every time i breath in, it gets bigger. Its a protection circle. i learned to do it at like?? 3 years old?

99. Do you believe witchcraft gets easier with time and practice?

Yup!

100. Do you believe in many gods or one God with many faces?

If i had to guess, id say multiple gods/ goddesses. one entity shouldnt have that much power imo.

101. Do you eat meat, eggs and dairy?

Ive been trying to go vegetarian, and i eat minimal eggs and dairy.

102. What is your favorite color and why?

dark, smokey colors. grey, black, dark muted purples, navy, smoky pink.

103. What is the one question you get asked most by non-practitioners or non-pagans? How do you usually respond?

I dont have many people im even slightly into that stuff, let alone a witch. So usually just “how do i cleanse my house? i think its haunted” type stuff

104. Which of your five senses would you say is your strongest?

Feel, haha, physically and emotionally.

105. What is a pagan or witchcraft rule that you preach but don’t practice?

Always properly cleanse new materials, haha

[daedalusdavinci]

welp, lets do this. 1, 5, 7, 10,, 23, 14, 15, qne 12. this could be for dc but u can choose any fandom u want <3

aldksjdnfsjdnfs jesus ok lemme ust copy the entire post here

send me a salty ask (if there are any left to send)

What OTPs in your fandom(s) do you just not get?

you said dc so ill say in the circles ive found myself in i simply do not get dickb*bs, dickr*y, or j*ykyle. i kind of hate dickb*bs? maybe i havent read enough comics w them, but idk, i just dont like it. d*ckroy is like. i read outsiders, and i just didnt see it, im sorry. the most ive ever liked them was in the teen titans animated show. i want to like j*ykyle and ive liked a lot of the stuff ive seen on tumblr, but i think i just like them as like homoerotic enemies type of dynamic and not as like, the gushy sweet stuff most people tend to write about them. ALSO scr*ddler. i dont get scr*ddler at all im just not sure what people like about it??

but idk like ive said i havent read that many comics yet and it could just be bc of that!!

5. Has fandom ever ruined a pairing for you?

answered!

7. Is there anything you used to like but can’t stand now?

yeah lol. less so w other fandoms but within the hs fandom there are a lot of things that just arent any fun anymore. to give a milder example i used to rlly like feferi and gamzee and a couple other various characters but i dont rlly like them anymore bc of how ppl talk abt them in fandom spaces

10. Most disliked arc? Why?

i hate hate hate the scarlet arc for jasons preboot run. i HATE scarlet. the whole thing is such a mess i mean youve got whatever the fuck was up w jasons hair youve got the pillhead youve got pr*f p*g (censored bc i hate him and not bc of tags) i mean its just generally like one of my least favorite jason comics ever written. they also literally retcon scarlets backstory the second time she appears. like IMMEDIATE retcon its so fucking stupid i hate it

12. Is there an unpopular arc that you like that the fandom doesn’t? Why?

ive heard that a lot of people dont like hush for riddler, but its genuinely one of my favorite comics for him. i feel like it really showcases his brilliance and the way how he challenges batman on an intellectual level thats really interesting and a little darker in a way that i actually enjoyed! it feels very holmes/moriarty and i love them when theyre like that

14. Unpopular opinion about your fandom?

the batman fandom and the hs fandom hate themselves so much there arent rlly any hot takes lmfao. but the pjo fandom is ridiculously ableist and no one talks about it

15. Unpopular opinion about the manga/show?

i liked hs2 and the epilogues and thats about as unpopular as it gets in terms of homestuck opinions

23. Unpopular character you love?

umm lol. hs and batman again are like. every characters got a fan following so theres not rlly anything unpopular to like there. but pjo its definitely alabaster omg. hes niche for sure but i looooved him i was obsessed shoutout to the n*cobaster gang we were delusional but we were so sexy

[j-hyvn]

Reaction to You Having a Night Terror. . .

!! WARNING !! This is about paranoia, trauma and themes of being mentally ill, so please DO NOT READ FURTHER is you are UNCOMFORTABLE with topics such as these. Sending love, protection and happiness. <3

Anonymous said: Hey! I would like to have a reaction for BTS where their girlfriend is mentally ill and has paranoia and at nights she often thinks that spiders are walking on her skin. Im sorry that this is so weird but I personally struggle with mental illnesses in everyday life like paranoia and I havent seen a reaction for anything like this yet so I decided to give it a go! Also If this accidentally came public ask i would like to stay anon! Thank u! ♡

Reaction to You Having a Night Terror. . .

A/N honestly this was hard for me because i’ve never been in a situation like this before. i don’t have paranoia or know anyone who does, so i don’t know what it feels like or how one should respond to this. so i hope i’ve written this how you would want Anonie, but please tell me if it isn’t and i can try to fix it in the way you would want, or if i get something wrong. thank you for opening up and asking something so personal. that really means a lot, and i feel so honored to reply to something like this for the first time for you. i’ll put a lot of love and effort in it for you! <3 and yes you were in Anonymous, so no worries. :)

Kai Eonni ~ <3 <3

Namjoon. . .

He would sleeping next to you when suddenly he hears you whimpering beside him. He would know what was happening because you two had talked about it earlier on in the relationship. Him wanting to know everything about you and wanting to have an honest and open relationship. He would gently rub your head, trying to give you a comforting touch without startling you. Once you were awake, he would hold you firmly in his arms, talking gently into your ear, ushering you into a sweet and safe sleep.

(Rap Mon talking to you about his day, his likes and dislikes, anything, until you fall asleep)

Jin. . .

He would turn to see you crying softly and immediately know you were having something like a nightmare. So he would ask what you were dreaming about. Once you told him he would hug you gently, turn on a low light, barely illuminating the room. After he was sure you were okay, he would get up and go the kitchen to make you some sweet herbal tea and a snack. When he got back with the tray holding your tea and snacks he would cuddle up next to you again saying, “Food always helps. Enjoy Jagi.” While kissing your forehead.

Yoongi. . .

He would know about sleepless nights or nights filled with nightmares. He’s been through his own, and would know how frightening they can be. It would make him sad to know that you’re going through that as well. He would do anything in his power to prevent them, even if that meant giving up his own sleep. He would have you talk to him about them, knowing that talking can help let out stress. He would hold you close in bed and gently whisper your favorite song to you until you both fall asleep. If you were to wake up in the middle of the night, he claiming you felt something on you, he would (non sexually) rub his hands along your arms and legs, repeating, “You’re okay babe, there’s nothing. It’s just in your head. Come back to me, listen to my voice okay?” Once you calmed down, he would remind you how much he loves you.

J-Hope. . .

He wouldn’t really know what to do for you. He would want to do anything in his power to help you on your sleepless nights, but he wouldn’t really know what to do, and would be too scared to make them worse. However, he would talk to either Namjoon or Yoongi about them, wanting to get advice from them. He would then follow their advice and try to hold you gently, speaking softly into your ear, reminding you he loves you to the moon and back. Putting Yoongi’s and Namjoon’s advice to work. He would probably ask why this started happening. Just genuinely wondering what could have happened to someone as beautiful and sweet as you to make you have such horrible nights, wondering if there’s anything he could do to protect you from them.

Jimin. . .

Jimin would get really sad each time it happened. He would feel useless whenever they happened just because he didn’t know how to prevent them from happening, and when they did happen, he would feel like he’s not doing enough for you. He would look up ways to handle when you got night terrors, and find foods, teas, or activities that could limit how often they occurred and would dedicate himself to getting you those teas, foods or doing those activities with you. He would definitely ask why they happen, and when he heard the reason, he would try to make more positive things happen for you and would try to help you keep your attention on the present, rather than the past, wanting you to have the best life possible with him.

Taehyung. . .

He wouldn’t know what to do, or really how to react. He would be so concerned, but wouldn’t know the first thing about how to handle these situations, and therefore, he would panic whenever this happened. He would do the right things though, just out of instinct of wanting to protect you. He wouldn’t like to leave you alone though, and would constantly be fretting over you, wanting to know how you’re doing, if you’re okay. On the nights that he can’t be there for you, he would write you a letter the morning before and leave it somewhere for you to find, like in the bathroom by the tooth brush so you find it before going to bed. He would also buy a lot of comforting snacks and drinks for in case you wake up in the middle of the night, he would tell you where to find them in the letter. Making it a fun game for you to distract you from your worries, and instead replacing them with thoughts of him. The next morning he would visit with a cute/weird looking animal pillow for you with his wide grin spread across his face as he greets you, “Hi Jagi~ You sleep well? Did you like the snacks?”

Jungkook. . .

Kookie would be another that doesn’t really know how to help. Mainly because he’s so young. He would probably be a little scared too and without really realizing it, would distance himself from you. Not because he now dislikes you or is judging you, but just because he doesn’t know how to approach the situation. He would speak to his Hyungs about it and ask them what he should do. After getting their input, he would approach you again and try to speak calmly to you about what you’re going through and would promise you that he’ll stay by your side and help you as much as he can in anyway that he can. Though still, he would be very cautious and nervous about the whole thing, and honestly it would take him a while to open up about it. But he would still put 110% effort into being there for you as much as you need.

[scarletrebel]

a thing about rw.by

this is a whatever. not a meta or a theory or really a well-thought out critique. if anything I guess im just voicing my frustrations. if you like rw.by, please, please dont read this. you wont like what i have to say and i am in no way looking to upset rw.by fans, i just need a good old fashioned shout into the void. theres some things i liked in here too that actually came out whilst writing aha, so its not all my bullshit.

my main gripe with rw.by at the moment is the lack of character development for ruby rose. you know, the main character? which i think is the reason why my heart breaks a little that i dont love it as much as i used to. i identified so much with ruby. a little girl with a heart too big for her brain, who just wants to protect and help, having to come to terms with the fact that the real world doesnt make noble goals like that easy? thats my childhood right there. 

the latter is something that hasnt been touched on as far as ruby rose’s character development goes until this season, and even then it hasnt really been touched, or lightly brushed, its been mentioned. ruby thought saving the world wouldnt take that long, that the world wasnt as big as it is; she apologises to jaune for dragging jnpr along with her. all INCREDIBLE MOMENTS I was really happy about, but they werent expanded upon. it was like the writers wanted to hit a checklist of ‘make sure the audience knows ruby is naive and sad but hopeful’ rather than making it more engaging to learn about as aspects of her character, which is just lazy storytelling. 

show, dont tell. they’ve done that with juane. they’ve shown that he’s upset about phyrra’s death, they’ve shown him get mad at the situation and with qrow. he’s never outright voiced these things about his character like ruby has about herself, and we all knew she was a little naive. season one, weiss accusing ruby of being a bad leader and them showing the audience ruby trying to get better was so much better than just having her be like ‘im a little naive but ill fight for the greater good!’ like she has so blatantly been this series. 

like, why would she not get mad at her own uncle for keeping her in the dark about someone wanting to kill her?? ruby’s what, 16 at this point? 15 at the least? would she not at least be a little bit annoyed, and would that not show some character growth on her part if she was? my naivety ended, personally, when i stopped trying to be so dang optimistic, (this can become more complicated to explain, as obviously you still have to have hope in the world while keeping a level head and ruby is still young, but, thats another conversation) and if that moment hasnt happened for ruby after 1. penny dying 2. phyrra dying 3. her uncle keeping important information from her 4. her sister having her arm sliced off 5. her friends being split up from her 6. nearly dying to a foe way more powerful than she is, even with her silver eyes -- then when?! 

and lets just get it out of the way -- i dont fucking hate juane. i really, really like him as a character but i just fucking wish he got less of a spotlight because so much more attention is being payed to him and his journey and how everything affects him over ruby. it just is, and it sucks. i like theorising about his semblance, im pretty certain he’s really fucking powerful just like ruby is, but if he unlocks and masters his thing before ruby does i will be so pissed, and the only reason i say that is because it feels like thats the way its headed. 

juane is a lovely character. he’s heroic, he’s actually quite brave and smart, and he’s a good fucking friend. he’s a brilliant support character. but for the love of all that is holy, focus more on ruby when they’re in the same scene. about how he’s helping her on her journey, why could they not have had one conversation about phyrra on screen is my question. they did it really, really well it season one, and i was very loud about the fact that no, juane doesnt get more screen time or attention, but during season four it feels like he -- like everyone that isnt ruby or the other three titular characters -- has over ruby. 

just, please, rwby season five -- give ruby rose more character development. prove me fucking wrong and reveal that you were playing the long game, please.

also; i havent watched the last two episodes, but if it turns out the ‘’’cure’’’ to yangs ptsd is a new arm. fuck, man. please no. but i cant really comment on that yet so, we’ll see. i actually, up until seeing the preview for her spraying her arm and all that, really liked yangs journey. and taiyang is such a sweetheart i adore him. he was so patient and gentle and loving with yang, a few moments had me cringing but overall, an enjoyable part of the season. i hope yang gets to punch adam in the face. 

blake’s journey is one ive enjoyed also. and tbh, i think sun following her and thinking she was on a personal mission to take down the white fang is a very sun thing to do, and i think blake surprising us all by saying no im not gonna do that is a very blake thing as well. sun is spontaneous, carefree to a point and very dedicated to taking down bad guys. projecting that onto blake was his mistake, and im really glad that blake is the one to voice the audiences frustrations at how annoying it is that he follows and harrasses her into taking action (even when a part of us knows that she should -- a really, really well written aspect of blakes journey actually, i really liked it) (sun really needs to have a ‘okay im being a creep im really sorry’ moment but i dont see it happening. again; prove me wrong, guys.)

blake so, so needed to see her family. im glad she could see that and im not surprised that she wanted to run under the guise of ‘resting’ like. come on blake, we all know you’re scared shitless. her characterisation was on point, probably the most out of the four girls. blake was a+ in this season and im really happy about that, come to think of it aha. i hope she gets to punch adam too.

weiss im satisfied with too, although i really wish that ironwood and her got to talking. he didnt necesarily need to save the day for her, i would think that a guy fighting her own battles -- even if it is a ‘good one’ like ironwood -- would irk her, so it wouldve been nice for them to talk. (im still fucking salty about juanes ‘you can have her’ to neptune like lmao fuck off you fucking dudebros THAT WAS SO ANNOYING anyway) weiss being able to call off the thing she summoned before it hurt the lady would be a sign that yeah she’s getting strong but she’s learning control, so. shrug. 

papa schnee is an asshole, where is mama schnee?? and i FUCKING LOVED THE PLOT POINT THAT HER DAD MARRIED INTO THE FAMILY. please let this be an opening for a badass but subdued for Reasons mama schnee (although my hope is not that high)

my main, number one, OVERALL problem with rwby since the end of s3 to s4 is that they dont give the characters that need and deserve the most time and attention just that. i know its a small crew, i know that what they do and the time they do it in is amazing and admirable, and i do admire it and applaud it, they work so fucking hard and deserve praise for that. but they dont use their time wisely when it comes to assigning it in the narrative. and thats more of a writing issue, anyway. 

and another fucking thing. the majority of the interesting characters that arent the main four and are alive and have been developed or made mysterious enough to warrant interest from the audience are fucking men. and yeah, no duh jade, welcome to every piece of media for fucking ever. qrow is an asshole that everyone loves, raven is probably going to turn out to be a bitch -- the majority of salem’s ‘court’ or whatever are dudes. ironwood. ren got backstory over nora. blakes dad. adam taurus. for all that i love him, fucking juane. did we learn anything about phyrra that wasnt her explicitly telling us her backstory? no. we felt sad that she died because of her connections with other people, but, lets face it, mostly juane. im still adamant that she didnt die just for him, that she knew there was a bigger picture and genuinely loved him, but from a narrative pov him and his reactions was a bigger focus point especially in the aftermath with season 4. 

(ruby fucking unlocked an ANCIENT POWER BECAUSE SHE SAW PHYRRA DIE AND SHE DOESNT GET TO HAVE THE SAME EMOTIONAL SCENE ABOUT IT THAT JUANE GOT??? PLS LAST TWO EPISODES. GIVE HER THAT AT LEAST. PROVE ME WRONG.) 

i remember at a rwby panel at rtx one year, when asked about making a series that has four female protaganists, the guys said that they didnt see it that way, that they were just writing a story about a bunch of kids and yeah, i get that. but its not. 

its a story about four strong, tested, young women and they need to stop being oblivious to that because the narrative is fucking suffering. 

end rant/

[babygirlblogging-lise-blog]

My First

I failed my driving test. 

That was in the fall of 2017, I was a senior in high school. All of my friends were getting their licenses and cars while I was stuck being a passenger. The woman who failed me thought I wasn’t confident enough. Like damn, can’t even be nervous without being penalized these days huh? She failed me for the most ridiculous shit. But that has nothing to do with the story I plan on telling. 

A few weeks before my eighteenth birthday I tried again. This was something I needed to do before I turned 18. Giving up wasn’t an option. There was no way I wanted to retake my written if I didn’t pass before I was considered a legal adult. The guy who tested me this time? He was fine as hell and now that I think about it, I was supposed to text him when I turned eighteen. I lost his number, sadly. But that also has nothing to do with the story. I want to tell you the story about the first guy I-

-’ve always been cheap. I was ten when my aunt was going to get a new car. I convinced her to save her old car for me so that when I started driving I wouldn’t have to buy a car. By the end of the summer of 2017, my grandpa fixed up the old car and I was all good to go. Free to go wherever I wanted. I no longer had to wait around for people, waste money on lyfts or walk. So naturally, I took myself on adventures. 

One night, against my better judgement. I lied to my mom and said I was going to hang out with my friends. If I would have told her what I was really going to do, she would’ve gone into over protective mode and I didn’t want that. I just wanted some time to myself. I drove over the bridge and into Philly. Not for a concert or any other event. I just wanted some me time. I parked my car. Got oreo ice cream and sugar cookies from Insomnia Cookies and walked around the city. 

Not going to lie and say I knew exactly where I was at all times. I wasn’t even guaranteed that I was safe, I wasn’t focused on my surroundings. All I know is I was somewhere around Broad Street, because that’s where Insomnia Cookies was located. I came across this huge, gorgeous building, I’m not very good at names. Everything was lit up and there was art on the sides of some of the buildings surrounding it. There was even a fountain in front of it all. The scene just looked so beautiful. I walked across the street, hopped up on a ledge and just took it all in. It felt serene, even with so many people flooding the sidewalks. I sat and continued eating my snacks, I was enjoying clearing my head. Until someone interrupted me that is… 

“Hey.” I looked up to see a cute guy. There were a few girls not too far from me talking. It was the beginning of August, late at night but still pushing eighty degrees. Of course they were clad in clothes that left nothing to the imagination. I figured he was talking to them. Guys like the ones who look easy. He couldn’t have been talking to me. So I went back to dipping my cookie into my ice cream and admiring the scenery. I didn’t really acknowledge the fact that he moved a little closer to me. He said hey again and I finally looked up at him directly, before looking around. He laughed a little. “I don’t blame you for being that into ya snacks. I love their shit. But I’ve been trying to get your attention for a minute.” Yep, he’s definitely talking to me. I was confused as to why though. I get hit on by guys pretty often, I know I’m not ugly but with him talking to me, I felt extremely insecure. Suddenly I wished that I had dressed a little better. I looked like a child for fucks sakes. I was wearing a gold fish shirt, black tights, a hat that said “Hoodrats” and Chucks. I was even swinging my legs off the ledge, eating ice cream! 

He introduced himself as Dey. I wanted to know the name his mom gave him so I asked him for his full name. Ayinde. Pronounced Uh-zhen-day. Unique. It has African origins. He told me that my name was almost as pretty as I was. If I were white, I definitely would have blushed. I didn’t understand why he made me feel so shy. 

 I learned that he was mixed with Irish, Haitian and Cuban. Interesting mix, I know. Despite his slight baby face, he turned out to be 20. He was tall, about 6’1. He had taken his hat off to redo his ponytail, he tied his curly, brown hair back into a man bun. He was light skinned with a slight tan. Doe brown eyes paired with the cutest smile. He was dressed in all black, I would’ve been a little concerned if it weren’t for the logo on his hat. I could see a tattoo peeking out from under his short sleeved shirt. Just my type. 

I was tired of the small talk and beating around the bush. “Why’d you come over here to talk to me?” Instead of replying, the douche just smiled and then hopped up on the ledge next to me. It was weird. I was supposed to be having me time, if any other guy did this I would’ve been rude. I wouldn’t have given them the time of day. I wasn’t even afraid, Ayinde strangely made me feel safe. Something was telling me to give him a chance, instead of shutting him down. 

“Well, I was on break, I work across the street.” He points to a small cafe. “I saw you walk by and… I don’t know I thought you were beautiful. Now that I’ve gotten closer, it seems so effortless. No make up and you’re not even dressed up.”

Shit, I have no clue what to say to this. He’s been nice and respectful. “Thank you.” Well, that was lame but it was safe. We talked more before he had to go back to work. He was funny as hell, we both had the same rude, dark, sarcastic humor. He complimented me pretty often and he seemed kind of bummed that he had to leave once his break was over. 

“Why don’t you grow some balls and just ask me what you wanna ask me.” I thought to myself, I should be a fucking actress. I’m great at faking confidence. 

He laughed and just smiled at me for a second. “Well, I would like to get to know you more. Can I get your number?” 

You know when you give someone your number, you almost expect them to wait days or weeks to text you. Surprisingly, Ayinde texted me that night. 

AYINDE: hey beautiful, u get home safely?

ME: Oh shit, I see u found ur balls! 

AYINDE: lol yea yea yea. I know I was acting like a pussy earlier but that’s not how I usually am

***

AYINDE: FT me? I haven’t seen u since we met punk

ME: No I look crazy rn 

AYINDE: Is tht even possible? I think you’re cute af

ME: aww thanks but everyone’s entitled to their own insecurities

AYINDE: Ig but that’s y u need me 

ME: wym?

AYINDE: to take away your insecurities

ME: Doubt that’s possible 

AYINDE: try me

***

ME: entertain meee! I’m bored, stuck at my great grandma’s house :(

AYINDE: I literally just woke up, still in bed

ME: Luckyyy, my head’s fucking killing me

AYINDE: wish I could help

ME: me too lol do u have superpowers? 

AYINDE: no, do u?

ME: Nah I’m not tht awesome 

AYINDE: I think ur pretty awesome

Ayinde and I got closer over the next month. We hadn’t actually seen each other after the first time we met. He worked crazy hours and still had school. I worked everyday and had school as well. Plus, I wasn’t completely comfortable meeting up with a guy I didn’t really know. He understood that. He always made sure I was comfortable before we did anything. He eventually convinced me to facetime him… a lot... and when we didn’t he acted like a big baby.

ME: u happy now?

AYINDE: lol no

ME: y not -_-

AYINDE: I got nothing pretty to look at now

ME: whose fault it tht?

AYINDE: idk. Do u kno?

ME: Lol yea ik

AYINDE: tell me 

ME: yours :P

AYINDE: well if u came over we wouldn’t have this problem

I was a very late bloomer. I knew freshmen girls who got pregnant, meanwhile I hadn’t had my first kiss until I was 16. I didn’t start dating until 17. I was a fresh 18 and I was still a virgin. I waited a while to tell him because I liked him and didn’t want to scare him off. But he surprised me, I learned that he wasn’t like other guys. Most guys only want you for one thing. And that’s to get them off. Not all are gonna be lovey dovey when you’re not putting out. 

ME: I hate being a girl. I think my uterus just exlpoded. Im dying

AYINDE: Aww u can’t die yet, I havent taken u out yet

ME: wut do u want from meee

AYINDE: I told u what I want 

ME: hmmmm

AYINDE: i didnt? 

ME: u could have an ulterior motive

AYINDE: lol what? Ayo y cant I just think ur gorgeous and want to get to kno u, find out who u r

***

He was very protective of me. Anytime I even looked a tiny bit sad or sounded off, he was ready to beat someone up for me. 

AYINDE: ur awake? 

ME: Yea just woke up on some bs 

AYINDE: u good?

ME: yea im ok lol

AYINDE: u sure? I’ll fuck someone up

ME: lol yea im good now

And as the oldest, always looking out for my little brothers and my friends. It felt good to have someone looking out for me for a change. 

***

ME: I move into college tmw nd I aint pack shit yet

AYINDE: ur bugging

ME: Pack 4 me?

AYINDE: lol ill pass

ME: my back hurts like all hell, some of this shit is heavy

AYINDE: what u carrying…?

ME: 4 one, I hav a lot of clothes, they add up nd I had to take em downstairs

AYINDE: lol whoakay wittle wone

ME: fuck u, this shit weighs more than me! I almost fell down the stairs!

AYINDE: thts cuz ur like 87 lbs

ME: Aye! Give me my props, im like 120

AYINDE: lol i see u killa

I fucking loved when he called me that, made me feel invincible. 

Despite how it seems this isn’t a love story. This isn’t a memoir about me finding my first love. Bleh. That’s so sappy. I want to tell you about the first time I stepped out of my comfort zone. You’ve experienced a snippet of our relationship. Ayinde and I were never together. We were just people who met at the wrong time. Had too much going on in our separate lives to focus on developing a relationship. But it didn’t stop us from pursuing the unique friendship we had. For years we maintained contact, I’d visit him pretty often but we always kept our distance when it came to personal things. We used each other as escapes from our realities. We were each other’s vacation after a long week. 

One night we were hanging out and things got more heated than they usually did. I wasn’t prepared to take the next step with anyone. No worries, I’m not about to make you uncomfortable and talk about how I lost my virginity because that isn’t the point. Before I say anything, I did have a great childhood. But some things did leave me scarred, I struggled with intimacy as a result. To make a long story short, it makes me self conscious, not something I’ll flaunt for the whole world to see. 

I’m the type of girl who will wait until the bathroom is empty to change my pad or start going to the bathroom. If it’s too busy, I’ll wait all day until I go home. In the locker room, I’d find the farthest corner or wait until all the girls leave to change my clothes. I’m not comfortable being alone around men. I used to clench my pocket knife in my hand when I walked home alone at night. The list goes on. 

The point of this memoir is to tell about the first time I felt completely comfortable in my own skin. Let alone, around a guy. 

They were everywhere. Trailing from my neck and back up against mine. His lips were distracting. I could barely focus. Let alone notice that the both of us were wearing less and less clothing by the minute. I stopped. 

I wouldn’t be able to handle him not liking what he saw. What if I did a bad job? What if he stopped talking to me?

“Do you want me to stop?” Ayinde pulled back from me looking concerned. He looks so cute right now. I kind of wanted to pick up where we left off. 

“Ye-No. It’s just, can you turn the lights completely down?” He liked his room dim, not too bright or dark. It was normally perfect but at that moment, they were making this situation turn into a nightmare.

“Um, why? What’s wrong?” He’s still hovering above me. I didn’t really want him to move. I bit my lip, contemplating. 

“Just don’t look at me any differently. Okay?” I pulled him down by the back of his neck and kissed him hard. Hoping that my issues with myself wouldn’t be a big deal, I’ve never gone this far with anyone. 

When the time came. I held my breath. Okay, I see my pants on the floor near the dresser. My shirt is near the door. I was locating my clothing so that I’d be able to leave quicker. I’m not really one to feel embarrassed but this was going to be borderline humiliating if I wasn’t enough for him. This reminded me of how I felt when I failed my driving test, but I wanted to do this with Ayinde. I didn’t want to quit just because I hadn’t grown the balls to show anyone else. I didn’t want to miss out because I was nervous as to what he might think. I had to at least give him a chance. 

What Ayinde did shocked me. Instead of being grossed out or losing his hard on. He didn’t ask any questions, he didn’t say anything. He kissed every part of my body and when he was done he leaned down to kiss my lips. I was worried, about him seeing all of me, for no reason. He wound up giving me the confidence I needed to be comfortable in my own skin. He told me what I needed to hear from a guy that I was into, not my parents: 

“You’re beautiful.”

And just like that... I didn’t have anymore insecurities. 

[atomickrakatoa]

Episode 3 - "It's currently Day 50 and Adil still hasn't responded to my message" - Christian

Jake

holy fudge that was a close one, i suppose i gotta count myself lucky i managed to survive that, and use this extra time to ensure i wont be having my name written down unless its a vote to win! That said, a luck immunity doesn't bide well for our chances of winning, but here's to praying !

Bryce

Oooh so Bryan got an idol thats iconic!! From the other tribe too! Im gonna try to find stuff with my snorkel and fishing hook thing!

Bryan

Um well. I didn’t really know jaiden that well. And I had never heard of Colin or Jake so I didn’t realky care about that vote. Anyways this immunity challenge is ugly. I literally hate luck challenges soooo much. O also I told Bryce about the idol I have. I really trust and like him so I have no problem with it. Also we are working together on the lagoon searching which makes it a whole lot easier! 

Adil

Glad we won the last round. Just hoping that we get lucky with our choices on this immunity

Later... 

**Fajar wins immunity**

Gutted that we lost, however it was a game of chance and it fell in favour of the villains

Colin

Woo we won! And Jaiden is gone!! I'm staying for at least two more rounds!! Wig!!

Nic

trixie dana zach nicholas? fake trixie is all like “omg who didn’t vote for jaiden” .....it’s you. you didn’t .

Willa

Yay immunity yay jaiden gave me a super idol I honestly have nothing to confess yay I'm gonna win!!!

Bryan

We lost by one fucking point! What the fuck! Chips didn’t even participate...but I like chips and I want him to stay. Quil seemed set on getting rid of chips tho. I’d rather get rid of adil or even jay because I haven’t really talked to jay. Anyways. I’m not sure cuz I wanna be good with quil and chips but if I go with quil I lose an ally, but if I go with chips I may lose quil. 

Akito

I want to protect my friends that's it

Bryce

Okay so think we're voting adil even tho chips striked and is awol. Love him tho! I woke up and was in an alliance so thats cute. Also someone found the idol... not as cute. But im gonna keep doing my thing at that lagoon swimming to the max or something maybe ill go hiking. Hate that we lost another challenge also I think we're the boring uncracked tribe how unfortunate but I hope we get cracktd soon enough

Zach

okay wig uhhh i have two advantages in this game and i havent told anyone about it and im so shocked. i usually can't keep my mouth shut so for me to go on with it?? wig!! uhm yeah idk we're not going to tribal yet so frick YEAH!

Jake

We slayed immunity (if you can call winning by one negative point slaying?) And i couldnt be happier outside of that i expect a swap will occur soon, to shake things up, i gotta idol search n hope i make a correct decision!

Bryan

Ok so I’ve decided I’m definitely keeping chips and voting out adil. I’m trying to get people to vote with me but it could honestly still go either way at this point. 

Akito

Screw koh sai alliance. I just want me and Jay at final.

Christian

So the heroes tribe is a little quiet, but I guess that's to be expected. I'm someone that always wants to play hard from the start, but I know how to keep it lowkey so it's not obvious. I love to strategize, so it's a little frustrating that I'm not in any alliances right now. I mean Quil and I trust and talk to each other, and the same with Kelsey and I. But I still like having that extra security in a group alliance. Hopefully I make it through this round, so I can bring up to Quil about creating an alliance with Kelsey (I know I mentioned it in a previous confessional). Chips and I talked for the first time tonight, but we both thought the other person was an intern LOLOL. That's why I never messaged him. It's currently Day 50 and Adil still hasn't responded to my message I sent him night ONE of the game. 

Chips

Alright, so since the hosts don't want me celebrating the Thanksgiving holiday they made a challenge due on Thanksgiving. And, since I actually celebrated the holiday and was not available all day I did not submit for the challenge. This means that I was a contributor to our tribe losing the challenge and thus going to tribal council. I decided that since this is a very clear factor in the upcoming tribal council that I might be in trouble so I started to talk to people... and based off of exchanges that I've had I'm guessing that the vote will be for Adil instead of me. If that is not the case and I get voted off for celebrating a holiday that's lame, but I understand. https://media.giphy.com/media/xUA7bgj8d068Z0BUwE/giphy.gif

QuilLynn

So we’re going to tribal! I’m def worried, because I understand that I am a pretty big threat and target, but I hope I’ve made enough bonds that people wouldn’t want to vote me out just yet. I also believe I found the Idol, or rather where the idol would have been. If I had to guess I would say Jay probably has it, worst case Adil has it. I also think Jay and Chips are working together. Literally 2 seconds after I mentioned possibly voting chips to Jay, chips messaged me out of nowhere lol. We’ll see how this tribal goes, I just really hope I don’t leave so early!

Trixie

The Legend of Logan: Part 1: Logan stood on the hill overlooking the black castle. Although his furby eyes were wide, he had to squint to see them — the gremlins. From the distance away, he could see a swarm of them outside the castle walls. His heart broke… Inside, his love was captured, awaiting rescue. The townsfolk thought of Logan as a weak furbling, not fit to save their Furby Princess Luke. But Logan knew inside his furby heart that this was his destiny; to save his love Luke, and in turn the entire world. He would save the princess that had been swept away by the gremlins and prove himself as a true hero. Even if that meant him dying in the process. END CHAPTER.

Liana

I'm so excited that I survived the Villains' first tribal! I'm really excited Jaiden left because there was no way I was talking to him after the way he's played in other games (there's really no point since he won't change). I wanted to suggest Jaiden but I didn't want it to turn into a war of me vs. Jaiden so I'm glad the tribe wanted him out. It also got me a bunch of tea...me, nic, and nicholas formed a voting group thing to try to combat Trixie, Dana, and Zachary. However I like Zachary a bunch and got close to him so I felt at first he was giving me good information about people in that circle; then later I found out he was lying about voting for Jaiden (because his vote was randomized) and it just felt like a ploy I fell for to give him info about who I was voting for (or maybe even my "side"). I'm really glad Jake didn't go because I've enjoyed talking to him a bunch (but also it scares me because he doesn't seem villainous at all so I'm ready to be stabbed). Also tonight I hope Chips doesn't go home! But he's an inactive &$#% so we'll see. I guess we can never both have good luck in games.

Nicholas

im so glad jaiden is gne

Dana

So umm last round happened and Zach's randomized vote created a tie, which was inconvenient af. Jaiden had to go though. Last night Zach called me at like 4:30am and I was caught off guard and accidentally said some dumb shit that suggested i dont want to work with our premade. It isn't even true, i was just tired..so wig! Also Zach told me he has an idol now and for some reason decided to tell me instead of his actual sister which... wig! that is suspect as fuck though. 

**Adil is voted out and round 4 begins.**