#also forgive the 9anime watermark lmao. i'll have a pristine copy of amphibia but i don't do that for much else

[polkadotsunshine]

of the wild things that happen in True Colors, one of my favorites has been andrias’s A.T. field.

i choose to interpret this as an in-universe real fucking Absolute Territory Field. this is not a dune shield or newtopian tech. this is a barrier manifested by his soul. in evangelion (spoilers btw!) we learn that all life generates its own A.T. field. these fields are the boundaries that separate individuals from each other, in both a physical and metaphysical sense.

angels are special in that their A.T. fields are so strong they are visible and can be used for supernatural physical feats. so why do i believe andrias can do this?

at various points in the story, the protagonists of evangelion try to form close relationships but they only end up hurting each other. as a response to this trauma they shut themselves off from the world. each character does this through different means, but they all find a way to avoid making close relationships again. they put up emotional walls and though these barriers are not physical they are no less strong. this insight is key; as it turns out, A.T. fields are formed by an individual’s fear of being hurt by others.

“Hedgehogs have a hard time sharing warmth with other hedgehogs. The closer they get, the more they hurt each other with their quills. People are also like that. I think some part of Shinji is afraid to take that risk because he's afraid of being hurt.”

andrias has spent a thousand years trying and failing to forget leif. because she was such a close friend, losing her hurt so much more. he has spent a thousand years in self imposed solitude, grieving over her betrayal. his life has been defined from his isolation; it’s no wonder it’s manifested physically. it’s no wonder that andrias has an in-universe real fucking Absolute Territory Field.

“That's the thing about friends, isn't it? The more you love them, the more it hurts when they go.”

now let’s understand how anne overcomes this supernatural defense.

anne has been betrayed by sasha, marcy - even hop pop - and yet she will not let them go. she chooses to fight to restore her friendships, often literally. while andrias has long since given up, anne accepts that the joy of connecting with others comes at the risk of betrayal and abandonment. to her, it is a happiness worth the pain.

“It's not easy. Forgiveness is hard. And it can take time. But believe me... it's worth it”

anne weilds the power of the heart. she reconnects to the stone and undergoes her transformation with one goal in mind. her strength is fueled by an undying motivation to keep her friends. she channels the calamity gem with a simple mantra:

“Give him back.”

while andrias accepted the loss of his friends as irreversible, anne refuses this fate. this is the essence of anne’s conflict with andrias. in their final battle during All In, anne confronts andrias’s philosophy; the fight is more psychological than physical. after all, tritonio says, "an honest dialogue is more powerful than any weapon.”

“So what? I'm supposed to give up? Stop feeling things? Like you? Honestly, I pity you! You shut yourself off from the rest of the world, didn't you? A thousand years of suffering. Of burying your feelings. Of hating yourself. That must have been hard.”

after all these years; anne’s spirit, marcy’s friendship, and leif’s letter change andrias’s mind. he finally opens himself up to others. his A.T. field goes down. he's vulnerable.

“So I'm begging you, my dearest friend, don't close yourself off. Open your heart, and follow it.”

however, back in True Colors, andrias is more closed off than ever. he backstabs the first friend he’s had in a thousand years. in his mind, there’s no going back from here. anne cannot defeat him with a change of heart; not yet. she must overcome the shield with force, though that’s easier said than done.

you see, in evangelion, only one thing is strong enough to break through an A.T. field: another A.T. field.

so how can anne have such a strong A.T. field if she is philosophically opposite to andrias? here lies the foundation of evangelion; accepting your boundary between others is a necessary part of life. when A.T. fields cease to exist, people cannot exist because they are indistinguishable from one another.

in the end, shinji realizes that he would rather struggle to understand others than to simply not exist in a sea of souls without A.T. fields. he does this after a long journey to find happiness and self worth.

anne, like shinji, recognizes the pain of intimacy, yet chooses to fight for it anyway. the strength of her A.T. field comes from her strong sense of self. her friendship with sprig teaches her that she has value. she finally stands up for herself because she values her own self worth. her A.T. field, while not visible, shatters andrias’s defenses. her individuality is not born from the fear of others but something stronger.

"I think the reason I don't want a new look because I'm finally happy with who I see in the mirror right now. So no matter what I put on, I just wanna see the same person smiling back."

anne wins because she loves herself.